2544: Falls Apart
So I hadn't even read LJ in the past couple of days and see that Fawx is ready to play Musical Jobs [that is, I take his, not he takes mine necessarily--that would be a HUGE step backwards]. Unfortunately, I'm kinda plodding along at the moment =p and, despite everything I've been saying, am not ready to do all my resumé and interview crap yet. OMGS ANXIETY FTL T_T When, then? I have no idea. It's that awful hurdle of "I have no idea what's in store" fear of the unknown that kept me from getting hired even at Target until late into Q4 five years ago X(
I need to do this, I realize, and soonish. Physically, I'm breaking down after five years of burning the candle at both ends to prove I wasn't just some slacker slacking at a slackable job. Of course, I don't know what I was proving, either, except that I wasn't going to just give up when I started hating the job. Except that's exactly what I'm trying to do ¬_¬
The problem is I don't really have a motivation to do it anymore. I'm not Noisy Gentleman, who has the thickest skin in the world and a "DO OR DIE!!!1" attitude. I'm not Misty, who is a single mother working full-time but has her little boy to motivate her to keep at it. I'm not even "I'm almost $2k in debt with no income, can't afford to stay on my own with a minimum wage job, and have no idea what I'm worth" me from five years ago with that to motivate me to "DO OR DIE!!!1" and be Butch II*. Nowadays, it's more like "DO OR GET PAID A FEW DOLLARS LESS!!!1" and that's obviously not motive enough.
*I can't recall ever calling Butch by that name here. I mean, I will when I retrotag everything, but at the moment, no. Basically she's what it sounds like--Super Tomboy, though she hasn't been with us for something like a year now and, out of fear of firing, I had been compelled to fill her figuratively-large shoes. Not anymore so much, though.
So, problem? Well, really it's that I'm lazy, or I'm afraid of accidentally ruining my chance at the job basically lined up for me by actually applying for it ¬.¬ or all the other hang-ups I have about having to actually interact with people who aren't [very] close friends I'm hanging out with or, at worst, a cashier or server. Yeah, I'm stupid that way.
Of course, I definitely shouldn't put all my eggs into this CustomInk basket and ought to look around in case I flop for what reason. Ungh, but this is exactly the reason I originally wanted to stay with one place as long as they would have me, so I wouldn't ever have to do this again =/
PR: I bomb, as per usual. Dead last for first round, then almost getting first but losing out to Captain Chars 9_9 Power Grid was much better, and I finally got my strategy to work FTW =D although, it was painfully close for playing against a total n00b [jimboomega] and broke down to a tie-breaker. Come to think of it, my last [and only?] PR win was by tie-break, if I recall -_-; but I may be mistaken.
Riddles! I missed a few days of this, but I've tapped most of the really good ones still in memory without getting into the pure math or logic ones =p [like, "Who is the spy?" and a list of statements, I mean]1. How can you cut a cake into eight equal pieces with only three cuts?
This is the first "outside the box" puzzle I remember, told to me by my favourite summer school teacher, Guy Mauldin. There were so many days I wish I had gone to Science Hill so to take his classes, but more than likely it would have been the single oasis in a warring desert T_T that is, not worth the suffering.
Maybe. I mean, who can say with any certainty that "If only XYZ had happened," that a substantially better outcome would have occurred? That's the unfortunate problem with every given moment occurring only once.
Oh yeah, Fawx, I remember that one riddle correctly now =p2. Twice four and twenty blackbirds
a-sitting in the rain.
I shot and killed a seventh part.
How many did remain?
Unfortunately, most of the ones I remember are pretty simple if not EASY [perhaps the riddle is trying to figure out how they're meant to be "hard"?], but that's why I tried to keep as many of the books I could find to counter my swiss cheese memory. [Of course, all my Hawkeye Collins and Amy Adams books at my folks' house...]
