What Happens In Vegas Stays On The Internet (Oneshot)
Pairings: JongKey, ninja 2min
Rating: PG-13
Genre: CRACKKKKKKKKKKK
Disclaimer: Yeah... no.
Summary: SHINee’s short trip to Vegas ends in all sorts of social clichés.
A/N: Because SHINee are going to Las Vegas soon and this needed to be done. Now please excuse me while I go hide in this corner.
The plane ride was insanely long - but at least the boys were used to it by now. Planes had become their surrogate beds, in a way. There were no rehearsals, practices, photoshoots, crowds or ninja cameras ten thousand meters above the ground. (Technology had yet to produce commercial cameras that could zoom that far.)
They landed at night, when the city was literally sparkling with lights. Technically, it was late, later than late but time zone worked in their favour for once and none of them were actually tired. They pondered what to do for all of two seconds until Onew reminded them that they were in Vegas. What was there not to do?
They argued about which casino to hit first and ultimately it was a tie between the one with the fake Eiffel Tower and the one with the big black pyramid with a huge light on top that they had seen from the airplane. It was a tie (which was a feat considering they were five) so Kibum solved it by deciding on behalf of everyone.
But then there was the issue of their manager, who wouldn’t let Jonghyun and Onew smuggle three fifths of SHINee into a casino even if they had proper fake IDs (which is an oxymoron, actually) and could all speak decent English. Which Key can, but his choice of dress code (shorts in November, really?) would probably attract attention sooner than later and, well, American security is very serious when it comes to suspicious people with suspicious IDs.
As the rightful leader, Onew solved the issue by straight out inviting their manager and offering to pay for all his drinks as well as ten rounds of poker. Unsurprisingly, it worked but their manager insisted on an early morning curfew because they had come here to perform, after all. The boys agreed heartily.
They slowly made their way towards the huge pyramid and it didn’t take long before people were pointing at them - not because they were Korean idols, but because they really looked like tourists. Key even had his Polaroid camera hanging from his neck.
They really wanted to get to the sparkly pyramid but were sidetracked by pretty colourful fountains and somehow ended up in the Bellagio. Security at the entrance was a bit tricky: their manager, Onew and Jonghyun were all fine because they were of legal age but Minho had had to use his flaming charisma to convince the bouncer-of-sorts to let him in. The poor guard was fooled by Taemin’s aegyo and mistook him for a girl when Minho put his arm around him. Key resorted to batting his eyelashes a few times and chatting up the guard in English for him to let him pass. The conversation flew right above everyone else’s head and they were sort of really glad for that. (But Jonghyun was frowning a bit because the guard must have been at least twice his height and three times his weight and he did not like that.)
As soon as they all made it inside, Onew spotted the nearest bar and made a beeline for it, followed closely by their (giant) manager who was muttering something about really needing a drink or two or three or many these days because he was SHINee’s freakin’ manager and had to deal with an insane amount of insane fangirls and fanboys on an international scale now that they were circling the globe every week.
Taemin’s attention fell on the never-ending rows of blinking slot machines right next to yet another grand fountain, towards which he dragged a reluctant Minho. Key really wanted to follow them to make sure those girls (waitresses, actually) who were wearing bedazzled bikinis and feather boas and who were carrying trays of abnormally-coloured drinks would stay away from Taemin, the irony being that he looked way better than them in a tight glittery skirt.
Key was about to follow them when Jonghyun grabbed his elbow.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” he so eloquently said. All these fountains were getting to him.
“So?” Key said, eyes still tracing Taemin’s and Minho’s movements, “go by yourself.”
Jonghyun pouted at that.
“But I don’t want to go alone.”
“What are you, a girl?” Key snapped back bitterly because he had just lost track of the maknae and the frog behind a veritable wall of flashing, aneurysm-inducing slot machines.
“I don’t want to get lost.”
Key scoffed at that.
“Fine,” Jonghyun amended, “I don’t want to go alone because those girls are creeping me out.”
