Title: Hookups and Emoticons
Author: k_chan91
Disclaimer: Last Christmas I wished I could own Yunho...but I guess I was a naughty girl...T.T
Pairings: Yoosu (friends...?) Yunjae // Jaemin(one-sided), KiMin (Suju Kibum), HyukSu
Length: [45/50]
Genre: crack, romance, drama
Rating: PG/PG-13
Warnings: Some language, some mentions of smex, a tiny lil bit of angst, Chat world!
Summary:
Junsu: 8D
Yoochun: >.>
Yunho: <3 JJ 4evah
Jaejoong: Omg~
Changmin: I pwnz
Making and breaking relationships has never been this instant~
Previous Chapters ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yay banner! 8D Thanks
jaetaime for making this lovely masterpiece ♥
Chapter 44: Hypocrites and Plutonium Shoes
December 20, Saturday, 1:38PM
***Maximini has signed in
***Kibum has signed in
Maximini: Hey
Kibum: Hi...
Maximini: Um...how are you?
Kibum: ...
Maximini: I know I just left your house twenty minutes ago! I still want to know how you are...
Kibum: Fine.
Maximini: Um...
Kibum: ?
Maximini: Just...when will I stop feeling like this?
Kibum: Like what?
Maximini: Like....awkward...
Maximini: Not awkward! Cuz you're you! I could never feel awkward around you. But...just...
Maximini: It feels like a massive chemical experiment has gone so very, very wrong in my stomach...when I'm around you...
Kibum: Oh...
Maximini: Yeah...
Kibum: Me too.
Maximini: Oh...cool.
Kibum: I think it's good.
Maximini: Yeah...
Kibum: Kinda like love...probably...
Maximini: Yeah...
Maximini: Well, when you put it like that...I kinda hope this feeling never goes away.
Kibum: ...Me too.
Maximini: This will just take some getting used to.
Kibum: ...
Maximini: You're right! It'll be exactly like memorizing the periodic table!
Kibum: ...
Maximini: No, no, you're the epik genius~
Kibum: x]
Maximini: ...
Maximini: Thanks again, by the way. For convincing me to go back to school yesterday. There's so much work I have to catch up on! I think I'll go after Christmas break, too.
Kibum: ...I'm sorry.
Maximini: I'm thanking you. There's no need to be sorry.
Kibum: ...
Maximini: ...Yeah, I know. But those are just the trade-offs of going to school. I get an awesome education but then I also get assholes on my case.
Kibum: ......
Maximini: Of course you did the right thing! If you had let me stay at home for too long, I'd end up dropping out of school and then how would I get into Seoul University? I mean, if I've got to deal with a bunch of bored, cruel bullies for the rest of my high school life in order to get into my dream college, then it's all worth it! Academic fame, here I come~
Kibum: ...
Kibum: Thanks...
Maximini: For what?
Kibum: For letting me help you.
Maximini: ...
Maximini: Well, it's easier now that we're a couple...
Maximini: I mean, how could I let you not protect your boyfriend?? That'd make you a shitty person and I can't have that!
Kibum: !!!!
Maximini: No, it would not be the same if we were just friends! If I don't let a friend protect me, it's because I'm protecting him. But if I let a boyfriend protect me, then that's just the natural order of things~
Kibum: -.-
Maximini: Ha! My amazing logic prevails!
Maximini: ...
Maximini: Thanks for getting me out of there yesterday. You know...when they tried to corner me again...
Kibum: You're welcome.
Maximini: I at least want to let some of the bruises from last time heal before they come at me again. Haha...
Kibum: It'll get better. You have me.
Maximini: Actually...it's getting worse.
Kibum: But you have me.
Maximini: But the bullies are multiplying. I never used to have problems with the upperclassmen. They shouldn't even know who I am! But now even Junsu's boyfriend Hyukjae stole my notebook right out of my hand first thing in the morning. He usually doesn't even look at me when he's visiting my brother at home but now he's sneering at me along with everyone else. I think word has been getting around that I'm a walking punching bag or something...
Kibum: ?!?
Maximini: No, I don't want you to kill them! That'd be a waste of labor for when I'm ruler of the world and need slaves to polish my solid plutonium shoes.
Maximini: Plus...how would you kill my bullies? You're not very big...
Kibum: Science.
Maximini: .............Damn, that's sexy.
Kibum: x]
Maximini: But...it's Daeshim's fault. I know it is.
Kibum: ??
Maximini: Yeah, I did get us an A on our project. An A++ with a smile face!
