Fic: Touchy-Feely Crap (All Liquored Up and No Place We Wanna Go) (complete)
Title: Touchy-Feely Crap (All Liquored Up and No Place We Wanna Go)
Author: josephina_x
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Clark, Lex
Rating: R (because of light M/M action)
Spoilers: major for 7x10 Persona, goes wildly AU after that
Word count: 6500+
Summary: Clark and Lex come to some sort of an agreement on living arrangements, and then Clark explores all the good parts of the Penthouse (Lex). And then Lex explores him. Shelby explores... around. Elsewhere. Shoo. (Good dog.)
Warnings: Un-beta'd.
Disclaimer: Not mine, not-for-profit.
Comments: Yes, please! :)
Author's Note: Equal-blame for this lies with nicnac918. (Doesn't it always?)
Slightly less worse, for varying values of "worse."
Also posted to AO3, if you'd rather read there.
Fifth in the Divergent Persona series:
--first is "Crying Into Scotch" ( here on LJ, here on AO3),
--second is "Sweet, Cold Revenge (...sort of)" ( here on LJ, here on AO3),
--third is "...What The Hell Just Happened?" ( here on LJ, here on AO3),
-- fourth is "Life Happens (...Well, Shit)" ( here on LJ, here on AO3).
~*~*~*~*~*~
After he and Clark had been bickering for the last fifteen minutes or so about fiscal responsibility and how Clark did-or-didn't need to contribute to Lex's household, and couldn't afford to help pay for things in a 50/50 split besides, the two of them were both frustrated and about to give up.
"I don't know why you're so against this, Lex!" Clark said, exasperated.
"And I don't see why you can't just stay here, not worry so much about the details of every little thing, and just be happy about it," Lex grumbled.
"Lex!" Clark exclaimed. Shelby whined at his feet, and Clark glanced down at his dog. He grimaced, then rubbed the top of the dog's head as he huffed out a breath, trying to calm down and regain control of his temper, again. "I told you, I'm not going to be able to be happy if I don't do something like help with the rent."
"I don't pay rent," Lex explained for the twentieth time. "It's a perk of being the CEO."
"I know that, but--"
"--and so having you pay rent to me for staying here is silly. Not to mention that you couldn't afford even a part of how much this place would charge if it was being rented out," Lex said, leaning forward in his chair and staring Clark in the eyes.
Clark sighed and looked away as he leaned back into the sofa, frustrated all over again. "...Look, I get that, but it's just... like..." Clark grasped about, searching for the right words. "--I won't be comfortable staying here if I'm... feeling like I'm wandering around as a guest in a hotel room that isn't even mine. --Maybe you could be, but I can't," he added quickly.
Lex ran a hand over the top of his skull. He'd had board meetings with his father in the room that went better than this. Recent ones, even.
"Look, Lex..." Clark tried again. "I don't know how else to explain this. It's like... like..." he grimaced and continued. "Ok, this isn't perfect, but-- when I was little, we had hands working on the farm."
Lex frowned slightly and sat up a little straighter, taking notice. Clark didn't share stories of his home life often, especially from when he was younger (he'd been even less talkative about it after Jonathan had passed away, even before their friendship had begun to tear itself apart).
"I was too little to do anything, and they did pretty much all the work with my dad. I helped my mom a little bit around the house, but..." Clark shrugged.
Lex's frown didn't ease much. That sounds normal...
"When I got older, though, I started helping out with chores and with the spring planting, and all of it. The plant was hiring, and some of the workers wanted to move on, and it sort of... worked out. I took on more responsibilities, and we had less and less farmhands. When I got old enough to really help properly was when Earl Jenkins finally moved on to working at the fertilizer plant -- he was the last one to stay on."
So Clark equates a lack of usefulness at home with being a child? ...Well, that would explain things a bit, especially Clark's insistence on paying for things and wanting them to split the staff duties equally -- he was trying to act 'adult' (even if he was technically trying to do so by Lex's standard of living). Lex shouldn't have been so surprised -- he was moving away from home and trying to be the only one completely responsible for himself and his canine charge, after all. With someone unable to pay for staff to do things for him, that would mean doing all of the things he had been insisting upon himself.
Clark sighed, then said, "Me and my dad weren't really enough to keep the farm running smoothly -- not like it should. One of the reasons mom had suggested we go organic was so we could raise prices on less food output." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little embarrassed. "We never farmed the back forty ourselves -- not once we didn't have the hands to help, anymore." He looked up at Lex. "But we could have. We could have hired another 'hand or two and done that. Everything would have been a lot easier, and we could have afforded it. It would have balanced out. We could have been making money, every year, instead of having so much trouble making ends meet." Clark frowned. "We could have just rented it out, even."
But the farm was in near-bankruptcy, and mortgaged twice since I've been in town, Lex thought. He knew that the one time had been because Clark had apparently run off and not been able to help, and his father had had to leave the farm fallow looking for him, but... that didn't explain the first mortgage they'd been on, even before Lex had arrived in town. It blew his mind that they'd had an out and hadn't taken it. "If you could have done that, then why didn't you?"
Clark shrugged. "It wasn't my call. Dad was stubborn. Mom didn't want to push. We didn't think we could find anybody who'd want to work for the lower living wages when they could just get a job at the plant down the road. If we hired someone and they started to help out, waiting for a job someplace else, and then just walked off the farm in the middle of things, the crops would've been left to rot in the fields with things half-done. We would've lost more money that way than we were risking just trying to keep things afloat on our own. ...I guess we could have tried looking anyway and had whoever sign a year-long work contract." Clark shrugged again and looked away. "We could have done a lot of things, but... at the end of the day, it was our farm, and we all pitched in." He looked at Lex dead-on. "But if we had had another two or three hands, I probably wouldn't have had to do anything to help out with the farm at all, like it had been when I was little."
Lex doubted that Clark's parents would have let him get away with that, and apparently it showed on his face, because Clark nodded.
"I've always had chores and work to do at home, Lex." He tried, one more time. "I've always felt like I've had to pitch in. Like I wanted to. Like I could." He clenched his jaw and glanced away. "I don't like feeling... useless, exactly." He bit his lip slightly. "I... that's not really the right word for it," he sighed, sounding frustrated. He looked back to Lex. "I... I mean, I know I've got a job at the Planet now, and I know that isn't really... a good way to explain it, but..."
He stopped when he saw Lex shaking his head.
Clark really is thinking of this as trying to be an adult. No wonder he's been so frustrated with me about this. I've been blind to the fact that he has grown up, somewhat, and what that means for him. Clark had always been very responsible, even at fourteen; that was probably part of why Lex had had such difficulty seeing the changes that did happen.
"I'm an idiot," Lex said.
Clark stared at him.
"You're not--!"
Lex held up a hand as he pushed himself out of his chair and started rummaging about after pens and a pad of paper. "No, it's fine. At the end of the day, I'm a negotiator. I negotiate. I need to understand a person's vocabulary to converse with them, to talk them into and out of things. I've been going about this all wrong with you, Clark." He walked back over to the couch and tossed the pad of paper down onto the coffee table in front of Clark.
Clark gave him a 'huh?' look. "This isn't a business negotiation, Lex--"
"In a sense, it is," Lex overrode him. "We're just negotiating a living agreement instead of a business contract. For this sort of arrangement to work... well, everyone learns this at some point in their lives," Lex smiled as he smoothly slid down onto the couch next to Clark. "I just keep forgetting that your college experience was limited, and thus, so was your college vocabulary."
"Hey, now!" Clark objected. "I did just fine in my classes, and--"
"Not your coursework vocabulary, Clark," Lex said, soothing ruffled feathers. "Your social one."
Clark frowned, confused. Lex wasn't surprised. "Clark, you've never had a roommate."
"Lois," Clark pointed out.
"Not the same," Lex said. "I'm talking about someone you literally had to share the same room with, without parents or some arbitrary authority figure around to enforce domestic bliss. Dormitory life."
"You lived in the dorms in college?" Clark asked, crossing his arms and looking at Lex askance. From his tone, it sounded as though he was finding this hard to believe.
