PDA - Public Displays of Aggression pt 1
PDA - Public Displays of Aggression
"What's the matter, Jared?" Jensen grinned mischievously. "Don't you want to unwrap your present?" There was a definite tease to his words and Jared's mouth went dry. "Come on, Jared, you know you're gonna like it." While biting his lip, Jensen let his shirt slip from his shoulders to puddle at his waist.
Jared whined and reached for Jensen's waist band. "Do you want me to take these off, too?" Jensen whispered.
"Yes," Jared panted. Best Christmas ever. Finally getting Jensen naked was going to make everything from the past few months worth while. Jared's eyes slowly drank in every inch of Jensen, from his silky blond hair to the curve of his lips, down his chest and his abs, and then to where his hands were tugging his pants down.
"Yeah?" he sighed.
"Jared?"
He whimpered unexpectedly.
"Mr. Padalecki!"
Jared bolted upright in his desk, his knees slamming into its legs and causing the whole thing to skid noisily.
"Back with us?" Mr. Singer asked, glaring at him in annoyance while most of his classmates snickered.
Jared, bright red with embarrassment, wiped at his mouth self-consciously. "Yes, yeah, sorry."
"Dude," Chad whispered, "you were making some seriously happy noises."
"Shut up, Chad," Jared hissed under his breath. He cautiously looked around the room. Most of his classmates had gone back to listening to Mr. Singer. Most, but not Jensen. Jensen was looking at him with a hint of concern on his face. The moment he realized Jared was returning his gaze, he turned away.
Jared scowled. Of course he'd have an erotic dream in a class he shared with Jensen. He couldn't be more embarrassed.
Mr. Singer thought otherwise. "Well, Mr. Padalecki? Are you ready to explain why Archduke Ferdinand's assassination led to World War I?"
Jared swallowed his groan. "Yes, Mr. Singer." He paged through his notebook until he heard the teacher clear his throat. He looked up and saw the teacher pointing to the podium. Oh god, not in front of the class. Jared prayed that no one would notice he was sporting a semi hard-on as a result of his dream.
He told himself not to look at Jensen, but since he sat in the first row, it was difficult to miss him staring up at Jared, and sucking on his pen.
Jared and Jensen never ran with the same crowd, but their school wasn't that big and everybody pretty much knew each other. Jensen was a bit more of a jock. As a junior, he was already the starting running back of the varsity football team. Jared tended to favor more academic pursuits like mathletes, debate team, and forensics. However, this didn't mean that Jensen was stupid or that Jared wasn't athletic. Jensen, like Jared, was in the top ten of their class and Jared had made the varsity basketball team.
Jensen had taken an immediate liking to Jared. The guy was funny as well as interesting and intelligent, a rarity in Jensen's experience. Jared, on the other hand, was suspicious of Jensen's motives nearly from the moment they met. Sure, the guy was attractive and seemed to be able to charm everyone, but Jared was sure Jensen was manipulating people.
Two years earlier
The first time Jared saw Jensen was in their freshman science class. They had been taking notes; Jensen was sucking on his pen and dragging it against his lower lip. Never had Jared wanted to be a cheap plastic pen so badly. He wondered distractedly if Jensen knew how obscene he looked. The teacher could be explaining the meaning of life for all Jared cared; he had to meet the boy with pretty eyes and the oral fixation.
After class, Jared followed him down the hall, hoping to see that they shared another class, only to be disappointed when he saw Jensen shove a smaller boy into a locker door making the row of lockers rattle. It didn't matter that the boy appeared to be grinning, bullying like that always bothered Jared.
They had two classes together freshman year, art and science, both of which became Jared's worst classes. He blamed his lower-than-expected grades on the distraction named Jensen.
Sophomore year they were thrown together even more as they had some classes as well as lunch and study hall together. Jensen always smiled and said 'hello' to him and Jared would usually say it back, but sometimes he'd just nod, not wanting anyone to think they were friends.
In the fall of their sophomore year, Jensen told him he should try to get a place on Homecoming Court as the representative for their class. Jensen told all his friends to vote for Jared, much to Jared's annoyance. The day before the actual voting Jared cornered Jensen. "What do you think you're doing?" he demanded. "Why are you trying to get me on Homecoming Court? I'm not even on the football team."
Jensen looked surprised by Jared's questions. "Because you're a cool guy. And why does it have to be a football player all the time? Homecoming is supposed to be for everyone, yet this school always tries to force everyone to choose football players." Jared still looked unsure, so Jensen continued to try to persuade him. "Jared, everyone likes you. I thought it would be easy to convince people to vote for you."
Jared crossed his arms and shook his head. "What made you think I would want anything to do with Homecoming?"
Jensen looked slightly crushed. "Sorry. I guess I didn't think that you wouldn't want to do it. Don't worry, I can tell the guys not to vote for you. I wasn't trying to make you mad."
He actually looked disappointed, but Jared was immovable. He wasn't going to be the butt of an elaborate joke.
Despite Jensen's promise, Jared found his name on the ballot the next day. By lunch he learned that even though Jensen had told his friends not to vote for him, enough other students did and he was elected to court.
"Jared!" Jensen caught up with him after school. "Look man, I know you didn't want this, but I guess I was right because even with my friends not voting for you, you made it."
"Yeah, thanks," Jared snapped sarcastically. "Just what I always wanted."
Jensen smiled weakly. "On the bright side, you were chosen by the majority of our class and that means you'll be able to get any girl you want to be your date."
Jared groaned. "That doesn't make this any more appealing. I'm not mister school dance and shit."
"Oh," Jensen thought a moment. "Well, a bunch of us are going stag. You're standing up with Katie, but that doesn't mean she is your date. You can hang out with us if you like."
Jared studied him, hoping to discover what the joke was, but Jensen's wide eyed expression made him look sincere. "I don't know."
Jensen sighed. "Maybe you could talk to Mr. Carpenter. He can get you out of it. I mean, all you should have to do is say you don't want to do it. It's not like they can force you," Jensen suggested, hoping Jared understood how truly sorry he felt.
Jared shoved past him. "But it was okay for you to force me."
Jensen followed him. "I didn't say that. And how many times do I have to apologize? I was trying to do something nice."
"Who asked you to?"
Jensen shrunk from the anger in Jared's eyes. "No one. I…," he paused, unsure how to continue. "I like you. You're a really nice guy, when you're not giving me this death stare. I just thought…" He stopped again and sighed in defeat. "Never mind. I'm sorry all right? What do you want me to do?"
Eat shit and die, long walk short pier, rot in hell... Jared's list scrolled through his mind, but he settled on, "Leave me alone and don't try to do 'something nice' for me ever again." He left Jensen behind at the doors to the school.
The Homecoming dance wasn't as horrible as Jared thought it would be. He took his friend Genevieve as his date and they doubled with Chad and Sophia. When court was announced, and he and Katie took their places on the stage, Jared saw Jensen and his friends cheering for him.
During the court's dance, Jensen approached Genevieve. "Hi, Gen, you look really nice."
She blushed, "Thanks, Jensen, so do you. Who did you bring?"
"No one. Well unless you count Tyler, but a bunch of us went stag, you know because of how this school is so unwilling to accept change."
"What are you talking about?"
"Do you remember last year? Tyler's brother was elected to prom court, but the administration wouldn't let him stand up because he's gay. A bunch of us didn't think that was fair, so we're trying to change things. Our counselor, Mr. Ladouceur, said we should start small and gradually make changes." Jensen shrugged. "I don't think it's going to make an impression on anyone."
Gen smiled at him. "At least you did something, right? I mean Jared's not in football and neither is the junior rep."
"I guess." He shrugged again. "Hey, you wanna dance while Jared's busy?"
Genevieve answered with a bright smile. "Sure, I'd like that."
As they danced, Jared glared at them from across the gym. He was so disturbed by seeing Gen and Jensen dance, that his escort, Katie, asked him what was wrong. "Nothing really," he grumbled. "It's just Ackles is dancing with my date."
"Well, you're dancing with me," she needlessly pointed out.
Jared nearly snapped out, "Because I have to" but thought better of it and said, "I know, but I don't like him with my date."
Katie squeezed his hand reassuringly. "He didn't even bring a date and you kinda have two, so don't worry about him."
As soon as he was free, he rushed back to Genevieve and demanded, "Why were you dancing with Ackles?"
"We were talking and then he asked if I wanted to dance since you were busy. What's the big deal? It was only one dance, Jared."
"Yeah, I know, but --"
"And you and I just here as friends, so I should be able to dance with anyone I want to."
"Yeah, I know."
"He was just being nice."
"Okay," he whined. "I got it. Geez." Couldn't she see that she was the only girl Jensen had asked to dance? Couldn't she see that it was because she was Jared's date and Jensen was trying to ruin their night?
Later, Jared and Chad were waiting for their dates to leave the restroom, when Jensen and Tyler joined them. "Hey, a bunch of us are going to Dairy Queen after this. You wanna come with us?" Jensen asked.
"Can't. Sophia's parents are really strict and she has to go home right after the dance," Chad answered, looking disappointed.
"Sorry." Jensen turned to Jared. "What about you and Gen?"
Jared squinted at him, wondering what the guy was trying to accomplish, when he heard Genevieve ask, "What about me and Jared?"
Jensen grinned at her. "A bunch of us are going to Dairy Queen later, we were wondering if you and Jared wanted to come along."
"Sounds like fun," she replied, "but we doubled with Chad and Sophia, so we can't."
"Too bad, I guess we'll see you on Monday," Tyler said and they walked away.
Chad laughed quietly. "I think those two are dating each other."
"Really?" Sophia asked not bothering to mask her excitement at the gossip.
Chad hunched a shoulder. "I don't know. They're just always together, you know? And they did go to homecoming together," he added with a knowing nod.
Gen rolled her eyes at Chad's assumption. "You're an idiot. A bunch of guys went stag, doesn't mean they're gay. It just means they support people that are."
