(for baekmebacon) Twilight and Shadow - Part 1 of 2
For: baekmebacon
Title: Twilight and Shadow
Pairings: Kai/D.O
Rating: R
Word Count: ~12k
Warnings: Mild drug abuse, light dubcon
Summary: After an accident, Jongin is left with only one person wanting to watch him perform. Unfortunately, that same person will be clapping for his downfall.
Author’s Note: this prompt was one of the best prompts i’ve ever gotten to write so i’m really honored to write this for you! I hope that you like it as much as I liked writing it!
“Again.”
The words burn into his head almost as hot as the lights that are burning into his skin. There’s sweat sliding down the back of his neck and his legs feel as though they will give out with one more step. He can feel the floor become slippery with the sweat sliding off of his skin. There’s a risk that he might fall. Ballet shoes aren’t the best with slippery surfaces. But it’s a risk that he must take.
Jongin sucks in a breath, walking over to the white tape on the side of the stage. It’s slightly hidden behind the curtain, only his outline being able to be seen from the seats. He doesn’t bother to wipe the sweat beads that slide down the side of his face. He closes his eyes and waits for the music to start.
Dancing had always been part of Jongin’s life. The way it made him feel was something that he could never find elsewhere. Even through all the pain, the tears, the hardships, he still smiled at the end of the day. What would come out of those things would be something beautiful, every time.
It was an escape, really. On stage, he was playing a role. No one cared about the pain he’s gone through to get there. No one cared about who he really was. They only cared about the technical parts and the role he could play. The rest was irrelevant. It didn’t matter if you were a straight A student or a failure. All that mattered was if you could dance and dance well.
The second tape mark is missed and Jongin gets flustered. His eyes are cloudy and he can’t see properly. The muscles in his thighs are screaming for rest, having been through too much in the last three months. He feels them wavering as he takes another jump. They get momentary rest before his feet hit the ground and the muscles scream up to his throat. Jongin swallows it and keeps his lips tightly together, not wanting to show any pain that he’s in. He’d only have to do it all over again if he did.
“You’re off! Jongin! Stay focused!”
He barely hears his choreographer over the beating of his heart. It’s so loud in his ears, it makes him dizzy. The heat is getting to him and he can feel the auditorium fade out around him. The music picks up and so does Jongin. He knows the routine by heart now. Even if he goes blind from heat and exhaustion, he would still be able to perform the dance well.
There’s only a few more seconds left in the song and Jongin decides to give it his all. It’s the part he’s been messing up at, constantly missing the tape or stumbling to the ground. Jongin takes a deep breath before letting his legs take control. The tips of his toes ache and feel as though they’re going to crumble when he presses against them. The soles of his feet have turned to knives that stab him with each thump against the hard floor. But he keeps at it because even with the pain, it’s something beautiful on the outside.
When his feet hit the floor for the final time, clothed toes brushing against the tape that’s come up from the surface of the stage, the music stops. Jongin keeps his pose but closes his eyes, wanting relief from the bright stage lights. The clapping coming from the audience makes his eyes open and his body relax.
“That was much better,” the choreographer says. “Still not where it should be but you’re getting there.”
Jongin nods and lets his torso bend down into a bow. “Thank you.”
His hands go on his knees, fingers gripping at the sweatpants hanging off his hips. Jongin catches his breath slowly. It’s the first break he’s gotten in over four hours. His muscles throb and his feet feel like weights. It’s all worth it though.
“Go wash up and head home.” Jongin feels a hand on his shoulder. It squeezes gently before patting against it. “Great work today. We’ll work more on it tomorrow.”
He thanks the man again and lets his body slide to the floor. He knows that if he waits too long, his muscles will seize and it’ll be even more painful to move. But Jongin needs to rest, even if it’s only for a minute or two. The cold floor makes shivers run up his spine. The lights are turned off and the only thing left are the lights from behind the curtains on the sides. Jongin waits until he hears the doors of the auditorium click shut before getting up.
xxx
There’s still a bag in the locker room. One that isn’t his. He knows it belongs to Sehun. Both of them had been picked out of the ballet department to compete at nationals. Sehun was very competitive, more so than Jongin. Unfortunately, Sehun let his emotions affect his dancing. If he didn’t, Sehun would be in the number one spot, not Jongin. There wasn’t any hostility towards each other though. They both were competing to represent Korea in the world championships. Of course there would be some bitterness if one got picked over another, but they both agreed that whatever happens, they’d still be happy for each other and not let it hurt their friendship.
The warm shower makes his muscles relax. Jongin feels his body open up and the pain from practice fade away. The scent of sweat fades away and is replaced by the subtle smell of the soap. His hair no longer sticks to his skin due to sweat, only water. Jongin rolls his head a few times, loosening the muscles as best as he can.
Stretches are always done in the shower after practice. It wasn’t as painful with the hot water against his muscles. Jongin slides down to the floor, streams of water hitting his back as he stretches his arms to his feet. He takes his time, counting to thirty for each leg. Then he stretches his arms up and behind his head, counting to forty before moving onto the next one. His feet roll in circles and he wiggles his toes, bending them down to mimic how they are when he’s standing on them. It’s painful, not as painful as a pulled muscle though.
Sehun comes in when he’s stretching his back. He looks to be in the same condition as Jongin. Nationals are only a week away and both of them feel the stress. Sehun gives him a nod before walking over to his own showerhead. He hears Sehun groan and looks over at him. The other has his arms behind his back, head tilted to the side, and back arching against the water. Jongin lets out a laugh, pushing himself up from the tile.
“I thought you went home hours ago.” It’s muttered as Sehun grabs his shampoo and pours it on his hands.
Jongin shakes his head. “I moved to the stage.”
“How’d you do?”
Sehun looks over at him, hands running through his hair, bunching it up. Piles of soap slide down his arms and neck as he massages his scalp. Jongin rolls his head again, taking it slower this time. “Alright. I need to do better though. It’s not where I want to be.”
“Don’t wear yourself out. It’s not going to be better if you don’t give yourself a proper break, you know.”
If someone else was telling him that, Jongin would only nod and whisper that he knows. It’s been told to him too many times. Not by his choreographer or any of the staff. Been told to him by his friends and fellow dancers. Sehun was an incredible dancer. He knew how to make judges cry and audiences stand and clap and cheer. He knew the consequences of working too hard first hand. Sehun only feared the same would happen to Jongin if he put too much on himself.
“Thanks. Take it easy yourself, okay? Can’t have my partner in crime pass out again.”
Sehun throws his bar of soap at Jongin, hitting him in the arm and making them both laugh out. It was nice to be able to see Sehun for who he really was, not who he had to be on stage. Sehun was cold on stage. He always was given the dark compositions. Ones that dealt with anger and war. His moves were powerful and striking. Behind the stage though, Sehun was cheerful and shy. He was like any eighteen year old.
