I'm feeling like a man waking from a month long nightmare ( Read more... )

I just had an epiphany.

I feel lonely.

I'm in a fucking fucked up foursome, I have three kids, and I feel lonely. I'm Tantalus dying of thirst and hunger while standing in a pool of water, with trees bearing fruit all around me.

( Cut because I had a lot more to say than I expected )

I'm confused. I'm really confused. And worried.

I feel like I should be in two places at the same time.

Marton, I told you once (when we were otherwise occupied) that there was a theory on the Internet that I had written this as a love poem for Orlando. Here it is, make up your own mind about it. *cheeky grin ( Read more... )

justviggo
is blah.

I've met prosthetic legs with more get-up-and-go than you. Could you be less melancholy and go out and do something?

brought to you by interim32. wanna know your livejournal's mood ring
color? enter your username and hit the button.

Livejournal Mood Ring

I love children, I really do. I had buried very far away the disappointing thoughts that I would probably only have Henry-- not that Henry isn't wonderful-- and tried to go on with my life. I'm not even scared by the perspective of having twins. In a way, I much prefer to be kept awake by crying babies than because I have to battle Orcs all night ( Read more... )

I'm trying to pretend I'm fine and happy. This week turned out better than I expected even if I still think I was forgiven too easily .

But then Orlando has to leave again. Fuck. *sighs* I'm going to be the one begging him for a mark soon, just watch me. Henry is coming to stay with me this week, so I'll try to be cheerful. I have to be ( Read more... )

I am blessed with much more forgiving and understanding spouses than I deserve.

And friends too.

I don't know why they put up with me sometimes.

I thought my heart was going to break when I made Orlando cry. And even Marton.

Time to learn to shut up and vent my frustrations on canvas, I think.

Orlando is coming home next week to do some promotions for Pirate. Excuse me as I stare into space with a silly, happy grin on my face ( Read more... )