I'm not a Starfleet commander, or T.J. Hooker. I don't live on Starship NCC-170... (some audience members say "1"), or own a phaser. I don't know anybody named Bones, Sulu, or Spock (picture of Dr. Benjamin Spock is shown on screen behind him). And no, I've never had green alien sex, but I'm sure it'd be quite an evening. (Pomp and Circumstance
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