Criminal Minds/NCIS fic: Coffee
Title: Coffee
Author:
jujuberry136
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Pairing: Reid/Ziva
Word Count: ~1700
Summary: It started innocently enough, just an observation about coffee. Takes place in the same ‘verse as Some Day’s You’re the Statue from my 5 times Reid is More Social Than You Thought fic.
Note: This was requested/prompted by
alkja a month ago and I’ve only written in now. And I’m not entirely sure if fulfilled what she was looking for. But it’s long! And has Reid and Ziva- I hope this works!
Disclaimer: Criminal Minds belongs to Ed Bernero, NCIS to Donald Bellisario.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tony grabbed McGee's backpack as soon as he stepped off the elevator and dragged him off to one side. "Probie," he hissed, his eyes slightly wide. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"
"A deranged co-worker?" McGee guessed, only to wince when Tony punched his arm.
"See, this is why we don't like letting you out into the field," Tony said as he grabbed McGee's head with both hands. "Look, right there!"
"Tony, this really isn't very comfortable," McGee mumbled, his eyes now trained at his desk. "What exactly am I supposed to be seeing?"
"The coffee McGeek," Tony whispered. "Look at the coffee!"
Gibbs and Ziva were talking quietly by Gibbs' desk, each holding large coffee cups. "Tony," McGee said slowly. "Gibbs and Ziva are drinking coffee, just like they do every day. Are you sleeping all right? Do you want me to call Ducky?"
"Gibbs gets his coffee from Starbucks usually and Ziva gets hers from the Einstein brothers next to her condo, but today they're both drinking from green coffee cup!" Tony explained with exasperation.
"So?"
"So, McGeek? It means that something's up!"
"Tony, I'm going to my desk now," McGee said as he pushed out of Tony's reach. As he crossed the short divide between Ziva's desk and his own, he realized Tony might have been onto something.
It was quiet. Normally when he got in, Gibbs was usually out of the office either feeding his caffeine addiction or getting information about a case. When Gibbs was in the office he was never quiet--he was barking orders about their new case, demanding updates, or insulting everyone's intelligence.
But now he was sitting quietly at his desk sipping his coffee. And if McGee wasn't mistaken, which would be hard at this range, there was a hint of a smile on his boss' face.
Tony was on to something.
"Damn good coffee David," Gibbs said suddenly, interrupting Tony and McGee's silent fight over whose turn it was to irritate Ziva for details. "Where'd you find out about this place?"
"A friend showed me this weekend. I was treated to a twenty minute lecture on the importance of bean storage temperature, the coffee bean variety, and brewing method after I suggested Starbucks," Ziva explained with a soft smile. "It was quite, informative."
Tony and McGee exchanged panicked looks-- now Ziva was smiling? What next, Vance was going to dance down the stairs in full drag, give them all raises, then hit on Gibbs?
"A friend?" Tony probed, leering suggestively. "Are my ears deceiving me, or was there a distinct lack of pronoun in that sentence? Does Zee-Va have a new boy toy?"
"A what?" Ziva asked, her smile replaced by a more familiar angry expression.
"I think he means boyfriend Ziva," McGee explained, not wanting Ziva to get sidetracked killing Tony before explaining what was going on.
"Oh, then yes," Ziva said. "Gibbs, didn't you say we had a case?"
Gibbs took one last long sip before barking out, "DiNozzo, McGee, stop gossiping like twelve year-old girls and get down to Ducky. We've got the remains of two dead petty officers." He glared at them when they failed to teleport themselves to the coroner's office, "What are you waiting for, fairy dust? Get down there NOW!"
Ziva smirked at them as they rushed to the elevator. Tony hissed, "This isn't over David."
"Are you sure about that?" she replied sweetly.
* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
By the end of the day they had come no closer to solving who killed Petty Officers Bernero and Bellisario, but Ziva was ready to kill Tony and McGee. For all of his pretending to be above it all, it was obvious the McGee wanted to know about Ziva’s new boyfriend just as much, if not more, than Tony.