Jared rolled his eyes. There was no way Tyler or Jensen was gay or even supported gay rights. They were jocks and everyone knew jocks hated gay guys. And that was when it clicked. That was why Jensen had wanted him to be involved in Homecoming, he had found out Jared was gay and was trying to humiliate him.
When the dance was over, Jensen approached Jared one more time. "I talked to Tyler's brother. He said he could give you and Gen a ride if you want to join us."
"So you can hit on my date some more?"
"What? No," Jensen sputtered. "I was just --"
"Just 'trying to be nice'?" Jared glared. "Stop 'trying to be nice', Jensen and leave me alone."
Jensen blinked at his admonishment and mumbled, "Okay."
Jensen adhered to Jared's directive to be left alone until February, but it wasn't his fault the rule was broken. Their history teacher assigned them to a group project which would be the majority of their grade. Jensen was psyched because his group was Jared, Felicia Day, and Tom Welling; it meant he was practically assured a good grade. Jared was irate. Felicia was cool and Tom was alright for a jock, but Jensen? Jared was pretty sure Jensen never cracked a book. He wondered what he thought he could contribute. After getting the assignment, Felicia and Jared decided to meet in the library during study hall to get started. Jared hadn't thought to ask Jensen to join them even though he had the same free period.
Of course that didn't stop Jensen from going to the library during their study hall. He didn't see his group, so he dropped his stuff on the nearest table and headed for the 930 shelves to find some books they could use. When he turned the corner, he heard someone whispering about him.
"I don't get it. Why don't you want to work with Jensen?" Felicia asked when they arrived at the shelves.
Jared stared at her, wondering why anyone would want to work with Jensen. "Well, for starters, I think he's a lazy dumb jock who thinks the rest of us are here to do his bidding and tell him how lucky we are to know him."
"Wow." Felicia blinked up at him. "Seriously? He's never been anything but really nice to me."
Jared snorted. "Yeah, he's a regular fucking prince charming. That doesn't mean he's actually nice. He just uses people."
Felicia shook her head. "I don't know Jared, you might be surprised. Jensen's like… really smart."
Jared rolled his eyes. He had seen Jensen exchanging homework with other people too many times to take that statement seriously.
The following Monday, Jensen nervously approached the group. In his hands were a flash drive and five typed pages. "Um, hey, I, uh, don't want to cause any problems, but I don't want to work in a group."
Felicia and Tom both asked, "What? Why?" Jared only smirked.
Jensen could barely meet their eyes. He nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "My schedule is kind of full and I wouldn't really have time to meet with y'all, so, well, it's just better this way." He pretended not to notice how Jared tapped Felicia like an 'I told you so'. "But, well, I didn't want to leave you hanging so I did this." He handed the papers and the flash drive to Felicia. "It's five pages on how Rome's lack of a police force contributed to its fall. I cited my sources. It's all on there."
"You did five pages this weekend?" Jared didn't bother to hide his skepticism.
Jensen leveled his gaze at him. "Yeah. Like I said I didn't want to leave you hanging. Since it's supposed to be twenty pages and there're four of us, I wrote five. Seemed fair." He looked at Felicia. "The file is on the drive so you can change the formatting or whatever." Jensen returned to his seat and began planning his solo project.
Tom paged through Jensen's work and smiled; at least this part would earn them an 'A'. He handed the papers to Jared, who took them figuring he'd find a Wikipedia entry retyped. Instead, he found a well written paper. He was convinced Jensen must've copied it from somewhere.
For the rest of the school year, Jared paid more attention to Jensen's academic achievements, hoping to catch him cheating. The fact that the guy seemed to be just as smart as Jared only irritated him more. Why was Jensen so easy going when Jared had to study every night to maintain his grades?
To make matters worse, one Monday the school was swirling in gossip about Jensen. There were dozens of different stories, ranging from him being arrested to getting in a fight, but the one main thread was that he was gay.
Jared wasn't sure what to believe. Not even Chad knew the truth. Jensen was in class, and he certainly had some bruises, but Jared wanted to know what really happened. "Jensen, what happened to your face?" he asked bluntly before the class bell rang.
"I stopped someone's fist with it. A couple times. Not as much fun as it sounds," he quipped, waiting, testing to see if Jared would ask anything else.
"Yeah, kinda a stupid move on your part."
"Maybe, but sometimes, if you believe in something, you gotta take the punches."
Before Jared could ask anything else, Mike Rosenbaum walked in and interrupted them. "Hey, Rocky, looking good."
Jensen grinned. "F- you, Mikey."
"Yeah, you wish you could get some of this," Mike replied, grabbing his butt for emphasis. "How's Tyler doing?"
"He's fine. His eye's messed up, but he'll be back in school tomorrow."
"Cool," Mike nodded. "Well, I got your back if anything happens before that, okay, my little rainbow riding unicorn lover?"
"What?!" Jensen asked, laughing at Mike's endearment. But, instead of saying anything else, Mike blew him a kiss and skipped to his seat, making Jensen laugh more. Jensen's smile faded when he turned to see Jared looking at him oddly.
The bell rang, class began, and that was the last chance Jared had to talk with Jensen.
As with most high schools, Jensen's story faded into the background as the gossip mills churned out new tales every day. The only person who didn't forget was Jared, but he wasn't sure how to get to the truth. It bothered him because even though he hated violence, Jared knew sometimes standing up for what you believed in led to actual physical confrontations. But what he didn't know was if Jensen was defending a cause or just fighting.
In late spring, Jared tried out for and landed the role of George Gibbs in the school's production of Our Town. It wasn't the lead, but it was a pretty important role.
The cast party on the final night was big enough that Jensen and some of his friends were also there. Jared had just finished getting a plateful of food when Jensen approached him. "Hey, Jared, you were really awesome tonight. I didn't know you were into acting. I mean, I'd be scared shitless up on stage with everyone staring at me like that."
If he didn't know better, Jared would have thought that Jensen had gone out of his way to congratulate him. He shrugged. "I'm in forensics and it's not that different from that."
"Forensics? Isn't that CSI? What's that got to do with acting?" Chris Kane asked from his practically permanent spot next to Jensen.
Jensen chuckled and shoved Chris before turning back to Jared. "Sorry, excuse Chris. He's an uncultured idiot."
Chris smirked, "You don't keep me around for my brains, sweetheart."
Jared quirked a brow and looked back and forth between the two of them. "Right, well, glad you liked it," he replied, shoving past them.
Jensen watched him walk away. "Went well."
"Yeah, he said a whole sentence this time." Chris patted his arm. "Dude's way too classy for you anyway."
"Shut up."
Jared joined Chad and his girlfriend Kenzie in the other room. "I'm surprised so many people are here."
"Really? Why? Just because we turned my bonfire into your cast party doesn't mean it wasn't going to be an awesome party," Kenzie pointed out.
"Yeah," Chad agreed. "Who did you see that surprised you?"
"No one." Jared looked back at where Jensen was laughing with Chris, Tyler and Mike. Did he have to look so hot when he laughed?
Chad followed Jared's gaze. "Oh, that 'no one'," Chad grumbled, earning him an irritated look from Jared.
Jared couldn't stay in a sour mood, though because Colton Haynes chose that moment to join them. "Hey, Jared, You were really good as that George guy."
Jared smiled. "Thanks Colton."
Colton smiled and bit his lip in show of nerves. "So, um, there's a fire going in the fire pit outside. Wanna go check it out?"
Jared's grin grew wider. "Sure, why not."
Colton did not hesitate letting Jared know exactly how he felt, holding his hand as they made their way outside. When they took seats by the fire, Colton sat between Jared's legs with his back on Jared's chest, wrapping himself up in Jared.
Colton turned his head and kissed Jared's jaw. "You're so hot. And I don't mean because of the fire."
Jared huffed a laugh. Everyone knew Colton was a harmless flirt. Usually, Jared would ignore his advances, but tonight he was feeling high from his performance and the attention felt good. "That was pretty cheesy, even for you."
Colton grinned sheepishly and laughed. "Yeah, but is it working?"
"It's working," Jared laughed and turned to kiss him properly.
Although he enjoyed the kiss, he didn't want to make out in front of an audience, so he pulled back. He looked around the fire but no one seemed to be paying attention to them. Movement by the door caught his eye and he turned to see Jensen walking back into the house. Jared wondered what Jensen had thought when he saw them kiss, if he saw them at all.
The flirtation with Colton was over by the end of the school year. The good thing about summer break, as far as Jared was concerned, was that he didn't have to see his classmates every day. The best part was getting his driver's license. However, that too was balanced with the chore of driving his sister around.
Every Wednesday, Megan had guitar lessons from six to eight in the evening. Jared would drop her off and then drive to Chad's to play X-box until it was time to pick her up.
Jared knew he was going to be in trouble when he was twenty minutes late to pick up Megan, but in his defense, it was the first time he had been close to beating Chad. He was okay with Megan being angry. He would make it up to her so she didn't tell their mom. However, when he arrived at the music store, he didn't expect to find his sister hanging out with Jensen.
He really didn't expect the guy to walk her to the car, either.
As she climbed into the car, Megan turned to Jensen. "Thanks, Jensen."
"No problem, Megs."
Jared scowled. What right did this guy have using that nickname?
"Hey, Jared," Jensen said through Megan's open door, "if you're going to be this late, you should call. I can give Meg a ride home if you can't."
"What the hell is it to you, Ackles?"
"We closed twenty minutes ago. If I hadn't seen her sitting there, I would have left. I have a little sister, too, and I wouldn't want her to wait out here all alone."
Jared rolled his eyes. Who the hell did this guy think he was? "Whatever. Don't you think she's a little young for you?"
Megan blushed a furious red and whined, "Jared!"
Jensen's jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed, then he shook his head and turned to Megan and tried to smile. "I'll see you next week, Megan. Keep practicing."
During the ride home, Megan berated her brother for embarrassing her in front of Jensen, who was 'so cute' and 'so nice' and basically the best thing to happen to Megan since the dawn of time and why did Jared have to be so mean?!
