Turning Point - Rewind 14/?
Title: Turning Point - Rewind 14/?
Rating: 15 maybe?
Characters: Jack/Ianto, Captain John
Chapters: Sequel to “Memories Keep You Near.”
Spoilers: Anything Torchwood could be hinted at.
Summary: As Parallel Jack becomes more like Ianto’s Jack, the real Jack descends back into the man he once was.
Disclaimer: Regrettably I own nothing, none of the characters, zip. Wish I did though.
Author’s Notes: This chapter is all Jack, Jack, Jack, alternate and real. Just warning you there :P Although there is a little Ianto too (because I can’t resist him…). Anyways, a huge thanks to all the lovely people attempting to follow rewind, and to my much adored beta 2nd_toshiko . And as always, any comments are loved and adored. Thank you :)
Chapter One: So Much For My Happy Ending
Chapter Two: Lost But Not Found
Chapter Three: Call Me When You’re Sober
Chapter Four: In The Cold Light Of Morning
Chapter Five: Remember Me
Chapter Six: Chasing Parallels
Chapter Seven: Who Am I?
Chapter Eight: I love you, I’ll kill you
Chapter Nine: Where Have The Good Men Gone?
Chapter Ten: Sleeping With The Enemy
Chapter Eleven: Cross Roads
Chapter Twelve: My Past, Your Future, Our Present
Chapter Thirteen: Memories Keep You Near
Dedicated to the amazing 2nd_toshiko and naddypants , for keeping rewind, winding on :P
They didn’t trust him anymore. It was obvious. He wasn’t paranoid; he’d seen the evidence for himself. Watched as Tosh had lead him into the open plan living room and sat him down on the sofa with a glass of water. Seen Owen take all the alcohol out of the kitchen, bundle it into a cardboard box and take it out to lock it in their car. Felt as Tosh patted his hand, smiling sweetly. “We just want to keep you safe, Jack, yeah?”
It was official. Jack Harkness was a danger unto himself.
“You don’t have to treat me like a recovering alcoholic.” Jack said as Tosh dropped a duvet and pillow onto the sofa next to him. “I’m not going to do it again.”
“We don’t want to take that risk again, Jack.” Tosh smiled, sitting beside him, her eyes trying to understand.
“What risk? I can’t fucking die, Tosh! What the hell am I going to do to myself?” Jack’s voice was barely a whisper, but the contempt within it was clear.
“We know that, Jack.”
“Then why are we having this conversation?”
“Because we care, Jack.” Tosh’s voice was saddened, almost hurt. “I guess that’s not enough for you anymore is it?”
“What good has caring ever done?” Jack wasn’t even aware of the anger in his voice, the way that he could no longer control it. He needed to take his anger out on someone, anyone who would listen. And the gentle Toshiko Sato was the closest person to get in the way.
“So what do you want us to do, Jack? Do you want us to pretend that you’d don’t exist.”
“I don’t exist. Not anymore.”
“Have you heard yourself?!” Tosh hissed, standing up, putting as much distance as possible between them. “Is this what Ianto would want?”
“That doesn’t matter though does it, Tosh? He’s gone, he’ll never even see me again.”
“We don’t know that, Jack!”
“Don’t patronise me! Jack’s voice was louder, bitterness forcing its way free from his mouth. “There’s no way I can get him back now, and there’s nothing I can do about it!”
“Jack, you need to calm down. You’re not doing yourself any good like this! Can’t you see that? How much it’s hurting us all to see you like this?”
“How much you’re hurting? Tosh, I’ve lost the love of my life, I’ve got nothing now!”
“Sure, Jack.” Her voice was low, disappointed as she backed away from him, her eyes still level with his. “I just want you to remember one thing. You’re not the only one who’s lost something.”