A small, evil smile curled Kibum’s lips upwards.
“Because they’re a head taller than you?”
“Shut up.”
Jonghyun grabbed his wrist this time and led them forward, towards the black jack tables but the truth was he had no idea where he was going. Before they knew it, they had been looking for a restroom for half an hour already, constantly ambushed by creepy tall waitresses trying to shove drinks into their hands. One even patted Jonghyun on the head and he was about ready to rage over it when Kibum took a drink from her tray (just to piss the elder off). Jonghyun looked at him in disbelief.
“You don’t even drink,” he said, feeling betrayed.
“So?” Key answered, and Jonghyun couldn’t deny that he had a point.
So he grabbed a drink from the next waitress that passed by and downed it, which was really counter-productive since he had been needing to go to the bathroom for thirty minutes already. Their faces were flushed red by their third drink and they lost count after seven. Locating a bathroom was becoming near-impossible what with the way the entire casino was swaying and it became downright impossible when Key suddenly grabbed Jonghyun by his hair and crushed their mouths together.
Jonghyun really couldn’t complain though because Key’s lips were soft and warm and his tongue tasted like that last shot they’d had. Kibum broke their kiss to giggle because he was really drunk, hanging onto Jonghyun’s jacket and leaning onto his shoulder which really wasn’t a good idea at that moment because Jonghyun’s balance was worse than poor. He stumbled backwards and his back hit a door, which opened and - ironically - led them into a restroom.
Jonghyun was so relieved (pun intended) to see some stalls that he shoved Kibum off of him and rushed to one of them. He heard something bang against the door while he was minding his business, only to open the stall door when he was done and for Kibum to fall inside. Jonghyun caught him awkwardly, Key’s face dangerously close to his crotch and he lifted him upright as best as he could before dragging him towards the marble sinks. He managed to wash his hands (and was very drunkenly proud of himself) even though Kibum was sucking on his neck, but Key then grasped the front of his jacket before he could dry them and pulled him out of the bathroom.
They had no idea how much time they had spent making out right outside of the restroom, but it wasn’t like either of them cared anyway. More drinks were involved and Key may or may not have asked for a vodka martini, shaken not stirred from one of the waitresses.
Jonghyun’s vision was blurring and he vaguely hoped he hadn’t lost his contacts somehow. He was suddenly aware of Kibum pulling him forward again, albeit very crookedly, but that was as far as his consciousness went.
***
The first thing Jonghyun noticed when he woke up was surprisingly not his pounding headache but the soft mattress he was resting on. He tentatively raised his head from the fluffy, suffocating white pillow and had to wait a while until his surroundings stopped spinning before he was able to recognize that he was in a hotel room. He noticed his luggage in a corner and that he was still wearing his clothes from the previous day - he let out a long sigh of relief, flopping back onto the pillow and raising a hand to rub over his eyes with his knuckles. He felt something cold poking into his left eyelid, though, but he didn’t have time to investigate further because he then heard a loud thump in the room next to his, akin to someone falling out of bed. Maybe it was Taemin again, moving around in his sleep Jonghyun thought wistfully.
He was proven wrong when heavy, angry footsteps stopped right outside of his hotel room door, accompanied by a furious voice and raging knocks.
“KIM JONGHYUN!”
Jonghyun froze in his bed; his eyes focused on his hand despite himself and then he wished it were all some strangely realistic drunken dream because there was a silver band on his ring finger and he really wished it weren’t there.
Oh fuck.
Jonghyun stared at his hand for a few long seconds during which Key was still pounding at his door. Jonghyun mentally bid farewell to his loved ones while he got to his feet to answer it.
“WHAT IS THIS?” Key screamed as soon as the door opened, his last word sounding more like a shriek than anything as he waved his left hand in Jonghyun’s face. He looked like a wild buffalo about to charge, which was saying something because he usually looked like some sort of pleased cat.