Jared stopped listening almost immediately. His mind was consumed with how good Jensen looked with his sun bleached hair and tanned skin. Just how was that guy real? Ignoring his sister's enthusiastic rambling he asked, "What was Jensen doing there?"
"Lessons, duh, and he works there," she replied like it was the most obvious answer in the world.
Jared was never late again. In fact, there were times he arrived early enough to eavesdrop on Jensen's lesson. After finding him practicing his guitar, Jared sat outside the room and listened. Occasionally, he heard Jensen singing along, but he could never hear clearly enough. The sound of his voice was always too muffled.
One time, he was nearly found out by Jensen himself. He was sitting with his head cocked toward the door, hoping to catch every note, when the door was opened and Jensen walked out with Chris Kane. They didn't seem to notice Jared.
"I love it, man, but you should sing it," Chris said.
Jensen shook his head. "No way. I'll play back up, but I'm not singing in front of everyone."
"Well, you gotta sing something or Kripke said you wouldn't get full credit."
Jensen groaned. "But, I'm god awful. The audience will run screaming from the place."
Jared jumped to his feet. What audience? Where? He had to be there. Hot or not, there was no way he was going to miss an opportunity to see Jensen embarrass himself in front of an audience.
Once Megan's lesson was over, she made Jared wait as she ran up to Jensen and Chris. She held up her sheet music and began to babble excitedly, making Chris and Jensen smile at her enthusiasm. When she left them, Jared couldn't help but notice the elbow nudge Chris gave Jensen when they saw him, and the shove Jensen gave him in return.
After weeks of enduring the torture of seeing Jensen get tanner and more blond, Jared'd had enough. He was going to swallow his pride and talk to Jensen and maybe, just maybe, if the talking went well, ask if he wanted to hang out. Jared didn't know if the 'gay rumor' was true, so he wasn't going to push his luck. He just wanted a chance to find out.
Jensen was at the music store when Jared dropped off Megan. He was looking through a rack of sheet music when Jared thought he had an opening and took his first brave step. Jared didn't notice the guy next to Jensen until he put a hand on Jensen's back. Low on his back. With his thumb slowly stroking the curve of Jensen's spine. Jared wanted that to be his hand so badly he felt ghostly ribs of the cotton on his own hand. Not wanting to get caught staring, Jared spun around and tried to hurry away but bumped into a display of music used on Glee and had to grab it before it fell. If Jensen saw him, Jared wouldn't know; he was too embarrassed and jealous to look.
The image of that hand on Jensen's back haunted Jared constantly. He couldn't explain why it affected him so much, but it was suddenly his goal to become the only one that could touch Jensen like that.
The following Sunday afternoon, Jared and his family had to sit through hours of listening to students with varying degrees of musical abilities for Megan's recital. Jared slouched in his chair and played angry birds for most of the time, until his mother elbowed him to pay attention as his sister took the stage. She cleared her throat and began to sing Taylor Swift's You Belong With Me when a guitar string broke and she froze, uncertain what to do and close to tears.
Before Jared could laugh, his mother's sharp elbow to his ribs shushed him. His attention was now focused on the stage where Jensen was suddenly at his sister's side. In his hand was another guitar, his guitar. "Hey, happens all the time, Megan. Even to Taylor Swift, but she has a roadie to hand her another guitar. Just pretend I'm your roadie and go on," he whispered encouragingly.
With her emotions under control, Megan nodded and started again. She finished with no problems and Jared stood to go when his mother stopped him. "It's not over. Sit back down."
Jared rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. Would he ever be allowed to leave? Jared tuned out the man that stepped on stage and rambled on about something utterly useless to Jared. However, his attention was awakened when Chris Kane and Jensen Ackles took the stage.
Chris grinned and announced, "We're going to perform three songs for you. The first is Angeles by Elliott Smith. The second song is Faster by Matt Nathanson, and then we'll end the show with a song written by Jensen called Let me go and let you all get out of here."
Jared smirked at Jensen's nervous appearance, but stopped as they began to sing. Enthralled as he was with the performance, Jared was barely able to manage hitting the record button on his iPhone.
When the three songs were over, the room erupted in applause, much more applause than the other students had received. Jensen's eyes widened in shock and his deer in the headlight look made Jared laugh.
Once school started, Jared grew more obsessed with Jensen. They had a few classes together, and Jensen was always polite, but he seemed to go out of his way to avoid Jared. Soon, Jared decided that even though he was physically attracted to Jensen, the guy still shared homework assignments with others, he was arrogant about being the starting running back, and seemed to flirt with as many girls as guys. Jensen Ackles was hot as hell, but not the kind of guy Jared ever wanted to date.
Because he was on the basketball team, Jared would occasionally use the school's training room after school. He had just finished his shower when he heard arguing.
Someone snarled, "You should just quit, princess." It was followed by the sound of someone's body hitting a locker.
"You'd like that, asshole, but that's not going to happen." Jared recognized Jensen's voice and walked closer.
"Think about it," the other guy drawled. "I'd hate to have something happen to that pretty face of yours."
"Aw, you think I'm pretty." Jensen's retort was enough to get him shoved into the lockers, again.
Not sure what to do, Jared started whistling and turned the corner. Pretending he hadn't known they were there, he cheerfully greeted them, "Hey, guys."
Jensen had just grabbed the jersey of the other player, about to retaliate for the shoving, when Jared's greeting stopped him. He released the other guy with a small push. "On the field, Olsson."
The guy glared at Jared then left Jensen with the threat, "This ain't over."
Once alone, Jensen slowly pulled off his jersey and sat on the bench to catch his breath.
Jared appreciated the play of muscle on Jensen's back as he tore off his shirt and the sight of him in just his tight football pants as he lay back. But even that wasn't enough to distract him from a painful looking bruise that was low on his hip. Jensen sighed heavily and lay back on the bench.
Concerned, Jared walked over. "You all right?"
Jensen opened his eyes and blinked up at him. After a second, he coughed and said, "Yeah. I'm fine. A couple seniors don't like that I took the starting spot, no big deal." Jared didn't look like he believed him, so Jensen continued, "Seriously, it's nothing, just a little hazing." As he sat up, he winced slightly. "I'd appreciate it if you'd keep this between us. If you tell the coach, it's just going to get worse."
Jared thought for a moment, but relented, "Okay, I won't say anything, but you shouldn't let them get away with it."
Jensen smirked. "My mad skills on the field will shut them up soon enough." He stood and opened his locker which meant the conversation was over. No matter how much he wanted to, Jared couldn't stand there and watch Jensen peel off the uniform pants he was wearing.
Jared went to many football games -- not just to watch Jensen. That was just a coincidence. Jensen was the starting running back and played nearly every down. He also seemed to score a touchdown at least once a game and if he didn't, he got the team within field goal range. Only Jared noticed how often a block was missed when Jensen ran and how often a certain teammate didn't help him up.
Then it happened. In the second last game of the season, Olsson purposely missed an easy block. Two defenders tackled Jensen with such force that the sound of the collision silenced the crowd. Jared, along with the rest of the fans, stood, watching in agony as Jensen didn't get up. The trainer and the coach went onto the field. Then, a stretcher was brought out. Then a sickening hush fell over the entire field as the paramedics were called onto the field.
Jensen missed a week of school due to having both his acl and pcl in his right knee torn. Emergency surgery repaired what it could, but no one thought he'd play again. He seemed to have such a bubble of anger around him that only his closest friends dared to go near him. This was why no one was with him when Ty Olsson confronted him by his locker after school.
Chad and Jared were making their way out of the building when they heard, "It's a shame about your leg, Ackles."
Jared couldn't believe his ears. Was Olsson sincere? Chad grabbed his arm and dragged him back towards the lockers.
Jensen slammed his locker. "Fuck you, Olsson. Good luck getting to state without me."
"At least I won't have you pervin' on my ass."
"You fucktard, no one's interested in your ignorant ass."
Olsson barked a harsh laugh. "I'm good with that. Are you good with no schools being interested in broken fa--" He didn't have a chance to finish. Somehow Jensen propelled himself forward, knocking the other guy the ground.
Jared and Chad were on them instantly, trying to separate them. A moment later, teachers were there, pulling them apart. "What's going on here?" Mr. Singer demanded, staring down the four students on the floor.
Chad put his hand out to Jensen and helped him up, while Jared shoved Olsson to push himself up. Chad was first to speak. "Well, Mr. Singer, as you know, Ty's had problems reading defenses all season. Jared and I were trying to help him with his blocking. Jensen here was just attempting to walk through his simple off tackle run, when his bum leg made him fall. Padalecki was already in motion, so there was no stopping him and we all ended up on the floor."
Jared thought Mr. Singer's eyebrows had disappeared into his hairline the man had raised them so far. "Well if that ain't some sweet smelling manure you're trying to sell me." He looked at each student in turn and then decided to question Olsson. "Well, Mr. Olsson, is that what happened? Was Padalecki trying to show you the proper way to block some one?"
The boy dragged his resentful eyes from Jensen, glared at Chad and then said, "Somethin' like that."
The other teachers shrugged. None of them had seen anything. Mr. Singer sighed. "All right, get out of here." He grabbed Jared's arm. "Couldn't you have shown him before he cost Ackles his knee?"
When the teachers had shuffled back to their rooms, Jensen muttered a quiet thanks to Chad.
Chad grinned. "Dude, what were you thinking?! You just had surgery. You can't go a couple rounds with that shit head."
"Yeah, I know, but he's been an asshole all season."
"I should have said something after what happened in the locker room," Jared interjected quietly.
Jensen turned to him. "No. It's better that you didn't. And you shouldn't have done anything now."
Jared snorted. "Were we supposed to just let him beat the crap out of you?"
Jensen glared. "Better me than you and at least then he'd be off the team, too," he snapped before hobbling away on his crutches.
Jared stared incredulously at him as he walked away. "Can you believe that guy?"
