[fic] Cruel Intentions: Retribution Three

Jan 11, 2011 15:12

Title: Retribution Three
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Major angst + Tragedy
Characters: Fei Long, Alexei, Yoh
Spoiler: Spoiler for NT arc
Disclaimer: All characters belong to YA sensei.
Beta: angel0399
Previous Chapters: On the side bar of my lj kajornwan

TRANSLATIONS UPDATE: CI (first arc) is now being translated into Polish by yoan_chan *hugs*. The first chapter is finished ( Read more... )

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Comments 76

Darling, you are pure evil nikkita_maldita January 11 2011, 17:13:48 UTC
All that Alexei-goodness coupled with the warning above should’ve blared big red signs on my head that Alexei is going to die! Woman, have you any idea how much feeling I’ve already invested on Alexei? Especially after this and the first two chapters of Retribution! I was already welcoming the idea of him ending up with Feilong instead of Mikhail (Much as I love Mik, I can’t help but love Alexei too, he’s just too adorably crude and blunt it should be illegal ( ... )

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Re: Darling, you are pure evil kajornwan January 12 2011, 04:28:16 UTC
I'm so sorry T_T but this is exactly the response that I wanted from writing this arc. To tell you the truth, I have many times thought about giving Alexei x Fei a go for a brief period, like in a real relationship, where Fei would be using him as a substitute, and Alexei would end up hurting himself much more than he had bargained for, meanwhile Mikhail would fall even further into his drug abuse. oh the delicious love triangle! But this is about Fei Long's journey to find closure. So I must stay on course ^^! But even as I type this, man I ITCH!!!! If I didn't have to work I'll write 3 versions of this!

he’s just too adorably crude and blunt it should be illegal!)You're very right, I especially love his bluntness. I wanted him to be despicable but honestly and bluntly despicable which makes a charming man and villain to me. Someone who gets out there and say, "hey I don't love you yet but I want to have sex with you anyway. What's so wrong with that?" He's very flattering in a sense and very adorable in his childish ways. I love ( ... )

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Re: Darling, you are pure evil nikkita_maldita January 13 2011, 15:32:13 UTC
oh well at least i was able to give a reaction you want. But i seriously wish that you had given Fei and Alexei to be together even for just a moment.Hm, a back story perhaps? A love trriangle will surely be delectable.:D Darling, the two version could always come later, you can write them too. (i would then be one happy girl)

And who could possibly hate Alexei? His behavior maybe despicable at times but that makes him cute and lovable. There's something about younger spoiled brothers - especially if they know it - that begs to be adored,no?

Ooooh, i cant wait for the next chapter! No, you're a wonderful writer. You never fail to put your readers on edge!You betcha! I'd be with you tillthe end!

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Re: Darling, you are pure evil kajornwan January 14 2011, 05:43:27 UTC
Back story is very probable, considering that I still want to write him badly. Or I might just write another version altogether.

especially if they know it
I think you said it perfectly. Especially if they know it! There's a difference between an ignorant spoiled brat, and one that is proudly spoiled XDBut a lot of ppl do hate Alexei, for real.

Thanks again for the encouragement. I shall try!^^!

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Luv this chapter!!!!! Rest in Peace Alexei - we will miss you. nekomurasaki January 12 2011, 02:40:42 UTC
Damn! That was a good read.... I will miss Alexei.... during the first few chapters of CI I really didn't like him... he seemed shallow and fickle. You gave us a different side to him - too bad he is not coming back. Bravo on this chappie and keep them coming!!!

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Re: Luv this chapter!!!!! Rest in Peace Alexei - we will miss you. kajornwan January 12 2011, 04:33:49 UTC
It was? *phew* thank you. It wasn't easy for me to murder Alexei. I've always seen him like this from the beginning - a bastard, but one that can also be adorable. I'll miss writing him a lot (especially when I had so many Alexei x Fei in my head that has never been written.)

Thanks again for commenting and I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

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Re: Luv this chapter!!!!! Rest in Peace Alexei - we will miss you. kajornwan January 14 2011, 05:53:24 UTC
Why shoot you? Mikhail IS shallow and fickle in attitude, and that's exactly why i love him! It's a compliment!

