Though it has to suck suddenly ending up here high. Mello knows. Might be a while before this guy realizes this isn't a mind-fuck. All the same, that comment isn't sitting well with him.]
Fuck you.
[It's pretty much all he has to say on the matter. Idiot.]
[His right eye zooms into the camera, faint orange light bouncing off his lens at an awkward angle and blinding the video on and off. A sweep of an over-expressed frown as it is lowered again.]
Never again. At least not with an iPhone present-- I know there's a recording feature. [Serious.] I demand to know who this is.
[Red filled his vision- and not just because the Asian male feminist was decked in the color like some sort of Jappo-Po. If he's been snatched to China, there are indeed bears present ranging from the Panda to the battery bear (the more energy to maim him with).]
And that's your plan? [He "ha's" sharply, though it sounds to be coming from a rather dry throat.] Because it's relatively sturdy considering it was made in China. I am impressed, sir.
It's a burden being right every.single.time. Hopefully he was also partially correct about the Po comparison; now he isn't a fan of the series, but -as far as his children explained- he was the nice, eh, tubby. And he was certainly the morally upright one, ostracizing Tinky Winky when he finally came out. This may not be the red alert situation it initiailly appeared.]
It is.
But you know what would be more nefarious? Nef-glecting orders and returning me to America. Just think about it, sir-- are you really the type to listen to orders mindlessly, stuffing chain messages into cookies and murdering off foreign pundits? Or do you have the overwhelming balls to turn around and tell them to chow ne zoo-zshong sheeba die? [Lift of the chin. Intense.] I think you do.
[Have a confused-looking British boy. Who doesn't really look that British, even if he might sound it faintly, but the confused thing is down pat, given this odd fellow. ... Which is saying a lot, given everyone else he's seen here.]
[A nervous grin is forced, though.]
... Are you alright? ['In the head' is what he'd like to add, but Allen's too nice to ever say that.]
[He can't help his eyebrow twitching a bit, just a bit, though. Forgive him, his nerves have been frayed thoroughly lately.]
That accent, as much as he desperately tries to cover it, seeps through and Colbert offers the video a massive uplift of his eyebrow.]
I thought the plan was to remain allies despite this catastrophe you have encouraged. Do we no longer share the same... [Physically restrains self.] goal, hmn?
The British clearly believe Americans are gullible mugs, but he can see through that friendly expression and facial tattoo- wait, facial tattoo? Since when did their snooty allies become so risque? He squints at the red lettering; are those Asian characters? Not just a limey... but a traitorous, pro-Chinese, socialist limey. Well, Stephen Colbert is no nark.]
Perhaps you also direct me to an American Airlines?
[....looks like another loony escaped his padded cell.]
[Heine eyes the man with cold indifference and mild amusement. It's always fun to mess with crazy people. Second best to beating up doped up thugs. Though this guy looks like he might be both crazy and high on something. Well he needs a distraction from the fucked up business with the gods anyway]
You're in a forest. Bears are the least of your worries I'd think.
[He stares down at the man, who's surprisingly neither Asian nor is he rocking an eyepatch and peg-leg (well, the latter isn't confirmed). While he encourages the shift of topic from bears to other things, he isn't so keen on accepting that there are other things worse than bears even while he confirms the presence of those mindless killing beasts.
As serious as he appears, his legs are shaking fairly relentlessly, thus shaking the screen steadily.]
Who do you work for? And if it's not God, tell them this means war.
[The highest bidder probably isn't Greece. And China is a very real possibility considering the state of the rest of the world.]
You, sir, should be ashamed. And terrified- for there is a man incapable of dying rushing to my rescue. [Perhaps a bit of a lie. He then furrow his brows.] Are you wearing a collar?
[Renji has been listening to this post and the replies to it, and guess who's not in the mood to listen to any more of this guy's stupid drivel after the Poking Villagers incident. Have Renji's brief rundown on your situation: annoyed version.]
Oi, what the hell kinda stupid shit are ya spewin'? This ain't yer world, nobody's kidnapped ya, wants anythin' from ya, or even knows who the fuck ya are.
This place's called Kannagara, an' the part of Kannagara yer in is called Himorogi. An' nothin' dies in Himorogi so ya can shut the fuck up about the damn bears.
[Oh. One of those the-world-isn't-owned-by-anyone bleeding heart nutjobs. Of course it is; hasn't he ever seen a globe? There are literally names.]
Look, maybe you believe that romantic humbo-jump, but this isn't France, so we need to live in the real world. [Voice softens.] It's natural for people to die. Fortunately, you are right that we continue living in a sense- but I'm sure you know where this is going.
Comments 63
Though it has to suck suddenly ending up here high. Mello knows. Might be a while before this guy realizes this isn't a mind-fuck. All the same, that comment isn't sitting well with him.]
