I had my first date today with someone I met through an online dating site. I suppose I should specify that this date was in-person because we have actually had several phone dates before. This seems to be backwards from the way that I expect things to go. I expect to first see someone in person and then talk to them on the phone or online. Instead ( Read more... )

The more tired and uninspired I get the more I feel the need to fill myself with other people's fantasies and stories. I eat up movies and books and TV shows. The more fantastical the better. Some times dystopian visions will do it, but for the best and most long-lasting charge I need happy endings.If there's no challenge or sadness it doesn't feel ( Read more... )

In a dream last night I heard a voice telling me, "I forgive you." Those are some pretty powerful words, but there are so many questions. What am I forgiven for? Who is forgiving me? I am not much for the concept of sin. If something's wrong then that's enough without the need for additional justification from God or punishment not commensurate ( Read more... )

Where do my desires from? Where do I get my dreams and my values? If all that I believe comes from loving others who believed in those things do I really have my own beliefs. If I believe in peace because I loved women who believe in peace do I really believe in peace? If I believe in feminism because I love a sister who believes in feminism do I ( Read more... )

So I'm back visiting my parents for the holiday. I find myself dreading that conversation about my gender identity that my father wants to have every time I come home. Last time he pulled out a real gem--your sister's landlord is in the closet and well-respected by his neighborhood, couldn't you do something like that?

OK, so I have talked about my ( Read more... )

My parents are willing, sometimes too willing to lend me money. I may need their help in that way at some point, but it's not what I need right now. I am a little light in the self-confidence and street skills. I need to be better at getting regular, high turnover jobs. I need to be better at making phone calls to people. Offering a chance to come ( Read more... )

I was in this circular room with a couple of partners. We had to solve these ppuzzles in order to defeat those who wanted to destroy us. Our time was running out, but it seemed like we we were going to succeed.
Break
I was outside in the yard and I could see this giant ray gun with three prongs was turning, aiming at our place. One of the people ( Read more... )

I have or perhaps had a friend who became my best friend this year. He is more than 30 years older than me. He is also so overweight that he can barely walk. His weight also interferes with his breathing, so he cannot skip hours of being on an oxygen concentrator machine while he sleeps. He was always worried that I would not like him because ( Read more... )

I disgust myself. I have enough money. Why can't I keep track of it? I'm sure it's in the same part of my brain that makes me lose my wallet and my keys. My bank account is in the red again. If only I had been more on top of sending my deposit into the credit union I would be OK. Maybe I really do need a local bank in order to be able to ( Read more... )

How does one get out of being attention starved? At what point does it become possible to get some of this intimacy I'm craving? Being a sex addict may sound silly right now, because by most definitions I have never had sex, but I can see the paths that could lead me there ( Read more... )