Rock My World (Chapter 11)
Pairing: JongKey
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Rock musical!AU, DRAMA-MIA
Disclaimer: I wish.
Summary: When Onew leaves the Korean production of RoA, Jonghyun is promoted to lead singer in his place and a new actor is also hired. Sparks fly, drama ensues - Rock & Roll.
Rock and roll, hey
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now
Give me something to sing about.
- Paramore, Crushcrushcrush
Prologue || 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || Epilogue
( Side shot)
__________________
Rock My World - Chapter 11
He had taken Kibum back to his apartment that night and on the way home, the boy had explained how he had gone to visit Dongwoon while he was working at the music shop. He said Dongwoon had been texting him for some time now and Kibum felt like they really needed to catch up - as old friends. Jonghyun didn’t exactly mind that, but he did mind the fact that Key hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him where he was going. To be honest, it scared him a little but before he could ask Key why he hadn’t said anything to him, the younger boy had already sneaked a hand under his shirt and pushed him back onto the couch.
***
Kibum went home with him again the next day after the show, pushing and pulling the elder towards his bedroom as soon as the lock clicked behind them. Jonghyun wasn’t one to complain as he let Key strip him bare and ravish him until they were both too exhausted to continue.
The next morning, Jonghyun groaned when he felt the body next to him shift in the sheets and eventually roll out of bed. He lifted a hand to his face to rub his sleepy eyes, raising his upper body on his elbow to have a look at what was going on.
Key was standing a few meters away with his back to him, pulling his boxers back on. Jonghyun blinked a few times, trying to wake up fully despite feeling so sleepy still and glanced at the clock by his bed. It was a little past seven.
Jonghyun panicked for all of two seconds until he realized it was a little past seven AM. He glanced back towards Key, confused.
“It’s still early,” he said, voice still thick with sleep.
Kibum turned around, surprised at the sound of his voice. He looked just as tired as Jonghyun felt, even with that small, consoling smile on his lips.
“I have to go,” he answered simply.
“Why?” Jonghyun asked, incredibly disappointed to have to watch Key leave him in bed.
The younger boy finished buttoning his jeans and zipping them up before looking up to the blond and replying.
“I have some errands to run because I’m - we’re leaving for Daegu tomorrow.”
“You’re going there a lot lately,” Jonghyun observed, fingers tracing patterns in the cooling sheets by his side. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he said after having slid his shirt on, pausing a little before adding, “I should really go.”
“At least give me a morning kiss,” Jonghyun said with a pout that had the other rolling his eyes and for a second it was like everything was normal once more. Key walked up to the bed and rested his palms on either side of the blond’s head before leaning down and kissing him properly. Jonghyun bit down on Kibum’s lip, holding him back when the younger boy tried to pull away. Key was chuckling lightly when he finally managed to end their kiss.
“See you tonight,” he whispered to Jonghyun’s lips.
The elder hummed before puckering his lips one last time to press them against Kibum’s. He was about to slip out of bed to walk the boy to his door but Key placed a hand to his chest to stop him.
“It’s okay, I’ll let myself out,” he reassured the blond with a tired smile. “Sleep.”
Jonghyun waited until he heard his front door closing before flopping back down into his pillow, silently wondering what in the world Key was keeping from him.
***
Two days later, Jonghyun was sitting in his make-up chair, dutifully applying his make-up before the show. Jino was nowhere in sight; he had probably come earlier and was already done with his preparations. The lead was humming one of the songs he had written while he finished applying his dark eye shadow. He was about to get started on his eyeliner when the door to his dressing room suddenly opened and Jessica swooped inside on her high heels. Jonghyun resisted the urge to groan, instead sinking into his seat. Not again.
“What do you want?” he asked, less than happy to see the girl. Jessica ignored his tone, moving to stand beside him in front of the mirror.
“To talk to you,” she said, twirling a strand of her blond hair around her small finger.
Jonghyun sighed, not even bothering to look up to her in the mirror. “Not today.”
“Oh I think you’ll want to listen,” she said, sure of herself, and the blond’s head tilted upwards to meet her smug gaze at once.
“What,” he demanded dryly.
