Arashi: A Golden Moon (12)
AUTHOR: Marineko/mylittlecthulhu
FANDOM: Arashi
PAIRING: Juntoshi
RATING: G
DATE: March 19th, 2011
WORD COUNT: 3,100
NOTES/DISCLAIMERS: I do not own Arashi. This is a continuation of This Year's Sakura, although it could be read on its own. **This chapter was written for the Japan Earthquake & Tsunami Relief Fund, as a request by kitsune_jade
Chapter Eleven | Chapter Thirteen
CHAPTER TWELVE | A Kiss to Pledge Eternity
Knowing that Ohno wasn’t going to stop, Jun, who was already standing by the door, stepped out of the restaurant. He hated causing a scene. Hated drawing any attention to himself. He wished Ohno would just leave with him. He fidgeted outside, able to see Ohno through the restaurant window. The two ADs were dining at the front corner, so it was easy for him to see them from where he was. Ohno was talking to them, and he seemed relatively calm on the surface, which Jun was grateful for. But he’d seen the way Ohno had looked, and he knew Ohno, and he knew that the artist’s control was already slipping. One of the men he was talking to looked contrite, but the other said something back to Ohno, something that made Jun tense as he saw Ohno’s hand shoot out to grab the AD’s collar. Ohno bent down, obscuring Jun’s view as he replied to whatever the man had said, but then he let go of the guy, and walked away.
Jun opened his mouth to tell Ohno off about making a spectacle in public, but the artist merely gave him a cool look and continued walking. Jun hurried to follow him, trying not to think about the pang he felt from being ignored by Ohno.
})i({
The bus, strangely enough, was empty. There were three high school girls chattering at the front, but they got down a few stops after Ohno and Jun got on. No one else got on throughout the rest of their way back. Jun had got on first, choosing a seat at the back, further away from the girls. He’d expected Ohno to sit next to him, but Ohno sat at the front, behind the girls, instead. Jun looked out the window, biting his lips. He didn’t know why Ohno was acting the way he was.
He stared out at the street lights without really seeing anything. He thought that he felt the way the bus felt to him, emptied and hollowed out. Inside, a sort of cold anxiousness started to build. Sometimes he thought that he’d never understand Ohno. Ohno wasn’t like Sho, always ready to tell Jun what he thought, always insisting on doing things his way and never giving up when there was something he wanted. He had heard that as kids, Sho and Aiba used to get into a lot of scrapes together. He had a hard time imagining Ohno being like that. But perhaps Ohno was more like Sho than people thought - it’s there in the way that he always knew what he wanted and always stood his ground. Ohno was like Sho in the sense that he lived the life he chose for himself, and he lived bravely, Jun concluded. He wasn’t like either of them. Even though he enjoyed his job, it would be more accurate to say that he fell into it rather than having chosen it for himself. And he was timid. He knew this - he rarely reached out for anything, and he always found himself shrinking back in trepidation. He always found himself caring too much and being too afraid of being proven a failure, causing him to let go of whatever it was that he had wanted to hold on to in the end.
Aiba had been Sho’s natural partner when it came to adventures. Jun preferred the safety of the small world he’d built for himself - populated by his work, his books, his photography, and a few friends. He didn’t know where Ohno would fit in that world, and he didn’t want to find out that Ohno didn’t. He wouldn’t make a good companion for Ohno, either. While Jun now saw how Sho had probably seen him as a refuge of sorts, a place to rest after his adventures wore him down, he also knew that the same thing could only be a trap, or cage, for Ohno.
Not good, he told himself, banishing his thoughts away. It wouldn’t do to dwell too much on Ohno. The man was an enigma to him, most of the time, but it didn’t mean that he had to be fixated on Ohno. Especially when Ohno was obviously mad at him for something, and he didn’t even know what it was.
})i({
“Ohno.”
