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[jennerose]

So, I don't talk about my feelings a lot on the internet. People who know me know that I'm pretty open, often to the point of making other people uncomfortable. As upfront as I can be, though, I am often very reserved when it comes to my real feelings about a situation

Comments

[walkawayslowly]

I suspect, just dealing with my own grief losing my grandparents, and talking to my parents about losing their parents, that you're right. Sometimes it will be easier and sometimes it will suck. Death sucks, it just does. There is nothing about it that is awesome. But remembering her and honoring her memory will make it less sucky in the long run, I think.

[jennerose]

That's what I figure. It'll always be sad, but someday hopefully it won't be so dang HARD.

How are you holding up, btw?

[walkawayslowly]

So this is totally cheesy, but sometimes when I'm dealing with OMG DEATH SUCKS, I remember that part of Sleepless in Seattle when he's talking about his wife dying. And he says that he's going to keep getting up everyday, and breathing in and out. And eventually he won't have to remind himself to breathe in and out.

I'm mostly okay. Most of my grief has been caught up with a lot of guilt for not paying more attention to my grandparents when they were alive, if that makes sense. Like it's hard to think of them without thinking about all of the times that I did not bother to call them or send them a card, that kind of thing. So. You know. Just a different kind of suck.

[wickedjaw]

Your mom sounds so awesome. I can easily imagine you doing all these things with your family in the future. Also, you are awesome and pretty and I hug you.

[jennerose]

Aww, thanks. She was awesome, which is why we as a family have such a strong foundation for getting through this.

nilky (Doug)

[anonymous]

It never gets over being hard, but it happens that you think of your grief less often. Kinda translates to being easier.
As I was reading your post and thinking about my Mom and Karen, it came out really hard.
Hugs all around, for those of us who have lost loved ones.

mom

[anonymous]

Hey Kate, Was reading my own sg site and forgot I'd put your link there. I've been traveling back into the past today too. My gran at 98 passed away this last March and, even though she lived 6000 miles away, I'm having the same issues you are (as well as my mom); our holidays and birthdays are coming without a card or phone call from her. Forever they have been there and now they aren't. It's hard to adjust and I hope you're doing your best and keeping well Kate.
I think of your mom alot and that story with the Easter baskets and Valentines gifts is precious. It's nice you have such lovely memories.
Take care,
Deb