(for baekmebacon) Twilight and Shadow - Part 2 of 2
For: baekmebacon
Title: Twilight and Shadow
It’s harder for Jongin to ignore Kyungsoo than he thought. Even though he didn’t get home until around three, and he’s guessing Kyungsoo didn’t get home until much later, both of them arrive around seven thirty. Kyungsoo is already in the warm up room. He’s sitting on the floor, legs stretched on either side of him and arms up in the air. Jongin doesn’t miss the grin on Kyungsoo’s lips when he meets his eyes.
There’s undeniable tension in the room while they all stretch and prepare for another long day. Jongin constantly catches Kyungsoo’s eyes watching him in the mirror. Every move he makes, Kyungsoo watches. Jongin stumbles a little more than usual when he lifts his leg up on the bar.
“Are you okay?” His choreographer whispers to him as they walk to the room they’ve been assigned to today.
Jongin nods, fingers tightening around the strap of his bag. “Yeah,” he breathes out, “just a long night is all. I’m good though.” Jongin smiles and his choreographer rubs his shoulder.
The group routine is coming along quickly. There’s only a few improvements that need to be made and Jongin knows they’ll be fixed quickly. It’s still almost a month until their next performance but they’ll be dancing it every day, regardless if the issues are already fixed. The routine had to be perfect every time, no matter how many times it was danced.
It only takes Jongin three run throughs before he’s nailing every step. Even with the lack of sleep, he’s doing better than he normally does. When the music pauses he thinks that maybe he should get less sleep more often. His senses are more alert and he can feel the music in him with each run through.
After three hours they get a half an hour break for food and time to rest. Jongin spends it in the hallway, pressed against the wall with a bowl of fruit in his hand. He wiggles his ankles, occasionally rolling them as he takes small bites of his watermelon.
“Great job so far.”
Jongin blinks and tugs one of the earbuds out when he sees a shadow by his legs. He looks up at sees Kyungsoo smiling down at him. The other groans out softly before sitting down next to him. Jongin watches as he opens a can of what looks to be an energy drink. His nose scrunches up and his toes curl slightly.
“You shouldn’t drink that.”
Kyungsoo ignores the comment and takes several sips, head tilted back and eyes watching Jongin. “Why,” he asks, tongue darting out to lick at his lips.
“It makes your heart rate faster. It’s already fast because of dancing. It’s not healthy to have it beat fast for too long.”
Jongin can tell that Kyungsoo doesn’t take his warning seriously. He laughs and finishes off the can, setting it next to his hip. “Relax. I need the energy anyways,” his shoulder bumps against Jongin’s, grin forming on his lips. “Last night was pretty nice, wasn’t it?”
He’s not exactly sure what to say to the question. Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to want an answer though and lets his hand land on Jongin’s thigh. He pats it lightly before getting up and walking down the hallway.
xxx
Jongin learns quickly that Kyungsoo is the only one that talks to him. The others still ignore him despite his apologies and attempts at recovering their relationships. It’s a worthless cause and Jongin decides to give up. He has more things to focus on. Important things. Friends can come later. Kyungsoo is all he needs, really. Even if he does touch his thigh a bit too much and is too clingy. Jongin likes the support.
Kyungsoo watches him every day. He watches him in the mirrors while they stretch. The mirrors while they dance. When Jongin works on his solo on the stage, he watches from the chairs in the audience. It’s unusual at first. Jongin isn’t used to the attention. Most people don’t watch him and focus on their own dancing. They don’t need the reminder that they’re all fighting for one spot.
“Try arching your foot a little more when you land that third jump,” Kyungsoo says as they stand outside one night. “It looks more graceful and it’ll definitely get you more beauty points.” Jongin nods, fingers tapping at the wall behind him. “And don’t forget to point your finger when you do the hand gesture.” Kyungsoo smiles, taking a sip of his water. “The one where your hand is against your lips. Gives more emotion.”
“Yeah, thanks.” Jongin nods, watching as Kyungsoo picks up his bag and lifts it over his shoulder.
“See you bright and early tomorrow?” Another nod and Jongin watches Kyungsoo walk to his car.
He doesn’t leave right away. There’s nothing truly keeping him. Other than his thoughts. It takes him another half an hour before he pushes himself off the wall and grabs his bag. He walks to his car slowly, not able to shake the feeling of something wrong.
xxx
It doesn’t come as a surprise when Kyungsoo is waiting in the seats of the auditorium. Jongin sets his water bottle down to the side and stretches his arms out in front of him. He tries to ignore Kyungsoo, act as if he isn’t there. Kyungsoo sees him though and doesn’t let him hide away.
“Alright Jongin! You’re going to kill it today!”
Kyungsoo claps his hands loudly, though it doesn’t have to be as loud as it is considering there’s no one else in the room. Jongin parts his lips, trying to force out a smile when he finally looks at Kyungsoo.
The other is nothing but distracting the whole time Jongin dances. He’s screaming out tips and trying to get Jongin to do better. Not even his choreographer is in the room, he’s off working with the other dancers on their own solos. And his choreographer isn’t nearly as obnoxious and demanding as Kyungsoo.
Jongin curls his toes up a bit too much on one landing when Kyungsoo pulls himself on the stage and stands in front of Jongin, arms crossed in front of his chest. He tries not to let it show but Kyungsoo catches it and demands he stops. Jongin shakes his head, saying that he’s fine. When he takes a step, it’s proven wrong when pain shoots up his foot and causes him to wince.
“You’re landing too hard. Too much curl of the toes. Try relaxing more.”
Jongin wants to mention that if Kyungsoo didn’t scream and clap at him every five minutes that he would be relaxed. He has no problem dancing in front of the choreographer or the other dancers. It’s only Kyungsoo. As annoying as he is though, in the back of his mind, Jongin knows he doesn’t want Kyungsoo to leave. Leave the auditorium for a few days yes, but leaving as his support system, no. He’s the only one still clapping for his success.
xxx
The regional competition comes sooner than Jongin would like. It’s not the biggest competition. There’s no huge rewards or anything at stake. It’s just another title and some cash to the one who can impress the judges the most. There’s still a first place and that’s what Jongin aims for.
Group performances are first. Jongin’s theater is set to go forth and he knows the audience is anticipating it. They aren’t high up in the ranks for nothing. No matter how many times Jongin dances in front of others, the nerves are still the same before each performance.
“Nervous?” Jongin jumps when he feels hands on his shoulders and a whisper in his ear. He quickly pushes the hands off and turns around, only to be met with Kyungsoo’s bright eyes staring at him. “Relax, gosh. You always this jumpy before dancing?”
Jongin clears his throat and shakes his head, curling his fingers against his shirt. “No, sorry. You just scared me.”
Kyungsoo’s lips curl into a grin. His hand runs down Jongin’s side at a slow pace, making his back arch slightly and a shiver run through his body. Kyungsoo’s hand isn’t the only thing on his skin because when Jongin goes to move out of his touch, Kyungsoo presses his lips against Jongin’s cheek.
As quick as the kiss is given, Kyungsoo pulls away and pats at the same spot with his hand. “Come on, it’s our turn.”