“So is he older or younger?” Tony called as he knelt down by the discovery site to take photographs.
“What?” Ziva asked.
“Your boyfriend, is he younger or older than you? Taller? Dark hair, short hair?” Tony asked quickly.
“Tony, this isn’t the time for twenty questions,” McGee said softly, checking over his shoulders for Gibbs nervously. Though he couldn’t help looking at intently at Ziva to hear her answer.
“No,” Tony grinned. “Twenty questions would involve more questions. Like, what’s his name? What’s his favorite music? Where’d you go for your first date? Your latest date? How long you been dating anyway? Where’d you meet? What’s he do? Does he have any pets? Sisters? What do his parents do?”
Before Tony could continue to the eleventh question, Ziva cut him off. “It’s none of your business DiNozzo.” She jammed her pen into her vest pocket violently, her glare promising violence the next time they were in private.
Tony made a mental vow to stay out of the elevator with Ziva for the next few months, possibly years, just to stay on the safe side.
* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Gibbs ended up hearing their conversation anyway and lectured them for the entire twenty-minute car ride home on rule thirty-three, never let your co-workers’ romance interrupt your investigation. McGee nodded occasionally, hoping it was at the appropriate time-Gibbs’ driving somehow grew worse when he lectured. McGee hadn’t thought it possible until now.
His mood didn’t improve when Vance was waiting for them when they returned. “Gibbs,” he said stiffly. “These two are from the FBI, they’re here to help on your case.”
“Don’t need the help,” Gibbs said as he walked by the three men.
“Didn’t say you had a choice,” Vance called to his back. “Agents Reid and Morgan, these are Agents DiNozzo, McGee, and David. They’ll get you up to speed.”
Ziva didn’t bother to acknowledge the newcomers and stalked over to her desk, leaving Tony and Tim to deal with the newcomers.
“Seriously guys, there’s no reason for you to be here. We’ve got this under control,” Tony said as he leaned up against a wall.
“So you’ve already discovered the bruise pattern on their left ankles?” the skinny guy with a truly terrible sweater asked. His partner smirked as he crossed his arms, mimicking Tony’s easy slouch against the wall.
Tony waved his hand, “There was no bruise pattern on the ankles, I think somebody made the trip here for nothing.”
“Actually my dear boy,” a British voice interrupted, “I discovered the pattern while you were in the field.”
* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tony elbowed McGee, “What’d she say?”
“What’d who say?” McGee whispered keeping his eyes focused on his case report and not on his annoying co-worked intruding on his personal space.
“Ziva!” Tony replied exasperatedly. “What did she say about her mystery boyfriend when you talked to her in the elevator?”
“I didn’t ask her,” McGee said. “I happen to like my head attached to my body, thank you very much.”
“Oh please, you totally want to know just as much as I do.”
“What are you two whispering about?” a deep voice asked. McGee looked up to find Agent Morgan grinning at him.
“Nothing, nothing. We’re just working, aren’t we Tony?” McGee said.
Tony looked at the profiler speculatively. “You guys are supposed to be able to read people right? That’s how you catch the big guns, make the five o’clock news, get the private jet.”
“Sort of,” Agent Morgan replied, pulling a chair across to McGee’s desk. McGee took a quick look up, Agent Reid and Ziva were talking animatedly at her desk and Gibbs was nowhere to be seen.
“Well, what kind of man would our Mossad-trained, former assassin, multi-lingual, and scary college go for?” Tony asked.
Agent Morgan laughed, “Man, we are not a group you want to ask for love advice. But from what I’ve observed?” He paused for a minute. “I don’t know, probably someone who can make her laugh? Trust me, if I could do better than that, you think I’d be single?”
Tony sniggered in response. Reid and Ziva stopped their conversation and looked across to the three men suspiciously. The men silently decided to break up their conversation before anyone was injured.
