Aussie Boytoys
So, I went on an actual date with an actual guy this Monday.
I'd met him this past Saturday at a BBQ with some girls I'd met over Easter. I helped him with the grill. Apparently he was quite taken with me- he took me home and tried to get me to go back to his place for coffee... and then called me the next morning. And when I didn't answer, called me again that afternoon. Anyway, I'd planned to go to Magnetic (the island off the coast) on Monday, and I figured having a local with me wouldn't hurt... plus he has a car and I needed a ride. (The cougar bikini snares its next prey.)
We took the ferry out, he bought a pitcher of beer, I had about a glass and a half (which isn't enough to incapacitate me) and then he showed me this bay on the island that you have to walk to a bit, and we had the place to ourselves, and we hung out there, swam, climbed the rocks, etc.
The thing is, I had been planning on hiking, so I hadn't brought my suit... and he was clearly upset that he wasn't going to get to see me in a bikini again (he offered to buy me one there.) Not sketchily so, but clearly me in a bikini was a dealmaker. He kept asking why I hadn't brought mine, and I kept telling him "I wanted to go hiking" as in "hint, any good trails around here? Can we check them out?" I didn't mind swimming, though. The beach was pretty beautiful.
So we get to this beach, we've got it to oursevles... so he takes off his pants and goes skinny dipping. D-: Of course, I'm pretty chill, and I ended up taking off my shirt, 'cause it wasn't holding up in saltwater.
(Tip: semi-skinny dipping in the ocean is amazing. I highly recommend it).
In retrospect, it was probably a major warning sign that the guy thought taking his pants off on a first date was acceptable. I mean, even though I was pretending otherwise, I knew it was a date. He bloody well knew it. I told him to back off when he tried to grope me w/out pants, and he did. It wasn't really sketchy until I tried to write it down. (For the record, 'cause I know you worry, I was never far enough from human contact that I couldn't have gotten away from him if I'd wanted to. It wasn't an issue, but I'm at least slightly aware of my surroundings w/ strange guys).
We talked a while, and that was pretty good, and we made out a little waiting for the back ferry, which was... decent. All in all, it was a pretty Epic kinda day, and if you want to be jealous, that's ok, I understand.
But first, several slightly-rambly thoughts on relationships:
I'm not a fan of kissing. Like, really. It's slimy and gross. Disney lied to me again. I don't really know what I was expecting in all my elaborate hormone-induced romantic fantasies, but reality does not live up. Also, I don't know why the fuck men seem to think that frenching is ok on a first kiss, but honestly. (I'm ok with non-mouth-to-mouth kissing, ironically enough. I dunno, I'm just a mess).
Body language: Have I missed yet another thing in my long repetoire of Kallie-isn't-quite-up-to-par-socially? I should think that clamping ones' lips shut when tongue approaches would be the ideal way of physically communicating "No tongue," but it never seems to get through, which of course makes me want to french them even less. In general, the minute things get physical with a guy I'm not into (which is the only time things get physical), I freeze up. This guy told me I was too tense and needed to relax... If I were a guy and when I touched a girl she froze, I'd assume she wasn't feelin' it. Apparently I'm the only one.
The fact is, I start to overthink things when the touching starts. Usually before, in fact. It makes dating nerve-wracking, but that's just me being neurotic. I'm hoping that it's because I've never gone on a date with a guy that I've honestly been really attracted to. When I'm not into it, I spend a lot of time wondering how far I should let it go to add to my general fund of dating experience and half-hoping that this time maybe I'll actually just enjoy fooling around. Of course, this thing just moved way too fast for me. Let's just face it, I'm not the kind of girl who can make out with a guy she's known for a grand total of three days. It's nothing to do with experience or self-confidence. I would just rather get to know someone beforehand and that's how it is.
This guy met me through a girl we both know who's really outgoing and a little bit on the prowl for an "Aussie boytoy" as she puts it, and I think he assumed that I would be looking for a physical relationship as well. He was super nice, and I had a good time with him, in spite of my worrying about his making the inevitable move. It just didn't occur to him that I wasn't the type to make out with random guys.
Clearly I'm not going to go out with him again. But dammit, now I have to tell him. If he had been a creep, I'd be ok with it, but he's a nice guy whose only flaw is not possessing something that I can't quantify but (like hard-core pornography) will hopefully know when I see it.
I hate breaking nice guys' hearts, but I'd have to revoke my own Woman Card if I kept dating a guy because I was too nice to break up with him.
I tried to explain to the girl who introduced us why I wasn't going to keep seeing him. Bleh. I said "I dunno, I'm not that into him." and she said "Well, yeah, but you can keep him as an Aussie boytoy." Like, seriously? She's a really nice girl, but I can't seem to get through to her that I'm not a partier.
Just another brief self-realization: I like sex... in theory. We'll leave that bit alone, but... I like flirting, even if I'm bad at it. I like having guys notice that I'm attractive. I like attention. But I really don't want it to get much further than that. I guess that makes me a cocktease, but FUCK YOU, that's just another insult dreamed up by The Man to keep women from taking control of their own sexuality.
I'd rather just do the friends -> friends with benefits thing.
I think I'm looking for someone I argue with. Sounds like a bad cliche. *sigh* Oh well. I need to remind myself of my mediocre romantic encounters whenever I start complaining that I have no one to flirt with.