"Well, no," Lex said, pausing as he uncapped a black felt-tip marker. "But I did have several friends who did, and I did live in the school dormitories throughout my stay at Excelsior," he explained, as he started drawing lines on the paper, making columns and cross-marks. "It's not surprising that you've been having trouble articulating what you're feeling -- what's surprising was that you were able to articulate it at all, lacking the proper vocabulary and relevant life experience," Lex smiled over at him.
With a flourish, Lex capped the marker and casually tossed it onto the table. He scooped up a clicker-pen and pushed the tip out.
"What we need," Lex said ponderously, the wisdom of the ages behind him, "is a list of responsibilities and chores."
"...Isn't that what we've been talking about?" Clark said tiredly.
"No," said Lex. "We were arguing over who paid for what. This," Lex proclaimed, "is different."
"Look," Lex said, labeling the rows and columns of the table. On the rows, he listed: food, clothing, rent, utilities, chores and miscellaneous responsibilities. On the columns he wrote: supplies, actions.
"This is my current breakdown," Lex said, and with the purple-ink pen, he filled it in like so:
supplies
actions
food
misc. list for pantry to cook
kitchen stock for meals
budget, fees for delivery
salary to cook for meals
clothing
orders to/from tailor (closet)
bills for dry cleaning
bills for pickup/delivery service
rent
n/a
stay employed as a good CEO :)
utilities
satellite, cable, internet
electricity, gas
monthly bill
n/a (part of nonexistent rent)
chores
& misc.
respons.
trash bags, containers
misc cleaning supplies
bills for disposal (business docs)
bills for cleaning service
(Lex was particularly proud of the smiley face, because it also garnered him one from Clark when he spotted it.)
"Now," said Lex, feeling satisfied already, expecting an acceptable resolution momentarily, "Some of these things, such as rent, are not things to which you need to contribute." He held up a hand again before Clark could interrupt. "This details my routine. I suspect that you wish to contribute in such a way that you feel as though your addition to my household is not a burden, correct?"
Clark blinked at him for a moment. "Um... I guess?" He thought it through a little more. "Yes. That's... fair," he said slowly.
"And I would like you to understand how this is different from what we were butting heads about earlier." When Clark frowned again, Lex explained. "Splitting all living expenses and chores fifty-fifty is not the same as contributing in an equitable manner and fair manner. There are some things I need, and some things you need, and these lists are not necessarily the same, yes? You don't necessarily need to live in a large apartment, for instance, but I do, because the status of doing so is important to the other CEOs who I have to cut deals with."
Lex paused a moment, thinking of how he could explain this to Clark. "If they do not see me spending money on such things and living in a particular lifestyle, they will think I am not rich or cannot afford such things, which reflects badly on my business and my abilities at such, in turn. Many businessmen equate such status symbols with power, and some men simply won't do business with someone who does not seem to function at their level of society."
"Is that why you live in the mansion in Smallville, instead of just a house?" Clark asked, looking a little curious.
Lex nodded. "Partly it is status," -- partly it is my father having thrown his weight around all those years ago and my not wanting to leave the place empty and unused, going to waste -- "and partly it is because I do need the space. I can use the large ballrooms and dining rooms to host social gatherings with business partners, and the library is a professional-looking space in which I can conduct impromptu business meetings when necessary."
"Oh," said Clark, frowning in thought.
Lex nodded. "Think of it this way, Clark -- if someone came by the farm and wanted to buy produce from you, would you hide the tractors and other farm equipment away in the barn? Or let the fence around your crops fall into disrepair?"
"Well, no," Clark said promptly. "That'd be kind of stupid. They'd think we were lazy and didn't own our own equipment instead of having to rent-- ...Oh."
Lex smiled.
"...So, because you'd have to have space like that somewhere ...why not have it always available at the mansion where people can see it, and you can use it whenever you want?"
Lex's eyebrows went up slightly as he nodded. He hadn't expected Clark to make that connection.
"Hm." Clark settled back into the couch a bit. "I guess that makes sense." He looked over at Lex again. "I still think it's kind of stupid that you have to do things because of what other people think or you'll have trouble at work, though. It's not like we own our tractors or patch up the fences to keep larger animals out of the fields because of other people -- we do it because it makes our work easier, not because other people think we should or they'll be snooty about it and won't do business with us."
...Well, that was just a punch to the gut. Lex wasn't sure if he should feel a little jealous or not.
Not likely. He's in the corporate world now, even if it's the lowest rung of the ladder at a news organization. Even the differing reactions he'd receive in the workplace when in 'proper attire' versus not were going to be a rude awakening for him.
Lex shook off the thought -- he'd promised not to intervene at work for Clark, after all -- and picked up his orignial train of thought. "In any event, since you are coming into a pre-existing living arrangement, it would not be fair to ask you to contribute as much towards things that you would otherwise be perfectly comfortable living without, yes?"
Clark looked a tad suspicious, as though he thought Lex was going to try and spring an argument on him not to contribute anything at all, but he still said, "I... guess so."
"Good," Lex said with a smile. "Now." He took a breath -- here came the hardest part. "I do not pay rent or basic utilities on the Penthouse. --Even if I did," he said quickly, trying to forestall the argument, "I would be paying for them out of my own pocket regardless of whether you were staying here or not. It make no logical sense for you to pay rent to me, when I myself do not have to, and it would be very difficult for me to properly assess the rental value of the Penthouse on the open market, and then further attempt to determine how much sharing the space would cost. You understand?"
"But--"
Lex had a flash of brilliance. "Did Lois pay your parents rent when she was staying at the farm?"
Clark looked almost offended. "No, but-- Lex, I don't want to be a freeloader!"
"You won't be," Lex assured him promptly. "We're only discussing the rent and utilities."
Clark looked about to argue again, but then he... stopped for a moment, thinking. And then he nodded and relaxed.
Lex gave a mental sigh of relief, though he felt a bit odd at the fact that his reassurance that Clark would have to contribute was what had finally put him at ease.
I wasn't against him contributing per se, I just didn't like how unreasonable he was being in his demands. Had he really came across sounding that way to him? Well, no matter -- at least that's settled now.
"All right Clark, let's move on to the rest of the list."
Clark sighed and looked a little apprehensive.
"Now, if you want to help pay for the TV and internet hookup, you may, but I doubt that your usage will have any effect on mine, so I'd recommend just not worrying about that since I'd be paying for it anyway."
Clark's frown deepened a little more, but he shrugged assent.
"All right. That leaves food, clothing, and general responsibilities. The rest of these things are something that we can split in an equitable manner," Lex said.
Clark sat up a little straighter. Good.
"Equitable, not equal," Lex stressed. "I very much doubt that we ought to be sharing a clothes budget that we split down the middle."
Clark unsuccessfully tried to suppress a snicker and a smile.
Lex smiled, glad that he'd gotten his point across with humor so easily.
"I assume that you will want to have full control over your mode of dress, and so will acquire clothing and shoes as necessary. If you want to use the dry cleaning service, I think that pickup and delivery should be left to me, and that you would only pay the fees for the actual garment cleaning."
"If it's cheap enough, sure, I guess," Clark said.
Lex nodded. "I honestly wouldn't know. I assume that there would be a tradeoff between the time spent moving the garments between here and the cleaners yourself, as well as how quickly they are ready for retrieval, as well as the cost." He glanced up at Clark again. "It's about a day's turnaround -- sent off in the morning, and back again by the evening at the latest."
Clark bit his lip. "That's pretty quick."
"I suppose," Lex returned. "If you need something done that quickly, however..."
Clark nodded.
"If you plan on wearing clothing that does not require dry cleaning, then you would either have to do the laundry yourself, using the washer and dryer unit in the Penthouse, or help pay the cleaning service, as that is also part of their general cleaning duties."
"I think I'll do my own laundry," Clark said with a slight smile.
Lex nodded in good-natured agreement.
"So: food and general responsibilities." He stopped for a moment to gather himself. "Again: equitable, not equal. Clark, I need you to realize that some of these things that I have listed here are not something that I am willing to give up, especially the staff services, for what I would consider to be my share of the common household duties." He glanced over at Clark. "I work hard, I have the money for it, and I don't feel like wasting my time on menial tasks when I have deadlines or other responsibilities which would be a better and more efficient use of my time."
