if shaved head, then red lipstick = ok, else chapstick

[jeliza]

(this is mostly just noodling for my own benefit, since maybe if I write it down I'll have to think about it less

Comments

[laurel]

Well, I find this navel-gazing interesting, but then I have all manner of issues with depression plus anxiety about leaving the house and how I look and so on. I need more dresses and skirts that are soft knits and which fit or maybe I just need to find some of the ones I do own and see if they fit. Gah

[jeliza]

Definitely people will talk to you more with bright hair. The last time i went blue was also the last time i was at a conventially attractive size, and i Could Not Deal with the attention, particularly from men.

[eub]

Just wondering, is it "I wish I didn't have to care, but I do kind of have to, because I care about some of the ways people react to it"? Or "I wish I didn't care (and I don't have to), but my brain does it anyway"? Or some of both? Seems like they might take you in different directions.

[jeliza]

It's the latter; I don't know that anyone else notices particularly, and I'm actually well set up to handle it when other people are confused/bugged by me gender-wise. People read me as a boy/man *constantly* from elementary school through my 20s, even when I wasn't dressing masculine. Which freaked me out as a kid/teen, but I'm totally at peace with now, though it doesn't happen nearly as much now.