Rescue 4/?
Title: Rescue
Author: iDreamofLovex
Paring: Eventual Jane/Maura
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These Characters belong to Tess Gerritsen and TNT.
Summary:I chose Maura. No one had ever been that important.
A/N: Wow, like an ass, I forgot to post this to the community. My Chapters immediately go up on FanFiction .. And for some reason, I just totally forgot to post it here for you lovely people. D:
Anyway, I have Three and Four, which I will split into two posts!
Feel free to yell at me over twitter: @iDreamofLovex
It has been awhile since I last posted here, so here are Chapters One and Two!:
Chapter One The Call
Chapter Two The Scene
Chapter Three: The Truth
"You love me, Jane. Just as I love you."
The look of understanding, the confident stride straight through the doors of the police department. It all left Jane feeling more uncertain than ever. Jane was used to unfamiliarity. She owned unfamiliar territory when she crashed in, gun drawn and in hot pursuit of her latest perp. But Maura's comment unlocked a door to a room within her that she hadn't known existed, and now she was being forced inside without a map. Love. Friends all around her claimed to love each other. It was normal, it wasn't exactly Jane's style, but it was normal. Jane loved Maura whether or not she said it out loud, because Maura was her best friend. It just came with the territory. But, had Maura even been referring to a different kind of love, a love other than friendship? Jane didn't know if she was reading into the situation too much, and that's what bothered her the most- It was the fact that her mind and her heart automatically went to the other kind of love, the love you certainly didn't share with your friends (unless, of course, you were into that kind of thing). Fuck. Jane swept her hand across her forehead in agitation, her fingers raking a path across her scalp.
The breeze picked up her hair, a flowing subtle reminder of the fact that Jane was going to have to stride through the doors eventually. It was highly doubtful that the answer to her questions would materialize in the cement of the sidewalk next to her apparently illegally parked car, and the answers wouldn't have to materialize ever if she just slammed the open door closed and locked it tightly. Done. Yet the shards of the old Jane still remained, slicing at her. When Jane was finally able to gather the shattered pieces of what she had known about her personal life, when she had switched that focus with a tunnel-vision view of her work life, Jane was finally able to ascend the steps of the precinct. Gliding through the door, her jaw square and her head held high, she experienced the first fissures in her perfect facade cracking. Maura had stopped in the threshold, the woman who had been so sure about everything moments before on the steps when she had knocked Jane's world on a tilt, revealing now how unable she was to move on without Jane; move on to witness the aftermath of a crime committed for her, to her, about her. Maura was vulnerable in the worst way, and despite the fact that Jane wanted to run from what Maura had released within her, the need to protect the woman overpowered all aspects of what was work, and what was personal. So she had clasped her hand around Maura's elbow, and gently lead her into the beginning of a different kind of revelation.
"Jane, Dr. Isles." Korsak's smile was kind but hesitant when they joined the uniformed masses. Jane never saw smiles, but she did see the red rimmed eyes and the dark shadows beneath them- Leading Jane to believe that she and Maura had gotten more rest since the case began than he had. Jane, had other things to worry about, like leaving her emotions at the door. Ever since the night of the call, Jane had been clouded. It was no wonder why homicide didn't want her working this particular case. While a fiery passion to capture this man and make him pay shoveled adrenaline into her system, Jane realized that this entire time she had felt thankful. Thankful that it hadn't been Maura lying on the front step when she arrived to the house painted with red and blue lights. How could she expect to get anything accomplished when she was thinking like such... Like such a girl, and not as a homicide detective?
The Boston Police Department made this easier on her. They walked straight into a flurry of motion, the entire squad of homicide detectives littering the room as they shuffled papers and balanced mugs of coffee. Most nodded to her, others grumbled past her as if the case was somehow her fault. To hell with them. Jane glanced over to a wall of computers, Frost's focus clearly and irrevocably intent on the screen, likely hacking some system or another. It was so normal, that Jane regained the 'homicide hop' to her step, feeling the part of her missing since the night of her, return. "Korsak, tell me. What the hell is going on now?" Like a satellite, Maura stayed glued to her side as Jane approached Korsak's desk, where he stood hunched over files and papers and photographs.
