(for everyone) My doll
Title: My doll
Pairings: Kai/D.O
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,506
Warnings: incest
Summary: Kyungsoo was Jongin’s favourite doll.
Today was his special day with five wax candles placed atop an elaborately decorated cake fringed with dark chocolate with other delicious sweets on a long table in the dining area. Jongin’s body was slipped into a suit which itched all over and later on into the night, he was pushed into a crowd where everyone were towers to his small body.
Every time a party was held in the Kim household he couldn’t play with anyone because the girls only gave him snooty looks and the boys felt they were more mature than him (even though Jongin could see them trading robot cards in the corner). They all ignored him when he showed them his toys, and so he only waddled to the food and walked back to his seat on the table. Sometimes he made faces on his plate, but other times he day dreamed about the day he would get to talk about the stories he thought of and maybe even draw with that someone too. It made him feel sad whenever he saw television shows with boys playing with their friends, so he always insisted on switching it off.
He really liked the toys which the guests gave, but he scrunched his face when he saw the plastic dolls with big eyelashes. He always felt a bit scared of them. It was only when his mum started staying home more, and started talking to herself that he had more fun.
When Jongin’s mum said to talk to her tummy, he pursed his lips and felt really confused. Mum was being strange. Even so, he clambered up the really big bed with fluffy blankets and shuffled close to his mum. He leaned over and said, “Hello.” He pressed his ear to her tummy but heard nothing.
“Keep talking, Jongin,” his mum smiled down at him.
“But no one’s talking back to me,” Jongin frowned.
“He’ll listen to everything you say, Jongin,” she smoothed down his hair with the palm of her hand, just like she did whenever he ran up to her when he felt really lonely. “Go on.”
“Okay,” Jongin said unsure, flicking his eyes back to the slight bump.
He takes a big breath in, just like his dad does before talking. “Today, I woke up and said good morning to cat. After I went downstairs and I was able to get the cereal box! I’m getting taller!”
Day in, day out Jongin ran inside the room to sit by his mum’s side and talked to ‘him’ - whoever him is. Some days he held up the green drawing he drew of cat and told him stories he read in his picture books. It was a lot, a lot of days later when his mum disappeared and took with her his only friend.
Jongin was sad the whole week and only came out of his room to eat potatoes and chocolate. His mum came back home with a smile, as if she didn’t realize how sad Jongin was and her ultimate betrayal. Just before he was going to run back to his room, he heard a loud noise come from her chest. He jumped up on the white couch and peered over. There he saw him.
Out of all the dolls Jongin ever saw, Jongin liked the one with the large black eyes in front of him.
The doll was not like cat or like duck. No, he moved and wriggled around when Jongin tickled him. (Jongin found that he could bring out the loudest squeal when he made little circles on his light brown nipples.) He figured that he would never be able to talk to his mum’s bump which mysteriously disappeared when she came back with the little doll.
Mum kept referring to the doll as Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo was Jongin’s favourite doll.
As Jongin grew out of drawing cat and telling stories about his height growth, Kyungsoo also grew out of his blue onesies and suckling on his green dummy.
Through the years of high school which strung Kyungsoo up and down, Jongin was a source of warmth in the otherwise cold he felt around him. (And unknowing to him, Jongin warmed himself staying beside Kyungsoo).
There was a particular moment which marked a change in how Kyungsoo viewed Jongin as only his brother. It that day where he had broken down because of the C he received in his semester exam. Kyungsoo knew it was stupid to feel like this but Jongin only closed him in his arms and let out endless strings of sentences to reassure him. That day it felt as if Jongin had used his words to untie the knots constricting the hurt he felt in his heart. It was also where Jongin not only healed the surface but penetrated through to every part of him.
It was the day where Kyungsoo knew that he felt something different. Something akin to a stronger affection to the lean figure he looked up to.
The years sped like a whirlwind, and Kyungsoo struggled to hold onto Jongin getting older and older. With a declare for independence from their parents, he moved out of their home and to the city with a friend. Kyungsoo remembers crying the day he left, but he does not want to hold onto that flashback especially when his mum told them Jongin was coming home this weekend.