Kibum: ??
Maximini: Apparently, my genius couldn't salvage Daeshim's stupidity. All my effort couldn't pull up his average enough to keep him from repeating the grade. And now he's taking it out on me.
Kibum: Stay away from the fucker.
Maximini: I'm trying, Kibum! But somehow he got ahold of my cell phone number...
Kibum: !!!
Maximini: Yeah...I've been meaning to tell you this....but before I tell you, you gotta promise me you won't do anything rash.
Kibum: No.
Maximini: Aw, come on! You have to promise or I can't tell you. And I HAVE to tell you! You're my best friend/boyfriend.
Kibum: No.
Maximini: Fine. Then I won't tell you the whole story. Daeshim threatened me. The end.
Kibum: ?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Maximini: Nope, not telling you the rest. If I do, you'll show up and try to be a hero and it'll only get you hurt. I know I said I'd let you help me out, but this is too much. I can't ask that of you.
Kibum: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maximini: Now YOU'RE threatening me????? How do you think that makes me feel, Kibum??!?!
Kibum: .......
Maximini: It's alright....I forgive you...
Kibum: Hypocrite.
Maximini: ...
Maximini: Dammit...
Maximini: Okay, I'll tell you the rest. But you have to promise me you won't try to help me any more than necessary.
Kibum: Okay.
Maximini: Okay...
Maximini: Daeshim called me. After berating me with a bunch of his doofus friends snickering in the background, he said since the genius who thinks he's better than everyone else isn't smart enough to help him out, he'd just have to teach me a lesson instead.
Kibum: ...
Maximini: And so on Monday of Christmas break, I have to meet Daeshim and a bunch of his friends at the park.
Kibum: Omg....
Maximini: You're not going with me.
Kibum: Yes, I am.
Maximini: You promised, Bum!
Kibum: I lied.
Maximini: Dammit, Kibum! There's gonna be a whole gang of people! And the whole school's going to watch!
Kibum: ???!!?!
Maximini: He hinted that there would be an audience. I can't have you humiliated and hurt in front of so many people. I'm telling you, not as your boyfriend or your friend, but as someone who cares about you. Don't come with me. You can help me out next time.
Kibum: ...
Maximini: Please....
Kibum: Don't go.
Maximini: That's a wonderful idea. But Daeshim said if I chickened out, he'd take his fists and his audience to my own home and finish me off there. My parents won't be home and I will NOT let Junsu see me get my ass beaten. I'll never hear the end of it.
Kibum: Jaejoong.
Maximini: ...You're actually suggesting I go to Kim Jaejoong on purpose...?
Kibum: !!!!!
Maximini: Alright, alright, I appreciate you being more worried about me than jealous...
Maximini: But absolutely not. Daeshim said if I brought someone like him again, he'd just wait a few days and jump me when I least expect it.
Maximini: And I told you, Jaejoong only LOOKS strong and manly. If Daeshim and his friends still tried to attack with Jaejoong as my bodyguard, he'd only get crushed. I can't take that kind of guilt.
Kibum: Junsu.
Maximini: You're not listening. Daeshim said NO BODYGUARDS.
Kibum: He's not a bodyguard. He's your brother.
Maximini: ...
Maximini: Whatever. Listening to Junsu laugh in my face would hurt a lot more than Daeshim's fist in my face.
Kibum: Then I'm going with you.
Maximini: Kibum...
Kibum: You said I'd be a shitty person if I didn't help out my boyfriend.
Maximini: Yes, I did.
Kibum: Hypocrite.
Maximini: This is different!
Kibum: Hypocrite.
Maximini: ...
Kibum: Hypo. Crite.
Maximini: Look, when you help me escape from bullies in the hallway or stand in the way when someone tries to steal my book bag, it's okay. You're not getting hurt and no one turns their hostility on you. You're just that weird, quiet kid that follows the nerd around all the time. But this is different...
Kibum: Hypocrite.
Maximini: They're going to pummel me! Not steal shit. PUMMEL.
Kibum: Hypocrite.
Maximini: ...It hurts when you call me that...
Kibum: Hypocrite.
Maximini: ...
Kibum: Hypocrite.
Maximini: FINE!
Kibum: ...
Maximini: You can come with me...
Kibum: Thank you.
Maximini: You're thanking me for turning you into a good boyfriend and making myself the shitty person? Well, then you're very fucking welcome.
Kibum: I'll help you.
Maximini: How? You're puny!
