Fic: "Selfish Mercy," Part 1 (L x Light)
I'm not trying to please anyone with this; I wrote it just for fun. But it would be selfish not to share! :D Sorry if it's not up to my usual standard. ^^;;
Title: "Selfish Mercy" (Part 1 of either 2 or 3)
Pairing: L x Light
Genre: AU, horror, romance
Rating: R
Words: 3600
Warning: Some serious canon-bending around Episode 25/Chapter 58; to say much more would spoil it. I tried to keep it IC, though. :)
Summary: L has his own dark secret. Perhaps this is why, in a strange way, he feels for Kira.
~*~
"Everyone, the Shinigami is --"
L didn't even finish his sentence before he sprung from his chair like a cat, electric with apprehension. Everyone else jumped up too, as if a wave of collective realization had broken over the task force. Watari. All Data Deletion, the screen still flashed as L bolted from the room, presumably to locate Watari or Rem. Light had never seen L run before. But the question wasn't why L was running. Light stood stock still, paralyzed, his heart thundering in his stomach.
Why was L alive?
Light's head spun as he ran to follow the detective. Had Rem thought she could save Misa by killing Watari only? It would disrupt things, maybe delay the investigation by a day or so, but it wasn't enough! Had she died before she could finish writing L's name? It didn't matter. He still had time. Misa. He had to find Misa.
No. He just had to not panic. Fortunately, everyone was panicking, because Watari was dead, and every man in the room expected to be next. Hurriedly, as if running would help, they all followed Light down the stairs to the floor where Watari was stationed, where L must have gone. Upon entering the room the first thing Light noticed was a pile of ashes or sand off in the corner. Rem. He'd placed his trust in Rem. What went wrong?
The second thing he noticed was L, kneeling at the dead man's side, head hanging mournfully. He'd never seen such a display of emotion from the detective before. Light's father rushed to L's side, but Aizawa and Mogi stopped short of the small scene of mourning. Matsuda practically stumbled into the room; it was Light who stopped him from running smack into Mogi. Matsuda looked at Light and followed his furtive gaze to the pile of ash that no one else had noticed.
"Hey, what's this?" Matsuda said, running over to the remains of Rem. Nearly buried in the fine sand was something Light had hoped to get his hands on first: Rem's Death Note. But Matsuda, predictably, grabbed it right out of the ash, and it practically fell open in his hands. Light, who had followed the fool in a feigned attempt to stop him, stared over his shoulder at the pages.
"Don't touch anything!" Ryuuzaki snapped. At the sound of L's voice Matsuda immediately dropped the notebook, sending a little ashy cloud up from the ground. He and Light both looked up to see L shuffling towards them, all manner of unhappy emotions written across his face. "I'll be taking that," he said simply, snatching the notebook from the floor.
"That's Rem's Death Note!" Matsuda said. Aizawa and Soichiro gasped.
"Yes," said L. "The notebook is all that remains now. The danger has passed." He turned sadly towards the fallen form of Watari, around whom more of the men had gathered.
"What happened?" Aizawa asked.
"So wait -- did Kira kill the shinigami too?" Matsuda puzzled aloud. "Why would -- "
"It was not Kira," L interrupted. "It was the shinigami herself who attacked Watari, since Kira would have no way of knowing his true name."
"But that makes even less sense!" Aizawa gasped. "That monster had always seemed nothing but neutral, and..."
L nodded. "And you're wondering why the rest of us are all still here."
The rest of us, thought Light. He means himself. But with the unwitting aid of Matsuda, Light had seen what he'd needed to see. The final two names on the last page: Quillsh Wammy and L Lawliet, scrawled in a desperate spidery hand, and then, the gaping white hole of the present. So Rem had written L's name after all. Which made it all the more puzzling: why wasn't he dead?
The men bustled about the remains of Watari and Rem. Light's eyes were glued to L, who seemed to carry an even heavier burden on his hunched shoulders than ever before. L caught Light staring, and Light softened his gaze and came to the sad young man's side.
"I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki," said Light. "He was very close to you, wasn't he?"
"Yes. Please let me have a moment alone with him."
Light obliged, smiling invisibly to himself on the way out.
~*~
L Lawliet. November 6. 2:34 am.
Light cackled inwardly. This was it. The end of L at last. This time, it could not fail. He'd learn from his error; this time he would execute the task himself. In the aftermath of Watari's death, less than 12 hours prior, Ryuuzaki would logically be the next to go. There was no more evidence against Light than there had ever been. And once L was out of the way, they would not test the thirteen day rule. No one else doubted its validity. No one else would question his innocence. As far as they were concerned, Light Yagami had been cleared. Instead, when L died, they would blame Kira.
