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Fuck my brain
Why? Just why?
I've done nothing but fucking try. I'm doing my damndest to move past you and move on. Jesus Christ! I ve found someone who genuinely gives a fuck about me and my child. Someone who wants what I want! A house, a family. me to stay home and take care of children. Take us on vacations. Fully understandable and reasonable. Likes what I ( Read more... ) -
15 years makes it hurt so much more
DC, Today you crossed the rainbow bridge. And it feels as though I lost a leg. You were the most amazing pet I could have ever asked for. I don’t know how I will survive s without you my sweet girl. You were there through it all. All the laughs. All the tears. And you were there to cheer me up and put a smile on my face. There are no words to tell ( Read more... ) -
STOP!!!!!!!
Almost nightly I dream of her. Im always looking for her. Sometimes I find her, and she missed me. And it just works out. Other times, she is staying away from me on purpose.
Last night is no different. Just as unsettling and Im just as heartbroken. I apparently have two options to be with a woman. Her and another person (long time friend). I know ( Read more... ) -
WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!?!
HONESTLY, you’d swear I enjoyed all this pain. The people or person who has let me vent to them about this in recent days, can’t understand nor believe I have struggled this long. Literally stating, “I don’t mean to sound judgmental but girl you gotta move on” and “She don’t deserve you”.
I know the hurtful things said and done. I know she thinks ( Read more... ) -
As predicted
Yup...as I predicted. Despite my messages, and then simply asking for an answer regarding her non contact, I was still not responded too. So yeah....heart remains broken. Now more than ever. WHATS WRONG WITH ME?????
WHY CANT I LET HER GO? WHY CANT I FORGET THE GOOD AND REMEMBER JUST THE BAD, SO I CAN RELEASE MY HEART???? WHY CANT I JUST REMEMBER ( Read more... ) -
Press sent
Booze and oil made me do it. So many times Ive had messages on my screen for you. And I just erase them. Tonight I press sent. You most likely wont respond. And even if you do....I know it wont be good. Guess I REALLY AM a sucker for punishment.
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Searching
When I find myself searching random apps and sites for you. Just so I can see a picture 💔😩
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Is that with cheese?
Something that seems so fucking innocent and irrelevant to others, kills me.
Random conversation during firehall training tonight. Something was brought up about my child singing ‘happy birthday’ to anyone or anything. I gave an example that he would sing it about ‘crackers’ or ‘underwear’…and then someone said ‘who’s Crackers’?. That to most people ( Read more... ) -
Kiss
The moment my lips touched yours, I knew it. I knew you were my one. The electricity that passed between us. This energy and connection that I NEVER felt before. It was there. It still is.
I wish I could change time. I wish I could get you in my head and heart.
I’ll never have it again, unless it’s with you.
No matter what has happened. What has been ( Read more... ) -
SOOOOOO close…
3 years ago today, I was becoming very aware of how you would be very important in my life. Being a DEAR friend during my separation and eventual divorce. Becoming my best friend, lover, and partner. Being there for all the difficult stuff throughout my pregnancy. Being my solid ground when I thought I didn’t have any left. Being by my side for the ( Read more... )