Redemption Chapter 10
Jared nudged the door shut with the heel of his shoe, the quiet click drowned out by his own moan when Jensen licked into his mouth. His hands slid up Jensen’s arms over the rounds of his shoulders, fingers gripping the material of his shirt tightly to pull them closer together. They stumbled trying to move as one, feet entangling as bodies refused to separate, Jared grunting when his back came up hard against the door jamb.
“Sorry,” Jensen mumbled between kisses, shifting them to the side and pressing the younger man into the wood paneled door. Jared tugged him harder, eliminating any space between them and dismissing his concerns.
Jensen’s fingers drifted up, curling as shaggy chestnut silk ghosted over them, fisting the soft strands in calloused palms. Instinctively, their heads tilted to opposing angles, the kiss at the convergent apex deepening. Breaking for breath, Jensen’s lips blazed a path over Jared’s cheek to the long line of his neck.
“God, Jen,” Jared moaned softly, mindful of young ears nearby. He yanked at Jensen’s shirt, pulling it from his waistband, and attacked the small buttons, fingers numb and incompetent with lust. Cool air caressed the skin of his back, gooseflesh rising in its wake, and he temporarily aborted his mission to remove Jensen’s shirt to lift his arms for Jensen to vest him of his. Skin bare, he returned to his earlier endeavor, sensitive pads desperate to touch.
Jensen pulled back slightly, taking in the sight of Jared’s lightly muscled body. He was gorgeous and Jensen couldn’t stop staring. It was the first time he’d seen Jared completely without a shirt. During their previous make out sessions, Jared’s shirt had been unbuttoned or rucked under his armpits, but never fully removed. Jensen had respected Jared’s modesty, knowing that the younger man still had some body image and self-confidence issues, but seeing the gloriously toned form beneath him, Jensen wished he’d been able to look and touch before. His hands cupped Jared’s face and pressed their foreheads together, green eyes searching in question. “You sure?” Jensen’s warm, soft breath fanned over Jared’s spit-slick lips causing tingles to erupt along the swollen flesh.
“I want this,” Jared murmured, their mouths brushing with each word. “I want you,” he amended. Bringing his hands up to rest on either side of Jensen’s, forefingers and thumbs gently cradling his jaw, he caught his mouth again.
Instantly craving more, Jensen parted his lips, tongue asking permission that Jared immediately granted. He snaked the questing muscle inside and reveled in the quiet groan he felt rumble up from Jared’s throat. He wrested the last few buttons of his shirt free and Jared’s hands urgently slipped under the open material, caressing the smooth, muscled chest beneath before guiding the fabric over Jensen’s shoulders and down his arms. Overheated skin, slick with sweat, met and slid together intensifying their need, smoldering embers joining to ignite into a flash flame. Jensen insinuated his leg between Jared’s, the younger man’s engorged member nestling into the crook of his hip as Jensen’s powerful thigh gently nuzzled his desire-heavy balls. Jensen’s hands circled Jared’s waist, fingers running up the trench of his spine. Jared’s lips stuttered, the kiss faltering for a brief moment, as he pressed hard against the door, preventing Jensen’s hands from reaching his upper back.
“Unh,” Jared turned his head to the side and panted, eyes clenched shut as he rocked against Jensen, the older man lavishing attention on his neck. His fingers dug into his lover’s back, red crescent moons waxing under his nails, Jensen’s hiss against his neck sending shivers down his spine as teeth bit into corded muscle in desirous retaliation.
Hands danced over his ribs and skirted down his flanks, Jared’s shivers intensifying into full body shudders that deepened his rut against Jensen’s leg. Blunt nails traced a tickling path along the waistband of Jared’s tan khakis to the front, fingers freeing the button with an adept twist of the wrist and sliding the zipper down one torturously slow tooth at a time. Jensen’s hand dipped into the open vee, palming the heated cotton-encased hardness.
“Jen!” Jared arched his back, body moving toward the source of warmth and pressure. One hand came up to hold Jensen’s head in place when the other man found a particularly erotic spot where neck met shoulder, hips grinding his aching need into Jensen’s hand. He tilted his head down, licking a wet stripe around the shell of Jensen’s ear and sucking on the lobe, smiling victoriously when Jensen bucked against his hip at the sensation. “Please!” he breathed over the moist skin, getting a bite to that spot in reward. Jensen wasn’t the only one that remembered exactly what buttons to push.
“I got ya, baby.” Jensen leaned his forehead against Jared’s shoulder, heaving breath pebbling Jared’s sensitive nipple and eliciting another groan from the man beneath him. He’d forgotten how responsive Jared was, the slightest touch wracking his body in overloading sensation. He hooked his thumbs under the waistbands of Jared’s pants and boxer-briefs, working them over the swell of Jared’s ass and letting gravity carry them the rest of the way down to puddle around Jared’s ankles. His palms smoothed over the pale mounds, splaying wide and kneading the cheeks, his mouth moving back up to take Jared’s in a heated kiss. He groaned in appreciation, his cock throbbing in gratitude, when Jared worked open the fly of his work pants, the fabric joining Jared’s on the floor with little encouragement.