“Someone told me something very interesting yesterday,” she spoke, still twirling her hair. When Jonghyun didn’t answer, she continued. “I was told that Key was at a music store yesterday, acting very friendly with a tall guy with bright hair.”
Jonghyun clenched his fists on the counter in front of him. Key had said he would be in Daegu that day. Was she lying? The singer exhaled through his teeth. Even if she was, she was being strangely accurate.
“W-who told you that?” the blond asked, suddenly doubtful.
She was quick to answer, observing Jonghyun intently. “Someone who saw him - them.”
Torture. Jonghyun was being tortured, he was sure of it. He couldn’t show how much he cared, couldn’t ask too many questions without giving himself away and playing right into Jessica’s hands but he needed to know. He needed to know if she was lying, if Key had lied to him again, the mere thought of it setting his nerves on fire.
Sensing his confusion, Jessica flipped out her cell phone and handed it to him. Jonghyun took it reluctantly, carefully before letting his eyes fall onto the small bright screen. There was a blurry picture time-stamped with the previous day’s date that showed two men standing close together. Jonghyun didn’t need to look twice to confirm that it was Key and Dongwoon.
He quickly handed back the phone to Jessica, who had a look of fake concern plastered onto her small face. He needed more than a blurry cell phone picture to believe her.
Still, it hurt.
“You don’t believe me, do you?” she spoke, pocketing her phone at once. “Didn’t think so.”
“Leave me alone, Jessica,” Jonghyun said sourly, uncapping his eyeliner with more force than necessary because his hands were slightly shaking. “Go away.”
“I wasn’t done,” the girl said, her heels still planted firmly in place.
“Why should I listen to you?” the blond sighed, but on the inside his mind was reeling. He had a feeling she knew something he didn’t, something he should know.
“Because I don’t think Key has been very honest with you,” she said carefully, and suddenly she had Jonghyun’s full attention. He didn’t understand how she knew he had been lying to him and yet she was right. When he didn’t answer, she continued:
“Jonghyun, I think Key’s using you.”
Jonghyun all but dropped his eyeliner, staring back into the girl’s eyes. He was speechless. Speechless because, suddenly, everything fell into place. Why Key had been so easy, so willing in the beginning. Why he’d stayed over for nights on end. Why he’d asked Jonghyun to speak to the director on his behalf, only to act all unsure later on to make Jonghyun feel guilty and confused. Why he’d stopped caring as soon as he’d gotten promoted. Why he kept lying.
Lies. It was all a fucking act. It had all been an act. What if Key was just the perfect actor?
Jonghyun gripped his tube of eyeliner so hard the black liquid spilled over onto his hand, staining his skin. It might as well have stained his heart.
“The whole cast’s thinking it, actually,” Jessica continued, clicking her heel once against the tiles. “I mean, it’s obvious you had a thing for him and-”
“Out,” Jonghyun growled, silencing her at once. “Get out.”
Jessica looked at him with wide eyes in the mirror, tensing up at once. She had never seen Kim Jonghyun lose control before and to be honest it was quite a frightening sight. She slowly backed away and left the room, right before angry tears slipped down the lead singer’s cheeks.
A voice in the hallway screamed five minutes ‘till showtime.
Jonghyun gave the worst performance of his life that night and he couldn’t have cared less. All he cared about was glaring at everyone who dared to lock eyes with him and screaming his throat raw in his songs because it distracted him from the stitch in his chest, but then he’d lock eyes with Key and he’d have to dig his black nails into his palms to keep himself from breaking down onto the stage in front of hundreds of people he would never see again, hundreds of people who seemed to lead such simple lives compared to his. He cursed them in his mind, and then himself for falling so foolishly for a boy he barely knew anything about.
How could you. I loved you.
The director pulled him aside during the intermission, asking what the hell was wrong with him and telling him he had exactly twenty minutes to pull his shit together but Jonghyun couldn’t hear him. Couldn’t hear him because he saw that boy pass by over the old man’s shoulder and all he could think of, all he could do was twist out of the man’s grip to chase after the black-haired beauty who, despite everything, was still standing tall, beautiful as ever.
He grabbed the slim boy’s wrist and pulled him all the way to that grungy, forgotten bathroom before shoving him back into the door. He had a perfect look of worry on his face, but he also looked scared. Jonghyun snorted loudly to that - he’d had it coming, hadn’t he?
