(for chenhuns) little ray of sunshine - part 1 of 2
For: chenhuns
Title: little ray of sunshine
Pairings: Kai/D.O, mentioned!Taemin/Krystal
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~20,000
Summary: When little baby Miyoung first came into his life, Jongin had no idea how much his world would change. It wasn’t until Kyungsoo was invited in that Jongin realized nothing would be the same ever again.
Author’s Note: N/A - Mod note: Apologies for this late posting; I recalled posting this fic myself but I had posted it to the wrong community. Personal apologies to the recipient and to the writer! - Modperor
Usually, Jongin was good at adapting to change quickly. He lived most of his life separated from his family, and having to survive on his own at a young age made him more independent then most of his fellow peers. One of his biggest attributes would have to be his ability to take whatever life threw at him. Short on money two weeks before rent was due? Not a problem. Term paper due the same week he has a full schedule of teaching? No worries. Female dancers having a fight at the studio an hour before their show? Messy, but consider it handled.
Yet, despite all the dramatics that seemingly found their way into Jongin’s hands, the one thing he probably could never have anticipated was getting the custody of his niece, one whom he did not even know existed until a month ago at his brother’s funeral.
“I don’t get why my mother can’t just keep it,” he mumbled, looking at the bundle in his hands. The social worker sighed for what seemed to be the thousandth time that day.
“Like I’ve said repeatedly, there’s a messy custody battle between the two sets of grandparents, since no will was left over who gets custody.” Jongin rolled his eyes; he could just imagine his mother throwing a fit in the courtroom. The whole Romeo and Juliet scenario that his brother and fiancée had was the whole reason Jongin left home three years ago; he couldn’t stand the elitism the two families had.
“…and that’s why the judge decided an outside party would be the best place for her to grow up in, away from whatever legal problems your family seems to be having.” The social worker groaned again, seeing as Jongin had obviously spaced out. “By the way, the ‘it’ in your hands has a name, her name is Miyoung, I suggest you start getting use to it.” As if on cue, the baby girl began to stir in his arms, causing Jongin to jump in fright. The social worker stared helplessly at him.
“But why me? I didn’t even agree to this.”
“An aunt or uncle would be the most appropriate outside party, someone related but not involved. You’d already declared an official emancipation from your family matters, making you a perfect candidate. And Sunyoung was a single child.” Checking her watch, the social worker picked up her bag, pausing as Jongin reached out in fright. She sighed. “Jongin, I can’t stay, there are unfortunately so many more cases that require me today. It’s a sad word we live in, where I have to make 5 more stops before the end of the day.” Jongin retracted his hand, but still looked pleadingly at the social worker, as the baby continued to squirm in his arms.
The social worker sighed again. “Jongin.” He froze. “Technically, you have a choice. I can take Miyoung to an orphanage or foster care, until the whole situation is cleared up. But the poor girl…” He could see the social worker blinking away tears. “She just turned one years old, and already lost both her parents. Children at this age are more attentive then you think. I… I don’t want to take her from one harsh reality into…”
“…into another.”
He looked down at the child, feeling completely helpless. There was something about her that reminded Jongin of himself. During his childhood, Jonghyun was the only one who made him feel at home in a household filled with strife and indifference, so as soon as his brother got married and was subsequently kicked out, Jongin had no other reason to stay behind.
And here was someone else who undoubtedly felt the hospitable kindness that the ever friendly Jonghyun was known for, someone who Jonghyun had loved and would have continued to care about. Someone who had unexpectedly lost all that one dark and rainy night. They both would never feel Jonghyun’s love again, but at least with Jongin, he had a new place to go home to at the end of the day. Miyoung could only rely on his parents or the state from now on.
He knew how it felt to be at a home without his peacemaking brother. The days after his brother moved out were full of tense and uncomfortable silence, only broken once in a while by his mothers scathing words or fathers harsh comments. No one could survive that without developing their own hatred towards the world.
At sixteen, Jongin had a choice. At one, she had no such opportunity.
“I-I’ll t-take care of her.” He mumbled. “You’re right, she doesn’t deserve any of this. I owe my brother so much, and this is the only way I can possibly ever repay him.” The social worker let out a small smile.
She handed a card to Jongin. “I’ll be back as soon as I can to check up on you guys, but if you need me, my numbers on that card.” With that, she stepped out of his apartment. Jongin watched her walk down the stairwell, and continued to stand there frozen until he could no longer hear her clacking heels.
Despite what he said about repaying his brother, it just hit him at that moment what he had agreed too exactly. He had responsibility over a whole other human being. Jongin could hardly take care of himself.
He walked mindlessly in, the baby in his arms seemingly getting heavier each step. She was still in slumber, though he could feel her breathing pick up, a sign that she was soon to wake up.
And then what? He didn’t know what to do with a sleeping child, much less an awaken one.
Setting her carefully in the crib in his living room, he looked into the box the social worker had left with him. Various bags with assorted labels looked up at him. Clothes, diapers, toys… it was all too much. What happens when she starts crying? What food was he supposed to feed her? How do you change a diaper? She was a girl for crying out loud, Jongin wasn’t sure how appropriate it would be for him to see her naked.
A few whimpers broke into his thoughts. Startling, he looked over to the crib. Miyoung was stirring again, but this time, her eyes were blinking. They opened wide, gaping up at the - definitely unfamiliar - surroundings.
“Please don't…”
“Wahhhh!!” Unfortunately, Jongin’s prayers would remain unanswered. The high pitch screams filled his usually noiseless apartment, and Jongin winced. He quickly went to her side, shushing her as much as he could, but she continued to bawl, even kicking around in her crib while doing so. Jongin flung himself back onto his couch, his own face scrunched up in panic.
What to do? He runs his brain through everyone he knows, but most of them are like him, single and childless. He doubts he wants Tao around a baby, and Sehun would probably kill it. Yixing… Taemin… Luhan… everyone lived too far, or was too inexperienced, plus Jongin wasn’t sure he wanted any of that crew to know about his situation at the moment.
Miyoung’s tears grew louder, to the point of wailing. Jongin wondered if it was worth keeping a secret anymore, considering how noisy she was getting. He pulled out his phone, scrolling down his contact list. Was there anyone he knew that had some experience with kids before?
Kyungsoo!
Do Kyungsoo, who resided next door, had an older brother. This older brother had kids. They sometimes came over; he could hear the laughter and yelling through his walls. It was worth a shot.
He whimpered a I’ll be back to Miyoung, which only seem to set her off even more. Nearly stumbling over his feet, he skidded to a halt outside of the apartment next to his, knocking frantically on the door.
“Coming!” The muffled voice sounded, before the door opened. His next-door neighbor startled for a second, before blinking up at Jongin’s panicked face. “J-Jongin! Is everything alright?” Part of him would have probably wilted and stuttered an apology, seeing as Kyungsoo was still in his pajamas, but this was an emergency.
“Help.” He squeaks out instead, pointing to his own apartment. Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows, but immediately widens his eyes, as the cries get louder. Wordlessly, he follows Jongin back into his apartment, catching sight of Miyoung.
“Why. Do you. Have. A kid in your apartment. Jongin.” Jongin didn’t think it was possible, but Kyungsoo’s eyes widened even more.
“It’s a really long story but please just help me make her stop crying.” Without a word, Kyungsoo dropped to his knees in front of her crib.
“Do you have clean diapers?” Jongin pulls out the giant box that the social worker dropped off and sets it next to Kyungsoo, pulling out the bag labeled ‘diapers’.
“Shh… it’s okay…” Jongin could see Kyungsoo petting at Miyoung’s head, as he hummed a soft lullaby. Her crying didn’t stop, but decreased slightly, allowing for Kyungsoo to take off the diaper and wrap it up, before grabbing the new one from Jongin’s hands.
“Can she walk? How old is she?” Kyungsoo asked, expertly putting on the new diaper. Jongin looked away.
“A-About 14 months I-I think, b-but they say she’s gonna be slower in d-developing ‘cause of the car accident.” Kyungsoo let out a soft oh, understanding whose child Miyoung exactly was.
