I feel... too much

[k1ttycat]

Where to begin. I suppose with my sister-in-law. Glenn's sister had not been doing so well with her pregnancy, being diagnosed with gestational diabetes and then preeclampsia. My mother and father in law were in Australia on vacation when she was brought into the hospital and was getting steadily worse. Her blood pressure had sky-rocketed and she

Comments

[rosinavs]

Multiple of my friends have had the same reaction: calm but worried until they hear from everyone, then they break down. You are totally normal. And I will be happy to give you a big giant hug the next time I see you. (But then, I'm always happy to give people big giant hugs.)

I am still waiting until I get to work tomorrow and see that everyone is there, that no one went the two blocks to watch the marathon for a little while at just the wrong time. I may break down once I realize everyone on my team is okay.

[k1ttycat]

I hope that everyone on your team is alright. I will give and take those hugs as soon as possible!

[rosinavs]

Everyone on my team appears to be back in the office, but there is one person I haven't seen yet. However, one person in my department was the track coach of the little boy who died. I don't really know her though.

I ended up getting scared and emotional when getting on the subway to go to work. Luckily the way we commuted today, Greg was getting on with me and was happy to give me a big huge hug while waiting on the platform. Riding on the T I had to make myself stop looking at people's newspapers.

Some colleagues and I went for a walk at lunch to see the barricades on Newbury street. We could see what was probably a forensic team walking down one of the side streets in a row, each one just a few feet apart from the next person, stopping when they investigated something on the street.

[shogunhb]

I can't believe that your mom can tell you that you're not emotional enough AND that you're too emotional. All this really illustrates is that you're NOT your mother. You don't have to justify your feelings (though for what it's worth, your reactions seem completely normal).

**hugs**

[k1ttycat]

This really puts things into perspective. You're right. The fact that my mom has called me cold and unfeeling in the past and now is viewing me as overly emotional is telling.

[shadowravyn]

She kept questioning why I was so upset when A. I don't actually LIVE in Boston (doesn't matter that I am in and around there so often I feel like I do sometimes) and B. None of my friends were actually hurt. I just... I couldn't even explain it to her. I just know how I feel and I don't feel like my emotions are wrong in any way, but she had me doubting myself. I was so worried I was being over-dramatic and overly emotional that I hesitated to send a text to someone I care about, and when I did was even apologetic for seeming that way.

THIS. THIS. SO MUCH THIS. This is exactly what I've been struggling through since Monday, except that I've been doing it to myself. Trying to figure out if I'm just being a drama queen and questioning my own feelings and motivations. Gah! I'm upset, I'm depressed, and I keep telling myself I have no reason to be, because of reasons A & B.

Why does a tiny version of your mom live inside my head?

[k1ttycat]

I love you and if I could I would exorcise tiny Mom from both of our heads.

[laura47]

you have every reason to be upset. We all do. *all* people have a right to be upset about this, it was and is horrible. And if we're talking geographically, why would this stop at the borders of boston proper? I'm in Somerville but I feel like it was *right there*, and as they keep saying on the news, this is a huge event for the whole state, everyone had a friend or a friend of a friend there. They said last night "if everyone in the world is connected by 6 degrees of separation, Boston only has one"

[khyros]

You were helpful when I was wrestling with guilt over my own feelings that my grief was undeserved, unworthy, that I didn't have enough at stake to be so moved.

You can't and should not feel guilty for caring intensely about the people you love

[k1ttycat]

::hugs:: thank you, love.

[ocelotspots]

You aren't a drama queen! You are a wonderful and caring person and I've been missing you all week. I was glad you and Cadence were safe and far away from all this craziness. I love you and your hugs, and I can't wait to see you this weekend.

<3