Hookups and Emoticons [43]
Title: Hookups and Emoticons
Author: k_chan91
Disclaimer: Last Christmas I wished I could own Yunho...but I guess I was a naughty girl...T.T
Pairings: Yoosu (friends...?) Yunjae // Jaemin(one-sided), KiMin (Suju Kibum), HyukSu
Length: [43/50]
Genre: crack, romance, drama
Rating: PG/PG-13
Warnings: Some language, some mentions of smex, a tiny lil bit of angst, Chat world!
Summary:
Junsu: 8D
Yoochun: >.>
Yunho: <3 JJ 4evah
Jaejoong: Omg~
Changmin: I pwnz
Making and breaking relationships has never been this instant~
Previous Chapters
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yay banner! 8D Thanks jaetaime for making this lovely masterpiece ♥
Chapter 43: Chocolate Milk and Diamonds
December 19, Friday, 3:42PM
***Jaesicle has signed in
***Chunderful has signed in
Chunderful: Hey, Jae.
***SUnny signed in
SUnny: Hey, Jaejoong.
Chunderful: WTF????
***Jaesicle has signed out
SUnny: ...........That douche bag.
Chunderful: What the fuck are you doing here?
SUnny: Relax, dick, he tricked us both into logging in.
Chunderful: Well, I'm logging out. I've had enough of looking at sluts today.
SUnny: Not my fault you're everywhere I turn, asshole. Don't stalk me, baby, just tell me if you want me to do you a favor. You know I'd be willing to go down on you if you asked.
Chunderful: Hell yeah, you would. You'd do it for the rest of Seoul, too.
SUnny: Gladly. Cuz I'm damn good at it.
Chunderful: I'm sorry, but I don't want a cheap whore like you. I might catch something.
SUnny: I might be a nasty skank as you so eloquently hissed to me in class yesterday, but at least I'm a clean nasty skank. Classy sluts get checked up frequently.
Chunderful: ...You do...?
SUnny: Of course.
Chunderful: ...Like, you go to the clinic and everything?
SUnny: How else do you think I'm supposed to get 'checked up,' genius?
Chunderful: ...
Chunderful: I think I've said this before, but you make me hate myself so much
SUnny: Funny, cuz not long ago, it was me you hated...
Chunderful: ...
Chunderful: I didn't mean that.
SUnny: Whatever, bastard.
Chunderful: Shit! If you walk away from this chat still thinking I honestly hate you, I think I'll do something insane.
SUnny: ...
Chunderful: I've known you all my life. And every time you screw up, (And you screw up a lot, might I add) I forgive you. Dammit, I 1,000% totally and completely forgive you.
Chunderful: Even that time you got too excited and puked up chocolate milk in my lap. And OMFG, my six-year-old mind wanted to MURDER you then.
SUnny: So what? You don't hate me anymore? Just like that?
Chunderful: That's how it's always been. You were right. I am stupid.
SUnny: I still hate you.
Chunderful: You never said you hated me.
SUnny: ...
SUnny: Well, I do...
Chunderful: Don't do this. Shit, Su, I was so fucking mad at you the last time we spoke, my vision blurred. I wasn't thinking straight.
SUnny: Realizing you're friends with a nasty skank tends to have that effect.
Chunderful: Shut up, Junsu. I'm tired of fighting with you.
SUnny: I thought I'd chased you off...
Chunderful: If I really wanted you out of my life, I wouldn't have glared at you every chance I got. I wouldn't have even bothered to open my mouth and toss insults at you in the middle of class while the rest of the class stared at us. Instead, I would've just ignored your sorry ass.
SUnny: Well, damn, I feel the love now.
Chunderful: Junsu...
SUnny: ...
SUnny: I made sure we had a clean break last time we spoke. And if I recall correctly, it ended in you saying you hated me. You can't just take that shit back.
Chunderful: Well, I am.
SUnny: You can't.
Chunderful: Why the hell are you practically begging me to hate you?
SUnny: ...
SUnny: Chun...get away from me...please
Chunderful: Why?
SUnny: I told you already...
Chunderful: What? That crap about sin being contagious?? What, do you think the guys you fucked are gonna rub off on me? Su, if that ever happened, I would be incredibly freaked out, but if they stayed away from my man parts, I think I'd be okay with the awkward rubbing as long as it ends quickly.
SUnny: It's not funny.
Chunderful: No, you know what's not funny? You. You're not funny anymore. What happened to the Junsu who drove me up the wall with the biggest smile on his face? I know you're pissed at me or the world or something right now, but you haven't even smiled around Jaejoong or Yunho. They're pretty upset.
SUnny: I'm not in the mood...
Chunderful: What will get you in the mood?
SUnny: A good fuck from the tennis team. They like to eat fruits off the curve of my ass.
Chunderful: I know what you're doing, so cut it out. I let you piss me off last time, but not today. I can't promise you won't drive me a little nuts, though.
Chunderful: Plus, Jae obviously wanted us to talk...and if he finds out we didn't...we'll both suffer...