“Hyung, how come you didn’t suffer this much in high school?” Kyungsoo whines, resting his head against his palm.
“I did. I just didn’t complain as much as you do,” Jongin smiles. His heart swells with a mix of joy and something else, seeing familiar textbooks splayed over the desk. He remembers absentmindedly drawing stick figures on the edge of the page when he didn’t want to do any of the exercises.
“All of it probably built up inside of you which is why you complain so much about going to lectures,” Kyungsoo teases.
“Maybe you won’t complain when you go to university next year,” Jongin laughs. “Are you done with your homework now?”
“Yes but I still need to revise chemistry,” Kyungsoo groans.
“Do it later, hyung wants to cuddle,” Jongin pats the space on top of the blue bed covers, next to him. He rolls to his side, smiling at Kyungsoo with his head resting on the fluffy white pillow.
“I’m already in my last year of high school,” Kyungsoo counters. “Too old already.”
“You’re still a baby boy as long as you’re younger than me,” Jongin pouts. He stretches out his legs, and pokes at Kyungsoo’s thighs with the ends of his toe.
“You’re such a stupid hyung,” Kyungsoo says, rising from his chair. His knees crinkle the covers as he crawls up to the space beside the lithe figure. Arms and legs wrap around his body, tugging him down to a warm embrace.
“Why did you make hyung wait for hours to cuddle with you?” Jongin frowns.
“I want to clear away all my homework for this weekend,” Kyungsoo says simply.
Jongin pauses. Then he smiles brightly. “Is it because you want to spend the weekend just with me?”
Kyungsoo can feel the warmth of a pink hue rising to his cheeks as he turns way his face from Jongin.
“My baby boy is too cute for me,” Jongin nuzzles his nose with Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo blushes even more at the closeness of their faces - with only a small breath between their lips.
“Why didn’t you come home earlier?” Kyungsoo says, trying to cover up the crack in his voice.
“Do you remember Jongdae, my roommate? He broke up with his boyfriend so if I left him alone in the apartment, who knows if I would even be able to breathe as soon as I walk through that door because of the stacks of ice cream containers stacked at the bench and nasty take out boxes all over the floor. I stayed back to make sure that he wouldn’t die from his own stink.”
“Did it have to be for that long?” Kyungsoo pouts.
“Did you miss me that much?” Jongin snuggles his nose close to his neck, breathing the fresh scent of his younger brother in. “Because I missed you while I was away.”
“I missed you too, hyung,” Kyungsoo’s heart started beating fast as he felt the small hairs of Jongin’s cheek brushing on his skin. It felt like the temperature all over his body heightened.
“You’re colouring so prettily today, Kyungsoo,” Jongin gazes at Kyungsoo, pulling back from the hollow of his neck. Jongin’s fingers graze the outline of the reddened areas, liking the feel of warmth under his cold fingertips.
“Hyung,” Kyungsoo plays with Jongin’s fingertips tracing on his face.
Jongin hums by his neck.
It’s time to say it to Jongin now or else he’ll probably be too scared to tell him and have to squash down his feelings again.
“I love you,” Kyungsoo spilled out. He was shocked. He thought he would have to squeeze the words out his throat, but it flowed easier than expected.
“I love you so so so so so so so much too,” Jongin smacks a kiss on his cheek. Looking up, he sees Jongin’s eyes bright and opened wide with an impish smile.
“No, not like that - just in a, not just but more of a-”
Kyungsoo saw the catch with confessing. The movies made it seem as if uttering those three words was the hardest part of this whole thing, but it was all wrong. It’s explaining why you said those words. His mouth feel sticky and dry, the thoughts in his head oozing piece by piece at the slow pace of dripping honey.
There weren't a lot of things which Kyungsoo could name about Jongin without becoming hesitant. There was the way he walked, talked, breathed, ate next to him. The way he became noticeably distant from some of his friends at school to be near him (that Chanyeol had even pulled him aside one day stating this fact excited because a senior was talking to him. Kyungsoo only rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the giddiness he felt being with Jongin).
There weren’t a lot of things that Kyungsoo didn't like about Jongin. He just liked Jongin the way he was, with his downright cheesy lines which should be taken down a notch to the way he treated Kyungsoo with upmost care. Not to mention how much more good looking Jongin became while growing up.