Fuck you.
[It's pretty much all he has to say on the matter. Idiot.]
Reply
Never again. At least not with an iPhone present-- I know there's a recording feature. [Serious.] I demand to know who this is.
Reply
No one you should worry about. Good luck out there, yeah?
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[A harsh command, albeit desperate at its core. Brown hues dart from side to side. Whoever it is, they win this round.]
Alright, you can record. Just send someone soon.
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...Yes. There are bears in the forests here.
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And that's your plan? [He "ha's" sharply, though it sounds to be coming from a rather dry throat.] Because it's relatively sturdy considering it was made in China. I am impressed, sir.
[Swallow. Praise = No bear mauling?]
Reply
Playing along is clearly the best solution, he decides.]
I'm pleased that it meets with your approval. I'd say it's quite the nefarious plan indeed, isn't it?
A forest infested with bears, I mean.
Reply
It's a burden being right every.single.time. Hopefully he was also partially correct about the Po comparison; now he isn't a fan of the series, but -as far as his children explained- he was the nice, eh, tubby. And he was certainly the morally upright one, ostracizing Tinky Winky when he finally came out. This may not be the red alert situation it initiailly appeared.]
It is.
But you know what would be more nefarious? Nef-glecting orders and returning me to America. Just think about it, sir-- are you really the type to listen to orders mindlessly, stuffing chain messages into cookies and murdering off foreign pundits? Or do you have the overwhelming balls to turn around and tell them to chow ne zoo-zshong sheeba die? [Lift of the chin. Intense.] I think you do.
Reply
[Have a confused-looking British boy. Who doesn't really look that British, even if he might sound it faintly, but the confused thing is down pat, given this odd fellow. ... Which is saying a lot, given everyone else he's seen here.]
[A nervous grin is forced, though.]
... Are you alright? ['In the head' is what he'd like to add, but Allen's too nice to ever say that.]
[He can't help his eyebrow twitching a bit, just a bit, though. Forgive him, his nerves have been frayed thoroughly lately.]
Reply
That accent, as much as he desperately tries to cover it, seeps through and Colbert offers the video a massive uplift of his eyebrow.]
I thought the plan was to remain allies despite this catastrophe you have encouraged. Do we no longer share the same... [Physically restrains self.] goal, hmn?
Reply
Excuse me?
[Blinking, then a polite, awkward grin.]
...Perhaps you hit your head on something? I could come get you if you need help getting to shelter.
[Or away from bears as the case may be. ... Bears, really?]
[...]
[Well, at least this fellow doesn't seem like the dangerous off-in-the-head sort.]
Reply
The British clearly believe Americans are gullible mugs, but he can see through that friendly expression and facial tattoo- wait, facial tattoo? Since when did their snooty allies become so risque? He squints at the red lettering; are those Asian characters? Not just a limey... but a traitorous, pro-Chinese, socialist limey. Well, Stephen Colbert is no nark.]
Perhaps you also direct me to an American Airlines?
Reply
[Heine eyes the man with cold indifference and mild amusement. It's always fun to mess with crazy people. Second best to beating up doped up thugs. Though this guy looks like he might be both crazy and high on something. Well he needs a distraction from the fucked up business with the gods anyway]
You're in a forest. Bears are the least of your worries I'd think.
Reply
[He stares down at the man, who's surprisingly neither Asian nor is he rocking an eyepatch and peg-leg (well, the latter isn't confirmed). While he encourages the shift of topic from bears to other things, he isn't so keen on accepting that there are other things worse than bears even while he confirms the presence of those mindless killing beasts.
As serious as he appears, his legs are shaking fairly relentlessly, thus shaking the screen steadily.]
Who do you work for? And if it's not God, tell them this means war.
Reply
I work for the highest bidder. You can think of me as a jack of *ALL* trades.
[He doesn't even have to try too hard to make his words have a dark undertone]
Reply
You, sir, should be ashamed. And terrified- for there is a man incapable of dying rushing to my rescue. [Perhaps a bit of a lie. He then furrow his brows.] Are you wearing a collar?
Reply
Oi, what the hell kinda stupid shit are ya spewin'? This ain't yer world, nobody's kidnapped ya, wants anythin' from ya, or even knows who the fuck ya are.
This place's called Kannagara, an' the part of Kannagara yer in is called Himorogi. An' nothin' dies in Himorogi so ya can shut the fuck up about the damn bears.
Reply
Look, maybe you believe that romantic humbo-jump, but this isn't France, so we need to live in the real world. [Voice softens.] It's natural for people to die. Fortunately, you are right that we continue living in a sense- but I'm sure you know where this is going.
Reply
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