Ohno had headed straight to the guest room as soon as they reached home. Jun felt irrational fear and annoyance prickle at him. He decided that he didn’t care if Ohno hated him; he just wanted to be told.
Ohno paused for a fraction when he heard his name, but then, still wearing the same undecipherable expression, he moved on.
“Satoshi.” Jun could no longer keep the calm in his voice - the cold dread and staccato of panic drumming in him could be heard clearly. Ohno stopped, turned. “What did he say to you?”
It must be that, Jun thought. Ohno had seemed relatively normal until then. He wondered which of the rumours about him that had slipped from that AD’s mouth - he wondered if it was one of the rumours that were true, and he wondered if he would ever be able to salvage his relationship with Ohno, even though he didn’t even know what sort of relationship it was. A friendship, he supposed, complicated by past love and present longing. A battle, although he didn’t know what it was that they were fighting for.
Ohno just gave him a long look, as if debating whether or not to tell him. Then he shrugged. “Nothing. Just that he didn’t think I was rich, or influential, enough to keep you.”
Oh, Jun thought. So that was it. He knew that there was more to it than that, that the word “keep” signified something else - like his mother, he was meant to be “kept.” Before he had his own place, when he was still struggling as a model and occasional stage actor, he had been with someone who thought that way. He had liked Nagase-san because the man was everything his father wasn’t - warm, loud, funny, affectionate. It made him blind to the ways that Nagase-san was, very much, like his father. It wasn’t until two months into their relationship, realizing that he had been taking on less and less jobs because Nagase-san “needed” him to be around at certain events or functions, and that he was starting to report every single night out or casual lunch with his friends to his boyfriend, always meeting with Nagase-san’s disapproval, that it hit him. He was turning into his mother. He enjoyed Nagase-san’s company, and Nagase-san liked him - he knew that much. But a pet well kept and doted on was still a pet, in the end. So he left the man, moved out to live on his own, and never looked back.
It was funny how that had been so many years ago, and didn’t even last that long, but he was still remembered as that person. That boy, really, because he was still very young at the time. He sighed, knowing that this particular rumour was true enough that he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, make excuses for himself to Ohno. “He told you about Nagase-san.”
“He didn’t,” Ohno said, keeping his tone neutral. “But I’ve heard.”
Jun didn’t ask who Ohno had heard it from. It didn’t matter, he supposed, when it came down to it. Ohno would have heard about that, about everything, eventually.
He should be happy. He wanted Ohno to back off, didn’t he? And now Ohno had reason to do so.
“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely, because he was. Even though he wanted the artist to stop pursuing him, he hadn’t wanted Ohno to be disappointed in him. Knowing the cause of Ohno’s coldness toward him, his dread was melting away, replaced by a helpless anguish, a feeling like he was being trapped in a cage of his own making.
He didn’t expect much from the apology, and was surprised when Ohno’s face tightened in anger. “I’m sick of this,” Ohno suddenly said. Ohno wasn’t yelling, not really, but Jun had never heard Ohno so loud, had never thought that Ohno was capable of so much anger, before. He stepped back, involuntarily, but Ohno only moved forwards. “I’m sick of you always apologizing for yourself. I’m sick of you always thinking the worst about yourself. I’m sick of seeing you just standing there and letting them do that to you. I’m sick of you believing in what they’re saying.”
Jun couldn’t say a thing to that. He just stood, stricken, pale, more than a little shocked by the outburst. When it seemed that Ohno had run out of steam, unused to his own rare display of emotion, he finally responded, unsteadily.
“It’s easy for you to say, because you’re only in my life now, when it suits you. I’ve been going through this all my life. I know who I am. I know it all comes as a part of it - it comes with what I do, with the family I’m from. It hurts, but I can’t spend the rest of my life defending myself. I’m not that strong. The only thing I can do is to continue living my life, the only way I know how.” He gave a short, self-deprecating, laugh. “I’m a coward, Ohno. And like all cowards, I’m ugly and twisted inside. Try painting that next time.”