Chad shrugged. "I don't know. I heard he lost a scholarship. I'd be pissed, too."
When basketball season began, Jared often saw Jensen and his clique of friends at the games. Unfortunately, he always seemed to be watching when Jared made a mistake. Knowing that Jensen must be criticizing him, Jared felt unreasonably irritated every time he saw him.
The only school event Jared really cared about was in early January: the auditions for the school play. This year, Mr. Edlund and Mr. Carver were directing Romeo and Juliet. From the moment it was announced, Jared planned on being Romeo.
The auditorium was dark, but it was buzzing with the voices of potential actors. Some veteran crew members had closed the curtain and set the lights. Mr. Edlund took his seat in the center of the audience. He held a stack of papers and a clipboard. Mr. Carver soon joined him and together they stood to address the crowd of students.
"As you know, Shakespeare is a challenge, but all of you are familiar with the story of Romeo and Juliet, so you'll find the language soon becomes second nature," Mr. Carver announced. "Everyone who filled out a form will get a chance to audition."
Mr. Edlund looked around. "We're glad to see some new faces and this gives us the chance to explain our process. Once everyone has read their lines, we may call some back to hear you read again, or to read for another character. As this may happen more than once, do not plan on leaving after your first reading."
"Everyone will have a chance to perform a selection more than once. Then Mr. Edlund and I will make our decision and post the cast list on the theater door before the end of school tomorrow."
"You then have the choice. The choice to join us, sign your name and sell your soul to the theater. Or cross out your name and deny the world your talent," Mr. Edlund said with a flair of drama.
Mr. Carver shook his head at Edlund's antics. "And there you have it. We'd like to have some sort of order, so we are going to call your names in alphabetical order. You will then proceed to the stage and tell us which character you are reading for. Give us five minutes to get organized, and we'll begin."
Jared looked around at his competition. It looked like the usual crowd and he didn't feel too threatened. He'd get Romeo or one of the major characters at least, for sure. He nodded to Sandy and she waved. She'd be Juliet; no one else had as much experience.
His musing was interrupted by Mr. Carver calling the first name. "All right, first up is a newcomer. Everyone remember your manners and keep silent while we listen to Jensen Ackles."
Jared bolted upright in his seat. Jensen? What the hell was Jensen doing there?! Since when did he think he could act? The murmuring in the auditorium told Jared he wasn't the only one surprised to see Jensen.
"Quiet down everyone. Now, Jensen, we know you're new to this, but which part were you going to read?"
Jensen cleared his throat, "I'm hoping for a small part, like 'page', but I didn't see that on the script choices." His reply earned him a small tittering of laughter and he blushed.
"No one reads for the small parts, son," Edlund replied amused. "Do you think you could read for Tybalt?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Good," Mr. Carver said. "I'll read Capulet's lines."
Jared was stunned as he listened to Jensen's performance. He was good; he spoke the lines clearly and in the proper rhythm.
When they were done, Mr. Edlund said, "Jensen, turn to the first page, and read the prologue for us."
Jared cursed under his breath. Asking him to read another part right away meant they thought he was good, too.
It was painful to wait for his turn, but finally Jared was called. As he flawlessly performed the balcony scene, he forgot about Jensen's performance and focused on his own.
After what seemed like forever, the directors called various students to perform again and much to Jared's chagrin, Jensen read for several characters, including Mercutio, which was the only role other than Romeo that interested Jared.
He was forced to ignore his self-doubt when he was called to play opposite Jensen in the scene between Tybalt and Romeo. It was uncomfortable, but they made it look easy.
After the auditions, Jared, Sandy and Milo huddled. "Ackles was pretty good," Milo admitted, needing his friends to soothe his nerves.
"Don't worry, Milo. This isn't High School Musical and he's no Zac Efron," Sandy said reassuringly.
Jared nearly laughed. With how well Jensen could sing, they'd all be in trouble if it was a musical. Behind Milo, Jared could see Jensen gathering his belongings. "Sandy's right. Jensen was okay, but you have more experience. Besides, Carver and Edlund will see that he'd ruin the play. He doesn't know what he's doing."
"Yeah," Sandy continued, "he's a jock. No real brain power there."
Milo didn't look convinced. "I don't know. Between him and Jason, I'm not feeling that confident."
"There are so many good parts for guys in this play, you have nothing to worry about," Sandy said as she put her arm around him. "Come on. We'll rent the Leonardo version on the way home and pig out on ice cream while we watch. See you later, Jared."
The next day, Jared was a ball of nerves. He knew he had a part, but waiting all day to see if Jensen was also cast, was killing him. He couldn't pay attention in his classes and he wasn't the only one. Sandy had forgotten her assignment in math, Milo's name was called three times in English before he answered, and in history Jensen accidentally spilled the contents of his backpack while looking for a notebook. He turned every shade of red as he hurried to gather his belongings. In his rush, he missed a notebook that had slipped under a nearby bookcase. After class, Jared retrieved it and slipped it into his own pack.
In study hall, Jared opened Jensen's notebook, hoping to play a harmless prank. However, it wasn't simply a notebook. It appeared to be a journal. Forgetting about his classwork, Jared began to read. It felt so clandestine, that he kept looking around nervously as if waiting to be caught.
It's not fair that coach is still making me tutor these guys. There is no way I'm doing their work for them. Fuck that. I've got enough of my own work to do. I don't see why it's my responsibility to make sure they pass.
Jared read a little further. Five guys? Jensen was tutoring five guys in math and another couple of guys in history. No wonder he was always passing papers back and forth. He wasn't cheating, he was tutoring.
Jared groaned at his complete misunderstanding. He should stop reading. It felt wrong -- it was wrong. These were Jensen's personal thoughts and Jared would hate it if anyone read his private thoughts, so he should stop... wait is that my name?
Since it was about him, Jared felt vindicated in reading at least this one paragraph more.
I've really tried to stay away from him, but Jared is involved in everything which makes it kinda hard. I hate that I think he's hot given that he hates me, but in my defense he's perfect. He said these ridiculous puns in science today which were hilarious, but no one else seemed to get them besides Ms. Ferris.
Jared smiled to himself. So Jensen thinks I'm hot. He decided it was okay to read the entries with his name. He paged back a bit and found:
Turns out Jared isn't a homophobe. It's me. He just hates me. Saw him making out with Colton Haynes at the party, so obviously it isn't a gay thing. It's me. Wish I knew what I did to make him hate me. I didn't think it would hurt so much or even bother me to see him with someone else. I know I don't have a chance with him, but it still sucks. I tried talking to him tonight, but, as usual, he acted like I was diseased.
Jared hung his head feeling ashamed. He shut the book and returned it to his backpack. He needed a way to return it to Jensen without the guy knowing he had it.
After school, there was already a small crowd around the auditorium doors when Jared arrived. As he stepped up to join them, Jensen was making his way out of the throng with an indiscernible look on his face. Several students turned to look at him as he left and their mumblings soon got louder. Jared heard one kid say, "What did he do that for?"
Suddenly he had his arms full of Sandy McCoy. "Jared! We did it! We're Romeo and Juliet!" she squealed. She handed him a pen. "Here, go sign your name and we can grab our scripts."
"Yeah, sure," Jared replied distractedly, taking the pen and easing his way to the front. After signing his name, he read the cast list, looking for Jensen's name, but he didn't find it. Instead, next to Tybalt, he saw a name scribbled out.
"I don't know why he bothered auditioning if he didn't want a part," Sandy said, as she suddenly appeared next to him.
"Yeah, weird," Jared agreed. They began to walk to where they would get their rehearsal scripts, Jared realized he could read Jensen's journal if he wanted to know his motive for auditioning. "San, I just remembered I have to pick up Megan. My mom will kill me if I'm late again. I'll grab a script in the morning."
Jared sat in his room staring at the journal. It was wrong, but he had to know. It had already cleared up other misconceptions; it should help explain why Jensen didn't want to be in the play, right? Jared argued with himself for several minutes before cursing his own weakness and opening the book to the last page.
What the fuck am I doing here? Why did I let Ladouceur talk me into this? 'If you want to spend time with him, find a common interest'. How about we both think I'm an idiot? This is not going to lead to Jared and me becoming friends. This is going to be a disaster. They already laughed at me once. If I go through with this, it's going to be as bad as football. Except none of these kids could actually hurt me if they punched me.
Jared said I'd ruin the play. If Edlund is crazy enough to give me a part, there's no way I'm taking it.
Jared felt sick reading that last entry. He imagined how he would feel if he heard what Jensen had heard and felt even worse. He wondered why Jensen even cared what he thought. He went to shut the book completely but only succeeded in turning to a page near the front.
The only good thing about getting jumped by those guys from Hamilton was Jared talked to me again. He actually looked concerned for a minute. Then Rosenbaum said something that made it sound like I was gay, and Jared walked away. Maybe he's a homophobe. At least then he wouldn't be perfect.
Jared began to flip through pages looking for his name again and hoping there was something he could use to convince Jensen not to hate him, or that he didn't hate Jensen, when he saw his name in all capitals.
Olsson followed me into the locker room again. Guess the kidney punch he gave me on the field just wasn't enough. Who shows up in time to stop me from getting payback? JARED PADALECKI. In nothing but a towel! Naked Padaleckis need to come with a warning cuz ALL my blood ran south. Thank god I was wearing a cup so he couldn't tell, but DAMN. Jared Padalecki in a towel is my new favorite thing. He was so fucking hot. I thought I was going to pass out. Then he kept standing there when I was going to change. It was like every fucking dirty thought I've ever had was live and in person in front of me. God I don't even know if I looked him in the face. I'm pretty sure my eyes never left the towel; I kept hoping it would fall off. Of course if it did, I probably would have fallen to my knees. Shit. I am not going to be able to look at him tomorrow in class.