They continued to kiss, hands exploring newly exposed skin, tactilely remembering the flesh they used to know so well, as they worked to kick off their shoes and free their feet from their pants. Standing unrestricted, Jensen trailed his hands down the back of Jared’s thighs, bending his knees as he hefted the taller man and situated Jared’s long legs around his waist. Even with the muscle and pounds that Jared had gained under the careful watch of Jensen, he was still slim enough for Jensen to support his weight.
Jared made a noise of surprise then locked his ankles behind Jensen’s back and wrapped his arms over Jensen’s shoulders. Jensen’s hard length teased over his entrance with each rut, Jensen’s strong hands palming the cheeks, separating them to ease the glide of the pre-come slick head with each pass. “Oh God!” Jared gasped, writhing in the other man’s arms.
Grunting, Jensen pulled them away from the wall and, staggering slightly under the added weight, carried Jared to the bed. He lowered him to the mattress, crawling on the edge to follow the younger man as Jared scooted back toward the middle of the bed. Stalking his prey, Jensen moved between Jared’s invitingly spread legs, his hands on either side of Jared’s shoulders as he hovered above the flushed man. He dipped his head down, stealing a kiss from Jared’s lips, then blazed a wet, sensual trail over neck and chest, sucking one nipple then the other just for the sounds of pleasure Jared made.
Rising up on the elbows bracketing Jared’s ribs, Jensen looked up at the other man. “Please God, Jared, tell me you’ve got something.”
Nodding his head, Jared flung an arm toward the nightstand, ineffectually pawing at the drawer knob. Chuckling quietly, Jensen leaned over and pulled the drawer open, sighing in relief at the bottle of lube next to a book of crossword puzzles and a dog-eared copy of The Hobbit. Tossing the lube on the bed, he shifted the books to the side and frowned. Removing them completely, the drawer now empty, he quirked an eyebrow at his boyfriend. “Condom?”
Jared flung an arm over his eyes and groaned in frustration. “Don’t need them when it’s a one man show.”
Jensen huffed a laugh and slowly got up from the bed. Jared’s arm flew away from his face and he quickly sat up on his elbows. “You’re not leaving, are you?” he asked, his voice edged in unsatisfied desperation.
“Relax,” Jensen assured, ducking down to place a calming kiss to Jared’s lips. He crossed to his pants and dug his wallet from the back pocket. Opening the billfold, he tucked a finger under one of the flaps and pulled something from the depths. Holding up the foil wrapped package for Jared to see, he smirked and sauntered back to the bed.
“My hero,” Jared breathed, pulling the older man back down on top of him.
“Don’t you forget it, either,” Jensen teased, setting the condom and lube next Jared’s hip where it would be in easy reach. He kissed Jared again then made his way back to where he’d left off. The tip of his nose traveled down the line between defined abs, circling the navel before delving his tongue inside.
Jared twisted and writhed, body trying to get closer and farther away at the same time. Jensen lightly held him down with hands spread wide over his ribcage and his hands roved up the toned arms to rub over Jensen’s muscled shoulders. He jerked in surprise at a pull on the skin below his bellybutton, looking down and laughing at Jensen tugging gently of the downy hair with his teeth. Winking playfully, Jensen released the fine hairs and mouthed his way further down.
His mouth hovered over Jared’s engorged member, warm breaths causing it to jerk and twitch with each exhale. Jared threaded his fingers in Jensen’s hair, urging the man on, and when Jensen licked a broad strip from base to tip they tightened around the strands almost to the point of pain.
“Easy, tiger,” Jensen gently reminded, the grip loosening immediately. One hand encircled the base of Jared’s cock, lazily stroking up the shaft, while the other grabbed the lube. Shifting up on his knees, he swirled his tongue over the spongy head and dug the tip into Jared’s slit, gathering the pearl of pre-come that had gathered there.
Jared arched and thrashed, his fingers slamming down on the mattress to fist in the sheets. He distractedly heard the click of a cap, but it was forgotten as wet heat surrounded the head of his dick, Jensen’s mouth creating a perfect suction. He bucked up, trying to get Jensen to take more of him in, but the older man just moved with him. Relaxing back, he jolted slightly as something wet circled his entrance, pressing against the furled pucker and retreating. He rocked back and forth chasing the teasing touches, desperate for both but catching neither. His growl of frustration was cut off, morphing into a blissed groan as Jensen sank his mouth down Jared’s shaft and his finger past Jared’s muscled ring. He set up a rhythm, mouth and hand moving in synch, adding fingers slowly - a second then a third until Jared was a panting, writhing, incomprehensible mess. When Jared was reduced to whimpers, Jensen pulled off of him with a loud slurp and watched as he crooked his fingers up.
