J.A.E.S.U. [7 - H.Y.O.R.I.]

[k_chan91]

Title: J.A.E.S.U. (Just After Every Slut's Underwear) 
Author: k_chan91 
Disclaimer: ...Disclaim is not in my vocabulary 8D 
Length: [7/?] 
Pairings: Jaesu, Hanchul, Su...??? o.O Mwahaha! 
Genre: Romantic comedy 
Rating: PG-13 (Some dialogue and stuff...) 
Summary: Jaejoong has always been the dumper, never the dumpee. One could call him a player, but he prefers a more accurate name. A professional. But when his latest love interest suddenly turns his back on him, he begins to question whether he's lost his game. After agreeing to a bet with his good friend Kim Heechul, Jaejoong's newest challenge is the virgin new guy, Junsu. In this new territory, can Jaejoong withhold his reputation and claim this Junsu person as his own? Will he want to let go once the bet is over?

A/N: ...HECK YES!!!!!!!!! >8DDDD J.A.E.S.U. is BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


1 - B.E.T.  ||   2a - H.A.T.E.  ||   2b - P.O.R.N.  ||   2c - P.L.A.N.S.  ||   3 - F.R.A.T.  ||   4 - P.L.A.Y.  ||   5 - G.A.M.E.S.  ||  6 - S.I.N.K.I.N.G.  ||

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

H.Y.O.R.I. (Hide! Your Other Relative Intrudes)

Jaejoong awoke with a foggy residue of anger. The ceiling pissed him off for some reason. Seemed like a good enough reason not to go to class today.

Jaejoong stretched under his white too-thick-for-spring bed sheets and threw an arm over his forehead. Should he be worried that he hadn't attended a single class that entire week? Well, there was that one chemistry lab on Monday. But he'd spent the entire time eye-flirting with the T.A. who was young, good looking and not so implicitly implied that Jaejoong's hands were good for handling bunsen burners and other things of hot nature.

Life was hard. Harder than Jaejoong thought. Failure just wasn't something that he was well acquainted with. Jaejoong's skills were fail-proof. In high school, he had turned a janitor gay just because he bent over in front of him to pick up a stray piece of litter and tossed it in the trash.

Don't get any wrong ideas. He didn't intend to do it in front of the janitor. Jaejoong didn't go for old guys with gray hair and missing teeth, contrary to the rumors of his antis that assumed he sold his marvelous body on the street. The target had been a hot senior baseball player behind the janitor, but all messages got misconstrued. But that still didn't count as a failure because he had still gotten the senior in bed after the bus ride home.

The faint soft snores puffing from Heechul's royal spot on the top bunk across the cramped dorm room from his own creaking cot made Jaejoong chuckle slightly. That guy was only bearable when he was knocked out cold asleep.

The sounds of Heechul barely snoring and Changmin having conversations with the dream people inside his head had become a lullaby for Jaejoong since he moved in with the two.

Wait-

Heechul barely snoring. Check. Conversations with dream people...?

Jaejoong turned his head slightly to peer into the bottom bunk across from his cot on the other side of the room. Come to think of it, Changmin had been missing for the entire week. Like entirely MIA or POW or something.

The kid hadn't even come to the dorm to sleep or study or...anything for the past few days. Jaejoong had begun to vaguely wonder if he had found a bench in the park somewhere to sleep at night. Maybe he slept in a biology lab. Shudder.

Jaejoong almost smirked for a second. His "aggressive" man-handling of the tall freshman in the library that one day hadn't been too forward, right? He certainly hoped he hadn't damaged their friendship in any kind of way. Ho ho ho ho...

But Jaejoong's smirk burned away with the staggering gaze of the maknae curled up in a fetal position in the bunk before him, his eyes as wide as saucers, certainly not asleep, and his fingers turned white in grasping his sheets and...were they trembling? Just how long had he been awake and staring like that?

"Changmin," Jaejoong cooed in a voice he knew was deeper and raspier than normal from sleep. People informed him all the time of how his morning after-sex voice curled things inside of them, sinful things, that made them want to crumble and burn beneath the weight of their desires and take Jaejoong again and again until that husky melody returned the next morning.

