(no subject)
*takes deep breath and screeches* Machen, you FUCKWIT!!!!!
The fuck? "Not your responsibility?!" So who's is it then, you flaming asshat?! ARRRGUH!!! How dare you? How does it feel to know everyone hates you? Do you even care?
Irresponsible, egotistical, uncaring, flippant, traitorous, two-faced, sell-out, bastard!
More when I calm down. *deep breath*
Eta: OK, Shakespeare let out a bit early today, so I may as well clarify my earlier post now.
Machen, for those who are interested, is the President of the University of Florida. My um...diatribe was due to a statement he apparently made at a faculty senate meeting on Friday. But let me back up.
I am an Anthropology major, with minors in Asian Studies and English Lit. All three of those departments are in the same college: the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences (CLAS). CLAS also happens to be the largest college at UF. Not surprising since something like 80% of all gen ed courses are taught through CLAS. In other words, every single student at UF must pass through CLAS at some point in their educational career. It's a pretty important college. Unless you ask the UF administration. They seem to disagree.
Unfortunately, over the past several years, CLAS has not received adequate funding to support its immense size, and has fallen into debt. Not good that. The administration took action and looked for ways to cut back CLAS spending. They brought in an independent consultant to review several of the more costly CLAS departments and find out where the wasted money was. English happens to be one of the departments that was reviewed. Imagine the admin's surprise when the report came back saying that the English department happened to be one of the strongest they'd seen and that the only way they could improve it would be to hire additional faculty. So obviously, the reviews weren't having the right outcome. No worries though, less than four years ago, UF got a new President and his top priority (at least, it became the top one after his meager attempt to curb drinking failed miserably) is to make UF into a Top 10 Research Institution. Lofty little thing, isn't he? So of course, Machen's got a plan, right? I mean, you can't be Top 10 and have a weak, debt-riddled CLAS, right? Well, his plan? It's not so great. In fact, many of us here at UF are wondering what the hell he's smoking.
See, he's decided that since other Top 10 Institutions don't fund their Merit Scholars the way that we do, we won't fund them either. That'll really make the little nerds want to come here! Also, he's decided to spend over $150,000 in the past two years on new advertising campaigns and slogans. Because, after all, UF is the Foundation of the Gator Nation (I forgot how much we paid for that one...Upwards of $15,000)! But, to Machen's credit, he has come up with some Ultra Top Secret Plan to save UF $200 million. Nobody's actually said how he plans to do this, but I'm thinking he's in cahoots with Gico.
So now, the logical thought, and I know I'm not alone in this, is that, Oh, that money is more than enough to bale out CLAS! Yay, we're saved! But see, that's where those of us with a taste for logical thinking are wrong. That money's not for CLAS; we don't know what it's for. Probably bribing the groups that rank colleges.
But, never fear, Machen and his henchmen haven't forgotten my beloved CLAS. They have a Plan. A five-year plan, to be exact. Basically, for the next five years, no teachers that retire will be replaced (80 of them will be retiring in the next 2-3 years), TA's will not receive raises (in-coming grads earn $12,000 a year, returning earn $9,00), said TA's will also be given a heavier teaching load to replace the retiring professors, class sizes will rise dramatically (nevermind that rankings do actually consider student-teacher ratios), and the list goes on. Including the threat of taking on fewer new grads. Several CLAS professors, already fearing for their jobs, have announced that they will begin looking for employment elsewhere.
But, yes, our college will be saved!
Of course, many of us here at CLAS aren't ready to take this lying down. There was an open letter to Machen in the campus paper signed by 48 CLAS grads. By the time the letter was sent to the city paper, the next day, it had over 110 signatures of grads, undergrads, and even faculty. Several CLAS professors (all, I should note, from English) have written eloquent editorials blasting the "plan" and all who support it. Last Thursday, there was even a protest in front of Tigert Hall (admin building), where students (all levels) and faculty requested a meeting with Machen. Because Machen? During this whole thing, he's been silent. Hiding behind his provost and not issuing a single statement about any of this.
Until Friday.
I don't have classes Fridays, the student paper doesn't run on weekends, and I was sick and stayed home on Monday, so imagine my surprise when I snagged a copy of today's paper, flipped to the editorial page to find out what I missed and found that Machen, lily-livered wuss that he is, actually spoke up on Friday afternoon.
I almost wish he hadn't. That five-year plan that his underlings came up with at his request? The one that seems to do everything it can to make sure that UF never reaches Top 10 status? That's apparently not his responsibility. Yeah. He just authorized it. Now he's wiping his hands of it. Which is in NO WAY to say that he's throwing it out. Oh, no. He's keeping it. He's just not taking the blame. I suppose the fault lies in CLAS itself. If only they didn't teach all those stupid classes that everyone has to take. I mean, ENC1101/1102? Biology? Humanities? Western Civ? Algebra? Please, we're in college now! We don't need that stuff! Or better yet, maybe if the faculty would just learn to fail 3/4 of the class and intmidate the rest. You know, turn ENC1101 into a weed-out class like the Engineering college has? That'd take care of everything! Who needs caring professors who want their students to learn? This is university, damn it!
*deep breath* OK, yeah, I think that explains most of it. I don't know if writing this was therapeutic or a health risk. Worked my blood pressure up, at any rate.