“Jesus Christ!” Jared bowed off the bed, grabbing one of the pillows to cover his face to muffle the loud moan that erupted as Jensen stroked the bundle of nerves again.
“Nope, just Jensen,” Jensen smirked, slithering up Jared’s body, dropping kisses along the way. He pulled the pillow away and gazed into lust-blown hazel eyes. He ripped open the condom and unrolled it down his length, slick fingers passing over it. Dropping all pretense, his face grew serious. “You ready for me, baby?”
“Yeah,” Jared panted, “yeah. I’m good. Just - just go slow. Been a-while.” His hands groped at Jensen’s shoulders - pulling, pushing, shoving, grabbing - in an attempt to maneuver the other man between his legs.
Jensen resisted Jared’s urging hands, gently nudging his hip. “Roll over. It’ll be easier, if it’s been a while.” Jensen forced the words out, his body screaming at him to shut up and get with the program.
“No!” Jared pressed his shoulders deeper into the mattress and shook his head, “I - I. Like this.”
“Okay, Jay, okay.” He kissed the furrow that had appeared between Jared’s eyes, smiling when the worry wrinkled skin smoothed out. He slotted himself between Jared’s thighs, clenching his teeth, eyes rolling up, when the oversensitive head of his demanding cock pressed against the heat of Jared’s prepared entrance. “God, Jay, you sure about this? You gotta be sure? I can stop, but you gotta tell me right now. Please, Jared.” His voice was rough from his early ministrations, but the need was evident in the tone and his ramblings.
Jared smiled up at the babbling man and lay his fingers over Jensen’s swollen lips, silencing the flow of words. “Jensen,” Jared said softly and Jensen abruptly quieted. Jared rarely used his full name unless he wanted his full attention. “I’m ready.” He spread his legs farther apart and lifted his hips, tucking the pillow he’d used to stifle his cries under his ass.
Nodding, Jensen leaned down and kissed him. He hooked one of Jared’s legs over his shoulder, hand wrapping around the thigh to hold it in place, while the other guided him forward into Jared’s welcoming body. He gasped when the mushroom head popped past the initial resistance and stilled, giving Jared a moment to adjust. When the internal muscles relaxed from the pain of the intrusion, Jensen slowly - oh so slowly - pushed in until he was sheathed completely in the velvet heat of Jared’s body. He froze, head resting against the prominent wing of Jared’s collarbone and waiting for Jared to give him the go ahead.
Jared was full, so very full. In the years with Timothy, enjoying sex had become a distant memory. Everything was about Timothy - providing his pleasure, slaking his needs and, more often than not, satiating his temper. He wiggled his hips, Jensen’s shaft embedded in him shifting to rub along his prostrate, Jared biting his lips to force back the moan. “I’m good, Jen. Move, please. Please!”
Jensen slid out slightly and rocked forward again, battling his own urgent need in order to go slow and not hurt his lover. With each thrust, he pulled out more and thrust back in harder, mashing their lips together so they could swallow each other’s moans. They moved together, the years disappearing with each thrust as they fell into familiar motions, bodies recognizing the other and moving on muscle memory to the angle that would provide them both with the most intense sensation. The interceding time, the knowledge acquired from experience, added an exciting element like playing a favorite song in a different octave. It was old and comforting and new and thrilling at the same time.
Jared could feel heat pooling along his spine, the tingle that foretold his impending orgasm. “Jen, Jen, Jen,” he swallowed, “I’m, oh God, I’m close. I’m…” His words trailed off on a moan, fingers digging deeper into the flesh of Jensen’s back.
“Me, too,” Jensen panted, hips pistoning in faster. He’d been staving off his own release, not wanting to reach his peak before Jared. He shifted his legs on the bed, opening them wider, and moved Jared’s leg from his shoulder to his waist. He pushed in hard and deep, pegging Jared’s prostrate directly. His hand curled around Jared’s weeping member, red and throbbing in time with his heartbeat.
“Oh, God,” Jared jackknifed up, body falling back to the bed, “I - Jen!” His internal muscles clenched, body convulsing as Jensen hit the bundle of nerves again, “Jen! Papa!” The twins calling Jensen ‘Papa’, Teddy’s first true indication of acceptance of the older man, had been echoing in his mind and the word slipped out without conscious intention. He only had a moment to worry about Jensen’s reaction to it as thick come erupted from his cock, painting his stomach and chest in the evidence of his ecstasy, starbursts flashing along his vision.
Jensen’s pelvis stuttered, rhythm faltering at Jared calling him Papa, his orgasm overtaking him so fast it stole his breath. “Unh, unh, unh,” he grunted through the aftershocks, falling forward over Jared’s body.
Jared’s arms enveloped Jensen’s body, his fingers stroking down the other man’s spine as he tried to master his breathing. Jensen pressed small kisses to the sweaty column of Jared’s throat, humming contentedly at the loving caress. Rising up on his elbow, he stared down at his boyfriend in awe, fingers tracing down Jared’s cheek.