Behind all logic, the other's eyes grew even wider and Changmin visibly pressed his back into the wall as if Jaejoong were a terrible sewer monster ready to strike.

"Min," Jaejoong sat up in his cot and leaned against his own wall with crossed arms. The smile on his face grew with each passing second. "I need to go to the library today. Can you help me pick out a book?"

Jaejoong tried to ignore the shameful yelping sound of kicked puppy that leapt from the younger man's mouth in an effort to retain at least some of the respect he held for his friend.

"Can you answer a question for me, Min Min?" Jaejoong's smile and voice were smooth and sweet like honey, but his deep black eyes were tainted with pure evil intentions. "Can you tell me why no one I know--and I know a lot of people--knows where you've been for the past week?"

No response. Just widening eyes and the sound of pride crashing to the floor.

"Not a trace," Jaejoong continued, licking his lips thirstily. "Have you been going to class this whole week, dongsaeng? Don't be like your hyung. You have to get a good education."

Jaejoong was sure Changmin hadn't even blinked since he'd started talking to him. He would bet money and the shirt on his back just for good measure that the youngest had not slept all night and laid there staring at Jaejoong's sleeping form just to make sure he didn't get up in the middle of the night to rape Changmin in his sleep.

"Do I have to come over there and knock some sense into you?" Jaejoong's voice would've changed to a more stern, fatherly tone, if the wide smile on his moist lips hadn't muffled it completely. "Do I have to use force on you just to make sure my message gets across?"

He leaned forward from his bed threateningly. Just threateningly enough to make Changmin snap from his curled, lying position to up and erect against the wall and heaving shaky, painful gasps with each fearful breath. This was fun.

"Changmin," Jaejoong gasped in mock insult and placed a hand defensively on his chest. "Are you...are you afraid of me?" He leaned forward even more, butt perched precariously on the very edge of his mattress. At this point, Changmin seemed absolutely desperate to make himself a part of the wall.

A crazy grin wrecking his face the entire time, Jaejoong slowly, painfully slowly inched forward. One miniscule step after another, he made his way towards the younger man crushing himself into his bed in pure, agonized fear.

Soon Jaejoong found himself crouched on the floor just before Changmin's mattress, staring up at him over the rumpled sheets in catlike surveillance of his prey. Imperceptibly, Changmin shook his head, stiff but firm, begging the other not to...presumably rape him.

And for a brief moment, Jaejoong began to reconsider his actions. Maybe he shouldn't be traumatizing one of his best friends. Threatening others with rape is bad. At least that's what that creepy high school janitor had randomly told him before Jaejoong had to leave the bathroom at that very moment in a haste before he had even gotten to pee. He was pretty sure unzipping his pants and unloading himself into the urinal in front of that guy was a bad idea.

But Changmin ruined any sense of pity Jaejoong might have held in his heart with a single note. A single sound, not quite as pitiable as the crying puppy noise he'd made before which Jaejoong was still working to erase from his memory, but a reverberation climbing from the depths of his throat that soothed the eldest's tensed and angry nerves like music to his ears.

He moaned.

It wasn't a lustful, wanton moan like the kind Jaejoong was so aptly used to. More like the kind that created a wall between what is left of one's pride and the aching, uncontrollable sobs of despair. That kind of moan.

It cracked a wicked smile across Jaejoong's lips. It must be illegal in some country somewhere to be so insufferably cute. Jaejoong used this logic to justify pouncing into the bed of the frightened--very...frightened--young male in the bunk bed, creating a suspicious racket that must have sounded quite peculiar to whoever slept next to the wall in the room adjacent to theirs.

"Not again!" Changmin's strained voice called out, muffled against the warped tangle of sheets and his hyung's wandering hands.

Jaejoong chuckled loudly, completely unable to contain the pure joy glowing from his face. "Not again? You mean you didn't enjoy the first time? Should I make this experience more pleasurable for you?" With an evil cackle, he shoved his hands up Changmin's loose white shirt, clawing at the skin beneath with mirthful abandon.

