Dinah Jo Dixon wasn't a Christian, but she agreed with the Christian notion that the dead could rise. The only difference was that Christians thought that a ghost was holy; Dinah thought that a ghost was a nuisance. But she believed that she would know how to get rid of one if she ever saw one: That's why Prudence Shepherd came to ( Read more... )

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"Stop playing stupid with me, Patti!" Mercy Simmons screamed at Patti Perkins.
"You tell me right now if you paid for that pudding cup! Yes or No?"

Mercy was clad in a checkered flannel sports-coat with broad shoulder pads. She towered over Patti with her arms arched and her hands on her hips.
                  ( Read more... )

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Directions to the Unemployment Office:
Take a left at the Pawn Shop, past the Mexican restaurant murder scene,
Past the woman who reads palms on her screened-in front porch.
Turn right when you see the Asian spa:
It's right across from the Strip Club.

The workers at the Unemployment Office were surprisingly helpful and cheerful despite being civil ( Read more... )

Words of Advice:

1) Be leery of answering advertisements for customer service jobs, especially if you don't have your college degree yet.
You just might get swindled into attending an interview at a fly-by-night marketing agency where a chatty receptionist sits at a work station that lacks a computer or anything else resembling office equipment, ( Read more... )

"There is no religious denomination in which the misuse of metaphysical expressions has been responsible for so much sin as it has in mathematics."

Ludwig Wittgenstein "Culture and Value" (1929)

Dinah Jo Dixon always sermonized to her coworkers as she sat from atop a bicycle rack outside Mammon Mart. She would take long drags off her extremely long cigarettes as she told parables of her past life.

Dinah Jo Dixon shot her first husband.
                They weren't married very long before ( Read more... )

Tawny Truesdale was a morbidly obese mountain of a woman. Her mouth was devoid of so many teeth that when she smiled her face resembled a large carved pumpkin with a double chin. The few teeth that still remained in her mouth were jagged formations like stalactites and stalagmites found in caves.
            She used to work at Mammon ( Read more... )

In the Zeitgeist of "Yacht Rock", soft rock infomercials, and Louisville DJ Kim Sorise, I'm trying to imagine a song list for a mix called:

SILLY BUT SATISFYING SONGS OF THE 70s:

Burning Love (Elvis)
Mustang Sally (Wilson Pickett)
Spirit in the Sky (Norman Greenbaum)
Jackie Blue (Ozark Mt. Daredevils)
Hello it's Me (Todd Rundgren)
Summer-breeze (Seals ( Read more... )