Some things are meant to gather dust, meant to lie dormant and forgotten. If not forgotten, they must at least lie far away, locked in the deepest recesses of the mind, only thought about when absolutely necessary. The last eighteen years of Jack’s life had been locked away like that, although they were in a box, dust gathered on the lid dating back to the three years since he’d shut them away in there. Three years since he’d locked himself in this time, living the life that he had now chosen. Three years since that day in the Vegas galaxies, three years since he’d thought that his life had ended.
Pulling the box out from underneath his bed, Jack dusted off the lid with his hand, a grey film covering his skin. Shaking it off, he reached across to his bed side table, grabbing the nearest cigarette and lighting it hastily, taking deep breaths of smoke, feeling the nicotine sooth him. Pausing, he looked down at the cigarette in his hand; watching plumes of smoke escape the end and dissipate into the air around him. Why did he need this? He arched his brow, twiddling the tubular object between his fingers, cursing as the hot ash caught part of his skin. He stubbed it out in disgust, something he’d not done in so long. Was he changing? He didn’t know, all he did know was that things had never been the same since Ianto Jones had come into his life.
Sitting cross legged in the middle of the bed, Jack brought John’s wrist strap onto his lap, examining it again. It almost hurt him to look at the fried circuitry, blackened and charred, especially when the scale of the technology would have been so beautiful before hand. Reaching into the box, he pulled out his own wrist strap, which had been lying neglected ever since he had shut it away in there. The technology was amazing compared to his own, so neat and intricate. The Captain sighed, pulling out a magnifying glass from the box as well as a laser cutter. He began to slowly snip away at the wiring and the soldering, carefully removing each component and lying them neatly beside him on the box lid. He would be methodical, check and repair everything in return. He was going to fix it if it killed him, because deep down he knew he could do this. Knew that he had to do this. He was going to help Ianto Jones go back home, not only for himself, but for lost love everywhere. He was no saint, but he was neither malicious enough to wish that pain on anyone else.
“Jack?!” There was a voice at his front door, shaking the Captain’s concentration, making him drop the laser cutter, hissing as the edge of it cut his hand. Turning it off quickly, he felt his palm begin to sting, the pain becoming sharper and sharper. He groaned, standing up and making his way out to the door, clasping his hand tightly around the affected palm. “Jack! You in there?” The voice grew louder, more desperate as he finally un did the latch, opening it harshly.
“Jones?” He paused, looking at the young man before him, scanning his face for emotion. He looked more like the man that he had first met, clean and wearing the same suit. “What are you doing here?”
“Nowhere else to go.” The Welshman shrugged, giving him a nervous smile. “You don’t mind do you?”
“Well, I don’t usually have visitors…” Jack sighed, releasing his grip on his hands, looking at the blood that was now steadily flowing from the wound.
“You’re bleeding?” Ianto took a step forward, talking Jack off guard as he took his hand in his, holding his palm up to face him. “That’s deep. We need to get it sorted.”
“We?”
“Just shut it and let me in.”
Barely a moment later, Jack found himself sat on the sofa, hand held out, cupped by Ianto’s soft hands. It was palm upwards, the younger man pressing a cold, damp cloth to the wound, suppressing the blood and for the most part, the pain.
“I can do that for myself.” He grunted softly, although he made no move to move his hand away.
“I want to help.” Blue eyes grazed blue eyes as Ianto met his gaze, smiling softly, his face so warm. “Is that wrong?”
“I’m not used to help.”
“Doesn’t mean you don’t want it.”
“You’re stubborn aren’t you?”
“So I’ve been told.” The younger man paused, lifting off the cloth and examining the now pink cut, a deep slash across the wrinkled skin. “This needs a bandage.”
“It’ll be fine. I cut it on a laser cutter, it’ll be pretty clean.”
“It can still get infected. Do you have any?”
“Do I look like a bandages kind of guy?” Jack chuckled softly, peering at the cut himself.
“You never change.” Reaching into his pocket, Ianto pulled out a handkerchief, wrapping it gently across Jack’s palm, before tying the excess into a tight knot. “That should do for now.” He grinned, locking eyes with the Captain. “You’ll live.”
