Jacob's Journal, Entry 53
When Delilah and I got back from Italy we took the kids to Disneyland to make up for missing Halloween and to give Mom a break from the craziness of dealing with three kids and one Valkyrie on her own. While we were on vacation I confessed to Delilah that I felt the need to go back to Ireland. She wasn’t exactly thrilled with the timing, but said she understood. Getting to see Cole grow up is a gift and it’s something I’m dearly missing with Deidre. Lenore told me when she was born of course but I’ve never seen her. It’s my own fault, I’ve kept my contact with Lenore to a minimum and haven’t gone back to try to see her, so now, with the twins coming I feel the need to try to start building those ties before I’m utterly consumed back the beautiful children I’ll get to see every day.
Before I left for Ireland I finished repainting the nursery and putting two cribs together. I don’t care who you are putting a crib together is torture, pure and simple. Everything was as ready as I could make it, so I packed a bag and took off for Ireland. Not surprising, I wasn’t greeted with open arms (nor did I want to be). In fact, Lenore was distracted and on edge while I was there. Her latest task was to keep an eye on the hiding place of the Black Chest, which holds the Triumph Casq of Sorrows. She was charged with keeping the Casq out of the Fomorians’ hands but since I didn’t know what this thing was I had to do some digging even as I offered my assistance.
The Casq is a legendary thing - it guarantees victory in battle, but at great personal loss - tragedy of some sort up to and including the possibility of death. But at least you win the day, right? Not sure I think the trade off is enough, but it’s not my relic. The thing is Lugh and Mannan Mac Lir magicked and cursed the chest that holds the Casq up one side and down the other. It’s said the one who opens the Chest will die within a year and a day. Nasty curse and one I really don’t want Lenore to have to worry about. Somehow I don’t think I could convince her to send our daughter to me if Lenore’s ever lost in battle.
And speaking of our daughter, the trip to Ireland was a bust. Deidre is in the Underworld currently being raised by the Unseelie court. I have no idea what to think of that. All I know is she’s completely cut off from me and I really can’t stand that thought. Despite Lenore’s antsy state, or maybe because of it I was able to convince her to set up a time when I could meet Deidre. I know she’s going to be raised among the Tuatha, but there’s absolutely no reason she can’t know the other half of her family.
I wasn’t in Ireland for more than three days, when I’d hoped to be there for a week or more. When I got home I spent the rest of the week with Delilah and the kids as I prepared to fulfill my duties for Hel. During the two weeks I spent with her she surprised me by getting measurements and such in order to have armor made for me. I’m both honored at the thought of such a gift, but at the same time feel a bit of concern as I know it’ll Identify me as well…as hers. I’d hoped Mother would have a brilliant plan to get me out of this consort situation I was stupid enough to get into, but so far I’ve heard nothing. I’m going to have to come clean soon, and honestly, I really don’t want to put more strain on my friendships with my bandmates. Carina will blame it all on Mother somehow; Sam won’t give an opinion one way or the other. Helena will probably act as if it means nothing while Cesar will be pissed at me for being disloyal and really that never entered into this at all. Becoming Hel’s consort was more of a snowball effect to my decidedly less than brilliant plan to keep her on the side of the Aesir. Storm…I don’t know how he’ll react, we still haven’t talked about the original situation, much less the more complicated outcome.
And of course that doesn’t even take Delilah into account. I have not mentioned her to Hel as I am almost afraid that if Hel were to realize I was actively involved with someone and care a great deal about her then Delilah would be in danger. Yeah, I know how conceited that makes me sound, but for all her good qualities, Hel is a bit ruthless at times. Delilah knows all about Hel, I haven’t hidden anything from her, but to flaunt my status with Hel in any way seems so disrespectful to Delilah. Maybe I should go on and marry her. At least in the eyes of the mortal world she’ll have all the claim on me she wants. I just don’t know that I can replace Lorraine that way. I don’t know what Mom or Mother would say about it. I’m not really sure who I could talk to about this - at least it’s nothing I have to decide on immediately.
After two long weeks in Helheim I went home with plenty of time to spare before Delilah’s due date. It was a pleasant surprise to get Carina’s call that she wanted to come for a visit just to see the kids and catch up, though I never expected the additional reason. Carina’s pregnant with twins. Of course there’s no question who the father is, I imagine Sam is pretty happy about it, though knowing him, most of us will never realize it. Carina asked if I would give her a blessing of heath to make sure it would be safe for her to keep working and also asked me to keep her pregnancy under wraps for the time being. I couldn’t help but tease her a bit. After inadvertently spoiling Delilah’s chance to tell everyone she was pregnant again and blurting out the news about Hel I could’ve shouted it from the rooftops just for spite but I’m not exactly a spiteful guy. I picked on her a little bit, I know she didn’t mean any harm in either case, so I agreed but I hope she tells them soon. They’ll be happy for her and Sam.
Luck would have it she arrived just in time. The twins decided to come a few days early so we weren’t exactly prepared. Carina stood by to assist and surprisingly so did Caleb. As I delivered the twins Carina took one and Caleb took the other, going so far as to clean her up without more than a minor amount of face pulling at all the blood and other fluids. He’s growing up so fast, but it was really amazing to see him holding one of his baby sisters. I think seeing Delilah go through labor actually calmed some of Carina’s worries. Though she disappeared quickly, giving us space, though I wouldn’t have minded if she stuck around, she seemed to leave much calmer and while no happier (I’m not sure she could’ve been any happier) she seemed a bit more at peace. Learning about that first child is one of the best moments in your life, trumped only by getting to hold them (it’s that way every time too), but while the high never fades the fear you feel right afterwards…well, it gets better. I was scared to death when Lorraine told me she was pregnant with Caleb. Happier than I’d ever been, and nearly as terrified as I was when that boy went up against his first giant. With Maggie? God I was thrilled. The fear, that doubt that I’d be a good parent was only a fraction what it was with Caleb and it gets smaller every time. I’m still scared I’m gonna screw one of these kids up, but it’s no where near as bad as it was the first time around. Carina’ll discover that too I’m sure.
Maggie couldn’t wait to find out what we would name the girls. We refused to say before they were born, I couldn’t settle on a name for either of them, and Delilah wanted to go the traditional route and use their mother and grandmother and great grandmothers ect. as their middle names. We finally compromised on it by sticking to just their mortal grandmothers names. Since Tlazolteotl was technically Delilah’s father in the same way Erika was Rose’s father Delilah didn’t want to use her name, so I argued it wouldn’t be very politic of us to use Frigg’s name either. I’ve been visited by Tlazolteotl once, I didn’t need her showing up over my mother being favored over her. Sure, it’s minor thing but as names have power I could see that being a sticking point for some people. In the end, I was happy with the names we chose for the girls. Delilah introduced Maggie, Caleb, and Cole to their new sisters Sanja Maria and Xiomara Amanda one week almost to the day before I was called back to work. I better be home in time for Christmas damnit.