Korsak's hesitation was even more evident now. He avoided both of their gazes and shuffled his weight between his legs, inwardly considering the best plan of attack. . "Maura... Err.. You may want to sit down," Jane had never seen her former partner's eyes so soft, not even when the man was looking up cute fuzzy animals on youtube. Shit, this is obviously worse than what was anticipated.. Jane watched as he swept glossy prints from the desk top in front of his chair neatly into his hands, her eyes remaining fixed precisely on the blank backs. Crime scene photos. Jane's eyes itched for them.
There was a shift to Jane's side as Maura's head nodded, but she made no attempt to move. "What ever you wish to tell me, I am prepared to hear." Jane detached herself from the interest of the unrevealed photographs, looking from Korsak's concerned expression, to Maura's feigned look of confidence, dappled by glints of uncertainty hidden within hazel eyes. Her tone was strong, but her mannerisms revealed a different story. There was little keeping Jane from throwing her arms around the woman, and even less keeping her from shutting her out completely after whatever was said outside of the department. Jane settled for the middle ground, again guiding Maura around the desk by the elbow. To her surprise there was no objection when Jane drew back the chair in a loud screech that lost itself among the phone rings and the activity of the department. "Maur please, lets just take a seat, and try to work through this information." Maura sank easily into the chair when Jane gently pressed a hand upon her shoulder, noticing how tense the muscles were beneath the expensive fabric of her shirt.
"Dr. Isles, I really don't know how to approach this one. The guy we're looking for is a sneaky bastard," Korsak shuffled the images in his hands, Jane's hungry eyes watching as he chose one from the stack, and gingerly placed it on the desk before Maura. From behind Maura's seat, Jane leaned over her shoulder as he pushed the image underneath Maura's eyes with his fingertips. Before Jane could even see who it was, likely before Maura could even finish processing it, Korsak was pushing another image of death underneath Maura's nose.
The images were similar. A Y-Incision patterned the chest of the victims, gruesome stitches seeming to hold together what was left. Again, both scenes were clearly dump scenes, absent of blood. Bushy dark locks seemed to be positioned outside what looked like her doorway, the other, in the place Maura saw every day of her working life. Bushy hair.. She had seen it before.. Where had she seen it before? "Wait.. That's the yoga instructor!" Jane exclaimed, her voice trailing off as she connected the pieces. They had gone on a double date with him, arguably the worst double date in the existence of dates due to the aftermath of excessive phone calls and emails.. The other she didn't recognize, but the pieces were there, and it was likely Maura's date of the month. He's targeting Maura's past lovers. At Jane's first instinct, her hands gripped Maura's shoulder, squeezing the form that hadn't shifted in the slightest since the images were laid down. Like a statue, she remained still beneath your hands, her friend's silence weighing heavily on Jane's ears. "Oh, oh honey this is not your fault. Okay?"
Even though Jane was standing right beside her, hand running the length of her shoulders down to Maura's arm in a comforting gesture, Maura didn't seem to hear her. "Brock. This.. This one is Robert Burns, a man I dated around the time of last month. We- " Maura paused, her voice faltering before she swallowed, and picked up as if the lull hadn't happened, "We hadn't been dating long before I broke it off."
Jane grimaced. The body count seemed to be ticking heavy on Maura's shoulders, so heavily that Jane couldn't rub it away. She stilled her hands but the touch remained, just incase the Maura could feel through the layer of ice Jane sensed. "What an animal. I'm on this-" Jane spat out in vengeance, only to be cut off as if she hadn't opened her mouth.
