After an incredible weekend, constant stimuli and new people, three days/nights of dance, a couple of prolonged altered states, getting paid, going out for dinner, kissing W___, losing contact of the floor on Friday, losing my contact lens on the floor on Saturday, wandering around Penn Station half blind at five in the morning twirling a scarlet ( Read more... )

Sun was hot and bright, spent four hours sitting on the easy chair at the Indian restaurant waiting in vain for customers but with beatific calm because I knew I would not have to ever do it again. Somehow the day passed, I went for a run, discovered the large cemetery that’s only a five minute walk from my house, made an incredibly extravagant ( Read more... )

There was an article in the NY Times today about how there is a great increase in college dropouts now in their mid-twenties facing the same challenges that J and I and most of our friends face: we’re from working and middle class families who’ve dreamed big for their children and yet can’t necessarily put them through school. We’re faced with an ( Read more... )

I fear that reality pales in comparison to the vision. I don’t really know what I want to study in school. Biology, blah. Dance, Spanish, French, clay sculpture, literature, history, philosophy, and Sanskrit all sound better to me than science. Yet stronger in me than anything, even art, even intellect, is the love of nature and adventure. And ( Read more... )

Yesternight at the Beltane festival I danced the spring in as Persephone around the bonfire, but during the day I unpacked my tool kit full of latex paints and brushes and sparklies and glitter and spread out a blanket on the grass and painted kid's faces all afternoon.  And I realized afterward that it was the first time I remember really ( Read more... )

Sefirah (pl. sefirot) is a channel of Divine energy or life-force. This most fundamental concept of Kabbalah is that in the process of creation an intermediate stage was emanated from God's infinite light to create what we experience as finite reality. These channels are called the Ten Sefirot, Ten Divine Emanations, Ten Divine Radiances, Ten ( Read more... )

Went to Mikio and Serpentessa’s house for meeting on Mercuralia, listened and paid attention to the way an event like this one is planned and organized, though I contributed little. Watched Serpentessa’s python undulate around her body absentmindedly, thought about a lot of stuff on my hour drive home, which I will relate at some point when I am ( Read more... )

There are growing (rapidly, tantalizingly) two separate social groups around me. One is these people from the city and from the frolic, who are interested in me, it seems, and who have cast me as Persephone and call me Sefirah and think I’m amazing, and the feeling’s heartily mutual. It feels so right, I lack a better phrase, it feels so familiar ( Read more... )

Watching young girls do cartwheels in the yard across the street. I envision a time and place where there is no traffic and the only sounds are the birds and the wind, where land is not owned by anyone. It is not right that a person must travel forty miles just to build a bonfire. Fire and windsong are rights of all humans, and speed is the ( Read more... )

If something happens twice is it a pattern? I seem to be ideal bait for rich forty- or fifty- something entreprenur divorcees with leftward leanings from the City, and I find it rather disgusting. These men who are just SO eager to talk to me, to establish that we have oh so MUCH in common, that shake my hand so tightly, that humbly and with the ( Read more... )