Jonghyun swallowed thickly.
“Did we really...?”
Key huffed and Jonghyun could only stand aside as he stomped into the hotel room, pacing around on the carpet leaving Jonghyun to shut the door and hope that the entire building hadn’t heard Key yell.
“Wait,” Jonghyun said, more to himself because his mind was reeling, jumping from one distorted memory to the next - had they really... were they actually..?
“Did we get married?” Jonghyun asked, incredulous and still in disbelief although the evidence was blaring at them.
“What do you think?” Key scoffed, voice shrill and border-line screaming again as he looked like he was about to rip his hair out. “Congratu-fucking-lations,” and at that Key whipped out what looked like a cheap certificate written in English but Jonghyun managed to recognize their names on it and for some reason, it made him smile.
“But,” Jonghyun started, smile turning into one of those smirks Key hated, “I thought you said you were too young. We still had ten years to wait.”
“Really? REALLY KIM JONGHYUN?” Key yelled again. “Make another fucking joke about it and I’m drowning your short ass in that fountain in the lobby.”
“Oh, there’s a fountain there too?”
“What does that - ARE YOU FOR REAL?”
Jonghyun went up to Key and placed a hand on his shoulder, which Key promptly shrugged off.
“Yeobo, calm down.”
But Jonghyun’s words fell on deaf ears because Key was too busy trying not to hyperventilate.
“Not. Funny. Whatever the fuck happened, it’s not funny. We are not telling ANYONE about this,” he announced darkly, waving a menacing finger at Jonghyun.
“You can’t remember anything?” Jonghyun asked. He was wracking his mind for any kind of hint but the last thing he remembered was thinking he’d lost his contacts. Well, that and Key kissing the life out of him.
“I remember...” Key started, seeming to calm down a bit as he reminisced and Jonghyun was grateful for that, “I remember... an altar. And complaining that you should have worn your shoe lifts. And better shoes. And a nicer shirt -”
“Okay,” Jonghyun stopped him, getting the message. “Anything else?”
“No,” Key sighed before letting out a frustrated groan and slumping onto the big white bed.
Jonghyun nodded, staring at the carpet and feeling mightily uncomfortable. He had never felt so awkward in his life, which was saying something because he lived with Onew.
“Did we...um, do... anything?” Jonghyun dared to ask because Key seemed to remember more than him.
Key glared at him from beneath his messy bed hair and Jonghyun immediately raised both hands to plead innocent.
“You kissed me first!” he argued. He hadn’t initiated anything, actually. It was even Kibum who’d started drinking first.
Key let out another drawn out moan, clutching his head between his hands and Jonghyun momentarily wondered if it was because of his hangover or because of something he’d said.
“I can’t believe we’re fucking married,” Key whined, unmoving.
It hit Jonghyun then that, yeah, Key was his best friend and had always been and that, yeah, he was sort of really sexy and all and, yeah, Jonghyun sort of really liked him but holy shit now he was his husband.
Just what had they done?
Jonghyun fell onto the bed next to Kibum in an attempt to subdue the panic attack he felt coming.
“Fuck,” was all he said.
“Yeah.”
“What are we going to do?” Jonghyun asked, worry beginning to seep in.
“I don’t know.”
Jonghyun was too absorbed in his own thoughts - thinking about what this meant for him, for them, for SHINee and what they could possibly do about - to notice that tears had started dripping down Key’s face.
He heard him sniffle and his head snapped back up, finally noticing the other cry and all he could do was stare at him with round, surprised eyes. Key’s mood swings were a bit hard to keep up with - he’d looked like he wanted to rip Jonghyun’s head off just minutes ago.
Married or not, Jonghyun did what he always did anyway; he reached over and hugged him.
Key just started crying more.
“What’s wrong?” Jonghyun asked.
Key managed to scoff at him even while crying into his shoulder.
“What’s wrong?” he said, voice high and breaking at the last word.
Okay, that had been a stupid question.