“Don’t stay too long. It’s already past midnight,” Jongin says as he wraps his towel around his waist and walks out of the shower room with a smile. He knows that Sehun will stay for probably another two hours.
xxx
They all meet the next morning, promptly at eight. Jongin yawns and finishes off the water bottle in his hand, not wanting to cramp up during stretches. He makes his way over to his spot on the bar, smiling at his fellow dancers. They all look tired. All look worn out. There’s dark circles under their eyes that make up probably can’t fix. It’s all due to the competition coming soon. Sixteen hour days that make even the strongest dancers fall. But not a single person is missing from the room. He counts all the faces of his friends. Even though they’re tired and worn out, they all want success just as much as he does.
His legs haven’t recovered from yesterday and they ache as Jongin stretches his leg against the bar. He can see blisters on his toes from how they rub against the ballet shoes and on the floor. His ankles are slightly swollen from the pressure put on them with each routine he repeats.
Jongin watches Yixing through the mirror as he stumbles against the bar. He loses balance and falls to the floor. Stretching stops and everyone turns to look at him. He smiles and shakes his head, pushing himself off the ground. It’s only a matter of seconds before he’s back in position and following commands. Jongin knows he’s in pain, his back still not fully healed from when he hurt it a few weeks ago.
He spots Sehun scrunch his nose up when they bend forward, stretching their legs up high. Jongin watches as Luhan squeezes his eyes shut as they slide down into splits. Everyone is in pain. Jongin remembers catching Luhan with bags of ice against his legs a few nights ago. He isn’t in the ballet department but the hip hop one. Luhan’s also been chosen to represent their studio in nationals, the same as Yixing. Only Luhan had to work twice as hard because of Yixing’s injury. It was debatable whether he would be back in time to perform properly. With the chance that he wouldn’t be, Luhan had to learn his dance. They would require two dances and Luhan had to be ready to give them two.
At nine, he’s back on the stage. The music is back in his ears and his feet are taking him across the stage in graceful steps. The choreographer isn’t the only one seated in the auditorium. Jongin spots Sehun leaned against the wall on the side. Jongin hears his voice, telling him to hit the marks harder.
“It’s a fluid song but when you hit those marks make them stand out!”
Jongin nods just enough for Sehun to know that he’s heard him. He does as he’s told and his feet hit hard against stage when they come across the next taped spot. He smiles and lets the music take over him, knowing that he’s already improved.
The fourth time he runs through the routine, Sehun is gone and only his choreographer is left in the auditorium. He doesn’t say much as Jongin continues to dance. Sometimes he tells him that he’s off, other times he tells him that it was perfect and claps along to it.
There’s something wrong during the sixth time. Jongin feels his legs shaking with every step. He stumbles when he lands the jumps, almost falling once. It happens sometimes, but usually only after hours of practice. It’s only been one hour and he’s already starting to wither away. His choreographer notices and tells him to get it together. Jongin nods and squeezes his eyes shut, taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself.
Jongin doesn’t know if it’s because of the sweat dripping off of him or perhaps he didn’t cut at the bottom of his shoes enough to give him enough traction. Then he thinks it doesn’t really matter, his foot slips against the tape. His eyes close and he lets out a breath as his leg extends and his body is sliding off the stage.
The first thing to hit the ground is his leg. Jongin screams and grips onto his leg tightly, pain being a searing heat throughout it. The choreographer runs over to him. Jongin hears him asking him questions, wondering if he’s okay. All Jongin can do is lay back against the floor and grip his leg, shaking his head quickly. It’s pain that doesn’t come with success, only defeat.
xxx
The news of a broken leg is worse than any news Jongin has gotten in a very long time. It’s not something that can be healed quickly. It’s not a finger or wrist where he can still dance. It’s his leg that allows him to dance. Without it, there’s no possible way he can still compete in nationals.
He’s given a cast and crutches a few hours later. Jongin feels tears prick at his eyes with each step he takes with the crutches. They aren’t because of the pain still in his leg. They’re because he’s let himself down. Let his studio down. Now they lost their best danseur for nationals. All Jongin can think about is if they’ve told Sehun yet.
xxx
Jongin returns to the studio the next day. There’s no reason for him to be there but he wants to tell the others that he’s sorry. He knows that his words won’t be enough for them. They’ll be angry, at least some of them will be. The others will welcome him with open arms and forgiving smiles. At least, that’s what Jongin imagines it to be like.
He’s met with harsh eyes and cold shoulders as he walks into the practice room. Jongin tries to ignore it and walks over to Yixing who is stretching on the floor. He gives him a smile, leaning against his crutches in attempt to relieve some of the pain from his leg. When he opens his mouth to speak, the other shakes his head and pushes himself off the ground. Another second goes by and Yixing is over talking to Luhan.
The atmosphere in the room is sickening. There’s no eyes on him and if they are on him, they’re full of negative emotions. Jongin looks around at his fellow dancers. He turns on his leg some, crutches digging into the hardwood of the floor. His eyes look at the mirrors around him and see harsh glares at him. He sucks in a breath and quickly makes his way out of the practice room.
Jongin hears music come from the auditorium. It’s Sehun’s music and when he looks inside the doors, he sees Sehun dancing fiercely on the stage. His brows are furrowed in focus and his skin is shining with sweat. The choreographer has his hands on his hips and he walks back and forth in front of the stage as Sehun dances.
“Good,” the choreographer says when the music stops. “Take a break and then get ready for the next.”
Sehun nods, hand running through his hair, pushing it back and letting his body fall to the floor. He lays quietly and Jongin watches as his chest rises and falls with each deep breath. Jongin makes his way down the aisle, crutches occasionally bumping against the edges of the seats. He realizes just how loud they are in the quiet auditorium.
“Great job, Sehun.” Jongin smiles, leaning against the stage and letting his arms rest on top. “You’re bound to get the spot.”
Jongin expects a breathy laugh from Sehun. Maybe a smile and a thanks too. He doesn’t get any of that. He gets a glare and when Sehun sits up to meet his eyes, they’re dark.
“Why are you here?” Sehun hisses out, rubbing his hands against his shorts.
“I came to support you. All of you. Apologize too.”
Jongin watches as Sehun stands up. His legs have scars from too many injuries. Too many falls and one surgery. Sehun grabs his water bottle from the side of the stage, drinking more than half in one go. He finishes it off a few seconds later, tossing the empty bottle at Jongin. “Save it,” he says in a breath. “No one wants you here.”
xxx
What Sehun said reigns true. Jongin visits the studio every day and each time he’s greeted with glares and harsh whispers. Luhan pushes him as he walks past him one day. It makes Jongin’s crutch slip out of his arm and fall on the floor. Luhan smiles and then proceeds to kick the crutch further away. Jongin watches as Yixing shakes his head before walking out of the room with Luhan by his side.
There are some that aren’t terribly mean to him. Some just don’t acknowledge him. They act as if he isn’t there, not responding to him and not even looking at him. No matter how hard Jongin tries for their attention, it’s always elsewhere.
The worst of them all is Sehun. Jongin had expected him to be upset and maybe a little angry. But Sehun was his best friend. He wanted him to understand. It wasn’t Jongin’s fault. It was an accident. All people have accidents, Sehun included. When Sehun had torn his muscle last year, Jongin welcomed him with open arms when he came back. He was out for a good month and Jongin brought him food and helped him take care of himself during that time.
