Memories Keep You Near - Rewind 13/?
Title: Memories Keep You Near - Rewind 13/?
Rating: 15 maybe?
Characters: Jack/Ianto, Captain John
Chapters: Sequel to “My Past, Your Future, Our Present.”
Spoilers: Anything Torchwood could be hinted at.
Summary: Ianto comes face to face with the memories that he’s lost. But is it all a big mistake?
Disclaimer: Regrettably I own nothing, none of the characters, zip. Wish I did though. Loretta belongs to 2nd_toshiko and naddypants, for sticking with me through out this series! You are both made of win! :D
Apprehension. The fearful expectation or anticipation. Why could he hear Mr. Dore, his bedraggled and rather eccentric English teacher rattling on at him at a time like this? Ianto shook his head, shaking his past from it like cobwebs, or at least that was what he hoped he was doing. He felt sick, he could almost feel the dopamine throb at his synapses, feel it speed up his heart rate and make his breathing erratic. Ducking into a closed shop doorway, he looked at himself in the glass, wiping the sweat from his forehead, straightening out his shirt. He really wished that he’d been able to change, the garish red shirt clinging too tightly to his body for this time of day. Running his hands through his hair, he took a deep breath in. Wiping the palms of his hands across the denim of his jeans, he shook his shoulders, feeling the muscles across his back loosen. He exhaled; the cool rush of oxygen hitting his head. He didn’t know what scared him more, seeing his sister again, or becoming too scared that he’d lose her….
Stepping inside the little corner coffee shop was a dream, the heavenly rich scent glossing over him as he looked around. A smiling face waved across from the other side of the room, inside one of the beech booths with cream cushions that sat nestled by the window. He felt himself grin and wave in return, familiar blue eyes meeting with his own.
“You never told me that you owned the coffee shop!” He laughed, sitting opposite Lowri, watching in amusement as her daughter sat beside her, fingers drawing pictures in the spilt sugar on the table.
“Nice to see you too!” Lowri smiled in return, sliding the menu to him. “Sorry, I have this little terror with me by the way!” She chuckled, ruffling Loretta’s soft blonde hair. “Order anything that you’d like. It’s on the house.”
“You sure?” Ianto’s eyes flicked across the menu, his mind filling with all of the tempting sounding concoctions. “You know what, though? I think I could just kill for a cup of proper coffee.”
“How do you take it?”
“Strong, dash of cream and just a pinch of-”
“Cinnamon?” Lowri smirked across the table, raising one eyebrow. “Sorry, but that’s just how I drink it.”
“Me too.”
“Great.” She paused, waving her hand to one of the staff behind the counter. “Hey, Melanie! Couldn’t get me two mugs of my usual, could you? Maybe a glass of chocolate milk for Lottie too?”
“Table service, eh?” Ianto quipped.
“Only the best here. Besides, I pay them enough.”
“Mummy!” Loretta suddenly squealed, watching in horror as Lowri put her elbow straight onto her sugar picture. “You’ve spoiled it!”
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” Leaning over so he could see better, Ianto pointed down to the faint white lines of sugar. “See here? Doesn’t that look like a cat?”
“Oh, wow!!!” Loretta gasped, her imagination making the flicks of sugar into a tabby, with a big fat stomach and huge ears.
“See? I think mummy’s done a great job.” Ianto looked up, still smiling, eyes meeting with Lowri’s.
“You’re so good with her.” She paused, passing Ianto his coffee as Melanie placed them down onto the table. “You sure you don’t have any kids?”
“None that I know of.” Ianto joked, although his heart felt betrayed by his words. It couldn’t so easily forget the times he’d talked about it, with Lisa, with Jack….. “I guess I’m just a big kid at heart.”
“I’ve always loved kids.” Lowri nodded in agreement, sipping at her coffee slowly. “When my little brother was born, I was so excited. I was eight, I remember it like yesterday, when my mum brought him home, and he wouldn’t stop crying unless I held him.” She stopped, her mind obviously drifting. “I’m sorry, I’m rambling…”
“No.” Ianto was quick to let her continue, renewed memories appearing refreshed in his mind. “I’m interested.”
“You are?” She looked at him sceptically.