“But you’re beautiful.”
Jun shook his head, tired. “I’ve heard that before, too. More times than I can count.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” Taking one more step towards Jun, Ohno was finally close enough to lay a hand on the model, which he did, tentatively. His right hand touched Jun’s chest, over where his heart would be. “I meant in here.”
“Ohno.” Jun’s word was a caution, and a plea. Please stop, he thought. Don’t stop.
“You won’t believe me, I know. But that’s okay. I’ll show you. Every day, I’ll show you.”
Ohno’s hands pressed, moved, explored, and he knew that Ohno could feel the pounding of his heart. “You’re still not playing fair.”
“I never said that I would.” Angling his head to look up at Jun with a teasing, amused look, he asked, “remind me what we were fighting about?”
Jun couldn’t remember. “I can’t think,” he admitted. He could barely breathe.
Ohno’s smile was lazy, giving no warning as he tugged Jun closer. It was Jun who leaned over, though, reaching out for what was offered. Restless and electrified, he thought. A firecracker that had just been lit, and left to crackle and jump. That was what was running under his skin, making him greedy, impatient. Ohno pushed back, steadying him, keeping him with an unhurried, sinking pace, patiently coaxing Jun to slow down.
When he finally did, it felt like his entire world had just flipped over, and he was never going to be able to put everything back in place again.
})i({
Aiba and Nino sat side by side in a bar that was a half-an-hour drive from their hometown. Even with the light buzz of alcohol making him heady and elated, Aiba’s sigh was loud enough to make Nino look at him with worry.
“Do you think I’m being stupid?” he asked. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t even know if this is a good idea. Sho-chan used to be my best friend.”
Nino thought about it. “So now he’s more than that,” he said carefully. “It doesn’t stop him from being your best friend.”
“But you’re my best friend now!” Aiba exclaimed, a little tearfully. He was always somewhat overemotional when he was buzzed.
Nino hit him lightly over the head, telling him to calm down, even as he felt warmth pooling inside. He’d been feeling a little bereft after Ohno disappeared on them. He’d always enjoyed Aiba’s company the most, but he had also known that Aiba and Sho were a unit in a way that he’d never understand. It had never mattered, because he loved both of them, and he had Ohno. All of his life, from the first time Ohno had taken his hands and walked him home when his sister wasn’t around, Nino had felt that Ohno was his, and his only. It didn’t matter that their relationship was platonic, that he didn’t think of Ohno the way Sho and Aiba thought of each other. He and Ohno were never supposed to part. It was one thing he never really questioned, until that morning he was about to walk into the kitchen and saw Ohno stealing a kiss from Jun. He hadn’t even known that Ohno liked guys - although even now, he doubted that that was really the case. Ohno was Ohno, and Ohno liked what he liked. Any attempt to explain his friend was likely to be met with a lot of tangled confusion, and failure. Nino wondered how someone could be so simple and so frustratingly complicated at the same time.
Ohno may be complicated, but Jun was a complication. Nino didn’t know where Jun fit in with the rest of them, but he didn’t doubt the fact that Jun fit. His involvement with both Sho and Ohno, and the fact that Aiba actually liked him, had cemented that. It probably didn’t help that Nino thought that Jun was pretty decent, when he wasn’t trying to steal Ohno from him.
Shaking his head, he remembered Aiba’s sentiment, and smiled. Friends, he thought. When it came down to it, he had to say that where friendship was concerned, he had the best in the world. “Aiba-chan,” he said. “I’m telling you this now, and I’m only telling you this once, because I am feeling a little high right now and we can blame it on the alcohol later and never speak of it again. Seriously, I’m going to deny I ever said this in the future, okay?” Aiba gave him a puzzled look, and he continued, “you’re my favourite. I like Aiba-chan the most. That’s why - shit, don’t you dare cry on me now!”