Kyungsoo loved Jongin because of the way he everything. (And the way he felt helpless and incoherent around him - grammar what grammar).
“Don’t need to rush, just take a deep breath in and out first,” Jongin smiled, encouragingly.
“I love you because of your everything - more than I should,” Kyungsoo says rapidly.
“Baby boy is so sweet,” Jongin squeezes around Kyungsoo’s sides and tugs him tighter in his embrace.
Kyungsoo makes an affronted noise.
“No, I love you like, like more than a brother should,” Kyungsoo says. At Jongin’s still thoroughly confused face, Kyungsoo groans.
He grabs the back of Jongin’s head and leans in close to his face. He sees the shocked look painted across his face and without second thoughts, he comes in closer and presses his lips against his.
Oh. Oh wow. It felt like he achieved everything he was building up to in just this one action of kissing Jongin. It felt so nice, like the cushion of Jongin’s cheek against his but even better.
“Is this a joke?”
Wait, what.
“Did someone dare you to do this at school or-?” Kyungsoo can feel Jongin loosen his arms around him.
Kyungsoo harrumphs. Insistently, he brings his face close and kisses him harder.
The second thoughts suddenly hit him and he pulls away. His cheeks colour and his eyes divert everywhere but at Jongin’s expression. Quickly, he climbs out of bed and continuously says ‘sorry’. Like a mantra to atone for the horrible fact that he just kissed his brother. A brother who you are not meant to confess and suddenly kiss in a bed.
He feels his legs buckle and suddenly he’s tipping on his side. Looking down, he sees Jongin’s legs around him. Looking up, he sees Jongin wearing a frazzled look on his face.
“Hyung loves Kyungsoo too,” Jongin says. He pulls Kyungsoo back up to his side and holds him on top of his chest, pressing their bodies together.
He brings his face close, and tugs his bottom lip into his mouth. His tongue enters and Kyungsoo moans in approval. Hands wander everywhere, and emotions whirl around the two. They kiss until Kyungsoo hits Jongin to let him breathe some more, and finally they break apart.
“When did this start?” Jongin asks.
“When you helped me that one time in my room,” Kyungsoo says. “But I think it might have always been there.”
“Kyungsoo,” Jongin moans, hearing this fact.
Jongin rolls him to his side. He slides one leg between Kyungsoo’s and another around his waist as if a possessive hold. Kyungsoo moans, and he tries to press as much of himself on Jongin’s body.
Jongin peppers kisses all along Kyungsoo’s cheek and along the column of his neck. Kyungsoo whimpers at the soft feel on his skin.
“You feel so soft and perfect underneath me Kyungsoo,” Jongin says, roaming his hands around his body.
Jongin colours Kyungsoo’s pale body with love and care. He peels open Kyungsoo with his fingers and mouth smoothing on his skin.
“Did you ever think of us?” Kyungsoo gasps at the feel of the skin against his.
“I may have, I may not have,” Jongin teases.
He unbuttons the stainless white uniform bearing a unicorn crest. Jongin thumbs the brown nipples and smiles at the high sounds emitting from the boy underneath him.
“You’re so sensitive in your nipples. It’s just like when we were younger,” Jongin coos.
Kyungsoo feels like smacking him against the chest for saying that, but it felt the ministrations on his body was turning his body into mush and felt like jelly with no strength left at all. In the air, musical sounds of gasps escaped his mouth and his spine felt like it was going to break soon with the number of times it felt like he bent too far.
”How do you feel about coming to live with me after you graduate high school this year?” Jongin asks.
“Just us?” Kyungsoo’s says, trying to process the words said.
“Baekhyun is planning to move so there’ll be a spare bedroom open for you.” Jongin sucks hard on his right nipple, and lightly bites it.
“Yes, I want to but I only want to sleep in the same room as you,” Kyungsoo says, wriggling underneath his body.
“Such a needy baby boy,” Jongin says, smiling against his nipple, before biting down on it again.
“Stop talking hyung. You suck at dirty talk,” Kyungsoo groans.
“You love my everything. You love my mouth,” Jongin says.