"Idiots...should shut up..." The voice floated from the bunk above them and disappeared as the mattress of the top bunk creaked with Heechul's shifting weight.

"In that case, if you could kindly go back to sleep in silence and give us a little privacy, all would be much appreciated," Jaejoong had to raise his voice a little too loud for the level preferred for the dorm's established quiet hours of the early morning in order to be heard over Changmin's thrashing and begging protests. But Jaejoong had the boy trapped and straddled between his powerful legs, so he wasn't going anywhere too soon.

"I am sleeping," Heechul's voice grew in annoyance and the stress in the mattress above Jaejoong's head escalated violently. "Which is why you two should shut up and let me get my beauty rest."

Jaejoong's hands idly migrated to the waistband of Changmin's sweat pants as the other was almost brought to tears in the fruitless effort of escape. "Aw, hyung. Couldn't get any rest while you spent yesterday evening rolling around in the sheets with Hankyung?"

The top half of the bunk became eerily quiet. The lower bunk only increased in the sound of Changmin's cries.

"Oh, that's right," Jaejoong's amused voice danced with unshaken laughter. "Hankyung was probably rolling around in the sheets playing video games while you stared at his muscled body wishing he would shed that darn purity of his and just screw you."

The top bunk came alive once more with Heechul's jerking movements and suddenly a long-haired feminine face lowered itself over the side of his bunk to peer at the romping figures struggling on Changmin's bed. For some reason, music from the Grudge rang through Jaejoong's mind as he stared at the face of a very pissed, very upside-down face of man of little sleep.

"He worships me," Heechul sneered, eyes narrowed into slits.

Jaejoong snorted. "Clearly. I mean, I know he loves your mind but your body...not so much. Otherwise, why won't he even let you kiss him?"

"I don't see you and Junsu making any headway in that department," Heechul smirked through the anger clouding his face. "If I remember correctly, you guys have til tomorrow to do the deed or else..."

Jaejoong frowned, not only because Changmin had begun using his short nails to claw red streaks into the otherwise clear skin on his arms. "What could you possibly do? You never really clarified on that small detail of my punishment."

"What could I do?" The laughter that erupted from Heechul's sleep-tainted lips made the hairs on Jaejoong's neck stand on end. "What couldn't I do? You're always being followed, my son."

"Followed...?"

"Whenever you smell the faint scent of Beijing fried rice...you're back is being watched," An evil glint darkened Heechul's eyes. "Don't bother watching it yourself, because there is no hope of secrets. All is bared to the one that can see deep into your soul...soul.....soul....soul..........."

A brief roll of the eyes and Jaejoong clamped his hand over Changmin's mouth to keep the crazed screaming to a minimum. "Despite the do-it-yourself echo you've provided for me, am I supposed to be particularly afraid that my back is constantly being watched by Hankyung? So what if he catches me in the act of something unheard of? Like Junsu yelling for the whole world to hear that he hates the ground I walk on. He'll be seen as the loser. Not me."

Jaejoong couldn't figure out for the life of him why he hadn't thought of that logic in the beginning. But maybe the extraneous volume he'd used the evening before to scald the enormous ego of a young man whose name began with "Jun" and ended with "Su" rattled his brain just a little.

"What makes you think people around here aren't so easily swayed? Especially if I put a couple extra spins on my story," Heechul spat, inching as close to the other's face as he could without falling off the side of his elevated bed. "Life could get real difficult for you."

A confident smile dangling from his plump lips, Jaejoong filled the gap between their faces for the elder while keeping one hand firmly over Changmin's struggling mouth and the other still touching the youngest in very inappropriate ways. "My mouth can do way more wonders for the horny students of this campus than your petty gossip."

Heechul's large brown eyes almost disappeared into seething slits. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

They kept their fiery gazes for a moment longer, only the sounds of Changmin's strife between Jaejoong's legs interrupting the moment of pure hatred between best friends.