“We’re going to have to teach her a lot then,” Kyungsoo murmured. He took the dirty diaper to the kitchen, throwing it away. “Did you start warming her milk? Is there any baby food? No wait, she wouldn’t be eating baby food anymore, she started teething right?” Jongin could feel a headache coming.
“Jongin, does she still use a bottle? What about a pacifier? How about-“
“Kyungsoo I-I just got her about an hour ago I don’t know!” Kyungsoo froze in the kitchen. Jongin leaned his head into his hands, blinking away tears.
“I’m sorry, I’m really thankful for your help, it’s just… this is happening way to fast- and- and I just- I don’t think I can do this-“
“Hey hey hey calm down,” He blinked again, as the elder came into his view, a warm smile on his face. “We’ll get through this together. I’ll help you get use to this okay? Please don’t worry?”
Jongin blinked through his tears, a rare Kyungsoo smile greeting his eyes. He let out a weak grin of his own.
“Please don’t ever move away.” He replied softly. Kyungsoo let out a faint laugh.
“We’ll see about that.”
FOUR YEARS LATER
“I should have never asked you to stay, if it was just going to turn out like this!” Jongin wailed, hugging Miyoung close to his chest. Kyungsoo scoffed.
“Jongin stop being ridiculous.”
“Why are you doing this to me? I trusted you Kyungsoo!”
“Jongin, please.”
“I hate you!”
“I know you don’t mean that.”
“Why did I let you into our lives? Whyyyy-“
“It’s because you love me.” Kyungsoo cut in dryly. “Isn’t that right Mimi?” he added in a lighter tone, grinning at Miyoung’s happy nod in agreement, despite being held firmly against her uncle’s chest.
Jongin pouted and pulled closer. “Don’t say that Mimi, you don’t know what that mean person over there is trying to do.” He fake sobs into Miyoung’s hair. “He’s taking you away from me and sending you off to a dangerous place!”
“She’s four years old for heavens sake, daycare is not dangerous.” Kyungsoo sighed once again, getting out of front seat and opening the back. Jongin glared at him, holding Miyoung tightly. “And besides, I don’t trust those hooligans at your work place any more.”
Jongin sat up, insulted. “Language, Kyungsoo, two children are present! And they are not...” he covered Miyoung’s ears. “Hooligans, they are decent and respectable people!” Kyungsoo gave him a stare.
“Do I have to remind you what Miyoung’s first word was?” Jongin paled. Kyungsoo took the opportunity to scoop Miyoung out of the backseat, ignoring Jongin’s whining and outstretched arms across the backseat, grasping for his niece. “I’m going to sign her in and check the place out. I would have brought you along inside, but seeing that you’re an even bigger baby then Mimi is, you get to stay out here.”
“Kyungsoooo-“
“You better be seat belted and ready to go by the time I get back.” The elder paid no heed to Jongin’s continuous whines, turning his back.
“But Kyungsooo-“
“Get into the front of the car and wait for me. Seat belted, you hear?”
“Kyung-“
“That’s an order.”
“Are you still upset I sent Miyoung to daycare?” Kyungsoo groaned as Jongin continued to ignore him, opting to stare out the window instead. “Jongin, you have those dance classes to teach now in the evenings. That, on top of your regular job at the chicken store… I’m just afraid having to watch Miyoung as well is going to be too much for you to handle. Besides, it’ll be good for Miyoung if she gets to interact with other kids besides Taemin’s kids and my brothers.” He looked back over at Jongin, and sighed. “If you’re really upset though, we can go sign her out for today and try again tomorrow-“
“Do you remember…” Jongin cut in, turning to face the front again. “When I first held Miyoung, after you got her to stop crying that first day?” Kyungsoo turned silent. “I was so scared of holding her even, scared that I might drop her or cause her to cry again or… just… I was just really, really scared of having to take care of her by myself.”
“And now look, I can hardly get myself to let her go to daycare.” He chuckled softly to himself. “Look at how much times have changed. She was so little back then, so weak and vulnerable, but now… she’s grown so much into a perfect angel… Jonghyun would be so proud.” He trailed off, before turning to Kyungsoo.
“Thank you.” he added quietly. Kyungsoo blushed.
“If I got a penny every time you said that to me, I’d have enough for you to quit your jobs and stay home with Miyoung full time,” he grumbled, but the bright glow on his face betrayed his true emotions.
They pulled up to Unidentified Flying Chicken™, and Kyungsoo slowed the car. He turned to face Jongin.
“Tell you what. I’ll pick the two of you up around lunchtime, we can go celebrate your new teaching job and her first day, how’s that?” Jongin brightened up.
“For real?” His eyes popped out. Kyungsoo let out a small chuckle.
“My treat,” he smiled softly. “Now hurry up and make money so you can treat me out too.” Jongin got out of the car and bounded around it, stopping at Kyungsoo’s window.
“Can we go have Japanese food? It’s been a while…” Jongin pouted, batting his eyes in hopefully what came off as cutely. Kyungsoo groaned in exasperation.
“Please, please, pweety pwease?” Jongin continued to babble, making as good of a puppy face as he could at the elder. Kyungsoo let out a short chuckle.
“Go to work, I’ll think about it.” He sighed again as Jongin let out a whoop, knowing that he won. He continued his victorious catcalls even as Kyungsoo pulled away.
Walking inside the fast food joint, he waved at his coworker Luhan, who sat at the ordering counter, looking bored, and blatantly ignoring the other, Sehun, whose usually emotionless face twinkling with playful delight.
“Hey Jongin, getting dropped off by your sugar daddy? How sweet.”
“Shut up Sehun.” He pushed at the younger’s shoulder, growling at Sehun’s giggles. Sehun followed Jongin as he walked into the back office, clocking himself in and grabbing an apron.
“You can’t even deny it, it’s totally true.” Sehun continued, despite Jongin’s attempts to swat him away. “He practically pays for everything you own, takes you and Mimi out to eat all the time, and come on, isn’t he the one who signed Miyoungie up for that prestigious tuition needed daycare ‘cause you completely forgot four year olds go to daycares in general?” Jongin rolled his eyes, continuing to tune out his coworker.
“Lay off Sehun,” Luhan called from the counter. Jongin wanted to thank Luhan for siding with him. “Kyungsoo only does it out of pity, since Jongin is so in loooooooove with him.” And then kill the Chinese for adding on with that.
“Please not this again,” he groaned, glaring at Sehun’s increasingly louder laughs. It was nothing new to him, getting teased by tweedledum and tweedledumber about his ‘so-called unrequited love’ on Kyungsoo, and it only got more and more annoying every time they brought it up, considering, “I don’t have a crush on him.”
“Please, you totally do. That must suck though, being in love with someone way out of your league.” Sehun snorted, sliding into the seat next to Luhan. They both tilted their heads, smirking up at the other. It amazed Jongin how alike they were, especially when it came to teasing him. “Though… we’re actually pretty sure he likes you back. I mean, who the hell pays that much to send their neighbors kid to a daycare.” Jongin turned away from the two, ignoring the gnawing guilt in his stomach. He had tried to protest it, but Kyungsoo had insisted, stating how Miyoung’s doctor recommended the daycare to accommodate Miyoung’s mental needs was why she absolutely needed to go.
It’s just like something straight out of one of Tao’s favorite dramas,” Luhan chimed in, swiveling in his counter stool to join the conversation. “Rich businessman, poor peasant, and the child that brings them together.” He clasped his hands together in a dream-like stance. “What first starts as a mutual hatred and dislike for one another turns slowly into the sweetest romance, only for the male to be heartbroken upon finding his loved one has been struck with the most incurable of diseases-“
“First of all, Kyungsoo and I did not start off in mutual hatred and dislike.” Jongin cut in, rolling his eyes. “Second, I don’t have an incurable disease, which doesn't matter since we are not going to be in the sweetest of romances anyways.” He paused, frowning. “And I am not a peasant.”
“Please, compared to Kyungsoo, who works in an actual office building as head manager, you are so a peasant.” Luhan deadpanned. “And you guys are so in love. You practically worship the guy, and he pays for everything out of love. It’s just like Yixing and his rich boy toy, except Yixing repays in sex too!”
