Have you ever coughed on your keyboard, but not realized it, then noticed later that there was something mysterious and suggestive on your keyboard.

"...I know this because... all things are revealed to me... through hardcore f******..."

http://www.adultswim.com/shows/perfecthairforever/webisode07/index.html

"I wish these hot dogs and cats were not symbolic of anything."

I was glancing over my posts and I realized that the phrase "Why does no one want to give me a fucking job?" could be misinterpreted. Now a whole new genre of employment opportunities has opened up for me.

From now on I wish to be described thusly: "Smooth, like G.I. Joe's nether regions."

Sometimes I want to post things that will make people mad and write angry passionate comments. Like: "A woman's place is in the kitchen or makin' babies!" or: "People who have a different skin color than mine aren't really people at all!" or: "Children should learn S&M along with the multiplication tables!" but then I realize that the only people ( Read more... )

Is it bad when you spend most of the day without underwear then go to change your clothes and suddenly find yourself completely nude and wondering where your underwear went? (Of course then you realize you never put any on and you must talk about it on LiveJournal.)

Well, that guy never tried to make a move on me, despite my fear that he would.

Be constructive

Cut the kids in half

Go to sleep

Or someone's listening in

Is someone listening in?

Sometimes I think that, whatever the human being is, I am not it.

I am the tooth fairy I am the Lindberg baby.