It’s hard to concentrate as he dances. Normally Jongin is focused, tuning out everything, even his thoughts. The small kiss is still on his mind and he can feel Kyungsoo’s eyes on him. To make it worse, Kyungsoo whispers to him that he’s doing great as they pass each other. He stumbles on their last jump and Jongin prays that it’s not a big enough mistake to cost them a placing.
The others noticed and he has to avoid several glares while going off the stage. It’s not like him to mess up on a performance, especially one that they’ve been practicing for a month and a half. Sehun gives him a stare hard enough to actually cause pain. Even the choreographer is giving him a look of anger. Jongin knows the routine better than anyone and for him to be the one to mess it up is more than just disappointment.
“That was great!” Kyungsoo smiles, grabbing Jongin’s shoulders once they’re backstage. “It’s been so long since I’ve performed with a group. You did amazing too, as always.” The hands on his shoulders are pulled back and Kyungsoo claps. His eyes are curved into small crescents and his smile is beaming.
“Thanks,” he breathes out, “but I messed up.”
Kyungsoo shrugs, hand falling to his hip. “So what? It wasn’t a big mistake. Besides, I could tell the judges remember you. They’ll probably give you extra points just for you being you.” Kyungsoo smiles, hand patting at Jongin’s arm. “It’s your first competition since you’ve been back. I know you’ll have no trouble getting first.” Jongin watches Kyungsoo nod before he parts his lips again to speak. “I’ll be the loudest one clapping when you win.”
And the win does come. Jongin performs his best when it’s his turn for solos. The song is a much harder song than he’s used to. He doesn’t mind at all though. He’d rather come back with a difficult song and blow the judges away than play it safe.
Just as Kyungsoo said, he’s the one standing up for the longest, clapping as loud as he can as soon as Jongin’s name is announced.
xxx
Dancing for a theater is a vicious cycle. Jongin trains for a month for a competition, puts everything he has into the dances. They compete, then a day or two later there’s another competition announced and they have to train again. Jongin’s glad that it’s what he’s dedicated his life to and he loves it because if he didn’t, there would be no way he could keep up.
Their next set of dances is for a bigger competition. A step down from nationals is regionals. Jongin has won at regionals every time he’s competed. Scored with high marks and a large gap between other dancers. He isn’t worried, knowing he’s well enough to dance to place first again.
They all meet in the warm up room. Legs are stretched out on the floor and some hands are holding bodies up as they listen to their leader. She explains how there are more theaters and studios entering this time around. Ones that weren’t previously a threat but now have become one. She says she doesn’t want to worry about them placing, yet the feeling starts to tingle in her mind.
“We’re going to have three solos at this competition instead of two like last year.” Jongin smiles, knowing that he’s already got a place. At almost any competition, he has a solo. It’s not a wonder why either. “First is Jongin.”
The other dancers clap half-heartedly only because they’re required to do so. Normally it would be hand pats on his back and congratulations. It’s different this time and Jongin focuses on the leader instead of the lack of support. The only person still clapping when they all stop is Kyungsoo.
“Then it’s Sehun.” At his name, Jongin hears the commotion he would usually get. Sehun has a large grin on his face and a blush on his cheeks. Jongin watches as several hands pat all over Sehun’s body. Some hands grab his shoulders and shake and others wiggle his arms. He presses his lips together before returning to the woman in front of them.
“And our third, newest solo is Kyungsoo.”
It comes as a surprise that Kyungsoo is the third one for a solo. Jongin expected Luhan or Yixing to take it. Having three people from the ballet section wasn’t how it normally went. Jongin can see the confused faces in the mirror and Luhan looks disappointed. Jongin himself is confused. Other than practicing for the group number, he hasn’t seen Kyungsoo dance. Whenever they finished with that dance, Jongin would go off to practice his own solo and Kyungsoo would watch him the whole time. He wouldn’t move until Jongin packed up at twelve and left.
The leader announces the duets next. Luhan and Yixing. Sehun and Jongin. Then a few other names he doesn’t pay attention to from the jazz section. Jongin can see Sehun’s eyes staring at him through the mirror. It’ll be the first time they work together since the accident. Jongin knows no matter how hard he’ll try to rekindle their relationship, it will only fall to deaf ears. But he also knows that Sehun wants to win and won’t let his emotions get in the way of their victory.
No time is wasted in the day and minutes after stretches, they’re all assigned practice rooms. Jongin works on his duet first. The music is more Sehun’s style and he has trouble picking it up the first few times they go through the steps. It comes quicker after the fifth time and by the seventh, they’re dancing in sync. Sehun doesn’t give him any mean looks or any hits. They dance silently but effectively. That’s all Jongin needs.
At one is when Jongin leaves Sehun so they both can work on their solos. When Jongin steps out on the stage, he’s met with a bright smile and wide eyes. He sucks in a breath and sets his bag to the side, kicking it away from the main part of the stage.
“Jongin!” Kyungsoo stands up, sliding out of his seat and jogs down to the stage. “I can’t wait to see your solo dance. Even in the first go, I bet you’ll nail it.”
Jongin doesn’t know what comes over him. Perhaps it’s exhaustion. Perhaps annoyance and how he’s nearly fed up with Kyungsoo staring at him whenever he does anything. The words come out quickly and Jongin doesn’t have time to stop them. “Don’t you have your own dance to work on?” Not only does it come out quickly, it comes out harsher than Jongin intended it to.
The other doesn’t seem bothered by the comment though. His lips are curled up to a grin and Kyungsoo places his hand on Jongin’s leg. “I’ve already finished for the day.”
Instead of arguing with Kyungsoo, Jongin nods and continues to do his stretches. He hopes that as long as the choreographer is there, Kyungsoo won’t be as obnoxious as he usually is. Even if he is, Jongin will try his best to ignore him and focus on his dancing.
It doesn’t take long for Jongin to pick up the moves. They’re difficult but nothing Jongin can’t handle. Even on his first few times dancing it, he dances like it’s his final time. Giving all his emotions and power into it. Even if there are no judges or anyone taking score, he feels like there is. It gives him enough pressure to keep his focus.
Kyungsoo doesn’t make any noise while Jongin dances. He doesn’t shout any encouraging words or helpful advice. He only sits in the chair with a smile and his eyes watching. Jongin can see him sometimes. His eyes catches the other’s as he takes a jump or turns towards his direction. They make him shiver and he occasionally stumbles because of how direct they are.
Kyungsoo only claps when Jongin gets the routine right for the first time.
xxx
“You’ve been stumbling and tripping a lot,” Kyungsoo says, arms resting on top of the stage. “I think you should take a break.”
Jongin wants to tell him that if Kyungsoo didn’t stare at him while he dances he would be fine. He’s almost certain that Kyungsoo would tell him that hundreds of people will be staring at him when he dances for the competition and if he can handle that, he can handle Kyungsoo’s eyes. But Kyungsoo is different. He watches with a different kind of eyes. Jongin isn’t exactly sure how to describe it. They make his body feel cold and shivers run up his spine. He sees the whites of his eyes when he turns during his dancing and they haunt him.
“It’s fine. I need the practice.”
Kyungsoo laughs, chin leaning on his arm as he locks eyes with Jongin. “The competition is tomorrow. You’ve practiced enough, don’t you think?” Kyungsoo smiles, standing up straight and stretching his arms up. “Why don’t we go out? Have a little fun.”