"He's demonstrating through the manner in which he kills that he understands my relation with the dead. Not only do I examine them and learn every detail through their body structure and cause of death, but I learn to understand them. These are offerings, to me, for me, because I've been named 'The Queen of the Dead'." Maura spoke as if there wasn't an audience to hear her, Jane would have missed the statement over the excitement of the office if she hadn't been honed in on Maura.
Oh God. Jane reached over Maura's shoulder to swipe the two crime scene photos off of the surface, hastily attempting to salvage every part of Maura that was still left. Her head remained shifted toward the desk as if the images were burned there, but Jane pushed the photos into Korsak's chest without even a glance his direction. "That's enough for right now!" the words tumbled accusingly out of her mouth, though the blame was far from her former partner's. Jane would work on not completely torching all bridges that were attempting to connect her back to the case, later, having more pressing manners to attend to.
Jane squatted on her heels to gain decent eye level, but when she forcibly swiveled the desk chair around so that Maura was facing her, Jane was looking up at her. It was a tactic she used when dealing with children and teenagers when trying to establish that they had some sort of control or power, but found use of it now after control had been ripped so greedily from the forensic pathologist's fingertips. All perk seemed to have deflated from the once upbeat Maura, and while Jane certainly couldn't expect her to be even half-way normal after seeing her former relationships sprawled heinously across dump sites connected in some way to her, the fact that Maura wasn't even able to mimic some form of compartmentalizing concerned her. The Maura Jane knew was strong and fearless, but this Maura.. This Maura was beaten down. She sat frozen, glassily staring at her skirt, but the proximity to Jane's eyes left her no choice, as a hesitant gaze flickered and met chocolate brown eyes. Scrunched in Maura's lap were her hands, which Jane couldn't help but clutch possessively. Clearly, all thoughts of what happened outside of the department were gone, Jane's insecurities momentarily banished.
"You don't have to do this. I'll gather up these snapshots, we'll go-" Go where? Her apartment was off-limits. Maura's was out of the question. Shit. Jane hesitated, her head whipping up to look around the department, as if the answer would materialize there. No? Fine. "-somewhere.. And, uh, I'll take care of these myself," the recovery wasn't exactly a success, but she worked with what she had.
Sandy locks shook back and forth, not in disagreement, but just.. Shaking. "It is all of my fault. All of these... people." Maura rattled this off as if stating a fact, the latest statistic pulled from her genius head.
The fuse lit. Jane exploded before she could stop herself, "Hell no it's not! Maura, this is the fault of some lunatic psychotic serial killer who has some sort of a sick fixation on you and what appears to be your job. I don't recall you ever killing any of the victims on your table, so don't even start making comparisons, either." Maura would know that her anger wasn't directed at her, but even Jane thought when the words sprang from her lips, that they sounded too harsh, maybe stung a bit too hard for a woman so fragile. It was insane to think that someone so bright would have anything to feel self-conscious about, but cases in the past made Jane believe that the woman before her was trying to correlate herself in some way with the killer. She saw it happen with Hoyt when Maura wasn't even remotely like the monster, and Jane wouldn't risk her getting the same idea.
She thanked her lucky stars when Maura nodded, blinking yet seeming to register what Jane was trying to say. Just like Maura understood where Jane was coming from, Jane understood that they weren't going to get anything else out of Maura, at least for now. Jane squeezed her cool hands reassuringly before standing up, the control over the situation redirected onto the homicide detective.
The olive skin of her face scrunched into a sheepish look, saying 'look, I'm sorry for snapping, but cut me some slack here', all without saying a word. It was lucky for her that Korsak was forgiving, and that they had a history of saying things without really saying anything. He passed the stack of prints into her hands and she grimly smiled in some sort of resemblance of thanks. "The department is footing the bill on a hotel room for tonight. When I say department, I mean Dr. Isles' friends down in the medical department chipped in for it when they heard. Suite too, really nice," Korsak's eyes glittered, Jane could only guess that he was picturing staying in it himself. "Err.. Anyway, we've got detail inside and outside of the hotel. It's possible he might turn it into another dump site, but if not, at least you've got some back up in case anything else goes down."