“Be honest, Key,” Jonghyun spat at once, words tumbling out of his mouth one after the other as he himself was only barely aware of what he was saying, “be honest for once and just tell me the truth.”
His obnoxious tone had Key flattened against the door, dark eyes wide.
“Jonghyun, I-” there was a streak of panic in his voice, one that Jonghyun had never heard before.
“You lied to me, didn't you,” he cut him off, not caring that his voice was raw, and not only because he had screamed his throat dry on stage. The feeling of betrayal weighed heavier in his chest with Key looking at him like that.
He had been expecting Key to fight back, had been hoping for the boy to at least try and deny it, but he kept silent, instead shrinking under Jonghyun’s harsh words and looking up at him through his dark eyes, dark hair. He seemed worried, frightened, like he wanted to run away. Jonghyun punched the door above his shoulder.
“Fucking brilliant,” Jonghyun pressed on, tone derisive, every word only adding fuel to the fire growing in his chest, dipping into his stomach and burning his throat, all adding to the building pressure inside of him that he couldn’t control. “You know, if you didn’t want to spend time with me anymore you could have just told me. That’s if you ever wanted to spend time with me in the first place, if this wasn’t all just business to you.”
Jonghyun could see Kibum swallow thickly, his Adam’s apple moving in his throat but then he lowered his head, hiding his face behind his dark fringe.
“I’m sorry,” he finally spoke, voice quivering slightly, barely above a whisper. Jonghyun stepped back from the door as the stitch in his chest began to throb painfully but he pointedly ignored it.
“You know what?” Jonghyun spoke slowly, voice low yet words biting, a stinging feeling in his eyes. He didn't want to hear the rest. “I don’t want to hear this. I have a show to give,” he added bitterly, voice cracking. A show where I’m the lead and where I didn’t have to use anyone to get the part.
“I’m so sorry, Jjong,” Kibum pleaded, tears in his eyes - when did they get there? - “I - I love you. I can explain, just-”
“Don’t you dare say that.”
With a final shove, Jonghyun pushed the boy away from the door, only to walk out, furiously wiping at his watering eyes once his back was turned because damn it he wasn’t going to cry in front of him. No, he didn’t want to hear what came next. He couldn’t stand it, not when everything had turned into such a mess.
Kibum was left to slide down to the floor and stare at the wall while silent tears streamed down his cheeks, knowing better than to call him back.
The show that night, to put it simply, was a disaster. Key hadn’t showed up for the second act, so Jino had had to step in and finish the show for him while someone else took on Jino’s part. Key was nowhere to be found when the actors all retreated to their dressing rooms afterwards - where Jonghyun spent an unhealthy amount of time under the showerhead, letting the cold water numb him completely. He felt dirty, used, but also so, so broken. Like nothing would ever be the same again because how could it?
He couldn’t believe that this was really happening, had really happened but then again the clenching in his chest and the throbbing in his head were painful enough to remind him that this was no dream.
He let himself cry because it didn’t matter anymore; the cold water would simply wash his tears away.
When he exited his dressing room much later that night, he was pretty sure he was the last one to leave, save for the janitor who was probably picking up trash in the auditorium above. A muted sob caught his attention, though, and Jonghyun had enough sense left in him to approach the source of the noise quietly. It was coming from the dressing room in front of his. The door was cracked open but it was enough for him to see Kibum stuffing things into his bag, shoulders shaking as he tried not to cry too loudly.
Jonghyun felt something constricting in his chest and rising in his throat, but he pushed it back down and left just as quietly before he could do anything stupid.
Jonghyun was genuinely confused when Key didn’t show up to perform the next day. He was even more surprised when he missed two days in a row. On the third day, Jonghyun went up to the dancer he knew as Taemin and straight out asked him if he knew where Key was.
Taemin looked at him sadly, patting his arm comfortingly before telling him that Key had been fired and that he wouldn’t be coming back.
Previous || Next
__________________
A/N: Uhhh, please don't kill me. There's still 1 chapter left!!!!
(And I'm sorry for posting this ball of drama during the holidays... Found this on tumblr, it should work if you need some cheering up. I know it made me laugh!)