I also finally received my brother's "belated 'cause it won't be released until after" birthdays prezzie: Sam & Max Season One =D As per usual, though, it went straight into Fawx's grubby paws and onto his shelf... [still plugging away at Picross]
Which reminds me I have some Soul Nomads to mail ¬o¬
Also, Mike insulting my mother. Though I recall ordering an unsigned copy 'cause it was cheaper and didn't want to feel like it was but a single part of an uncompleteable set, but dunno =p
Tinkering with book... wow, Alex pouts a lot. [Then again, she's basically me...]
I need to do this, I realize, and soonish. Physically, I'm breaking down after five years of burning the candle at both ends to prove I wasn't just some slacker slacking at a slackable job. Of course, I don't know what I was proving, either, except that I wasn't going to just give up when I started hating the job. Except that's exactly what I'm trying to do ¬_¬
The problem is I don't really have a motivation to do it anymore. I'm not Noisy Gentleman, who has the thickest skin in the world and a "DO OR DIE!!!1" attitude. I'm not Misty, who is a single mother working full-time but has her little boy to motivate her to keep at it. I'm not even "I'm almost $2k in debt with no income, can't afford to stay on my own with a minimum wage job, and have no idea what I'm worth" me from five years ago with that to motivate me to "DO OR DIE!!!1" and be Butch II*. Nowadays, it's more like "DO OR GET PAID A FEW DOLLARS LESS!!!1" and that's obviously not motive enough.
*I can't recall ever calling Butch by that name here. I mean, I will when I retrotag everything, but at the moment, no. Basically she's what it sounds like--Super Tomboy, though she hasn't been with us for something like a year now and, out of fear of firing, I had been compelled to fill her figuratively-large shoes. Not anymore so much, though.
So, problem? Well, really it's that I'm lazy, or I'm afraid of accidentally ruining my chance at the job basically lined up for me by actually applying for it ¬.¬ or all the other hang-ups I have about having to actually interact with people who aren't [very] close friends I'm hanging out with or, at worst, a cashier or server. Yeah, I'm stupid that way.
Of course, I definitely shouldn't put all my eggs into this CustomInk basket and ought to look around in case I flop for what reason. Ungh, but this is exactly the reason I originally wanted to stay with one place as long as they would have me, so I wouldn't ever have to do this again =/
PR: I bomb, as per usual. Dead last for first round, then almost getting first but losing out to Captain Chars 9_9 Power Grid was much better, and I finally got my strategy to work FTW =D although, it was painfully close for playing against a total n00b [jimboomega] and broke down to a tie-breaker. Come to think of it, my last [and only?] PR win was by tie-break, if I recall -_-; but I may be mistaken.
Riddles! I missed a few days of this, but I've tapped most of the really good ones still in memory without getting into the pure math or logic ones =p [like, "Who is the spy?" and a list of statements, I mean]1. How can you cut a cake into eight equal pieces with only three cuts?
This is the first "outside the box" puzzle I remember, told to me by my favourite summer school teacher, Guy Mauldin. There were so many days I wish I had gone to Science Hill so to take his classes, but more than likely it would have been the single oasis in a warring desert T_T that is, not worth the suffering.
Maybe. I mean, who can say with any certainty that "If only XYZ had happened," that a substantially better outcome would have occurred? That's the unfortunate problem with every given moment occurring only once.
Oh yeah, Fawx, I remember that one riddle correctly now =p2. Twice four and twenty blackbirds
a-sitting in the rain.
I shot and killed a seventh part.
How many did remain?
Unfortunately, most of the ones I remember are pretty simple if not EASY [perhaps the riddle is trying to figure out how they're meant to be "hard"?], but that's why I tried to keep as many of the books I could find to counter my swiss cheese memory. [Of course, all my Hawkeye Collins and Amy Adams books at my folks' house...]
I also finally received my brother's "belated 'cause it won't be released until after" birthdays prezzie: Sam & Max Season One =D As per usual, though, it went straight into Fawx's grubby paws and onto his shelf... [still plugging away at Picross]
Which reminds me I have some Soul Nomads to mail ¬o¬
Also, Mike insulting my mother. Though I recall ordering an unsigned copy 'cause it was cheaper and didn't want to feel like it was but a single part of an uncompleteable set, but dunno =p
Tinkering with book... wow, Alex pouts a lot. [Then again, she's basically me...]