“Morgan, I think we’ve got something here,” Agent Reid called. “Looks like the two Petty Officers and our previous three victims all used the same dry cleaners.”
“Meadow trip?” Ziva asked.
Agent Reid frowned until Tony said, “Field trip Ziva, field trip.”
* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Gibbs had changed his mind about the usefulness of the FBI after Agent Morgan tackled their killer through the glass window of the Zippy Dry. He even slapped Agent Morgan upside the head when the man laughed at Tony’s Die Hard quote.
“Hey kid,” Agent Morgan called over to Agent Reid after Gibbs’ manhandled the suspect into his car. “You want a ride?”
“I’m good thanks,” Reid replied as waved goodbye to Tony and Tim.
“What the hell,” Agent Morgan muttered softly before his mouth dropped.
Tony had always thought that sort of thing only happened in movies before he looked to see what had stupefied the profiler.
Ziva and Agent Reid were walking back to the sedan-holding hands.
Tony rubbed his eyes, and then looked again. Oh god, now they were leaning towards each other, bumping shoulders playfully every few feet.
“What the hell?” he asked the sky. “Seriously, the professional assassin and the geeky FBI guy? Who saw that coming?” He turned towards Agent Morgan with his hands spread. “I mean, this is even weirder than Charlize Theron and Woody Allen in The Curse of the Jade Scorpion.”
“Don’t look at me man,” Morgan replied. “We all kinda thought Reid was asexual. I mean, the man gets hit on by every hooker we encounter, which is a lot in our line of work, and he never blinks. When did this start?”
“Guys,” McGee said slowly. “I think you’re missing the most important question.”
“What?” Tony demanded, spinning on heel. “I mean this was a question of coffee this morning and now I have to reevaluate every moment of the last six months to try to make sense of what I just saw. What could be more important than that McGee?”
“How are we going to get back?” McGee asked slowly. “Gibbs took one car with the suspect back to NCIS and Ziva just took the other one.”
“Crap.”
Author:
jujuberry136
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Pairing: Reid/Ziva
Word Count: ~1700
Summary: It started innocently enough, just an observation about coffee. Takes place in the same ‘verse as Some Day’s You’re the Statue from my 5 times Reid is More Social Than You Thought fic.
Note: This was requested/prompted by
alkja a month ago and I’ve only written in now. And I’m not entirely sure if fulfilled what she was looking for. But it’s long! And has Reid and Ziva- I hope this works!
Disclaimer: Criminal Minds belongs to Ed Bernero, NCIS to Donald Bellisario.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tony grabbed McGee's backpack as soon as he stepped off the elevator and dragged him off to one side. "Probie," he hissed, his eyes slightly wide. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"
"A deranged co-worker?" McGee guessed, only to wince when Tony punched his arm.
"See, this is why we don't like letting you out into the field," Tony said as he grabbed McGee's head with both hands. "Look, right there!"
"Tony, this really isn't very comfortable," McGee mumbled, his eyes now trained at his desk. "What exactly am I supposed to be seeing?"
"The coffee McGeek," Tony whispered. "Look at the coffee!"
Gibbs and Ziva were talking quietly by Gibbs' desk, each holding large coffee cups. "Tony," McGee said slowly. "Gibbs and Ziva are drinking coffee, just like they do every day. Are you sleeping all right? Do you want me to call Ducky?"
"Gibbs gets his coffee from Starbucks usually and Ziva gets hers from the Einstein brothers next to her condo, but today they're both drinking from green coffee cup!" Tony explained with exasperation.
"So?"
"So, McGeek? It means that something's up!"
"Tony, I'm going to my desk now," McGee said as he pushed out of Tony's reach. As he crossed the short divide between Ziva's desk and his own, he realized Tony might have been onto something.
It was quiet. Normally when he got in, Gibbs was usually out of the office either feeding his caffeine addiction or getting information about a case. When Gibbs was in the office he was never quiet--he was barking orders about their new case, demanding updates, or insulting everyone's intelligence.