As for what Mikhail has to say to that..

Mik: Oh? Interesting *smirks*.

*gets bricked*

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saiyuki_win January 12 2011, 06:57:52 UTC
Incoherence warning!

Too soon! To lose Alexei this soon! Argh!

I understand Fei will be hunting someone down soon? I see this as something that drives Fei. I see Alexei as someone really important to Fei, nothing like Mik's place in his heart but important nonetheless. Which is why he doesn't want to jeopardize whatever friendship/relationship he has with Alex by sleeping with him. It's a stronger Fei i see this time compared to the last chapter. Go Fei! Just something to set him off.

This is totally unexpected. It's good. A little sudden though. Well, that attack was. sudden.

With that said. I love the fact that Yoh is back. Yohhh!! <3
...
wait.
you're not killing Yoh too right? DLol. I couldn't get the image of a naked Fei running around and scolding “Son of a bitch!”. I have no idea whyyy ( ... )

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saiyuki_win January 12 2011, 07:15:30 UTC
Oh and for a moment i thought that it was Mik who tried to destroy the penthouse after knowing that Fei and Alex got it back. o_o

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kajornwan January 12 2011, 08:35:00 UTC
LOL wouldn't that be something. MIK: "DIE both of you, DIE!!!"

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kajornwan January 12 2011, 08:33:01 UTC
To tell you the truth, half of me is screaming exactly that "Too soon!!" I had so much planned for Alexei and he was suppose to be there until the very end as both cupid and Fei Long's savior in many ways. But muse will not have it and she wants to kill Alexei, for the sake of other, possibly and hopefully better, plot...And here I am, banging my head on the keyboard thinking 'But I WANT to write that scene when Alexei gives Mikhail and Yoh (who are at each other's throat) a lecture (at one point in another Retribution that is now AU)!!! *cries*' or THAT scene when the brothers really fight over Fei!!! *cries some more*. So yes, I would LOVE to do fake death and revival...but I can't.

I understand Fei will be hunting someone down soon?
Well, Alexei is important to Fei, but more than this Alexei is most important to Mikhail. Fei Long is, after all, someone who would do anything for someone he loves - when he realizes that he loves.

I love the fact that Yoh is back. Yohhh!! <3 Oh, you're a Yoh x Fei? *glares* Just kidding. I missed ( ... )

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char_comet January 12 2011, 07:16:58 UTC
I forgot to ask you about the Love Key: did you especially give it the meaning of it saving someway Fei Long's life since he was leening down to pick it up when the helicopter arrived?

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kajornwan January 12 2011, 08:01:18 UTC
I love you for being the only one to pick that up! ^_^ Yes exactly.

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char_comet January 12 2011, 10:40:26 UTC
Actually I soon thought about it but I wasn't sure if I read that Fei Long was kneeling down just before the helicopter arrived (and then it had the meaning of it saving his life) or that Fei knelt to pick it up just after the helicopter started the attack and then it had another meaning (that is he soon thought to have back with him the most precious thing there around ^_-)
So I had to re-read it ^_^

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angel0399 January 13 2011, 06:23:45 UTC
When I first read through it, I took it as he saved the pendant before finding cover for himself. He didn't want it destroyed and therefore, risked to grab it with probably seconds to spare. Amazing that both of them are so stubborn and are trying to cut all ties, yet, they're still holding onto something that still connects them.

Well, for Fei, 2 things if you wanna include the penthouse, even though it looks like swiss cheese now...

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(The comment has been removed)

kajornwan January 14 2011, 06:19:41 UTC
LOL I'm sorry but I hope you're feeling better now. I'm glad you like the chapter. It was difficult to write and while on it I wished you could have done it for me.

Oh yes, Yoh, he just came back from fishing and he's here for a while (though I must say I can't guarantee anything. I had planned for Alexei to be alive to the end, one day muse just decided to kill him T_T)

P.S. LMAO You just had to ask!! Wouldn't that be a treat to Yoh if Fei was naked? XD
Yoh: Oh *_* NAked Fei! Bingo! *gets shot*

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