“That was amazing,” Jensen smirked, pressing a kiss to Jared’s smiling lips.
“If you don’t say so yourself,” Jared teased, leaning up into the kiss.
“I am pretty awesome,” Jensen rubbed the tip of his nose against Jared’s, rolling off the younger man and wincing in sympathy at the hiss he received when he slid free of Jared’s body.
“You are my hero,” Jared reminded, “You always carry a condom in your wallet?” He asked, watching Jensen tie the used rubber closed and toss it in the garbage beside the bed.
“Since Austin gave me my first one in high school,” Jensen smirked, pale moonlight glinting in his mischievous eyes.
“Oh please,” Jared laughed, flopping on his back, “tell me that condom hasn’t been in your wallet for fifteen years.”
Levering up from the bed, Jensen walked into the bathroom. “Nah,” he called though the open doorway, the sound of running water following the word. “Ten at the most,” he added, coming back in with a wet washcloth.
“Good to know,” Jared rolled his eyes, sighing when Jensen wiped him clean.
Jensen tossed the washcloth in the direction of the laundry hamper and settled on his back, arms open in invitation. He smiled when Jared rolled into them and nestled against his side, kissing the mop of brown hair and chuckling when Jared yawned widely. “Get some sleep, Jay. Tomorrow, we talk.”
“Mmm-hmmm,” Jared hummed, eyes drooping shut as he nuzzled into the crook of Jensen’s neck. He drifted off to the smell of Jensen’s heated skin and the steady beat of his heart.
*****
Later, Jensen lay on his side next to Jared as he dozed on his stomach. The younger man had shifted in his sleep and Jensen was taking the opportunity to soak in the sight of the long lines of Jared’s back. It had always been Jensen’s favorite part of Jared’s body. Well, maybe not favorite, but in the top three.
His fingers trailed lightly down an unfamiliar patch of scars in the middle of the man’s back, the healed tissue deep and thick, marring the perfect expanse. He traced each line, following the jagged paths and feeling the smooth, raised flesh. The longest was almost four inches and was the thickest, the injury here the greatest, and Jensen couldn’t imagine what would leave that type of reminder. Jared’s affinity for keeping his shirt on and his reluctance to let Jensen see or touch this section of skin was becoming glaringly apparent. Jared was self-conscious of the marks and didn’t want Jensen to see.
Jared’s shoulders shifted slightly and he began to wake at the touch. Jensen continued to follow the lines, memorization in touch, as if their origin would suddenly become clear.
“You okay?” Jared asked, sleepily.
Jensen hesitated. He wanted to ask, to know, but he was reluctant to break the peaceful contentment that surrounded them. “Nothing,” he murmured quietly and pressed a kiss to Jared’s neck.
Jared considered Jensen in the weak light, rubbing groggily at his slumber heavy eyelids. “You wanna try that again?”
“Where did you get these?” Jensen ran his lips over the scars, tongue tracing each one, feeling Jared shiver at the whisper light touch. He stretched his arm out across the pillows and rested his cheek on his bicep.
Jared’s eyes flew fully open and he quickly turned over, realizing what Jensen had seen. “It’s nothing,” Jared dismissed, scooting closer to the edge of the bed.
“That’s a pretty big nothing, Jared.” Jensen tried to keep the tone light, but the seriousness of the situation sharpened the edge of the words. “You promised we’d talk about this. No more secrets, remember?”
“I - I know,” Jared stammered, face toward the dark window pane, the cold night pressing against the glass. “It’s just…can’t we…I just want to put it behind me. Get past it and move on.”
“That’s just it, Jay. You can’t pretend it didn’t happen. Even if you don’t mean for it to, it’s always hanging over our relationship, coloring everything we do. Sooner or later it will become an issue.” He placed a finger over Jared’s lips, mimicking the younger man’s motion earlier to quiet him. “It will. The only way to get past it, is to move through it.”
Jared searched Jensen’s open, honest eyes. He didn’t want to do this, he didn’t want to relive those years and he certainly didn’t want to lose Jensen over it.
Sensing Jared’s hesitance, Jensen settled on his back. “Come here.”
Jared shifted closer, resting his neck over Jensen’s outstretched arm and pressing their temples together. He bit his lip and stared at the ceiling, fear still paralyzing his voice.
“Nothing you could say could make me leave, Jared,” Jensen assured, threading his fingers with the ones lying on Jared’s stomach, “I love you and nothing that jackass did would ever change that.”
Jared blinked away the tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He’d only ever told Chad about what had happened to him under Timothy’s roof and his best friend had already witnessed some of the worst beforehand. Now, there was so much more to lose. Not just for him, but for the twins as well. Jensen was the father figure Jared always wanted for them - a role model to pattern their lives after. Timothy had taken so much from their lives, he didn’t want him to take Jensen too. He sighed shakily trying to steel himself. Jensen was right though, he couldn’t let this come between them. If he did then he was allowing Timothy to tear them apart. Throwing up a silent prayer, he swallowed.