"Well," Heechul began in a low, measured voice. "I bet you didn't expect...Hankyung to find your baby pictures!"

The hand over Changmin's mouth flew to Jaejoong's own as his eyes flew open in shock. "No!" Not surprisingly, once Changmin's mouth was left free, he said the exact same thing, but for different reasons as Jaejoong's other hand dutifully, yet absentmindedly explored the skin of his lower back.

Still hanging half his body upside-down off the side of his bed, Heechul laughed with a force that shook the bed and the lamp on the desk across the room. There had to be a limit to such evil.

"That's right, Kim," Heechul snickered. "Hankyung told me to tell you to tell your mom that she is such a nice, caring, friendly woman. Friendly enough to believe some random Chinese guy who claimed to be her son's best friend of all time and kindly displayed some amazing photos of little Kim Jaejoong-"

"Don't. You. Dare." Jaejoong's head was so foggy with hot steam right now, he could barely register Changmin's kicks and screams beneath him.

"Dressed-"

"Heechul." Jaejoong growled in warning, one corner of his mouth rising in ire.

"In-"

"You better not."

"Colorful-"

"I'll kill you-"

"Wonderful-"

"-and your dog."

"Girl's clothes!"

Changmin owed a lot to Heechul. It was that comment that finally got Jaejoong's weight off his waist and his wandering hands away from his innocent skin and off to do other more productive things that did not include molesting the maknae. Like chucking shoes at Heechul from across the room.

Jaejoong's life as a young, growing child was an enigma to the general public that he liked to keep shrouded in mystery. The woman he called his mother wanted a child. Deeply. Like the way a starving man wants food, water and a Playboy magazine. For one reason or another, this was impossible. And thus Jaejoong was brought into his current parents' household as a mere infant.

His parents were generally peaceful people, but Jaejoong was told that one of the few major collisions the two have had in their years of marriage was in whether to adopt a boy or a girl. Once the two laid eyes on Baby Jaejoong in the adoption center, both fully and wholesomely agreed that this was the one that they would treasure and nourish forever.

Jaejoong's mother glowed with what would soon become her beautiful baby girl. Jaejoong's father chuckled in memory of his own childhood which he would soon bestow upon his new baby boy. It wasn't until the nurse hastily stepped between the two and informed them that Jaejoong was definitely a boy. Jaejoong's father always laughed at that memory, saying he was glad the nurse showed up at that time because she had given him a baby boy and the self control not to throw Jaejoong's mother from the seventh floor window.

But Jaejoong's mother would not give up. Once Baby Jaejoong had settled into his new home...she attacked. With pink, fluffy dresses and bonnets with smiling fairies embroidered with lace. A bomb in Jaejoong's past he wished would detonate quietly in the shadows of his memories.

Heechul's guffawing and gleeful squirming in his bed in an effort to avoid the projectile shoes and keep his insides from exploding from laughter almost covered up the light metallic tinkling sounds coming from somewhere on the floor. Jaejoong paused briefly in his shoe war to glance around the room quizzically for the source of the familiar sound.

The otherwise spotless room held random items of Jaejoong clothes from the day before, strewn all on the floor, one sock hanging off the desk and his belt curled around Changmin's laptop. Was he so angry last night, his clothes ended up strewn around the room in a heated fury before he grumbled himself to sleep?

He spent ample time clawing through the clothes on the floor in search of his pants while Heechul still gasped in laughter. Jaejoong was sure he'd be too late by the time he found it til he reached under his cot, pulled out the day-old jeans and snatched out his singing cell phone.

Nuna nomu yeppo...

"Hello?" Jaejoong made a point of not glancing at the name of the caller on his cell phone screen. To him, that little bit of technology stripped away the mystery in life, the spice that Jaejoong liked to keep tingling on the tip of his tongue.

"KIM JAEJOONG!"

He was pretty sure his right ear drum had shattered into miniscule pieces.