Light lay back on his bed. For months they had shared this room, L and Light, chained at the wrist. It was a habit he found harder to break than he'd expected.
L came into the room. He looked sullen, as if he sensed his death on the horizon.
"Hello Light-kun," he said.
"Are you still working, Ryuuzaki?"
L sighed. "Does a soldier stop in mid-battle because his comrade is shot down?"
"But even a soldier must take some time for solace and comfort," Light replied. "Please. Take a break. It will be good for you."
L leaned on him, drawing their bodies close together, and Light shivered -- not out of repulsion, but just because L's skin was always so cold.
"Thank you for your comfort, Light-kun," he said. His touch shifted into an embrace, and he rested his head in the crook of Light's neck. He brought his cool, soft lips to Light's throat and kissed him there once, then once higher on the jawline, and then finally and fully on the mouth. Light took him in with eyes closed, the warm sugared tongue melting against his own. He pulled L down onto the bed, gently, letting the older man straddle him, never breaking the kiss. L weighed so very little as he leaned over Light's recumbent form, looking rather catlike and curious, though this was nothing new for them.
"Perhaps we should turn off the cameras," L said. "Just for now."
Light hesitated. If L died alone with Light shortly after the room's cameras had been switched off, Light would have to explain the mysterious coincidence to the police. On the other hand, under normal circumstances he should want the cameras off. Why wouldn't he, if he didn't have anything to pretend not to hide? The fucker, had he planned even this? But it was too late. The web of second guessing had broken. There was no more time for suspicions, only proof. A preference is not a proof, and L would be dead in four minutes.
"No," Light smiled. "Leave them on." He drew the covers up over their clothed bodies. "Just in case."
With a trace of a satisfied smile from L, just that small toothless child's smile, they kissed again, or rather, their long kiss continued. All L's ivory skin spread out before him as he peeled off that old white cotton shirt. Light had come to despise that shirt. He much preferred the man without it, especially now, on the precipice of defeat, so thin and brittle in his hands. Unhooking buttons with his teeth, L caressed him back with a cold, steady desire. Everything between them was cool and calculated, and Light sensed in that moment that L hadn't given up the game. Well, the game was over, whether L liked it or not. In the half-darkness of the covers his watch glowed bright.
"Amane-san is the second Kira," L murmured, circling his tongue over Light's exposed chest. "I'm positive. The 13-day-rule is fake. I have begun the test."
Light smiled, slipping his hand down the front of L's pants. He couldn't resist this. That this would be their last interaction...L's cock already hard and yearning for his touches..
"I agree all evidence points towards Misa," he said, stroking L's length softly. "But if the rule is fake, then won't I be back under suspicion too?"
"Of course," said L, in a voice that told Light he had always been under suspicion, and always would be.
"Why should we trust any of the rules, if one is made up?" Light's sentence dovetailed into a moan as L's hands took him from front and back at once, fingering his sensitive ass and rubbing the erection that throbbed so thick with power. Light kissed him wildly, fully aware of what he'd lose when L was gone. It took him a moment to realize L hadn't answered his question.
"The strange thing is, why didn't Kira kill me?" L stroked his lower back. "Presumably Kira arranged things so that the shinigami would have to kill Watari because Kira did not know his name."
"Do we have to talk about this now?" Light panted.
It was as if L hadn't heard him. "However, this is something the shinigami could have done at any time. So why, then, did she only act when we were about to test the 13-day rule?"
"Ryuuzaki...touch me...don't get distracted." Even though he knew damn well L never got distracted. Everything he did was on purpose.
"To protect Kira, naturally," L continued, one hand circling idly between Light's legs. "A Kira who would be incriminated if the rule was proven false. In other words, Amane Misa or Yagami Light." He paused and bit his thumb. "The question is, why am I still alive?"
The bastard, Light thought. He knows that is exactly the question that's been driving me insane.
"Perhaps he only intended to kill Watari as a warning," Light suggested. "But no, that's unlike Kira. Or, the shinigami was only able to kill one person before whatever killed her..." his voiced trailed off cautiously. Their foreplay had slowed to a trickle of soft, distracted touches. "Ryuuzaki...how do we even know for sure that the shinigami is dead?"
"Ah, how do we know?" L asked himself, eyes rolled towards the ceiling. "Or rather, how did Light-kun seem to know, since I never said any such thing?"