Part B
“Sorry,” Jensen mumbled between kisses, shifting them to the side and pressing the younger man into the wood paneled door. Jared tugged him harder, eliminating any space between them and dismissing his concerns.
Jensen’s fingers drifted up, curling as shaggy chestnut silk ghosted over them, fisting the soft strands in calloused palms. Instinctively, their heads tilted to opposing angles, the kiss at the convergent apex deepening. Breaking for breath, Jensen’s lips blazed a path over Jared’s cheek to the long line of his neck.
“God, Jen,” Jared moaned softly, mindful of young ears nearby. He yanked at Jensen’s shirt, pulling it from his waistband, and attacked the small buttons, fingers numb and incompetent with lust. Cool air caressed the skin of his back, gooseflesh rising in its wake, and he temporarily aborted his mission to remove Jensen’s shirt to lift his arms for Jensen to vest him of his. Skin bare, he returned to his earlier endeavor, sensitive pads desperate to touch.
Jensen pulled back slightly, taking in the sight of Jared’s lightly muscled body. He was gorgeous and Jensen couldn’t stop staring. It was the first time he’d seen Jared completely without a shirt. During their previous make out sessions, Jared’s shirt had been unbuttoned or rucked under his armpits, but never fully removed. Jensen had respected Jared’s modesty, knowing that the younger man still had some body image and self-confidence issues, but seeing the gloriously toned form beneath him, Jensen wished he’d been able to look and touch before. His hands cupped Jared’s face and pressed their foreheads together, green eyes searching in question. “You sure?” Jensen’s warm, soft breath fanned over Jared’s spit-slick lips causing tingles to erupt along the swollen flesh.
“I want this,” Jared murmured, their mouths brushing with each word. “I want you,” he amended. Bringing his hands up to rest on either side of Jensen’s, forefingers and thumbs gently cradling his jaw, he caught his mouth again.
Instantly craving more, Jensen parted his lips, tongue asking permission that Jared immediately granted. He snaked the questing muscle inside and reveled in the quiet groan he felt rumble up from Jared’s throat. He wrested the last few buttons of his shirt free and Jared’s hands urgently slipped under the open material, caressing the smooth, muscled chest beneath before guiding the fabric over Jensen’s shoulders and down his arms. Overheated skin, slick with sweat, met and slid together intensifying their need, smoldering embers joining to ignite into a flash flame. Jensen insinuated his leg between Jared’s, the younger man’s engorged member nestling into the crook of his hip as Jensen’s powerful thigh gently nuzzled his desire-heavy balls. Jensen’s hands circled Jared’s waist, fingers running up the trench of his spine. Jared’s lips stuttered, the kiss faltering for a brief moment, as he pressed hard against the door, preventing Jensen’s hands from reaching his upper back.
“Unh,” Jared turned his head to the side and panted, eyes clenched shut as he rocked against Jensen, the older man lavishing attention on his neck. His fingers dug into his lover’s back, red crescent moons waxing under his nails, Jensen’s hiss against his neck sending shivers down his spine as teeth bit into corded muscle in desirous retaliation.
Hands danced over his ribs and skirted down his flanks, Jared’s shivers intensifying into full body shudders that deepened his rut against Jensen’s leg. Blunt nails traced a tickling path along the waistband of Jared’s tan khakis to the front, fingers freeing the button with an adept twist of the wrist and sliding the zipper down one torturously slow tooth at a time. Jensen’s hand dipped into the open vee, palming the heated cotton-encased hardness.
“Jen!” Jared arched his back, body moving toward the source of warmth and pressure. One hand came up to hold Jensen’s head in place when the other man found a particularly erotic spot where neck met shoulder, hips grinding his aching need into Jensen’s hand. He tilted his head down, licking a wet stripe around the shell of Jensen’s ear and sucking on the lobe, smiling victoriously when Jensen bucked against his hip at the sensation. “Please!” he breathed over the moist skin, getting a bite to that spot in reward. Jensen wasn’t the only one that remembered exactly what buttons to push.
“I got ya, baby.” Jensen leaned his forehead against Jared’s shoulder, heaving breath pebbling Jared’s sensitive nipple and eliciting another groan from the man beneath him. He’d forgotten how responsive Jared was, the slightest touch wracking his body in overloading sensation. He hooked his thumbs under the waistbands of Jared’s pants and boxer-briefs, working them over the swell of Jared’s ass and letting gravity carry them the rest of the way down to puddle around Jared’s ankles. His palms smoothed over the pale mounds, splaying wide and kneading the cheeks, his mouth moving back up to take Jared’s in a heated kiss. He groaned in appreciation, his cock throbbing in gratitude, when Jared worked open the fly of his work pants, the fabric joining Jared’s on the floor with little encouragement.