“I heard that, Luhan,” Yixing walked by the trio, causing them to jump in shock. “You three, don’t you have work to be doing, like… I don’t know, your jobs?” he tsks at them before disappearing into the stock room.
Luhan glares at his retreating back. “He’s only the manager here cause his ‘boyfriend’ owns the franchise.”
“Be careful what you say, he’s the reason we have this job.”
“And I can very well be the reason you lose them as well.” Yixing adds sweetly, causing to jump in shock again. He turns to Jongin. “Since you were the last one to report in, you have delivery duty. Better get your uniform on, we already have orders coming in. No ifs or buts, Kyungsoo texted me that you held them up at the daycare, so it’s your fault.” Jongin sulked. It was technically Kyungsoo’s fault for having sent Miyoung there. Regardless, he followed Yixing back to the back, giving on last glaring look at the two idiots out front, as they made kissing sounds behind his back. He untied his apron and grabbed the red delivery shirt and cap instead.
“Don’t pay attention to what those two say,” Yixing says, wheeling the bicycle out from the corner. Jongin snorted.
“Those two put together have less brain cells then I do, and that’s saying something. The day I take anything to they say to heart, you might as well shoot me dead.” Yixing scoffed.
“But really… do you have a crush on Kyungsoo?”Jongin jolted, blinking at Yixing curiously. Truthfully, for the past two years of working at UFC™, he’s heard enough of Sehun and Luhan’s teasing to expertly tune it all out, but this was the first time Yixing had ever contributed to the subject surrounding Jongin and Kyungsoo’s weird relationship.
“Jongin, it’s alright for you to like whoever you want to, but I’m worried that whatever is between you and Kyungsoo is only going to lead to… well is not going to end well.” Jongin let out a nervous laugh, pushing Yixing playfully.
“Well thankfully, you don’t have to use that pretty head of yours to worry about anything, since there’s nothing going on between us.” He teased, but Yixing didn’t lighten up, instead, holding onto the bike and stalling Jongin from leaving the room.
“It’s not even just if you have a crush on him anymore,” Yixing continued, despite Jongin’s attempts to bypass him. “Have you considered Kyungsoo’s feelings, if he might actually like you? I mean, Jongin, he paid for Miyoung’s daycare. Before, when he was just helping you guys out here and there, I didn’t think too much about it, but now… it’s like he really wants a permanent place in your lives.”
“He’s always had one.” Jongin looked firmly at Yixing. “Miyoung considers him an Uncle-“
“I don’t mean it that way.”
“Then what do you mean?” Yixing blinked, mouth posed to say something, but he shook his head.
“Just, you should tell him if you like him, because if you have a crush-“
“I… I don’t have a crush on him.” Jongin interjected quickly. He took a breath. “Really!” Yixing didn’t look convinced. “Yixing, don’t worry. I’m not sure what you’re implying between Kyungsoo and I, b-but I assure you that it’s nothing worrisome. I’m extremely thankful for everything that Kyungsoo’s done for us, and really wish I could pay him back, but we’re just friends, that's all.”
Because unlike Tao’s cheesy dramas or Luhan’s stupid analogies, and even Yixing’s wild musings, Jongin was not in love with Kyungsoo. Eternally grateful, yes. But having a crush on him? Definitely not.
I mean, it was normal to be in love with the way he grins, and hang onto every word that comes from his mouth because of the sexy way he says it? And to like how Kyungsoo feels when he hugs Jongin out of happiness, or to fall into a daze over the elder’s eye smiles?
But yeah, there was certainly no way he could ever have a crush on Kyungsoo. Absolutely.
(You’re using way too many synonyms of ‘definitely’ to assert your point, a small voice in his head teases him. Jongin shakes it off. He undoubted- unquesti- obvi- did not have a crush on Kyungsoo. At all.)
Anyways, it wasn’t the routine teasing from Luhan and Sehun, or the surprise conversation with Yixing that was on his mind right now. Another point that Yixing had made continued to bother him. Why did Kyungsoo pay that much for daycare? Sure, Jongin may have acted all paranoid over letting Miyoung go that morning, but truthfully, knowing that Miyoung would be going to a school known for their top quality care of children who had unfortunate backgrounds definitely put Jongin’s mind to ease. There was no way he would have been able to send Miyoung to any daycare at all on his salary, much less one catered especially towards her emotional needs.
That only bugged him even more. Miyoung wasn’t Kyungsoo’s ward; she was under the custody of Jongin. So why had he covered the cost?
“Hey Kyungsoo?” he asked the elder, as the three of them walked out of the Japanese restaurant they ate at. Kyungsoo got held up at work, which meant they couldn’t go out to eat then, so as a result, the elder gave into Jongin (and - by order of Jongin - Miyoung’s) pleas for sushi that night.
“Kyungsoo, I’m really thankful you paid for Mimi’s daycare tuition,” Kyungsoo made an imaginary penny clunk into an invisible jar, rolling his eyes at Jongin’s millionth and one thanks. “But seriously, you didn’t have too, like… that's a lot.”
“I wanted too.” he shrugged, taking Miyoung’s hand into his own.
“B-but…” Jongin stuttered, keeping his eyes on the two’s interlocked hands. It was cute, seeing Miyoung’s tiny palm fit so well with Kyungsoo’s own small hand. “B-but why? I mean, why help us out so tremendously financially? N-not just in the daycare, but in a lot of other stuff too?” Kyungsoo slowed his steps, his eyes wrinkled in thought. He looked up at Jongin.
“Miyoungie’s cute?” Jongin furrowed his eyebrows.
“That’s it?”
“Andsoareyou.” Jongin jumped back in shock.
“What?”
“What?” Kyungsoo mirrored, grinning mischievously. Jongin blinked. Maybe he was hearing things. There was no way Kyungsoo thought he was cute.
He turned to Miyoung, who was skipping in between the two. “Hey, Mimi, what did Kyungsoo say?” She looked up innocently between the two, lips pursed in thought.
“I don't think Uncle Kyungsoo said anything!” Kyungsoo let out a laugh.
“That’s a good girl,” he grinned, patting her head. Jongin’s heart softened as he saw the interaction between the two. They liked to joke that despite being blood related to Jongin, Miyoung liked Kyungsoo more. The two had a special relationship that grew only more over the years. Granted, Kyungsoo always had a head start over Jongin into Miyoungs heart, considering that the elder was always more experienced with children, but there was something about Kyungsoo’s personality that drew people in. It wasn’t only Miyoung, but even Jongin would admit he had only grown closer to the elder over the years, due to his serious but easygoing character.
In fact… he could see how the guys at work would think Jongin had a crush on the elder (not that he did). Kyungsoo was definitely the type that others would be lucky to date, with his cute but sarcastic personality, and timid but firm nature. It wasn’t like the other was bad looking even, at times Jongin would admit to being lost in his endless eyes, or wondering how those heart shaped lips would feel. All out of curiousity of course, nothing else.
And yet… he continues to look down at Kyungsoo, who walked with such an elegance, who carried a professional aura of wealth and power. He never noticed before, but Kyungsoo always wore pristine button ups and expensive jeans, a heavy difference from Jongin’s own street clothes and Miyoung’s hand me downs.
Even if a tiny, miniscule part of him actually likes Kyungsoo (emphasize on the tiny and miniscule part, because there was no way Jongin would let his whole heart be taken by the ethereal male next to him at all), there was no way he could act on it anyways.
And it didn’t matter anyways! Because Jongin! Didn’t! Like! Kyungsoo at all!
“Jongin, don’t think too much about it,” Kyungsoo cut into Jongin’s thoughts, flashing a wide smile at him. “It’s all out of my love for you and Miyoung, right Mimi?” The little girl nodded, grinning a similar smile up at Jongin. It did nothing to calm the unease in his heart however, still staring unconvinced at Kyungsoo.
They walk up to Kyungsoo’s car, one of the newest Infiniti models that just released this year. Jongin’s heart sank. Sehun’s words from before came floating back in his mind.