SUnny: ...So all the effort I put into driving you away means nothing now?
Chunderful: Pretty much.
SUnny: Even after four straight days of going at each other's throats, none of it matters anymore?
Chunderful: I don't even want to tell you how much sleep I've lost in these past few days. I'm expending too much energy on not passing out the keyboard right now to bother with arguing with you anymore.
SUnny: And I don't have the energy to rile you up again. It was hard enough the first time...
Chunderful: Then don't. Please don't.
SUnny: ...So what do you want me to do?
Chunderful: I want you to tell me what's really bothering you. Whether or not you think I can help. Just tell me.
SUnny: ...
Chunderful: Take your time, Su.
SUnny: .......
SUnny: I'm weak.
Chunderful: ...
SUnny: You deserve so much better than me.
Chunderful: That's a load of shit.
SUnny: How articulate...
Chunderful: Fine then. You want me to be more professional like a shrink or something? I can do that.
Chunderful: So, how does that make you feel, Mr. Kim Junsu?
SUnny: How does what make me feel?
Chunderful: Me being so articulate. Is it overwhelming or perhaps just delightfully exhilarating?
SUnny: Yoochun...
Chunderful: ...Sorry. Go on.
SUnny: Why can't I handle my own life? Why am I so weak...?
Chunderful: Dr. Chunderful thinks it's because you put on a smiling mask and pretend everything's okay while you're miserable inside. Dr. Chunderful also thinks you should depend on your friends a bit more.
SUnny: Everyone close to me lets me down.
Chunderful: ...
Chunderful: Dr. Chunderful wants to know if you think your bestestestie would let you down...
SUnny: ...
SUnny: My bestestestie ran away when he realized the truth about me...
Chunderful: ...
Chunderful: Shit...
Chunderful: Dr. Chunderful thinks you need to kick your bestestestie in the ass for being such a dickhead.
Chunderful: But what if your bestestestie realized you meant the world to him no matter what and came back for you?
SUnny: .....
SUnny: It just confirms that my bestestestie is too good for me.
Chunderful: Su...don't put me on a pedestal. I'm afraid of heights.
SUnny: If I can't even be good enough for you then what I am worth to everyone else?
Chunderful: Dr. Chunderful says you shouldn't worry about everyone else, Su. Be good enough for yourself.
Chunderful: Umm...can I ask a question....?
SUnny: If that question is 'How does that make you feel' then no.
Chunderful: No, no.... Why do you want to be good enough...for me?
SUnny: ...
SUnny: You're...
SUnny: I...
SUnny: I put you on a pedestal! Duh! Do I have to google what that means for you?!?
Chunderful: WHY?!?
SUnny: What do you mean, why???
Chunderful: WHY am I on a pedestal in your mind?!?! I told you I'm afraid of heights!
SUnny: You're such an idiot!
Chunderful: Then why put the idiot on a pedestal!!! @.@
SUnny: ...
SUnny: Your parents don't hate you. And you can make friends without needing lube...
Chunderful: Oh, Su...
SUnny: What?
Chunderful: You're so dumb.
SUnny: HEY!
Chunderful: You're the friendliest guy I know. If you just trusted yourself, you'd realize that you've already made friends without sex.
SUnny: Tch. Like who?
Chunderful: Like me.
SUnny: ...
Chunderful: And Yunho and Jaejoong. And I know for a fact there are a lot more virgins at our school. I'm not the only one! And I know plenty of people who wouldn't agree to casual sex no matter who was asking. And you're friends with just about everyone, including all those people! I'm sure you haven't done it with the glee club or Jay and the people you like to joke with who sit at the lunch table next to ours or at least some of the soccer team.
SUnny: ...
SUnny: I've had sex with just about all of the soccer team...
Chunderful: ...Oh...
SUnny: But not with the soccer club.
Chunderful: Oh. Well that's good. See?
SUnny: ...
Chunderful: And about your parents...
SUnny: Shut up.
Chunderful: No, you shut up and listen.
SUnny: You're the worst shrink ever. You can't tell your client to shut up.
Chunderful: I can when my client is my bestestest friend.
Chunderful: You're parents are NOT as bad as you think
SUnny: Right...
Chunderful: No, really! They're a bit scatterbrained and clueless and spacey and I swear your mom forgets my name at least twice a year, but they're good parents.
SUnny: My mom forgets your name??
Chunderful: Every now and then she calls me Carl....................
SUnny: .........................
Chunderful: I told you your parents are scatterbrained! But that doesn't mean they're bad parents.
SUnny: So where were they on my birthday?
Chunderful: ...I still don't know, but they had Changmin with them, so there must have been something wrong. They're back home now, right? Haven't you asked them?
SUnny: I'm sure it was some kind of smart people thing where Changmin received an award and my parents wanted to watch him accept it. Why is watching smart people so fun to them? Soccer is much better....
Chunderful: Maybe you should talk to them
SUnny: Like they would listen.