“Shouldn’t you get some more practice in?” Jongin stands up, pushing his hair back and grabbing his water bottle. “You’ve spent all day in here.”
“I don’t need the practice. I’m good.”
Kyungsoo follows Jongin out of the auditorium and to the changing rooms. He leans against the lockers and watches Jongin’s every move. Jongin doesn’t have a problem with other people seeing him naked. He showers with the other danseurs most days anyways. He has nothing to hide and there isn’t a reason to feel uncomfortable around them. Kyungsoo is different. Jongin excuses himself to the bathroom to change.
“Let’s go to the club,” Kyungsoo says when Jongin opens the door to the bathroom. He’s directly in front of him, grin wide and proud.
Jongin shakes his head, brows furrowing and hands gripping at his clothes tighter. “We have the competition tomorrow.”
“No drinks. Just dancing and having a good time. I promise.”
xxx
Jongin didn’t have much of a choice on whether he would stay or go with Kyungsoo. The latter grabbed him by the hand and dragged him out of the studio. He had the same grin on his lips as he did the first time they went to the club together. The same hand on Jongin’s thigh that made shivers run up his body.
As Kyungsoo promised, they don’t go over to the bar. Kyungsoo takes them out to the dance floor and Jongin begins to feel a bit better. He’d still rather be at home getting rest than at a club but he doesn’t feel like mentioning it.
“I remember how well you danced the next morning last time we went out,” Kyungsoo whispers against his ear. “You were crazy!” Kyungsoo runs his hand down Jongin’s side, fingers curling around his hip. “I bet tomorrow you’ll be even better.” Jongin can’t help but close his eyes and arch his back when he feels Kyungsoo’s lips curl into a smirk against his ear.
When two passes, Jongin tells Kyungsoo he’s going to get some water. Kyungsoo shakes his head and insists that he go get it. Jongin watches as Kyungsoo pushes his way through the crowd and then disappears.
He finds his way to a set of couches. Jongin sits down on one, room spinning slightly due to the loud music and smoke that he’s inhaled over the last hour. When Kyungsoo gets back, he’ll ask if they can go home. There’s only five more hours until they have to be dressed and back at the studio to leave for competition.
“Here,” Kyungsoo says with a bright smile as he sits down next to him. “Plain water, just for you.”
Jongin takes a hesitant sip. After confirming that it is just water, he downs it quickly, not realizing just how thirsty he was. The cup gets set down on the small coffee table by his feet. Jongin watches as Kyungsoo’s lips turn into a grin.
xxx
He isn’t sure how it happened. Jongin isn’t in his right mind and his body isn’t either. He hovers over Kyungsoo, nails digging into his shoulders and thighs quivering around his waist. Kyungsoo’s lips are on his neck and they press kisses downwards towards his chest. Kyungsoo’s cock is pushed in all the way, only becoming shallow when Jongin lifts his hips to push them down again.
His fingers tremble against Kyungsoo’s shoulders and his head leans back in pleasure. Kyungsoo grips at the hips above his and thrusts upwards, breaking Jongin’s rhythm. Jongin chokes out a moan when Kyungsoo’s cock presses against the spot that feels too good in him. Jongin isn’t a virgin but it’s been far too long since he’s had any kind of sexual contact.
“You’re such an amazing dancer,” Kyungsoo moans out when he flips Jongin on his back. “I can’t wait to see you perform.” The hands on his hips grip so tightly, Jongin thinks his hips might break.
xxx
Jongin is almost certain that whatever Kyungsoo slipped into his drink hours ago, is still lingering in his body. There’s an undeniable hum throughout that makes his fingers twitch and his legs unable to be still. He hasn’t gotten any sleep, so he thinks. If he did, it wasn’t much. He remembers the time being around five when Kyungsoo pushed him on his bed. It was now almost seven thirty and he doesn’t have much recollection of what happened in those two hours.
Everyone on the bus is quiet. Most of them exhausted from a long day of practice the day before. Luhan is asleep on Sehun’s shoulder, blanket covering his body and earbuds in. Sehun himself has his head leaned back and eyes shut, trying to catch as much sleep as he can on the hour bus ride. Jongin shuts his own eyes after some time, hoping to rid away the strange feeling in his body and get some much needed sleep.
The ipod only gets through three songs before he feels someone next to him. Jongin opens his eyes, tilting his head to see a familiar head of black hair and big eyes looking at him. Kyungsoo grins, hand on Jongin’s shoulder. Jongin sucks in a breath, pulling his body away from Kyungsoo’s as he takes his earbuds out.
“I was trying to sleep,” Jongin says, brows furrowing and legs stretching out.
“Sorry. I just wanted to come say thanks for last night.” He smiles and leans back against the seat, hair sprawling out on the headrest behind him. “I had a lot of fun. Totally relaxed for today.”
“Yeah,” he breathes out. He doesn’t listen to the other things Kyungsoo says as he puts in his earbuds and turns his music up higher.
When Jongin wakes, Kyungsoo is no longer sitting next to him. The other dancers are standing up, grabbing their bags and walking to get off of the bus. Jongin sucks in a breath and doesn’t take the time to stretch out and get himself awake. He grabs his things and hurries off the bus, eyes half shut and legs wobbly.
The theater is one that he’s been to before. There have been several big wins on the stage and happy memories that come with it. Jongin won his first award here and he’s excited to add another one to the mix. He just hopes that he wakes up enough in time to perform.
xxx
Jongin spends the warm up time stretching and running over the steps of his solo. He’s confident that his duet with Sehun will go well and decides to focus on his own dance more. He watches himself in the mirror with concentrated eyes, making sure that he meets every step and movement perfectly.
He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous. It’s probably the most nervous he’s been in a while. Not even his first performance back then made him feel this nervous. He thinks it might have to do with the fact that he barely remembers anything from last night. His lack of sleep has an effect as well. There’s also a dull pain in his waist and thighs that make dancing harder than usual.
“Hey!” Kyungsoo peeks his head in the room, smiling and black bag in hand. “I think we grabbed the wrong bags this morning before leaving. This is yours. I think you have my shoes too.”
Jongin nods, eyes back on the mirror as the music restarts in his ears. He expects Kyungsoo to stay in the room and watch like he usually does. After he grabs the ballet shoes out and switches the bags, he smiles and waves before walking out of the room. It’s a relief because the last thing he needs is Kyungsoo staring at him right before the performance.
After the tenth run through, Jongin checks the time. He has only fifteen minutes before he needs to perform his solo. It’s enough time to run through one or two more times but he decides against it. He needs to take the time to get into his costume and make sure his makeup is correct. Even though his performance was mostly about the routine and technique, it also has to do with the costume and appearance of the dancer. If Jongin lost because he was missing style points, he would never let himself live it down.
Everything looks and feels right until Jongin stands up and starts to make his way out of the room. His feet slide against the floor, more than they should. Jongin gasps and grips onto one of the chairs to keep himself from falling. His brows furrow and his hand tightens around the chair as he lifts his leg up to look at his shoes. The tops of them look the same. His initials are peeking out from underneath the laces and they fit the same. Jongin blinks and thinks maybe it’s just the floor.