Maybe it was because nationals were right around the corner and the stress has gotten to him now. Jongin hopes that it’s the answer and when the competition is over, Sehun will apologize and they can be back how they used to be. Jongin will be welcomed back into the studio and he can have his friends back. That’s what he wishes, at least.
xxx
Nationals come and go and Jongin simply has to watch. He watches as Sehun dances his number, maybe better than he ever could have done himself. Luhan and Yixing do amazing as well, both nailing their solos and their duo together. Jongin claps and yells as loudly as he can when Sehun is announced as the winner from the ballet section. Yixing moves on instead of Luhan and he watches as both of them hug and smile. Jongin sees tears in Luhan’s eyes but he knows that he’ll be okay.
Jongin buy three bouquets of flowers during the pictures. He holds them awkwardly as he waits by the stage door for Luhan, Yixing, and Sehun. He knows there’s a chance they won’t take them. That they’ll walk right past him and ignore his presence. But Jongin is proud and he’ll stand there for them even if they hate him.
Luhan is the only one to take them. He bows at Jongin before running after Yixing. Sehun gives him the cold shoulder, not even sparing a glance.
xxx
Almost three months later is when Jongin gets his cast off and he can walk properly again. It takes him a few days to get the feeling back and learn how to walk with both legs. By day four, Jongin is already dancing in his bedroom. His leg still wobbles every now and then and it tingles more than it should. He doesn’t want to waste anymore time though. He knows he needs to get his muscles back to where they were if he has any chance to compete in the competition coming up in the next few months.
As expected, his friends still give him rude stares and ignore him. Jongin tries his hardest to ignore them as well, only wanting to focus on dancing. If they want to be childish and hold a grudge against them, they could, Jongin thinks. While they worry about how to be rude to him, he’ll worry about dancing and taking first place.
There isn’t much different about the studio. Jongin hasn’t been in weeks, he stopped going after nationals. There are new bars in the ballet warm up room and a new curtain in the auditorium. Everything else is the same though. Still same old scuffed floors and same old smudged mirrors. It feels like home though. More than his bed could ever feel.
When the warm up session begins, Jongin notices a new face in the room. One with big, bright, brown eyes and plump lips much like his own. The boy is a little shorter and with delicate black hair just long enough to cover his eyebrows. Jongin watches him in the mirror as they stretch. He’s flexible and doesn’t have any problems with their stretches.
Jongin wonders what the others have told the new boy about him. Have they told him that he’s a traitor? That he’s a horrible person? Perhaps they made up lies about why he’s been gone and the whole studio hates him. Jongin feels his lips curl down into a frown as he lifts his leg up, knee brushing against his shoulder.
xxx
“So you’re Jongin, huh?” The new boy smiles at him, hand on his hip and big eyes looking slightly up at him. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Jongin opens his mouth to sigh and ask for understanding but the new boy shakes his head and holds his hand up. “Number one dancer in the ballet department. Three time champion in South Korea.” The boy nods his head down to Jongin’s legs before continuing. “Broke your leg right before nationals.”
Jongin wants to smile and hug the other for not saying any negative things about him. He decides to hide his relief and smile softly at the other, hand reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. “Yeah, that’s me.”
The other reaches down to grab his water bottle. He opens the cap and takes a good sip before licking at his lips. “I’m Kyungsoo. New danseur.” Kyungsoo smiles as he fixes his tight tank top. “Just transferred here from the studio in Busan. Don’t tell anyone there but this place is a hell of a lot better.”
Jongin lets out a laugh at the comment. He nods and licks at his lips, stretching his arms out slowly behind him. Kyungsoo puts the cap on his water bottle and locks eyes with Jongin. “Are you headed to room B?”
“Yeah,” Jongin says with a smile, grabbing his bag off of the floor and hooking it over his shoulder. “You too?”
Kyungsoo nods. “Let’s walk together?”
The shorter boy is a lot better than Jongin imagined. He dances with precision like Sehun but has the emotions like Jongin. He’s far more talented than the other danseurs that Jongin’s seen come from Busan. Most of them are clumsy and severely lack technical knowledge and skill. It’s no wonder why Kyungsoo transferred to their theater. He was far better than everyone there. Even after watching him for only a few minutes, Jongin knows he’ll be a threat.
It takes almost an hour for Jongin to get back into things. He’s off for the first few run throughs of their new routine. Part of it is because he has his eyes on Kyungsoo and sometimes they wander to Sehun in the back. The other part is due to his leg still not being ready for such vigorous activity.
Their choreographer asks Jongin if he needs a break halfway through the day. Jongin shakes his head and lets out a breathy ‘no’. It’s the first dance as a group he’s done in almost a year and he has to show everyone that he’s ready to be back. He’s ready to take his spot as number one in the studio again. He wants to show his friends that he deserves to be there.
xxx
Midnight comes and goes and Jongin is still looking at himself in the mirror. His feet are hitting against the floor as he goes over the routine again. He’s almost positive he’s the only one left in the studio. Sehun is possibly in the next room over or in the showers. Other than him, no one else dares to stay this late.
Jongin’s leg hurts more than it did in the morning. His muscles are incredibly sore and each step he feels it shaking and ready to give out. It’s risky to keep dancing on it for longer, risking the possibility of him becoming hurt again. He’s willing to risk it again though. He knows it’ll pay off to have the extra studio time.
At half past one, Jongin turns off the music and grabs his bag. His legs hum and he feels like he’s still dancing as he stands still. His water bottle empties too fast and his mouth becomes dry again in only seconds. Jongin smiles because he couldn’t be happier to be back. It takes him a few minutes before he walks out of the room and into the hallway.
The first thing he sees when he walks outside is Sehun leaning against the wall. His eyes have bags under them as usual and his cheekbones are sticking out a little further than Jongin remembers. His tank top is covered by a heavier coat and there’s small puffs of air coming from his lips that dust the clear air.
“Hey,” Jongin says quietly as he lets the door to the theater shut behind him. He hasn’t attempted to talk to Sehun since nationals. He thought about sending him a text telling him he did a great job at the world competition, telling him that he’d do better next time, but decided against it. He knew he was the last person Sehun probably wanted to hear from.
Sehun crosses his arms over his chest and leans back against the wall more. Jongin sighs, running his hand through his hair as he steps in front of the taller one. “Listen, I get that you’re pissed at what happened, but it wasn’t like I did it on purpose.” Jongin watches as Sehun huffs silently, his weight shifting from one leg to another. “I’m really sorry and I’d like it if you didn’t treat me like complete shit for what happened.”
“And how do you think I felt, Jongin? I had to take over your dance and do it all alone.” Sehun says harshly, eyes piercing into Jongin’s. “I had so much stress on myself because of you.”
Jongin rolls his eyes, pushing on Sehun’s arm gently. “Can you not make this about yourself for once? Would you have rather had me dance with a broken leg? Don’t just be bitter because you didn’t win at worlds.”