Clark nodded, frowning slightly, but not seeming upset at the thought. Well, good. Lex had been a little worried that Jonathan's son might have objected to the slightly heavy-handed use of privilege there, with the way he had talked of dealing with the 'money issue' earlier: not using any of the staff services and both of them splitting things like doing the dishes and making meals.
"And I seriously doubt that for most of the dusting, trash removal duties, and similar, that your presence here would add much more work, since you don't seem inclined to create large messes in general living areas." After all, the ground floor of the farmhouse had always seemed clean. A bit cluttered, but clean.
Clark sighed and shrugged, though he didn't exactly look happy about it. "If I do make a big mess, I'm going to clean it up myself, though."
"I'm sure that would make the cleaning staff very happy," Lex agreed. "Now, in regards to food, I can certainly afford to feed you--"
"Lex--"
"No, stop. Just stop for a moment," Lex interrupted. "My cook hates the fact that she cooks so little. You would be doing me a favor and helping me keep her happy -- and keep her around -- if you--"
"Lex, I eat a lot of food," Clark said, looking uncomfortable.
"Yes, yes, I know. Even better," Lex waved him off.
"No, Lex, you don't understand," Clark said, sounding frustrated in the extreme. "I--" He glanced away, looking embarrassed. He seemed to steel himself, took a deep breath, and began. "My mom and dad always said that I eat enough for three farmhands. Andtheytotallyweren'tjoking," he ended in a rush.
Lex turned to look at him full-on, and took in the blush, the slump of Clark's shoulders, and the way he was staring at his hands between his knees.
"So... what you're saying is that pretty much every meal you ever took at the mansion was a... nice snack?"
He watched Clark's blush deepen and his shoulders hunch inward a little more.
"I see," Lex said. He thought for a moment. Then he said, carefully, not wanting Clark to feel any further embarrassment than he was suffering at present, "Well, my cook does know how to make meals of a more... simple fare," he began. "Not everything has to be fillet minon and truffles," he said gently. "Perhaps a reasonable balance would be for you to either help buy or supply some of the foodstuffs that you consume most, and to help with or simply take over the cooking some days or nights. Cook doesn't usually get much time off, and she always worries whenever she might need to find a last-minute replacement. She would love the peace of mind, if nothing else."
Over the course of Lex's short speech, Clark's demeanor changed drastically. By the end of it, he was looking a little sheepish and nodding along gratefully.
"I can go on trips to help buy the kitchen supplies," Clark said. "I was sort of expecting that I'd be paying for my own meals, no matter what."
"You consider yourself that much of an impositon?" Lex couldn't help but ask.
Clark grimaced and looked away. "Geez, Lex. You offered your place as somewhere to sleep at night, not as a... a soup kitchen."
Lex suddenly realized with a gross sinking feeling exactly how little Clark had thought Lex was offering that morning.
Lex placed a hand over Clark's knee and said, "Clark, if I thought that you wouldn't mind, I'd just pay for all of it. You know that, right? I wasn't just offering my bed; I'm offering my home."
Clark's head swiveled up at that. He looked absolutely stunned, and the expression in his eyes was...
Lex swallowed down a nervous cough and looked back down at his list, patting Clark's knee once before removing his hand again. "Now, as for what you may normally consider 'chores'..."
"Shelby's my responsibility."
Lex nodded along to that. He passed over the list and sat back, waiting patiently as Clark frowned over it.
"You said that the cleaning service takes care of laundry and dusting and... trash removal? What all do they do?"
Lex felt a little lost. Wasn't it obvious? "They clean."
"Clean what?"
"Everything."
"...Everything?"
Lex nodded.
"Um, okay..." Clark said, sounding a little puzzled. "What rooms do they clean?"
"All of them."
Clark stared at him for a moment.
"All of them?"
I have an echo... Lex thought with a mental sigh. "Yes."
"Even the bedroom and bathroom?"
"Bedrooms and bathrooms, plural," Lex absently corrected as he frowned. "Of course they do." Why wouldn't they? Lex thought, but then he realized how taken aback Clark was at this pronouncement.
"Lex, that's..." Clark looked almost nervous. "You... have people go into your... bedroom? And do stuff?"
"They clean daily, but I do believe that they have some tasks they perform on a weekly schedule," Lex said, wondering at Clark's reaction. "Is there a problem?"
"A... problem?" Clark looked at him funny, and started to say something and stopped again twice before he finally got out, in a neutral, careful sort of tone, "Don't you have anyplace in the Penthouse that's just yours?"
Lex frowned. "The whole Penthouse is--"
"No, Lex. I mean, someplace that only you go. That only you put stuff in, that you know nobody will look at, or mess around with, or... well, anything. Someplace private."
Lex stared at him for awhile. "Is that... important?" he asked, finally.
"Oh god, Lex, haven't you ever had anyplace that--?" Clark looked like the thought was almost causing him pain. "Ok. Um. What about..." Clark thought for a minute, then winced, roolled his eyes skyward, and said, "Uh, the, uh... The Room...? Did, uh, did anybody else...?" He pointedly did not look at Lex as he said this.
Lex did not feel comfortable rehashing old grievances between them, even when it did not involve a screaming fit. He took a deep breath, before saying, "I... tended to shutdown the simulations and lock down the computers before I left the room. The cleaning staff I employ are trained not to snoop, and well compensated for their trust and their compliance." He cleared his throat lightly. "They are generally the same staff I trust not to perform some sabotage, blackmail, or corporate espionage on any business documents or data that may be out and open in the library, or anywhere else in the mansion."
For some reason this did not seem to make Clark feel any better. "Look," Clark said, "I'm happy to clean the bedroom and bathroom and stuff all by myself, change sheets, do laundry, whatever--"
"Clark--" Lex said, wincing.
"--but I do not feel comfortable with some strangers coming into our rooms all the time, whenever, and doing stuff."
"'ll be 'coming in and doing stuff'," Lex pointed out.
"You'll be living there. It's different."
Lex noted Clark's closed-off posture and sighed. This looked like a deal-breaker.
"All right," Lex gave in. "You can clean our... 'private' rooms," -- and I hope you understand the distinction between that and the entire Penthouse suite, or I see another argument in the near future -- "but I expect a level of cleanliness equal to or better than the staff."
"Sure, fine," Clark said. "I helped clean at home all the time."
Lex sighed and sent a prayer to the heavens. He remembered what Clark's room looked like during his teenage years. God, please let him have grown up and become a little more responsible in at least that regard... And not too tired at the beginning and end of the workday to take care of things, but then he'd been accustomed to a farm schedule for years, so as long as he was capable...
...Of course, he'd heard that the good Lord tended to help those who helped themselves rather than going around borrowing trouble, and since he was borrowing Clark and his trouble, it was probably a futile gesture.
Lex noticed Shelby stand up from where he'd been lying at Clark's feet and wander off into the kitchen, tail wagging.
"Is there anything else here that you think I might have left out?" Lex said, leaning into Clark a little and eyeing the list, to which he'd been adding Clark's contributions in blue (because red was too eye-piercing next to purple and black).
Clark gave it another once-over before shaking his head. "I don't think so. Not right now, anyway."
Lex let out a sigh of relief and took the pad back from Clark and tossed it onto the coffee table surface, then slumped back -- er, reclined -- a bit into the back of the couch with another soft sigh.
He updated his mental tally on the number of times he'd touched or lightly rubbed up against Clark's side since he'd sat down on the couch next to him, and came to a somewhat sad and possibly disturbing conclusion.
Just to be sure, though, he reached up and stroked his fingers under Clark's chin.
Clark... didn't quite freeze in place, but he nearly held his breath as he didn't move until Lex pulled his arm back again.
Damn. No real reaction.
"Um, Lex?" Clark said.
"Yes?"
"Were you... I mean, did you want to..." Clark asked tentatively.
Lex looked over at him, and then mentally cursed himself.
"Would you like something to drink?" Lex offered.
"God, yes! --Please," Clark said in a rush.
Shy. Of course he is. And not about to make the first move. How could I forget that? Lex thought as he got up and walked his way into the kitchen.
