[Reaction -> Video | Private]misfortunesfoolNovember 29 2011, 21:27:55 UTC
[For once, Yuui wasn't sleeping when the dream hits - he's sitting in his living room, diligently inking the next set of spellbooks for Fai to study. Everyone else, however, has long since retired for the evening and all he can do is hope Fai doesn't see such a dream.
Because even without touching the Hitomi, he understands that all too well.
Being trapped in a world where you were the only living soul. Surrounded by a vast nothing. The way the silence permeates deep within you so that you can feel the ache down into the marrow, until you want to scream just to hear the sound of humanity, even if that sound is the sound of a budding insanity...
Yuui knows that, all too well.
Which is why, after several long moments of simply trying to draw slow, steady breathed, he taps a shaky knuckle against the Hitomi a few times, quick and automatic.]
...If you call for me, I'll answer. So long as I'm here, I'll always answer.
[video | private]misfortunesfoolNovember 30 2011, 17:01:41 UTC
[That... Yuui doesn't like the sound of that. Because that sounds like Matt did something intentional... which would explain the mark on his forehead too.
His expression shifts to one of concern as he taps his head in the same spot.]
...what did you do, Matt? And does that hurt? It looks almost like a seal.
[Video/Private]withoutanidolNovember 30 2011, 18:49:19 UTC
The fuck, Matt?
[Mello's concern might be blunt, heavy-handed, and come off as annoyance, but its there, and the hell is he supposed to say about a giant fucking mark on his friend's face? ]
[Elfangor is already emotionally exhausted from dealing with Tobias' crisis, so when that is finally over, all he wants to do is crawl back into bed with Matt.
He is on his way to their room when he is checking through the network, and sees-- oh, god. A chill sweeps through him, and he stands there, frozen in the hallway as he watches the dream. He knows it must be a recording, not a live broadcast, because the sensations from the dream do not pass to him. But he can feel it all the same, the unbearable weight of that fear, because it lurks deep within himself as well. Shoved away to dark corners, not allowing himself to think on it because to do so would be all but paralyzing, but still there, still something he hopes against with all that he is. And when he sees the blood, his own blood, he swears he can feel it rushing away from him, out of him again, leaves him dizzy with a sickening panic
( ... )
[Something cracks inside him when he hears his real name, even though Matt knows, knew all along, Elfangor was still here, checked his Hitomi the second he woke up alone, still gripped by the woozy weakness of panic just past, until he remembered half-waking before, when Elfangor left.
He knows it's silly, he really does, but the dream still feels so immediate. He feels like he came so close to losing them all.
He sits up halfway in the bed, and just holds his arms out.]
[The distress evident on Matt's face, the vulnerability in that simple gesture of need, it breaks Elfangor's heart. Before he can even think to move, he's already across the room, pulling Matt into his arms as he climbs into bed beside him. Unshed tears burn his eyes, constricting his throat, as he tightens his arms around Matt.]
< Oh baby, I'm so sorry, I should have been here-- It's okay, you're okay, I'm still here. We're still here... >
[Elfangor strokes his fingers through Matt's hair, wanting nothing more than to soothe him, to chase away any lingering fears.]
[He does, but he still clings, unashamedly, nuzzling his face against Elfangor's neck, breathing in his scent, familiar and comforting. The relief is overwhelming, and brings the tears Matt's fought until now surging back.]
The dream gives him some weird feeling of nostalgia. He's not fully sure what to make of it, aside from knowing he doesn't like it. But... it's also something he knows more from present, from all kinds of moments where he hasn't actually really been alone, just... felt like it.
But this is a kind of fear he can recognise, too. Not necessarily being here, but just... being left.
And he can't even say it's a stupid fear, but...]
The chances of all of us disappearing at once I think is rather slim...
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Um. Hi?
[Matt fired up a cigarette the second he was awake, and put his goggles on, for once.]
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Umm... hi.
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Because even without touching the Hitomi, he understands that all too well.
Being trapped in a world where you were the only living soul. Surrounded by a vast nothing. The way the silence permeates deep within you so that you can feel the ache down into the marrow, until you want to scream just to hear the sound of humanity, even if that sound is the sound of a budding insanity...
Yuui knows that, all too well.
Which is why, after several long moments of simply trying to draw slow, steady breathed, he taps a shaky knuckle against the Hitomi a few times, quick and automatic.]
...If you call for me, I'll answer. So long as I'm here, I'll always answer.
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Thanks, Yuui. Me too, y'know, and that goes for you and Fai.
I wasn't supposed to have any nightmares.
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His expression shifts to one of concern as he taps his head in the same spot.]
...what did you do, Matt? And does that hurt? It looks almost like a seal.
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[He touches his forehead in that spot, then tries to see his reflection in the Hitomi screen.]
How the hell did that even--?
I took this serum thing. It was supposed to bring good dreams.
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[Mello's concern might be blunt, heavy-handed, and come off as annoyance, but its there, and the hell is he supposed to say about a giant fucking mark on his friend's face? ]
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[Now that he knows the mark's there, he's trying to make his bangs cover it, but they won't lie flat.]
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[He's less annoyed at Mello than at himself for getting taken in by that guy. Sweet dreams, his ass.]
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He is on his way to their room when he is checking through the network, and sees-- oh, god. A chill sweeps through him, and he stands there, frozen in the hallway as he watches the dream. He knows it must be a recording, not a live broadcast, because the sensations from the dream do not pass to him. But he can feel it all the same, the unbearable weight of that fear, because it lurks deep within himself as well. Shoved away to dark corners, not allowing himself to think on it because to do so would be all but paralyzing, but still there, still something he hopes against with all that he is. And when he sees the blood, his own blood, he swears he can feel it rushing away from him, out of him again, leaves him dizzy with a sickening panic ( ... )
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He knows it's silly, he really does, but the dream still feels so immediate. He feels like he came so close to losing them all.
He sits up halfway in the bed, and just holds his arms out.]
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< Oh baby, I'm so sorry, I should have been here-- It's okay, you're okay, I'm still here. We're still here... >
[Elfangor strokes his fingers through Matt's hair, wanting nothing more than to soothe him, to chase away any lingering fears.]
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[He does, but he still clings, unashamedly, nuzzling his face against Elfangor's neck, breathing in his scent, familiar and comforting. The relief is overwhelming, and brings the tears Matt's fought until now surging back.]
I can't lose you... not ever.
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The dream gives him some weird feeling of nostalgia. He's not fully sure what to make of it, aside from knowing he doesn't like it. But... it's also something he knows more from present, from all kinds of moments where he hasn't actually really been alone, just... felt like it.
But this is a kind of fear he can recognise, too. Not necessarily being here, but just... being left.
And he can't even say it's a stupid fear, but...]
The chances of all of us disappearing at once I think is rather slim...
[That much, he can give, he thinks.]
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[He's smoking again (or still).]
Doesn't exactly take a degree in psych to know what that one meant. I'm a little disappointed in my subconscious for being so unsubtle.
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The subconscious tends t'do that for ya, here. It's annoying, yeah.
If only you could make irrational fears go away. There are quite a lot of more important things to worry about.
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Or the ones that're rational, but you can't do anything about.
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