Chunderful: They would and you know it. You've just never tried.
SUnny: ...
SUnny: What would I even say?
Chunderful: How about, 'I feel a little abandoned' or 'I missed you guys on my birthday. Where's my present?' or 'Wanna watch one of my soccer games? I'm awesome.'
Chunderful: And remember all the times I told you your dad talks to me about your soccer games?
SUnny: ...
Chunderful: I wasn't lying but you thought was in order to make you feel better.
SUnny: ...
Chunderful: I wasn't lying, Su. Your parents want to make it to your games but they're always scheduled during work.
SUnny: Then why don't they ever tell me? Why do they think it's perfectly damn fine to disappoint me?
Chunderful: Maybe they don't know how important it is to you because you don't tell them about it.
SUnny: ...
Chunderful: They're parents. Not magical wizards. They can't automatically know everything that's going on with you.
SUnny: Then why the fuck do they give such a giant shit about Changmin? What did he do to be a perfect angel in their eyes?
Chunderful: That's something you should talk to them about.
SUnny: ...
SUnny: Changmin doesn't have to say anything. He just exists and all their attention goes to him...
Chunderful: You don't know that for sure
SUnny: All he has to do is read books and shit and suddenly he's better than me.
Chunderful: Su...
SUnny: All I've got to be good at is sex.
Chunderful: Don't think like that.
SUnny: It's not like I can just wave my hands at my parents and expect praise for a skill like that.
Chunderful: You've got soccer, Su. Don't beat yourself up so much.
SUnny: If it's soccer versus smarts, which one do you think my parents would choose?
Chunderful: I don't know! Like I said, you should talk to them.
SUnny: No matter what I do, I can't be good enough. If I can't even be good enough for you, why would my parents want me?
Chunderful: Omg, why do you want to be good enough for me!? I'm not that great!
SUnny: I like everything about you! E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. Anyone who knows you would say the same. You can't tell me there isn't something about me you hate!
Chunderful: ...
SUnny: See?!
Chunderful: Just stop the mindless sex! That's all I want. It's not good for you!
SUnny: It's too late! I can't take back my virginity. I can't take back what I did to Donghae last night.
Chunderful: Last night??????
SUnny: Donghae is Hyukjae's other back-up boyfriend. I'm getting back at him for being a bigger douche than usual.
Chunderful: Su, you're only perpetuating the problem! Stop doing things like this.
SUnny: I can't! I'm too damn good at it, Chun! Sex is my weapon. If I use this, it doesn't matter that I'm not good enough for you, it doesn't matter that I'll never be smart enough for my parents. I'm finally good at something!
Chunderful: You're good at soccer! You could get a scholarship with your skills.
SUnny: And what do I get for being good at soccer? An envelope with money in it? The feeling of knowing it's not my parents cheering for me in the stands? And I can't pretend all those strangers in the stands give a crap about me because if our team loses, they're more likely to throw nachos at me.
Chunderful: Who gives a shit about them? And I already told you why your parents can't come to your games.
SUnny: Then why don't they take a damn day off?! They'd do it for Changmin. They'd wipe his ass if he asked.
Chunderful: Junsu!
SUnny: I'm good at this, Yoochun! I can do sex better than you, Changmin, Jaejoong, Yunho, porn stars or anyone else ever could. And I know this because I've got guys literally lining up to have a taste of me. I've found something that makes me worth a shit!
Chunderful: Don't you think careless sex is a little extreme???
SUnny: I'm tired of being "less than." Less than Changmin. Less than you. Less than the world. If sex gives the illusion that I'm just as important as everyone else, then so be it.
Chunderful: Omg...
SUnny: What?
Chunderful: I think........
SUnny: What?!
Chunderful: I've kinda read about this.....
SUnny: What the hell are you talking about???
Chunderful: I think..........I think you have an inferiority complex or something.
SUnny: What...?
Chunderful: I don't know for sure since I'm not a real shrink.
SUnny: What are you getting at....?
Chunderful: But my aunt is a psychologist. Maybe you should talk to her...
SUnny: ...........
SUnny: Oh shit, I'm crazy.
Chunderful: Junsu, no...
SUnny: Good fuck almighty, I'm a nut case...
Chunderful: No, Su! That's not what I meant!
SUnny: No wonder Hyukjae doesn't want me anymore. He knew. He knew, he knew. Somehow he knew there was something wrong with me.
Chunderful: Fuck Hyukjae! He just found a new ass to play with. I told you from the beginning he wasn't worth it.
SUnny: This is why my parents don't want me...
Chunderful: Your parents don't think you're crazy, Su! Please, stop it...stop it, stop it...
SUnny: Changmin's always so confident but I'm the one with the inferiority complex. Ha. Why would they want to have anything to do with a child like me? I'm a freak.
Chunderful: Su, I just wanted to help! Don't do this...
SUnny: Shit, I'm so weak, I've become more than just a mess. I'm a psychological catastrophe.
Chunderful: No, you're not!