He’d never paid much attention to it before, but Kyungsoo was always on a different social level then him and Miyoung. In the four years that passed since they first met that frantic night of Miyoung’s arrival, while Jongin had struggled through school and juggling various jobs, Kyungsoo had worked himself up to head manager of the conglomerate he worked at, which was straight in the middle of their city, where only the wealthiest resided. However, all this time, Kyungsoo’s humble attitude coupled with him staying at the small apartment building on the outskirts where they first met had meant Jongin never minded the large financial differences between the two.
But now… he wondered why Kyungsoo was still living next door to Jongin. He wondered why Kyungsoo, who was most likely making hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars, still bothered with Jongin, who in his lifetime would never be able to pay the elder back for all he had done. Yixing’s words about Kyungsoo paying for Miyoung’s daycare tuition came rushing back, along with Luhan’s words about Kyungsoo doing it all out of pity.
And maybe that’s why he really won’t even admit to his crush; which - if Jongin was actually honest with himself - was definitely more then just a small liking, or tiny interest, or brotherly infatuation. Maybe that’s why Jongin hides his true feelings, an unrequited crush - as Luhan said - that only grew more and more each time he saw the elder. Maybe, in the end, that’s why he repeatedly denies his love for Kyungsoo, no matter how much more he falls each time they are together.
It’s not like he can act upon any of it anyways, because he’s 100% positive Kyungsoo will never like him back.
“So basically you’re in love with Kyungsoo, but you simultaneously want him to disappear from your life, so you won’t feel guilty about possibly holding him back from doing his own thing, because you think he only sticks around ‘cause he pities you guys, which is why you won’t admit your love for him, since there’s no way he would like you back.“ Taemin blinked twice, staring despairingly at Jongin. “Dude, you can’t lay this shit on me during a play date.”
“Language!” Jongin hissed. Taemin snickered, pointing at the trio of kids, who were too engrossed with the TV to notice their male guardians.
“I need alcohol,” Taemin continued, sliding down the couch to the kitchen, only to be grabbed by Jongin.
“Kids!” he hisses again, jerking his head towards the TV. Taemin rolled his eyes, but returned to his seat. The two were currently at Taemin’s house, at one of the prearranged ‘playdates’ that Soojung set her twins and Miyoung up with. Jongin knows the real reason is so the other could have some free time away from Jinki, Jinri, and most likely Taemin as well, but he doesn’t mind, since it gives him time to chat with his best friend.
“Dude, I’m still not seeing the problem here,” Taemin says instead, crossing his arms. “I mean, you’re in love with him-“
“Can we please stop throwing that word around I’m not ‘in love’ per say-“
“And he obviously feels something for you, so all that’s left to do is have one drunken night while Miyoung asleep and bam! his ass is yours!” Taemin sat back, satisfied. “Well, more like your ass is his ‘cause it’s obvious he’d top-“
“Language! Children! Adult Content! Keep it G rated!” Jongin threw his hand over Taemin’s mouth. “And why does everyone think he feels something for me? It makes no sense, when he is practically surrounded by beautiful rich people day in and day out, which would probably be 100 times better lover material then I am?” Taemin rolled his eyes and licked Jongin’s hands, earning a squeal from the other.
“If you seriously think Kyungsoo only takes someone’s financial situation into consideration when finding a mate, then you obviously don’t know your neighbor at all.” Taemin continued. “Anyone a mile away can see he likes you back.”
“He does not.” Jongin paused. “And I don’t-“
“Please cut the cra-poop.” Taemin corrected himself, flinging his legs onto Jongin’s lap and leaning into the armrest of the couch. “Like seriously, you have a crush on him. He likes you back. This is practically a love story waiting to happen, so go get your man! Why are you worrying about holding him back and being a nuisance and all that other nonsense?”
“But that's the thing! Even if I did have this ‘so called’ crush on Kyungsoo,” (“Stop lying” Taemin coughed into his hand) “I wouldn’t be able to ‘act’ on it anyways, because what do I have to offer? I’m a 23 year old who has a four-year-old child under my wing and has to work two jobs in order to put food on the table for us. He wears thousand-dollar suits to work, I wear a chicken costume. It’s like… Cinderella and Prince Charming!” he points to the movie that the three kids were watching. “It’s obvious he only pities us, and is helping me out because he feels bad I got stuck with Mimi.” Jongin eyes drop, his lip pouting out. “Maybe I shouldn’t have accepted his help from the beginning. I should have set a boundary over how much I let him baby Miyoung. I was just happy that someone could help give Mimi what she deserves, that I’ve been completely blind to how much it’s hindering him from going on with his own life-“
“Why. Do. We keep coming back to this?!” Taemin exploded, causing the three kids to look back in concern. “Keep watching you guys, Uncle Jongin’s just being a idiot right now.”
“Language!”
“Jongin, Kyungsoo loves you guys. He fucking adores Miyoung- (“Lang-“ “Please stop.”) and definitely likes you. Of course, I’m not sure what he sees in you, considering how much of a pus- wimp you are, but I know that he has that special look when he’s around you, that one that sparkles with happiness whenever he sees you. He has like a special voice when he’s talking with you too, he gets all soft and tender when he’s with you or Mimi compared to everyone else in the world-“
“You’re lying, stop trying to make me feel better.”
“I’m not lying!” Taemin groaned, leaning his head over the side of the couch in frustration. “I mean, I get it. You’re just afraid of acting on your feelings. Kyungsoo’s done a lot for you over the years; it’s natural to feel like insecure about liking him, and wondering if you’re good enough to be his boyfriend. Somewhere deep deep deep inside you, you’re worried that by confessing, it’ll only make Kyungsoo pity you more, not only ‘cause your sad state but the burden of your love for him as well. But honestly, you should know the guy better then that. Kyungsoo can’t ever pity you guys, I mean, it’s pretty obvious he loves Miyoung, and by paying for her daycare fees, he wants the best for her. And well, it’s like what Luhan said, he wants a permanent place in both of your lives, and this is his way of telling you that.“
“Jongin, you need to stop being so insecure, if you saw you guys relationship from an outside source, even someone as dense as you could see the love radiating between the two of you. So why don’t you just act on your feelings and stop overthinking this?”
Jongin stayed silent, refusing to look at his friend. It was easy for Taemin to say all that, since he and Soojung didn’t have a large social difference between them, and had been the dream high school couple back then. Even if everyone else told him to act on his heart, it was definitely easier said then done. He just couldn’t ignore the dark cloud of worry that told him ‘it’s not what they all say. Kyungsoo doesn’t like you back. Everyone’s misreading it.’
“Jongin, please stop over- Jinri, stop pulling on Jinki’s hair, he hardly has any left thanks to you!” Jinri’s high-pitched squeal broke into his thoughts. Jongin winced as the young girl ignored her father’s words and continued anyway, before taking it upon himself to separate the twins. Jinri giggled as Jongin wrenched her hands out of her brother’s hair, and it really surprised him that Jinki wasn’t crying based on how much the girl had yanked out.
“How did you get Miyoung to be a perfect little angel ‘cause I want some of that magic for Jinri,” Taemin complains, seating Jinri into his lap far away from Jinki. The little girl bubbles and squirms. “Yes, I mean you you little brat, you’re lucky I love you so much.” He chuckles as Jinri scratches at his arms, demanding to be released. Jongin pulled Miyoung into his own lap, as the two watched, amused.
“Well obviously, she learned from the best,” he bragged, teasingly sticking his tongue out at Taemin, who scoffed in return. “I mean, I’m obviously the best role model, right Mimi?” she nodded enthusiastically.
“And Uncle Kyungsoo too!” she chimed in. Jongin blanked. Taemin let out a knowing smirk.
“Ahh… and Uncle Kyungsoo?” Miyoung shook her head enthusiastically.
“They're the best uncles out there in the world!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up and hitting Jongin in the face. “Sorry Jonginnie.”
“Best uncles, huh…” Jongin really wanted to wipe the grin off Taemin’s face, as the other continued to flash mischievous looks at Jongin. “And you want them to stay with you forever and ever, right?”
“Of course!” Miyoung giggle, leaning back into Jongin. He flinched at her words, which caused the girl to look up unsurely at Jongin. He managed a weak glance back. “I-if t-they want…”
Taemin let out a small chuckle, this time giving Jongin a more meaningful look.
“Oh I think Jongin does want that, doesn’t he?”