Kibum: ...
Kibum: I'll be there for you.
Maximini: ......
Maximini: They'll throw punches at you, too, you know.
Kibum: I know.
Maximini: And kick. They'll probably kick, too.
Kibum: I know.
Maximini: The crowd might throw stuff at us. Or even participate.
Kibum: I know.
Maximini: ...
Maximini: Kibum, you're the bravest person I know.
Kibum: I know.
Maximini: And I love you.
Kibum: I know.
Maximini: Come on. Say it back.
Kibum: I know.
Maximini: That doesn't make sense =_=
Kibum: I know
Maximini: I am now stripping you of your epik genius rights.
Kibum: No!
Maximini: Ha! Then say it!
Kibum: ...
Maximini: Haha...I love you, too.
Kibum: x]
Maximini: Okay, we have to prepare!
Kibum: Right.
Maximini: Wear long pants and a long sleeve shirt, that way we won't get scratched at and bring home marks for our parents to freak out about.
Kibum: ....
Maximini: I know we're gonna get more bruises from getting punched and kicked, but we're taking this one step at a time, friend! One step at a time.
Kibum: Fine.
Maximini: You think we should get helmets?
Kibum: ...
Maximini: Yeah, that is kinda nerdy. Okay, no helmets.
Maximini: Don't bring any jewelry or technology. No watches, no cell phones or anything. They'll either take it or destroy it in water or ketchup juice or whatever unpleasant liquid they'll pour on us.
Kibum: Kay.
Maximini: Oh! Wear your best running shoes. We're gonna need it.
Kibum: ...
Maximini: You don't? Okay, fine you can borrow mine.
Kibum: ...
Maximini: That's right...I do wear a bigger size than you...
Maximini: Then I'll just steal some of Junsu's shoes. Maybe if I'm lucky, I can grab his soccer cleats. Heh heh, bet Daeshim would think twice about messing with us again~
Kibum: ??
Maximini: Nah, he won't notice. Junsu's been pretty spaced out lately.
Kibum: ?
Maximini: I dunno what's wrong with him but something is definitely up. He's been quiet. QUIET.
Kibum: ...
Maximini: Junsu and Quiet do NOT follow the natural order of things, man. I'm freaked out. It's Armageddon, I tell you!
Kibum: ???
Maximini: Pffft. If I asked him what's wrong, he'd squeal at me and then I'd just wish he'd be quiet again...
Maximini: I heard mom and dad talking about sending Junsu to the child psychiatrist I went to. They're worried, too.
Kibum: ...
Maximini: Nah. I bet it has something to do with Yoochun. He's the only one that has that kind of power over my brother. They've known each other longer than I've been alive. I'm sure Yoochun will fix him sooner or later.
Kibum: ...........
Maximini: Ha! It IS totally obvious he's in love with Junsu. xD Only an idiot would be blind enough to miss it.
Kibum: ......
Maximini: ...............Okay, yes, just like I was blind enough to miss how you felt about me for so long......
Maximini: It's genetic, okay! You can't defeat genetics!
Kibum: -.-
Maximini: Whatever! You and I are together now. Isn't that all that matters????
Kibum: !!!
Maximini: My love intelligence has nothing to do with my GPA!! Nothing!
Kibum: ....
Maximini: No, YOUR love IQ is -4,000!!!!! D<
Kibum: x]
Maximini: xP
Maximini: ...
Maximini: I'm scared...
Kibum: Me too.
Maximini: But you're the brave one. And I told you you didn't have to come with me. Daeshim isn't calling you out.
Kibum: I know.
Maximini: .....You're the best
Kibum: I know.
Maximini: The best boyfriend and the best friend
Kibum: I know.
Maximini: ...And you're going to invite me over for dinner later on...
Kibum: I know.
Maximini: And you're going to give me all of your food.... All of it. Every delicious bite.
Kibum: I know.
Maximini: ...
Maximini: Kim Kibum is inferior to Max, the Great, Changmin in every delightful way possible.
Kibum: Nice try, bitch.
Maximini: You're no fun! xP
Kibum: x]
Maximini: I'll text you when mom's ready to drive me over, kay?
Kibum: Kay.
Maximini: ...And thanks again.
Kibum: No problem...
Maximini: See ya later.
Kibum: Wait!
Maximini: Huh?
Kibum: I love you.
Maximini: ...
Maximini: I know.
Kibum: ...
***Maximini has signed out
Kibum: x]
***Kibum has signed out
Chapter 45--------------------
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