They continued to kiss, hands exploring newly exposed skin, tactilely remembering the flesh they used to know so well, as they worked to kick off their shoes and free their feet from their pants. Standing unrestricted, Jensen trailed his hands down the back of Jared’s thighs, bending his knees as he hefted the taller man and situated Jared’s long legs around his waist. Even with the muscle and pounds that Jared had gained under the careful watch of Jensen, he was still slim enough for Jensen to support his weight.
Jared made a noise of surprise then locked his ankles behind Jensen’s back and wrapped his arms over Jensen’s shoulders. Jensen’s hard length teased over his entrance with each rut, Jensen’s strong hands palming the cheeks, separating them to ease the glide of the pre-come slick head with each pass. “Oh God!” Jared gasped, writhing in the other man’s arms.
Grunting, Jensen pulled them away from the wall and, staggering slightly under the added weight, carried Jared to the bed. He lowered him to the mattress, crawling on the edge to follow the younger man as Jared scooted back toward the middle of the bed. Stalking his prey, Jensen moved between Jared’s invitingly spread legs, his hands on either side of Jared’s shoulders as he hovered above the flushed man. He dipped his head down, stealing a kiss from Jared’s lips, then blazed a wet, sensual trail over neck and chest, sucking one nipple then the other just for the sounds of pleasure Jared made.
Rising up on the elbows bracketing Jared’s ribs, Jensen looked up at the other man. “Please God, Jared, tell me you’ve got something.”
Nodding his head, Jared flung an arm toward the nightstand, ineffectually pawing at the drawer knob. Chuckling quietly, Jensen leaned over and pulled the drawer open, sighing in relief at the bottle of lube next to a book of crossword puzzles and a dog-eared copy of The Hobbit. Tossing the lube on the bed, he shifted the books to the side and frowned. Removing them completely, the drawer now empty, he quirked an eyebrow at his boyfriend. “Condom?”
Jared flung an arm over his eyes and groaned in frustration. “Don’t need them when it’s a one man show.”
Jensen huffed a laugh and slowly got up from the bed. Jared’s arm flew away from his face and he quickly sat up on his elbows. “You’re not leaving, are you?” he asked, his voice edged in unsatisfied desperation.
“Relax,” Jensen assured, ducking down to place a calming kiss to Jared’s lips. He crossed to his pants and dug his wallet from the back pocket. Opening the billfold, he tucked a finger under one of the flaps and pulled something from the depths. Holding up the foil wrapped package for Jared to see, he smirked and sauntered back to the bed.
“My hero,” Jared breathed, pulling the older man back down on top of him.
“Don’t you forget it, either,” Jensen teased, setting the condom and lube next Jared’s hip where it would be in easy reach. He kissed Jared again then made his way back to where he’d left off. The tip of his nose traveled down the line between defined abs, circling the navel before delving his tongue inside.
Jared twisted and writhed, body trying to get closer and farther away at the same time. Jensen lightly held him down with hands spread wide over his ribcage and his hands roved up the toned arms to rub over Jensen’s muscled shoulders. He jerked in surprise at a pull on the skin below his bellybutton, looking down and laughing at Jensen tugging gently of the downy hair with his teeth. Winking playfully, Jensen released the fine hairs and mouthed his way further down.
His mouth hovered over Jared’s engorged member, warm breaths causing it to jerk and twitch with each exhale. Jared threaded his fingers in Jensen’s hair, urging the man on, and when Jensen licked a broad strip from base to tip they tightened around the strands almost to the point of pain.
“Easy, tiger,” Jensen gently reminded, the grip loosening immediately. One hand encircled the base of Jared’s cock, lazily stroking up the shaft, while the other grabbed the lube. Shifting up on his knees, he swirled his tongue over the spongy head and dug the tip into Jared’s slit, gathering the pearl of pre-come that had gathered there.
Jared arched and thrashed, his fingers slamming down on the mattress to fist in the sheets. He distractedly heard the click of a cap, but it was forgotten as wet heat surrounded the head of his dick, Jensen’s mouth creating a perfect suction. He bucked up, trying to get Jensen to take more of him in, but the older man just moved with him. Relaxing back, he jolted slightly as something wet circled his entrance, pressing against the furled pucker and retreating. He rocked back and forth chasing the teasing touches, desperate for both but catching neither. His growl of frustration was cut off, morphing into a blissed groan as Jensen sank his mouth down Jared’s shaft and his finger past Jared’s muscled ring. He set up a rhythm, mouth and hand moving in synch, adding fingers slowly - a second then a third until Jared was a panting, writhing, incomprehensible mess. When Jared was reduced to whimpers, Jensen pulled off of him with a loud slurp and watched as he crooked his fingers up.
“Jesus Christ!” Jared bowed off the bed, grabbing one of the pillows to cover his face to muffle the loud moan that erupted as Jensen stroked the bundle of nerves again.