The slipping isn’t any better as he makes his way through the hallway to the stage. He has to grab onto the wall several times and his legs are straining from trying to keep his body from sliding. Jongin hears his name being called and he tries his best to make it over to his leader without falling.
“Jongin! You’re on in two, what are you doing?” She yells, hand running through her hair and fingers curling around the blonde locks.
“Sorry, my shoes are really slippery. Do you have any extra?”
She sighs and shakes her head. “What do you mean they’re slippery, Jongin. Stop messing around and get over to the stage.”
Jongin wants to argue with her, wants to tell her that if he goes up on stage with how his shoes are that he’ll fall. But she pushes him towards the curtains and Jongin waits until she’s gone to check the bottom of his shoes. The soles haven’t been scored at all. They’re smooth and fresh as if Jongin just bought them at the store this morning.
It hits him a little too late when he’s being pushed out on the stage. Kyungsoo took his shoes. Jongin knows that his shoes have more years than most people’s and have been scored to perfection. The shoes on his feet aren’t his but Kyungsoo’s or another pair. Jongin looks around in search for Kyungsoo. He only catches him sitting in the audience when the music starts.
Jongin knows he has no choice but to dance. The first step makes Jongin’s feet slide a little too far forward. He can’t hide the shock on his face and he can see the crowd look confused. Jongin feels his heart beating a little too fast and he starts to feel lightheaded. The buzz in his body still hasn’t faded. His lack of sleep is making the room spin and Jongin finds it difficult to gain his balance.
His feet slip more often than not and on his first jump, Jongin tumbles to the ground. There’s a collective gasp and Jongin tries to pull himself together. As he stands up, he sees Kyungsoo. He’s seated in the same place he’s been sitting every day at the studio. His eyes are bright and there’s a grin on his lips. The grin only widens when Jongin stands up and slips again.
On the third jump, Jongin’s leg lands too hard. His ankle twists and he falls to the floor. It’s the same pain that he felt when he first broke his leg, only everything is emphasized. His hands grip at his leg and he chokes out a sob. The music is stopped and all he hears is silence and his own crying.
Suddenly, there is a loud clapping echoing throughout the auditorium. Jongin looks up, eyes having trouble focusing on the crowd of people through his tears and bright lights on him. After they focus, he sees Kyungsoo standing up, hands coming together quickly. His lips are curled up into a grin and there’s a dark look in his eyes.
Jongin doesn’t get the chance to yell out at him as his choreographer and leader help him off stage. They pull him over to a chair and help him sit down. Jongin grips his leg, choking out a sob as his leader wraps her hands around it and presses down with her fingers. He knows that it’s serious. If it’s not broken, his muscles are strained at least. It isn’t a simple injury that Jongin can push his way through.
He sees the other dancers from his studio gather around. Jongin covers his face, not wanting to look at their disgusted looks that they’ll give. He’s let them down again and he doesn’t want to deal with the same treatment once more. He hears Luhan ask if he’s okay. Yixing puts his hand on his shoulder and Sehun whispers something that sounds like a worried statement.
They all help him away from the stage and back into the dressing room. His leader gives him a pack of ice to put on his leg and tells him to rest. Jongin feels his heart drop when he sees the looks in his fellow dancers eyes. They don’t look angry but worried. Sehun has bits of tears in his eyes and Jongin does too when realizes that he’s left Sehun alone again.
“Jongin!” Kyungsoo smiles brightly as he walks into the room. The rest of the dancers look at him with confused faces. “I hope you’re okay,” he says quietly, grin still on his lips. “But don’t worry. I know your dances. I can cover for you.”
“Kyungsoo, do you really know them?”
Instead of answering the choreographer, Kyungsoo decides to show him instead. Jongin watches with lips pressed tightly together as Kyungsoo dances the routine for his duo with Sehun. And he’s right. He does know them. Each move is sharp and on point. It only takes a minute for the choreographer to tell him that he can dance with Sehun. He ushers the rest of the dancers out and tells Kyungsoo to get changed and be ready in ten minutes.
When the door shuts, Jongin’s eyes meet Kyungsoo’s. He sucks in a breath and tries to calm himself before speaking. Perhaps it was a misunderstanding. Perhaps Kyungsoo didn’t do it on purpose. But the grin on Kyungsoo’s lips is proving all of his thoughts wrong.
“Why did you do that? What have I done to you?”
Kyungsoo sighs with a smile. His hands land on his hips and he licks at his lips. “I’ve been trying to be number one in this country for a very long time, Jongin. You’ve always been there to take it away. No matter how hard I trained or how hard of dances I picked, you always danced better than me.” Kyungsoo bites at his bottom lip, letting his head shake as he laughs. “You don’t even look like you’re trying half of the time. Your sleepy eyes and smiling face. Like it’s nothing to you. When I’ve been killing myself to be in your spot.”
Jongin laughs, brows furrowing and body straightening up. There’s a sharp pain in his leg as he moves but he tries to ignore it. “So this is all just jealousy?”
“You could call it that, sure. But to me it’s more of me putting you in your place.” Kyungsoo nods, smirk curling the corner of his lips up. “Obviously I had to befriend you first. Had to watch how you dance and learn why you’re so good. Why do you think I sat and watched you for these last months. I watched every step you took just so this moment could come and I could take your spot.”
Jongin sits quietly, unable to think of what to say. His heart flutters and he swallows thickly. “But you’ve always been so supportive,” Jongin says in a whisper. “You never said anything bad to me.. even when I didn’t do good, you still told me I was great.”
There’s an odd feeling in Jongin’s body when Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything. He rips through Jongin’s bag and pulls out the costume that is for his duet with Sehun. Kyungsoo makes his way to the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it behind him. Jongin wants to get up. He wants to go tell his leader and the choreographer, and even Sehun that Kyungsoo can’t dance his part. He doesn’t deserve to. That his injury wasn’t an accident but a sabotage.
Kyungsoo doesn’t deserve to take Jongin’s place. Even as good as a dancer as he is, he’s only fueled by negative feelings. Jongin’s always been nice. Never once had he been mean to any of his fellow dancers. He would never wish them harm. All of them work hard and are where they are because of it. But Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo didn’t work at all. He sat back and watched his plan unfold and he took what was Jongin’s.
His thoughts stop when Kyungsoo walks back out, fully dressed and ready to go on stage. There’s still the sickening grin on his face that makes Jongin feel nauseous. “Jongin, dear.” The nickname makes Jongin swallow and hold back a gag. Kyungsoo’s fingers wrap around Jongin’s chin, tilting his head up so their eyes meet. “You had no one paying attention to you. No one will ever figure out that it wasn’t an accident. I’m your only friend and let’s be honest here, who will they believe?”
Kyungsoo leans down and presses his lips against Jongin’s. Jongin coughs and bites down hard on Kyungsoo’s lip. The other doesn’t react and only moves back enough so their eyes meet. Jongin can see the small red mark on Kyungsoo’s lips and a drop of blood beginning to pool. “Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading.” He tilts his head and lets his whispers brush against Jongin’s lips. “People like a show.” Kyungsoo laughs, fingers gripping at Jongin’s chin. “And I sure did enjoy it.”