The fuck? "Not your responsibility?!" So who's is it then, you flaming asshat?! ARRRGUH!!! How dare you? How does it feel to know everyone hates you? Do you even care?
Irresponsible, egotistical, uncaring, flippant, traitorous, two-faced, sell-out, bastard!
More when I calm down. *deep breath*
Eta: OK, Shakespeare let out a bit early today, so I may as well clarify my earlier post now.
Machen, for those who are interested, is the President of the University of Florida. My um...diatribe was due to a statement he apparently made at a faculty senate meeting on Friday. But let me back up.
I am an Anthropology major, with minors in Asian Studies and English Lit. All three of those departments are in the same college: the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences (CLAS). CLAS also happens to be the largest college at UF. Not surprising since something like 80% of all gen ed courses are taught through CLAS. In other words, every single student at UF must pass through CLAS at some point in their educational career. It's a pretty important college. Unless you ask the UF administration. They seem to disagree.
Unfortunately, over the past several years, CLAS has not received adequate funding to support its immense size, and has fallen into debt. Not good that. The administration took action and looked for ways to cut back CLAS spending. They brought in an independent consultant to review several of the more costly CLAS departments and find out where the wasted money was. English happens to be one of the departments that was reviewed. Imagine the admin's surprise when the report came back saying that the English department happened to be one of the strongest they'd seen and that the only way they could improve it would be to hire additional faculty. So obviously, the reviews weren't having the right outcome. No worries though, less than four years ago, UF got a new President and his top priority (at least, it became the top one after his meager attempt to curb drinking failed miserably) is to make UF into a Top 10 Research Institution. Lofty little thing, isn't he? So of course, Machen's got a plan, right? I mean, you can't be Top 10 and have a weak, debt-riddled CLAS, right? Well, his plan? It's not so great. In fact, many of us here at UF are wondering what the hell he's smoking.
See, he's decided that since other Top 10 Institutions don't fund their Merit Scholars the way that we do, we won't fund them either. That'll really make the little nerds want to come here! Also, he's decided to spend over $150,000 in the past two years on new advertising campaigns and slogans. Because, after all, UF is the Foundation of the Gator Nation (I forgot how much we paid for that one...Upwards of $15,000)! But, to Machen's credit, he has come up with some Ultra Top Secret Plan to save UF $200 million. Nobody's actually said how he plans to do this, but I'm thinking he's in cahoots with Gico.
So now, the logical thought, and I know I'm not alone in this, is that, Oh, that money is more than enough to bale out CLAS! Yay, we're saved! But see, that's where those of us with a taste for logical thinking are wrong. That money's not for CLAS; we don't know what it's for. Probably bribing the groups that rank colleges.
But, never fear, Machen and his henchmen haven't forgotten my beloved CLAS. They have a Plan. A five-year plan, to be exact. Basically, for the next five years, no teachers that retire will be replaced (80 of them will be retiring in the next 2-3 years), TA's will not receive raises (in-coming grads earn $12,000 a year, returning earn $9,00), said TA's will also be given a heavier teaching load to replace the retiring professors, class sizes will rise dramatically (nevermind that rankings do actually consider student-teacher ratios), and the list goes on. Including the threat of taking on fewer new grads. Several CLAS professors, already fearing for their jobs, have announced that they will begin looking for employment elsewhere.
But, yes, our college will be saved!
Of course, many of us here at CLAS aren't ready to take this lying down. There was an open letter to Machen in the campus paper signed by 48 CLAS grads. By the time the letter was sent to the city paper, the next day, it had over 110 signatures of grads, undergrads, and even faculty. Several CLAS professors (all, I should note, from English) have written eloquent editorials blasting the "plan" and all who support it. Last Thursday, there was even a protest in front of Tigert Hall (admin building), where students (all levels) and faculty requested a meeting with Machen. Because Machen? During this whole thing, he's been silent. Hiding behind his provost and not issuing a single statement about any of this.
Until Friday.
I don't have classes Fridays, the student paper doesn't run on weekends, and I was sick and stayed home on Monday, so imagine my surprise when I snagged a copy of today's paper, flipped to the editorial page to find out what I missed and found that Machen, lily-livered wuss that he is, actually spoke up on Friday afternoon.
I almost wish he hadn't. That five-year plan that his underlings came up with at his request? The one that seems to do everything it can to make sure that UF never reaches Top 10 status? That's apparently not his responsibility. Yeah. He just authorized it. Now he's wiping his hands of it. Which is in NO WAY to say that he's throwing it out. Oh, no. He's keeping it. He's just not taking the blame. I suppose the fault lies in CLAS itself. If only they didn't teach all those stupid classes that everyone has to take. I mean, ENC1101/1102? Biology? Humanities? Western Civ? Algebra? Please, we're in college now! We don't need that stuff! Or better yet, maybe if the faculty would just learn to fail 3/4 of the class and intmidate the rest. You know, turn ENC1101 into a weed-out class like the Engineering college has? That'd take care of everything! Who needs caring professors who want their students to learn? This is university, damn it!
*deep breath* OK, yeah, I think that explains most of it. I don't know if writing this was therapeutic or a health risk. Worked my blood pressure up, at any rate.