He skirted the dish on the floor and Clark's dog beside it, who was munching away at leftover foodbits out of it. He had a moment's indecision before he retrieved a pair of wineglasses and a not-overly-expensive bottle of wine and a corkscrew.
He brought all of this out to the central living space, and as he gazed down at Clark, looking slighly nervous -- almost ansy -- as he sat there, leaning forward and frowning over the list as he read it through once more, Lex realized what he had forgotten to go through with Clark.
The social aspects, Lex groaned to himself. They'd both been so caught up in determining how to handle the fiscal responsibilities that they'd completely ignored...
Well, we can just figure it out as we go along, Lex thought firmly. It's probably for the best. Neither of us knows how things may work out as it is, and if I set up boundaries now, Clark won't want to cross them later. Best keep it fluid.
Besides, it wasn't as though Clark was the type to play loud music at all hours (Lex was), bring home loose women from god-knew-where (ha!), or set things on fire indiscriminately (not that Lex didn't have some really fun lab areas set up for those sort of things).
He didn't smoke (ever), drink (though Lex was hoping to change that), or do drugs (only once in a blue moon, anyway). He wasn't going to pawn off Lex's belongings for cash. Lex knew how to be a reasonable housemate, in turn.
Lex slid down onto the couch next to Clark -- careful not to lean up against him, yet -- and placed the wineglasses on the coffee table. He opened the wine, briefly let it air, and then poured them both goodly portions. He picked up both glasses and offered one to Clark.
Clark took it and downed it in one long gulp not unlike a shot of whiskey.
Lex blinked at this.
"More?" Lex asked as he sipped at his.
Clark turned slightly pink in embarrassment. "Yes, please," he said quietly, nodding.
Lex took it from Clark's outstretched hand, set down his own, and refilled it, before handing it back.
Clark drank it a little slower this time. Marginally.
Lex sat back slowly as Clark reached forward and refilled it again on his own.
"Clark, that may not be as strong as whiskey, bourbon, or scotch, but..." Lex began.
"I'll be fine," Clark said, sitting back and taking it in smaller gulps, this time with a little air inbetween.
Lex slid a little closer right up against Clark, with a slightly narrowed gaze, watching him.
Clark, staring straight ahead, jumped slightly at the contact, then took another gulp to finish it off, let the glass dangle from his hand between his legs, and slumped back into the cushions. He relaxed and let his head fall back, staring at the ceiling for a moment. He closed his eyes and blew out a breath, long and quiet.
"Sorry," Clark said lowly. "I just..."
"Feeling... a little more relaxed?" Lex asked.
Clark nodded slightly, then turned his head and opened his eyes to look over at Lex.
"Are you..." Clark paused. "Are you really ok with... this?" he asked.
It occurs to me that I may not have been the only one wondering if someone else was having second thoughts, Lex realized.
Lex decided that the best response to this was to take Clark's glass, set both on the coffee table, and then swing a leg over Clark's lap, sitting up atop him.
Clark's eyes went wide and he drew in a startled breath.
"What do you think?" Lex said, bringing his hands up to cup Clark's face and slowly, lightly trailing his fingers down the sides of Clark's jawline, as he had this morning.
"Um," Clark said quietly.
Do I really need to spell this out? ...Apparently I do.
"Yes. Yes, Clark. I am 'ok' with this, yes," Lex said.
And then he leaned forward and kissed him.
Clark's hands immediately circled his waist and pulled him in.
Lex smiled against Clark's mouth, then deepened the kiss, while letting himself slowly relax fully up against Clark's chest, conforming to every inch of him.
He both heard and felt Clark whimper under him, and Clark's large, strong hands fluttered against his back, before one hand slid up between his shoulder blades, and the other ended up wrapped around his back completely, holding him at his other hip.
Lex felt very... contained.
He was ok with this.
Lex slowly broke away from the kiss.
"...Lex?" Clark asked, once he had his breath back.
Lex just smiled down at him as he dropped his hands down to Clark's chest.
And then he leaned in, past his mouth, down to his neck, and lightly nipped Clark by the underside of his jaw.
"Ah!" Clark exclaimed, jumping slightly, but his head tilted farther back.
Lex allowed himself a quick grin, moved a little farther down, and then gave Clark a sucking kiss at the soft, smooth skin of his neckline.
Clark shivered and groaned softly, almost writhing after awhile before Lex broke it off.
Lex licked at it, a quick flicker of tongue, and got a jolt and a whimper from Clark for his trouble.
He slid his hands around to Clark's sides as he pushed himself back up to look at him straight-on.
Clark already looked thoroughly ravished -- eyes slitted, neck fully exposed, high blush, breathing slightly erratically -- and lord, Lex hadn't even got started.
Lex's eyes slid a little lower in pleasure, because he was. Quite pleased, in fact.
"Did you like that?" he asked Clark.
"Y-yes," Clark said breathily, biting his lip and looking up at him with pupils blown out wide.
"Good," Lex said, with a deep undertone and a smirk. "You should enjoy this. I want you to tell me when you do, and if you don't."
"Okay..." Clark breathed out, but his expression read a different story.
Like he didn't think anything Lex might do could be bad.
Lex's breath caught for a moment.
Then he slowly leaned forward at a torturous pace and recaptured Clark's mouth.
He broke away slightly, turned his head, deepened the kiss, and brought his hands up to Clark's jawline again.
He stroked and massaged at it gently, teasing at Clark's lips from time to time with his tongue, and when Clark was finally so overwhelmed with sensation that his jaw loosened without conscious thought, Lex dove in.
He felt Clark shudder and grasp at him again as his tongue invaded Clark's mouth and slid along his tongue.
Clark really didn't know what to do, it seemed.
So Lex taught him.
With actions, not words.
(Lex barely spared Lana a disdainful thought for being so very neglectful in this regard, because, really, what had she done with him? Anything at all?)
(Well, he was Lex's, now. Lex would be perfectly happy to teach him properly, and continue to do so.)
And, once he was done teasing Clark in this manner, he gentled him, and felt the odd vibrating tension in Clark slowly drain out of every inch of him, to be replaced with an easy, heavy lassitude.
A calm, gentle one.
Lex was startled when he slowly withdrew his tongue and Clark followed him into his mouth.
Lex grasped at Clark's shoulders and nearly bodily pushed himself away, but for the hand now at his neck, gently holding him in place.
And then that strong, gentle hand at the back of his neck stroked down to the base of it and Lex felt a shuddering tension in his shoulders reflexively ease for a moment.
Lex squeezed his eyelids closed to force them to stay shut, and shivered slightly as Clark sucked at his tongue and then licked at the roof of his mouth.
He shivered again as Clark repeated this, stroking the back of his neck again, so very gently -- not gripping him tightly, not forcing him to be still, not trying to control him, just-- there, and--
He let himself sag against Clark, let himself relax, because, well, this was the sort of thing that would fool Clark, yes? He would think that Lex was enjoying this, too, this act of kissing and touching a male, and--
Lex shivered again as Clark slowly pulled away, while Lex, still leaning up against him, worked to control his breathing as he opened his eyes and stared into Clark's green ones.
Clark slowly smiled at him, looking peaceful and content.
"I changed my mind; I think I like being drunk," he shared, as though it had been the subject of much deliberation and long debate.
Lex couldn't help but let out a single hysterical little laugh.
Clark just smiled, cupped Lex's cheek, and kissed him again.
~*~*~*~*~*~
They eventually ended up in bed, tangled together, fully-clothed again, still.
~*~*~*~*~*~
It was the best night's sleep Lex had ever had for the second time.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Clark was warm.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Shelby really was a smart dog -- he never intruded into the same room when they'd began, and never stayed and watched.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Lex fell asleep with a smile on his face, and woke up with a smile on his face.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Lex belatedly remembered on their fifth night together in the Penthouse (as Clark was smiling at him over a large helping of steak and potatoes, after having been trailing little kisses up his neck in bed and their needing to stop for dinner before it got too cold) that he was supposed to be getting revenge on Lana, and the vague almost-forgotten notion that having Clark was supposed to be a part of this. Somehow, he'd gotten distracted from making this a priority.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Lex was in trouble.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Author: josephina_x
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Clark, Lex
Rating: R (because of light M/M action)
Spoilers: major for 7x10 Persona, goes wildly AU after that
Word count: 6500+
Summary: Clark and Lex come to some sort of an agreement on living arrangements, and then Clark explores all the good parts of the Penthouse (Lex). And then Lex explores him. Shelby explores... around. Elsewhere. Shoo. (Good dog.)