Pairings: Kai/D.O
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,506
Warnings: incest
Summary: Kyungsoo was Jongin’s favourite doll.
Today was his special day with five wax candles placed atop an elaborately decorated cake fringed with dark chocolate with other delicious sweets on a long table in the dining area. Jongin’s body was slipped into a suit which itched all over and later on into the night, he was pushed into a crowd where everyone were towers to his small body.
Every time a party was held in the Kim household he couldn’t play with anyone because the girls only gave him snooty looks and the boys felt they were more mature than him (even though Jongin could see them trading robot cards in the corner). They all ignored him when he showed them his toys, and so he only waddled to the food and walked back to his seat on the table. Sometimes he made faces on his plate, but other times he day dreamed about the day he would get to talk about the stories he thought of and maybe even draw with that someone too. It made him feel sad whenever he saw television shows with boys playing with their friends, so he always insisted on switching it off.
He really liked the toys which the guests gave, but he scrunched his face when he saw the plastic dolls with big eyelashes. He always felt a bit scared of them. It was only when his mum started staying home more, and started talking to herself that he had more fun.
When Jongin’s mum said to talk to her tummy, he pursed his lips and felt really confused. Mum was being strange. Even so, he clambered up the really big bed with fluffy blankets and shuffled close to his mum. He leaned over and said, “Hello.” He pressed his ear to her tummy but heard nothing.
“Keep talking, Jongin,” his mum smiled down at him.
“But no one’s talking back to me,” Jongin frowned.
“He’ll listen to everything you say, Jongin,” she smoothed down his hair with the palm of her hand, just like she did whenever he ran up to her when he felt really lonely. “Go on.”
“Okay,” Jongin said unsure, flicking his eyes back to the slight bump.
He takes a big breath in, just like his dad does before talking. “Today, I woke up and said good morning to cat. After I went downstairs and I was able to get the cereal box! I’m getting taller!”
Day in, day out Jongin ran inside the room to sit by his mum’s side and talked to ‘him’ - whoever him is. Some days he held up the green drawing he drew of cat and told him stories he read in his picture books. It was a lot, a lot of days later when his mum disappeared and took with her his only friend.
Jongin was sad the whole week and only came out of his room to eat potatoes and chocolate. His mum came back home with a smile, as if she didn’t realize how sad Jongin was and her ultimate betrayal. Just before he was going to run back to his room, he heard a loud noise come from her chest. He jumped up on the white couch and peered over. There he saw him.
Out of all the dolls Jongin ever saw, Jongin liked the one with the large black eyes in front of him.
The doll was not like cat or like duck. No, he moved and wriggled around when Jongin tickled him. (Jongin found that he could bring out the loudest squeal when he made little circles on his light brown nipples.) He figured that he would never be able to talk to his mum’s bump which mysteriously disappeared when she came back with the little doll.
Mum kept referring to the doll as Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo was Jongin’s favourite doll.
As Jongin grew out of drawing cat and telling stories about his height growth, Kyungsoo also grew out of his blue onesies and suckling on his green dummy.
Through the years of high school which strung Kyungsoo up and down, Jongin was a source of warmth in the otherwise cold he felt around him. (And unknowing to him, Jongin warmed himself staying beside Kyungsoo).
There was a particular moment which marked a change in how Kyungsoo viewed Jongin as only his brother. It that day where he had broken down because of the C he received in his semester exam. Kyungsoo knew it was stupid to feel like this but Jongin only closed him in his arms and let out endless strings of sentences to reassure him. That day it felt as if Jongin had used his words to untie the knots constricting the hurt he felt in his heart. It was also where Jongin not only healed the surface but penetrated through to every part of him.
It was the day where Kyungsoo knew that he felt something different. Something akin to a stronger affection to the lean figure he looked up to.
The years sped like a whirlwind, and Kyungsoo struggled to hold onto Jongin getting older and older. With a declare for independence from their parents, he moved out of their home and to the city with a friend. Kyungsoo remembers crying the day he left, but he does not want to hold onto that flashback especially when his mum told them Jongin was coming home this weekend.