SUnny: No one wants me. No one will ever want me.
Chunderful: That's not true!
SUnny: Only sex can convince people to have anything to do with me. And I can't even use that on the people that matter to me. I'm fucked. So fucking fucked...
Chunderful: No, you're not, Su. Listen to me.
SUnny: Don't kid yourself thinking you can deal with a crazy slut for long. You'll get tired of me or end up drowning in my sex life. It'll either make you sick to be around a slut like me or...you'll get curious.... And I know I won't say no.... Don't make me do that to you, Chun...
Chunderful: That won't happen...I promise.
SUnny: I'm so weak.
Chunderful: I want to help make you strong!
SUnny: I'm worthless.
Chunderful: You're worth the world to me...
SUnny: I'm crazy.
Chunderful: You're perfect.
SUnny: I'm scared...
Chunderful: I'll protect you. Just listen to me, pleeaase.
SUnny: What could you possibly have to say to a mental case like me?? How many times do I have to tell you to go away!??
Chunderful: I will never leave you...
SUnny: Shit, Chun! You can't associate with me! I don't know what I'd do if you ended up a fraction of what I am now. It's painfully clear now--I'm insane.
Chunderful: ...Because...
SUnny: Just get the fuck away!
Chunderful: I love you.
SUnny: Chun...I love you, too. I love you enough to want the best for you...
Chunderful: Not that kind of love...
SUnny: What the hell are you talking about??
Chunderful: ...
Chunderful: I've always loved you, Junsu.
SUnny: ...I don't understand...
Chunderful: Since before I knew what love was.
SUnny: Yoochun...?
Chunderful: When I thought love was when you gave all your chocolate milk and half your lunch to someone else even though you're really hungry and chocolate milk is your favorite.
SUnny: Chun, stop...
Chunderful: I've loved you for so long, I can't remember a time when I didn't love you.
SUnny: You're scaring me
Chunderful: I still love you more than you'll ever understand. Dammit, Junsu, I want to hold you so bad, it makes me sick.
SUnny: You don't mean that...
Chunderful: And when you call yourself worthless, it pisses me off, because how dare someone call a rock just a lump of coal, when the stone I covet is clearly a diamond.
SUnny: Stop it...
Chunderful: The way you laugh, the way you walk, the way you babble about complete nonsense--all of it gives me butterflies
SUnny: It's not true, Yoochun! You're confused.
Chunderful: I am confused. How is it possible to love someone so hard, I'm dizzy when they're around and breathless when they're away? It's a damn mindfuck.
SUnny: You can't love me. You can't... We're friends. We were friends...
Chunderful: Were friends? Fine. I don't want to be friends anymore, either.
Chunderful: I want to be more than friends. Let's be lovers, Junsu.
SUnny: Omg...
Chunderful: When I sit down at my piano and compose songs about love, they're all about you, Junsu.
Chunderful: And when I wake up from a good dream I can't remember, I hope to God it was about you.
SUnny: We're both crazy...
Chunderful: Hell yes, I'm crazy. I'm in love with you, Junsu, and I don't care what anyone else has to say about it. Including you.
Chunderful: You mean so damn much to me.....I can't stand to see you hurt like this.
SUnny: .....Oh, I get it. You're trying to be a good friend. Well, freaking me out isn't going to solve anything. If you don't stop being so ridiculous right now, I swear I'll log out and I'll never speak to you again, Yoochun...
Chunderful: I want to spend the rest of my life by your side. Until you, or I, or both of us die, I want to be the one you wake up to every morning.
Chunderful: I know that might be moving too fast but my heart beats even faster when I think about you.
Chunderful: I bet you can guess why I've never liked any of your past "boyfriends." Half of them were assholes, the other half were just plain stupid and all of them had something I've wanted for such a long, long time.
Chunderful: I've spent my whole life being jealous. Jealous of whoever you're smiling at when it's not me. But it's only because I love you so damn much.
Chunderful: I love you, Junsu. I have loved you, I will you and I will always love you.
Chunderful: I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you so much.
SUnny: Bye, Yoochun.
***SUnny has signed out
Chunderful: ...
Chunderful: Omg....What have I done..........?
Chunderful: What is wrong with me? Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit...
***Chunderful has signed out
Chapter 44
-----------------
I apologize to your Yoosu!hearts. D'x
But here's an interesting fact...
A while ago, I spent some time analyzing Junsu's character in this fic. Something kind of struck me and I did some brief research on wikipedia and discovered something fascinating. Yep, yep, I ended up giving Su practically a book definition of inferiority complex without even realizing it. xD T_T All you psychology buffs out there correct me if I'm wrong, but poor Susu's pretty messed up, no? T__T Ahh, what to do with this child? Yoosu!smex should do the trick *cough*
On a lighter note, I promise as soon as I finish this fic, I will work on those requests I received before I even think about starting another fic. ^.^ Please bear with me~
Also...dbkrackweens has a new affiliate! Say hi to inksandblots~ Message me if you want to affiliate with me, too~
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Author: k_chan91
Disclaimer: Last Christmas I wished I could own Yunho...but I guess I was a naughty girl...T.T
Pairings: Yoosu (friends...?) Yunjae // Jaemin(one-sided), KiMin (Suju Kibum), HyukSu
Length: [43/50]
Genre: crack, romance, drama
Rating: PG/PG-13
Warnings: Some language, some mentions of smex, a tiny lil bit of angst, Chat world!