Warnings: Un-beta'd.
Disclaimer: Not mine, not-for-profit.
Comments: Yes, please! :)
Author's Note: Equal-blame for this lies with nicnac918. (Doesn't it always?)
Slightly less worse, for varying values of "worse."
Also posted to AO3, if you'd rather read there.
Fifth in the Divergent Persona series:
--first is "Crying Into Scotch" ( here on LJ, here on AO3),
--second is "Sweet, Cold Revenge (...sort of)" ( here on LJ, here on AO3),
--third is "...What The Hell Just Happened?" ( here on LJ, here on AO3),
-- fourth is "Life Happens (...Well, Shit)" ( here on LJ, here on AO3).
~*~*~*~*~*~
After he and Clark had been bickering for the last fifteen minutes or so about fiscal responsibility and how Clark did-or-didn't need to contribute to Lex's household, and couldn't afford to help pay for things in a 50/50 split besides, the two of them were both frustrated and about to give up.
"I don't know why you're so against this, Lex!" Clark said, exasperated.
"And I don't see why you can't just stay here, not worry so much about the details of every little thing, and just be happy about it," Lex grumbled.
"Lex!" Clark exclaimed. Shelby whined at his feet, and Clark glanced down at his dog. He grimaced, then rubbed the top of the dog's head as he huffed out a breath, trying to calm down and regain control of his temper, again. "I told you, I'm not going to be able to be happy if I don't do something like help with the rent."
"I don't pay rent," Lex explained for the twentieth time. "It's a perk of being the CEO."
"I know that, but--"
"--and so having you pay rent to me for staying here is silly. Not to mention that you couldn't afford even a part of how much this place would charge if it was being rented out," Lex said, leaning forward in his chair and staring Clark in the eyes.
Clark sighed and looked away as he leaned back into the sofa, frustrated all over again. "...Look, I get that, but it's just... like..." Clark grasped about, searching for the right words. "--I won't be comfortable staying here if I'm... feeling like I'm wandering around as a guest in a hotel room that isn't even mine. --Maybe you could be, but I can't," he added quickly.
Lex ran a hand over the top of his skull. He'd had board meetings with his father in the room that went better than this. Recent ones, even.
"Look, Lex..." Clark tried again. "I don't know how else to explain this. It's like... like..." he grimaced and continued. "Ok, this isn't perfect, but-- when I was little, we had hands working on the farm."
Lex frowned slightly and sat up a little straighter, taking notice. Clark didn't share stories of his home life often, especially from when he was younger (he'd been even less talkative about it after Jonathan had passed away, even before their friendship had begun to tear itself apart).
"I was too little to do anything, and they did pretty much all the work with my dad. I helped my mom a little bit around the house, but..." Clark shrugged.
Lex's frown didn't ease much. That sounds normal...
"When I got older, though, I started helping out with chores and with the spring planting, and all of it. The plant was hiring, and some of the workers wanted to move on, and it sort of... worked out. I took on more responsibilities, and we had less and less farmhands. When I got old enough to really help properly was when Earl Jenkins finally moved on to working at the fertilizer plant -- he was the last one to stay on."
So Clark equates a lack of usefulness at home with being a child? ...Well, that would explain things a bit, especially Clark's insistence on paying for things and wanting them to split the staff duties equally -- he was trying to act 'adult' (even if he was technically trying to do so by Lex's standard of living). Lex shouldn't have been so surprised -- he was moving away from home and trying to be the only one completely responsible for himself and his canine charge, after all. With someone unable to pay for staff to do things for him, that would mean doing all of the things he had been insisting upon himself.
Clark sighed, then said, "Me and my dad weren't really enough to keep the farm running smoothly -- not like it should. One of the reasons mom had suggested we go organic was so we could raise prices on less food output." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little embarrassed. "We never farmed the back forty ourselves -- not once we didn't have the hands to help, anymore." He looked up at Lex. "But we could have. We could have hired another 'hand or two and done that. Everything would have been a lot easier, and we could have afforded it. It would have balanced out. We could have been making money, every year, instead of having so much trouble making ends meet." Clark frowned. "We could have just rented it out, even."
But the farm was in near-bankruptcy, and mortgaged twice since I've been in town, Lex thought. He knew that the one time had been because Clark had apparently run off and not been able to help, and his father had had to leave the farm fallow looking for him, but... that didn't explain the first mortgage they'd been on, even before Lex had arrived in town. It blew his mind that they'd had an out and hadn't taken it. "If you could have done that, then why didn't you?"
Clark shrugged. "It wasn't my call. Dad was stubborn. Mom didn't want to push. We didn't think we could find anybody who'd want to work for the lower living wages when they could just get a job at the plant down the road. If we hired someone and they started to help out, waiting for a job someplace else, and then just walked off the farm in the middle of things, the crops would've been left to rot in the fields with things half-done. We would've lost more money that way than we were risking just trying to keep things afloat on our own. ...I guess we could have tried looking anyway and had whoever sign a year-long work contract." Clark shrugged again and looked away. "We could have done a lot of things, but... at the end of the day, it was our farm, and we all pitched in." He looked at Lex dead-on. "But if we had had another two or three hands, I probably wouldn't have had to do anything to help out with the farm at all, like it had been when I was little."
Lex doubted that Clark's parents would have let him get away with that, and apparently it showed on his face, because Clark nodded.
"I've always had chores and work to do at home, Lex." He tried, one more time. "I've always felt like I've had to pitch in. Like I wanted to. Like I could." He clenched his jaw and glanced away. "I don't like feeling... useless, exactly." He bit his lip slightly. "I... that's not really the right word for it," he sighed, sounding frustrated. He looked back to Lex. "I... I mean, I know I've got a job at the Planet now, and I know that isn't really... a good way to explain it, but..."
He stopped when he saw Lex shaking his head.
Clark really is thinking of this as trying to be an adult. No wonder he's been so frustrated with me about this. I've been blind to the fact that he has grown up, somewhat, and what that means for him. Clark had always been very responsible, even at fourteen; that was probably part of why Lex had had such difficulty seeing the changes that did happen.
"I'm an idiot," Lex said.
Clark stared at him.
"You're not--!"
Lex held up a hand as he pushed himself out of his chair and started rummaging about after pens and a pad of paper. "No, it's fine. At the end of the day, I'm a negotiator. I negotiate. I need to understand a person's vocabulary to converse with them, to talk them into and out of things. I've been going about this all wrong with you, Clark." He walked back over to the couch and tossed the pad of paper down onto the coffee table in front of Clark.
Clark gave him a 'huh?' look. "This isn't a business negotiation, Lex--"
"In a sense, it is," Lex overrode him. "We're just negotiating a living agreement instead of a business contract. For this sort of arrangement to work... well, everyone learns this at some point in their lives," Lex smiled as he smoothly slid down onto the couch next to Clark. "I just keep forgetting that your college experience was limited, and thus, so was your college vocabulary."
"Hey, now!" Clark objected. "I did just fine in my classes, and--"
"Not your coursework vocabulary, Clark," Lex said, soothing ruffled feathers. "Your social one."
Clark frowned, confused. Lex wasn't surprised. "Clark, you've never had a roommate."
"Lois," Clark pointed out.
"Not the same," Lex said. "I'm talking about someone you literally had to share the same room with, without parents or some arbitrary authority figure around to enforce domestic bliss. Dormitory life."
"You lived in the dorms in college?" Clark asked, crossing his arms and looking at Lex askance. From his tone, it sounded as though he was finding this hard to believe.