"You said the danger has passed, or something like that," Light said, acting miffed. "I could only assume -- "
"Why did you want to keep the cameras on, if not to protect yourself? Why not turn them off?" Now he was licking and kissing Light's collarbone and shoulders again. "Just what are you trying to capture on film, if not your innocence?" His fingers grazed Light's cock. "If it can be called that."
Light chuckled. "I shouldn't have to answer that, not for the man who handcuffed me to his side for three months." He grabbed L's thin wrists forcefully and held him tight against the mattress. "Say, where are those things anyway? I'm beginning to feel nostalgic."
"Are you now?" L mused. "Perhaps that can be arranged." His eyes were black, inscrutable. "Yes, I think there is a strong probability. But we'll save that for later."
Light nearly laughed out loud. He had just now noticed the time on his watch, up against his wrist, up against L's wrist with its visible veins. Tick. Tick. "Later?" he grinned. Tick. Tick. Tick. "How unfortunate."
Tick.
"There is no later for you, L Lawliet."
L's face froze. He made no sound, just contorted into a kind of spasmodic ball, knees drawn up to his chest, eyes frozen wide and fishlike. Light smiled with demonic glee as finally, finally, L's part in his struggle ended. This was triumph at its purest.
Then, in nightmarish slow motion, L smiled back at him, a wide, wicked smile that mirrored his own. He jumped back with a shout.
"Ryuuzaki!" Light stammered. "You're -- But -- you can't be"
"Not dead?" L smiled. "How very perceptive, Kira."
Light's hands shook. Something about that smile chilled him to the bone, and he couldn't put his finger on it. It was too late for acting now, wasn't it? Even though the camera hadn't caught his final goodbye smile and whispered words, L had seen it. L had lived. What was going on?
"You're alive!" He hugged him now, laughing like a madman to cover the rage and confusion and fear. "I'm so relieved, Ryuuzaki -- "
With more strength than Light had ever imagined he had, L twisted out of Light's fierce hug and pushed him back hard into the wall. With a startled cough he watched L pull his cell phone from his pocket. "Watari. I have obtained a confession from Yagami-kun. As soon as possible. Yes, I can hold him here."
Watari? Light would not stand for this. The camera's glare burned into his back, but he was at the end of his rope. He'd hold his ground; he'd get away from here. As he moved towards L, a sharp jab between his shoulders knocked him down against he bed, and several metallic clinks later he felt a familiar presence around his wrist. Handcuffed to the bed, the bed of all places, the place L had used to --
"Do not struggle, Light-kun. You'll only tire yourself."
Light stared at him, a deer in the headlights of those enormous, unreadable eyes. "Ryuuzaki...Watari...how? -- why --! Why?!"
"Technical details, Light-kun. I will explain later."
~*~
L entered the cell quietly. Light's eyes blazed with fury.
"How are you alive? I don't understand. I killed you, twice."
L took a small black notebook from his back pocket. "The human whose name is written in this notebook shall die," he read aloud, as if seeing it for the first time. Then he held it out by two thin fingers for Light to read, as if he hadn't seen the passage a million times.
"I don't appreciate being mocked," Light growled. "I assure you, this is bad enough."
"But Light-kun ignored the most important part." Walking around behind his captive, L held the notebook down in front of them so he could read over Light's shoulder.
"I don't understand..." Light said. "The human..."
L's hands rested on his shoulders. Light felt L's lips brush his neck, as they had countless times before throughout this sick charade. Twin pins pushed in firmly to his skin. Just a faint prick, a subtle nip that stayed latched tight and deep. He winced, and smelled salt and metal. It took a second for Light to realize and another to accept what was happening.
"Ryuuzaki! You -- "
As hard as Light tried to wrench himself away, L held him fast with that monstrous hidden strength. It all made sense now, for the most part. So this was it. He was going to die like this, now -- this was Kira's execution, exsanguination in a prison cell. L's breath as he sucked was cool, but the more he sucked the warmer it grew. Light had to relax. Struggling would only exacerbate his injury. He felt himself growing faint. Any day now, Ryuk, he thought. Write down my name.
But L released him and stepped away. Light panted dizzily, holding the spot on his neck where the vampire had sunk his fangs.
"I will not kill you, Kira" said L, wiping Light's blood from his lower lip.
"Why...?" Light blinked unsteadily.
"I was fond of Light-kun," he shrugged. "If I kill Kira I will kill Light-kun too."
Light scoffed, incredulous. "Are you a child?"
"Far from it," said L. "But I value my friends, where I can find them."
"Lawliet, you fool. Don't pretend we were ever friends."
"Light-kun and I have something in common. We have dark powers. Dark secrets. We both are killers."
"You fucking hypocrite," Light snarled. "How many people know you're a vampire?"