“I’m not crying,” Aiba said, trying to hold back a sniffle. “I love you toooooooo…”
His last statement was loud enough to draw looks from neighbouring customers. A bartend immediately went to their side.
“Uh, I’m sorry, I have nothing against gay people myself, but I’m afraid that the two of you are disturbing our other customers and I have to ask you to leave…”
Aiba flushed. “We’re not gay,” he blurted out. “I mean, I am, but we’re not gay for each other, you know. I mean, he’s not. Well, maybe I’m not either, since I also like girls, but I have a boyfriend… who isn’t him…”
“Sorry for troubling you,” Nino said loudly, over Aiba’s rambles. “I’m taking this idiot back home now.”
“But you’re the one who started it,” Aiba wailed in complaint, as Nino dragged him out of the bar.
})i({
“Aiba-chan, I think you had too much to drink.”
The two of them sat at the pavement outside a 7-Eleven, nursing hot coffee in their hands. Much too late, Nino remembered that they should have taken along someone who could be their designated driver. Oh well, he thought, taking a sip of his coffee. The damage is done. He’d have to wait until he was sure he was completely sober enough to drive back. He doubted Aiba would be, not anytime soon.
“There’s no such thing as ‘too much to drink,’” Aiba protested. But he was calmer than he had been earlier. “Seriously, though,” he said. “I know he loves me, and that he chose me - so why does it bother me that he also loved Jun?”
“Because he had something with Jun that he couldn’t have with you,” Nino replied.
“Ouch.”
“You asked.” Letting his head fall on Aiba’s shoulder, he continued, “what you should realize is that this isn’t a competition. It isn’t about which of you he loves more, or loves better. It’s just… different. It’s like how Sho-chan’s always going to be your best friend, and yet you say that I’m your best friend too.”
“Different,” Aiba mused. “Like you with Oh-chan, too. You’re really jealous that Jun has all of his attention now, aren’t you?”
Aiba never misses anything when it came to his friends. Nino had forgotten that, in all those times he’d spent worrying over if Aiba would ever be okay again. This time, he thought, maybe it was all right for him to need Aiba, instead of the other way around.
“There’s that,” he agreed. “And there’s also something else that just hit me recently. It completely took my by surprise, this realization.” He straightened up, and waited until Aiba looked back at him. “I’m going to be a father. I barely even remember my own father, and I don’t know anything about being one, and yet… I’m actually going to be a father.”
Aiba laughed. Nino glared, as his best friend choked out, “you’re only realizing this now?”
“It’s not funny,” Nino insisted. Then, wonderingly, “I don’t even know how this happened.”
“Sorry, sorry. I know, it’s not funny. But, you know, this is why those sex education classes come in handy. Have no one told you about the birds and the bees?”
Nino hit Aiba again, but this time, he was laughing, too. They soon got caught up with their laughter, and started to tell each other funny stories to make them laugh even more, until Nino was sure that Aiba had forgotten the gravity of his question in the first place.
It was only hours later, when they were getting into Asami’s car, which Nino borrowed while she’s away, that Aiba said, “I think you’re going to be a great father, Nino-chan. And you won’t be alone. Asami would be there with you all the way - she’s awesome like that. And your baby will have a bunch of uncles who will love and spoil them like crazy.” He looked wistful. “You’ll have a family.”
Nino’s eyes met Aiba’s, as he about growing up without a father, but being treated like a son by Aiba’s late father. Getting into so much trouble with Aiba and Sho and Yuu-chan, the brothers he always wished he had. Going to Sho’s after school, because his mother would be at work and his house was empty. Sneaking in through Ohno’s window at night, for no reason other than wanting the comfort of his friend’s presence.
He told Aiba, “so will you. Because all of you are family, too.”
~ to be continued ~
Chapter Eleven | Chapter Thirteen
Marineko's Notes:
Thanks Salwa who talks through my fics with me XD
Because I don't think I could write them this quickly without that.