Jane blinked. A suite, for the two of them? Either Maura's friends were really nice, they were kissing her ass for whatever reason, or it was possible they'd be there awhile. Jane didn't care which one it was, as long as it wasn't Hotel de la Rizzoli. In that case, she wouldn't have to swallow her pride and apologize for storming out, only to succumb to begging for a place to stay for the night- Now that would be embarrassing.
All thoughts of working, all hopes that Jane would resume her position as Detective Rizzoli, Jane kissed goodbye. To actually feel resentful about it would mean that she was resentful about having more time to spend making sure Maura was safe both mentally and physically, so Jane let the fact that she was being less productive than normal slide right off of her shoulders... as much as she could. "Send my thanks to Maur's coworkers." Maura took that as a signal to stand, quickly pushing the chair into the desk.
It was only then, that it hit her. Jane was about to spend the night with Maura. In a hotel, for the most part, alone. After Maura purposely or inadvertently made Jane question her.. Feelings. Her doubts bubbled to the surface, the homicide department no longer keeping it at bay. Not only was this a bad combination, but for once, Jane couldn't run from it. She would have to counter it head-first, because if she didn't, she ran the risk of the Queen of the Dead freezing over completely.
Jane Rizzoli was not gay. Some would maybe argue that the way she preferred playing with the boys, cold beers, and her general behavior was a little.. Butch.. Err- 'Sporty' . But Jane Rizzoli? Not gay.
If she was gay, which she totally wasn't, it at least make for an interesting coming out story. Either Jane would kill herself after listening to the incessant crying of her mother about never getting any grand kids, or her mother would do that for her after realizing how much time and hope she wasted over the years of setting Jane up on dates. Her father probably wouldn't look her in the eye again, ever, and Frankie Jr. would chuckle as if he predicted it or something.
Aside from that, Jane liked men.. Some men, rather. Tough men that enjoyed beer and baseball, not wimpy men who submitted to her every whim. So for her, that settled things- Jane was irrevocably straight. Not gay. Not gay. Not lesbian? Not gay. The mantra repeated throughout the entirety of the drive over to the hotel, a nice high rise that sat on the outskirts of Boston looming into view, overlooking the skyline as it glittered in the night. Rizzoli drove the car in silence. She should have been pressing Maura to speak, who hadn't since the reveal of the victims, but her own thoughts kept her occupied to the point where even the inner dialogue was a little too loud. But she had to keep reaffirming how not gay she was, in case she ran the risk of forgetting later on. Jane had forgotten once, and in its wake she was left wordlessly repeating the stupid mantra. It would not happen again. Maura was her friend, and whatever feelings that were trying to conflict with that were the result of the stress brought on by thinking she had almost lost her. For the one time Jane actually used logic to come to a conclusion instead of her inherent passion, and she couldn't even share the accomplishment with Maura.
Only when the car rolled to a stop did Jane detect movement in her peripheral vision, when Maura finally tore herself from staring mute out of the passenger side window. Jane stole a precautionary glance over to the passenger seat before fixing her sight on the windshield in quick succession. Her heart somersaulted in her chest simply by looking at the skin, paler than usual, and the bloodshot eyes that fought back tears. Visibly, Jane winced. Not just at how hard piecing Maura back together was going to be, but at how hard it was going to be for Jane to get so close to the woman that had recently been leaving her mind swimming in doubt.
The case was screwed from the start. She couldn't help but feel if her body double hadn't shown up dead on Maura's front step, that Maura wouldn't be taking this as hard as she was. Wordlessly, Jane threw the car into park, and scoured the trunk for what little things they were able to bring. Back at her apartment, Jane had dumped a drawer full of whatever it contained into a bag along with a few toiletries, and Maura's bag had been packed from her expected stay at Jane's. Both of the straps Jane slung over her shoulder, before collecting a dull Maura and retreating into their hotel hideaway. Add Joe Friday to a list of animals Frankie was going to have to check on for awhile, and she was set.. If she could find the gall call him.