Jared stared at the page. He remembered that day. He remembered Jensen's ass in those pants and how he looked stretched out on that bench. He wondered how many times he fantasized about finding Jensen alone like that in the locker room. That's when he knew he had to man up and tell Jensen how he felt.
part 2
"What's the matter, Jared?" Jensen grinned mischievously. "Don't you want to unwrap your present?" There was a definite tease to his words and Jared's mouth went dry. "Come on, Jared, you know you're gonna like it." While biting his lip, Jensen let his shirt slip from his shoulders to puddle at his waist.
Jared whined and reached for Jensen's waist band. "Do you want me to take these off, too?" Jensen whispered.
"Yes," Jared panted. Best Christmas ever. Finally getting Jensen naked was going to make everything from the past few months worth while. Jared's eyes slowly drank in every inch of Jensen, from his silky blond hair to the curve of his lips, down his chest and his abs, and then to where his hands were tugging his pants down.
"Yeah?" he sighed.
"Jared?"
He whimpered unexpectedly.
"Mr. Padalecki!"
Jared bolted upright in his desk, his knees slamming into its legs and causing the whole thing to skid noisily.
"Back with us?" Mr. Singer asked, glaring at him in annoyance while most of his classmates snickered.
Jared, bright red with embarrassment, wiped at his mouth self-consciously. "Yes, yeah, sorry."
"Dude," Chad whispered, "you were making some seriously happy noises."
"Shut up, Chad," Jared hissed under his breath. He cautiously looked around the room. Most of his classmates had gone back to listening to Mr. Singer. Most, but not Jensen. Jensen was looking at him with a hint of concern on his face. The moment he realized Jared was returning his gaze, he turned away.
Jared scowled. Of course he'd have an erotic dream in a class he shared with Jensen. He couldn't be more embarrassed.
Mr. Singer thought otherwise. "Well, Mr. Padalecki? Are you ready to explain why Archduke Ferdinand's assassination led to World War I?"
Jared swallowed his groan. "Yes, Mr. Singer." He paged through his notebook until he heard the teacher clear his throat. He looked up and saw the teacher pointing to the podium. Oh god, not in front of the class. Jared prayed that no one would notice he was sporting a semi hard-on as a result of his dream.
He told himself not to look at Jensen, but since he sat in the first row, it was difficult to miss him staring up at Jared, and sucking on his pen.
Jared and Jensen never ran with the same crowd, but their school wasn't that big and everybody pretty much knew each other. Jensen was a bit more of a jock. As a junior, he was already the starting running back of the varsity football team. Jared tended to favor more academic pursuits like mathletes, debate team, and forensics. However, this didn't mean that Jensen was stupid or that Jared wasn't athletic. Jensen, like Jared, was in the top ten of their class and Jared had made the varsity basketball team.
Jensen had taken an immediate liking to Jared. The guy was funny as well as interesting and intelligent, a rarity in Jensen's experience. Jared, on the other hand, was suspicious of Jensen's motives nearly from the moment they met. Sure, the guy was attractive and seemed to be able to charm everyone, but Jared was sure Jensen was manipulating people.
Two years earlier
The first time Jared saw Jensen was in their freshman science class. They had been taking notes; Jensen was sucking on his pen and dragging it against his lower lip. Never had Jared wanted to be a cheap plastic pen so badly. He wondered distractedly if Jensen knew how obscene he looked. The teacher could be explaining the meaning of life for all Jared cared; he had to meet the boy with pretty eyes and the oral fixation.
After class, Jared followed him down the hall, hoping to see that they shared another class, only to be disappointed when he saw Jensen shove a smaller boy into a locker door making the row of lockers rattle. It didn't matter that the boy appeared to be grinning, bullying like that always bothered Jared.
They had two classes together freshman year, art and science, both of which became Jared's worst classes. He blamed his lower-than-expected grades on the distraction named Jensen.
Sophomore year they were thrown together even more as they had some classes as well as lunch and study hall together. Jensen always smiled and said 'hello' to him and Jared would usually say it back, but sometimes he'd just nod, not wanting anyone to think they were friends.
In the fall of their sophomore year, Jensen told him he should try to get a place on Homecoming Court as the representative for their class. Jensen told all his friends to vote for Jared, much to Jared's annoyance. The day before the actual voting Jared cornered Jensen. "What do you think you're doing?" he demanded. "Why are you trying to get me on Homecoming Court? I'm not even on the football team."
Jensen looked surprised by Jared's questions. "Because you're a cool guy. And why does it have to be a football player all the time? Homecoming is supposed to be for everyone, yet this school always tries to force everyone to choose football players." Jared still looked unsure, so Jensen continued to try to persuade him. "Jared, everyone likes you. I thought it would be easy to convince people to vote for you."
Jared crossed his arms and shook his head. "What made you think I would want anything to do with Homecoming?"
Jensen looked slightly crushed. "Sorry. I guess I didn't think that you wouldn't want to do it. Don't worry, I can tell the guys not to vote for you. I wasn't trying to make you mad."
He actually looked disappointed, but Jared was immovable. He wasn't going to be the butt of an elaborate joke.
Despite Jensen's promise, Jared found his name on the ballot the next day. By lunch he learned that even though Jensen had told his friends not to vote for him, enough other students did and he was elected to court.
"Jared!" Jensen caught up with him after school. "Look man, I know you didn't want this, but I guess I was right because even with my friends not voting for you, you made it."
"Yeah, thanks," Jared snapped sarcastically. "Just what I always wanted."
Jensen smiled weakly. "On the bright side, you were chosen by the majority of our class and that means you'll be able to get any girl you want to be your date."
Jared groaned. "That doesn't make this any more appealing. I'm not mister school dance and shit."
"Oh," Jensen thought a moment. "Well, a bunch of us are going stag. You're standing up with Katie, but that doesn't mean she is your date. You can hang out with us if you like."
Jared studied him, hoping to discover what the joke was, but Jensen's wide eyed expression made him look sincere. "I don't know."
Jensen sighed. "Maybe you could talk to Mr. Carpenter. He can get you out of it. I mean, all you should have to do is say you don't want to do it. It's not like they can force you," Jensen suggested, hoping Jared understood how truly sorry he felt.
Jared shoved past him. "But it was okay for you to force me."
Jensen followed him. "I didn't say that. And how many times do I have to apologize? I was trying to do something nice."
"Who asked you to?"
Jensen shrunk from the anger in Jared's eyes. "No one. I…," he paused, unsure how to continue. "I like you. You're a really nice guy, when you're not giving me this death stare. I just thought…" He stopped again and sighed in defeat. "Never mind. I'm sorry all right? What do you want me to do?"
Eat shit and die, long walk short pier, rot in hell... Jared's list scrolled through his mind, but he settled on, "Leave me alone and don't try to do 'something nice' for me ever again." He left Jensen behind at the doors to the school.
The Homecoming dance wasn't as horrible as Jared thought it would be. He took his friend Genevieve as his date and they doubled with Chad and Sophia. When court was announced, and he and Katie took their places on the stage, Jared saw Jensen and his friends cheering for him.
During the court's dance, Jensen approached Genevieve. "Hi, Gen, you look really nice."
She blushed, "Thanks, Jensen, so do you. Who did you bring?"
"No one. Well unless you count Tyler, but a bunch of us went stag, you know because of how this school is so unwilling to accept change."
"What are you talking about?"
"Do you remember last year? Tyler's brother was elected to prom court, but the administration wouldn't let him stand up because he's gay. A bunch of us didn't think that was fair, so we're trying to change things. Our counselor, Mr. Ladouceur, said we should start small and gradually make changes." Jensen shrugged. "I don't think it's going to make an impression on anyone."
Gen smiled at him. "At least you did something, right? I mean Jared's not in football and neither is the junior rep."
"I guess." He shrugged again. "Hey, you wanna dance while Jared's busy?"
Genevieve answered with a bright smile. "Sure, I'd like that."
As they danced, Jared glared at them from across the gym. He was so disturbed by seeing Gen and Jensen dance, that his escort, Katie, asked him what was wrong. "Nothing really," he grumbled. "It's just Ackles is dancing with my date."
"Well, you're dancing with me," she needlessly pointed out.
Jared nearly snapped out, "Because I have to" but thought better of it and said, "I know, but I don't like him with my date."
Katie squeezed his hand reassuringly. "He didn't even bring a date and you kinda have two, so don't worry about him."
As soon as he was free, he rushed back to Genevieve and demanded, "Why were you dancing with Ackles?"
"We were talking and then he asked if I wanted to dance since you were busy. What's the big deal? It was only one dance, Jared."
"Yeah, I know, but --"
"And you and I just here as friends, so I should be able to dance with anyone I want to."
"Yeah, I know."
"He was just being nice."
"Okay," he whined. "I got it. Geez." Couldn't she see that she was the only girl Jensen had asked to dance? Couldn't she see that it was because she was Jared's date and Jensen was trying to ruin their night?
Later, Jared and Chad were waiting for their dates to leave the restroom, when Jensen and Tyler joined them. "Hey, a bunch of us are going to Dairy Queen after this. You wanna come with us?" Jensen asked.
"Can't. Sophia's parents are really strict and she has to go home right after the dance," Chad answered, looking disappointed.
"Sorry." Jensen turned to Jared. "What about you and Gen?"
Jared squinted at him, wondering what the guy was trying to accomplish, when he heard Genevieve ask, "What about me and Jared?"
Jensen grinned at her. "A bunch of us are going to Dairy Queen later, we were wondering if you and Jared wanted to come along."
"Sounds like fun," she replied, "but we doubled with Chad and Sophia, so we can't."
"Too bad, I guess we'll see you on Monday," Tyler said and they walked away.
Chad laughed quietly. "I think those two are dating each other."
"Really?" Sophia asked not bothering to mask her excitement at the gossip.
Chad hunched a shoulder. "I don't know. They're just always together, you know? And they did go to homecoming together," he added with a knowing nod.
Gen rolled her eyes at Chad's assumption. "You're an idiot. A bunch of guys went stag, doesn't mean they're gay. It just means they support people that are."