(The Aimiya and Nagase's brief mention was for you!)
FANDOM: Arashi
PAIRING: Juntoshi
RATING: G
DATE: March 19th, 2011
WORD COUNT: 3,100
NOTES/DISCLAIMERS: I do not own Arashi. This is a continuation of This Year's Sakura, although it could be read on its own. **This chapter was written for the Japan Earthquake & Tsunami Relief Fund, as a request by kitsune_jade
Chapter Eleven | Chapter Thirteen
CHAPTER TWELVE | A Kiss to Pledge Eternity
Knowing that Ohno wasn’t going to stop, Jun, who was already standing by the door, stepped out of the restaurant. He hated causing a scene. Hated drawing any attention to himself. He wished Ohno would just leave with him. He fidgeted outside, able to see Ohno through the restaurant window. The two ADs were dining at the front corner, so it was easy for him to see them from where he was. Ohno was talking to them, and he seemed relatively calm on the surface, which Jun was grateful for. But he’d seen the way Ohno had looked, and he knew Ohno, and he knew that the artist’s control was already slipping. One of the men he was talking to looked contrite, but the other said something back to Ohno, something that made Jun tense as he saw Ohno’s hand shoot out to grab the AD’s collar. Ohno bent down, obscuring Jun’s view as he replied to whatever the man had said, but then he let go of the guy, and walked away.
Jun opened his mouth to tell Ohno off about making a spectacle in public, but the artist merely gave him a cool look and continued walking. Jun hurried to follow him, trying not to think about the pang he felt from being ignored by Ohno.
})i({
The bus, strangely enough, was empty. There were three high school girls chattering at the front, but they got down a few stops after Ohno and Jun got on. No one else got on throughout the rest of their way back. Jun had got on first, choosing a seat at the back, further away from the girls. He’d expected Ohno to sit next to him, but Ohno sat at the front, behind the girls, instead. Jun looked out the window, biting his lips. He didn’t know why Ohno was acting the way he was.
He stared out at the street lights without really seeing anything. He thought that he felt the way the bus felt to him, emptied and hollowed out. Inside, a sort of cold anxiousness started to build. Sometimes he thought that he’d never understand Ohno. Ohno wasn’t like Sho, always ready to tell Jun what he thought, always insisting on doing things his way and never giving up when there was something he wanted. He had heard that as kids, Sho and Aiba used to get into a lot of scrapes together. He had a hard time imagining Ohno being like that. But perhaps Ohno was more like Sho than people thought - it’s there in the way that he always knew what he wanted and always stood his ground. Ohno was like Sho in the sense that he lived the life he chose for himself, and he lived bravely, Jun concluded. He wasn’t like either of them. Even though he enjoyed his job, it would be more accurate to say that he fell into it rather than having chosen it for himself. And he was timid. He knew this - he rarely reached out for anything, and he always found himself shrinking back in trepidation. He always found himself caring too much and being too afraid of being proven a failure, causing him to let go of whatever it was that he had wanted to hold on to in the end.
Aiba had been Sho’s natural partner when it came to adventures. Jun preferred the safety of the small world he’d built for himself - populated by his work, his books, his photography, and a few friends. He didn’t know where Ohno would fit in that world, and he didn’t want to find out that Ohno didn’t. He wouldn’t make a good companion for Ohno, either. While Jun now saw how Sho had probably seen him as a refuge of sorts, a place to rest after his adventures wore him down, he also knew that the same thing could only be a trap, or cage, for Ohno.
Not good, he told himself, banishing his thoughts away. It wouldn’t do to dwell too much on Ohno. The man was an enigma to him, most of the time, but it didn’t mean that he had to be fixated on Ohno. Especially when Ohno was obviously mad at him for something, and he didn’t even know what it was.
})i({
“Ohno.”
Ohno had headed straight to the guest room as soon as they reached home. Jun felt irrational fear and annoyance prickle at him. He decided that he didn’t care if Ohno hated him; he just wanted to be told.