"Well, no," Lex said, pausing as he uncapped a black felt-tip marker. "But I did have several friends who did, and I did live in the school dormitories throughout my stay at Excelsior," he explained, as he started drawing lines on the paper, making columns and cross-marks. "It's not surprising that you've been having trouble articulating what you're feeling -- what's surprising was that you were able to articulate it at all, lacking the proper vocabulary and relevant life experience," Lex smiled over at him.
With a flourish, Lex capped the marker and casually tossed it onto the table. He scooped up a clicker-pen and pushed the tip out.
"What we need," Lex said ponderously, the wisdom of the ages behind him, "is a list of responsibilities and chores."
"...Isn't that what we've been talking about?" Clark said tiredly.
"No," said Lex. "We were arguing over who paid for what. This," Lex proclaimed, "is different."
"Look," Lex said, labeling the rows and columns of the table. On the rows, he listed: food, clothing, rent, utilities, chores and miscellaneous responsibilities. On the columns he wrote: supplies, actions.
"This is my current breakdown," Lex said, and with the purple-ink pen, he filled it in like so:
supplies
actions
food
misc. list for pantry to cook
kitchen stock for meals
budget, fees for delivery
salary to cook for meals
clothing
orders to/from tailor (closet)
bills for dry cleaning
bills for pickup/delivery service
rent
n/a
stay employed as a good CEO :)
utilities
satellite, cable, internet
electricity, gas
monthly bill
n/a (part of nonexistent rent)
chores
& misc.
respons.
trash bags, containers
misc cleaning supplies
bills for disposal (business docs)
bills for cleaning service
(Lex was particularly proud of the smiley face, because it also garnered him one from Clark when he spotted it.)
"Now," said Lex, feeling satisfied already, expecting an acceptable resolution momentarily, "Some of these things, such as rent, are not things to which you need to contribute." He held up a hand again before Clark could interrupt. "This details my routine. I suspect that you wish to contribute in such a way that you feel as though your addition to my household is not a burden, correct?"
Clark blinked at him for a moment. "Um... I guess?" He thought it through a little more. "Yes. That's... fair," he said slowly.
"And I would like you to understand how this is different from what we were butting heads about earlier." When Clark frowned again, Lex explained. "Splitting all living expenses and chores fifty-fifty is not the same as contributing in an equitable manner and fair manner. There are some things I need, and some things you need, and these lists are not necessarily the same, yes? You don't necessarily need to live in a large apartment, for instance, but I do, because the status of doing so is important to the other CEOs who I have to cut deals with."
Lex paused a moment, thinking of how he could explain this to Clark. "If they do not see me spending money on such things and living in a particular lifestyle, they will think I am not rich or cannot afford such things, which reflects badly on my business and my abilities at such, in turn. Many businessmen equate such status symbols with power, and some men simply won't do business with someone who does not seem to function at their level of society."
"Is that why you live in the mansion in Smallville, instead of just a house?" Clark asked, looking a little curious.
Lex nodded. "Partly it is status," -- partly it is my father having thrown his weight around all those years ago and my not wanting to leave the place empty and unused, going to waste -- "and partly it is because I do need the space. I can use the large ballrooms and dining rooms to host social gatherings with business partners, and the library is a professional-looking space in which I can conduct impromptu business meetings when necessary."
"Oh," said Clark, frowning in thought.
Lex nodded. "Think of it this way, Clark -- if someone came by the farm and wanted to buy produce from you, would you hide the tractors and other farm equipment away in the barn? Or let the fence around your crops fall into disrepair?"
"Well, no," Clark said promptly. "That'd be kind of stupid. They'd think we were lazy and didn't own our own equipment instead of having to rent-- ...Oh."
Lex smiled.
"...So, because you'd have to have space like that somewhere ...why not have it always available at the mansion where people can see it, and you can use it whenever you want?"
Lex's eyebrows went up slightly as he nodded. He hadn't expected Clark to make that connection.
"Hm." Clark settled back into the couch a bit. "I guess that makes sense." He looked over at Lex again. "I still think it's kind of stupid that you have to do things because of what other people think or you'll have trouble at work, though. It's not like we own our tractors or patch up the fences to keep larger animals out of the fields because of other people -- we do it because it makes our work easier, not because other people think we should or they'll be snooty about it and won't do business with us."
...Well, that was just a punch to the gut. Lex wasn't sure if he should feel a little jealous or not.
Not likely. He's in the corporate world now, even if it's the lowest rung of the ladder at a news organization. Even the differing reactions he'd receive in the workplace when in 'proper attire' versus not were going to be a rude awakening for him.
Lex shook off the thought -- he'd promised not to intervene at work for Clark, after all -- and picked up his orignial train of thought. "In any event, since you are coming into a pre-existing living arrangement, it would not be fair to ask you to contribute as much towards things that you would otherwise be perfectly comfortable living without, yes?"
Clark looked a tad suspicious, as though he thought Lex was going to try and spring an argument on him not to contribute anything at all, but he still said, "I... guess so."
"Good," Lex said with a smile. "Now." He took a breath -- here came the hardest part. "I do not pay rent or basic utilities on the Penthouse. --Even if I did," he said quickly, trying to forestall the argument, "I would be paying for them out of my own pocket regardless of whether you were staying here or not. It make no logical sense for you to pay rent to me, when I myself do not have to, and it would be very difficult for me to properly assess the rental value of the Penthouse on the open market, and then further attempt to determine how much sharing the space would cost. You understand?"
"But--"
Lex had a flash of brilliance. "Did Lois pay your parents rent when she was staying at the farm?"
Clark looked almost offended. "No, but-- Lex, I don't want to be a freeloader!"
"You won't be," Lex assured him promptly. "We're only discussing the rent and utilities."
Clark looked about to argue again, but then he... stopped for a moment, thinking. And then he nodded and relaxed.
Lex gave a mental sigh of relief, though he felt a bit odd at the fact that his reassurance that Clark would have to contribute was what had finally put him at ease.
I wasn't against him contributing per se, I just didn't like how unreasonable he was being in his demands. Had he really came across sounding that way to him? Well, no matter -- at least that's settled now.
"All right Clark, let's move on to the rest of the list."
Clark sighed and looked a little apprehensive.
"Now, if you want to help pay for the TV and internet hookup, you may, but I doubt that your usage will have any effect on mine, so I'd recommend just not worrying about that since I'd be paying for it anyway."
Clark's frown deepened a little more, but he shrugged assent.
"All right. That leaves food, clothing, and general responsibilities. The rest of these things are something that we can split in an equitable manner," Lex said.
Clark sat up a little straighter. Good.
"Equitable, not equal," Lex stressed. "I very much doubt that we ought to be sharing a clothes budget that we split down the middle."
Clark unsuccessfully tried to suppress a snicker and a smile.
Lex smiled, glad that he'd gotten his point across with humor so easily.
"I assume that you will want to have full control over your mode of dress, and so will acquire clothing and shoes as necessary. If you want to use the dry cleaning service, I think that pickup and delivery should be left to me, and that you would only pay the fees for the actual garment cleaning."
"If it's cheap enough, sure, I guess," Clark said.
Lex nodded. "I honestly wouldn't know. I assume that there would be a tradeoff between the time spent moving the garments between here and the cleaners yourself, as well as how quickly they are ready for retrieval, as well as the cost." He glanced up at Clark again. "It's about a day's turnaround -- sent off in the morning, and back again by the evening at the latest."
Clark bit his lip. "That's pretty quick."
"I suppose," Lex returned. "If you need something done that quickly, however..."
Clark nodded.
"If you plan on wearing clothing that does not require dry cleaning, then you would either have to do the laundry yourself, using the washer and dryer unit in the Penthouse, or help pay the cleaning service, as that is also part of their general cleaning duties."
"I think I'll do my own laundry," Clark said with a slight smile.
Lex nodded in good-natured agreement.
"So: food and general responsibilities." He stopped for a moment to gather himself. "Again: equitable, not equal. Clark, I need you to realize that some of these things that I have listed here are not something that I am willing to give up, especially the staff services, for what I would consider to be my share of the common household duties." He glanced over at Clark. "I work hard, I have the money for it, and I don't feel like wasting my time on menial tasks when I have deadlines or other responsibilities which would be a better and more efficient use of my time."
