[John]

[jill_langston]

It was late afternoon by the time Jill found herself ready to return to New Atlantis. Rodney had gone back only a few hours earlier and she'd promised to be there that night, prepared to follow him soon after he'd gone, but her stop up at the Compound had changed her plans a bit. Information seemed to spread like wildfire on the island and she hadn

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[flyboy_shepp]

The first knock, John had studiously ignored. He'd been making a game out of staring up at his hut ceiling and seeing how long he could go without thinking about anything at all.

When he realized Jill was the one knocking, John considered still not answering for a second. He knew exactly what she was referring to, and while he still wasn't in the mood for company, drinking didn't sound like a bad idea.

He opened the door, unsurprised to see the bottle of wine in Jill's hand. An eyebrow went up. "Whole bottle this time?"

[flyboy_shepp]

John nodded, and took another drink. It made sense, even if he was finding it increasingly harder to live by.

He thought about what he was going to say next, then decided screw it. Jill might be able to actually say something helpful, unlike Rodney, who...had made some scary kind of sense, actually. "I kissed someone. On Christmas."

[jill_langston]

"Yeah?" Jill asked, looking over at John with her eyebrows raised before she gestured for the bottle. Rodney had mentioned something once about a woman and John, but she couldn't remember if he'd told her a name or even what he'd said.

"Who? Or is that being too nosy?" Not that she cared, she wanted to know who it was.

[flyboy_shepp]

"Her name's Alice," John said as he handed the bottle over. "She's on the ITF." Which, of course, was John's main problem with the entire thing - and he was lucky enough they were still friends, after that.

[jill_langston]

Taking a sip from the bottle, Jill nodded, leaning back a little in the car. Resting the bottle of wine against her thigh, she tipped her head slightly so she could look at John.

"And is that how you met her or is that your way of telling me it's an issue?" she asked. "That you're both on the ITF, I mean."

[flyboy_shepp]

"Both," John answered, staring intently at his boots. He felt a little weird bringing it up, but not so much with Jill. "She's a friend," he added, waving a hand vaguely before rubbing the back of his neck.

[jill_langston]

"A friend on the ITF whom you've kissed," Jill said, not entirely catching on to what John was saying. "Was it just one of those things you want to never mention again or do you like her?"

It seemed more likely to be the latter, considering he'd brought it up now.

[flyboy_shepp]

"Somewhere in between," John eventually answered, after shrugging and failing to come up with a better response. He honestly didn't know what the hell to think. "She seemed happy to forget about it."

[jill_langston]

"I'm not asking about her, I'm asking about you," Jill answered, taking another swig from the bottle before she passed it over to John again. "Look, if you like her, do something about it. Maybe she seemed happy to forget about it because you seemed happy to forget about it."

It was unspoken that she thought he should do something about it because no guarantee that Alice would still be on the island in a month.

[flyboy_shepp]

John glanced over at Jill as he took the bottle, and did his best not to squirm - as much as he appreciated it, there was always something that made him uncomfortable about people knowing him so well.

"Say I do something," he began slowly, "what happens when she's gone? I can't keep doing this."

[jill_langston]

"I know," Jill said softly, thinking of Radek and David and Rodney. She'd lost them one by one and although Rodney and Radek were back, it had never been the same. When David had disappeared she'd wondered if she would ever be able to deal with that and in some ways she still hadn't. "But what if she goes and you don't do something? Isn't it possible she'd be worth the risk?"

[flyboy_shepp]

John took another drink, and almost didn't answer Jill. As much as he liked to think time made it easier to deal, he was already down for the count. "That's what I thought about Dylan."

[jill_langston]

"And I know you feel like shit right now, because I do too, so I know that if I ask you if you were right, you're probably going to say no," Jill answered. "So I won't ask, but if you want my opinion, I don't think you should let the chance go by."

[flyboy_shepp]

John knew he was in absolutely no state to be making any kind of decision like that, but he nodded, at least taking in Jill's advice. He had (however uninentionally) asked for it, anyway.

He held the bottle back out and slouched down a bit, getting a little more comfortable in the seat. "You're not bad, Jill," he told the metal bars above them.

[jill_langston]

"That's what they tell me," Jill answered with a faint smile, looking ahead at the bars as well, watching as the sun dipped down behind the trees. "I guess you're not so bad either."