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Rock musical!AU, DRAMA-MIA
Disclaimer: I wish.
Summary: When Onew leaves the Korean production of RoA, Jonghyun is promoted to lead singer in his place and a new actor is also hired. Sparks fly, drama ensues - Rock & Roll.
Rock and roll, hey
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now
Give me something to sing about.
- Paramore, Crushcrushcrush
Prologue || 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || Epilogue
( Side shot)
__________________
Rock My World - Chapter 11
He had taken Kibum back to his apartment that night and on the way home, the boy had explained how he had gone to visit Dongwoon while he was working at the music shop. He said Dongwoon had been texting him for some time now and Kibum felt like they really needed to catch up - as old friends. Jonghyun didn’t exactly mind that, but he did mind the fact that Key hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him where he was going. To be honest, it scared him a little but before he could ask Key why he hadn’t said anything to him, the younger boy had already sneaked a hand under his shirt and pushed him back onto the couch.
***
Kibum went home with him again the next day after the show, pushing and pulling the elder towards his bedroom as soon as the lock clicked behind them. Jonghyun wasn’t one to complain as he let Key strip him bare and ravish him until they were both too exhausted to continue.
The next morning, Jonghyun groaned when he felt the body next to him shift in the sheets and eventually roll out of bed. He lifted a hand to his face to rub his sleepy eyes, raising his upper body on his elbow to have a look at what was going on.
Key was standing a few meters away with his back to him, pulling his boxers back on. Jonghyun blinked a few times, trying to wake up fully despite feeling so sleepy still and glanced at the clock by his bed. It was a little past seven.
Jonghyun panicked for all of two seconds until he realized it was a little past seven AM. He glanced back towards Key, confused.
“It’s still early,” he said, voice still thick with sleep.
Kibum turned around, surprised at the sound of his voice. He looked just as tired as Jonghyun felt, even with that small, consoling smile on his lips.
“I have to go,” he answered simply.
“Why?” Jonghyun asked, incredibly disappointed to have to watch Key leave him in bed.
The younger boy finished buttoning his jeans and zipping them up before looking up to the blond and replying.
“I have some errands to run because I’m - we’re leaving for Daegu tomorrow.”
“You’re going there a lot lately,” Jonghyun observed, fingers tracing patterns in the cooling sheets by his side. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he said after having slid his shirt on, pausing a little before adding, “I should really go.”
“At least give me a morning kiss,” Jonghyun said with a pout that had the other rolling his eyes and for a second it was like everything was normal once more. Key walked up to the bed and rested his palms on either side of the blond’s head before leaning down and kissing him properly. Jonghyun bit down on Kibum’s lip, holding him back when the younger boy tried to pull away. Key was chuckling lightly when he finally managed to end their kiss.
“See you tonight,” he whispered to Jonghyun’s lips.
The elder hummed before puckering his lips one last time to press them against Kibum’s. He was about to slip out of bed to walk the boy to his door but Key placed a hand to his chest to stop him.
“It’s okay, I’ll let myself out,” he reassured the blond with a tired smile. “Sleep.”
Jonghyun waited until he heard his front door closing before flopping back down into his pillow, silently wondering what in the world Key was keeping from him.
***
Two days later, Jonghyun was sitting in his make-up chair, dutifully applying his make-up before the show. Jino was nowhere in sight; he had probably come earlier and was already done with his preparations. The lead was humming one of the songs he had written while he finished applying his dark eye shadow. He was about to get started on his eyeliner when the door to his dressing room suddenly opened and Jessica swooped inside on her high heels. Jonghyun resisted the urge to groan, instead sinking into his seat. Not again.
“What do you want?” he asked, less than happy to see the girl. Jessica ignored his tone, moving to stand beside him in front of the mirror.
“To talk to you,” she said, twirling a strand of her blond hair around her small finger.
Jonghyun sighed, not even bothering to look up to her in the mirror. “Not today.”
“Oh I think you’ll want to listen,” she said, sure of herself, and the blond’s head tilted upwards to meet her smug gaze at once.
“What,” he demanded dryly.