Clark nodded, frowning slightly, but not seeming upset at the thought. Well, good. Lex had been a little worried that Jonathan's son might have objected to the slightly heavy-handed use of privilege there, with the way he had talked of dealing with the 'money issue' earlier: not using any of the staff services and both of them splitting things like doing the dishes and making meals.
"And I seriously doubt that for most of the dusting, trash removal duties, and similar, that your presence here would add much more work, since you don't seem inclined to create large messes in general living areas." After all, the ground floor of the farmhouse had always seemed clean. A bit cluttered, but clean.
Clark sighed and shrugged, though he didn't exactly look happy about it. "If I do make a big mess, I'm going to clean it up myself, though."
"I'm sure that would make the cleaning staff very happy," Lex agreed. "Now, in regards to food, I can certainly afford to feed you--"
"Lex--"
"No, stop. Just stop for a moment," Lex interrupted. "My cook hates the fact that she cooks so little. You would be doing me a favor and helping me keep her happy -- and keep her around -- if you--"
"Lex, I eat a lot of food," Clark said, looking uncomfortable.
"Yes, yes, I know. Even better," Lex waved him off.
"No, Lex, you don't understand," Clark said, sounding frustrated in the extreme. "I--" He glanced away, looking embarrassed. He seemed to steel himself, took a deep breath, and began. "My mom and dad always said that I eat enough for three farmhands. Andtheytotallyweren'tjoking," he ended in a rush.
Lex turned to look at him full-on, and took in the blush, the slump of Clark's shoulders, and the way he was staring at his hands between his knees.
"So... what you're saying is that pretty much every meal you ever took at the mansion was a... nice snack?"
He watched Clark's blush deepen and his shoulders hunch inward a little more.
"I see," Lex said. He thought for a moment. Then he said, carefully, not wanting Clark to feel any further embarrassment than he was suffering at present, "Well, my cook does know how to make meals of a more... simple fare," he began. "Not everything has to be fillet minon and truffles," he said gently. "Perhaps a reasonable balance would be for you to either help buy or supply some of the foodstuffs that you consume most, and to help with or simply take over the cooking some days or nights. Cook doesn't usually get much time off, and she always worries whenever she might need to find a last-minute replacement. She would love the peace of mind, if nothing else."
Over the course of Lex's short speech, Clark's demeanor changed drastically. By the end of it, he was looking a little sheepish and nodding along gratefully.
"I can go on trips to help buy the kitchen supplies," Clark said. "I was sort of expecting that I'd be paying for my own meals, no matter what."
"You consider yourself that much of an impositon?" Lex couldn't help but ask.
Clark grimaced and looked away. "Geez, Lex. You offered your place as somewhere to sleep at night, not as a... a soup kitchen."
Lex suddenly realized with a gross sinking feeling exactly how little Clark had thought Lex was offering that morning.
Lex placed a hand over Clark's knee and said, "Clark, if I thought that you wouldn't mind, I'd just pay for all of it. You know that, right? I wasn't just offering my bed; I'm offering my home."
Clark's head swiveled up at that. He looked absolutely stunned, and the expression in his eyes was...
Lex swallowed down a nervous cough and looked back down at his list, patting Clark's knee once before removing his hand again. "Now, as for what you may normally consider 'chores'..."
"Shelby's my responsibility."
Lex nodded along to that. He passed over the list and sat back, waiting patiently as Clark frowned over it.
"You said that the cleaning service takes care of laundry and dusting and... trash removal? What all do they do?"
Lex felt a little lost. Wasn't it obvious? "They clean."
"Clean what?"
"Everything."
"...Everything?"
Lex nodded.
"Um, okay..." Clark said, sounding a little puzzled. "What rooms do they clean?"
"All of them."
Clark stared at him for a moment.
"All of them?"
I have an echo... Lex thought with a mental sigh. "Yes."
"Even the bedroom and bathroom?"
"Bedrooms and bathrooms, plural," Lex absently corrected as he frowned. "Of course they do." Why wouldn't they? Lex thought, but then he realized how taken aback Clark was at this pronouncement.
"Lex, that's..." Clark looked almost nervous. "You... have people go into your... bedroom? And do stuff?"
"They clean daily, but I do believe that they have some tasks they perform on a weekly schedule," Lex said, wondering at Clark's reaction. "Is there a problem?"
"A... problem?" Clark looked at him funny, and started to say something and stopped again twice before he finally got out, in a neutral, careful sort of tone, "Don't you have anyplace in the Penthouse that's just yours?"
Lex frowned. "The whole Penthouse is--"
"No, Lex. I mean, someplace that only you go. That only you put stuff in, that you know nobody will look at, or mess around with, or... well, anything. Someplace private."
Lex stared at him for awhile. "Is that... important?" he asked, finally.
"Oh god, Lex, haven't you ever had anyplace that--?" Clark looked like the thought was almost causing him pain. "Ok. Um. What about..." Clark thought for a minute, then winced, roolled his eyes skyward, and said, "Uh, the, uh... The Room...? Did, uh, did anybody else...?" He pointedly did not look at Lex as he said this.
Lex did not feel comfortable rehashing old grievances between them, even when it did not involve a screaming fit. He took a deep breath, before saying, "I... tended to shutdown the simulations and lock down the computers before I left the room. The cleaning staff I employ are trained not to snoop, and well compensated for their trust and their compliance." He cleared his throat lightly. "They are generally the same staff I trust not to perform some sabotage, blackmail, or corporate espionage on any business documents or data that may be out and open in the library, or anywhere else in the mansion."
For some reason this did not seem to make Clark feel any better. "Look," Clark said, "I'm happy to clean the bedroom and bathroom and stuff all by myself, change sheets, do laundry, whatever--"
"Clark--" Lex said, wincing.
"--but I do not feel comfortable with some strangers coming into our rooms all the time, whenever, and doing stuff."
"'ll be 'coming in and doing stuff'," Lex pointed out.
"You'll be living there. It's different."
Lex noted Clark's closed-off posture and sighed. This looked like a deal-breaker.
"All right," Lex gave in. "You can clean our... 'private' rooms," -- and I hope you understand the distinction between that and the entire Penthouse suite, or I see another argument in the near future -- "but I expect a level of cleanliness equal to or better than the staff."
"Sure, fine," Clark said. "I helped clean at home all the time."
Lex sighed and sent a prayer to the heavens. He remembered what Clark's room looked like during his teenage years. God, please let him have grown up and become a little more responsible in at least that regard... And not too tired at the beginning and end of the workday to take care of things, but then he'd been accustomed to a farm schedule for years, so as long as he was capable...
...Of course, he'd heard that the good Lord tended to help those who helped themselves rather than going around borrowing trouble, and since he was borrowing Clark and his trouble, it was probably a futile gesture.
Lex noticed Shelby stand up from where he'd been lying at Clark's feet and wander off into the kitchen, tail wagging.
"Is there anything else here that you think I might have left out?" Lex said, leaning into Clark a little and eyeing the list, to which he'd been adding Clark's contributions in blue (because red was too eye-piercing next to purple and black).
Clark gave it another once-over before shaking his head. "I don't think so. Not right now, anyway."
Lex let out a sigh of relief and took the pad back from Clark and tossed it onto the coffee table surface, then slumped back -- er, reclined -- a bit into the back of the couch with another soft sigh.
He updated his mental tally on the number of times he'd touched or lightly rubbed up against Clark's side since he'd sat down on the couch next to him, and came to a somewhat sad and possibly disturbing conclusion.
Just to be sure, though, he reached up and stroked his fingers under Clark's chin.
Clark... didn't quite freeze in place, but he nearly held his breath as he didn't move until Lex pulled his arm back again.
Damn. No real reaction.
"Um, Lex?" Clark said.
"Yes?"
"Were you... I mean, did you want to..." Clark asked tentatively.
Lex looked over at him, and then mentally cursed himself.
"Would you like something to drink?" Lex offered.
"God, yes! --Please," Clark said in a rush.
Shy. Of course he is. And not about to make the first move. How could I forget that? Lex thought as he got up and walked his way into the kitchen.