I'd met him this past Saturday at a BBQ with some girls I'd met over Easter. I helped him with the grill. Apparently he was quite taken with me- he took me home and tried to get me to go back to his place for coffee... and then called me the next morning. And when I didn't answer, called me again that afternoon. Anyway, I'd planned to go to Magnetic (the island off the coast) on Monday, and I figured having a local with me wouldn't hurt... plus he has a car and I needed a ride. (The cougar bikini snares its next prey.)
We took the ferry out, he bought a pitcher of beer, I had about a glass and a half (which isn't enough to incapacitate me) and then he showed me this bay on the island that you have to walk to a bit, and we had the place to ourselves, and we hung out there, swam, climbed the rocks, etc.
The thing is, I had been planning on hiking, so I hadn't brought my suit... and he was clearly upset that he wasn't going to get to see me in a bikini again (he offered to buy me one there.) Not sketchily so, but clearly me in a bikini was a dealmaker. He kept asking why I hadn't brought mine, and I kept telling him "I wanted to go hiking" as in "hint, any good trails around here? Can we check them out?" I didn't mind swimming, though. The beach was pretty beautiful.
So we get to this beach, we've got it to oursevles... so he takes off his pants and goes skinny dipping. D-: Of course, I'm pretty chill, and I ended up taking off my shirt, 'cause it wasn't holding up in saltwater.
(Tip: semi-skinny dipping in the ocean is amazing. I highly recommend it).
In retrospect, it was probably a major warning sign that the guy thought taking his pants off on a first date was acceptable. I mean, even though I was pretending otherwise, I knew it was a date. He bloody well knew it. I told him to back off when he tried to grope me w/out pants, and he did. It wasn't really sketchy until I tried to write it down. (For the record, 'cause I know you worry, I was never far enough from human contact that I couldn't have gotten away from him if I'd wanted to. It wasn't an issue, but I'm at least slightly aware of my surroundings w/ strange guys).
We talked a while, and that was pretty good, and we made out a little waiting for the back ferry, which was... decent. All in all, it was a pretty Epic kinda day, and if you want to be jealous, that's ok, I understand.
But first, several slightly-rambly thoughts on relationships:
I'm not a fan of kissing. Like, really. It's slimy and gross. Disney lied to me again. I don't really know what I was expecting in all my elaborate hormone-induced romantic fantasies, but reality does not live up. Also, I don't know why the fuck men seem to think that frenching is ok on a first kiss, but honestly. (I'm ok with non-mouth-to-mouth kissing, ironically enough. I dunno, I'm just a mess).
Body language: Have I missed yet another thing in my long repetoire of Kallie-isn't-quite-up-to-par-socially? I should think that clamping ones' lips shut when tongue approaches would be the ideal way of physically communicating "No tongue," but it never seems to get through, which of course makes me want to french them even less. In general, the minute things get physical with a guy I'm not into (which is the only time things get physical), I freeze up. This guy told me I was too tense and needed to relax... If I were a guy and when I touched a girl she froze, I'd assume she wasn't feelin' it. Apparently I'm the only one.
The fact is, I start to overthink things when the touching starts. Usually before, in fact. It makes dating nerve-wracking, but that's just me being neurotic. I'm hoping that it's because I've never gone on a date with a guy that I've honestly been really attracted to. When I'm not into it, I spend a lot of time wondering how far I should let it go to add to my general fund of dating experience and half-hoping that this time maybe I'll actually just enjoy fooling around. Of course, this thing just moved way too fast for me. Let's just face it, I'm not the kind of girl who can make out with a guy she's known for a grand total of three days. It's nothing to do with experience or self-confidence. I would just rather get to know someone beforehand and that's how it is.
This guy met me through a girl we both know who's really outgoing and a little bit on the prowl for an "Aussie boytoy" as she puts it, and I think he assumed that I would be looking for a physical relationship as well. He was super nice, and I had a good time with him, in spite of my worrying about his making the inevitable move. It just didn't occur to him that I wasn't the type to make out with random guys.
Clearly I'm not going to go out with him again. But dammit, now I have to tell him. If he had been a creep, I'd be ok with it, but he's a nice guy whose only flaw is not possessing something that I can't quantify but (like hard-core pornography) will hopefully know when I see it.
I hate breaking nice guys' hearts, but I'd have to revoke my own Woman Card if I kept dating a guy because I was too nice to break up with him.
I tried to explain to the girl who introduced us why I wasn't going to keep seeing him. Bleh. I said "I dunno, I'm not that into him." and she said "Well, yeah, but you can keep him as an Aussie boytoy." Like, seriously? She's a really nice girl, but I can't seem to get through to her that I'm not a partier.
Just another brief self-realization: I like sex... in theory. We'll leave that bit alone, but... I like flirting, even if I'm bad at it. I like having guys notice that I'm attractive. I like attention. But I really don't want it to get much further than that. I guess that makes me a cocktease, but FUCK YOU, that's just another insult dreamed up by The Man to keep women from taking control of their own sexuality.
I'd rather just do the friends -> friends with benefits thing.
I think I'm looking for someone I argue with. Sounds like a bad cliche. *sigh* Oh well. I need to remind myself of my mediocre romantic encounters whenever I start complaining that I have no one to flirt with.