Six Things That Will Irritate Your Friendly Local Porninatrix:
(Do I have to preface this with "Some Links Not Safe For Work, Children or The Emotionally Fragile? No? Good.)

1)I'm Normal, Normal I Tells Ya!
Don't offer me "normal" as your only qualifier. For example:
Customer: I need replace my wife's vibrator. It was just a normal one.
FLP: Rightio ( Read more... )

I've used this avatar three times today.

Every time I've selected it, I've felt the urge to hold my right hand aloft and chant "Teh!" in a very solemn fashion.

If you are going to insist on having an ill-combed neck beard, the sort that makes you look like you're burrowing through a bale of coarse, dirty wool, at least make sure you don't hide dead animals it in. Because that will make you smell. It will make you smell so very badly that I, veteran of many sweaty summers in sex shops frequented by the ( Read more... )

Everyone reading this must immediately go to Purely Natural downstairs at Broadways on the Mall and buy one of everything, with drinks, and leave the biggest tip you can manage. This includes you, Extremely Limited American Readership. The lady working there when I collected my breakfast told me I looked beautiful. Anyone who has ever seen me first ( Read more... )

Tingly, numbening lips?

Handfuls of chocolate-covered coffee beans may not be a dinner food after all.

So apparently I've been selling Viagra for the last year or so:

A herbal sex-enhancing product has been urgently pulled from pharmacy shelves after it was found to contain the active ingredient in the erection drug Viagra.Did I ever laugh. Can't comment too much, since I would strongly suspect that Pfizer is going to hand the manufacturer his arse ( Read more... )

Not Safe For Work?

Shows what you know, tubes! I laugh at your NSFW!

*muhuhahahahahahahaha!!*