He skirted the dish on the floor and Clark's dog beside it, who was munching away at leftover foodbits out of it. He had a moment's indecision before he retrieved a pair of wineglasses and a not-overly-expensive bottle of wine and a corkscrew.
He brought all of this out to the central living space, and as he gazed down at Clark, looking slighly nervous -- almost ansy -- as he sat there, leaning forward and frowning over the list as he read it through once more, Lex realized what he had forgotten to go through with Clark.
The social aspects, Lex groaned to himself. They'd both been so caught up in determining how to handle the fiscal responsibilities that they'd completely ignored...
Well, we can just figure it out as we go along, Lex thought firmly. It's probably for the best. Neither of us knows how things may work out as it is, and if I set up boundaries now, Clark won't want to cross them later. Best keep it fluid.
Besides, it wasn't as though Clark was the type to play loud music at all hours (Lex was), bring home loose women from god-knew-where (ha!), or set things on fire indiscriminately (not that Lex didn't have some really fun lab areas set up for those sort of things).
He didn't smoke (ever), drink (though Lex was hoping to change that), or do drugs (only once in a blue moon, anyway). He wasn't going to pawn off Lex's belongings for cash. Lex knew how to be a reasonable housemate, in turn.
Lex slid down onto the couch next to Clark -- careful not to lean up against him, yet -- and placed the wineglasses on the coffee table. He opened the wine, briefly let it air, and then poured them both goodly portions. He picked up both glasses and offered one to Clark.
Clark took it and downed it in one long gulp not unlike a shot of whiskey.
Lex blinked at this.
"More?" Lex asked as he sipped at his.
Clark turned slightly pink in embarrassment. "Yes, please," he said quietly, nodding.
Lex took it from Clark's outstretched hand, set down his own, and refilled it, before handing it back.
Clark drank it a little slower this time. Marginally.
Lex sat back slowly as Clark reached forward and refilled it again on his own.
"Clark, that may not be as strong as whiskey, bourbon, or scotch, but..." Lex began.
"I'll be fine," Clark said, sitting back and taking it in smaller gulps, this time with a little air inbetween.
Lex slid a little closer right up against Clark, with a slightly narrowed gaze, watching him.
Clark, staring straight ahead, jumped slightly at the contact, then took another gulp to finish it off, let the glass dangle from his hand between his legs, and slumped back into the cushions. He relaxed and let his head fall back, staring at the ceiling for a moment. He closed his eyes and blew out a breath, long and quiet.
"Sorry," Clark said lowly. "I just..."
"Feeling... a little more relaxed?" Lex asked.
Clark nodded slightly, then turned his head and opened his eyes to look over at Lex.
"Are you..." Clark paused. "Are you really ok with... this?" he asked.
It occurs to me that I may not have been the only one wondering if someone else was having second thoughts, Lex realized.
Lex decided that the best response to this was to take Clark's glass, set both on the coffee table, and then swing a leg over Clark's lap, sitting up atop him.
Clark's eyes went wide and he drew in a startled breath.
"What do you think?" Lex said, bringing his hands up to cup Clark's face and slowly, lightly trailing his fingers down the sides of Clark's jawline, as he had this morning.
"Um," Clark said quietly.
Do I really need to spell this out? ...Apparently I do.
"Yes. Yes, Clark. I am 'ok' with this, yes," Lex said.
And then he leaned forward and kissed him.
Clark's hands immediately circled his waist and pulled him in.
Lex smiled against Clark's mouth, then deepened the kiss, while letting himself slowly relax fully up against Clark's chest, conforming to every inch of him.
He both heard and felt Clark whimper under him, and Clark's large, strong hands fluttered against his back, before one hand slid up between his shoulder blades, and the other ended up wrapped around his back completely, holding him at his other hip.
Lex felt very... contained.
He was ok with this.
Lex slowly broke away from the kiss.
"...Lex?" Clark asked, once he had his breath back.
Lex just smiled down at him as he dropped his hands down to Clark's chest.
And then he leaned in, past his mouth, down to his neck, and lightly nipped Clark by the underside of his jaw.
"Ah!" Clark exclaimed, jumping slightly, but his head tilted farther back.
Lex allowed himself a quick grin, moved a little farther down, and then gave Clark a sucking kiss at the soft, smooth skin of his neckline.
Clark shivered and groaned softly, almost writhing after awhile before Lex broke it off.
Lex licked at it, a quick flicker of tongue, and got a jolt and a whimper from Clark for his trouble.
He slid his hands around to Clark's sides as he pushed himself back up to look at him straight-on.
Clark already looked thoroughly ravished -- eyes slitted, neck fully exposed, high blush, breathing slightly erratically -- and lord, Lex hadn't even got started.
Lex's eyes slid a little lower in pleasure, because he was. Quite pleased, in fact.
"Did you like that?" he asked Clark.
"Y-yes," Clark said breathily, biting his lip and looking up at him with pupils blown out wide.
"Good," Lex said, with a deep undertone and a smirk. "You should enjoy this. I want you to tell me when you do, and if you don't."
"Okay..." Clark breathed out, but his expression read a different story.
Like he didn't think anything Lex might do could be bad.
Lex's breath caught for a moment.
Then he slowly leaned forward at a torturous pace and recaptured Clark's mouth.
He broke away slightly, turned his head, deepened the kiss, and brought his hands up to Clark's jawline again.
He stroked and massaged at it gently, teasing at Clark's lips from time to time with his tongue, and when Clark was finally so overwhelmed with sensation that his jaw loosened without conscious thought, Lex dove in.
He felt Clark shudder and grasp at him again as his tongue invaded Clark's mouth and slid along his tongue.
Clark really didn't know what to do, it seemed.
So Lex taught him.
With actions, not words.
(Lex barely spared Lana a disdainful thought for being so very neglectful in this regard, because, really, what had she done with him? Anything at all?)
(Well, he was Lex's, now. Lex would be perfectly happy to teach him properly, and continue to do so.)
And, once he was done teasing Clark in this manner, he gentled him, and felt the odd vibrating tension in Clark slowly drain out of every inch of him, to be replaced with an easy, heavy lassitude.
A calm, gentle one.
Lex was startled when he slowly withdrew his tongue and Clark followed him into his mouth.
Lex grasped at Clark's shoulders and nearly bodily pushed himself away, but for the hand now at his neck, gently holding him in place.
And then that strong, gentle hand at the back of his neck stroked down to the base of it and Lex felt a shuddering tension in his shoulders reflexively ease for a moment.
Lex squeezed his eyelids closed to force them to stay shut, and shivered slightly as Clark sucked at his tongue and then licked at the roof of his mouth.
He shivered again as Clark repeated this, stroking the back of his neck again, so very gently -- not gripping him tightly, not forcing him to be still, not trying to control him, just-- there, and--
He let himself sag against Clark, let himself relax, because, well, this was the sort of thing that would fool Clark, yes? He would think that Lex was enjoying this, too, this act of kissing and touching a male, and--
Lex shivered again as Clark slowly pulled away, while Lex, still leaning up against him, worked to control his breathing as he opened his eyes and stared into Clark's green ones.
Clark slowly smiled at him, looking peaceful and content.
"I changed my mind; I think I like being drunk," he shared, as though it had been the subject of much deliberation and long debate.
Lex couldn't help but let out a single hysterical little laugh.
Clark just smiled, cupped Lex's cheek, and kissed him again.
~*~*~*~*~*~
They eventually ended up in bed, tangled together, fully-clothed again, still.
~*~*~*~*~*~
It was the best night's sleep Lex had ever had for the second time.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Clark was warm.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Shelby really was a smart dog -- he never intruded into the same room when they'd began, and never stayed and watched.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Lex fell asleep with a smile on his face, and woke up with a smile on his face.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Lex belatedly remembered on their fifth night together in the Penthouse (as Clark was smiling at him over a large helping of steak and potatoes, after having been trailing little kisses up his neck in bed and their needing to stop for dinner before it got too cold) that he was supposed to be getting revenge on Lana, and the vague almost-forgotten notion that having Clark was supposed to be a part of this. Somehow, he'd gotten distracted from making this a priority.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Lex was in trouble.
~*~*~*~*~*~