"Among the living? Only Watari."
Watari. He still couldn't believe the old man had survived Rem's attack...he'd seen the body...L had... "Is he a vampire too?"
"Watari owns the English orphanage where I was raised. In association with the orphanage, he also owns a hospital. When patients give blood for testing, after the lab is done with it, I receive it. This way I am able to feed without harming humans."
"You didn't answer my question."
L smiled again. It was creepy. "Watari is different. But he is, perhaps, closer to my kind than yours."
Light shuddered. It should not seem so strange, the existence of vampires. After all, he had met shinigami, and killed with the stroke of a pen. Nothing should surprise him anymore, and yet this did.
"So what are you going to do now?" he asked.
"I shall patiently await your trial, if you choose to have one."
"Trial?" Light blinked. L shot him a frustrated look.
"Light-kun, I am not a barbarian."
"Just a monster," Light muttered.
L smiled. "As I said. Light-kun and I share a bond. We are not so different. I could have fed like a king off the blood you spilled, Kira-kun. Quite a terrible waste, really."
The thought of drinking his victims' blood nauseated Light, but the irony was not lost on him.
"The trial would not be public," L continued. "And I don't expect you shall receive the death sentence, if you plead guilty."
"Aren't you afraid that by giving me a platform to speak I will expose you for what you are, as you have exposed me?"
"Ah, so we come to that," L sighed. "Well, I don't know. Would Light-kun do such a thing? Announce at the defendant's stand that the mysterious L is, of all things, a vampire? You'd be laughed out of the courtroom. No, I do not believe you would do any such thing."
Light had to admit, he would look like a fool. Kira on trial. The thought alone humiliated him. Could he plead insanity? What could he do? "Why are you so sure I won't get the death penalty?"
"Because I do not wish it," L replied.
Light stared at him for a minute, standing there in his stooped little way. He looked back at Light, half expectantly.
"Something's not adding up here," Light insisted. "You once vowed to send Kira to his execution."
"So I did." L bit his thumb. "But I did not know Kira when I made that claim. And more importantly, I did not know Light-kun."
"So what? I'll spend the rest of my life in prison?"
"Not necessarily." Facing Light, he placed his hands on his shoulders. The dark round eyes had never been so earnest. "If you'd paid more attention, you would have heard me offer you the choice of a trial. At this point in time, I have yet to inform the law of your confession."
"What are you saying?"
"I am giving you a second chance. Give Kira up. Stop your murderous crusade, Light-kun. Surrender quietly and honestly to me, and I will spare you."
Light was baffled. He'd thought he'd had L all figured out...but now, after everything, the creature was going to be merciful?
"Spare me?" he asked. "For what?"
L leaned in towards him, and Light braced himself, thinking he was about to get bitten again. But instead L kissed him on the mouth. Those familiar thin lips, still tasting faintly of his own blood, melded with his own. L broke the kiss first, leaving Light wondering why he did not resist.
"For me," L answered at last.
Light sat in silence, still absorbing the weight behind L's kiss. That kiss signified more than just a game. Behind that was kiss a genuine desire, one that would keep him alive.
"Like Light-kun, I was once a killer," the vampire said. "But one man offered me a second chance. Though I can never replace the lives that I have taken, it is my hope that through my work I can save even more."
"And so you're giving me a shot at redemption too, huh?"
"Correct."
"How can you ask me to just 'retire' Kira? What will you do about the case? How will you be able to face the public, much less the task force, with no culprit to punish?"
"Always, always with the punishment," L shook his head. "When a problem suddenly disappears, it is easy to invent a solution retroactively."
Light had to smile at the truth of his words. "You'll blame it on another murderer who was already slated to die, or some such thing. And you won't turn me in."
"I will not turn you in, but I will keep you under my constant watch. Light-kun will be my assistant -- no, my partner -- on all future investigations. The Death Notes will be destroyed, of course. And the killings will end."
"But --"
"Of course, I will tell your father that you are not Kira. The truth, history...it all can be bent as easily as the law. There is no need for you to suffer public shame. No one needs to know what you have done but me and Watari."
"And Misa," Light added. "I assume you've locked her up again too."
"Until her memories are cleared, at your command, then yes, I suppose we must include Amane."
Light shook his head. It was all too much to take in, and so far beyond prediction. "Why are you doing this?"
"Because like Kira, I am selfish, and I hate to lose."
"Lose?" Light exclaimed. "L, you've won. You've caught Kira, you've proven you were right all along..."
Suddenly L's hand was in his hair. "I would hate to lose you, Light-kun."
Light stared into the blackness of his eyes, understanding, and yet still struggling to understand.