“Someone told me something very interesting yesterday,” she spoke, still twirling her hair. When Jonghyun didn’t answer, she continued. “I was told that Key was at a music store yesterday, acting very friendly with a tall guy with bright hair.”
Jonghyun clenched his fists on the counter in front of him. Key had said he would be in Daegu that day. Was she lying? The singer exhaled through his teeth. Even if she was, she was being strangely accurate.
“W-who told you that?” the blond asked, suddenly doubtful.
She was quick to answer, observing Jonghyun intently. “Someone who saw him - them.”
Torture. Jonghyun was being tortured, he was sure of it. He couldn’t show how much he cared, couldn’t ask too many questions without giving himself away and playing right into Jessica’s hands but he needed to know. He needed to know if she was lying, if Key had lied to him again, the mere thought of it setting his nerves on fire.
Sensing his confusion, Jessica flipped out her cell phone and handed it to him. Jonghyun took it reluctantly, carefully before letting his eyes fall onto the small bright screen. There was a blurry picture time-stamped with the previous day’s date that showed two men standing close together. Jonghyun didn’t need to look twice to confirm that it was Key and Dongwoon.
He quickly handed back the phone to Jessica, who had a look of fake concern plastered onto her small face. He needed more than a blurry cell phone picture to believe her.
Still, it hurt.
“You don’t believe me, do you?” she spoke, pocketing her phone at once. “Didn’t think so.”
“Leave me alone, Jessica,” Jonghyun said sourly, uncapping his eyeliner with more force than necessary because his hands were slightly shaking. “Go away.”
“I wasn’t done,” the girl said, her heels still planted firmly in place.
“Why should I listen to you?” the blond sighed, but on the inside his mind was reeling. He had a feeling she knew something he didn’t, something he should know.
“Because I don’t think Key has been very honest with you,” she said carefully, and suddenly she had Jonghyun’s full attention. He didn’t understand how she knew he had been lying to him and yet she was right. When he didn’t answer, she continued:
“Jonghyun, I think Key’s using you.”
Jonghyun all but dropped his eyeliner, staring back into the girl’s eyes. He was speechless. Speechless because, suddenly, everything fell into place. Why Key had been so easy, so willing in the beginning. Why he’d stayed over for nights on end. Why he’d asked Jonghyun to speak to the director on his behalf, only to act all unsure later on to make Jonghyun feel guilty and confused. Why he’d stopped caring as soon as he’d gotten promoted. Why he kept lying.
Lies. It was all a fucking act. It had all been an act. What if Key was just the perfect actor?
Jonghyun gripped his tube of eyeliner so hard the black liquid spilled over onto his hand, staining his skin. It might as well have stained his heart.
“The whole cast’s thinking it, actually,” Jessica continued, clicking her heel once against the tiles. “I mean, it’s obvious you had a thing for him and-”
“Out,” Jonghyun growled, silencing her at once. “Get out.”
Jessica looked at him with wide eyes in the mirror, tensing up at once. She had never seen Kim Jonghyun lose control before and to be honest it was quite a frightening sight. She slowly backed away and left the room, right before angry tears slipped down the lead singer’s cheeks.
A voice in the hallway screamed five minutes ‘till showtime.
Jonghyun gave the worst performance of his life that night and he couldn’t have cared less. All he cared about was glaring at everyone who dared to lock eyes with him and screaming his throat raw in his songs because it distracted him from the stitch in his chest, but then he’d lock eyes with Key and he’d have to dig his black nails into his palms to keep himself from breaking down onto the stage in front of hundreds of people he would never see again, hundreds of people who seemed to lead such simple lives compared to his. He cursed them in his mind, and then himself for falling so foolishly for a boy he barely knew anything about.
How could you. I loved you.
The director pulled him aside during the intermission, asking what the hell was wrong with him and telling him he had exactly twenty minutes to pull his shit together but Jonghyun couldn’t hear him. Couldn’t hear him because he saw that boy pass by over the old man’s shoulder and all he could think of, all he could do was twist out of the man’s grip to chase after the black-haired beauty who, despite everything, was still standing tall, beautiful as ever.
He grabbed the slim boy’s wrist and pulled him all the way to that grungy, forgotten bathroom before shoving him back into the door. He had a perfect look of worry on his face, but he also looked scared. Jonghyun snorted loudly to that - he’d had it coming, hadn’t he?