Jared rolled his eyes. There was no way Tyler or Jensen was gay or even supported gay rights. They were jocks and everyone knew jocks hated gay guys. And that was when it clicked. That was why Jensen had wanted him to be involved in Homecoming, he had found out Jared was gay and was trying to humiliate him.
When the dance was over, Jensen approached Jared one more time. "I talked to Tyler's brother. He said he could give you and Gen a ride if you want to join us."
"So you can hit on my date some more?"
"What? No," Jensen sputtered. "I was just --"
"Just 'trying to be nice'?" Jared glared. "Stop 'trying to be nice', Jensen and leave me alone."
Jensen blinked at his admonishment and mumbled, "Okay."
Jensen adhered to Jared's directive to be left alone until February, but it wasn't his fault the rule was broken. Their history teacher assigned them to a group project which would be the majority of their grade. Jensen was psyched because his group was Jared, Felicia Day, and Tom Welling; it meant he was practically assured a good grade. Jared was irate. Felicia was cool and Tom was alright for a jock, but Jensen? Jared was pretty sure Jensen never cracked a book. He wondered what he thought he could contribute. After getting the assignment, Felicia and Jared decided to meet in the library during study hall to get started. Jared hadn't thought to ask Jensen to join them even though he had the same free period.
Of course that didn't stop Jensen from going to the library during their study hall. He didn't see his group, so he dropped his stuff on the nearest table and headed for the 930 shelves to find some books they could use. When he turned the corner, he heard someone whispering about him.
"I don't get it. Why don't you want to work with Jensen?" Felicia asked when they arrived at the shelves.
Jared stared at her, wondering why anyone would want to work with Jensen. "Well, for starters, I think he's a lazy dumb jock who thinks the rest of us are here to do his bidding and tell him how lucky we are to know him."
"Wow." Felicia blinked up at him. "Seriously? He's never been anything but really nice to me."
Jared snorted. "Yeah, he's a regular fucking prince charming. That doesn't mean he's actually nice. He just uses people."
Felicia shook her head. "I don't know Jared, you might be surprised. Jensen's like… really smart."
Jared rolled his eyes. He had seen Jensen exchanging homework with other people too many times to take that statement seriously.
The following Monday, Jensen nervously approached the group. In his hands were a flash drive and five typed pages. "Um, hey, I, uh, don't want to cause any problems, but I don't want to work in a group."
Felicia and Tom both asked, "What? Why?" Jared only smirked.
Jensen could barely meet their eyes. He nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "My schedule is kind of full and I wouldn't really have time to meet with y'all, so, well, it's just better this way." He pretended not to notice how Jared tapped Felicia like an 'I told you so'. "But, well, I didn't want to leave you hanging so I did this." He handed the papers and the flash drive to Felicia. "It's five pages on how Rome's lack of a police force contributed to its fall. I cited my sources. It's all on there."
"You did five pages this weekend?" Jared didn't bother to hide his skepticism.
Jensen leveled his gaze at him. "Yeah. Like I said I didn't want to leave you hanging. Since it's supposed to be twenty pages and there're four of us, I wrote five. Seemed fair." He looked at Felicia. "The file is on the drive so you can change the formatting or whatever." Jensen returned to his seat and began planning his solo project.
Tom paged through Jensen's work and smiled; at least this part would earn them an 'A'. He handed the papers to Jared, who took them figuring he'd find a Wikipedia entry retyped. Instead, he found a well written paper. He was convinced Jensen must've copied it from somewhere.
For the rest of the school year, Jared paid more attention to Jensen's academic achievements, hoping to catch him cheating. The fact that the guy seemed to be just as smart as Jared only irritated him more. Why was Jensen so easy going when Jared had to study every night to maintain his grades?
To make matters worse, one Monday the school was swirling in gossip about Jensen. There were dozens of different stories, ranging from him being arrested to getting in a fight, but the one main thread was that he was gay.
Jared wasn't sure what to believe. Not even Chad knew the truth. Jensen was in class, and he certainly had some bruises, but Jared wanted to know what really happened. "Jensen, what happened to your face?" he asked bluntly before the class bell rang.
"I stopped someone's fist with it. A couple times. Not as much fun as it sounds," he quipped, waiting, testing to see if Jared would ask anything else.
"Yeah, kinda a stupid move on your part."
"Maybe, but sometimes, if you believe in something, you gotta take the punches."
Before Jared could ask anything else, Mike Rosenbaum walked in and interrupted them. "Hey, Rocky, looking good."
Jensen grinned. "F- you, Mikey."
"Yeah, you wish you could get some of this," Mike replied, grabbing his butt for emphasis. "How's Tyler doing?"
"He's fine. His eye's messed up, but he'll be back in school tomorrow."
"Cool," Mike nodded. "Well, I got your back if anything happens before that, okay, my little rainbow riding unicorn lover?"
"What?!" Jensen asked, laughing at Mike's endearment. But, instead of saying anything else, Mike blew him a kiss and skipped to his seat, making Jensen laugh more. Jensen's smile faded when he turned to see Jared looking at him oddly.
The bell rang, class began, and that was the last chance Jared had to talk with Jensen.
As with most high schools, Jensen's story faded into the background as the gossip mills churned out new tales every day. The only person who didn't forget was Jared, but he wasn't sure how to get to the truth. It bothered him because even though he hated violence, Jared knew sometimes standing up for what you believed in led to actual physical confrontations. But what he didn't know was if Jensen was defending a cause or just fighting.
In late spring, Jared tried out for and landed the role of George Gibbs in the school's production of Our Town. It wasn't the lead, but it was a pretty important role.
The cast party on the final night was big enough that Jensen and some of his friends were also there. Jared had just finished getting a plateful of food when Jensen approached him. "Hey, Jared, you were really awesome tonight. I didn't know you were into acting. I mean, I'd be scared shitless up on stage with everyone staring at me like that."
If he didn't know better, Jared would have thought that Jensen had gone out of his way to congratulate him. He shrugged. "I'm in forensics and it's not that different from that."
"Forensics? Isn't that CSI? What's that got to do with acting?" Chris Kane asked from his practically permanent spot next to Jensen.
Jensen chuckled and shoved Chris before turning back to Jared. "Sorry, excuse Chris. He's an uncultured idiot."
Chris smirked, "You don't keep me around for my brains, sweetheart."
Jared quirked a brow and looked back and forth between the two of them. "Right, well, glad you liked it," he replied, shoving past them.
Jensen watched him walk away. "Went well."
"Yeah, he said a whole sentence this time." Chris patted his arm. "Dude's way too classy for you anyway."
"Shut up."
Jared joined Chad and his girlfriend Kenzie in the other room. "I'm surprised so many people are here."
"Really? Why? Just because we turned my bonfire into your cast party doesn't mean it wasn't going to be an awesome party," Kenzie pointed out.
"Yeah," Chad agreed. "Who did you see that surprised you?"
"No one." Jared looked back at where Jensen was laughing with Chris, Tyler and Mike. Did he have to look so hot when he laughed?
Chad followed Jared's gaze. "Oh, that 'no one'," Chad grumbled, earning him an irritated look from Jared.
Jared couldn't stay in a sour mood, though because Colton Haynes chose that moment to join them. "Hey, Jared, You were really good as that George guy."
Jared smiled. "Thanks Colton."
Colton smiled and bit his lip in show of nerves. "So, um, there's a fire going in the fire pit outside. Wanna go check it out?"
Jared's grin grew wider. "Sure, why not."
Colton did not hesitate letting Jared know exactly how he felt, holding his hand as they made their way outside. When they took seats by the fire, Colton sat between Jared's legs with his back on Jared's chest, wrapping himself up in Jared.
Colton turned his head and kissed Jared's jaw. "You're so hot. And I don't mean because of the fire."
Jared huffed a laugh. Everyone knew Colton was a harmless flirt. Usually, Jared would ignore his advances, but tonight he was feeling high from his performance and the attention felt good. "That was pretty cheesy, even for you."
Colton grinned sheepishly and laughed. "Yeah, but is it working?"
"It's working," Jared laughed and turned to kiss him properly.
Although he enjoyed the kiss, he didn't want to make out in front of an audience, so he pulled back. He looked around the fire but no one seemed to be paying attention to them. Movement by the door caught his eye and he turned to see Jensen walking back into the house. Jared wondered what Jensen had thought when he saw them kiss, if he saw them at all.
The flirtation with Colton was over by the end of the school year. The good thing about summer break, as far as Jared was concerned, was that he didn't have to see his classmates every day. The best part was getting his driver's license. However, that too was balanced with the chore of driving his sister around.
Every Wednesday, Megan had guitar lessons from six to eight in the evening. Jared would drop her off and then drive to Chad's to play X-box until it was time to pick her up.
Jared knew he was going to be in trouble when he was twenty minutes late to pick up Megan, but in his defense, it was the first time he had been close to beating Chad. He was okay with Megan being angry. He would make it up to her so she didn't tell their mom. However, when he arrived at the music store, he didn't expect to find his sister hanging out with Jensen.
He really didn't expect the guy to walk her to the car, either.
As she climbed into the car, Megan turned to Jensen. "Thanks, Jensen."
"No problem, Megs."
Jared scowled. What right did this guy have using that nickname?
"Hey, Jared," Jensen said through Megan's open door, "if you're going to be this late, you should call. I can give Meg a ride home if you can't."
"What the hell is it to you, Ackles?"
"We closed twenty minutes ago. If I hadn't seen her sitting there, I would have left. I have a little sister, too, and I wouldn't want her to wait out here all alone."
Jared rolled his eyes. Who the hell did this guy think he was? "Whatever. Don't you think she's a little young for you?"
Megan blushed a furious red and whined, "Jared!"
Jensen's jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed, then he shook his head and turned to Megan and tried to smile. "I'll see you next week, Megan. Keep practicing."
During the ride home, Megan berated her brother for embarrassing her in front of Jensen, who was 'so cute' and 'so nice' and basically the best thing to happen to Megan since the dawn of time and why did Jared have to be so mean?!