“Nope, just Jensen,” Jensen smirked, slithering up Jared’s body, dropping kisses along the way. He pulled the pillow away and gazed into lust-blown hazel eyes. He ripped open the condom and unrolled it down his length, slick fingers passing over it. Dropping all pretense, his face grew serious. “You ready for me, baby?”
“Yeah,” Jared panted, “yeah. I’m good. Just - just go slow. Been a-while.” His hands groped at Jensen’s shoulders - pulling, pushing, shoving, grabbing - in an attempt to maneuver the other man between his legs.
Jensen resisted Jared’s urging hands, gently nudging his hip. “Roll over. It’ll be easier, if it’s been a while.” Jensen forced the words out, his body screaming at him to shut up and get with the program.
“No!” Jared pressed his shoulders deeper into the mattress and shook his head, “I - I. Like this.”
“Okay, Jay, okay.” He kissed the furrow that had appeared between Jared’s eyes, smiling when the worry wrinkled skin smoothed out. He slotted himself between Jared’s thighs, clenching his teeth, eyes rolling up, when the oversensitive head of his demanding cock pressed against the heat of Jared’s prepared entrance. “God, Jay, you sure about this? You gotta be sure? I can stop, but you gotta tell me right now. Please, Jared.” His voice was rough from his early ministrations, but the need was evident in the tone and his ramblings.
Jared smiled up at the babbling man and lay his fingers over Jensen’s swollen lips, silencing the flow of words. “Jensen,” Jared said softly and Jensen abruptly quieted. Jared rarely used his full name unless he wanted his full attention. “I’m ready.” He spread his legs farther apart and lifted his hips, tucking the pillow he’d used to stifle his cries under his ass.
Nodding, Jensen leaned down and kissed him. He hooked one of Jared’s legs over his shoulder, hand wrapping around the thigh to hold it in place, while the other guided him forward into Jared’s welcoming body. He gasped when the mushroom head popped past the initial resistance and stilled, giving Jared a moment to adjust. When the internal muscles relaxed from the pain of the intrusion, Jensen slowly - oh so slowly - pushed in until he was sheathed completely in the velvet heat of Jared’s body. He froze, head resting against the prominent wing of Jared’s collarbone and waiting for Jared to give him the go ahead.
Jared was full, so very full. In the years with Timothy, enjoying sex had become a distant memory. Everything was about Timothy - providing his pleasure, slaking his needs and, more often than not, satiating his temper. He wiggled his hips, Jensen’s shaft embedded in him shifting to rub along his prostrate, Jared biting his lips to force back the moan. “I’m good, Jen. Move, please. Please!”
Jensen slid out slightly and rocked forward again, battling his own urgent need in order to go slow and not hurt his lover. With each thrust, he pulled out more and thrust back in harder, mashing their lips together so they could swallow each other’s moans. They moved together, the years disappearing with each thrust as they fell into familiar motions, bodies recognizing the other and moving on muscle memory to the angle that would provide them both with the most intense sensation. The interceding time, the knowledge acquired from experience, added an exciting element like playing a favorite song in a different octave. It was old and comforting and new and thrilling at the same time.
Jared could feel heat pooling along his spine, the tingle that foretold his impending orgasm. “Jen, Jen, Jen,” he swallowed, “I’m, oh God, I’m close. I’m…” His words trailed off on a moan, fingers digging deeper into the flesh of Jensen’s back.
“Me, too,” Jensen panted, hips pistoning in faster. He’d been staving off his own release, not wanting to reach his peak before Jared. He shifted his legs on the bed, opening them wider, and moved Jared’s leg from his shoulder to his waist. He pushed in hard and deep, pegging Jared’s prostrate directly. His hand curled around Jared’s weeping member, red and throbbing in time with his heartbeat.
“Oh, God,” Jared jackknifed up, body falling back to the bed, “I - Jen!” His internal muscles clenched, body convulsing as Jensen hit the bundle of nerves again, “Jen! Papa!” The twins calling Jensen ‘Papa’, Teddy’s first true indication of acceptance of the older man, had been echoing in his mind and the word slipped out without conscious intention. He only had a moment to worry about Jensen’s reaction to it as thick come erupted from his cock, painting his stomach and chest in the evidence of his ecstasy, starbursts flashing along his vision.
Jensen’s pelvis stuttered, rhythm faltering at Jared calling him Papa, his orgasm overtaking him so fast it stole his breath. “Unh, unh, unh,” he grunted through the aftershocks, falling forward over Jared’s body.
Jared’s arms enveloped Jensen’s body, his fingers stroking down the other man’s spine as he tried to master his breathing. Jensen pressed small kisses to the sweaty column of Jared’s throat, humming contentedly at the loving caress. Rising up on his elbow, he stared down at his boyfriend in awe, fingers tracing down Jared’s cheek.
“That was amazing,” Jensen smirked, pressing a kiss to Jared’s smiling lips.