But now he was sitting quietly at his desk sipping his coffee. And if McGee wasn't mistaken, which would be hard at this range, there was a hint of a smile on his boss' face.
Tony was on to something.
"Damn good coffee David," Gibbs said suddenly, interrupting Tony and McGee's silent fight over whose turn it was to irritate Ziva for details. "Where'd you find out about this place?"
"A friend showed me this weekend. I was treated to a twenty minute lecture on the importance of bean storage temperature, the coffee bean variety, and brewing method after I suggested Starbucks," Ziva explained with a soft smile. "It was quite, informative."
Tony and McGee exchanged panicked looks-- now Ziva was smiling? What next, Vance was going to dance down the stairs in full drag, give them all raises, then hit on Gibbs?
"A friend?" Tony probed, leering suggestively. "Are my ears deceiving me, or was there a distinct lack of pronoun in that sentence? Does Zee-Va have a new boy toy?"
"A what?" Ziva asked, her smile replaced by a more familiar angry expression.
"I think he means boyfriend Ziva," McGee explained, not wanting Ziva to get sidetracked killing Tony before explaining what was going on.
"Oh, then yes," Ziva said. "Gibbs, didn't you say we had a case?"
Gibbs took one last long sip before barking out, "DiNozzo, McGee, stop gossiping like twelve year-old girls and get down to Ducky. We've got the remains of two dead petty officers." He glared at them when they failed to teleport themselves to the coroner's office, "What are you waiting for, fairy dust? Get down there NOW!"
Ziva smirked at them as they rushed to the elevator. Tony hissed, "This isn't over David."
"Are you sure about that?" she replied sweetly.
* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
By the end of the day they had come no closer to solving who killed Petty Officers Bernero and Bellisario, but Ziva was ready to kill Tony and McGee. For all of his pretending to be above it all, it was obvious the McGee wanted to know about Ziva’s new boyfriend just as much, if not more, than Tony.
“So is he older or younger?” Tony called as he knelt down by the discovery site to take photographs.
“What?” Ziva asked.
“Your boyfriend, is he younger or older than you? Taller? Dark hair, short hair?” Tony asked quickly.
“Tony, this isn’t the time for twenty questions,” McGee said softly, checking over his shoulders for Gibbs nervously. Though he couldn’t help looking at intently at Ziva to hear her answer.
“No,” Tony grinned. “Twenty questions would involve more questions. Like, what’s his name? What’s his favorite music? Where’d you go for your first date? Your latest date? How long you been dating anyway? Where’d you meet? What’s he do? Does he have any pets? Sisters? What do his parents do?”
Before Tony could continue to the eleventh question, Ziva cut him off. “It’s none of your business DiNozzo.” She jammed her pen into her vest pocket violently, her glare promising violence the next time they were in private.
Tony made a mental vow to stay out of the elevator with Ziva for the next few months, possibly years, just to stay on the safe side.
* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Gibbs ended up hearing their conversation anyway and lectured them for the entire twenty-minute car ride home on rule thirty-three, never let your co-workers’ romance interrupt your investigation. McGee nodded occasionally, hoping it was at the appropriate time-Gibbs’ driving somehow grew worse when he lectured. McGee hadn’t thought it possible until now.
His mood didn’t improve when Vance was waiting for them when they returned. “Gibbs,” he said stiffly. “These two are from the FBI, they’re here to help on your case.”
“Don’t need the help,” Gibbs said as he walked by the three men.
“Didn’t say you had a choice,” Vance called to his back. “Agents Reid and Morgan, these are Agents DiNozzo, McGee, and David. They’ll get you up to speed.”
Ziva didn’t bother to acknowledge the newcomers and stalked over to her desk, leaving Tony and Tim to deal with the newcomers.
“Seriously guys, there’s no reason for you to be here. We’ve got this under control,” Tony said as he leaned up against a wall.
