Bash Wars Tournament O' Death Quarterfinals

[jim_smith]

I hereby declare voting for the second round closed and thus continue with everyone's favorite fake tournament, namely:

FIGHT NIGHT PRESENTS
THE 1ST ANNUAL
BASH WARS
OPEN INVITATIONAL
TOURNAMENT O' DEATH!
(sponsored by TasteeCo Foodstuffs)

Comments

[touchy_seeley]

Brandawg is drunk on his own hubris! Help me take him down a notch or he'll be even MORE unsufferable than he already is! And THAT... is a lot of unsufferable...ness.

Join with me! brandawg going over Samoa Joe was a bad booking decision; beating Gizmoduck would be downright criminal.

[brandawg]

But...but I had no hubris. I thought Joe was going to kill me. If anything, I had hubris going into OUR match. And now I am humbled, but I still want it more. Besides Gizmo Duck has a suit of armor on a unicycle. That's just retarded.

[touchy_seeley]

Typical brandawg revisionist history.

[bentarc]

The bull testicle extract has caused him to degenerate into a haze of madness.

[brandawg]

What the fuck is this? Biz does his best Fox News impression?

[bentarc]

Face it man, defeat is on the horizon for you. If you're having such a hard time with Gizmo Duck, what're you going to do when you're up against Animal or Mr. Rogers?

Animal for the gold, man. He's going to chew you up like a fucking seat cushion.

[godchilde]

Tall, thin, and pasty takes the lead.

Who's laughing now...anonymous person on internet who I've never encountered before.

I'll tell you who...

[bentarc]

Funny, from where I am it looks like brandawg just can't shake Fenton. Even if he wins, this victory's going to cost him, and that's going to put him in a bad place in the next round. Animal and Mr. Rogers won't hesitate to take advantage of his weakness, and if people think Spider-Man can beat DARKSEID, what kind of a hope in Hell does brandawg have?

No hope, that's what kind of hope he's got. He has Anti-Hope. The kind of no hope where you can't even cry; you just sit there and wait for it all to collapse on your head.

[godchilde]

Logic has no bearing on determining who will prevail in a contest such as this. Just ask the folks over at IGN.

**Go ahead, ask 'em.**

[lovehonorlife]

I'm trying to decide if I should send in my people to rock the vote now... or wait until next round so Mr. Rogers gets the honor of slaying brandawg. It's a tough call. I'd like my own nominee to get the kill, but I can't stand to see him survive this long in the whole thing.

Alas, the trials and tribulations of having an elite team of bounty hunters that make the ones from Empire Strikes Back look like a bunch of ass clowns.

[bentarc]

I think of it like it's the Royal Rumble. Let's all join forces to heave this punk over the ropes, and then immediately turn on one another in a glorious spectacle of treachery.

[lovehonorlife]

Exactly. The minute I tout Gizmo Duck and he eliminates the 'dawg, I get to see an anthopomorphic duck cyborg on a unicycle go balls-out insane on Mr. Rogers.

Having said that, you're absolutely right.

[touchy_seeley]

As an impartial observer, I think you should eliminate him as soon as possible. Don't take chances.

[lovehonorlife]

I'm working on it. And being hella creative. We'll see if I'm any better than anyone else at rallying cries.

[brandawg]

You certainly are better at being a tool who doesn't let anyone other than friends comment on a public entry.

Besides, all of the reasons you listed to vote against me are reasons to vote for me since this is an 'anything goes' fight to the finish. Someone obviously has trouble understanding and accepting that fact. Also, I have an I Hate You sign which trumps all other reasons.

[lovehonorlife]

Honestly, I don't need any more reason then I want to enter "Zombie Brandawg" as a contestant in Bash Wars 2.

And that's my promised designated entry in it when you meet your doom at some point in this tourney.