It might have been too harsh, Jongin thinks as Sehun punches him in the jaw. He grips the spot while tumbling backwards a bit. Luckily he doesn’t fall onto the pavement of the parking lot and just tips backwards a bit. He sees Sehun walking towards him and Jongin prepares for another hit to the face or somewhere else. Only, Sehun stops when the studio door opens and the bright light shines out into the parking lot.
“What’s going on?”
Kyungsoo looks at them both with big eyes and a worried look laced in them. Jongin shakes his head and watches as Sehun grabs his bag off the ground. He flips it over his shoulder and steps down from the sidewalk, long legs taking him quickly through the parking lot. Jongin frowns because he knows Sehun is going to walk home. It’s something he always did when he was angry. It’s a long walk and Jongin hopes he’ll be okay.
“I take it you two have some issues to work out?” Kyungsoo laughs softly as he adjusts the bag on his shoulder.
“Kind of.” Jongin frowns, rubbing at his jaw as he picks up his bag, setting it down by his feet.
Kyungsoo tilts his head, letting his arm extend out and rub at the red mark on Jongin’s jaw. “Must be pretty serious to punch you like that.”
“Sehun’s always a little dramatic,” Jongin says with a small smile. He gasps as Kyungsoo presses his thumb down against the spot where he got punched. It hurts for only a second and then the pain is gone when Kyungsoo drops his hand.
“Make sure you ice it well tonight. It’ll be ugly if you don’t.”
Jongin watches as Kyungsoo steps off the sidewalk. He walks slowly to a car and slides in. It takes him a minute before Kyungsoo pulls out and drives out onto the road. Jongin sucks in a breath, fingers rubbing against his jaw as he picks up his bag and makes his way to his own car.
xxx
The bruise on his jaw doesn’t go away for almost two weeks. Jongin tries to cover it up with concealer to make it look not as bad but it doesn’t work. Anything he puts on, he sweats off in a few hours anyways. The other people in the studio give him weird looks when they see the bruise. He knows there’s a rumor going around that Sehun and him fought and Jongin doesn’t like that it’s not false.
He tries to ignore even more whispers and mean looks towards him. He ignores when Luhan gives Sehun a high five while pointing at him and grinning. It all fuels his desire to make his way back up to his spot and hopefully gain his respect again.
Jongin spends more than thirteen hours a day in the theater. He wakes up at seven and arrives at the studio by eight. He dances until midnight or one. Sometimes he only makes it until eleven if his legs give out or he begins to feel sick. Then he returns home right before two on the late nights and falls asleep by two-thirty. It starts back up the next day at seven and begins again.
Most nights end the same too. Jongin walks outside to see Sehun waiting for his ride which is usually Luhan. Jongin knows that Luhan goes home around nine, sleeps for a few hours then comes and picks up Sehun whenever he finishes. After Sehun leaves, Kyungsoo comes out from the studio, hair wet and heavy jacket keeping him warm.
xxx
“Do you want to go to the club?” Kyungsoo grins up at him as he ties his shoes. His hair is damp from the shower a few minutes ago and he pushes his bangs to the side when he stands up. “It’s Friday so they don’t close until five.”
Jongin’s brows furrow because he didn’t really expect Kyungsoo to be the clubbing type. None of them at the theater really were. Yixing occasionally went but it ended up him going to dance and that’s all. Perhaps that’s what Kyungsoo wanted to do. His grin says otherwise though.
“I don’t know. We have to be in the studio early tomorrow..”
Kyungsoo laughs and grabs onto Jongin’s hand. Jongin blinks and feels his palm begin to get sweaty the longer Kyungsoo holds it. “Oh come on! We’ve been practicing every day for nearly a month. We deserve some fun, don’t you think?”
He knows that Kyungsoo is right. It’s been years since Jongin’s actually gone out and done something other than dancing. He doesn’t take vacations and doesn’t want weekends free to do whatever he wants. His whole life is dedicated to dancing and that’s all it is. Jongin nods and lets his lips turn into a grin, laughing as Kyungsoo drags him out of the studio at a fast pace.
The club is only a few minutes away from the studio. Kyungsoo spends the ride talking about how great it is. He mentions that the bartender is friendly and might have a crush on him and how she always gives him a little more than allowed. Jongin shifts uncomfortably at the thought of drinking. He isn’t exactly opposed to it but he’d rather not. He wonders how old Kyungsoo is to be able to drink.
It’s a lot more obnoxious than Jongin expected. The music is louder and the heavy haze of smoke is thicker which makes him cover his nose. Kyungsoo laughs and brushes his lips against Jongin’s ear, slightly yelling that he’ll get used to it. There’s a hand on his arm that squeezes gently as they lock eyes and Kyungsoo smiles at him.
They settle down at the bar, squeezed between two older couples. Jongin feels out of place. Too young to be where he is. Kyungsoo keeps his hand on his thigh, thumb rubbing at the inside slowly as he orders drinks. He watches as the bartender bends down a little too far. Her cleavage shows far more than it should and Jongin doesn’t miss the smirk on Kyungsoo’s lips and how his eyes travel down to the low tank top.
“I told you she likes me,” Kyungsoo says as he pushes a small shot glass in front of Jongin. He lifts up his own, downing it quickly and letting his lips part with a small groan. “Drink up.”
Jongin smiles softly and gently pushes the shot glass away from himself. “I don’t drink.”
Kyungsoo laughs, hand squeezing at Jongin’s thigh. “Oh, don’t be a pussy. It’s one drink, alright? After this no more. Won’t pressure you.”
It takes a minute of thinking before Jongin grabs the glass and lets the liquid slide down his throat. It burns more than he remembers and it makes him cough for a few seconds. Kyungsoo laughs, hand coming up to ruffle at Jongin’s hair. Jongin lets out a small laugh as well, fingers shaking slightly.
After Kyungsoo takes three more shots, they end up on the dance floor. Jongin feels a little better because at least it gives him something to do. Even though he’s trained mainly in ballet doesn’t mean he can’t dance other things. There are several eyes on him and Kyungsoo as they dance together. Kyungsoo laughs and whispers how hot Jongin looks. It makes his cheeks heat up and he mutters a thanks, slightly stepping away from the other.
Soon Kyungsoo is far too close. His breath is hitting against Jongin’s cheek and his hands are wrapped around his shoulders. At some point Kyungsoo slips his thigh between Jongin’s. Their bodies touch and Jongin becomes aware of what Kyungsoo is trying to do. Lips are pressed against his jaw and there’s teeth gently nipping at the skin.
“I thought you were so hot the first time I saw you,” Kyungsoo says after he kisses his way up Jongin’s jaw. “Toned ass and thighs that could feel so good under my hands.” There’s a growl in his ear and then Kyungsoo’s kissing him, hot and hard.
Jongin doesn’t kiss back. His hands lay flat against Kyungsoo’s chest, pushing him away. Jongin stumbles back a bit, gently bumping into a girl. He shakes his head and wipes at his mouth. Kyungsoo laughs and holds his arms out. “Come here, it’s okay.”
It only takes a few seconds for Jongin to push his way past the crowd of people. He knows Kyungsoo is calling his name but all he can think about is getting out of the club and finding his way home.