"I told you, I am selfish," said L. "I am not doing this for you."
Link to Part 2
Title: "Selfish Mercy" (Part 1 of either 2 or 3)
Pairing: L x Light
Genre: AU, horror, romance
Rating: R
Words: 3600
Warning: Some serious canon-bending around Episode 25/Chapter 58; to say much more would spoil it. I tried to keep it IC, though. :)
Summary: L has his own dark secret. Perhaps this is why, in a strange way, he feels for Kira.
~*~
"Everyone, the Shinigami is --"
L didn't even finish his sentence before he sprung from his chair like a cat, electric with apprehension. Everyone else jumped up too, as if a wave of collective realization had broken over the task force. Watari. All Data Deletion, the screen still flashed as L bolted from the room, presumably to locate Watari or Rem. Light had never seen L run before. But the question wasn't why L was running. Light stood stock still, paralyzed, his heart thundering in his stomach.
Why was L alive?
Light's head spun as he ran to follow the detective. Had Rem thought she could save Misa by killing Watari only? It would disrupt things, maybe delay the investigation by a day or so, but it wasn't enough! Had she died before she could finish writing L's name? It didn't matter. He still had time. Misa. He had to find Misa.
No. He just had to not panic. Fortunately, everyone was panicking, because Watari was dead, and every man in the room expected to be next. Hurriedly, as if running would help, they all followed Light down the stairs to the floor where Watari was stationed, where L must have gone. Upon entering the room the first thing Light noticed was a pile of ashes or sand off in the corner. Rem. He'd placed his trust in Rem. What went wrong?
The second thing he noticed was L, kneeling at the dead man's side, head hanging mournfully. He'd never seen such a display of emotion from the detective before. Light's father rushed to L's side, but Aizawa and Mogi stopped short of the small scene of mourning. Matsuda practically stumbled into the room; it was Light who stopped him from running smack into Mogi. Matsuda looked at Light and followed his furtive gaze to the pile of ash that no one else had noticed.
"Hey, what's this?" Matsuda said, running over to the remains of Rem. Nearly buried in the fine sand was something Light had hoped to get his hands on first: Rem's Death Note. But Matsuda, predictably, grabbed it right out of the ash, and it practically fell open in his hands. Light, who had followed the fool in a feigned attempt to stop him, stared over his shoulder at the pages.
"Don't touch anything!" Ryuuzaki snapped. At the sound of L's voice Matsuda immediately dropped the notebook, sending a little ashy cloud up from the ground. He and Light both looked up to see L shuffling towards them, all manner of unhappy emotions written across his face. "I'll be taking that," he said simply, snatching the notebook from the floor.
"That's Rem's Death Note!" Matsuda said. Aizawa and Soichiro gasped.
"Yes," said L. "The notebook is all that remains now. The danger has passed." He turned sadly towards the fallen form of Watari, around whom more of the men had gathered.
"What happened?" Aizawa asked.
"So wait -- did Kira kill the shinigami too?" Matsuda puzzled aloud. "Why would -- "
"It was not Kira," L interrupted. "It was the shinigami herself who attacked Watari, since Kira would have no way of knowing his true name."
"But that makes even less sense!" Aizawa gasped. "That monster had always seemed nothing but neutral, and..."
L nodded. "And you're wondering why the rest of us are all still here."
The rest of us, thought Light. He means himself. But with the unwitting aid of Matsuda, Light had seen what he'd needed to see. The final two names on the last page: Quillsh Wammy and L Lawliet, scrawled in a desperate spidery hand, and then, the gaping white hole of the present. So Rem had written L's name after all. Which made it all the more puzzling: why wasn't he dead?
The men bustled about the remains of Watari and Rem. Light's eyes were glued to L, who seemed to carry an even heavier burden on his hunched shoulders than ever before. L caught Light staring, and Light softened his gaze and came to the sad young man's side.
"I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki," said Light. "He was very close to you, wasn't he?"
"Yes. Please let me have a moment alone with him."
Light obliged, smiling invisibly to himself on the way out.
~*~
L Lawliet. November 6. 2:34 am.
Light cackled inwardly. This was it. The end of L at last. This time, it could not fail. He'd learn from his error; this time he would execute the task himself. In the aftermath of Watari's death, less than 12 hours prior, Ryuuzaki would logically be the next to go. There was no more evidence against Light than there had ever been. And once L was out of the way, they would not test the thirteen day rule. No one else doubted its validity. No one else would question his innocence. As far as they were concerned, Light Yagami had been cleared. Instead, when L died, they would blame Kira.