Title: Twilight and Shadow
It’s harder for Jongin to ignore Kyungsoo than he thought. Even though he didn’t get home until around three, and he’s guessing Kyungsoo didn’t get home until much later, both of them arrive around seven thirty. Kyungsoo is already in the warm up room. He’s sitting on the floor, legs stretched on either side of him and arms up in the air. Jongin doesn’t miss the grin on Kyungsoo’s lips when he meets his eyes.
There’s undeniable tension in the room while they all stretch and prepare for another long day. Jongin constantly catches Kyungsoo’s eyes watching him in the mirror. Every move he makes, Kyungsoo watches. Jongin stumbles a little more than usual when he lifts his leg up on the bar.
“Are you okay?” His choreographer whispers to him as they walk to the room they’ve been assigned to today.
Jongin nods, fingers tightening around the strap of his bag. “Yeah,” he breathes out, “just a long night is all. I’m good though.” Jongin smiles and his choreographer rubs his shoulder.
The group routine is coming along quickly. There’s only a few improvements that need to be made and Jongin knows they’ll be fixed quickly. It’s still almost a month until their next performance but they’ll be dancing it every day, regardless if the issues are already fixed. The routine had to be perfect every time, no matter how many times it was danced.
It only takes Jongin three run throughs before he’s nailing every step. Even with the lack of sleep, he’s doing better than he normally does. When the music pauses he thinks that maybe he should get less sleep more often. His senses are more alert and he can feel the music in him with each run through.
After three hours they get a half an hour break for food and time to rest. Jongin spends it in the hallway, pressed against the wall with a bowl of fruit in his hand. He wiggles his ankles, occasionally rolling them as he takes small bites of his watermelon.
“Great job so far.”
Jongin blinks and tugs one of the earbuds out when he sees a shadow by his legs. He looks up at sees Kyungsoo smiling down at him. The other groans out softly before sitting down next to him. Jongin watches as he opens a can of what looks to be an energy drink. His nose scrunches up and his toes curl slightly.
“You shouldn’t drink that.”
Kyungsoo ignores the comment and takes several sips, head tilted back and eyes watching Jongin. “Why,” he asks, tongue darting out to lick at his lips.
“It makes your heart rate faster. It’s already fast because of dancing. It’s not healthy to have it beat fast for too long.”
Jongin can tell that Kyungsoo doesn’t take his warning seriously. He laughs and finishes off the can, setting it next to his hip. “Relax. I need the energy anyways,” his shoulder bumps against Jongin’s, grin forming on his lips. “Last night was pretty nice, wasn’t it?”
He’s not exactly sure what to say to the question. Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to want an answer though and lets his hand land on Jongin’s thigh. He pats it lightly before getting up and walking down the hallway.
xxx
Jongin learns quickly that Kyungsoo is the only one that talks to him. The others still ignore him despite his apologies and attempts at recovering their relationships. It’s a worthless cause and Jongin decides to give up. He has more things to focus on. Important things. Friends can come later. Kyungsoo is all he needs, really. Even if he does touch his thigh a bit too much and is too clingy. Jongin likes the support.
Kyungsoo watches him every day. He watches him in the mirrors while they stretch. The mirrors while they dance. When Jongin works on his solo on the stage, he watches from the chairs in the audience. It’s unusual at first. Jongin isn’t used to the attention. Most people don’t watch him and focus on their own dancing. They don’t need the reminder that they’re all fighting for one spot.
“Try arching your foot a little more when you land that third jump,” Kyungsoo says as they stand outside one night. “It looks more graceful and it’ll definitely get you more beauty points.” Jongin nods, fingers tapping at the wall behind him. “And don’t forget to point your finger when you do the hand gesture.” Kyungsoo smiles, taking a sip of his water. “The one where your hand is against your lips. Gives more emotion.”
“Yeah, thanks.” Jongin nods, watching as Kyungsoo picks up his bag and lifts it over his shoulder.
“See you bright and early tomorrow?” Another nod and Jongin watches Kyungsoo walk to his car.
He doesn’t leave right away. There’s nothing truly keeping him. Other than his thoughts. It takes him another half an hour before he pushes himself off the wall and grabs his bag. He walks to his car slowly, not able to shake the feeling of something wrong.
xxx
It doesn’t come as a surprise when Kyungsoo is waiting in the seats of the auditorium. Jongin sets his water bottle down to the side and stretches his arms out in front of him. He tries to ignore Kyungsoo, act as if he isn’t there. Kyungsoo sees him though and doesn’t let him hide away.
“Alright Jongin! You’re going to kill it today!”
Kyungsoo claps his hands loudly, though it doesn’t have to be as loud as it is considering there’s no one else in the room. Jongin parts his lips, trying to force out a smile when he finally looks at Kyungsoo.
The other is nothing but distracting the whole time Jongin dances. He’s screaming out tips and trying to get Jongin to do better. Not even his choreographer is in the room, he’s off working with the other dancers on their own solos. And his choreographer isn’t nearly as obnoxious and demanding as Kyungsoo.
Jongin curls his toes up a bit too much on one landing when Kyungsoo pulls himself on the stage and stands in front of Jongin, arms crossed in front of his chest. He tries not to let it show but Kyungsoo catches it and demands he stops. Jongin shakes his head, saying that he’s fine. When he takes a step, it’s proven wrong when pain shoots up his foot and causes him to wince.
“You’re landing too hard. Too much curl of the toes. Try relaxing more.”
Jongin wants to mention that if Kyungsoo didn’t scream and clap at him every five minutes that he would be relaxed. He has no problem dancing in front of the choreographer or the other dancers. It’s only Kyungsoo. As annoying as he is though, in the back of his mind, Jongin knows he doesn’t want Kyungsoo to leave. Leave the auditorium for a few days yes, but leaving as his support system, no. He’s the only one still clapping for his success.
xxx
The regional competition comes sooner than Jongin would like. It’s not the biggest competition. There’s no huge rewards or anything at stake. It’s just another title and some cash to the one who can impress the judges the most. There’s still a first place and that’s what Jongin aims for.
Group performances are first. Jongin’s theater is set to go forth and he knows the audience is anticipating it. They aren’t high up in the ranks for nothing. No matter how many times Jongin dances in front of others, the nerves are still the same before each performance.
“Nervous?” Jongin jumps when he feels hands on his shoulders and a whisper in his ear. He quickly pushes the hands off and turns around, only to be met with Kyungsoo’s bright eyes staring at him. “Relax, gosh. You always this jumpy before dancing?”
Jongin clears his throat and shakes his head, curling his fingers against his shirt. “No, sorry. You just scared me.”
Kyungsoo’s lips curl into a grin. His hand runs down Jongin’s side at a slow pace, making his back arch slightly and a shiver run through his body. Kyungsoo’s hand isn’t the only thing on his skin because when Jongin goes to move out of his touch, Kyungsoo presses his lips against Jongin’s cheek.
As quick as the kiss is given, Kyungsoo pulls away and pats at the same spot with his hand. “Come on, it’s our turn.”