( Part 2 )
Title: little ray of sunshine
Pairings: Kai/D.O, mentioned!Taemin/Krystal
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~20,000
Summary: When little baby Miyoung first came into his life, Jongin had no idea how much his world would change. It wasn’t until Kyungsoo was invited in that Jongin realized nothing would be the same ever again.
Author’s Note: N/A - Mod note: Apologies for this late posting; I recalled posting this fic myself but I had posted it to the wrong community. Personal apologies to the recipient and to the writer! - Modperor
Usually, Jongin was good at adapting to change quickly. He lived most of his life separated from his family, and having to survive on his own at a young age made him more independent then most of his fellow peers. One of his biggest attributes would have to be his ability to take whatever life threw at him. Short on money two weeks before rent was due? Not a problem. Term paper due the same week he has a full schedule of teaching? No worries. Female dancers having a fight at the studio an hour before their show? Messy, but consider it handled.
Yet, despite all the dramatics that seemingly found their way into Jongin’s hands, the one thing he probably could never have anticipated was getting the custody of his niece, one whom he did not even know existed until a month ago at his brother’s funeral.
“I don’t get why my mother can’t just keep it,” he mumbled, looking at the bundle in his hands. The social worker sighed for what seemed to be the thousandth time that day.
“Like I’ve said repeatedly, there’s a messy custody battle between the two sets of grandparents, since no will was left over who gets custody.” Jongin rolled his eyes; he could just imagine his mother throwing a fit in the courtroom. The whole Romeo and Juliet scenario that his brother and fiancée had was the whole reason Jongin left home three years ago; he couldn’t stand the elitism the two families had.
“…and that’s why the judge decided an outside party would be the best place for her to grow up in, away from whatever legal problems your family seems to be having.” The social worker groaned again, seeing as Jongin had obviously spaced out. “By the way, the ‘it’ in your hands has a name, her name is Miyoung, I suggest you start getting use to it.” As if on cue, the baby girl began to stir in his arms, causing Jongin to jump in fright. The social worker stared helplessly at him.
“But why me? I didn’t even agree to this.”
“An aunt or uncle would be the most appropriate outside party, someone related but not involved. You’d already declared an official emancipation from your family matters, making you a perfect candidate. And Sunyoung was a single child.” Checking her watch, the social worker picked up her bag, pausing as Jongin reached out in fright. She sighed. “Jongin, I can’t stay, there are unfortunately so many more cases that require me today. It’s a sad word we live in, where I have to make 5 more stops before the end of the day.” Jongin retracted his hand, but still looked pleadingly at the social worker, as the baby continued to squirm in his arms.
The social worker sighed again. “Jongin.” He froze. “Technically, you have a choice. I can take Miyoung to an orphanage or foster care, until the whole situation is cleared up. But the poor girl…” He could see the social worker blinking away tears. “She just turned one years old, and already lost both her parents. Children at this age are more attentive then you think. I… I don’t want to take her from one harsh reality into…”
“…into another.”
He looked down at the child, feeling completely helpless. There was something about her that reminded Jongin of himself. During his childhood, Jonghyun was the only one who made him feel at home in a household filled with strife and indifference, so as soon as his brother got married and was subsequently kicked out, Jongin had no other reason to stay behind.
And here was someone else who undoubtedly felt the hospitable kindness that the ever friendly Jonghyun was known for, someone who Jonghyun had loved and would have continued to care about. Someone who had unexpectedly lost all that one dark and rainy night. They both would never feel Jonghyun’s love again, but at least with Jongin, he had a new place to go home to at the end of the day. Miyoung could only rely on his parents or the state from now on.
He knew how it felt to be at a home without his peacemaking brother. The days after his brother moved out were full of tense and uncomfortable silence, only broken once in a while by his mothers scathing words or fathers harsh comments. No one could survive that without developing their own hatred towards the world.
At sixteen, Jongin had a choice. At one, she had no such opportunity.
“I-I’ll t-take care of her.” He mumbled. “You’re right, she doesn’t deserve any of this. I owe my brother so much, and this is the only way I can possibly ever repay him.” The social worker let out a small smile.
She handed a card to Jongin. “I’ll be back as soon as I can to check up on you guys, but if you need me, my numbers on that card.” With that, she stepped out of his apartment. Jongin watched her walk down the stairwell, and continued to stand there frozen until he could no longer hear her clacking heels.
Despite what he said about repaying his brother, it just hit him at that moment what he had agreed too exactly. He had responsibility over a whole other human being. Jongin could hardly take care of himself.
He walked mindlessly in, the baby in his arms seemingly getting heavier each step. She was still in slumber, though he could feel her breathing pick up, a sign that she was soon to wake up.
And then what? He didn’t know what to do with a sleeping child, much less an awaken one.
Setting her carefully in the crib in his living room, he looked into the box the social worker had left with him. Various bags with assorted labels looked up at him. Clothes, diapers, toys… it was all too much. What happens when she starts crying? What food was he supposed to feed her? How do you change a diaper? She was a girl for crying out loud, Jongin wasn’t sure how appropriate it would be for him to see her naked.
A few whimpers broke into his thoughts. Startling, he looked over to the crib. Miyoung was stirring again, but this time, her eyes were blinking. They opened wide, gaping up at the - definitely unfamiliar - surroundings.
“Please don't…”
“Wahhhh!!” Unfortunately, Jongin’s prayers would remain unanswered. The high pitch screams filled his usually noiseless apartment, and Jongin winced. He quickly went to her side, shushing her as much as he could, but she continued to bawl, even kicking around in her crib while doing so. Jongin flung himself back onto his couch, his own face scrunched up in panic.
What to do? He runs his brain through everyone he knows, but most of them are like him, single and childless. He doubts he wants Tao around a baby, and Sehun would probably kill it. Yixing… Taemin… Luhan… everyone lived too far, or was too inexperienced, plus Jongin wasn’t sure he wanted any of that crew to know about his situation at the moment.
Miyoung’s tears grew louder, to the point of wailing. Jongin wondered if it was worth keeping a secret anymore, considering how noisy she was getting. He pulled out his phone, scrolling down his contact list. Was there anyone he knew that had some experience with kids before?
Kyungsoo!
Do Kyungsoo, who resided next door, had an older brother. This older brother had kids. They sometimes came over; he could hear the laughter and yelling through his walls. It was worth a shot.
He whimpered a I’ll be back to Miyoung, which only seem to set her off even more. Nearly stumbling over his feet, he skidded to a halt outside of the apartment next to his, knocking frantically on the door.
“Coming!” The muffled voice sounded, before the door opened. His next-door neighbor startled for a second, before blinking up at Jongin’s panicked face. “J-Jongin! Is everything alright?” Part of him would have probably wilted and stuttered an apology, seeing as Kyungsoo was still in his pajamas, but this was an emergency.
“Help.” He squeaks out instead, pointing to his own apartment. Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows, but immediately widens his eyes, as the cries get louder. Wordlessly, he follows Jongin back into his apartment, catching sight of Miyoung.
“Why. Do you. Have. A kid in your apartment. Jongin.” Jongin didn’t think it was possible, but Kyungsoo’s eyes widened even more.
“It’s a really long story but please just help me make her stop crying.” Without a word, Kyungsoo dropped to his knees in front of her crib.
“Do you have clean diapers?” Jongin pulls out the giant box that the social worker dropped off and sets it next to Kyungsoo, pulling out the bag labeled ‘diapers’.
“Shh… it’s okay…” Jongin could see Kyungsoo petting at Miyoung’s head, as he hummed a soft lullaby. Her crying didn’t stop, but decreased slightly, allowing for Kyungsoo to take off the diaper and wrap it up, before grabbing the new one from Jongin’s hands.
“Can she walk? How old is she?” Kyungsoo asked, expertly putting on the new diaper. Jongin looked away.
“A-About 14 months I-I think, b-but they say she’s gonna be slower in d-developing ‘cause of the car accident.” Kyungsoo let out a soft oh, understanding whose child Miyoung exactly was.