Light lay back on his bed. For months they had shared this room, L and Light, chained at the wrist. It was a habit he found harder to break than he'd expected.
L came into the room. He looked sullen, as if he sensed his death on the horizon.
"Hello Light-kun," he said.
"Are you still working, Ryuuzaki?"
L sighed. "Does a soldier stop in mid-battle because his comrade is shot down?"
"But even a soldier must take some time for solace and comfort," Light replied. "Please. Take a break. It will be good for you."
L leaned on him, drawing their bodies close together, and Light shivered -- not out of repulsion, but just because L's skin was always so cold.
"Thank you for your comfort, Light-kun," he said. His touch shifted into an embrace, and he rested his head in the crook of Light's neck. He brought his cool, soft lips to Light's throat and kissed him there once, then once higher on the jawline, and then finally and fully on the mouth. Light took him in with eyes closed, the warm sugared tongue melting against his own. He pulled L down onto the bed, gently, letting the older man straddle him, never breaking the kiss. L weighed so very little as he leaned over Light's recumbent form, looking rather catlike and curious, though this was nothing new for them.
"Perhaps we should turn off the cameras," L said. "Just for now."
Light hesitated. If L died alone with Light shortly after the room's cameras had been switched off, Light would have to explain the mysterious coincidence to the police. On the other hand, under normal circumstances he should want the cameras off. Why wouldn't he, if he didn't have anything to pretend not to hide? The fucker, had he planned even this? But it was too late. The web of second guessing had broken. There was no more time for suspicions, only proof. A preference is not a proof, and L would be dead in four minutes.
"No," Light smiled. "Leave them on." He drew the covers up over their clothed bodies. "Just in case."
With a trace of a satisfied smile from L, just that small toothless child's smile, they kissed again, or rather, their long kiss continued. All L's ivory skin spread out before him as he peeled off that old white cotton shirt. Light had come to despise that shirt. He much preferred the man without it, especially now, on the precipice of defeat, so thin and brittle in his hands. Unhooking buttons with his teeth, L caressed him back with a cold, steady desire. Everything between them was cool and calculated, and Light sensed in that moment that L hadn't given up the game. Well, the game was over, whether L liked it or not. In the half-darkness of the covers his watch glowed bright.
"Amane-san is the second Kira," L murmured, circling his tongue over Light's exposed chest. "I'm positive. The 13-day-rule is fake. I have begun the test."
Light smiled, slipping his hand down the front of L's pants. He couldn't resist this. That this would be their last interaction...L's cock already hard and yearning for his touches..
"I agree all evidence points towards Misa," he said, stroking L's length softly. "But if the rule is fake, then won't I be back under suspicion too?"
"Of course," said L, in a voice that told Light he had always been under suspicion, and always would be.
"Why should we trust any of the rules, if one is made up?" Light's sentence dovetailed into a moan as L's hands took him from front and back at once, fingering his sensitive ass and rubbing the erection that throbbed so thick with power. Light kissed him wildly, fully aware of what he'd lose when L was gone. It took him a moment to realize L hadn't answered his question.
"The strange thing is, why didn't Kira kill me?" L stroked his lower back. "Presumably Kira arranged things so that the shinigami would have to kill Watari because Kira did not know his name."
"Do we have to talk about this now?" Light panted.
It was as if L hadn't heard him. "However, this is something the shinigami could have done at any time. So why, then, did she only act when we were about to test the 13-day rule?"
"Ryuuzaki...touch me...don't get distracted." Even though he knew damn well L never got distracted. Everything he did was on purpose.
"To protect Kira, naturally," L continued, one hand circling idly between Light's legs. "A Kira who would be incriminated if the rule was proven false. In other words, Amane Misa or Yagami Light." He paused and bit his thumb. "The question is, why am I still alive?"
The bastard, Light thought. He knows that is exactly the question that's been driving me insane.
"Perhaps he only intended to kill Watari as a warning," Light suggested. "But no, that's unlike Kira. Or, the shinigami was only able to kill one person before whatever killed her..." his voiced trailed off cautiously. Their foreplay had slowed to a trickle of soft, distracted touches. "Ryuuzaki...how do we even know for sure that the shinigami is dead?"
"Ah, how do we know?" L asked himself, eyes rolled towards the ceiling. "Or rather, how did Light-kun seem to know, since I never said any such thing?"
"You said the danger has passed, or something like that," Light said, acting miffed. "I could only assume -- "
"Why did you want to keep the cameras on, if not to protect yourself? Why not turn them off?" Now he was licking and kissing Light's collarbone and shoulders again. "Just what are you trying to capture on film, if not your innocence?" His fingers grazed Light's cock. "If it can be called that."