“Hyung, how come you didn’t suffer this much in high school?” Kyungsoo whines, resting his head against his palm.
“I did. I just didn’t complain as much as you do,” Jongin smiles. His heart swells with a mix of joy and something else, seeing familiar textbooks splayed over the desk. He remembers absentmindedly drawing stick figures on the edge of the page when he didn’t want to do any of the exercises.
“All of it probably built up inside of you which is why you complain so much about going to lectures,” Kyungsoo teases.
“Maybe you won’t complain when you go to university next year,” Jongin laughs. “Are you done with your homework now?”
“Yes but I still need to revise chemistry,” Kyungsoo groans.
“Do it later, hyung wants to cuddle,” Jongin pats the space on top of the blue bed covers, next to him. He rolls to his side, smiling at Kyungsoo with his head resting on the fluffy white pillow.
“I’m already in my last year of high school,” Kyungsoo counters. “Too old already.”
“You’re still a baby boy as long as you’re younger than me,” Jongin pouts. He stretches out his legs, and pokes at Kyungsoo’s thighs with the ends of his toe.
“You’re such a stupid hyung,” Kyungsoo says, rising from his chair. His knees crinkle the covers as he crawls up to the space beside the lithe figure. Arms and legs wrap around his body, tugging him down to a warm embrace.
“Why did you make hyung wait for hours to cuddle with you?” Jongin frowns.
“I want to clear away all my homework for this weekend,” Kyungsoo says simply.
Jongin pauses. Then he smiles brightly. “Is it because you want to spend the weekend just with me?”
Kyungsoo can feel the warmth of a pink hue rising to his cheeks as he turns way his face from Jongin.
“My baby boy is too cute for me,” Jongin nuzzles his nose with Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo blushes even more at the closeness of their faces - with only a small breath between their lips.
“Why didn’t you come home earlier?” Kyungsoo says, trying to cover up the crack in his voice.
“Do you remember Jongdae, my roommate? He broke up with his boyfriend so if I left him alone in the apartment, who knows if I would even be able to breathe as soon as I walk through that door because of the stacks of ice cream containers stacked at the bench and nasty take out boxes all over the floor. I stayed back to make sure that he wouldn’t die from his own stink.”
“Did it have to be for that long?” Kyungsoo pouts.
“Did you miss me that much?” Jongin snuggles his nose close to his neck, breathing the fresh scent of his younger brother in. “Because I missed you while I was away.”
“I missed you too, hyung,” Kyungsoo’s heart started beating fast as he felt the small hairs of Jongin’s cheek brushing on his skin. It felt like the temperature all over his body heightened.
“You’re colouring so prettily today, Kyungsoo,” Jongin gazes at Kyungsoo, pulling back from the hollow of his neck. Jongin’s fingers graze the outline of the reddened areas, liking the feel of warmth under his cold fingertips.
“Hyung,” Kyungsoo plays with Jongin’s fingertips tracing on his face.
Jongin hums by his neck.
It’s time to say it to Jongin now or else he’ll probably be too scared to tell him and have to squash down his feelings again.
“I love you,” Kyungsoo spilled out. He was shocked. He thought he would have to squeeze the words out his throat, but it flowed easier than expected.
“I love you so so so so so so so much too,” Jongin smacks a kiss on his cheek. Looking up, he sees Jongin’s eyes bright and opened wide with an impish smile.
“No, not like that - just in a, not just but more of a-”
Kyungsoo saw the catch with confessing. The movies made it seem as if uttering those three words was the hardest part of this whole thing, but it was all wrong. It’s explaining why you said those words. His mouth feel sticky and dry, the thoughts in his head oozing piece by piece at the slow pace of dripping honey.
There weren't a lot of things which Kyungsoo could name about Jongin without becoming hesitant. There was the way he walked, talked, breathed, ate next to him. The way he became noticeably distant from some of his friends at school to be near him (that Chanyeol had even pulled him aside one day stating this fact excited because a senior was talking to him. Kyungsoo only rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the giddiness he felt being with Jongin).
There weren’t a lot of things that Kyungsoo didn't like about Jongin. He just liked Jongin the way he was, with his downright cheesy lines which should be taken down a notch to the way he treated Kyungsoo with upmost care. Not to mention how much more good looking Jongin became while growing up.