Ohno paused for a fraction when he heard his name, but then, still wearing the same undecipherable expression, he moved on.
“Satoshi.” Jun could no longer keep the calm in his voice - the cold dread and staccato of panic drumming in him could be heard clearly. Ohno stopped, turned. “What did he say to you?”
It must be that, Jun thought. Ohno had seemed relatively normal until then. He wondered which of the rumours about him that had slipped from that AD’s mouth - he wondered if it was one of the rumours that were true, and he wondered if he would ever be able to salvage his relationship with Ohno, even though he didn’t even know what sort of relationship it was. A friendship, he supposed, complicated by past love and present longing. A battle, although he didn’t know what it was that they were fighting for.
Ohno just gave him a long look, as if debating whether or not to tell him. Then he shrugged. “Nothing. Just that he didn’t think I was rich, or influential, enough to keep you.”
Oh, Jun thought. So that was it. He knew that there was more to it than that, that the word “keep” signified something else - like his mother, he was meant to be “kept.” Before he had his own place, when he was still struggling as a model and occasional stage actor, he had been with someone who thought that way. He had liked Nagase-san because the man was everything his father wasn’t - warm, loud, funny, affectionate. It made him blind to the ways that Nagase-san was, very much, like his father. It wasn’t until two months into their relationship, realizing that he had been taking on less and less jobs because Nagase-san “needed” him to be around at certain events or functions, and that he was starting to report every single night out or casual lunch with his friends to his boyfriend, always meeting with Nagase-san’s disapproval, that it hit him. He was turning into his mother. He enjoyed Nagase-san’s company, and Nagase-san liked him - he knew that much. But a pet well kept and doted on was still a pet, in the end. So he left the man, moved out to live on his own, and never looked back.
It was funny how that had been so many years ago, and didn’t even last that long, but he was still remembered as that person. That boy, really, because he was still very young at the time. He sighed, knowing that this particular rumour was true enough that he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, make excuses for himself to Ohno. “He told you about Nagase-san.”
“He didn’t,” Ohno said, keeping his tone neutral. “But I’ve heard.”
Jun didn’t ask who Ohno had heard it from. It didn’t matter, he supposed, when it came down to it. Ohno would have heard about that, about everything, eventually.
He should be happy. He wanted Ohno to back off, didn’t he? And now Ohno had reason to do so.
“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely, because he was. Even though he wanted the artist to stop pursuing him, he hadn’t wanted Ohno to be disappointed in him. Knowing the cause of Ohno’s coldness toward him, his dread was melting away, replaced by a helpless anguish, a feeling like he was being trapped in a cage of his own making.
He didn’t expect much from the apology, and was surprised when Ohno’s face tightened in anger. “I’m sick of this,” Ohno suddenly said. Ohno wasn’t yelling, not really, but Jun had never heard Ohno so loud, had never thought that Ohno was capable of so much anger, before. He stepped back, involuntarily, but Ohno only moved forwards. “I’m sick of you always apologizing for yourself. I’m sick of you always thinking the worst about yourself. I’m sick of seeing you just standing there and letting them do that to you. I’m sick of you believing in what they’re saying.”
Jun couldn’t say a thing to that. He just stood, stricken, pale, more than a little shocked by the outburst. When it seemed that Ohno had run out of steam, unused to his own rare display of emotion, he finally responded, unsteadily.
“It’s easy for you to say, because you’re only in my life now, when it suits you. I’ve been going through this all my life. I know who I am. I know it all comes as a part of it - it comes with what I do, with the family I’m from. It hurts, but I can’t spend the rest of my life defending myself. I’m not that strong. The only thing I can do is to continue living my life, the only way I know how.” He gave a short, self-deprecating, laugh. “I’m a coward, Ohno. And like all cowards, I’m ugly and twisted inside. Try painting that next time.”
