I was so happy tour was over with. I tried to hide it from Joe but on a whole, tour was my least favorite thing ever. I got bored and there wasn't anything for me to do and Joe would never even consider letting me work for him so I was stuck just floating around the venues until he needed me. But all that floating time gave me enough time to think about things. I needed to do something for Joe to prove that I really did love him and want to marry him. He was my honeybear, my best friend, my lover and my soon to be husband. I wanted him to feel all of those things and not to doubt me anymore. I knew that I fucked up royally with the engagement and I wanted to make it better for us. I loved him so much that I didn't want him to be upset anymore
( ... )
I knew whatever Brenda had to say was serious by the way that she kissed me and I looked up at her wondering what was on her mind. When she started to move to sit up I sat up too so that we could be facing each other and I rested my hands on her thighs when she settled in on top of me. She had all of my attention and I listened as she told me that we just needed this trip and that was why we were here. I knew there had to be more to it, and I squeezed her hand to encourage her to speak up when she reached out for mine. Then she admitted to me that she was wrong in the way she behaved right after we got engaged. She apologized before and I forgave her, because if I held onto it then I knew we would never be able to move past it. I also knew that she was sorry, but she would also get so down on herself and sometimes to me that felt like she was trying to play a game to deflect the attention away from her mistake and get pity on herself so that now it's about her and how I should make her feel better instead of how she should be making
( ... )
I wrapped my arms around him when he pulled me close to him. Sure I had held him like this a million times before but this time felt so much better than the last time. I whispered out that I loved him before he covered my lips with his. I held him tightly and kissed him until I couldn't breathe anymore. I sighed as he pulled back and caught my breath as I ran my fingers through his hair. He told me I was amazing but I shook my head no. "I'm not," I started to say but he kissed me again so I couldn't finish. I was so far from amazing. He was the amazing one but I knew that he would deny it just like I did. He told me that I really did care and that I always came back to him. Of course, I did. He was my love and I'd never go away from him. But I knew that he wasn't really convinced
( ... )
I didn't know just how badly I want to hear her say those words until they came from her mouth. She was mine, for always. When she kissed me, I didn't want her to pull back. I wanted to get lost in her and the love she felt for me, but she had more that she wanted to make sure she said. She asked me if I knew how many signs there would be showing she was mine after our honeymoon and I looked at her at a loss. I never thought about it that way and I couldn't help but smile when she answered for me. She was right, we would have a lot to show that we were for each other and no one else ever again. My smile started to fade though when she brought up what happened in June and that she hated herself for it
( ... )
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