Light chuckled. "I shouldn't have to answer that, not for the man who handcuffed me to his side for three months." He grabbed L's thin wrists forcefully and held him tight against the mattress. "Say, where are those things anyway? I'm beginning to feel nostalgic."
"Are you now?" L mused. "Perhaps that can be arranged." His eyes were black, inscrutable. "Yes, I think there is a strong probability. But we'll save that for later."
Light nearly laughed out loud. He had just now noticed the time on his watch, up against his wrist, up against L's wrist with its visible veins. Tick. Tick. "Later?" he grinned. Tick. Tick. Tick. "How unfortunate."
Tick.
"There is no later for you, L Lawliet."
L's face froze. He made no sound, just contorted into a kind of spasmodic ball, knees drawn up to his chest, eyes frozen wide and fishlike. Light smiled with demonic glee as finally, finally, L's part in his struggle ended. This was triumph at its purest.
Then, in nightmarish slow motion, L smiled back at him, a wide, wicked smile that mirrored his own. He jumped back with a shout.
"Ryuuzaki!" Light stammered. "You're -- But -- you can't be"
"Not dead?" L smiled. "How very perceptive, Kira."
Light's hands shook. Something about that smile chilled him to the bone, and he couldn't put his finger on it. It was too late for acting now, wasn't it? Even though the camera hadn't caught his final goodbye smile and whispered words, L had seen it. L had lived. What was going on?
"You're alive!" He hugged him now, laughing like a madman to cover the rage and confusion and fear. "I'm so relieved, Ryuuzaki -- "
With more strength than Light had ever imagined he had, L twisted out of Light's fierce hug and pushed him back hard into the wall. With a startled cough he watched L pull his cell phone from his pocket. "Watari. I have obtained a confession from Yagami-kun. As soon as possible. Yes, I can hold him here."
Watari? Light would not stand for this. The camera's glare burned into his back, but he was at the end of his rope. He'd hold his ground; he'd get away from here. As he moved towards L, a sharp jab between his shoulders knocked him down against he bed, and several metallic clinks later he felt a familiar presence around his wrist. Handcuffed to the bed, the bed of all places, the place L had used to --
"Do not struggle, Light-kun. You'll only tire yourself."
Light stared at him, a deer in the headlights of those enormous, unreadable eyes. "Ryuuzaki...Watari...how? -- why --! Why?!"
"Technical details, Light-kun. I will explain later."
~*~
L entered the cell quietly. Light's eyes blazed with fury.
"How are you alive? I don't understand. I killed you, twice."
L took a small black notebook from his back pocket. "The human whose name is written in this notebook shall die," he read aloud, as if seeing it for the first time. Then he held it out by two thin fingers for Light to read, as if he hadn't seen the passage a million times.
"I don't appreciate being mocked," Light growled. "I assure you, this is bad enough."
"But Light-kun ignored the most important part." Walking around behind his captive, L held the notebook down in front of them so he could read over Light's shoulder.
"I don't understand..." Light said. "The human..."
L's hands rested on his shoulders. Light felt L's lips brush his neck, as they had countless times before throughout this sick charade. Twin pins pushed in firmly to his skin. Just a faint prick, a subtle nip that stayed latched tight and deep. He winced, and smelled salt and metal. It took a second for Light to realize and another to accept what was happening.
"Ryuuzaki! You -- "
As hard as Light tried to wrench himself away, L held him fast with that monstrous hidden strength. It all made sense now, for the most part. So this was it. He was going to die like this, now -- this was Kira's execution, exsanguination in a prison cell. L's breath as he sucked was cool, but the more he sucked the warmer it grew. Light had to relax. Struggling would only exacerbate his injury. He felt himself growing faint. Any day now, Ryuk, he thought. Write down my name.
But L released him and stepped away. Light panted dizzily, holding the spot on his neck where the vampire had sunk his fangs.
"I will not kill you, Kira" said L, wiping Light's blood from his lower lip.
"Why...?" Light blinked unsteadily.
"I was fond of Light-kun," he shrugged. "If I kill Kira I will kill Light-kun too."
Light scoffed, incredulous. "Are you a child?"
"Far from it," said L. "But I value my friends, where I can find them."
"Lawliet, you fool. Don't pretend we were ever friends."
"Light-kun and I have something in common. We have dark powers. Dark secrets. We both are killers."
"You fucking hypocrite," Light snarled. "How many people know you're a vampire?"
"Among the living? Only Watari."
Watari. He still couldn't believe the old man had survived Rem's attack...he'd seen the body...L had... "Is he a vampire too?"