“We’re going to have to teach her a lot then,” Kyungsoo murmured. He took the dirty diaper to the kitchen, throwing it away. “Did you start warming her milk? Is there any baby food? No wait, she wouldn’t be eating baby food anymore, she started teething right?” Jongin could feel a headache coming.
“Jongin, does she still use a bottle? What about a pacifier? How about-“
“Kyungsoo I-I just got her about an hour ago I don’t know!” Kyungsoo froze in the kitchen. Jongin leaned his head into his hands, blinking away tears.
“I’m sorry, I’m really thankful for your help, it’s just… this is happening way to fast- and- and I just- I don’t think I can do this-“
“Hey hey hey calm down,” He blinked again, as the elder came into his view, a warm smile on his face. “We’ll get through this together. I’ll help you get use to this okay? Please don’t worry?”
Jongin blinked through his tears, a rare Kyungsoo smile greeting his eyes. He let out a weak grin of his own.
“Please don’t ever move away.” He replied softly. Kyungsoo let out a faint laugh.
“We’ll see about that.”
FOUR YEARS LATER
“I should have never asked you to stay, if it was just going to turn out like this!” Jongin wailed, hugging Miyoung close to his chest. Kyungsoo scoffed.
“Jongin stop being ridiculous.”
“Why are you doing this to me? I trusted you Kyungsoo!”
“Jongin, please.”
“I hate you!”
“I know you don’t mean that.”
“Why did I let you into our lives? Whyyyy-“
“It’s because you love me.” Kyungsoo cut in dryly. “Isn’t that right Mimi?” he added in a lighter tone, grinning at Miyoung’s happy nod in agreement, despite being held firmly against her uncle’s chest.
Jongin pouted and pulled closer. “Don’t say that Mimi, you don’t know what that mean person over there is trying to do.” He fake sobs into Miyoung’s hair. “He’s taking you away from me and sending you off to a dangerous place!”
“She’s four years old for heavens sake, daycare is not dangerous.” Kyungsoo sighed once again, getting out of front seat and opening the back. Jongin glared at him, holding Miyoung tightly. “And besides, I don’t trust those hooligans at your work place any more.”
Jongin sat up, insulted. “Language, Kyungsoo, two children are present! And they are not...” he covered Miyoung’s ears. “Hooligans, they are decent and respectable people!” Kyungsoo gave him a stare.
“Do I have to remind you what Miyoung’s first word was?” Jongin paled. Kyungsoo took the opportunity to scoop Miyoung out of the backseat, ignoring Jongin’s whining and outstretched arms across the backseat, grasping for his niece. “I’m going to sign her in and check the place out. I would have brought you along inside, but seeing that you’re an even bigger baby then Mimi is, you get to stay out here.”
“Kyungsoooo-“
“You better be seat belted and ready to go by the time I get back.” The elder paid no heed to Jongin’s continuous whines, turning his back.
“But Kyungsooo-“
“Get into the front of the car and wait for me. Seat belted, you hear?”
“Kyung-“
“That’s an order.”
“Are you still upset I sent Miyoung to daycare?” Kyungsoo groaned as Jongin continued to ignore him, opting to stare out the window instead. “Jongin, you have those dance classes to teach now in the evenings. That, on top of your regular job at the chicken store… I’m just afraid having to watch Miyoung as well is going to be too much for you to handle. Besides, it’ll be good for Miyoung if she gets to interact with other kids besides Taemin’s kids and my brothers.” He looked back over at Jongin, and sighed. “If you’re really upset though, we can go sign her out for today and try again tomorrow-“
“Do you remember…” Jongin cut in, turning to face the front again. “When I first held Miyoung, after you got her to stop crying that first day?” Kyungsoo turned silent. “I was so scared of holding her even, scared that I might drop her or cause her to cry again or… just… I was just really, really scared of having to take care of her by myself.”
“And now look, I can hardly get myself to let her go to daycare.” He chuckled softly to himself. “Look at how much times have changed. She was so little back then, so weak and vulnerable, but now… she’s grown so much into a perfect angel… Jonghyun would be so proud.” He trailed off, before turning to Kyungsoo.
“Thank you.” he added quietly. Kyungsoo blushed.
“If I got a penny every time you said that to me, I’d have enough for you to quit your jobs and stay home with Miyoung full time,” he grumbled, but the bright glow on his face betrayed his true emotions.
They pulled up to Unidentified Flying Chicken™, and Kyungsoo slowed the car. He turned to face Jongin.
“Tell you what. I’ll pick the two of you up around lunchtime, we can go celebrate your new teaching job and her first day, how’s that?” Jongin brightened up.
“For real?” His eyes popped out. Kyungsoo let out a small chuckle.
“My treat,” he smiled softly. “Now hurry up and make money so you can treat me out too.” Jongin got out of the car and bounded around it, stopping at Kyungsoo’s window.
“Can we go have Japanese food? It’s been a while…” Jongin pouted, batting his eyes in hopefully what came off as cutely. Kyungsoo groaned in exasperation.
“Please, please, pweety pwease?” Jongin continued to babble, making as good of a puppy face as he could at the elder. Kyungsoo let out a short chuckle.
“Go to work, I’ll think about it.” He sighed again as Jongin let out a whoop, knowing that he won. He continued his victorious catcalls even as Kyungsoo pulled away.
Walking inside the fast food joint, he waved at his coworker Luhan, who sat at the ordering counter, looking bored, and blatantly ignoring the other, Sehun, whose usually emotionless face twinkling with playful delight.
“Hey Jongin, getting dropped off by your sugar daddy? How sweet.”
“Shut up Sehun.” He pushed at the younger’s shoulder, growling at Sehun’s giggles. Sehun followed Jongin as he walked into the back office, clocking himself in and grabbing an apron.
“You can’t even deny it, it’s totally true.” Sehun continued, despite Jongin’s attempts to swat him away. “He practically pays for everything you own, takes you and Mimi out to eat all the time, and come on, isn’t he the one who signed Miyoungie up for that prestigious tuition needed daycare ‘cause you completely forgot four year olds go to daycares in general?” Jongin rolled his eyes, continuing to tune out his coworker.
“Lay off Sehun,” Luhan called from the counter. Jongin wanted to thank Luhan for siding with him. “Kyungsoo only does it out of pity, since Jongin is so in loooooooove with him.” And then kill the Chinese for adding on with that.
“Please not this again,” he groaned, glaring at Sehun’s increasingly louder laughs. It was nothing new to him, getting teased by tweedledum and tweedledumber about his ‘so-called unrequited love’ on Kyungsoo, and it only got more and more annoying every time they brought it up, considering, “I don’t have a crush on him.”
“Please, you totally do. That must suck though, being in love with someone way out of your league.” Sehun snorted, sliding into the seat next to Luhan. They both tilted their heads, smirking up at the other. It amazed Jongin how alike they were, especially when it came to teasing him. “Though… we’re actually pretty sure he likes you back. I mean, who the hell pays that much to send their neighbors kid to a daycare.” Jongin turned away from the two, ignoring the gnawing guilt in his stomach. He had tried to protest it, but Kyungsoo had insisted, stating how Miyoung’s doctor recommended the daycare to accommodate Miyoung’s mental needs was why she absolutely needed to go.
It’s just like something straight out of one of Tao’s favorite dramas,” Luhan chimed in, swiveling in his counter stool to join the conversation. “Rich businessman, poor peasant, and the child that brings them together.” He clasped his hands together in a dream-like stance. “What first starts as a mutual hatred and dislike for one another turns slowly into the sweetest romance, only for the male to be heartbroken upon finding his loved one has been struck with the most incurable of diseases-“
“First of all, Kyungsoo and I did not start off in mutual hatred and dislike.” Jongin cut in, rolling his eyes. “Second, I don’t have an incurable disease, which doesn't matter since we are not going to be in the sweetest of romances anyways.” He paused, frowning. “And I am not a peasant.”
“Please, compared to Kyungsoo, who works in an actual office building as head manager, you are so a peasant.” Luhan deadpanned. “And you guys are so in love. You practically worship the guy, and he pays for everything out of love. It’s just like Yixing and his rich boy toy, except Yixing repays in sex too!”