Jared stopped listening almost immediately. His mind was consumed with how good Jensen looked with his sun bleached hair and tanned skin. Just how was that guy real? Ignoring his sister's enthusiastic rambling he asked, "What was Jensen doing there?"
"Lessons, duh, and he works there," she replied like it was the most obvious answer in the world.
Jared was never late again. In fact, there were times he arrived early enough to eavesdrop on Jensen's lesson. After finding him practicing his guitar, Jared sat outside the room and listened. Occasionally, he heard Jensen singing along, but he could never hear clearly enough. The sound of his voice was always too muffled.
One time, he was nearly found out by Jensen himself. He was sitting with his head cocked toward the door, hoping to catch every note, when the door was opened and Jensen walked out with Chris Kane. They didn't seem to notice Jared.
"I love it, man, but you should sing it," Chris said.
Jensen shook his head. "No way. I'll play back up, but I'm not singing in front of everyone."
"Well, you gotta sing something or Kripke said you wouldn't get full credit."
Jensen groaned. "But, I'm god awful. The audience will run screaming from the place."
Jared jumped to his feet. What audience? Where? He had to be there. Hot or not, there was no way he was going to miss an opportunity to see Jensen embarrass himself in front of an audience.
Once Megan's lesson was over, she made Jared wait as she ran up to Jensen and Chris. She held up her sheet music and began to babble excitedly, making Chris and Jensen smile at her enthusiasm. When she left them, Jared couldn't help but notice the elbow nudge Chris gave Jensen when they saw him, and the shove Jensen gave him in return.
After weeks of enduring the torture of seeing Jensen get tanner and more blond, Jared'd had enough. He was going to swallow his pride and talk to Jensen and maybe, just maybe, if the talking went well, ask if he wanted to hang out. Jared didn't know if the 'gay rumor' was true, so he wasn't going to push his luck. He just wanted a chance to find out.
Jensen was at the music store when Jared dropped off Megan. He was looking through a rack of sheet music when Jared thought he had an opening and took his first brave step. Jared didn't notice the guy next to Jensen until he put a hand on Jensen's back. Low on his back. With his thumb slowly stroking the curve of Jensen's spine. Jared wanted that to be his hand so badly he felt ghostly ribs of the cotton on his own hand. Not wanting to get caught staring, Jared spun around and tried to hurry away but bumped into a display of music used on Glee and had to grab it before it fell. If Jensen saw him, Jared wouldn't know; he was too embarrassed and jealous to look.
The image of that hand on Jensen's back haunted Jared constantly. He couldn't explain why it affected him so much, but it was suddenly his goal to become the only one that could touch Jensen like that.
The following Sunday afternoon, Jared and his family had to sit through hours of listening to students with varying degrees of musical abilities for Megan's recital. Jared slouched in his chair and played angry birds for most of the time, until his mother elbowed him to pay attention as his sister took the stage. She cleared her throat and began to sing Taylor Swift's You Belong With Me when a guitar string broke and she froze, uncertain what to do and close to tears.
Before Jared could laugh, his mother's sharp elbow to his ribs shushed him. His attention was now focused on the stage where Jensen was suddenly at his sister's side. In his hand was another guitar, his guitar. "Hey, happens all the time, Megan. Even to Taylor Swift, but she has a roadie to hand her another guitar. Just pretend I'm your roadie and go on," he whispered encouragingly.
With her emotions under control, Megan nodded and started again. She finished with no problems and Jared stood to go when his mother stopped him. "It's not over. Sit back down."
Jared rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. Would he ever be allowed to leave? Jared tuned out the man that stepped on stage and rambled on about something utterly useless to Jared. However, his attention was awakened when Chris Kane and Jensen Ackles took the stage.
Chris grinned and announced, "We're going to perform three songs for you. The first is Angeles by Elliott Smith. The second song is Faster by Matt Nathanson, and then we'll end the show with a song written by Jensen called Let me go and let you all get out of here."
Jared smirked at Jensen's nervous appearance, but stopped as they began to sing. Enthralled as he was with the performance, Jared was barely able to manage hitting the record button on his iPhone.
When the three songs were over, the room erupted in applause, much more applause than the other students had received. Jensen's eyes widened in shock and his deer in the headlight look made Jared laugh.
Once school started, Jared grew more obsessed with Jensen. They had a few classes together, and Jensen was always polite, but he seemed to go out of his way to avoid Jared. Soon, Jared decided that even though he was physically attracted to Jensen, the guy still shared homework assignments with others, he was arrogant about being the starting running back, and seemed to flirt with as many girls as guys. Jensen Ackles was hot as hell, but not the kind of guy Jared ever wanted to date.
Because he was on the basketball team, Jared would occasionally use the school's training room after school. He had just finished his shower when he heard arguing.
Someone snarled, "You should just quit, princess." It was followed by the sound of someone's body hitting a locker.
"You'd like that, asshole, but that's not going to happen." Jared recognized Jensen's voice and walked closer.
"Think about it," the other guy drawled. "I'd hate to have something happen to that pretty face of yours."
"Aw, you think I'm pretty." Jensen's retort was enough to get him shoved into the lockers, again.
Not sure what to do, Jared started whistling and turned the corner. Pretending he hadn't known they were there, he cheerfully greeted them, "Hey, guys."
Jensen had just grabbed the jersey of the other player, about to retaliate for the shoving, when Jared's greeting stopped him. He released the other guy with a small push. "On the field, Olsson."
The guy glared at Jared then left Jensen with the threat, "This ain't over."
Once alone, Jensen slowly pulled off his jersey and sat on the bench to catch his breath.
Jared appreciated the play of muscle on Jensen's back as he tore off his shirt and the sight of him in just his tight football pants as he lay back. But even that wasn't enough to distract him from a painful looking bruise that was low on his hip. Jensen sighed heavily and lay back on the bench.
Concerned, Jared walked over. "You all right?"
Jensen opened his eyes and blinked up at him. After a second, he coughed and said, "Yeah. I'm fine. A couple seniors don't like that I took the starting spot, no big deal." Jared didn't look like he believed him, so Jensen continued, "Seriously, it's nothing, just a little hazing." As he sat up, he winced slightly. "I'd appreciate it if you'd keep this between us. If you tell the coach, it's just going to get worse."
Jared thought for a moment, but relented, "Okay, I won't say anything, but you shouldn't let them get away with it."
Jensen smirked. "My mad skills on the field will shut them up soon enough." He stood and opened his locker which meant the conversation was over. No matter how much he wanted to, Jared couldn't stand there and watch Jensen peel off the uniform pants he was wearing.
Jared went to many football games -- not just to watch Jensen. That was just a coincidence. Jensen was the starting running back and played nearly every down. He also seemed to score a touchdown at least once a game and if he didn't, he got the team within field goal range. Only Jared noticed how often a block was missed when Jensen ran and how often a certain teammate didn't help him up.
Then it happened. In the second last game of the season, Olsson purposely missed an easy block. Two defenders tackled Jensen with such force that the sound of the collision silenced the crowd. Jared, along with the rest of the fans, stood, watching in agony as Jensen didn't get up. The trainer and the coach went onto the field. Then, a stretcher was brought out. Then a sickening hush fell over the entire field as the paramedics were called onto the field.
Jensen missed a week of school due to having both his acl and pcl in his right knee torn. Emergency surgery repaired what it could, but no one thought he'd play again. He seemed to have such a bubble of anger around him that only his closest friends dared to go near him. This was why no one was with him when Ty Olsson confronted him by his locker after school.
Chad and Jared were making their way out of the building when they heard, "It's a shame about your leg, Ackles."
Jared couldn't believe his ears. Was Olsson sincere? Chad grabbed his arm and dragged him back towards the lockers.
Jensen slammed his locker. "Fuck you, Olsson. Good luck getting to state without me."
"At least I won't have you pervin' on my ass."
"You fucktard, no one's interested in your ignorant ass."
Olsson barked a harsh laugh. "I'm good with that. Are you good with no schools being interested in broken fa--" He didn't have a chance to finish. Somehow Jensen propelled himself forward, knocking the other guy the ground.
Jared and Chad were on them instantly, trying to separate them. A moment later, teachers were there, pulling them apart. "What's going on here?" Mr. Singer demanded, staring down the four students on the floor.
Chad put his hand out to Jensen and helped him up, while Jared shoved Olsson to push himself up. Chad was first to speak. "Well, Mr. Singer, as you know, Ty's had problems reading defenses all season. Jared and I were trying to help him with his blocking. Jensen here was just attempting to walk through his simple off tackle run, when his bum leg made him fall. Padalecki was already in motion, so there was no stopping him and we all ended up on the floor."
Jared thought Mr. Singer's eyebrows had disappeared into his hairline the man had raised them so far. "Well if that ain't some sweet smelling manure you're trying to sell me." He looked at each student in turn and then decided to question Olsson. "Well, Mr. Olsson, is that what happened? Was Padalecki trying to show you the proper way to block some one?"
The boy dragged his resentful eyes from Jensen, glared at Chad and then said, "Somethin' like that."
The other teachers shrugged. None of them had seen anything. Mr. Singer sighed. "All right, get out of here." He grabbed Jared's arm. "Couldn't you have shown him before he cost Ackles his knee?"
When the teachers had shuffled back to their rooms, Jensen muttered a quiet thanks to Chad.
Chad grinned. "Dude, what were you thinking?! You just had surgery. You can't go a couple rounds with that shit head."
"Yeah, I know, but he's been an asshole all season."
"I should have said something after what happened in the locker room," Jared interjected quietly.
Jensen turned to him. "No. It's better that you didn't. And you shouldn't have done anything now."
Jared snorted. "Were we supposed to just let him beat the crap out of you?"
Jensen glared. "Better me than you and at least then he'd be off the team, too," he snapped before hobbling away on his crutches.
Jared stared incredulously at him as he walked away. "Can you believe that guy?"
Chad shrugged. "I don't know. I heard he lost a scholarship. I'd be pissed, too."