“I’m sorry,” Jonghyun said at once.
Key stared at him for two seconds, teary eyes, runny nose and all before replying with:
“You’re so stupid.”
Jonghyun blinked once, twice.
“I’m still sorry?” he amended, hoping he had said the right thing.
“Just shut up, Jonghyun.” Key wiped his last tears away, decidedly not looking at the other boy.
“Yeobo, if you want this marriage to work you’ll have to talk to me,” he teased, hoping Key wouldn’t start bawling again or that he wouldn’t kick or punch or try to harm him in any way.
“I said shut up.”
Jonghyun let out a breath or relief. He reached over to take Kibum’s hand in his and they both sat there on the bed, in silence.
“This isn’t how I wanted to get married,” Key said eventually, looking incredibly disappointed.
“Look, I said I was sorry, Key,” Jonghyun sighed, “but it really isn’t my fault. It’s our fault - and a bit Onew’s fault - but don’t you dare blame it all on me!”
Key rolled his eyes at him.
“We can get a divorce and it’ll be like it never happened!” Jonghyun reasoned, growing tired of Key’s mood swings. “You’ll be free to marry whoever you want after that. I’m sure it -”
The way Kibum was looking at him was enough to shut Jonghyun up at once.
“God, you’re really stupid,” was all Key said before leaning forward and kissing Jonghyun on the lips. Jonghyun was still a little confused but at the same time he thought he sort of understood, finally, smirking against Key’s lips and letting himself reciprocate the kiss. Key pushed him back onto the mattress before climbing over him and Jonghyun caught himself thinking that maybe marriage wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Key was grinding on top of him when the hotel room door burst open, letting in a smiling Taemin. Key unglued their mouths, scrambling into a less compromising position and was ready to fling a set of expletives at the maknae but Taemin was quicker.
“Relax,” he said with that infuriating little knowing smile of his, “I come with explanations.”
Jonghyun and Key looked at each other and then back at Taemin, who was just standing there, still smiling annoyingly.
“First of all, I’m sorry for interrupting your honey moon.”
“Oh my god, Taemin, not you too,” Key whined, not exactly in a joking mood.
“Alright, alright,” the maknae spoke with somewhat of a mischievous smirk, “so you were both really drunk last night-”
“Really? We had no idea,” Key cut in, sarcastic as ever.
“Shut up, I’m telling a story,” Taemin told him seriously and Key couldn’t help but roll his eyes at that. “So you were really drunk, but you didn’t really get married.”
“W-what?”
“There was a lot of paperwork to fill out,” Taemin shrugged, “it was all in English. And you guys were smashed so you couldn’t even write proper Korean anyway.”
Taemin bend down to pick up the cheap certificate and held it up to them, pointing to a line at the bottom.
“See? It’s not even signed. It’s not official.”
“Wait a minute, how do you know this?” Jonghyun asked.
“Oh,” Taemin said, as though only remembering now, “you sort of ran into me and Minho in the casino - quite literally - and asked us to be witnesses to your wedding.”
There was a short-lived pause.
“LEE TAEMIN!” Key all but growled. Taemin had the right reflex to grab a pillow and shield himself from Key’s wrath.
“WHAT THE HELL YOU DIDN’T EVEN TRY TO STOP US?” he yelled, and Jonghyun’s head was beginning to throb again as Key clawed at the unfortunate pillow, threatening to shred it to pieces.
***
They were on the plane, flying back home. Kibum had made Taemin and Minho swear that they wouldn’t speak a word of what had happened. He didn’t even need to bribe them; he just told them that he would make them impotent if they said anything. They believed him easily.
Jonghyun was sitting next to Key, who was trying to sleep. It was still very much awkward between them.
“I enjoyed thinking I was married to you for twenty minutes, Kibum,” Jonghyun whispered to him.
“Shut the fuck up, Kim.”
“Whatever. You still kissed me first. Twice.”