“I had a big sister once.”
“You did? What happened to her?”
“She died. A car accident.” Lumps were already forming in his throat, pulling their way up from his chest.
“I’m sorry.” A soft hand reached out and gently rested on his. “There’s nothing worse is there?”
“No, although I barely remember her. I was very young.”
“I’m the opposite.” Lowri sighed, looking down intently at the table top. “I remember too much. I have all these memories, taking him to the park, watching him feed the ducks. It was funny, he used to sit there and talk to them, he always used to say-”
“I’ll be back tomorrow, mister quackers.” Ianto was too lost in the flashback to realise what he’d said, or even the fact that he’d said it aloud.
“Yes…..” Lowri paused, her eyes staring intently into his. “How do you know that?”
“I…..I don’t. Was just something I used to say when I was little. From a TV programme I think.” Ianto’s mind was a blur, as he struggled to cover his tracks, hurt and curiosity such a dangerous combination. John was right. This was all wrong….
“I better be going.” He nodded, attempting to stand, to edge his way out of the booth.
“So soon? But you only just got here.”
“I’ve made you feel uncomfortable….I’m sorry, I never meant to.”
“Don’t be daft.” Lowri laughed her smile so familiar even though her face was so many years older. “Look, we started on a bit of a morbid note, eh? Shall we start again?”
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
Really great coffee and only the warmth that good company could bring. That was what Ianto had become accustomed to back in his old life, whether it was the coffee with Jack on a Sunday morning, of the coffee that he and Tosh would share when it was only them at the Hub. It was special, intimate, time that he could only share with those that he cared for the most. And it had been the one thing that besides Jack, he had missed in the cold new world.
“Oh, you do remind me of my David!” Lowri guffawed, almost choking on the piece of cake she’d half eaten. “He used to say sarcastic things like that!”
“Daddy used to be funny.” Loretta chipped in, clinging to the teddy that had previously be sat next to her. His fur was dog eared, yet well loved. “He used to fly as well, didn’t he mummy?” She tugged eagerly at her mother’s arm, face lit up. “Tell Ianto about it.”
“Yes sweetheart.” Lowri pulled her daughter closer, gaze meeting with Ianto’s again. “David was a pilot.” She nodded solemnly.
“Jack was in the RAF once upon a time.” Ianto felt himself say, more on autopilot more than anything else.
“Jack?”
“My partner.”
“The one you separated with?”
“Yes.” Ianto swallowed hard, almost hiding behind his coffee mug. “It wasn’t our choice though.”
“How do you mean?”
“We didn’t separate on purpose.” Ianto paused, desperately searching for the words with which to explain himself. “I suppose work got in the way.”
“Oh…..I see….” Lowri paused, looking unsure. “What was he like?”
“Imagine the most incredible man you’ve ever met.” Ianto smiled, draining the rest of the coffee from his mug. “That’s Jack.”
It had to end, Ianto knew that. Lowri had to get back to work; she had a life here, unlike him. He said his goodbyes to them both, getting a hug from little Loretta, resisting the urge to kiss his niece goodbye. He promised to stay in contact, to ring Lowri the next time he had the chance so that they could do it again. But he knew it was a promise he couldn’t keep even if he tried to. He knew that he’d never see them again.
Walking away, Ianto let himself indulge in a soft sob, something that he had done all too many times. John had been so right, he given himself ties to this world, made himself part of it. Whatever happened now, he was going to lose something, whether it be Jack or whether it be Lowri and Loretta. Ianto felt his heart ripped in two, happy that his sister was successful, that she had a daughter that brought light into her life, she was living and she was content. But by seeing all that, he had reminded himself of the dear sister he’d lost, given himself fresh memories which he now would have to grieve over. To him, she would always be the amazing Lowri Jones, the best big sister a boy could ask for. To her, he would be that mysterious Ianto Harkness, the man who came into her life as quickly as he has left it. She’d never hear from him again…..
Ok, so not much Jack here, but I was having a Ianto moment. Lots more Jack in the next chapter I promise. But as ever, your comments keep me going with this fic, so if you’ve got the time, give me a comment! Thanks :D
Just Being Me
xxxxx
Click here for the next chapter, Turning Point
Rating: 15 maybe?