When basketball season began, Jared often saw Jensen and his clique of friends at the games. Unfortunately, he always seemed to be watching when Jared made a mistake. Knowing that Jensen must be criticizing him, Jared felt unreasonably irritated every time he saw him.
The only school event Jared really cared about was in early January: the auditions for the school play. This year, Mr. Edlund and Mr. Carver were directing Romeo and Juliet. From the moment it was announced, Jared planned on being Romeo.
The auditorium was dark, but it was buzzing with the voices of potential actors. Some veteran crew members had closed the curtain and set the lights. Mr. Edlund took his seat in the center of the audience. He held a stack of papers and a clipboard. Mr. Carver soon joined him and together they stood to address the crowd of students.
"As you know, Shakespeare is a challenge, but all of you are familiar with the story of Romeo and Juliet, so you'll find the language soon becomes second nature," Mr. Carver announced. "Everyone who filled out a form will get a chance to audition."
Mr. Edlund looked around. "We're glad to see some new faces and this gives us the chance to explain our process. Once everyone has read their lines, we may call some back to hear you read again, or to read for another character. As this may happen more than once, do not plan on leaving after your first reading."
"Everyone will have a chance to perform a selection more than once. Then Mr. Edlund and I will make our decision and post the cast list on the theater door before the end of school tomorrow."
"You then have the choice. The choice to join us, sign your name and sell your soul to the theater. Or cross out your name and deny the world your talent," Mr. Edlund said with a flair of drama.
Mr. Carver shook his head at Edlund's antics. "And there you have it. We'd like to have some sort of order, so we are going to call your names in alphabetical order. You will then proceed to the stage and tell us which character you are reading for. Give us five minutes to get organized, and we'll begin."
Jared looked around at his competition. It looked like the usual crowd and he didn't feel too threatened. He'd get Romeo or one of the major characters at least, for sure. He nodded to Sandy and she waved. She'd be Juliet; no one else had as much experience.
His musing was interrupted by Mr. Carver calling the first name. "All right, first up is a newcomer. Everyone remember your manners and keep silent while we listen to Jensen Ackles."
Jared bolted upright in his seat. Jensen? What the hell was Jensen doing there?! Since when did he think he could act? The murmuring in the auditorium told Jared he wasn't the only one surprised to see Jensen.
"Quiet down everyone. Now, Jensen, we know you're new to this, but which part were you going to read?"
Jensen cleared his throat, "I'm hoping for a small part, like 'page', but I didn't see that on the script choices." His reply earned him a small tittering of laughter and he blushed.
"No one reads for the small parts, son," Edlund replied amused. "Do you think you could read for Tybalt?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Good," Mr. Carver said. "I'll read Capulet's lines."
Jared was stunned as he listened to Jensen's performance. He was good; he spoke the lines clearly and in the proper rhythm.
When they were done, Mr. Edlund said, "Jensen, turn to the first page, and read the prologue for us."
Jared cursed under his breath. Asking him to read another part right away meant they thought he was good, too.
It was painful to wait for his turn, but finally Jared was called. As he flawlessly performed the balcony scene, he forgot about Jensen's performance and focused on his own.
After what seemed like forever, the directors called various students to perform again and much to Jared's chagrin, Jensen read for several characters, including Mercutio, which was the only role other than Romeo that interested Jared.
He was forced to ignore his self-doubt when he was called to play opposite Jensen in the scene between Tybalt and Romeo. It was uncomfortable, but they made it look easy.
After the auditions, Jared, Sandy and Milo huddled. "Ackles was pretty good," Milo admitted, needing his friends to soothe his nerves.
"Don't worry, Milo. This isn't High School Musical and he's no Zac Efron," Sandy said reassuringly.
Jared nearly laughed. With how well Jensen could sing, they'd all be in trouble if it was a musical. Behind Milo, Jared could see Jensen gathering his belongings. "Sandy's right. Jensen was okay, but you have more experience. Besides, Carver and Edlund will see that he'd ruin the play. He doesn't know what he's doing."
"Yeah," Sandy continued, "he's a jock. No real brain power there."
Milo didn't look convinced. "I don't know. Between him and Jason, I'm not feeling that confident."
"There are so many good parts for guys in this play, you have nothing to worry about," Sandy said as she put her arm around him. "Come on. We'll rent the Leonardo version on the way home and pig out on ice cream while we watch. See you later, Jared."
The next day, Jared was a ball of nerves. He knew he had a part, but waiting all day to see if Jensen was also cast, was killing him. He couldn't pay attention in his classes and he wasn't the only one. Sandy had forgotten her assignment in math, Milo's name was called three times in English before he answered, and in history Jensen accidentally spilled the contents of his backpack while looking for a notebook. He turned every shade of red as he hurried to gather his belongings. In his rush, he missed a notebook that had slipped under a nearby bookcase. After class, Jared retrieved it and slipped it into his own pack.
In study hall, Jared opened Jensen's notebook, hoping to play a harmless prank. However, it wasn't simply a notebook. It appeared to be a journal. Forgetting about his classwork, Jared began to read. It felt so clandestine, that he kept looking around nervously as if waiting to be caught.
It's not fair that coach is still making me tutor these guys. There is no way I'm doing their work for them. Fuck that. I've got enough of my own work to do. I don't see why it's my responsibility to make sure they pass.
Jared read a little further. Five guys? Jensen was tutoring five guys in math and another couple of guys in history. No wonder he was always passing papers back and forth. He wasn't cheating, he was tutoring.
Jared groaned at his complete misunderstanding. He should stop reading. It felt wrong -- it was wrong. These were Jensen's personal thoughts and Jared would hate it if anyone read his private thoughts, so he should stop... wait is that my name?
Since it was about him, Jared felt vindicated in reading at least this one paragraph more.
I've really tried to stay away from him, but Jared is involved in everything which makes it kinda hard. I hate that I think he's hot given that he hates me, but in my defense he's perfect. He said these ridiculous puns in science today which were hilarious, but no one else seemed to get them besides Ms. Ferris.
Jared smiled to himself. So Jensen thinks I'm hot. He decided it was okay to read the entries with his name. He paged back a bit and found:
Turns out Jared isn't a homophobe. It's me. He just hates me. Saw him making out with Colton Haynes at the party, so obviously it isn't a gay thing. It's me. Wish I knew what I did to make him hate me. I didn't think it would hurt so much or even bother me to see him with someone else. I know I don't have a chance with him, but it still sucks. I tried talking to him tonight, but, as usual, he acted like I was diseased.
Jared hung his head feeling ashamed. He shut the book and returned it to his backpack. He needed a way to return it to Jensen without the guy knowing he had it.
After school, there was already a small crowd around the auditorium doors when Jared arrived. As he stepped up to join them, Jensen was making his way out of the throng with an indiscernible look on his face. Several students turned to look at him as he left and their mumblings soon got louder. Jared heard one kid say, "What did he do that for?"
Suddenly he had his arms full of Sandy McCoy. "Jared! We did it! We're Romeo and Juliet!" she squealed. She handed him a pen. "Here, go sign your name and we can grab our scripts."
"Yeah, sure," Jared replied distractedly, taking the pen and easing his way to the front. After signing his name, he read the cast list, looking for Jensen's name, but he didn't find it. Instead, next to Tybalt, he saw a name scribbled out.
"I don't know why he bothered auditioning if he didn't want a part," Sandy said, as she suddenly appeared next to him.
"Yeah, weird," Jared agreed. They began to walk to where they would get their rehearsal scripts, Jared realized he could read Jensen's journal if he wanted to know his motive for auditioning. "San, I just remembered I have to pick up Megan. My mom will kill me if I'm late again. I'll grab a script in the morning."
Jared sat in his room staring at the journal. It was wrong, but he had to know. It had already cleared up other misconceptions; it should help explain why Jensen didn't want to be in the play, right? Jared argued with himself for several minutes before cursing his own weakness and opening the book to the last page.
What the fuck am I doing here? Why did I let Ladouceur talk me into this? 'If you want to spend time with him, find a common interest'. How about we both think I'm an idiot? This is not going to lead to Jared and me becoming friends. This is going to be a disaster. They already laughed at me once. If I go through with this, it's going to be as bad as football. Except none of these kids could actually hurt me if they punched me.
Jared said I'd ruin the play. If Edlund is crazy enough to give me a part, there's no way I'm taking it.
Jared felt sick reading that last entry. He imagined how he would feel if he heard what Jensen had heard and felt even worse. He wondered why Jensen even cared what he thought. He went to shut the book completely but only succeeded in turning to a page near the front.
The only good thing about getting jumped by those guys from Hamilton was Jared talked to me again. He actually looked concerned for a minute. Then Rosenbaum said something that made it sound like I was gay, and Jared walked away. Maybe he's a homophobe. At least then he wouldn't be perfect.
Jared began to flip through pages looking for his name again and hoping there was something he could use to convince Jensen not to hate him, or that he didn't hate Jensen, when he saw his name in all capitals.
Olsson followed me into the locker room again. Guess the kidney punch he gave me on the field just wasn't enough. Who shows up in time to stop me from getting payback? JARED PADALECKI. In nothing but a towel! Naked Padaleckis need to come with a warning cuz ALL my blood ran south. Thank god I was wearing a cup so he couldn't tell, but DAMN. Jared Padalecki in a towel is my new favorite thing. He was so fucking hot. I thought I was going to pass out. Then he kept standing there when I was going to change. It was like every fucking dirty thought I've ever had was live and in person in front of me. God I don't even know if I looked him in the face. I'm pretty sure my eyes never left the towel; I kept hoping it would fall off. Of course if it did, I probably would have fallen to my knees. Shit. I am not going to be able to look at him tomorrow in class.
Jared stared at the page. He remembered that day. He remembered Jensen's ass in those pants and how he looked stretched out on that bench. He wondered how many times he fantasized about finding Jensen alone like that in the locker room. That's when he knew he had to man up and tell Jensen how he felt.
part 2