“So you’ve already discovered the bruise pattern on their left ankles?” the skinny guy with a truly terrible sweater asked. His partner smirked as he crossed his arms, mimicking Tony’s easy slouch against the wall.
Tony waved his hand, “There was no bruise pattern on the ankles, I think somebody made the trip here for nothing.”
“Actually my dear boy,” a British voice interrupted, “I discovered the pattern while you were in the field.”
* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tony elbowed McGee, “What’d she say?”
“What’d who say?” McGee whispered keeping his eyes focused on his case report and not on his annoying co-worked intruding on his personal space.
“Ziva!” Tony replied exasperatedly. “What did she say about her mystery boyfriend when you talked to her in the elevator?”
“I didn’t ask her,” McGee said. “I happen to like my head attached to my body, thank you very much.”
“Oh please, you totally want to know just as much as I do.”
“What are you two whispering about?” a deep voice asked. McGee looked up to find Agent Morgan grinning at him.
“Nothing, nothing. We’re just working, aren’t we Tony?” McGee said.
Tony looked at the profiler speculatively. “You guys are supposed to be able to read people right? That’s how you catch the big guns, make the five o’clock news, get the private jet.”
“Sort of,” Agent Morgan replied, pulling a chair across to McGee’s desk. McGee took a quick look up, Agent Reid and Ziva were talking animatedly at her desk and Gibbs was nowhere to be seen.
“Well, what kind of man would our Mossad-trained, former assassin, multi-lingual, and scary college go for?” Tony asked.
Agent Morgan laughed, “Man, we are not a group you want to ask for love advice. But from what I’ve observed?” He paused for a minute. “I don’t know, probably someone who can make her laugh? Trust me, if I could do better than that, you think I’d be single?”
Tony sniggered in response. Reid and Ziva stopped their conversation and looked across to the three men suspiciously. The men silently decided to break up their conversation before anyone was injured.
“Morgan, I think we’ve got something here,” Agent Reid called. “Looks like the two Petty Officers and our previous three victims all used the same dry cleaners.”
“Meadow trip?” Ziva asked.
Agent Reid frowned until Tony said, “Field trip Ziva, field trip.”
* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Gibbs had changed his mind about the usefulness of the FBI after Agent Morgan tackled their killer through the glass window of the Zippy Dry. He even slapped Agent Morgan upside the head when the man laughed at Tony’s Die Hard quote.
“Hey kid,” Agent Morgan called over to Agent Reid after Gibbs’ manhandled the suspect into his car. “You want a ride?”
“I’m good thanks,” Reid replied as waved goodbye to Tony and Tim.
“What the hell,” Agent Morgan muttered softly before his mouth dropped.
Tony had always thought that sort of thing only happened in movies before he looked to see what had stupefied the profiler.
Ziva and Agent Reid were walking back to the sedan-holding hands.
Tony rubbed his eyes, and then looked again. Oh god, now they were leaning towards each other, bumping shoulders playfully every few feet.
“What the hell?” he asked the sky. “Seriously, the professional assassin and the geeky FBI guy? Who saw that coming?” He turned towards Agent Morgan with his hands spread. “I mean, this is even weirder than Charlize Theron and Woody Allen in The Curse of the Jade Scorpion.”
“Don’t look at me man,” Morgan replied. “We all kinda thought Reid was asexual. I mean, the man gets hit on by every hooker we encounter, which is a lot in our line of work, and he never blinks. When did this start?”
“Guys,” McGee said slowly. “I think you’re missing the most important question.”
“What?” Tony demanded, spinning on heel. “I mean this was a question of coffee this morning and now I have to reevaluate every moment of the last six months to try to make sense of what I just saw. What could be more important than that McGee?”
“How are we going to get back?” McGee asked slowly. “Gibbs took one car with the suspect back to NCIS and Ziva just took the other one.”
“Crap.”