Things I Want to Say on Facebook, But Don't...

[justabi]

~ Do they not have the news in Utah?

~ Turns out I still like as adults most of the people I crushed on as a kid.

~ No, seriously, do they censor the news about the rest of the country in Utah?

~ I do not understand your crazy pants desire to virtual farm. Your parents worked really hard so you wouldn't have to farm.

~ I do not have a problem with you

Comments

[ms_soma]

Things I want to say on Facebook:

* Really? Another negative status update? You don't seem this depressed in real life.
* If you change your relationship status from "in a relationship" to "single" every time you have a fight, then no wonder your life is filled with drama.
* Constant mystery updates - don't even get me started!

[justabi]

Also related:

Why are you so funny on Facebook and such an annoying bitch in person? How does that even happen?

[tehomet]

+ Why is your wedding photo your profile photo? You got married years ago, and using that photo as your profile was weird even back then.
+ Why is your baby's photo your profile photo? Your baby is cute and all, but you are not your baby.

[justabi]

Your baby is not cute, yet. Please stop posting pictures until it has some hair.

[justabi]

You were more interesting before all your posts were about these strange little people who I do not in fact know.

[elsmoka]

+ THAT IS NOT HOW YOU SPELL THAT!!!

[justabi]

Or worse, That is NOT how science works you troglodyte!

[vengence_on_ice]

Remember: Gravity always wins. And it's usually hilarious.