( Part 2 )
Title: Twilight and Shadow
Pairings: Kai/D.O
Rating: R
Word Count: ~12k
Warnings: Mild drug abuse, light dubcon
Summary: After an accident, Jongin is left with only one person wanting to watch him perform. Unfortunately, that same person will be clapping for his downfall.
Author’s Note: this prompt was one of the best prompts i’ve ever gotten to write so i’m really honored to write this for you! I hope that you like it as much as I liked writing it!
“Again.”
The words burn into his head almost as hot as the lights that are burning into his skin. There’s sweat sliding down the back of his neck and his legs feel as though they will give out with one more step. He can feel the floor become slippery with the sweat sliding off of his skin. There’s a risk that he might fall. Ballet shoes aren’t the best with slippery surfaces. But it’s a risk that he must take.
Jongin sucks in a breath, walking over to the white tape on the side of the stage. It’s slightly hidden behind the curtain, only his outline being able to be seen from the seats. He doesn’t bother to wipe the sweat beads that slide down the side of his face. He closes his eyes and waits for the music to start.
Dancing had always been part of Jongin’s life. The way it made him feel was something that he could never find elsewhere. Even through all the pain, the tears, the hardships, he still smiled at the end of the day. What would come out of those things would be something beautiful, every time.
It was an escape, really. On stage, he was playing a role. No one cared about the pain he’s gone through to get there. No one cared about who he really was. They only cared about the technical parts and the role he could play. The rest was irrelevant. It didn’t matter if you were a straight A student or a failure. All that mattered was if you could dance and dance well.
The second tape mark is missed and Jongin gets flustered. His eyes are cloudy and he can’t see properly. The muscles in his thighs are screaming for rest, having been through too much in the last three months. He feels them wavering as he takes another jump. They get momentary rest before his feet hit the ground and the muscles scream up to his throat. Jongin swallows it and keeps his lips tightly together, not wanting to show any pain that he’s in. He’d only have to do it all over again if he did.
“You’re off! Jongin! Stay focused!”
He barely hears his choreographer over the beating of his heart. It’s so loud in his ears, it makes him dizzy. The heat is getting to him and he can feel the auditorium fade out around him. The music picks up and so does Jongin. He knows the routine by heart now. Even if he goes blind from heat and exhaustion, he would still be able to perform the dance well.
There’s only a few more seconds left in the song and Jongin decides to give it his all. It’s the part he’s been messing up at, constantly missing the tape or stumbling to the ground. Jongin takes a deep breath before letting his legs take control. The tips of his toes ache and feel as though they’re going to crumble when he presses against them. The soles of his feet have turned to knives that stab him with each thump against the hard floor. But he keeps at it because even with the pain, it’s something beautiful on the outside.
When his feet hit the floor for the final time, clothed toes brushing against the tape that’s come up from the surface of the stage, the music stops. Jongin keeps his pose but closes his eyes, wanting relief from the bright stage lights. The clapping coming from the audience makes his eyes open and his body relax.
“That was much better,” the choreographer says. “Still not where it should be but you’re getting there.”
Jongin nods and lets his torso bend down into a bow. “Thank you.”
His hands go on his knees, fingers gripping at the sweatpants hanging off his hips. Jongin catches his breath slowly. It’s the first break he’s gotten in over four hours. His muscles throb and his feet feel like weights. It’s all worth it though.
“Go wash up and head home.” Jongin feels a hand on his shoulder. It squeezes gently before patting against it. “Great work today. We’ll work more on it tomorrow.”
He thanks the man again and lets his body slide to the floor. He knows that if he waits too long, his muscles will seize and it’ll be even more painful to move. But Jongin needs to rest, even if it’s only for a minute or two. The cold floor makes shivers run up his spine. The lights are turned off and the only thing left are the lights from behind the curtains on the sides. Jongin waits until he hears the doors of the auditorium click shut before getting up.
xxx
There’s still a bag in the locker room. One that isn’t his. He knows it belongs to Sehun. Both of them had been picked out of the ballet department to compete at nationals. Sehun was very competitive, more so than Jongin. Unfortunately, Sehun let his emotions affect his dancing. If he didn’t, Sehun would be in the number one spot, not Jongin. There wasn’t any hostility towards each other though. They both were competing to represent Korea in the world championships. Of course there would be some bitterness if one got picked over another, but they both agreed that whatever happens, they’d still be happy for each other and not let it hurt their friendship.
The warm shower makes his muscles relax. Jongin feels his body open up and the pain from practice fade away. The scent of sweat fades away and is replaced by the subtle smell of the soap. His hair no longer sticks to his skin due to sweat, only water. Jongin rolls his head a few times, loosening the muscles as best as he can.
Stretches are always done in the shower after practice. It wasn’t as painful with the hot water against his muscles. Jongin slides down to the floor, streams of water hitting his back as he stretches his arms to his feet. He takes his time, counting to thirty for each leg. Then he stretches his arms up and behind his head, counting to forty before moving onto the next one. His feet roll in circles and he wiggles his toes, bending them down to mimic how they are when he’s standing on them. It’s painful, not as painful as a pulled muscle though.
Sehun comes in when he’s stretching his back. He looks to be in the same condition as Jongin. Nationals are only a week away and both of them feel the stress. Sehun gives him a nod before walking over to his own showerhead. He hears Sehun groan and looks over at him. The other has his arms behind his back, head tilted to the side, and back arching against the water. Jongin lets out a laugh, pushing himself up from the tile.
“I thought you went home hours ago.” It’s muttered as Sehun grabs his shampoo and pours it on his hands.
Jongin shakes his head. “I moved to the stage.”
“How’d you do?”
Sehun looks over at him, hands running through his hair, bunching it up. Piles of soap slide down his arms and neck as he massages his scalp. Jongin rolls his head again, taking it slower this time. “Alright. I need to do better though. It’s not where I want to be.”
“Don’t wear yourself out. It’s not going to be better if you don’t give yourself a proper break, you know.”
If someone else was telling him that, Jongin would only nod and whisper that he knows. It’s been told to him too many times. Not by his choreographer or any of the staff. Been told to him by his friends and fellow dancers. Sehun was an incredible dancer. He knew how to make judges cry and audiences stand and clap and cheer. He knew the consequences of working too hard first hand. Sehun only feared the same would happen to Jongin if he put too much on himself.
“Thanks. Take it easy yourself, okay? Can’t have my partner in crime pass out again.”
Sehun throws his bar of soap at Jongin, hitting him in the arm and making them both laugh out. It was nice to be able to see Sehun for who he really was, not who he had to be on stage. Sehun was cold on stage. He always was given the dark compositions. Ones that dealt with anger and war. His moves were powerful and striking. Behind the stage though, Sehun was cheerful and shy. He was like any eighteen year old.