“Thanks, Doctor Jones.” Jack paused, raising one eyebrow inquisitively. “Do you take this much care of me in your world?”
“I like to think so.”
“No wonder I love you.” The older man sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Though, I still don’t understand, what made you come here?”
“Like I said, nowhere else to go.”
“What about John?”
“Me and John have spent far too long together for now.”
“You mean…..-”
“No! God no!” Ianto laughed, although his heart knew how close it had been. “We’re not sleeping together, if that’s what you mean.”
“Good.”
“It is?”
“Er yeah….” This time it was Jack’s turn to be hiding something. “Don’t want you betraying your Jack, eh?”
“I’m trying not to think like that right now.” Ianto forced a smile, leaning back also. “You want to know why I really came here?”
“Of course.”
“I wanted to apologise.”
“For what?”
“For what happened that time at the docks. The way I lost control. You didn’t deserve that.” He paused, looking away embarrassed.
“No I didn’t, but I’m glad you told me all that.”
“You are? Why?”
“Because I needed to know. I knew something was different, that something wasn’t right, and it scared me. There’s a lot of people from my past that I’d like to forget, and a lot I have forgotten, and I was terrified of you being one of them. But I think you needed to lose control, because it made you realise who I wasn’t.” Jack smiled, trying to reassure the younger man. “I’m never going to be your Jack.”
“I know that now. I mean I knew it before but-”
“I know, Jones.” Tentatively the Captain reached out with his bandaged hand, resting it on the younger man’s shoulder. “There’s nothing to explain to me.”
“Thank you.” Ianto nodded, finally able to look Jack in the eye once again. “I needed you to forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive.”
“But still. Thank you.” As Ianto looked into Jack’s eyes, he found what he was looking for. For too long he’d been searching them effortlessly for a trace of his Jack, for the essence of the man whom he loved. It had killed him not to be able to find it, made him want to scream and holler and yell until the whole world stopped and helped him look. But now, Ianto was able to feel comforted by the other man’s gaze, by his presence, because he now knew that what he’d been looking for wasn’t there, it was never going to be there. And at last, Ianto felt at peace with that.
But with this new found peace came sadness. Once his mind was settled, Ianto’s thoughts reverted back to Lowri, back to the goodbye that he had never dreamed he’d ever have to say. Back to the empty promises he’d made his beautiful sister, the lies that he’d told his niece. She was so innocent, and he’d lied to her. They’d been so happy, so excited about their next meeting, the meeting that would never come despite how much Ianto wished it could. And he had no one to share this with, no one to spill out all this emotion to.
“Hey….” Jack said softly, noticing the tears fall down Ianto’s cheeks. “What did I do?”
“Nothing.” The young Welshman whimpered, sniffing hard. “It’s nothing to do with you.”
“Then what is it?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“You’re pretty quick to tell me what I want.” The Captain laughed, forcing Ianto to look into his eyes. “Tell me. I want to listen.”
So that was what Ianto did. He told Jack everything, he told him about the car crash, about the memories of his sister that he had cherished for so long. He told him all about how he’d met with her that day, against John’s advice, and how happy, how complete he’d felt for those few precious hours. He’d repeated the lies he’d told, explained there goodbye, told of how he felt his emotions ripping through his body as he left them. And Jack listened, without interrupting, his attention focused on Ianto. At the end of it all, there were no warm, strong arms around his shoulders, no soft kisses to his forehead like there had been with his Jack, but that wasn’t what Ianto needed. Right then, all he needed was someone who would hear him. And, in such a lonely world, Ianto found that in the Captain that was never going to be his……..
So a Jack medley with a side helping of Ianto? Yes? Ok, so another thoughtful chapter here, as we draw on with rewind. (More than half way through I think folks!) Anyways, as always, I would love to know what you think, so if you can, drop us a comment! :D Thanks!