“Be honest, Key,” Jonghyun spat at once, words tumbling out of his mouth one after the other as he himself was only barely aware of what he was saying, “be honest for once and just tell me the truth.”
His obnoxious tone had Key flattened against the door, dark eyes wide.
“Jonghyun, I-” there was a streak of panic in his voice, one that Jonghyun had never heard before.
“You lied to me, didn't you,” he cut him off, not caring that his voice was raw, and not only because he had screamed his throat dry on stage. The feeling of betrayal weighed heavier in his chest with Key looking at him like that.
He had been expecting Key to fight back, had been hoping for the boy to at least try and deny it, but he kept silent, instead shrinking under Jonghyun’s harsh words and looking up at him through his dark eyes, dark hair. He seemed worried, frightened, like he wanted to run away. Jonghyun punched the door above his shoulder.
“Fucking brilliant,” Jonghyun pressed on, tone derisive, every word only adding fuel to the fire growing in his chest, dipping into his stomach and burning his throat, all adding to the building pressure inside of him that he couldn’t control. “You know, if you didn’t want to spend time with me anymore you could have just told me. That’s if you ever wanted to spend time with me in the first place, if this wasn’t all just business to you.”
Jonghyun could see Kibum swallow thickly, his Adam’s apple moving in his throat but then he lowered his head, hiding his face behind his dark fringe.
“I’m sorry,” he finally spoke, voice quivering slightly, barely above a whisper. Jonghyun stepped back from the door as the stitch in his chest began to throb painfully but he pointedly ignored it.
“You know what?” Jonghyun spoke slowly, voice low yet words biting, a stinging feeling in his eyes. He didn't want to hear the rest. “I don’t want to hear this. I have a show to give,” he added bitterly, voice cracking. A show where I’m the lead and where I didn’t have to use anyone to get the part.
“I’m so sorry, Jjong,” Kibum pleaded, tears in his eyes - when did they get there? - “I - I love you. I can explain, just-”
“Don’t you dare say that.”
With a final shove, Jonghyun pushed the boy away from the door, only to walk out, furiously wiping at his watering eyes once his back was turned because damn it he wasn’t going to cry in front of him. No, he didn’t want to hear what came next. He couldn’t stand it, not when everything had turned into such a mess.
Kibum was left to slide down to the floor and stare at the wall while silent tears streamed down his cheeks, knowing better than to call him back.
The show that night, to put it simply, was a disaster. Key hadn’t showed up for the second act, so Jino had had to step in and finish the show for him while someone else took on Jino’s part. Key was nowhere to be found when the actors all retreated to their dressing rooms afterwards - where Jonghyun spent an unhealthy amount of time under the showerhead, letting the cold water numb him completely. He felt dirty, used, but also so, so broken. Like nothing would ever be the same again because how could it?
He couldn’t believe that this was really happening, had really happened but then again the clenching in his chest and the throbbing in his head were painful enough to remind him that this was no dream.
He let himself cry because it didn’t matter anymore; the cold water would simply wash his tears away.
When he exited his dressing room much later that night, he was pretty sure he was the last one to leave, save for the janitor who was probably picking up trash in the auditorium above. A muted sob caught his attention, though, and Jonghyun had enough sense left in him to approach the source of the noise quietly. It was coming from the dressing room in front of his. The door was cracked open but it was enough for him to see Kibum stuffing things into his bag, shoulders shaking as he tried not to cry too loudly.
Jonghyun felt something constricting in his chest and rising in his throat, but he pushed it back down and left just as quietly before he could do anything stupid.
Jonghyun was genuinely confused when Key didn’t show up to perform the next day. He was even more surprised when he missed two days in a row. On the third day, Jonghyun went up to the dancer he knew as Taemin and straight out asked him if he knew where Key was.
Taemin looked at him sadly, patting his arm comfortingly before telling him that Key had been fired and that he wouldn’t be coming back.
Previous || Next
__________________
A/N: Uhhh, please don't kill me. There's still 1 chapter left!!!!
(And I'm sorry for posting this ball of drama during the holidays... Found this on tumblr, it should work if you need some cheering up. I know it made me laugh!)