Summary:
Junsu: 8D
Yoochun: >.>
Yunho: <3 JJ 4evah
Jaejoong: Omg~
Changmin: I pwnz
Making and breaking relationships has never been this instant~
Previous Chapters
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yay banner! 8D Thanks jaetaime for making this lovely masterpiece ♥
Chapter 43: Chocolate Milk and Diamonds
December 19, Friday, 3:42PM
***Jaesicle has signed in
***Chunderful has signed in
Chunderful: Hey, Jae.
***SUnny signed in
SUnny: Hey, Jaejoong.
Chunderful: WTF????
***Jaesicle has signed out
SUnny: ...........That douche bag.
Chunderful: What the fuck are you doing here?
SUnny: Relax, dick, he tricked us both into logging in.
Chunderful: Well, I'm logging out. I've had enough of looking at sluts today.
SUnny: Not my fault you're everywhere I turn, asshole. Don't stalk me, baby, just tell me if you want me to do you a favor. You know I'd be willing to go down on you if you asked.
Chunderful: Hell yeah, you would. You'd do it for the rest of Seoul, too.
SUnny: Gladly. Cuz I'm damn good at it.
Chunderful: I'm sorry, but I don't want a cheap whore like you. I might catch something.
SUnny: I might be a nasty skank as you so eloquently hissed to me in class yesterday, but at least I'm a clean nasty skank. Classy sluts get checked up frequently.
Chunderful: ...You do...?
SUnny: Of course.
Chunderful: ...Like, you go to the clinic and everything?
SUnny: How else do you think I'm supposed to get 'checked up,' genius?
Chunderful: ...
Chunderful: I think I've said this before, but you make me hate myself so much
SUnny: Funny, cuz not long ago, it was me you hated...
Chunderful: ...
Chunderful: I didn't mean that.
SUnny: Whatever, bastard.
Chunderful: Shit! If you walk away from this chat still thinking I honestly hate you, I think I'll do something insane.
SUnny: ...
Chunderful: I've known you all my life. And every time you screw up, (And you screw up a lot, might I add) I forgive you. Dammit, I 1,000% totally and completely forgive you.
Chunderful: Even that time you got too excited and puked up chocolate milk in my lap. And OMFG, my six-year-old mind wanted to MURDER you then.
SUnny: So what? You don't hate me anymore? Just like that?
Chunderful: That's how it's always been. You were right. I am stupid.
SUnny: I still hate you.
Chunderful: You never said you hated me.
SUnny: ...
SUnny: Well, I do...
Chunderful: Don't do this. Shit, Su, I was so fucking mad at you the last time we spoke, my vision blurred. I wasn't thinking straight.
SUnny: Realizing you're friends with a nasty skank tends to have that effect.
Chunderful: Shut up, Junsu. I'm tired of fighting with you.
SUnny: I thought I'd chased you off...
Chunderful: If I really wanted you out of my life, I wouldn't have glared at you every chance I got. I wouldn't have even bothered to open my mouth and toss insults at you in the middle of class while the rest of the class stared at us. Instead, I would've just ignored your sorry ass.
SUnny: Well, damn, I feel the love now.
Chunderful: Junsu...
SUnny: ...
SUnny: I made sure we had a clean break last time we spoke. And if I recall correctly, it ended in you saying you hated me. You can't just take that shit back.
Chunderful: Well, I am.
SUnny: You can't.
Chunderful: Why the hell are you practically begging me to hate you?
SUnny: ...
SUnny: Chun...get away from me...please
Chunderful: Why?
SUnny: I told you already...
Chunderful: What? That crap about sin being contagious?? What, do you think the guys you fucked are gonna rub off on me? Su, if that ever happened, I would be incredibly freaked out, but if they stayed away from my man parts, I think I'd be okay with the awkward rubbing as long as it ends quickly.
SUnny: It's not funny.
Chunderful: No, you know what's not funny? You. You're not funny anymore. What happened to the Junsu who drove me up the wall with the biggest smile on his face? I know you're pissed at me or the world or something right now, but you haven't even smiled around Jaejoong or Yunho. They're pretty upset.
SUnny: I'm not in the mood...
Chunderful: What will get you in the mood?
SUnny: A good fuck from the tennis team. They like to eat fruits off the curve of my ass.
Chunderful: I know what you're doing, so cut it out. I let you piss me off last time, but not today. I can't promise you won't drive me a little nuts, though.
Chunderful: Plus, Jae obviously wanted us to talk...and if he finds out we didn't...we'll both suffer...