"A-Auntie Hyori?" All Jaejoong's tough exterior he worked so hard to sculpt around himself dissolved in that one shrill greeting. A rare sight Heechul considered himself blessed to have witnessed and was therefore reduced to more senseless giggling.

"You still sound sleepy. Wake up, you lazy animal!" The older woman barked into the speaker, but the familial respect Jaejoong felt for the woman guarded him from tearing the phone from his ear and shouting towards the device at arm's length.

"But I'm no-"

"Quiet and let me finish!"

Uh-oh. Someone was feeling hormonal today. Oh, wait. She was always like this. Jaejoong took a deep breath and pasted on a sly smile for comfort even though she couldn't see it and squeezed all traces of fear from his voice with silky sweet innocence.

"Yes, Auntie Hyori?" The skill in which Jaejoong could change emotional directions in a quick shift of facial muscles and a little manipulation of his vocal cords scared even him.

"Don't try to butter me up, boy," she snapped. "I'm not as sweet and mild as my sister. God knows how she put up with your insolence for twenty years."

"Mom's an angel," Jaejoong's honey-like smile grew as Heechul snorted in apathetic disappointment and rolled back over to sleep.

"And I'm not?!" The older woman roared into Jaejoong's now very tender ears. "How many times have I told you to respect your eld-"

"Aw, Auntie, you're my kitten, of course," Jaejoong cooed, cradling the phone in the crook of his neck as he absentmindedly gathered his abandoned clothes in search of the laundry basket. "Warm and affectionate and small enough to cuddle but equipped with with raw claws of...love." He almost snorted in laughter at the last part, but control is certainly a rare virtue.

"Don't give me your crap, Kim Jaejoong," Jaejoong could almost hear the woman violently rolling her eyes and grasping a broom handle in one hand with a death grip. "When is the last time you went to the classes your mother and father are paying for?"

"You know I'm a good boy, Auntie," Jaejoong chuckled, vaguely avoiding the question.

The sound of a cat (Either Chopsticks or Curry, Jaejoong wasn't quite sure) screeching in the background after a resonant clanging disturbance and the sound of water sloshing over metal emitted through the phone. She often threw things into the kitchen sink when something frustrated her.

"I emailed all your professors."

The low growling of his irate relative and a cat in the background secured a nauseating knot in the back of Jaejoong's throat. Where exactly was this going?

"Are they friends of yours or...?" The laugh Jaejoong let tumble out was weak and a tad confused.

"They must be exceptionally good friends with you to allow my nephew to skirt around with the horrendous grades you're sporting!"

Words could not describe Jaejoong's shock. He stared into space with his mouth hanging open, admittedly, not his most attractive look.

"H-How...Why...You......" All sense of coherence and organized thought was gone.

"Your auntie is rather persuasive," She said almost boastingly. "I convinced all your professors to email me all your grades, essays and projects over this past sememster. Your grades are just a hair's length away from raising bile from the pits of my stomach. I read your essays, Kim Jaejoong. Atrocious. Just atrocious."

"Auntie Hy-"

"And how did you achieve those pitiful abominable grades without doing any hard work of your own? I wondered this for a while. But I have some pretty caustic connections in my group of contacts."

"But," Jaejoong desperately racked his brain for a well-needed response. "I'm an adult, Auntie. You can't just-"

"Adult?! Would an adult seduce his professors into giving him just barely borderline grades to pass through the semester, but leaving him to fail at the principles of life? I. Am. Not. Happy. Kim. Jaejoong."

He gulped. It was the only thing keeping him from passing out on the floor with his aunt still raving in his ear.

"Through a little investigation, I've discovered that all your professors know my nephew fairly well. I hear you're quite skilled."

Jaejoong could have sworn he had just witnessed his own soul depart from his body through his nostrils and float away under the crack in the door. Bye, Soul. Take me with you, Soul.

"Do what you want in your own private time, Jaejoong," His aunt continued, breathing heavily into the phone. "But do NOT let your little escapades ruin the fine lineage your great great great grandparents have nursed since before you entered this family. I don't care who you screw, just don't screw up your life!"