“But you’re beautiful.”
Jun shook his head, tired. “I’ve heard that before, too. More times than I can count.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” Taking one more step towards Jun, Ohno was finally close enough to lay a hand on the model, which he did, tentatively. His right hand touched Jun’s chest, over where his heart would be. “I meant in here.”
“Ohno.” Jun’s word was a caution, and a plea. Please stop, he thought. Don’t stop.
“You won’t believe me, I know. But that’s okay. I’ll show you. Every day, I’ll show you.”
Ohno’s hands pressed, moved, explored, and he knew that Ohno could feel the pounding of his heart. “You’re still not playing fair.”
“I never said that I would.” Angling his head to look up at Jun with a teasing, amused look, he asked, “remind me what we were fighting about?”
Jun couldn’t remember. “I can’t think,” he admitted. He could barely breathe.
Ohno’s smile was lazy, giving no warning as he tugged Jun closer. It was Jun who leaned over, though, reaching out for what was offered. Restless and electrified, he thought. A firecracker that had just been lit, and left to crackle and jump. That was what was running under his skin, making him greedy, impatient. Ohno pushed back, steadying him, keeping him with an unhurried, sinking pace, patiently coaxing Jun to slow down.
When he finally did, it felt like his entire world had just flipped over, and he was never going to be able to put everything back in place again.
})i({
Aiba and Nino sat side by side in a bar that was a half-an-hour drive from their hometown. Even with the light buzz of alcohol making him heady and elated, Aiba’s sigh was loud enough to make Nino look at him with worry.
“Do you think I’m being stupid?” he asked. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t even know if this is a good idea. Sho-chan used to be my best friend.”
Nino thought about it. “So now he’s more than that,” he said carefully. “It doesn’t stop him from being your best friend.”
“But you’re my best friend now!” Aiba exclaimed, a little tearfully. He was always somewhat overemotional when he was buzzed.
Nino hit him lightly over the head, telling him to calm down, even as he felt warmth pooling inside. He’d been feeling a little bereft after Ohno disappeared on them. He’d always enjoyed Aiba’s company the most, but he had also known that Aiba and Sho were a unit in a way that he’d never understand. It had never mattered, because he loved both of them, and he had Ohno. All of his life, from the first time Ohno had taken his hands and walked him home when his sister wasn’t around, Nino had felt that Ohno was his, and his only. It didn’t matter that their relationship was platonic, that he didn’t think of Ohno the way Sho and Aiba thought of each other. He and Ohno were never supposed to part. It was one thing he never really questioned, until that morning he was about to walk into the kitchen and saw Ohno stealing a kiss from Jun. He hadn’t even known that Ohno liked guys - although even now, he doubted that that was really the case. Ohno was Ohno, and Ohno liked what he liked. Any attempt to explain his friend was likely to be met with a lot of tangled confusion, and failure. Nino wondered how someone could be so simple and so frustratingly complicated at the same time.
Ohno may be complicated, but Jun was a complication. Nino didn’t know where Jun fit in with the rest of them, but he didn’t doubt the fact that Jun fit. His involvement with both Sho and Ohno, and the fact that Aiba actually liked him, had cemented that. It probably didn’t help that Nino thought that Jun was pretty decent, when he wasn’t trying to steal Ohno from him.
Shaking his head, he remembered Aiba’s sentiment, and smiled. Friends, he thought. When it came down to it, he had to say that where friendship was concerned, he had the best in the world. “Aiba-chan,” he said. “I’m telling you this now, and I’m only telling you this once, because I am feeling a little high right now and we can blame it on the alcohol later and never speak of it again. Seriously, I’m going to deny I ever said this in the future, okay?” Aiba gave him a puzzled look, and he continued, “you’re my favourite. I like Aiba-chan the most. That’s why - shit, don’t you dare cry on me now!”