“I heard that, Luhan,” Yixing walked by the trio, causing them to jump in shock. “You three, don’t you have work to be doing, like… I don’t know, your jobs?” he tsks at them before disappearing into the stock room.
Luhan glares at his retreating back. “He’s only the manager here cause his ‘boyfriend’ owns the franchise.”
“Be careful what you say, he’s the reason we have this job.”
“And I can very well be the reason you lose them as well.” Yixing adds sweetly, causing to jump in shock again. He turns to Jongin. “Since you were the last one to report in, you have delivery duty. Better get your uniform on, we already have orders coming in. No ifs or buts, Kyungsoo texted me that you held them up at the daycare, so it’s your fault.” Jongin sulked. It was technically Kyungsoo’s fault for having sent Miyoung there. Regardless, he followed Yixing back to the back, giving on last glaring look at the two idiots out front, as they made kissing sounds behind his back. He untied his apron and grabbed the red delivery shirt and cap instead.
“Don’t pay attention to what those two say,” Yixing says, wheeling the bicycle out from the corner. Jongin snorted.
“Those two put together have less brain cells then I do, and that’s saying something. The day I take anything to they say to heart, you might as well shoot me dead.” Yixing scoffed.
“But really… do you have a crush on Kyungsoo?”Jongin jolted, blinking at Yixing curiously. Truthfully, for the past two years of working at UFC™, he’s heard enough of Sehun and Luhan’s teasing to expertly tune it all out, but this was the first time Yixing had ever contributed to the subject surrounding Jongin and Kyungsoo’s weird relationship.
“Jongin, it’s alright for you to like whoever you want to, but I’m worried that whatever is between you and Kyungsoo is only going to lead to… well is not going to end well.” Jongin let out a nervous laugh, pushing Yixing playfully.
“Well thankfully, you don’t have to use that pretty head of yours to worry about anything, since there’s nothing going on between us.” He teased, but Yixing didn’t lighten up, instead, holding onto the bike and stalling Jongin from leaving the room.
“It’s not even just if you have a crush on him anymore,” Yixing continued, despite Jongin’s attempts to bypass him. “Have you considered Kyungsoo’s feelings, if he might actually like you? I mean, Jongin, he paid for Miyoung’s daycare. Before, when he was just helping you guys out here and there, I didn’t think too much about it, but now… it’s like he really wants a permanent place in your lives.”
“He’s always had one.” Jongin looked firmly at Yixing. “Miyoung considers him an Uncle-“
“I don’t mean it that way.”
“Then what do you mean?” Yixing blinked, mouth posed to say something, but he shook his head.
“Just, you should tell him if you like him, because if you have a crush-“
“I… I don’t have a crush on him.” Jongin interjected quickly. He took a breath. “Really!” Yixing didn’t look convinced. “Yixing, don’t worry. I’m not sure what you’re implying between Kyungsoo and I, b-but I assure you that it’s nothing worrisome. I’m extremely thankful for everything that Kyungsoo’s done for us, and really wish I could pay him back, but we’re just friends, that's all.”
Because unlike Tao’s cheesy dramas or Luhan’s stupid analogies, and even Yixing’s wild musings, Jongin was not in love with Kyungsoo. Eternally grateful, yes. But having a crush on him? Definitely not.
I mean, it was normal to be in love with the way he grins, and hang onto every word that comes from his mouth because of the sexy way he says it? And to like how Kyungsoo feels when he hugs Jongin out of happiness, or to fall into a daze over the elder’s eye smiles?
But yeah, there was certainly no way he could ever have a crush on Kyungsoo. Absolutely.
(You’re using way too many synonyms of ‘definitely’ to assert your point, a small voice in his head teases him. Jongin shakes it off. He undoubted- unquesti- obvi- did not have a crush on Kyungsoo. At all.)
Anyways, it wasn’t the routine teasing from Luhan and Sehun, or the surprise conversation with Yixing that was on his mind right now. Another point that Yixing had made continued to bother him. Why did Kyungsoo pay that much for daycare? Sure, Jongin may have acted all paranoid over letting Miyoung go that morning, but truthfully, knowing that Miyoung would be going to a school known for their top quality care of children who had unfortunate backgrounds definitely put Jongin’s mind to ease. There was no way he would have been able to send Miyoung to any daycare at all on his salary, much less one catered especially towards her emotional needs.
That only bugged him even more. Miyoung wasn’t Kyungsoo’s ward; she was under the custody of Jongin. So why had he covered the cost?
“Hey Kyungsoo?” he asked the elder, as the three of them walked out of the Japanese restaurant they ate at. Kyungsoo got held up at work, which meant they couldn’t go out to eat then, so as a result, the elder gave into Jongin (and - by order of Jongin - Miyoung’s) pleas for sushi that night.
“Kyungsoo, I’m really thankful you paid for Mimi’s daycare tuition,” Kyungsoo made an imaginary penny clunk into an invisible jar, rolling his eyes at Jongin’s millionth and one thanks. “But seriously, you didn’t have too, like… that's a lot.”
“I wanted too.” he shrugged, taking Miyoung’s hand into his own.
“B-but…” Jongin stuttered, keeping his eyes on the two’s interlocked hands. It was cute, seeing Miyoung’s tiny palm fit so well with Kyungsoo’s own small hand. “B-but why? I mean, why help us out so tremendously financially? N-not just in the daycare, but in a lot of other stuff too?” Kyungsoo slowed his steps, his eyes wrinkled in thought. He looked up at Jongin.
“Miyoungie’s cute?” Jongin furrowed his eyebrows.
“That’s it?”
“Andsoareyou.” Jongin jumped back in shock.
“What?”
“What?” Kyungsoo mirrored, grinning mischievously. Jongin blinked. Maybe he was hearing things. There was no way Kyungsoo thought he was cute.
He turned to Miyoung, who was skipping in between the two. “Hey, Mimi, what did Kyungsoo say?” She looked up innocently between the two, lips pursed in thought.
“I don't think Uncle Kyungsoo said anything!” Kyungsoo let out a laugh.
“That’s a good girl,” he grinned, patting her head. Jongin’s heart softened as he saw the interaction between the two. They liked to joke that despite being blood related to Jongin, Miyoung liked Kyungsoo more. The two had a special relationship that grew only more over the years. Granted, Kyungsoo always had a head start over Jongin into Miyoungs heart, considering that the elder was always more experienced with children, but there was something about Kyungsoo’s personality that drew people in. It wasn’t only Miyoung, but even Jongin would admit he had only grown closer to the elder over the years, due to his serious but easygoing character.
In fact… he could see how the guys at work would think Jongin had a crush on the elder (not that he did). Kyungsoo was definitely the type that others would be lucky to date, with his cute but sarcastic personality, and timid but firm nature. It wasn’t like the other was bad looking even, at times Jongin would admit to being lost in his endless eyes, or wondering how those heart shaped lips would feel. All out of curiousity of course, nothing else.
And yet… he continues to look down at Kyungsoo, who walked with such an elegance, who carried a professional aura of wealth and power. He never noticed before, but Kyungsoo always wore pristine button ups and expensive jeans, a heavy difference from Jongin’s own street clothes and Miyoung’s hand me downs.
Even if a tiny, miniscule part of him actually likes Kyungsoo (emphasize on the tiny and miniscule part, because there was no way Jongin would let his whole heart be taken by the ethereal male next to him at all), there was no way he could act on it anyways.
And it didn’t matter anyways! Because Jongin! Didn’t! Like! Kyungsoo at all!
“Jongin, don’t think too much about it,” Kyungsoo cut into Jongin’s thoughts, flashing a wide smile at him. “It’s all out of my love for you and Miyoung, right Mimi?” The little girl nodded, grinning a similar smile up at Jongin. It did nothing to calm the unease in his heart however, still staring unconvinced at Kyungsoo.
They walk up to Kyungsoo’s car, one of the newest Infiniti models that just released this year. Jongin’s heart sank. Sehun’s words from before came floating back in his mind.
He’d never paid much attention to it before, but Kyungsoo was always on a different social level then him and Miyoung. In the four years that passed since they first met that frantic night of Miyoung’s arrival, while Jongin had struggled through school and juggling various jobs, Kyungsoo had worked himself up to head manager of the conglomerate he worked at, which was straight in the middle of their city, where only the wealthiest resided. However, all this time, Kyungsoo’s humble attitude coupled with him staying at the small apartment building on the outskirts where they first met had meant Jongin never minded the large financial differences between the two.