Just Being Me
xxxxx
Click here for the next chapter, Rediscovery
Rating: 15 maybe?
Characters: Jack/Ianto, Captain John
Chapters: Sequel to “Memories Keep You Near.”
Spoilers: Anything Torchwood could be hinted at.
Summary: As Parallel Jack becomes more like Ianto’s Jack, the real Jack descends back into the man he once was.
Disclaimer: Regrettably I own nothing, none of the characters, zip. Wish I did though.
Author’s Notes: This chapter is all Jack, Jack, Jack, alternate and real. Just warning you there :P Although there is a little Ianto too (because I can’t resist him…). Anyways, a huge thanks to all the lovely people attempting to follow rewind, and to my much adored beta 2nd_toshiko . And as always, any comments are loved and adored. Thank you :)
Chapter One: So Much For My Happy Ending
Chapter Two: Lost But Not Found
Chapter Three: Call Me When You’re Sober
Chapter Four: In The Cold Light Of Morning
Chapter Five: Remember Me
Chapter Six: Chasing Parallels
Chapter Seven: Who Am I?
Chapter Eight: I love you, I’ll kill you
Chapter Nine: Where Have The Good Men Gone?
Chapter Ten: Sleeping With The Enemy
Chapter Eleven: Cross Roads
Chapter Twelve: My Past, Your Future, Our Present
Chapter Thirteen: Memories Keep You Near
Dedicated to the amazing 2nd_toshiko and naddypants , for keeping rewind, winding on :P
They didn’t trust him anymore. It was obvious. He wasn’t paranoid; he’d seen the evidence for himself. Watched as Tosh had lead him into the open plan living room and sat him down on the sofa with a glass of water. Seen Owen take all the alcohol out of the kitchen, bundle it into a cardboard box and take it out to lock it in their car. Felt as Tosh patted his hand, smiling sweetly. “We just want to keep you safe, Jack, yeah?”
It was official. Jack Harkness was a danger unto himself.
“You don’t have to treat me like a recovering alcoholic.” Jack said as Tosh dropped a duvet and pillow onto the sofa next to him. “I’m not going to do it again.”
“We don’t want to take that risk again, Jack.” Tosh smiled, sitting beside him, her eyes trying to understand.
“What risk? I can’t fucking die, Tosh! What the hell am I going to do to myself?” Jack’s voice was barely a whisper, but the contempt within it was clear.
“We know that, Jack.”
“Then why are we having this conversation?”
“Because we care, Jack.” Tosh’s voice was saddened, almost hurt. “I guess that’s not enough for you anymore is it?”
“What good has caring ever done?” Jack wasn’t even aware of the anger in his voice, the way that he could no longer control it. He needed to take his anger out on someone, anyone who would listen. And the gentle Toshiko Sato was the closest person to get in the way.
“So what do you want us to do, Jack? Do you want us to pretend that you’d don’t exist.”
“I don’t exist. Not anymore.”
“Have you heard yourself?!” Tosh hissed, standing up, putting as much distance as possible between them. “Is this what Ianto would want?”
“That doesn’t matter though does it, Tosh? He’s gone, he’ll never even see me again.”
“We don’t know that, Jack!”
“Don’t patronise me! Jack’s voice was louder, bitterness forcing its way free from his mouth. “There’s no way I can get him back now, and there’s nothing I can do about it!”
“Jack, you need to calm down. You’re not doing yourself any good like this! Can’t you see that? How much it’s hurting us all to see you like this?”
“How much you’re hurting? Tosh, I’ve lost the love of my life, I’ve got nothing now!”
“Sure, Jack.” Her voice was low, disappointed as she backed away from him, her eyes still level with his. “I just want you to remember one thing. You’re not the only one who’s lost something.”