“I’m not crying,” Aiba said, trying to hold back a sniffle. “I love you toooooooo…”
His last statement was loud enough to draw looks from neighbouring customers. A bartend immediately went to their side.
“Uh, I’m sorry, I have nothing against gay people myself, but I’m afraid that the two of you are disturbing our other customers and I have to ask you to leave…”
Aiba flushed. “We’re not gay,” he blurted out. “I mean, I am, but we’re not gay for each other, you know. I mean, he’s not. Well, maybe I’m not either, since I also like girls, but I have a boyfriend… who isn’t him…”
“Sorry for troubling you,” Nino said loudly, over Aiba’s rambles. “I’m taking this idiot back home now.”
“But you’re the one who started it,” Aiba wailed in complaint, as Nino dragged him out of the bar.
})i({
“Aiba-chan, I think you had too much to drink.”
The two of them sat at the pavement outside a 7-Eleven, nursing hot coffee in their hands. Much too late, Nino remembered that they should have taken along someone who could be their designated driver. Oh well, he thought, taking a sip of his coffee. The damage is done. He’d have to wait until he was sure he was completely sober enough to drive back. He doubted Aiba would be, not anytime soon.
“There’s no such thing as ‘too much to drink,’” Aiba protested. But he was calmer than he had been earlier. “Seriously, though,” he said. “I know he loves me, and that he chose me - so why does it bother me that he also loved Jun?”
“Because he had something with Jun that he couldn’t have with you,” Nino replied.
“Ouch.”
“You asked.” Letting his head fall on Aiba’s shoulder, he continued, “what you should realize is that this isn’t a competition. It isn’t about which of you he loves more, or loves better. It’s just… different. It’s like how Sho-chan’s always going to be your best friend, and yet you say that I’m your best friend too.”
“Different,” Aiba mused. “Like you with Oh-chan, too. You’re really jealous that Jun has all of his attention now, aren’t you?”
Aiba never misses anything when it came to his friends. Nino had forgotten that, in all those times he’d spent worrying over if Aiba would ever be okay again. This time, he thought, maybe it was all right for him to need Aiba, instead of the other way around.
“There’s that,” he agreed. “And there’s also something else that just hit me recently. It completely took my by surprise, this realization.” He straightened up, and waited until Aiba looked back at him. “I’m going to be a father. I barely even remember my own father, and I don’t know anything about being one, and yet… I’m actually going to be a father.”
Aiba laughed. Nino glared, as his best friend choked out, “you’re only realizing this now?”
“It’s not funny,” Nino insisted. Then, wonderingly, “I don’t even know how this happened.”
“Sorry, sorry. I know, it’s not funny. But, you know, this is why those sex education classes come in handy. Have no one told you about the birds and the bees?”
Nino hit Aiba again, but this time, he was laughing, too. They soon got caught up with their laughter, and started to tell each other funny stories to make them laugh even more, until Nino was sure that Aiba had forgotten the gravity of his question in the first place.
It was only hours later, when they were getting into Asami’s car, which Nino borrowed while she’s away, that Aiba said, “I think you’re going to be a great father, Nino-chan. And you won’t be alone. Asami would be there with you all the way - she’s awesome like that. And your baby will have a bunch of uncles who will love and spoil them like crazy.” He looked wistful. “You’ll have a family.”
Nino’s eyes met Aiba’s, as he about growing up without a father, but being treated like a son by Aiba’s late father. Getting into so much trouble with Aiba and Sho and Yuu-chan, the brothers he always wished he had. Going to Sho’s after school, because his mother would be at work and his house was empty. Sneaking in through Ohno’s window at night, for no reason other than wanting the comfort of his friend’s presence.
He told Aiba, “so will you. Because all of you are family, too.”
~ to be continued ~
Chapter Eleven | Chapter Thirteen
Marineko's Notes:
Thanks Salwa who talks through my fics with me XD
Because I don't think I could write them this quickly without that.
(The Aimiya and Nagase's brief mention was for you!)