It’s hard to concentrate as he dances. Normally Jongin is focused, tuning out everything, even his thoughts. The small kiss is still on his mind and he can feel Kyungsoo’s eyes on him. To make it worse, Kyungsoo whispers to him that he’s doing great as they pass each other. He stumbles on their last jump and Jongin prays that it’s not a big enough mistake to cost them a placing.
The others noticed and he has to avoid several glares while going off the stage. It’s not like him to mess up on a performance, especially one that they’ve been practicing for a month and a half. Sehun gives him a stare hard enough to actually cause pain. Even the choreographer is giving him a look of anger. Jongin knows the routine better than anyone and for him to be the one to mess it up is more than just disappointment.
“That was great!” Kyungsoo smiles, grabbing Jongin’s shoulders once they’re backstage. “It’s been so long since I’ve performed with a group. You did amazing too, as always.” The hands on his shoulders are pulled back and Kyungsoo claps. His eyes are curved into small crescents and his smile is beaming.
“Thanks,” he breathes out, “but I messed up.”
Kyungsoo shrugs, hand falling to his hip. “So what? It wasn’t a big mistake. Besides, I could tell the judges remember you. They’ll probably give you extra points just for you being you.” Kyungsoo smiles, hand patting at Jongin’s arm. “It’s your first competition since you’ve been back. I know you’ll have no trouble getting first.” Jongin watches Kyungsoo nod before he parts his lips again to speak. “I’ll be the loudest one clapping when you win.”
And the win does come. Jongin performs his best when it’s his turn for solos. The song is a much harder song than he’s used to. He doesn’t mind at all though. He’d rather come back with a difficult song and blow the judges away than play it safe.
Just as Kyungsoo said, he’s the one standing up for the longest, clapping as loud as he can as soon as Jongin’s name is announced.
xxx
Dancing for a theater is a vicious cycle. Jongin trains for a month for a competition, puts everything he has into the dances. They compete, then a day or two later there’s another competition announced and they have to train again. Jongin’s glad that it’s what he’s dedicated his life to and he loves it because if he didn’t, there would be no way he could keep up.
Their next set of dances is for a bigger competition. A step down from nationals is regionals. Jongin has won at regionals every time he’s competed. Scored with high marks and a large gap between other dancers. He isn’t worried, knowing he’s well enough to dance to place first again.
They all meet in the warm up room. Legs are stretched out on the floor and some hands are holding bodies up as they listen to their leader. She explains how there are more theaters and studios entering this time around. Ones that weren’t previously a threat but now have become one. She says she doesn’t want to worry about them placing, yet the feeling starts to tingle in her mind.
“We’re going to have three solos at this competition instead of two like last year.” Jongin smiles, knowing that he’s already got a place. At almost any competition, he has a solo. It’s not a wonder why either. “First is Jongin.”
The other dancers clap half-heartedly only because they’re required to do so. Normally it would be hand pats on his back and congratulations. It’s different this time and Jongin focuses on the leader instead of the lack of support. The only person still clapping when they all stop is Kyungsoo.
“Then it’s Sehun.” At his name, Jongin hears the commotion he would usually get. Sehun has a large grin on his face and a blush on his cheeks. Jongin watches as several hands pat all over Sehun’s body. Some hands grab his shoulders and shake and others wiggle his arms. He presses his lips together before returning to the woman in front of them.
“And our third, newest solo is Kyungsoo.”
It comes as a surprise that Kyungsoo is the third one for a solo. Jongin expected Luhan or Yixing to take it. Having three people from the ballet section wasn’t how it normally went. Jongin can see the confused faces in the mirror and Luhan looks disappointed. Jongin himself is confused. Other than practicing for the group number, he hasn’t seen Kyungsoo dance. Whenever they finished with that dance, Jongin would go off to practice his own solo and Kyungsoo would watch him the whole time. He wouldn’t move until Jongin packed up at twelve and left.
The leader announces the duets next. Luhan and Yixing. Sehun and Jongin. Then a few other names he doesn’t pay attention to from the jazz section. Jongin can see Sehun’s eyes staring at him through the mirror. It’ll be the first time they work together since the accident. Jongin knows no matter how hard he’ll try to rekindle their relationship, it will only fall to deaf ears. But he also knows that Sehun wants to win and won’t let his emotions get in the way of their victory.
No time is wasted in the day and minutes after stretches, they’re all assigned practice rooms. Jongin works on his duet first. The music is more Sehun’s style and he has trouble picking it up the first few times they go through the steps. It comes quicker after the fifth time and by the seventh, they’re dancing in sync. Sehun doesn’t give him any mean looks or any hits. They dance silently but effectively. That’s all Jongin needs.
At one is when Jongin leaves Sehun so they both can work on their solos. When Jongin steps out on the stage, he’s met with a bright smile and wide eyes. He sucks in a breath and sets his bag to the side, kicking it away from the main part of the stage.
“Jongin!” Kyungsoo stands up, sliding out of his seat and jogs down to the stage. “I can’t wait to see your solo dance. Even in the first go, I bet you’ll nail it.”
Jongin doesn’t know what comes over him. Perhaps it’s exhaustion. Perhaps annoyance and how he’s nearly fed up with Kyungsoo staring at him whenever he does anything. The words come out quickly and Jongin doesn’t have time to stop them. “Don’t you have your own dance to work on?” Not only does it come out quickly, it comes out harsher than Jongin intended it to.
The other doesn’t seem bothered by the comment though. His lips are curled up to a grin and Kyungsoo places his hand on Jongin’s leg. “I’ve already finished for the day.”
Instead of arguing with Kyungsoo, Jongin nods and continues to do his stretches. He hopes that as long as the choreographer is there, Kyungsoo won’t be as obnoxious as he usually is. Even if he is, Jongin will try his best to ignore him and focus on his dancing.
It doesn’t take long for Jongin to pick up the moves. They’re difficult but nothing Jongin can’t handle. Even on his first few times dancing it, he dances like it’s his final time. Giving all his emotions and power into it. Even if there are no judges or anyone taking score, he feels like there is. It gives him enough pressure to keep his focus.
Kyungsoo doesn’t make any noise while Jongin dances. He doesn’t shout any encouraging words or helpful advice. He only sits in the chair with a smile and his eyes watching. Jongin can see him sometimes. His eyes catches the other’s as he takes a jump or turns towards his direction. They make him shiver and he occasionally stumbles because of how direct they are.
Kyungsoo only claps when Jongin gets the routine right for the first time.
xxx
“You’ve been stumbling and tripping a lot,” Kyungsoo says, arms resting on top of the stage. “I think you should take a break.”
Jongin wants to tell him that if Kyungsoo didn’t stare at him while he dances he would be fine. He’s almost certain that Kyungsoo would tell him that hundreds of people will be staring at him when he dances for the competition and if he can handle that, he can handle Kyungsoo’s eyes. But Kyungsoo is different. He watches with a different kind of eyes. Jongin isn’t exactly sure how to describe it. They make his body feel cold and shivers run up his spine. He sees the whites of his eyes when he turns during his dancing and they haunt him.
“It’s fine. I need the practice.”
Kyungsoo laughs, chin leaning on his arm as he locks eyes with Jongin. “The competition is tomorrow. You’ve practiced enough, don’t you think?” Kyungsoo smiles, standing up straight and stretching his arms up. “Why don’t we go out? Have a little fun.”