“Don’t stay too long. It’s already past midnight,” Jongin says as he wraps his towel around his waist and walks out of the shower room with a smile. He knows that Sehun will stay for probably another two hours.
xxx
They all meet the next morning, promptly at eight. Jongin yawns and finishes off the water bottle in his hand, not wanting to cramp up during stretches. He makes his way over to his spot on the bar, smiling at his fellow dancers. They all look tired. All look worn out. There’s dark circles under their eyes that make up probably can’t fix. It’s all due to the competition coming soon. Sixteen hour days that make even the strongest dancers fall. But not a single person is missing from the room. He counts all the faces of his friends. Even though they’re tired and worn out, they all want success just as much as he does.
His legs haven’t recovered from yesterday and they ache as Jongin stretches his leg against the bar. He can see blisters on his toes from how they rub against the ballet shoes and on the floor. His ankles are slightly swollen from the pressure put on them with each routine he repeats.
Jongin watches Yixing through the mirror as he stumbles against the bar. He loses balance and falls to the floor. Stretching stops and everyone turns to look at him. He smiles and shakes his head, pushing himself off the ground. It’s only a matter of seconds before he’s back in position and following commands. Jongin knows he’s in pain, his back still not fully healed from when he hurt it a few weeks ago.
He spots Sehun scrunch his nose up when they bend forward, stretching their legs up high. Jongin watches as Luhan squeezes his eyes shut as they slide down into splits. Everyone is in pain. Jongin remembers catching Luhan with bags of ice against his legs a few nights ago. He isn’t in the ballet department but the hip hop one. Luhan’s also been chosen to represent their studio in nationals, the same as Yixing. Only Luhan had to work twice as hard because of Yixing’s injury. It was debatable whether he would be back in time to perform properly. With the chance that he wouldn’t be, Luhan had to learn his dance. They would require two dances and Luhan had to be ready to give them two.
At nine, he’s back on the stage. The music is back in his ears and his feet are taking him across the stage in graceful steps. The choreographer isn’t the only one seated in the auditorium. Jongin spots Sehun leaned against the wall on the side. Jongin hears his voice, telling him to hit the marks harder.
“It’s a fluid song but when you hit those marks make them stand out!”
Jongin nods just enough for Sehun to know that he’s heard him. He does as he’s told and his feet hit hard against stage when they come across the next taped spot. He smiles and lets the music take over him, knowing that he’s already improved.
The fourth time he runs through the routine, Sehun is gone and only his choreographer is left in the auditorium. He doesn’t say much as Jongin continues to dance. Sometimes he tells him that he’s off, other times he tells him that it was perfect and claps along to it.
There’s something wrong during the sixth time. Jongin feels his legs shaking with every step. He stumbles when he lands the jumps, almost falling once. It happens sometimes, but usually only after hours of practice. It’s only been one hour and he’s already starting to wither away. His choreographer notices and tells him to get it together. Jongin nods and squeezes his eyes shut, taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself.
Jongin doesn’t know if it’s because of the sweat dripping off of him or perhaps he didn’t cut at the bottom of his shoes enough to give him enough traction. Then he thinks it doesn’t really matter, his foot slips against the tape. His eyes close and he lets out a breath as his leg extends and his body is sliding off the stage.
The first thing to hit the ground is his leg. Jongin screams and grips onto his leg tightly, pain being a searing heat throughout it. The choreographer runs over to him. Jongin hears him asking him questions, wondering if he’s okay. All Jongin can do is lay back against the floor and grip his leg, shaking his head quickly. It’s pain that doesn’t come with success, only defeat.
xxx
The news of a broken leg is worse than any news Jongin has gotten in a very long time. It’s not something that can be healed quickly. It’s not a finger or wrist where he can still dance. It’s his leg that allows him to dance. Without it, there’s no possible way he can still compete in nationals.
He’s given a cast and crutches a few hours later. Jongin feels tears prick at his eyes with each step he takes with the crutches. They aren’t because of the pain still in his leg. They’re because he’s let himself down. Let his studio down. Now they lost their best danseur for nationals. All Jongin can think about is if they’ve told Sehun yet.
xxx
Jongin returns to the studio the next day. There’s no reason for him to be there but he wants to tell the others that he’s sorry. He knows that his words won’t be enough for them. They’ll be angry, at least some of them will be. The others will welcome him with open arms and forgiving smiles. At least, that’s what Jongin imagines it to be like.
He’s met with harsh eyes and cold shoulders as he walks into the practice room. Jongin tries to ignore it and walks over to Yixing who is stretching on the floor. He gives him a smile, leaning against his crutches in attempt to relieve some of the pain from his leg. When he opens his mouth to speak, the other shakes his head and pushes himself off the ground. Another second goes by and Yixing is over talking to Luhan.
The atmosphere in the room is sickening. There’s no eyes on him and if they are on him, they’re full of negative emotions. Jongin looks around at his fellow dancers. He turns on his leg some, crutches digging into the hardwood of the floor. His eyes look at the mirrors around him and see harsh glares at him. He sucks in a breath and quickly makes his way out of the practice room.
Jongin hears music come from the auditorium. It’s Sehun’s music and when he looks inside the doors, he sees Sehun dancing fiercely on the stage. His brows are furrowed in focus and his skin is shining with sweat. The choreographer has his hands on his hips and he walks back and forth in front of the stage as Sehun dances.
“Good,” the choreographer says when the music stops. “Take a break and then get ready for the next.”
Sehun nods, hand running through his hair, pushing it back and letting his body fall to the floor. He lays quietly and Jongin watches as his chest rises and falls with each deep breath. Jongin makes his way down the aisle, crutches occasionally bumping against the edges of the seats. He realizes just how loud they are in the quiet auditorium.
“Great job, Sehun.” Jongin smiles, leaning against the stage and letting his arms rest on top. “You’re bound to get the spot.”
Jongin expects a breathy laugh from Sehun. Maybe a smile and a thanks too. He doesn’t get any of that. He gets a glare and when Sehun sits up to meet his eyes, they’re dark.
“Why are you here?” Sehun hisses out, rubbing his hands against his shorts.
“I came to support you. All of you. Apologize too.”
Jongin watches as Sehun stands up. His legs have scars from too many injuries. Too many falls and one surgery. Sehun grabs his water bottle from the side of the stage, drinking more than half in one go. He finishes it off a few seconds later, tossing the empty bottle at Jongin. “Save it,” he says in a breath. “No one wants you here.”
xxx
What Sehun said reigns true. Jongin visits the studio every day and each time he’s greeted with glares and harsh whispers. Luhan pushes him as he walks past him one day. It makes Jongin’s crutch slip out of his arm and fall on the floor. Luhan smiles and then proceeds to kick the crutch further away. Jongin watches as Yixing shakes his head before walking out of the room with Luhan by his side.
There are some that aren’t terribly mean to him. Some just don’t acknowledge him. They act as if he isn’t there, not responding to him and not even looking at him. No matter how hard Jongin tries for their attention, it’s always elsewhere.
The worst of them all is Sehun. Jongin had expected him to be upset and maybe a little angry. But Sehun was his best friend. He wanted him to understand. It wasn’t Jongin’s fault. It was an accident. All people have accidents, Sehun included. When Sehun had torn his muscle last year, Jongin welcomed him with open arms when he came back. He was out for a good month and Jongin brought him food and helped him take care of himself during that time.
