[ . . . The vision (dream; that boy stated that these broadcasts were dreams) has the feel of summer days, summer nights of hot sake and the ripe moon glowing on the sakura leaves. Once, a lifetime before, Itachi had seen young couples like this in Konoha. Sweet-looking, well-matched couples with ghosts of smiles touching the corners of their lips. Walking and talking together, as he had sat alone, reviewing the contents of his next mission.
Itachi had been betrothed, once. She had worn her hair long, tied up in elaborate shapes and fastened with purple ribbons; her eyes were the colour of cinnamon, and she smelled faintly of flour underneath her perfume. He was thirteen years old; his family had selected the match, had chosen for him, and had his life been different, had his life been different, could this ever have been him?
Sitting with another human being, sharing the love of another human being, finding understanding even in the absence of communication -- even without words. I could have done this, Itachi lies to himself,
( ... )
[He has grown used to people he does not know or care to associate with approaching him after these dream broadcasts that invade and twist and take apart everything he holds dear and shows the open pages he's had under lock and key for so long. This incident is nothing new. It's routine.
But lately, he has not felt like himself. Before he might have ignored this stranger, this man or boy or brat because that's all these people turn out to be and moved on. The topic of discussion has always been one that tore desperately at his walls and threatened to bring him to his knees in the past. Now he sees him, hears his words and does not think this man is a fool for bothering to respond when there are probably so many others who've seen it, who've experienced it and ignored it.
... a difficult negotiation.Yes. It really was. It was his family, it was the division, it was pride and worry and death and helplessness that kept anything from being happy, that separated him from her. To shuffle between his roles, to maintain his pride for the
( ... )
[ Need? Interesting phraseology; Itachi could question the choice of words, but he will not, because he thinks he may understand. Need: A warrior has no need for a personal life. This is the truth. It is a hindrance. He could have performed his mission, if not for Sasuke; if not for Sasuke, then what? Then nothing. Endless missions. Feeling nothing. A shinobi must be the master of his own emotions; to cleave to loved ones above the importance of duty: that is the ultimate folly, the ultimate weakness, and if it is so, then is Itachi not the worst of shinobi?
But he could know this, could believe as much, intellectually: could write it down on paper, as if it were fact, but he knows, he knows he would sacrifice everything, all of the world, if only to see Sasuke smile. He, who has given Sasuke nothing besides pain. He, who knows nothing besides how to hurt. He does not know the first thing about how to improve one's life, would not be one to offer advice or suggestions to anyone, and certainly not like a stranger like this man --
( ... )
[An apology. He offers an apology after he's already intruded.
Few, if any, had offered him one. It's this place, a place lacking manners, a place lacking protocol or even logic that after (weeks? months?) of being here, there is the occasional person who offers the manners he hasn't heard in so very long.
He had come to believe that humans were simply rude. He'd never spent a long period of time around them, really.
But a committed man? Renji would have told him that his duties didn't need to be taken so seriously. Ukitake might have told him that it's pleasant to take some time away from them, that this dream is more of a reminder of that and he should heed the advice that perhaps his mind is giving him.
He offers no such explanation, no words that would prove to only be an irritant. It's an explanation of understanding. Renji and Ukitake both knew duty, but neither one seemed to understand his duty or the reason for taking it so seriously.]
If I considered it a bother, I wouldn't have responded to you.
She watches intently. After all, it was her who wanted to know more about her sister; the sister she resented. She knows she shouldn't and she knows why she was abandoned, but...
Family members do not abandon each other.
So she watches with the intent of knowing more about her sister. Byakuya let her on to some things about Hisana, but she wanted to know more. Rukia was curious about this person who she called her sister. Especially after that dream that shook her. She met her sister in her dream, in what seemed to be death, but all she knew was her face from the memorial for her. That was the only physical aspect that Rukia knew. She didn't know how kind or soft her sister's words were. All of them were hearsay. But that's it. Nothing else.
Nii-sama has a special place.
The adopted sister thinks about that for a moment.
That place is with her.This fact is more than obvious, but Rukia's processing everything
( ... )
[Iruka watches the dream over and over again, feel the dream over and over again. It is familiar to him, how duty and so many things prevent emotions from rising to the surface. It is familiar to him, the feeling of being so, so happy and content and comfortable and being so at home when it's just sitting beside the one person you hold dear. Just watching them ...
Byakuya and his ... his wife.
Iruka can see the devotion as clear as crystal. The love ...
But it's very late and he's choking on too many things that he cannot swallow. It's very late and nearly midnight when he sees this, with the weight of new things on his mind, on his shoulders. When he is mentally exhausted and sitting quietly under the window of his room, unable to sleep, a cup of cold tea forgotten.