Some things are meant to gather dust, meant to lie dormant and forgotten. If not forgotten, they must at least lie far away, locked in the deepest recesses of the mind, only thought about when absolutely necessary. The last eighteen years of Jack’s life had been locked away like that, although they were in a box, dust gathered on the lid dating back to the three years since he’d shut them away in there. Three years since he’d locked himself in this time, living the life that he had now chosen. Three years since that day in the Vegas galaxies, three years since he’d thought that his life had ended.
Pulling the box out from underneath his bed, Jack dusted off the lid with his hand, a grey film covering his skin. Shaking it off, he reached across to his bed side table, grabbing the nearest cigarette and lighting it hastily, taking deep breaths of smoke, feeling the nicotine sooth him. Pausing, he looked down at the cigarette in his hand; watching plumes of smoke escape the end and dissipate into the air around him. Why did he need this? He arched his brow, twiddling the tubular object between his fingers, cursing as the hot ash caught part of his skin. He stubbed it out in disgust, something he’d not done in so long. Was he changing? He didn’t know, all he did know was that things had never been the same since Ianto Jones had come into his life.
Sitting cross legged in the middle of the bed, Jack brought John’s wrist strap onto his lap, examining it again. It almost hurt him to look at the fried circuitry, blackened and charred, especially when the scale of the technology would have been so beautiful before hand. Reaching into the box, he pulled out his own wrist strap, which had been lying neglected ever since he had shut it away in there. The technology was amazing compared to his own, so neat and intricate. The Captain sighed, pulling out a magnifying glass from the box as well as a laser cutter. He began to slowly snip away at the wiring and the soldering, carefully removing each component and lying them neatly beside him on the box lid. He would be methodical, check and repair everything in return. He was going to fix it if it killed him, because deep down he knew he could do this. Knew that he had to do this. He was going to help Ianto Jones go back home, not only for himself, but for lost love everywhere. He was no saint, but he was neither malicious enough to wish that pain on anyone else.
“Jack?!” There was a voice at his front door, shaking the Captain’s concentration, making him drop the laser cutter, hissing as the edge of it cut his hand. Turning it off quickly, he felt his palm begin to sting, the pain becoming sharper and sharper. He groaned, standing up and making his way out to the door, clasping his hand tightly around the affected palm. “Jack! You in there?” The voice grew louder, more desperate as he finally un did the latch, opening it harshly.
“Jones?” He paused, looking at the young man before him, scanning his face for emotion. He looked more like the man that he had first met, clean and wearing the same suit. “What are you doing here?”
“Nowhere else to go.” The Welshman shrugged, giving him a nervous smile. “You don’t mind do you?”
“Well, I don’t usually have visitors…” Jack sighed, releasing his grip on his hands, looking at the blood that was now steadily flowing from the wound.
“You’re bleeding?” Ianto took a step forward, talking Jack off guard as he took his hand in his, holding his palm up to face him. “That’s deep. We need to get it sorted.”
“We?”
“Just shut it and let me in.”
Barely a moment later, Jack found himself sat on the sofa, hand held out, cupped by Ianto’s soft hands. It was palm upwards, the younger man pressing a cold, damp cloth to the wound, suppressing the blood and for the most part, the pain.
“I can do that for myself.” He grunted softly, although he made no move to move his hand away.
“I want to help.” Blue eyes grazed blue eyes as Ianto met his gaze, smiling softly, his face so warm. “Is that wrong?”
“I’m not used to help.”
“Doesn’t mean you don’t want it.”
“You’re stubborn aren’t you?”
“So I’ve been told.” The younger man paused, lifting off the cloth and examining the now pink cut, a deep slash across the wrinkled skin. “This needs a bandage.”
“It’ll be fine. I cut it on a laser cutter, it’ll be pretty clean.”
“It can still get infected. Do you have any?”
“Do I look like a bandages kind of guy?” Jack chuckled softly, peering at the cut himself.
“You never change.” Reaching into his pocket, Ianto pulled out a handkerchief, wrapping it gently across Jack’s palm, before tying the excess into a tight knot. “That should do for now.” He grinned, locking eyes with the Captain. “You’ll live.”