Key blushed a dark red, but he didn’t say anything when Jonghyun reached over to hold his hand.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: CRACKKKKKKKKKKK
Disclaimer: Yeah... no.
Summary: SHINee’s short trip to Vegas ends in all sorts of social clichés.
A/N: Because SHINee are going to Las Vegas soon and this needed to be done. Now please excuse me while I go hide in this corner.
The plane ride was insanely long - but at least the boys were used to it by now. Planes had become their surrogate beds, in a way. There were no rehearsals, practices, photoshoots, crowds or ninja cameras ten thousand meters above the ground. (Technology had yet to produce commercial cameras that could zoom that far.)
They landed at night, when the city was literally sparkling with lights. Technically, it was late, later than late but time zone worked in their favour for once and none of them were actually tired. They pondered what to do for all of two seconds until Onew reminded them that they were in Vegas. What was there not to do?
They argued about which casino to hit first and ultimately it was a tie between the one with the fake Eiffel Tower and the one with the big black pyramid with a huge light on top that they had seen from the airplane. It was a tie (which was a feat considering they were five) so Kibum solved it by deciding on behalf of everyone.
But then there was the issue of their manager, who wouldn’t let Jonghyun and Onew smuggle three fifths of SHINee into a casino even if they had proper fake IDs (which is an oxymoron, actually) and could all speak decent English. Which Key can, but his choice of dress code (shorts in November, really?) would probably attract attention sooner than later and, well, American security is very serious when it comes to suspicious people with suspicious IDs.
As the rightful leader, Onew solved the issue by straight out inviting their manager and offering to pay for all his drinks as well as ten rounds of poker. Unsurprisingly, it worked but their manager insisted on an early morning curfew because they had come here to perform, after all. The boys agreed heartily.
They slowly made their way towards the huge pyramid and it didn’t take long before people were pointing at them - not because they were Korean idols, but because they really looked like tourists. Key even had his Polaroid camera hanging from his neck.
They really wanted to get to the sparkly pyramid but were sidetracked by pretty colourful fountains and somehow ended up in the Bellagio. Security at the entrance was a bit tricky: their manager, Onew and Jonghyun were all fine because they were of legal age but Minho had had to use his flaming charisma to convince the bouncer-of-sorts to let him in. The poor guard was fooled by Taemin’s aegyo and mistook him for a girl when Minho put his arm around him. Key resorted to batting his eyelashes a few times and chatting up the guard in English for him to let him pass. The conversation flew right above everyone else’s head and they were sort of really glad for that. (But Jonghyun was frowning a bit because the guard must have been at least twice his height and three times his weight and he did not like that.)
As soon as they all made it inside, Onew spotted the nearest bar and made a beeline for it, followed closely by their (giant) manager who was muttering something about really needing a drink or two or three or many these days because he was SHINee’s freakin’ manager and had to deal with an insane amount of insane fangirls and fanboys on an international scale now that they were circling the globe every week.
Taemin’s attention fell on the never-ending rows of blinking slot machines right next to yet another grand fountain, towards which he dragged a reluctant Minho. Key really wanted to follow them to make sure those girls (waitresses, actually) who were wearing bedazzled bikinis and feather boas and who were carrying trays of abnormally-coloured drinks would stay away from Taemin, the irony being that he looked way better than them in a tight glittery skirt.
Key was about to follow them when Jonghyun grabbed his elbow.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” he so eloquently said. All these fountains were getting to him.
“So?” Key said, eyes still tracing Taemin’s and Minho’s movements, “go by yourself.”
Jonghyun pouted at that.
“But I don’t want to go alone.”
“What are you, a girl?” Key snapped back bitterly because he had just lost track of the maknae and the frog behind a veritable wall of flashing, aneurysm-inducing slot machines.
“I don’t want to get lost.”
Key scoffed at that.
“Fine,” Jonghyun amended, “I don’t want to go alone because those girls are creeping me out.”