SUnny: ...So all the effort I put into driving you away means nothing now?
Chunderful: Pretty much.
SUnny: Even after four straight days of going at each other's throats, none of it matters anymore?
Chunderful: I don't even want to tell you how much sleep I've lost in these past few days. I'm expending too much energy on not passing out the keyboard right now to bother with arguing with you anymore.
SUnny: And I don't have the energy to rile you up again. It was hard enough the first time...
Chunderful: Then don't. Please don't.
SUnny: ...So what do you want me to do?
Chunderful: I want you to tell me what's really bothering you. Whether or not you think I can help. Just tell me.
SUnny: ...
Chunderful: Take your time, Su.
SUnny: .......
SUnny: I'm weak.
Chunderful: ...
SUnny: You deserve so much better than me.
Chunderful: That's a load of shit.
SUnny: How articulate...
Chunderful: Fine then. You want me to be more professional like a shrink or something? I can do that.
Chunderful: So, how does that make you feel, Mr. Kim Junsu?
SUnny: How does what make me feel?
Chunderful: Me being so articulate. Is it overwhelming or perhaps just delightfully exhilarating?
SUnny: Yoochun...
Chunderful: ...Sorry. Go on.
SUnny: Why can't I handle my own life? Why am I so weak...?
Chunderful: Dr. Chunderful thinks it's because you put on a smiling mask and pretend everything's okay while you're miserable inside. Dr. Chunderful also thinks you should depend on your friends a bit more.
SUnny: Everyone close to me lets me down.
Chunderful: ...
Chunderful: Dr. Chunderful wants to know if you think your bestestestie would let you down...
SUnny: ...
SUnny: My bestestestie ran away when he realized the truth about me...
Chunderful: ...
Chunderful: Shit...
Chunderful: Dr. Chunderful thinks you need to kick your bestestestie in the ass for being such a dickhead.
Chunderful: But what if your bestestestie realized you meant the world to him no matter what and came back for you?
SUnny: .....
SUnny: It just confirms that my bestestestie is too good for me.
Chunderful: Su...don't put me on a pedestal. I'm afraid of heights.
SUnny: If I can't even be good enough for you then what I am worth to everyone else?
Chunderful: Dr. Chunderful says you shouldn't worry about everyone else, Su. Be good enough for yourself.
Chunderful: Umm...can I ask a question....?
SUnny: If that question is 'How does that make you feel' then no.
Chunderful: No, no.... Why do you want to be good enough...for me?
SUnny: ...
SUnny: You're...
SUnny: I...
SUnny: I put you on a pedestal! Duh! Do I have to google what that means for you?!?
Chunderful: WHY?!?
SUnny: What do you mean, why???
Chunderful: WHY am I on a pedestal in your mind?!?! I told you I'm afraid of heights!
SUnny: You're such an idiot!
Chunderful: Then why put the idiot on a pedestal!!! @.@
SUnny: ...
SUnny: Your parents don't hate you. And you can make friends without needing lube...
Chunderful: Oh, Su...
SUnny: What?
Chunderful: You're so dumb.
SUnny: HEY!
Chunderful: You're the friendliest guy I know. If you just trusted yourself, you'd realize that you've already made friends without sex.
SUnny: Tch. Like who?
Chunderful: Like me.
SUnny: ...
Chunderful: And Yunho and Jaejoong. And I know for a fact there are a lot more virgins at our school. I'm not the only one! And I know plenty of people who wouldn't agree to casual sex no matter who was asking. And you're friends with just about everyone, including all those people! I'm sure you haven't done it with the glee club or Jay and the people you like to joke with who sit at the lunch table next to ours or at least some of the soccer team.
SUnny: ...
SUnny: I've had sex with just about all of the soccer team...
Chunderful: ...Oh...
SUnny: But not with the soccer club.
Chunderful: Oh. Well that's good. See?
SUnny: ...
Chunderful: And about your parents...
SUnny: Shut up.
Chunderful: No, you shut up and listen.
SUnny: You're the worst shrink ever. You can't tell your client to shut up.
Chunderful: I can when my client is my bestestest friend.
Chunderful: You're parents are NOT as bad as you think
SUnny: Right...
Chunderful: No, really! They're a bit scatterbrained and clueless and spacey and I swear your mom forgets my name at least twice a year, but they're good parents.
SUnny: My mom forgets your name??
Chunderful: Every now and then she calls me Carl....................
SUnny: .........................
Chunderful: I told you your parents are scatterbrained! But that doesn't mean they're bad parents.
SUnny: So where were they on my birthday?
Chunderful: ...I still don't know, but they had Changmin with them, so there must have been something wrong. They're back home now, right? Haven't you asked them?
SUnny: I'm sure it was some kind of smart people thing where Changmin received an award and my parents wanted to watch him accept it. Why is watching smart people so fun to them? Soccer is much better....
Chunderful: Maybe you should talk to them
SUnny: Like they would listen.
Chunderful: They would and you know it. You've just never tried.