“Shouldn’t you get some more practice in?” Jongin stands up, pushing his hair back and grabbing his water bottle. “You’ve spent all day in here.”
“I don’t need the practice. I’m good.”
Kyungsoo follows Jongin out of the auditorium and to the changing rooms. He leans against the lockers and watches Jongin’s every move. Jongin doesn’t have a problem with other people seeing him naked. He showers with the other danseurs most days anyways. He has nothing to hide and there isn’t a reason to feel uncomfortable around them. Kyungsoo is different. Jongin excuses himself to the bathroom to change.
“Let’s go to the club,” Kyungsoo says when Jongin opens the door to the bathroom. He’s directly in front of him, grin wide and proud.
Jongin shakes his head, brows furrowing and hands gripping at his clothes tighter. “We have the competition tomorrow.”
“No drinks. Just dancing and having a good time. I promise.”
xxx
Jongin didn’t have much of a choice on whether he would stay or go with Kyungsoo. The latter grabbed him by the hand and dragged him out of the studio. He had the same grin on his lips as he did the first time they went to the club together. The same hand on Jongin’s thigh that made shivers run up his body.
As Kyungsoo promised, they don’t go over to the bar. Kyungsoo takes them out to the dance floor and Jongin begins to feel a bit better. He’d still rather be at home getting rest than at a club but he doesn’t feel like mentioning it.
“I remember how well you danced the next morning last time we went out,” Kyungsoo whispers against his ear. “You were crazy!” Kyungsoo runs his hand down Jongin’s side, fingers curling around his hip. “I bet tomorrow you’ll be even better.” Jongin can’t help but close his eyes and arch his back when he feels Kyungsoo’s lips curl into a smirk against his ear.
When two passes, Jongin tells Kyungsoo he’s going to get some water. Kyungsoo shakes his head and insists that he go get it. Jongin watches as Kyungsoo pushes his way through the crowd and then disappears.
He finds his way to a set of couches. Jongin sits down on one, room spinning slightly due to the loud music and smoke that he’s inhaled over the last hour. When Kyungsoo gets back, he’ll ask if they can go home. There’s only five more hours until they have to be dressed and back at the studio to leave for competition.
“Here,” Kyungsoo says with a bright smile as he sits down next to him. “Plain water, just for you.”
Jongin takes a hesitant sip. After confirming that it is just water, he downs it quickly, not realizing just how thirsty he was. The cup gets set down on the small coffee table by his feet. Jongin watches as Kyungsoo’s lips turn into a grin.
xxx
He isn’t sure how it happened. Jongin isn’t in his right mind and his body isn’t either. He hovers over Kyungsoo, nails digging into his shoulders and thighs quivering around his waist. Kyungsoo’s lips are on his neck and they press kisses downwards towards his chest. Kyungsoo’s cock is pushed in all the way, only becoming shallow when Jongin lifts his hips to push them down again.
His fingers tremble against Kyungsoo’s shoulders and his head leans back in pleasure. Kyungsoo grips at the hips above his and thrusts upwards, breaking Jongin’s rhythm. Jongin chokes out a moan when Kyungsoo’s cock presses against the spot that feels too good in him. Jongin isn’t a virgin but it’s been far too long since he’s had any kind of sexual contact.
“You’re such an amazing dancer,” Kyungsoo moans out when he flips Jongin on his back. “I can’t wait to see you perform.” The hands on his hips grip so tightly, Jongin thinks his hips might break.
xxx
Jongin is almost certain that whatever Kyungsoo slipped into his drink hours ago, is still lingering in his body. There’s an undeniable hum throughout that makes his fingers twitch and his legs unable to be still. He hasn’t gotten any sleep, so he thinks. If he did, it wasn’t much. He remembers the time being around five when Kyungsoo pushed him on his bed. It was now almost seven thirty and he doesn’t have much recollection of what happened in those two hours.
Everyone on the bus is quiet. Most of them exhausted from a long day of practice the day before. Luhan is asleep on Sehun’s shoulder, blanket covering his body and earbuds in. Sehun himself has his head leaned back and eyes shut, trying to catch as much sleep as he can on the hour bus ride. Jongin shuts his own eyes after some time, hoping to rid away the strange feeling in his body and get some much needed sleep.
The ipod only gets through three songs before he feels someone next to him. Jongin opens his eyes, tilting his head to see a familiar head of black hair and big eyes looking at him. Kyungsoo grins, hand on Jongin’s shoulder. Jongin sucks in a breath, pulling his body away from Kyungsoo’s as he takes his earbuds out.
“I was trying to sleep,” Jongin says, brows furrowing and legs stretching out.
“Sorry. I just wanted to come say thanks for last night.” He smiles and leans back against the seat, hair sprawling out on the headrest behind him. “I had a lot of fun. Totally relaxed for today.”
“Yeah,” he breathes out. He doesn’t listen to the other things Kyungsoo says as he puts in his earbuds and turns his music up higher.
When Jongin wakes, Kyungsoo is no longer sitting next to him. The other dancers are standing up, grabbing their bags and walking to get off of the bus. Jongin sucks in a breath and doesn’t take the time to stretch out and get himself awake. He grabs his things and hurries off the bus, eyes half shut and legs wobbly.
The theater is one that he’s been to before. There have been several big wins on the stage and happy memories that come with it. Jongin won his first award here and he’s excited to add another one to the mix. He just hopes that he wakes up enough in time to perform.
xxx
Jongin spends the warm up time stretching and running over the steps of his solo. He’s confident that his duet with Sehun will go well and decides to focus on his own dance more. He watches himself in the mirror with concentrated eyes, making sure that he meets every step and movement perfectly.
He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous. It’s probably the most nervous he’s been in a while. Not even his first performance back then made him feel this nervous. He thinks it might have to do with the fact that he barely remembers anything from last night. His lack of sleep has an effect as well. There’s also a dull pain in his waist and thighs that make dancing harder than usual.
“Hey!” Kyungsoo peeks his head in the room, smiling and black bag in hand. “I think we grabbed the wrong bags this morning before leaving. This is yours. I think you have my shoes too.”
Jongin nods, eyes back on the mirror as the music restarts in his ears. He expects Kyungsoo to stay in the room and watch like he usually does. After he grabs the ballet shoes out and switches the bags, he smiles and waves before walking out of the room. It’s a relief because the last thing he needs is Kyungsoo staring at him right before the performance.
After the tenth run through, Jongin checks the time. He has only fifteen minutes before he needs to perform his solo. It’s enough time to run through one or two more times but he decides against it. He needs to take the time to get into his costume and make sure his makeup is correct. Even though his performance was mostly about the routine and technique, it also has to do with the costume and appearance of the dancer. If Jongin lost because he was missing style points, he would never let himself live it down.
Everything looks and feels right until Jongin stands up and starts to make his way out of the room. His feet slide against the floor, more than they should. Jongin gasps and grips onto one of the chairs to keep himself from falling. His brows furrow and his hand tightens around the chair as he lifts his leg up to look at his shoes. The tops of them look the same. His initials are peeking out from underneath the laces and they fit the same. Jongin blinks and thinks maybe it’s just the floor.