A small, evil smile curled Kibum’s lips upwards.
“Because they’re a head taller than you?”
“Shut up.”
Jonghyun grabbed his wrist this time and led them forward, towards the black jack tables but the truth was he had no idea where he was going. Before they knew it, they had been looking for a restroom for half an hour already, constantly ambushed by creepy tall waitresses trying to shove drinks into their hands. One even patted Jonghyun on the head and he was about ready to rage over it when Kibum took a drink from her tray (just to piss the elder off). Jonghyun looked at him in disbelief.
“You don’t even drink,” he said, feeling betrayed.
“So?” Key answered, and Jonghyun couldn’t deny that he had a point.
So he grabbed a drink from the next waitress that passed by and downed it, which was really counter-productive since he had been needing to go to the bathroom for thirty minutes already. Their faces were flushed red by their third drink and they lost count after seven. Locating a bathroom was becoming near-impossible what with the way the entire casino was swaying and it became downright impossible when Key suddenly grabbed Jonghyun by his hair and crushed their mouths together.
Jonghyun really couldn’t complain though because Key’s lips were soft and warm and his tongue tasted like that last shot they’d had. Kibum broke their kiss to giggle because he was really drunk, hanging onto Jonghyun’s jacket and leaning onto his shoulder which really wasn’t a good idea at that moment because Jonghyun’s balance was worse than poor. He stumbled backwards and his back hit a door, which opened and - ironically - led them into a restroom.
Jonghyun was so relieved (pun intended) to see some stalls that he shoved Kibum off of him and rushed to one of them. He heard something bang against the door while he was minding his business, only to open the stall door when he was done and for Kibum to fall inside. Jonghyun caught him awkwardly, Key’s face dangerously close to his crotch and he lifted him upright as best as he could before dragging him towards the marble sinks. He managed to wash his hands (and was very drunkenly proud of himself) even though Kibum was sucking on his neck, but Key then grasped the front of his jacket before he could dry them and pulled him out of the bathroom.
They had no idea how much time they had spent making out right outside of the restroom, but it wasn’t like either of them cared anyway. More drinks were involved and Key may or may not have asked for a vodka martini, shaken not stirred from one of the waitresses.
Jonghyun’s vision was blurring and he vaguely hoped he hadn’t lost his contacts somehow. He was suddenly aware of Kibum pulling him forward again, albeit very crookedly, but that was as far as his consciousness went.
***
The first thing Jonghyun noticed when he woke up was surprisingly not his pounding headache but the soft mattress he was resting on. He tentatively raised his head from the fluffy, suffocating white pillow and had to wait a while until his surroundings stopped spinning before he was able to recognize that he was in a hotel room. He noticed his luggage in a corner and that he was still wearing his clothes from the previous day - he let out a long sigh of relief, flopping back onto the pillow and raising a hand to rub over his eyes with his knuckles. He felt something cold poking into his left eyelid, though, but he didn’t have time to investigate further because he then heard a loud thump in the room next to his, akin to someone falling out of bed. Maybe it was Taemin again, moving around in his sleep Jonghyun thought wistfully.
He was proven wrong when heavy, angry footsteps stopped right outside of his hotel room door, accompanied by a furious voice and raging knocks.
“KIM JONGHYUN!”
Jonghyun froze in his bed; his eyes focused on his hand despite himself and then he wished it were all some strangely realistic drunken dream because there was a silver band on his ring finger and he really wished it weren’t there.
Oh fuck.
Jonghyun stared at his hand for a few long seconds during which Key was still pounding at his door. Jonghyun mentally bid farewell to his loved ones while he got to his feet to answer it.
“WHAT IS THIS?” Key screamed as soon as the door opened, his last word sounding more like a shriek than anything as he waved his left hand in Jonghyun’s face. He looked like a wild buffalo about to charge, which was saying something because he usually looked like some sort of pleased cat.
Jonghyun swallowed thickly.
“Did we really...?”