Characters: Jack/Ianto, Captain John
Chapters: Sequel to “My Past, Your Future, Our Present.”
Spoilers: Anything Torchwood could be hinted at.
Summary: Ianto comes face to face with the memories that he’s lost. But is it all a big mistake?
Disclaimer: Regrettably I own nothing, none of the characters, zip. Wish I did though. Loretta belongs to 2nd_toshiko and naddypants, for sticking with me through out this series! You are both made of win! :D
Apprehension. The fearful expectation or anticipation. Why could he hear Mr. Dore, his bedraggled and rather eccentric English teacher rattling on at him at a time like this? Ianto shook his head, shaking his past from it like cobwebs, or at least that was what he hoped he was doing. He felt sick, he could almost feel the dopamine throb at his synapses, feel it speed up his heart rate and make his breathing erratic. Ducking into a closed shop doorway, he looked at himself in the glass, wiping the sweat from his forehead, straightening out his shirt. He really wished that he’d been able to change, the garish red shirt clinging too tightly to his body for this time of day. Running his hands through his hair, he took a deep breath in. Wiping the palms of his hands across the denim of his jeans, he shook his shoulders, feeling the muscles across his back loosen. He exhaled; the cool rush of oxygen hitting his head. He didn’t know what scared him more, seeing his sister again, or becoming too scared that he’d lose her….
Stepping inside the little corner coffee shop was a dream, the heavenly rich scent glossing over him as he looked around. A smiling face waved across from the other side of the room, inside one of the beech booths with cream cushions that sat nestled by the window. He felt himself grin and wave in return, familiar blue eyes meeting with his own.
“You never told me that you owned the coffee shop!” He laughed, sitting opposite Lowri, watching in amusement as her daughter sat beside her, fingers drawing pictures in the spilt sugar on the table.
“Nice to see you too!” Lowri smiled in return, sliding the menu to him. “Sorry, I have this little terror with me by the way!” She chuckled, ruffling Loretta’s soft blonde hair. “Order anything that you’d like. It’s on the house.”
“You sure?” Ianto’s eyes flicked across the menu, his mind filling with all of the tempting sounding concoctions. “You know what, though? I think I could just kill for a cup of proper coffee.”
“How do you take it?”
“Strong, dash of cream and just a pinch of-”
“Cinnamon?” Lowri smirked across the table, raising one eyebrow. “Sorry, but that’s just how I drink it.”
“Me too.”
“Great.” She paused, waving her hand to one of the staff behind the counter. “Hey, Melanie! Couldn’t get me two mugs of my usual, could you? Maybe a glass of chocolate milk for Lottie too?”
“Table service, eh?” Ianto quipped.
“Only the best here. Besides, I pay them enough.”
“Mummy!” Loretta suddenly squealed, watching in horror as Lowri put her elbow straight onto her sugar picture. “You’ve spoiled it!”
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” Leaning over so he could see better, Ianto pointed down to the faint white lines of sugar. “See here? Doesn’t that look like a cat?”
“Oh, wow!!!” Loretta gasped, her imagination making the flicks of sugar into a tabby, with a big fat stomach and huge ears.
“See? I think mummy’s done a great job.” Ianto looked up, still smiling, eyes meeting with Lowri’s.
“You’re so good with her.” She paused, passing Ianto his coffee as Melanie placed them down onto the table. “You sure you don’t have any kids?”
“None that I know of.” Ianto joked, although his heart felt betrayed by his words. It couldn’t so easily forget the times he’d talked about it, with Lisa, with Jack….. “I guess I’m just a big kid at heart.”
“I’ve always loved kids.” Lowri nodded in agreement, sipping at her coffee slowly. “When my little brother was born, I was so excited. I was eight, I remember it like yesterday, when my mum brought him home, and he wouldn’t stop crying unless I held him.” She stopped, her mind obviously drifting. “I’m sorry, I’m rambling…”
“No.” Ianto was quick to let her continue, renewed memories appearing refreshed in his mind. “I’m interested.”
“You are?” She looked at him sceptically.
“I had a big sister once.”