“If you don’t say so yourself,” Jared teased, leaning up into the kiss.
“I am pretty awesome,” Jensen rubbed the tip of his nose against Jared’s, rolling off the younger man and wincing in sympathy at the hiss he received when he slid free of Jared’s body.
“You are my hero,” Jared reminded, “You always carry a condom in your wallet?” He asked, watching Jensen tie the used rubber closed and toss it in the garbage beside the bed.
“Since Austin gave me my first one in high school,” Jensen smirked, pale moonlight glinting in his mischievous eyes.
“Oh please,” Jared laughed, flopping on his back, “tell me that condom hasn’t been in your wallet for fifteen years.”
Levering up from the bed, Jensen walked into the bathroom. “Nah,” he called though the open doorway, the sound of running water following the word. “Ten at the most,” he added, coming back in with a wet washcloth.
“Good to know,” Jared rolled his eyes, sighing when Jensen wiped him clean.
Jensen tossed the washcloth in the direction of the laundry hamper and settled on his back, arms open in invitation. He smiled when Jared rolled into them and nestled against his side, kissing the mop of brown hair and chuckling when Jared yawned widely. “Get some sleep, Jay. Tomorrow, we talk.”
“Mmm-hmmm,” Jared hummed, eyes drooping shut as he nuzzled into the crook of Jensen’s neck. He drifted off to the smell of Jensen’s heated skin and the steady beat of his heart.
*****
Later, Jensen lay on his side next to Jared as he dozed on his stomach. The younger man had shifted in his sleep and Jensen was taking the opportunity to soak in the sight of the long lines of Jared’s back. It had always been Jensen’s favorite part of Jared’s body. Well, maybe not favorite, but in the top three.
His fingers trailed lightly down an unfamiliar patch of scars in the middle of the man’s back, the healed tissue deep and thick, marring the perfect expanse. He traced each line, following the jagged paths and feeling the smooth, raised flesh. The longest was almost four inches and was the thickest, the injury here the greatest, and Jensen couldn’t imagine what would leave that type of reminder. Jared’s affinity for keeping his shirt on and his reluctance to let Jensen see or touch this section of skin was becoming glaringly apparent. Jared was self-conscious of the marks and didn’t want Jensen to see.
Jared’s shoulders shifted slightly and he began to wake at the touch. Jensen continued to follow the lines, memorization in touch, as if their origin would suddenly become clear.
“You okay?” Jared asked, sleepily.
Jensen hesitated. He wanted to ask, to know, but he was reluctant to break the peaceful contentment that surrounded them. “Nothing,” he murmured quietly and pressed a kiss to Jared’s neck.
Jared considered Jensen in the weak light, rubbing groggily at his slumber heavy eyelids. “You wanna try that again?”
“Where did you get these?” Jensen ran his lips over the scars, tongue tracing each one, feeling Jared shiver at the whisper light touch. He stretched his arm out across the pillows and rested his cheek on his bicep.
Jared’s eyes flew fully open and he quickly turned over, realizing what Jensen had seen. “It’s nothing,” Jared dismissed, scooting closer to the edge of the bed.
“That’s a pretty big nothing, Jared.” Jensen tried to keep the tone light, but the seriousness of the situation sharpened the edge of the words. “You promised we’d talk about this. No more secrets, remember?”
“I - I know,” Jared stammered, face toward the dark window pane, the cold night pressing against the glass. “It’s just…can’t we…I just want to put it behind me. Get past it and move on.”
“That’s just it, Jay. You can’t pretend it didn’t happen. Even if you don’t mean for it to, it’s always hanging over our relationship, coloring everything we do. Sooner or later it will become an issue.” He placed a finger over Jared’s lips, mimicking the younger man’s motion earlier to quiet him. “It will. The only way to get past it, is to move through it.”
Jared searched Jensen’s open, honest eyes. He didn’t want to do this, he didn’t want to relive those years and he certainly didn’t want to lose Jensen over it.
Sensing Jared’s hesitance, Jensen settled on his back. “Come here.”
Jared shifted closer, resting his neck over Jensen’s outstretched arm and pressing their temples together. He bit his lip and stared at the ceiling, fear still paralyzing his voice.
“Nothing you could say could make me leave, Jared,” Jensen assured, threading his fingers with the ones lying on Jared’s stomach, “I love you and nothing that jackass did would ever change that.”
Jared blinked away the tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He’d only ever told Chad about what had happened to him under Timothy’s roof and his best friend had already witnessed some of the worst beforehand. Now, there was so much more to lose. Not just for him, but for the twins as well. Jensen was the father figure Jared always wanted for them - a role model to pattern their lives after. Timothy had taken so much from their lives, he didn’t want him to take Jensen too. He sighed shakily trying to steel himself. Jensen was right though, he couldn’t let this come between them. If he did then he was allowing Timothy to tear them apart. Throwing up a silent prayer, he swallowed.
Part B