Key huffed and Jonghyun could only stand aside as he stomped into the hotel room, pacing around on the carpet leaving Jonghyun to shut the door and hope that the entire building hadn’t heard Key yell.
“Wait,” Jonghyun said, more to himself because his mind was reeling, jumping from one distorted memory to the next - had they really... were they actually..?
“Did we get married?” Jonghyun asked, incredulous and still in disbelief although the evidence was blaring at them.
“What do you think?” Key scoffed, voice shrill and border-line screaming again as he looked like he was about to rip his hair out. “Congratu-fucking-lations,” and at that Key whipped out what looked like a cheap certificate written in English but Jonghyun managed to recognize their names on it and for some reason, it made him smile.
“But,” Jonghyun started, smile turning into one of those smirks Key hated, “I thought you said you were too young. We still had ten years to wait.”
“Really? REALLY KIM JONGHYUN?” Key yelled again. “Make another fucking joke about it and I’m drowning your short ass in that fountain in the lobby.”
“Oh, there’s a fountain there too?”
“What does that - ARE YOU FOR REAL?”
Jonghyun went up to Key and placed a hand on his shoulder, which Key promptly shrugged off.
“Yeobo, calm down.”
But Jonghyun’s words fell on deaf ears because Key was too busy trying not to hyperventilate.
“Not. Funny. Whatever the fuck happened, it’s not funny. We are not telling ANYONE about this,” he announced darkly, waving a menacing finger at Jonghyun.
“You can’t remember anything?” Jonghyun asked. He was wracking his mind for any kind of hint but the last thing he remembered was thinking he’d lost his contacts. Well, that and Key kissing the life out of him.
“I remember...” Key started, seeming to calm down a bit as he reminisced and Jonghyun was grateful for that, “I remember... an altar. And complaining that you should have worn your shoe lifts. And better shoes. And a nicer shirt -”
“Okay,” Jonghyun stopped him, getting the message. “Anything else?”
“No,” Key sighed before letting out a frustrated groan and slumping onto the big white bed.
Jonghyun nodded, staring at the carpet and feeling mightily uncomfortable. He had never felt so awkward in his life, which was saying something because he lived with Onew.
“Did we...um, do... anything?” Jonghyun dared to ask because Key seemed to remember more than him.
Key glared at him from beneath his messy bed hair and Jonghyun immediately raised both hands to plead innocent.
“You kissed me first!” he argued. He hadn’t initiated anything, actually. It was even Kibum who’d started drinking first.
Key let out another drawn out moan, clutching his head between his hands and Jonghyun momentarily wondered if it was because of his hangover or because of something he’d said.
“I can’t believe we’re fucking married,” Key whined, unmoving.
It hit Jonghyun then that, yeah, Key was his best friend and had always been and that, yeah, he was sort of really sexy and all and, yeah, Jonghyun sort of really liked him but holy shit now he was his husband.
Just what had they done?
Jonghyun fell onto the bed next to Kibum in an attempt to subdue the panic attack he felt coming.
“Fuck,” was all he said.
“Yeah.”
“What are we going to do?” Jonghyun asked, worry beginning to seep in.
“I don’t know.”
Jonghyun was too absorbed in his own thoughts - thinking about what this meant for him, for them, for SHINee and what they could possibly do about - to notice that tears had started dripping down Key’s face.
He heard him sniffle and his head snapped back up, finally noticing the other cry and all he could do was stare at him with round, surprised eyes. Key’s mood swings were a bit hard to keep up with - he’d looked like he wanted to rip Jonghyun’s head off just minutes ago.
Married or not, Jonghyun did what he always did anyway; he reached over and hugged him.
Key just started crying more.
“What’s wrong?” Jonghyun asked.
Key managed to scoff at him even while crying into his shoulder.
“What’s wrong?” he said, voice high and breaking at the last word.
Okay, that had been a stupid question.
“I’m sorry,” Jonghyun said at once.