Kyungsoo loved Jongin because of the way he everything. (And the way he felt helpless and incoherent around him - grammar what grammar).
“Don’t need to rush, just take a deep breath in and out first,” Jongin smiled, encouragingly.
“I love you because of your everything - more than I should,” Kyungsoo says rapidly.
“Baby boy is so sweet,” Jongin squeezes around Kyungsoo’s sides and tugs him tighter in his embrace.
Kyungsoo makes an affronted noise.
“No, I love you like, like more than a brother should,” Kyungsoo says. At Jongin’s still thoroughly confused face, Kyungsoo groans.
He grabs the back of Jongin’s head and leans in close to his face. He sees the shocked look painted across his face and without second thoughts, he comes in closer and presses his lips against his.
Oh. Oh wow. It felt like he achieved everything he was building up to in just this one action of kissing Jongin. It felt so nice, like the cushion of Jongin’s cheek against his but even better.
“Is this a joke?”
Wait, what.
“Did someone dare you to do this at school or-?” Kyungsoo can feel Jongin loosen his arms around him.
Kyungsoo harrumphs. Insistently, he brings his face close and kisses him harder.
The second thoughts suddenly hit him and he pulls away. His cheeks colour and his eyes divert everywhere but at Jongin’s expression. Quickly, he climbs out of bed and continuously says ‘sorry’. Like a mantra to atone for the horrible fact that he just kissed his brother. A brother who you are not meant to confess and suddenly kiss in a bed.
He feels his legs buckle and suddenly he’s tipping on his side. Looking down, he sees Jongin’s legs around him. Looking up, he sees Jongin wearing a frazzled look on his face.
“Hyung loves Kyungsoo too,” Jongin says. He pulls Kyungsoo back up to his side and holds him on top of his chest, pressing their bodies together.
He brings his face close, and tugs his bottom lip into his mouth. His tongue enters and Kyungsoo moans in approval. Hands wander everywhere, and emotions whirl around the two. They kiss until Kyungsoo hits Jongin to let him breathe some more, and finally they break apart.
“When did this start?” Jongin asks.
“When you helped me that one time in my room,” Kyungsoo says. “But I think it might have always been there.”
“Kyungsoo,” Jongin moans, hearing this fact.
Jongin rolls him to his side. He slides one leg between Kyungsoo’s and another around his waist as if a possessive hold. Kyungsoo moans, and he tries to press as much of himself on Jongin’s body.
Jongin peppers kisses all along Kyungsoo’s cheek and along the column of his neck. Kyungsoo whimpers at the soft feel on his skin.
“You feel so soft and perfect underneath me Kyungsoo,” Jongin says, roaming his hands around his body.
Jongin colours Kyungsoo’s pale body with love and care. He peels open Kyungsoo with his fingers and mouth smoothing on his skin.
“Did you ever think of us?” Kyungsoo gasps at the feel of the skin against his.
“I may have, I may not have,” Jongin teases.
He unbuttons the stainless white uniform bearing a unicorn crest. Jongin thumbs the brown nipples and smiles at the high sounds emitting from the boy underneath him.
“You’re so sensitive in your nipples. It’s just like when we were younger,” Jongin coos.
Kyungsoo feels like smacking him against the chest for saying that, but it felt the ministrations on his body was turning his body into mush and felt like jelly with no strength left at all. In the air, musical sounds of gasps escaped his mouth and his spine felt like it was going to break soon with the number of times it felt like he bent too far.
”How do you feel about coming to live with me after you graduate high school this year?” Jongin asks.
“Just us?” Kyungsoo’s says, trying to process the words said.
“Baekhyun is planning to move so there’ll be a spare bedroom open for you.” Jongin sucks hard on his right nipple, and lightly bites it.
“Yes, I want to but I only want to sleep in the same room as you,” Kyungsoo says, wriggling underneath his body.
“Such a needy baby boy,” Jongin says, smiling against his nipple, before biting down on it again.
“Stop talking hyung. You suck at dirty talk,” Kyungsoo groans.
“You love my everything. You love my mouth,” Jongin says.