"Watari owns the English orphanage where I was raised. In association with the orphanage, he also owns a hospital. When patients give blood for testing, after the lab is done with it, I receive it. This way I am able to feed without harming humans."
"You didn't answer my question."
L smiled again. It was creepy. "Watari is different. But he is, perhaps, closer to my kind than yours."
Light shuddered. It should not seem so strange, the existence of vampires. After all, he had met shinigami, and killed with the stroke of a pen. Nothing should surprise him anymore, and yet this did.
"So what are you going to do now?" he asked.
"I shall patiently await your trial, if you choose to have one."
"Trial?" Light blinked. L shot him a frustrated look.
"Light-kun, I am not a barbarian."
"Just a monster," Light muttered.
L smiled. "As I said. Light-kun and I share a bond. We are not so different. I could have fed like a king off the blood you spilled, Kira-kun. Quite a terrible waste, really."
The thought of drinking his victims' blood nauseated Light, but the irony was not lost on him.
"The trial would not be public," L continued. "And I don't expect you shall receive the death sentence, if you plead guilty."
"Aren't you afraid that by giving me a platform to speak I will expose you for what you are, as you have exposed me?"
"Ah, so we come to that," L sighed. "Well, I don't know. Would Light-kun do such a thing? Announce at the defendant's stand that the mysterious L is, of all things, a vampire? You'd be laughed out of the courtroom. No, I do not believe you would do any such thing."
Light had to admit, he would look like a fool. Kira on trial. The thought alone humiliated him. Could he plead insanity? What could he do? "Why are you so sure I won't get the death penalty?"
"Because I do not wish it," L replied.
Light stared at him for a minute, standing there in his stooped little way. He looked back at Light, half expectantly.
"Something's not adding up here," Light insisted. "You once vowed to send Kira to his execution."
"So I did." L bit his thumb. "But I did not know Kira when I made that claim. And more importantly, I did not know Light-kun."
"So what? I'll spend the rest of my life in prison?"
"Not necessarily." Facing Light, he placed his hands on his shoulders. The dark round eyes had never been so earnest. "If you'd paid more attention, you would have heard me offer you the choice of a trial. At this point in time, I have yet to inform the law of your confession."
"What are you saying?"
"I am giving you a second chance. Give Kira up. Stop your murderous crusade, Light-kun. Surrender quietly and honestly to me, and I will spare you."
Light was baffled. He'd thought he'd had L all figured out...but now, after everything, the creature was going to be merciful?
"Spare me?" he asked. "For what?"
L leaned in towards him, and Light braced himself, thinking he was about to get bitten again. But instead L kissed him on the mouth. Those familiar thin lips, still tasting faintly of his own blood, melded with his own. L broke the kiss first, leaving Light wondering why he did not resist.
"For me," L answered at last.
Light sat in silence, still absorbing the weight behind L's kiss. That kiss signified more than just a game. Behind that was kiss a genuine desire, one that would keep him alive.
"Like Light-kun, I was once a killer," the vampire said. "But one man offered me a second chance. Though I can never replace the lives that I have taken, it is my hope that through my work I can save even more."
"And so you're giving me a shot at redemption too, huh?"
"Correct."
"How can you ask me to just 'retire' Kira? What will you do about the case? How will you be able to face the public, much less the task force, with no culprit to punish?"
"Always, always with the punishment," L shook his head. "When a problem suddenly disappears, it is easy to invent a solution retroactively."
Light had to smile at the truth of his words. "You'll blame it on another murderer who was already slated to die, or some such thing. And you won't turn me in."
"I will not turn you in, but I will keep you under my constant watch. Light-kun will be my assistant -- no, my partner -- on all future investigations. The Death Notes will be destroyed, of course. And the killings will end."
"But --"
"Of course, I will tell your father that you are not Kira. The truth, history...it all can be bent as easily as the law. There is no need for you to suffer public shame. No one needs to know what you have done but me and Watari."
"And Misa," Light added. "I assume you've locked her up again too."
"Until her memories are cleared, at your command, then yes, I suppose we must include Amane."
Light shook his head. It was all too much to take in, and so far beyond prediction. "Why are you doing this?"
"Because like Kira, I am selfish, and I hate to lose."
"Lose?" Light exclaimed. "L, you've won. You've caught Kira, you've proven you were right all along..."
Suddenly L's hand was in his hair. "I would hate to lose you, Light-kun."
Light stared into the blackness of his eyes, understanding, and yet still struggling to understand.
"I told you, I am selfish," said L. "I am not doing this for you."
Link to Part 2