Key stared at him for two seconds, teary eyes, runny nose and all before replying with:
“You’re so stupid.”
Jonghyun blinked once, twice.
“I’m still sorry?” he amended, hoping he had said the right thing.
“Just shut up, Jonghyun.” Key wiped his last tears away, decidedly not looking at the other boy.
“Yeobo, if you want this marriage to work you’ll have to talk to me,” he teased, hoping Key wouldn’t start bawling again or that he wouldn’t kick or punch or try to harm him in any way.
“I said shut up.”
Jonghyun let out a breath or relief. He reached over to take Kibum’s hand in his and they both sat there on the bed, in silence.
“This isn’t how I wanted to get married,” Key said eventually, looking incredibly disappointed.
“Look, I said I was sorry, Key,” Jonghyun sighed, “but it really isn’t my fault. It’s our fault - and a bit Onew’s fault - but don’t you dare blame it all on me!”
Key rolled his eyes at him.
“We can get a divorce and it’ll be like it never happened!” Jonghyun reasoned, growing tired of Key’s mood swings. “You’ll be free to marry whoever you want after that. I’m sure it -”
The way Kibum was looking at him was enough to shut Jonghyun up at once.
“God, you’re really stupid,” was all Key said before leaning forward and kissing Jonghyun on the lips. Jonghyun was still a little confused but at the same time he thought he sort of understood, finally, smirking against Key’s lips and letting himself reciprocate the kiss. Key pushed him back onto the mattress before climbing over him and Jonghyun caught himself thinking that maybe marriage wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Key was grinding on top of him when the hotel room door burst open, letting in a smiling Taemin. Key unglued their mouths, scrambling into a less compromising position and was ready to fling a set of expletives at the maknae but Taemin was quicker.
“Relax,” he said with that infuriating little knowing smile of his, “I come with explanations.”
Jonghyun and Key looked at each other and then back at Taemin, who was just standing there, still smiling annoyingly.
“First of all, I’m sorry for interrupting your honey moon.”
“Oh my god, Taemin, not you too,” Key whined, not exactly in a joking mood.
“Alright, alright,” the maknae spoke with somewhat of a mischievous smirk, “so you were both really drunk last night-”
“Really? We had no idea,” Key cut in, sarcastic as ever.
“Shut up, I’m telling a story,” Taemin told him seriously and Key couldn’t help but roll his eyes at that. “So you were really drunk, but you didn’t really get married.”
“W-what?”
“There was a lot of paperwork to fill out,” Taemin shrugged, “it was all in English. And you guys were smashed so you couldn’t even write proper Korean anyway.”
Taemin bend down to pick up the cheap certificate and held it up to them, pointing to a line at the bottom.
“See? It’s not even signed. It’s not official.”
“Wait a minute, how do you know this?” Jonghyun asked.
“Oh,” Taemin said, as though only remembering now, “you sort of ran into me and Minho in the casino - quite literally - and asked us to be witnesses to your wedding.”
There was a short-lived pause.
“LEE TAEMIN!” Key all but growled. Taemin had the right reflex to grab a pillow and shield himself from Key’s wrath.
“WHAT THE HELL YOU DIDN’T EVEN TRY TO STOP US?” he yelled, and Jonghyun’s head was beginning to throb again as Key clawed at the unfortunate pillow, threatening to shred it to pieces.
***
They were on the plane, flying back home. Kibum had made Taemin and Minho swear that they wouldn’t speak a word of what had happened. He didn’t even need to bribe them; he just told them that he would make them impotent if they said anything. They believed him easily.
Jonghyun was sitting next to Key, who was trying to sleep. It was still very much awkward between them.
“I enjoyed thinking I was married to you for twenty minutes, Kibum,” Jonghyun whispered to him.
“Shut the fuck up, Kim.”
“Whatever. You still kissed me first. Twice.”
Key blushed a dark red, but he didn’t say anything when Jonghyun reached over to hold his hand.