“Thanks, Doctor Jones.” Jack paused, raising one eyebrow inquisitively. “Do you take this much care of me in your world?”
“I like to think so.”
“No wonder I love you.” The older man sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Though, I still don’t understand, what made you come here?”
“Like I said, nowhere else to go.”
“What about John?”
“Me and John have spent far too long together for now.”
“You mean…..-”
“No! God no!” Ianto laughed, although his heart knew how close it had been. “We’re not sleeping together, if that’s what you mean.”
“Good.”
“It is?”
“Er yeah….” This time it was Jack’s turn to be hiding something. “Don’t want you betraying your Jack, eh?”
“I’m trying not to think like that right now.” Ianto forced a smile, leaning back also. “You want to know why I really came here?”
“Of course.”
“I wanted to apologise.”
“For what?”
“For what happened that time at the docks. The way I lost control. You didn’t deserve that.” He paused, looking away embarrassed.
“No I didn’t, but I’m glad you told me all that.”
“You are? Why?”
“Because I needed to know. I knew something was different, that something wasn’t right, and it scared me. There’s a lot of people from my past that I’d like to forget, and a lot I have forgotten, and I was terrified of you being one of them. But I think you needed to lose control, because it made you realise who I wasn’t.” Jack smiled, trying to reassure the younger man. “I’m never going to be your Jack.”
“I know that now. I mean I knew it before but-”
“I know, Jones.” Tentatively the Captain reached out with his bandaged hand, resting it on the younger man’s shoulder. “There’s nothing to explain to me.”
“Thank you.” Ianto nodded, finally able to look Jack in the eye once again. “I needed you to forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive.”
“But still. Thank you.” As Ianto looked into Jack’s eyes, he found what he was looking for. For too long he’d been searching them effortlessly for a trace of his Jack, for the essence of the man whom he loved. It had killed him not to be able to find it, made him want to scream and holler and yell until the whole world stopped and helped him look. But now, Ianto was able to feel comforted by the other man’s gaze, by his presence, because he now knew that what he’d been looking for wasn’t there, it was never going to be there. And at last, Ianto felt at peace with that.
But with this new found peace came sadness. Once his mind was settled, Ianto’s thoughts reverted back to Lowri, back to the goodbye that he had never dreamed he’d ever have to say. Back to the empty promises he’d made his beautiful sister, the lies that he’d told his niece. She was so innocent, and he’d lied to her. They’d been so happy, so excited about their next meeting, the meeting that would never come despite how much Ianto wished it could. And he had no one to share this with, no one to spill out all this emotion to.
“Hey….” Jack said softly, noticing the tears fall down Ianto’s cheeks. “What did I do?”
“Nothing.” The young Welshman whimpered, sniffing hard. “It’s nothing to do with you.”
“Then what is it?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“You’re pretty quick to tell me what I want.” The Captain laughed, forcing Ianto to look into his eyes. “Tell me. I want to listen.”
So that was what Ianto did. He told Jack everything, he told him about the car crash, about the memories of his sister that he had cherished for so long. He told him all about how he’d met with her that day, against John’s advice, and how happy, how complete he’d felt for those few precious hours. He’d repeated the lies he’d told, explained there goodbye, told of how he felt his emotions ripping through his body as he left them. And Jack listened, without interrupting, his attention focused on Ianto. At the end of it all, there were no warm, strong arms around his shoulders, no soft kisses to his forehead like there had been with his Jack, but that wasn’t what Ianto needed. Right then, all he needed was someone who would hear him. And, in such a lonely world, Ianto found that in the Captain that was never going to be his……..
So a Jack medley with a side helping of Ianto? Yes? Ok, so another thoughtful chapter here, as we draw on with rewind. (More than half way through I think folks!) Anyways, as always, I would love to know what you think, so if you can, drop us a comment! :D Thanks!
Just Being Me
xxxxx
Click here for the next chapter, Rediscovery