“You did? What happened to her?”
“She died. A car accident.” Lumps were already forming in his throat, pulling their way up from his chest.
“I’m sorry.” A soft hand reached out and gently rested on his. “There’s nothing worse is there?”
“No, although I barely remember her. I was very young.”
“I’m the opposite.” Lowri sighed, looking down intently at the table top. “I remember too much. I have all these memories, taking him to the park, watching him feed the ducks. It was funny, he used to sit there and talk to them, he always used to say-”
“I’ll be back tomorrow, mister quackers.” Ianto was too lost in the flashback to realise what he’d said, or even the fact that he’d said it aloud.
“Yes…..” Lowri paused, her eyes staring intently into his. “How do you know that?”
“I…..I don’t. Was just something I used to say when I was little. From a TV programme I think.” Ianto’s mind was a blur, as he struggled to cover his tracks, hurt and curiosity such a dangerous combination. John was right. This was all wrong….
“I better be going.” He nodded, attempting to stand, to edge his way out of the booth.
“So soon? But you only just got here.”
“I’ve made you feel uncomfortable….I’m sorry, I never meant to.”
“Don’t be daft.” Lowri laughed her smile so familiar even though her face was so many years older. “Look, we started on a bit of a morbid note, eh? Shall we start again?”
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
Really great coffee and only the warmth that good company could bring. That was what Ianto had become accustomed to back in his old life, whether it was the coffee with Jack on a Sunday morning, of the coffee that he and Tosh would share when it was only them at the Hub. It was special, intimate, time that he could only share with those that he cared for the most. And it had been the one thing that besides Jack, he had missed in the cold new world.
“Oh, you do remind me of my David!” Lowri guffawed, almost choking on the piece of cake she’d half eaten. “He used to say sarcastic things like that!”
“Daddy used to be funny.” Loretta chipped in, clinging to the teddy that had previously be sat next to her. His fur was dog eared, yet well loved. “He used to fly as well, didn’t he mummy?” She tugged eagerly at her mother’s arm, face lit up. “Tell Ianto about it.”
“Yes sweetheart.” Lowri pulled her daughter closer, gaze meeting with Ianto’s again. “David was a pilot.” She nodded solemnly.
“Jack was in the RAF once upon a time.” Ianto felt himself say, more on autopilot more than anything else.
“Jack?”
“My partner.”
“The one you separated with?”
“Yes.” Ianto swallowed hard, almost hiding behind his coffee mug. “It wasn’t our choice though.”
“How do you mean?”
“We didn’t separate on purpose.” Ianto paused, desperately searching for the words with which to explain himself. “I suppose work got in the way.”
“Oh…..I see….” Lowri paused, looking unsure. “What was he like?”
“Imagine the most incredible man you’ve ever met.” Ianto smiled, draining the rest of the coffee from his mug. “That’s Jack.”
It had to end, Ianto knew that. Lowri had to get back to work; she had a life here, unlike him. He said his goodbyes to them both, getting a hug from little Loretta, resisting the urge to kiss his niece goodbye. He promised to stay in contact, to ring Lowri the next time he had the chance so that they could do it again. But he knew it was a promise he couldn’t keep even if he tried to. He knew that he’d never see them again.
Walking away, Ianto let himself indulge in a soft sob, something that he had done all too many times. John had been so right, he given himself ties to this world, made himself part of it. Whatever happened now, he was going to lose something, whether it be Jack or whether it be Lowri and Loretta. Ianto felt his heart ripped in two, happy that his sister was successful, that she had a daughter that brought light into her life, she was living and she was content. But by seeing all that, he had reminded himself of the dear sister he’d lost, given himself fresh memories which he now would have to grieve over. To him, she would always be the amazing Lowri Jones, the best big sister a boy could ask for. To her, he would be that mysterious Ianto Harkness, the man who came into her life as quickly as he has left it. She’d never hear from him again…..
Ok, so not much Jack here, but I was having a Ianto moment. Lots more Jack in the next chapter I promise. But as ever, your comments keep me going with this fic, so if you’ve got the time, give me a comment! Thanks :D
Just Being Me
xxxxx
Click here for the next chapter, Turning Point