Maybe it was because nationals were right around the corner and the stress has gotten to him now. Jongin hopes that it’s the answer and when the competition is over, Sehun will apologize and they can be back how they used to be. Jongin will be welcomed back into the studio and he can have his friends back. That’s what he wishes, at least.
xxx
Nationals come and go and Jongin simply has to watch. He watches as Sehun dances his number, maybe better than he ever could have done himself. Luhan and Yixing do amazing as well, both nailing their solos and their duo together. Jongin claps and yells as loudly as he can when Sehun is announced as the winner from the ballet section. Yixing moves on instead of Luhan and he watches as both of them hug and smile. Jongin sees tears in Luhan’s eyes but he knows that he’ll be okay.
Jongin buy three bouquets of flowers during the pictures. He holds them awkwardly as he waits by the stage door for Luhan, Yixing, and Sehun. He knows there’s a chance they won’t take them. That they’ll walk right past him and ignore his presence. But Jongin is proud and he’ll stand there for them even if they hate him.
Luhan is the only one to take them. He bows at Jongin before running after Yixing. Sehun gives him the cold shoulder, not even sparing a glance.
xxx
Almost three months later is when Jongin gets his cast off and he can walk properly again. It takes him a few days to get the feeling back and learn how to walk with both legs. By day four, Jongin is already dancing in his bedroom. His leg still wobbles every now and then and it tingles more than it should. He doesn’t want to waste anymore time though. He knows he needs to get his muscles back to where they were if he has any chance to compete in the competition coming up in the next few months.
As expected, his friends still give him rude stares and ignore him. Jongin tries his hardest to ignore them as well, only wanting to focus on dancing. If they want to be childish and hold a grudge against them, they could, Jongin thinks. While they worry about how to be rude to him, he’ll worry about dancing and taking first place.
There isn’t much different about the studio. Jongin hasn’t been in weeks, he stopped going after nationals. There are new bars in the ballet warm up room and a new curtain in the auditorium. Everything else is the same though. Still same old scuffed floors and same old smudged mirrors. It feels like home though. More than his bed could ever feel.
When the warm up session begins, Jongin notices a new face in the room. One with big, bright, brown eyes and plump lips much like his own. The boy is a little shorter and with delicate black hair just long enough to cover his eyebrows. Jongin watches him in the mirror as they stretch. He’s flexible and doesn’t have any problems with their stretches.
Jongin wonders what the others have told the new boy about him. Have they told him that he’s a traitor? That he’s a horrible person? Perhaps they made up lies about why he’s been gone and the whole studio hates him. Jongin feels his lips curl down into a frown as he lifts his leg up, knee brushing against his shoulder.
xxx
“So you’re Jongin, huh?” The new boy smiles at him, hand on his hip and big eyes looking slightly up at him. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Jongin opens his mouth to sigh and ask for understanding but the new boy shakes his head and holds his hand up. “Number one dancer in the ballet department. Three time champion in South Korea.” The boy nods his head down to Jongin’s legs before continuing. “Broke your leg right before nationals.”
Jongin wants to smile and hug the other for not saying any negative things about him. He decides to hide his relief and smile softly at the other, hand reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. “Yeah, that’s me.”
The other reaches down to grab his water bottle. He opens the cap and takes a good sip before licking at his lips. “I’m Kyungsoo. New danseur.” Kyungsoo smiles as he fixes his tight tank top. “Just transferred here from the studio in Busan. Don’t tell anyone there but this place is a hell of a lot better.”
Jongin lets out a laugh at the comment. He nods and licks at his lips, stretching his arms out slowly behind him. Kyungsoo puts the cap on his water bottle and locks eyes with Jongin. “Are you headed to room B?”
“Yeah,” Jongin says with a smile, grabbing his bag off of the floor and hooking it over his shoulder. “You too?”
Kyungsoo nods. “Let’s walk together?”
The shorter boy is a lot better than Jongin imagined. He dances with precision like Sehun but has the emotions like Jongin. He’s far more talented than the other danseurs that Jongin’s seen come from Busan. Most of them are clumsy and severely lack technical knowledge and skill. It’s no wonder why Kyungsoo transferred to their theater. He was far better than everyone there. Even after watching him for only a few minutes, Jongin knows he’ll be a threat.
It takes almost an hour for Jongin to get back into things. He’s off for the first few run throughs of their new routine. Part of it is because he has his eyes on Kyungsoo and sometimes they wander to Sehun in the back. The other part is due to his leg still not being ready for such vigorous activity.
Their choreographer asks Jongin if he needs a break halfway through the day. Jongin shakes his head and lets out a breathy ‘no’. It’s the first dance as a group he’s done in almost a year and he has to show everyone that he’s ready to be back. He’s ready to take his spot as number one in the studio again. He wants to show his friends that he deserves to be there.
xxx
Midnight comes and goes and Jongin is still looking at himself in the mirror. His feet are hitting against the floor as he goes over the routine again. He’s almost positive he’s the only one left in the studio. Sehun is possibly in the next room over or in the showers. Other than him, no one else dares to stay this late.
Jongin’s leg hurts more than it did in the morning. His muscles are incredibly sore and each step he feels it shaking and ready to give out. It’s risky to keep dancing on it for longer, risking the possibility of him becoming hurt again. He’s willing to risk it again though. He knows it’ll pay off to have the extra studio time.
At half past one, Jongin turns off the music and grabs his bag. His legs hum and he feels like he’s still dancing as he stands still. His water bottle empties too fast and his mouth becomes dry again in only seconds. Jongin smiles because he couldn’t be happier to be back. It takes him a few minutes before he walks out of the room and into the hallway.
The first thing he sees when he walks outside is Sehun leaning against the wall. His eyes have bags under them as usual and his cheekbones are sticking out a little further than Jongin remembers. His tank top is covered by a heavier coat and there’s small puffs of air coming from his lips that dust the clear air.
“Hey,” Jongin says quietly as he lets the door to the theater shut behind him. He hasn’t attempted to talk to Sehun since nationals. He thought about sending him a text telling him he did a great job at the world competition, telling him that he’d do better next time, but decided against it. He knew he was the last person Sehun probably wanted to hear from.
Sehun crosses his arms over his chest and leans back against the wall more. Jongin sighs, running his hand through his hair as he steps in front of the taller one. “Listen, I get that you’re pissed at what happened, but it wasn’t like I did it on purpose.” Jongin watches as Sehun huffs silently, his weight shifting from one leg to another. “I’m really sorry and I’d like it if you didn’t treat me like complete shit for what happened.”
“And how do you think I felt, Jongin? I had to take over your dance and do it all alone.” Sehun says harshly, eyes piercing into Jongin’s. “I had so much stress on myself because of you.”
Jongin rolls his eyes, pushing on Sehun’s arm gently. “Can you not make this about yourself for once? Would you have rather had me dance with a broken leg? Don’t just be bitter because you didn’t win at worlds.”