SUnny: ...
SUnny: What would I even say?
Chunderful: How about, 'I feel a little abandoned' or 'I missed you guys on my birthday. Where's my present?' or 'Wanna watch one of my soccer games? I'm awesome.'
Chunderful: And remember all the times I told you your dad talks to me about your soccer games?
SUnny: ...
Chunderful: I wasn't lying but you thought was in order to make you feel better.
SUnny: ...
Chunderful: I wasn't lying, Su. Your parents want to make it to your games but they're always scheduled during work.
SUnny: Then why don't they ever tell me? Why do they think it's perfectly damn fine to disappoint me?
Chunderful: Maybe they don't know how important it is to you because you don't tell them about it.
SUnny: ...
Chunderful: They're parents. Not magical wizards. They can't automatically know everything that's going on with you.
SUnny: Then why the fuck do they give such a giant shit about Changmin? What did he do to be a perfect angel in their eyes?
Chunderful: That's something you should talk to them about.
SUnny: ...
SUnny: Changmin doesn't have to say anything. He just exists and all their attention goes to him...
Chunderful: You don't know that for sure
SUnny: All he has to do is read books and shit and suddenly he's better than me.
Chunderful: Su...
SUnny: All I've got to be good at is sex.
Chunderful: Don't think like that.
SUnny: It's not like I can just wave my hands at my parents and expect praise for a skill like that.
Chunderful: You've got soccer, Su. Don't beat yourself up so much.
SUnny: If it's soccer versus smarts, which one do you think my parents would choose?
Chunderful: I don't know! Like I said, you should talk to them.
SUnny: No matter what I do, I can't be good enough. If I can't even be good enough for you, why would my parents want me?
Chunderful: Omg, why do you want to be good enough for me!? I'm not that great!
SUnny: I like everything about you! E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. Anyone who knows you would say the same. You can't tell me there isn't something about me you hate!
Chunderful: ...
SUnny: See?!
Chunderful: Just stop the mindless sex! That's all I want. It's not good for you!
SUnny: It's too late! I can't take back my virginity. I can't take back what I did to Donghae last night.
Chunderful: Last night??????
SUnny: Donghae is Hyukjae's other back-up boyfriend. I'm getting back at him for being a bigger douche than usual.
Chunderful: Su, you're only perpetuating the problem! Stop doing things like this.
SUnny: I can't! I'm too damn good at it, Chun! Sex is my weapon. If I use this, it doesn't matter that I'm not good enough for you, it doesn't matter that I'll never be smart enough for my parents. I'm finally good at something!
Chunderful: You're good at soccer! You could get a scholarship with your skills.
SUnny: And what do I get for being good at soccer? An envelope with money in it? The feeling of knowing it's not my parents cheering for me in the stands? And I can't pretend all those strangers in the stands give a crap about me because if our team loses, they're more likely to throw nachos at me.
Chunderful: Who gives a shit about them? And I already told you why your parents can't come to your games.
SUnny: Then why don't they take a damn day off?! They'd do it for Changmin. They'd wipe his ass if he asked.
Chunderful: Junsu!
SUnny: I'm good at this, Yoochun! I can do sex better than you, Changmin, Jaejoong, Yunho, porn stars or anyone else ever could. And I know this because I've got guys literally lining up to have a taste of me. I've found something that makes me worth a shit!
Chunderful: Don't you think careless sex is a little extreme???
SUnny: I'm tired of being "less than." Less than Changmin. Less than you. Less than the world. If sex gives the illusion that I'm just as important as everyone else, then so be it.
Chunderful: Omg...
SUnny: What?
Chunderful: I think........
SUnny: What?!
Chunderful: I've kinda read about this.....
SUnny: What the hell are you talking about???
Chunderful: I think..........I think you have an inferiority complex or something.
SUnny: What...?
Chunderful: I don't know for sure since I'm not a real shrink.
SUnny: What are you getting at....?
Chunderful: But my aunt is a psychologist. Maybe you should talk to her...
SUnny: ...........
SUnny: Oh shit, I'm crazy.
Chunderful: Junsu, no...
SUnny: Good fuck almighty, I'm a nut case...
Chunderful: No, Su! That's not what I meant!
SUnny: No wonder Hyukjae doesn't want me anymore. He knew. He knew, he knew. Somehow he knew there was something wrong with me.
Chunderful: Fuck Hyukjae! He just found a new ass to play with. I told you from the beginning he wasn't worth it.
SUnny: This is why my parents don't want me...
Chunderful: Your parents don't think you're crazy, Su! Please, stop it...stop it, stop it...
SUnny: Changmin's always so confident but I'm the one with the inferiority complex. Ha. Why would they want to have anything to do with a child like me? I'm a freak.
Chunderful: Su, I just wanted to help! Don't do this...
SUnny: Shit, I'm so weak, I've become more than just a mess. I'm a psychological catastrophe.
Chunderful: No, you're not!
SUnny: No one wants me. No one will ever want me.