"Auntie Hyori, please-" Jaejoong gasped, not sure if the heat in his cheeks originated from embarrassment or shame.

"Education is key!" She barked. "Get a good one and life will be putty in your hands. You can become a rich CEO or scientist or lawyer with ample education and hard work, so you better get your head out of some other guy's mouth and into the books where it belongs."

Jaejoong cringed.

"How can I make this more clear to you!?" Jaejoong was no longer sure how this woman still had any breath left in her lungs to project. "Study now. Sex later. Got it? Do you hear me, Kim Jaejoong?!"

"I got it! I got it!" Subconsciously, Jaejoong shook his head fervently and held up his hand defensively in a desperate effort to appease the irate woman on the phone.

"Get a tutor!" She continued with no less heat than she had started this whole conversation in the beginning. "A female tutor. And if your beauty somehow overrides your gay sense and you can't even keep your hands off of her, then get an asexual tutor. Changmin. I like that boy. Smart kid and has a good head on his shoulders. Get him to tutor you."

An exhausted sigh escaped Jaejoong's troubled lips. Of course. All parents love Changmin. But did they know the Shim Changmin that yelled at inanimate objects when he was piss drunk? And...did she just imply that Changmin was asexual?

"Okay, Auntie," He rubbed at his pounding temple, wondering how he had acquired such a headache so quickly.

"You will graduate with top honors," His aunt growled. "I will have nothing but ultimate success in my family. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Auntie..."

"And if you don't shape up, I will have you sent to a military college where you can become a successful lieutenant and screw all your privates senseless so they can have the energy to fight for their country."

"Yes, Auntie.... Wait- what?!"

"One word from me and I'll have convinced your parents to pull you out of that university you've got so tightly wrapped around your finger. Have I not told you that your auntie is persuasive person?"

The subtle mocking tone in his aunt's voice made something in Jaejoong's core tremble.

"Last warning, Jaejoong. Shape up or pack up."

Dial tone.

Shaking his head slowly, Jaejoong snapped his phone shut and racked his fingers through his sleep-tossed hair. Such women should only exist in very, very small numbers for this earth to survive.

"It's going to be pretty hard for you to seduce Junsu in bed if you get kicked out of college," A soft, taunting voice floated from Heechul's top bunk and the room was left silent for a while.

Frustration, confusion and a little fear churned in Jaejoong's empty stomach. Why were such obstacles rearing their hideous heads so frequently ever since Jaejoong had first tried and failed to hit on Junsu?

"Changmin..." Jaejoong called, mixed with a groan and turned towards the youngest roommate's bed.

He was gone.

For almost a full minute, Jaejoong simply stared at a spot on the mattress, cold and lifeless, but not because Changmin had left the room so long ago that the sheets had cooled down from lack of touch--because Jaejoong knew the boy had been there only a few minutes...no...seconds ago--but because Changmin must have been a heatless, soulless ghost who hovered on the soft currents of the air and had disappeared completely through the wall the second Jaejoong turned around. It was the only logical answer.

"Where's Changmin?" The question was so soft, Jaejoong himself could barely hear it.

With an irritated groan, Heechul turned slightly in his bed. "Changmin left?"

Jaejoong needed no further encouragement to bolt from the room, slamming the door behind him, leaving a rather irritable Heechul to curl up and drift back to sleep in newfound silence.

As Jaejoong's bare feet slapped against the wooden floors of the hallway, he vaguely realized he was still in sleep attire, including a flimsy wife beater, navy blue pajama bottoms and no footwear to speak of. But the strange looks from the guys at the reception desk in the lobby assured him that he could be wearing a hamster suit and still look smoking hot as their expressions changed to unabashed lust.

Changmin was virtually the only thing standing between Jaejoong and the lifestyle he'd become so accustomed to. And Jaejoong would rather bare the honesty of his soul to Kim Junsu and let the man draw on his naked body with a hate-filled crayon than let Changmin doom him to shaving his head in the military.

Chapter 8a
------------------------------
I <3 cookies and comments~



hit counter