It might have been too harsh, Jongin thinks as Sehun punches him in the jaw. He grips the spot while tumbling backwards a bit. Luckily he doesn’t fall onto the pavement of the parking lot and just tips backwards a bit. He sees Sehun walking towards him and Jongin prepares for another hit to the face or somewhere else. Only, Sehun stops when the studio door opens and the bright light shines out into the parking lot.
“What’s going on?”
Kyungsoo looks at them both with big eyes and a worried look laced in them. Jongin shakes his head and watches as Sehun grabs his bag off the ground. He flips it over his shoulder and steps down from the sidewalk, long legs taking him quickly through the parking lot. Jongin frowns because he knows Sehun is going to walk home. It’s something he always did when he was angry. It’s a long walk and Jongin hopes he’ll be okay.
“I take it you two have some issues to work out?” Kyungsoo laughs softly as he adjusts the bag on his shoulder.
“Kind of.” Jongin frowns, rubbing at his jaw as he picks up his bag, setting it down by his feet.
Kyungsoo tilts his head, letting his arm extend out and rub at the red mark on Jongin’s jaw. “Must be pretty serious to punch you like that.”
“Sehun’s always a little dramatic,” Jongin says with a small smile. He gasps as Kyungsoo presses his thumb down against the spot where he got punched. It hurts for only a second and then the pain is gone when Kyungsoo drops his hand.
“Make sure you ice it well tonight. It’ll be ugly if you don’t.”
Jongin watches as Kyungsoo steps off the sidewalk. He walks slowly to a car and slides in. It takes him a minute before Kyungsoo pulls out and drives out onto the road. Jongin sucks in a breath, fingers rubbing against his jaw as he picks up his bag and makes his way to his own car.
xxx
The bruise on his jaw doesn’t go away for almost two weeks. Jongin tries to cover it up with concealer to make it look not as bad but it doesn’t work. Anything he puts on, he sweats off in a few hours anyways. The other people in the studio give him weird looks when they see the bruise. He knows there’s a rumor going around that Sehun and him fought and Jongin doesn’t like that it’s not false.
He tries to ignore even more whispers and mean looks towards him. He ignores when Luhan gives Sehun a high five while pointing at him and grinning. It all fuels his desire to make his way back up to his spot and hopefully gain his respect again.
Jongin spends more than thirteen hours a day in the theater. He wakes up at seven and arrives at the studio by eight. He dances until midnight or one. Sometimes he only makes it until eleven if his legs give out or he begins to feel sick. Then he returns home right before two on the late nights and falls asleep by two-thirty. It starts back up the next day at seven and begins again.
Most nights end the same too. Jongin walks outside to see Sehun waiting for his ride which is usually Luhan. Jongin knows that Luhan goes home around nine, sleeps for a few hours then comes and picks up Sehun whenever he finishes. After Sehun leaves, Kyungsoo comes out from the studio, hair wet and heavy jacket keeping him warm.
xxx
“Do you want to go to the club?” Kyungsoo grins up at him as he ties his shoes. His hair is damp from the shower a few minutes ago and he pushes his bangs to the side when he stands up. “It’s Friday so they don’t close until five.”
Jongin’s brows furrow because he didn’t really expect Kyungsoo to be the clubbing type. None of them at the theater really were. Yixing occasionally went but it ended up him going to dance and that’s all. Perhaps that’s what Kyungsoo wanted to do. His grin says otherwise though.
“I don’t know. We have to be in the studio early tomorrow..”
Kyungsoo laughs and grabs onto Jongin’s hand. Jongin blinks and feels his palm begin to get sweaty the longer Kyungsoo holds it. “Oh come on! We’ve been practicing every day for nearly a month. We deserve some fun, don’t you think?”
He knows that Kyungsoo is right. It’s been years since Jongin’s actually gone out and done something other than dancing. He doesn’t take vacations and doesn’t want weekends free to do whatever he wants. His whole life is dedicated to dancing and that’s all it is. Jongin nods and lets his lips turn into a grin, laughing as Kyungsoo drags him out of the studio at a fast pace.
The club is only a few minutes away from the studio. Kyungsoo spends the ride talking about how great it is. He mentions that the bartender is friendly and might have a crush on him and how she always gives him a little more than allowed. Jongin shifts uncomfortably at the thought of drinking. He isn’t exactly opposed to it but he’d rather not. He wonders how old Kyungsoo is to be able to drink.
It’s a lot more obnoxious than Jongin expected. The music is louder and the heavy haze of smoke is thicker which makes him cover his nose. Kyungsoo laughs and brushes his lips against Jongin’s ear, slightly yelling that he’ll get used to it. There’s a hand on his arm that squeezes gently as they lock eyes and Kyungsoo smiles at him.
They settle down at the bar, squeezed between two older couples. Jongin feels out of place. Too young to be where he is. Kyungsoo keeps his hand on his thigh, thumb rubbing at the inside slowly as he orders drinks. He watches as the bartender bends down a little too far. Her cleavage shows far more than it should and Jongin doesn’t miss the smirk on Kyungsoo’s lips and how his eyes travel down to the low tank top.
“I told you she likes me,” Kyungsoo says as he pushes a small shot glass in front of Jongin. He lifts up his own, downing it quickly and letting his lips part with a small groan. “Drink up.”
Jongin smiles softly and gently pushes the shot glass away from himself. “I don’t drink.”
Kyungsoo laughs, hand squeezing at Jongin’s thigh. “Oh, don’t be a pussy. It’s one drink, alright? After this no more. Won’t pressure you.”
It takes a minute of thinking before Jongin grabs the glass and lets the liquid slide down his throat. It burns more than he remembers and it makes him cough for a few seconds. Kyungsoo laughs, hand coming up to ruffle at Jongin’s hair. Jongin lets out a small laugh as well, fingers shaking slightly.
After Kyungsoo takes three more shots, they end up on the dance floor. Jongin feels a little better because at least it gives him something to do. Even though he’s trained mainly in ballet doesn’t mean he can’t dance other things. There are several eyes on him and Kyungsoo as they dance together. Kyungsoo laughs and whispers how hot Jongin looks. It makes his cheeks heat up and he mutters a thanks, slightly stepping away from the other.
Soon Kyungsoo is far too close. His breath is hitting against Jongin’s cheek and his hands are wrapped around his shoulders. At some point Kyungsoo slips his thigh between Jongin’s. Their bodies touch and Jongin becomes aware of what Kyungsoo is trying to do. Lips are pressed against his jaw and there’s teeth gently nipping at the skin.
“I thought you were so hot the first time I saw you,” Kyungsoo says after he kisses his way up Jongin’s jaw. “Toned ass and thighs that could feel so good under my hands.” There’s a growl in his ear and then Kyungsoo’s kissing him, hot and hard.
Jongin doesn’t kiss back. His hands lay flat against Kyungsoo’s chest, pushing him away. Jongin stumbles back a bit, gently bumping into a girl. He shakes his head and wipes at his mouth. Kyungsoo laughs and holds his arms out. “Come here, it’s okay.”
It only takes a few seconds for Jongin to push his way past the crowd of people. He knows Kyungsoo is calling his name but all he can think about is getting out of the club and finding his way home.
( Part 2 )