I lost the title but here're some random thoughts on motherhood

[jzlyn]

I've been very honest about this mothering journey, perhaps a little too much at times. I'd like to think that I am presenting a fair view of motherhood; there are rewards (which are more evident AFTER 6 months) along with a whole host of challenges that you cannot prepare adequately for. There are plenty of dark entries in 2011 to last a lifetime

Comments

[dreamlaughlive]

I love this piece! Something along this lines was in my head too. Just that my story was that I was one of those who really really wanted to have a baby. But after having the boy, I realized how hard it is and I was (still do now, especially on my bad days) sorely missing being DINKs; oh, the dinner dates and holidays on short notices!

Thanks for your honest posts on motherhood! Rest assured you are not the only one with the bad mummy days. I m sure every mummy has them, I get them quite often too haha. And I think you've done great! Especially those initial months when you had no help!!

[jzlyn]

I feel guilty saying that
- I am not one of those who wanted to be a mom, especially knowing a number of people struggling to conceive - I sound so ungrateful.

- I cannot wait for her to self-wean when there are others wanting to breastfeed but for whatever reasons couldn't.

Have you been able to leave T with your in-laws while hubby and you grab a quick (and earlish) dinner?

[dreamlaughlive]

Motherhood brings about really intense and complicated feelings doesn't it? Sometimes you just want to hold the baby so close and sometimes you want to have your own space, but you'd love her all the time.

I haven't had alone dinner time with the hubs without the boy! Partly cos I m not sure the in-laws can handle but also partly cos the boy and I are rather sticky to each other (goes both way). And honestly I do seriously crave for couple time, for my own and the marriage's sanity! One of the things on our to-do list haha

[elyrie]

I really appreciated (and still do!) your honesty - it's very refreshing. And your kid does have gorgeous eyes :)

[jzlyn]

Thanks dear. Some people are born with stronger maternal instincts while others like myself could have happily done without.

That's all in the past and I am glad my first born is a happy, healthy girl (behaving very much like a tomboy at the mo!) who at this young age has a very strong will!

[anonymous]

Hi Jzlyn, Dont worry so much. You are doing alright. Everything will be forgotten when she grows up and you will be proud of her. She is going to be a very beautiful girl.

[jzlyn]

Thank you. I am proud of her already no matter how frustrating some days can be.

[yflyn]

It has been two years since I had The Bun, and it is not nice to hear but I speak honestly when I say that I still cannot agree with the 'I cannot imagine my life without him' statement. As you say, I spent years and years living only for myself; it is going to take a while for me to get used to being responsible for another life, as much as I may love him. It sounds so selfish but it is also bluntly true, and yet it has also made me step up to the plate and take on this duty that I cannot shirk. I guess that's what they say about personal growth - this is how we grow into mothers. We don't just give birth to the child and automatically join the club

[jzlyn]

Add away, I am adding you back if you don't mind either.

Couldn't agree more with what you have said about growing into mothers. I guess some people do take on the role more willingly and better equipped than me; the ones who always coo over other people's babies, always offer to hold them, have had experience looking after their younger siblings / cousins / whoever. I never even bothered looking at babies until I have one (I'm one of those who hide away when people bring in newborns because I don't know what else to say besides "congrats your baby looks like an alien" - cmon, even Clover looks like an alient for the first 4-8 weeks!).

[anonymous]

I've always loved your honesty about motherhood. It is refreshing because we often read/hear women talking about how they enjoy their new baby, love motherhood, or that everything is a breeze. Being a mother of a challenging baby (who has just turned 4 and still IS challenging), I know how hard motherhood can be. It is BRUTAL. And unfortunately, not many people want to talk about the negatives of the journey. So I really enjoy reading your posts (not that I am gloating over the fact that you had a hard few months at first) because I can relate to them. You have done excellent. It is not easy living abroad with no family help. I know best because I have been living overseas in 2 different countries with no babysitting or domestic help. Today, I still miss some aspects of my old life (DINK, shopping, travelling without having to cart along a pram, and even having my meals in peace).

[jzlyn]

Thank you.

I guess losing the DINK lifestyle is a little like burying a part of myself; you can't ever truly get over it.