Chunderful: That's not true!
SUnny: Only sex can convince people to have anything to do with me. And I can't even use that on the people that matter to me. I'm fucked. So fucking fucked...
Chunderful: No, you're not, Su. Listen to me.
SUnny: Don't kid yourself thinking you can deal with a crazy slut for long. You'll get tired of me or end up drowning in my sex life. It'll either make you sick to be around a slut like me or...you'll get curious.... And I know I won't say no.... Don't make me do that to you, Chun...
Chunderful: That won't happen...I promise.
SUnny: I'm so weak.
Chunderful: I want to help make you strong!
SUnny: I'm worthless.
Chunderful: You're worth the world to me...
SUnny: I'm crazy.
Chunderful: You're perfect.
SUnny: I'm scared...
Chunderful: I'll protect you. Just listen to me, pleeaase.
SUnny: What could you possibly have to say to a mental case like me?? How many times do I have to tell you to go away!??
Chunderful: I will never leave you...
SUnny: Shit, Chun! You can't associate with me! I don't know what I'd do if you ended up a fraction of what I am now. It's painfully clear now--I'm insane.
Chunderful: ...Because...
SUnny: Just get the fuck away!
Chunderful: I love you.
SUnny: Chun...I love you, too. I love you enough to want the best for you...
Chunderful: Not that kind of love...
SUnny: What the hell are you talking about??
Chunderful: ...
Chunderful: I've always loved you, Junsu.
SUnny: ...I don't understand...
Chunderful: Since before I knew what love was.
SUnny: Yoochun...?
Chunderful: When I thought love was when you gave all your chocolate milk and half your lunch to someone else even though you're really hungry and chocolate milk is your favorite.
SUnny: Chun, stop...
Chunderful: I've loved you for so long, I can't remember a time when I didn't love you.
SUnny: You're scaring me
Chunderful: I still love you more than you'll ever understand. Dammit, Junsu, I want to hold you so bad, it makes me sick.
SUnny: You don't mean that...
Chunderful: And when you call yourself worthless, it pisses me off, because how dare someone call a rock just a lump of coal, when the stone I covet is clearly a diamond.
SUnny: Stop it...
Chunderful: The way you laugh, the way you walk, the way you babble about complete nonsense--all of it gives me butterflies
SUnny: It's not true, Yoochun! You're confused.
Chunderful: I am confused. How is it possible to love someone so hard, I'm dizzy when they're around and breathless when they're away? It's a damn mindfuck.
SUnny: You can't love me. You can't... We're friends. We were friends...
Chunderful: Were friends? Fine. I don't want to be friends anymore, either.
Chunderful: I want to be more than friends. Let's be lovers, Junsu.
SUnny: Omg...
Chunderful: When I sit down at my piano and compose songs about love, they're all about you, Junsu.
Chunderful: And when I wake up from a good dream I can't remember, I hope to God it was about you.
SUnny: We're both crazy...
Chunderful: Hell yes, I'm crazy. I'm in love with you, Junsu, and I don't care what anyone else has to say about it. Including you.
Chunderful: You mean so damn much to me.....I can't stand to see you hurt like this.
SUnny: .....Oh, I get it. You're trying to be a good friend. Well, freaking me out isn't going to solve anything. If you don't stop being so ridiculous right now, I swear I'll log out and I'll never speak to you again, Yoochun...
Chunderful: I want to spend the rest of my life by your side. Until you, or I, or both of us die, I want to be the one you wake up to every morning.
Chunderful: I know that might be moving too fast but my heart beats even faster when I think about you.
Chunderful: I bet you can guess why I've never liked any of your past "boyfriends." Half of them were assholes, the other half were just plain stupid and all of them had something I've wanted for such a long, long time.
Chunderful: I've spent my whole life being jealous. Jealous of whoever you're smiling at when it's not me. But it's only because I love you so damn much.
Chunderful: I love you, Junsu. I have loved you, I will you and I will always love you.
Chunderful: I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you so much.
SUnny: Bye, Yoochun.
***SUnny has signed out
Chunderful: ...
Chunderful: Omg....What have I done..........?
Chunderful: What is wrong with me? Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit...
***Chunderful has signed out
Chapter 44
-----------------
I apologize to your Yoosu!hearts. D'x
But here's an interesting fact...
A while ago, I spent some time analyzing Junsu's character in this fic. Something kind of struck me and I did some brief research on wikipedia and discovered something fascinating. Yep, yep, I ended up giving Su practically a book definition of inferiority complex without even realizing it. xD T_T All you psychology buffs out there correct me if I'm wrong, but poor Susu's pretty messed up, no? T__T Ahh, what to do with this child? Yoosu!smex should do the trick *cough*
On a lighter note, I promise as soon as I finish this fic, I will work on those requests I received before I even think about starting another fic. ^.^ Please bear with me~
Also...dbkrackweens has a new affiliate! Say hi to inksandblots~ Message me if you want to affiliate with me, too~
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