It's such a beautiful dream ...
It feels so wonderful ...
It's so comforting ...
And it saddens Iruka so, so much that salt starts to layer around the rim of his eyes. They fall quietly as he watches it again and again and again
( ... )
Comments 8
[ . . . The vision (dream; that boy stated that these broadcasts were dreams) has the feel of summer days, summer nights of hot sake and the ripe moon glowing on the sakura leaves. Once, a lifetime before, Itachi had seen young couples like this in Konoha. Sweet-looking, well-matched couples with ghosts of smiles touching the corners of their lips. Walking and talking together, as he had sat alone, reviewing the contents of his next mission.
Itachi had been betrothed, once. She had worn her hair long, tied up in elaborate shapes and fastened with purple ribbons; her eyes were the colour of cinnamon, and she smelled faintly of flour underneath her perfume. He was thirteen years old; his family had selected the match, had chosen for him, and had his life been different, had his life been different, could this ever have been him?
Sitting with another human being, sharing the love of another human being, finding understanding even in the absence of communication -- even without words. I could have done this, Itachi lies to himself, ( ... )
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But lately, he has not felt like himself. Before he might have ignored this stranger, this man or boy or brat because that's all these people turn out to be and moved on. The topic of discussion has always been one that tore desperately at his walls and threatened to bring him to his knees in the past. Now he sees him, hears his words and does not think this man is a fool for bothering to respond when there are probably so many others who've seen it, who've experienced it and ignored it.
... a difficult negotiation.Yes. It really was. It was his family, it was the division, it was pride and worry and death and helplessness that kept anything from being happy, that separated him from her. To shuffle between his roles, to maintain his pride for the ( ... )
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[ Need? Interesting phraseology; Itachi could question the choice of words, but he will not, because he thinks he may understand. Need: A warrior has no need for a personal life. This is the truth. It is a hindrance. He could have performed his mission, if not for Sasuke; if not for Sasuke, then what? Then nothing. Endless missions. Feeling nothing. A shinobi must be the master of his own emotions; to cleave to loved ones above the importance of duty: that is the ultimate folly, the ultimate weakness, and if it is so, then is Itachi not the worst of shinobi?
But he could know this, could believe as much, intellectually: could write it down on paper, as if it were fact, but he knows, he knows he would sacrifice everything, all of the world, if only to see Sasuke smile. He, who has given Sasuke nothing besides pain. He, who knows nothing besides how to hurt. He does not know the first thing about how to improve one's life, would not be one to offer advice or suggestions to anyone, and certainly not like a stranger like this man -- ( ... )
Reply
Few, if any, had offered him one. It's this place, a place lacking manners, a place lacking protocol or even logic that after (weeks? months?) of being here, there is the occasional person who offers the manners he hasn't heard in so very long.
He had come to believe that humans were simply rude. He'd never spent a long period of time around them, really.
But a committed man? Renji would have told him that his duties didn't need to be taken so seriously. Ukitake might have told him that it's pleasant to take some time away from them, that this dream is more of a reminder of that and he should heed the advice that perhaps his mind is giving him.
He offers no such explanation, no words that would prove to only be an irritant. It's an explanation of understanding. Renji and Ukitake both knew duty, but neither one seemed to understand his duty or the reason for taking it so seriously.]
If I considered it a bother, I wouldn't have responded to you.
[He is proud, far too ( ... )
Reply
Family members do not abandon each other.
So she watches with the intent of knowing more about her sister. Byakuya let her on to some things about Hisana, but she wanted to know more. Rukia was curious about this person who she called her sister. Especially after that dream that shook her. She met her sister in her dream, in what seemed to be death, but all she knew was her face from the memorial for her. That was the only physical aspect that Rukia knew. She didn't know how kind or soft her sister's words were. All of them were hearsay. But that's it. Nothing else.
Nii-sama has a special place.
The adopted sister thinks about that for a moment.
That place is with her.This fact is more than obvious, but Rukia's processing everything ( ... )
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Byakuya and his ... his wife.
Iruka can see the devotion as clear as crystal. The love ...
But it's very late and he's choking on too many things that he cannot swallow. It's very late and nearly midnight when he sees this, with the weight of new things on his mind, on his shoulders. When he is mentally exhausted and sitting quietly under the window of his room, unable to sleep, a cup of cold tea forgotten.
It's such a beautiful dream ...
It feels so wonderful ...
It's so comforting ...
And it saddens Iruka so, so much that salt starts to layer around the rim of his eyes. They fall quietly as he watches it again and again and again ( ... )
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It returns presently.]
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