But now… he wondered why Kyungsoo was still living next door to Jongin. He wondered why Kyungsoo, who was most likely making hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars, still bothered with Jongin, who in his lifetime would never be able to pay the elder back for all he had done. Yixing’s words about Kyungsoo paying for Miyoung’s daycare tuition came rushing back, along with Luhan’s words about Kyungsoo doing it all out of pity.
And maybe that’s why he really won’t even admit to his crush; which - if Jongin was actually honest with himself - was definitely more then just a small liking, or tiny interest, or brotherly infatuation. Maybe that’s why Jongin hides his true feelings, an unrequited crush - as Luhan said - that only grew more and more each time he saw the elder. Maybe, in the end, that’s why he repeatedly denies his love for Kyungsoo, no matter how much more he falls each time they are together.
It’s not like he can act upon any of it anyways, because he’s 100% positive Kyungsoo will never like him back.
“So basically you’re in love with Kyungsoo, but you simultaneously want him to disappear from your life, so you won’t feel guilty about possibly holding him back from doing his own thing, because you think he only sticks around ‘cause he pities you guys, which is why you won’t admit your love for him, since there’s no way he would like you back.“ Taemin blinked twice, staring despairingly at Jongin. “Dude, you can’t lay this shit on me during a play date.”
“Language!” Jongin hissed. Taemin snickered, pointing at the trio of kids, who were too engrossed with the TV to notice their male guardians.
“I need alcohol,” Taemin continued, sliding down the couch to the kitchen, only to be grabbed by Jongin.
“Kids!” he hisses again, jerking his head towards the TV. Taemin rolled his eyes, but returned to his seat. The two were currently at Taemin’s house, at one of the prearranged ‘playdates’ that Soojung set her twins and Miyoung up with. Jongin knows the real reason is so the other could have some free time away from Jinki, Jinri, and most likely Taemin as well, but he doesn’t mind, since it gives him time to chat with his best friend.
“Dude, I’m still not seeing the problem here,” Taemin says instead, crossing his arms. “I mean, you’re in love with him-“
“Can we please stop throwing that word around I’m not ‘in love’ per say-“
“And he obviously feels something for you, so all that’s left to do is have one drunken night while Miyoung asleep and bam! his ass is yours!” Taemin sat back, satisfied. “Well, more like your ass is his ‘cause it’s obvious he’d top-“
“Language! Children! Adult Content! Keep it G rated!” Jongin threw his hand over Taemin’s mouth. “And why does everyone think he feels something for me? It makes no sense, when he is practically surrounded by beautiful rich people day in and day out, which would probably be 100 times better lover material then I am?” Taemin rolled his eyes and licked Jongin’s hands, earning a squeal from the other.
“If you seriously think Kyungsoo only takes someone’s financial situation into consideration when finding a mate, then you obviously don’t know your neighbor at all.” Taemin continued. “Anyone a mile away can see he likes you back.”
“He does not.” Jongin paused. “And I don’t-“
“Please cut the cra-poop.” Taemin corrected himself, flinging his legs onto Jongin’s lap and leaning into the armrest of the couch. “Like seriously, you have a crush on him. He likes you back. This is practically a love story waiting to happen, so go get your man! Why are you worrying about holding him back and being a nuisance and all that other nonsense?”
“But that's the thing! Even if I did have this ‘so called’ crush on Kyungsoo,” (“Stop lying” Taemin coughed into his hand) “I wouldn’t be able to ‘act’ on it anyways, because what do I have to offer? I’m a 23 year old who has a four-year-old child under my wing and has to work two jobs in order to put food on the table for us. He wears thousand-dollar suits to work, I wear a chicken costume. It’s like… Cinderella and Prince Charming!” he points to the movie that the three kids were watching. “It’s obvious he only pities us, and is helping me out because he feels bad I got stuck with Mimi.” Jongin eyes drop, his lip pouting out. “Maybe I shouldn’t have accepted his help from the beginning. I should have set a boundary over how much I let him baby Miyoung. I was just happy that someone could help give Mimi what she deserves, that I’ve been completely blind to how much it’s hindering him from going on with his own life-“
“Why. Do. We keep coming back to this?!” Taemin exploded, causing the three kids to look back in concern. “Keep watching you guys, Uncle Jongin’s just being a idiot right now.”
“Language!”
“Jongin, Kyungsoo loves you guys. He fucking adores Miyoung- (“Lang-“ “Please stop.”) and definitely likes you. Of course, I’m not sure what he sees in you, considering how much of a pus- wimp you are, but I know that he has that special look when he’s around you, that one that sparkles with happiness whenever he sees you. He has like a special voice when he’s talking with you too, he gets all soft and tender when he’s with you or Mimi compared to everyone else in the world-“
“You’re lying, stop trying to make me feel better.”
“I’m not lying!” Taemin groaned, leaning his head over the side of the couch in frustration. “I mean, I get it. You’re just afraid of acting on your feelings. Kyungsoo’s done a lot for you over the years; it’s natural to feel like insecure about liking him, and wondering if you’re good enough to be his boyfriend. Somewhere deep deep deep inside you, you’re worried that by confessing, it’ll only make Kyungsoo pity you more, not only ‘cause your sad state but the burden of your love for him as well. But honestly, you should know the guy better then that. Kyungsoo can’t ever pity you guys, I mean, it’s pretty obvious he loves Miyoung, and by paying for her daycare fees, he wants the best for her. And well, it’s like what Luhan said, he wants a permanent place in both of your lives, and this is his way of telling you that.“
“Jongin, you need to stop being so insecure, if you saw you guys relationship from an outside source, even someone as dense as you could see the love radiating between the two of you. So why don’t you just act on your feelings and stop overthinking this?”
Jongin stayed silent, refusing to look at his friend. It was easy for Taemin to say all that, since he and Soojung didn’t have a large social difference between them, and had been the dream high school couple back then. Even if everyone else told him to act on his heart, it was definitely easier said then done. He just couldn’t ignore the dark cloud of worry that told him ‘it’s not what they all say. Kyungsoo doesn’t like you back. Everyone’s misreading it.’
“Jongin, please stop over- Jinri, stop pulling on Jinki’s hair, he hardly has any left thanks to you!” Jinri’s high-pitched squeal broke into his thoughts. Jongin winced as the young girl ignored her father’s words and continued anyway, before taking it upon himself to separate the twins. Jinri giggled as Jongin wrenched her hands out of her brother’s hair, and it really surprised him that Jinki wasn’t crying based on how much the girl had yanked out.
“How did you get Miyoung to be a perfect little angel ‘cause I want some of that magic for Jinri,” Taemin complains, seating Jinri into his lap far away from Jinki. The little girl bubbles and squirms. “Yes, I mean you you little brat, you’re lucky I love you so much.” He chuckles as Jinri scratches at his arms, demanding to be released. Jongin pulled Miyoung into his own lap, as the two watched, amused.
“Well obviously, she learned from the best,” he bragged, teasingly sticking his tongue out at Taemin, who scoffed in return. “I mean, I’m obviously the best role model, right Mimi?” she nodded enthusiastically.
“And Uncle Kyungsoo too!” she chimed in. Jongin blanked. Taemin let out a knowing smirk.
“Ahh… and Uncle Kyungsoo?” Miyoung shook her head enthusiastically.
“They're the best uncles out there in the world!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up and hitting Jongin in the face. “Sorry Jonginnie.”
“Best uncles, huh…” Jongin really wanted to wipe the grin off Taemin’s face, as the other continued to flash mischievous looks at Jongin. “And you want them to stay with you forever and ever, right?”
“Of course!” Miyoung giggle, leaning back into Jongin. He flinched at her words, which caused the girl to look up unsurely at Jongin. He managed a weak glance back. “I-if t-they want…”
Taemin let out a small chuckle, this time giving Jongin a more meaningful look.
“Oh I think Jongin does want that, doesn’t he?”
( Part 2 )