The slipping isn’t any better as he makes his way through the hallway to the stage. He has to grab onto the wall several times and his legs are straining from trying to keep his body from sliding. Jongin hears his name being called and he tries his best to make it over to his leader without falling.
“Jongin! You’re on in two, what are you doing?” She yells, hand running through her hair and fingers curling around the blonde locks.
“Sorry, my shoes are really slippery. Do you have any extra?”
She sighs and shakes her head. “What do you mean they’re slippery, Jongin. Stop messing around and get over to the stage.”
Jongin wants to argue with her, wants to tell her that if he goes up on stage with how his shoes are that he’ll fall. But she pushes him towards the curtains and Jongin waits until she’s gone to check the bottom of his shoes. The soles haven’t been scored at all. They’re smooth and fresh as if Jongin just bought them at the store this morning.
It hits him a little too late when he’s being pushed out on the stage. Kyungsoo took his shoes. Jongin knows that his shoes have more years than most people’s and have been scored to perfection. The shoes on his feet aren’t his but Kyungsoo’s or another pair. Jongin looks around in search for Kyungsoo. He only catches him sitting in the audience when the music starts.
Jongin knows he has no choice but to dance. The first step makes Jongin’s feet slide a little too far forward. He can’t hide the shock on his face and he can see the crowd look confused. Jongin feels his heart beating a little too fast and he starts to feel lightheaded. The buzz in his body still hasn’t faded. His lack of sleep is making the room spin and Jongin finds it difficult to gain his balance.
His feet slip more often than not and on his first jump, Jongin tumbles to the ground. There’s a collective gasp and Jongin tries to pull himself together. As he stands up, he sees Kyungsoo. He’s seated in the same place he’s been sitting every day at the studio. His eyes are bright and there’s a grin on his lips. The grin only widens when Jongin stands up and slips again.
On the third jump, Jongin’s leg lands too hard. His ankle twists and he falls to the floor. It’s the same pain that he felt when he first broke his leg, only everything is emphasized. His hands grip at his leg and he chokes out a sob. The music is stopped and all he hears is silence and his own crying.
Suddenly, there is a loud clapping echoing throughout the auditorium. Jongin looks up, eyes having trouble focusing on the crowd of people through his tears and bright lights on him. After they focus, he sees Kyungsoo standing up, hands coming together quickly. His lips are curled up into a grin and there’s a dark look in his eyes.
Jongin doesn’t get the chance to yell out at him as his choreographer and leader help him off stage. They pull him over to a chair and help him sit down. Jongin grips his leg, choking out a sob as his leader wraps her hands around it and presses down with her fingers. He knows that it’s serious. If it’s not broken, his muscles are strained at least. It isn’t a simple injury that Jongin can push his way through.
He sees the other dancers from his studio gather around. Jongin covers his face, not wanting to look at their disgusted looks that they’ll give. He’s let them down again and he doesn’t want to deal with the same treatment once more. He hears Luhan ask if he’s okay. Yixing puts his hand on his shoulder and Sehun whispers something that sounds like a worried statement.
They all help him away from the stage and back into the dressing room. His leader gives him a pack of ice to put on his leg and tells him to rest. Jongin feels his heart drop when he sees the looks in his fellow dancers eyes. They don’t look angry but worried. Sehun has bits of tears in his eyes and Jongin does too when realizes that he’s left Sehun alone again.
“Jongin!” Kyungsoo smiles brightly as he walks into the room. The rest of the dancers look at him with confused faces. “I hope you’re okay,” he says quietly, grin still on his lips. “But don’t worry. I know your dances. I can cover for you.”
“Kyungsoo, do you really know them?”
Instead of answering the choreographer, Kyungsoo decides to show him instead. Jongin watches with lips pressed tightly together as Kyungsoo dances the routine for his duo with Sehun. And he’s right. He does know them. Each move is sharp and on point. It only takes a minute for the choreographer to tell him that he can dance with Sehun. He ushers the rest of the dancers out and tells Kyungsoo to get changed and be ready in ten minutes.
When the door shuts, Jongin’s eyes meet Kyungsoo’s. He sucks in a breath and tries to calm himself before speaking. Perhaps it was a misunderstanding. Perhaps Kyungsoo didn’t do it on purpose. But the grin on Kyungsoo’s lips is proving all of his thoughts wrong.
“Why did you do that? What have I done to you?”
Kyungsoo sighs with a smile. His hands land on his hips and he licks at his lips. “I’ve been trying to be number one in this country for a very long time, Jongin. You’ve always been there to take it away. No matter how hard I trained or how hard of dances I picked, you always danced better than me.” Kyungsoo bites at his bottom lip, letting his head shake as he laughs. “You don’t even look like you’re trying half of the time. Your sleepy eyes and smiling face. Like it’s nothing to you. When I’ve been killing myself to be in your spot.”
Jongin laughs, brows furrowing and body straightening up. There’s a sharp pain in his leg as he moves but he tries to ignore it. “So this is all just jealousy?”
“You could call it that, sure. But to me it’s more of me putting you in your place.” Kyungsoo nods, smirk curling the corner of his lips up. “Obviously I had to befriend you first. Had to watch how you dance and learn why you’re so good. Why do you think I sat and watched you for these last months. I watched every step you took just so this moment could come and I could take your spot.”
Jongin sits quietly, unable to think of what to say. His heart flutters and he swallows thickly. “But you’ve always been so supportive,” Jongin says in a whisper. “You never said anything bad to me.. even when I didn’t do good, you still told me I was great.”
There’s an odd feeling in Jongin’s body when Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything. He rips through Jongin’s bag and pulls out the costume that is for his duet with Sehun. Kyungsoo makes his way to the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it behind him. Jongin wants to get up. He wants to go tell his leader and the choreographer, and even Sehun that Kyungsoo can’t dance his part. He doesn’t deserve to. That his injury wasn’t an accident but a sabotage.
Kyungsoo doesn’t deserve to take Jongin’s place. Even as good as a dancer as he is, he’s only fueled by negative feelings. Jongin’s always been nice. Never once had he been mean to any of his fellow dancers. He would never wish them harm. All of them work hard and are where they are because of it. But Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo didn’t work at all. He sat back and watched his plan unfold and he took what was Jongin’s.
His thoughts stop when Kyungsoo walks back out, fully dressed and ready to go on stage. There’s still the sickening grin on his face that makes Jongin feel nauseous. “Jongin, dear.” The nickname makes Jongin swallow and hold back a gag. Kyungsoo’s fingers wrap around Jongin’s chin, tilting his head up so their eyes meet. “You had no one paying attention to you. No one will ever figure out that it wasn’t an accident. I’m your only friend and let’s be honest here, who will they believe?”
Kyungsoo leans down and presses his lips against Jongin’s. Jongin coughs and bites down hard on Kyungsoo’s lip. The other doesn’t react and only moves back enough so their eyes meet. Jongin can see the small red mark on Kyungsoo’s lips and a drop of blood beginning to pool. “Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading.” He tilts his head and lets his whispers brush against Jongin’s lips. “People like a show.” Kyungsoo laughs, fingers gripping at Jongin’s chin. “And I sure did enjoy it.”