Maura's friends had really pulled through, and the department had checked them in before their arrival. The hotel staff slipped them the card keys and waved them over to an elevator, Jane's only focus placed into getting them up to the room in one piece. Silence surrounded them through their ascent up the elevator shaft, and followed them into the hotel room after Jane slid the card key into the slot.
She opened the door into what would be the best hotel room Jane had ever stayed in. The Rizzoli bank account could never afford the sweeping views of Boston, a glittering diamond through the wall to wall windows. Jane, normally oblivious to trivial things such as etiquette, almost thought to kick off her shoes before stepping through the threshold and onto the cream colored carpeting.. Almost. It looked more like a fancy apartment, stepping into the living area. A deep red couch faced the views, adorned with matching pillows beaded with fine detail. Jane's eyes swept the room in disbelief, noting double doors that likely led to the bedroom on one side, and on the opposite wall, a doorway that led into an actual, legitimate kitchen decked out in swirling gray marble counter tops and gleaming stainless steel.
"Wow. Wow. You have some really nice friends." Everything was white and pristine, save for the red accents, and Jane hadn't seen anything like it before.
Jane heard the door click closed behind her. "They just feel sorry for me." Maura's indifference was almost lost on Jane, until she remembered that she was used to luxury. Maura passed where Jane rooted herself in awe, traveling in an arc around the back of the couch before lightly perching on a cushion.
"I wish people would feel sorry for me more often.." Jane snorted, speaking to Maura's back. Jane stepped forward, the bags bumping against her thigh, the straps painfully beginning to bite at her neck. She found her legs in working order again, so she made a beeline toward the double doors, and drew them open into an equally spectacular room, yet it's elegance wasn't what had surprised her. The single king size bed did that all on its own.
Jane hesitated before dropping the bags near a chest of drawers, staring at the bed, sizing it up in her head. It would appear that she and Maura were meant to share, which would normally be fine. They had a hundred times before, even had last heart pumped guilty beats in her chest, and before she could question anything again, Jane delved into her bag to retrieve the copies of the crime scene photographs. Swallowing deeply, when Jane backed out of the room, she made sure the doors were shut tightly behind her.
She treaded lightly back into the living space, where Maura hadn't budged an inch on the couch. She placed the images face down on the coffee table on the opposite side in front of where she would sit, and sighed, knowing there was something else she had to do before she could even think enough to focus on them. If Jane didn't just ask, she ran the risk of the whole thing with Maura ruining her focus on what really mattered, catching the killer. Jane wrung out her fingers, pacing in front of the couch before stopping off to the side of where Maura sat. "Maura, outside of the department.. What did you mean?" Damn it, Rizzoli. She had so much else to worry about, they both did.
Maura looked up at her, her face revealing nothing but indifference as the slender shoulders hefted. "What are you saying, Jane, that you didn't understand?" Maura slumped against the back of the couch, as if the thought of explaining anything could actually tire her out.
Maybe it had been a bad idea to ask. The least of Maura's concerns should be about what Jane thought, and she knew that. But since it was all out there, out in the open, Jane pressed on, ignoring the fact that Maura's comment rubbed her the wrong way. "Well, yeah. Kind of." Jane stepped within the narrow spot between the coffee table and the couch, and plopped down on the closest middle cushion. Maura propped her head up by her fist on the arm of the couch to accommodate for the transition, and Jane felt naked as the hazel eyes flickered over her face, considering her, judging her. The seconds ticked on so slowly, that Jane thought Maura may have forgotten what they were talking about. "You're my friend, Jane, of course I love you." Her tone was mechanical. Maura sounded bored, as if she had to explain this to a three year old for the hundredth time, but at the very least, Jane was just content with the fact that she hadn't played dumb.
What had Jane been expecting? Deep, profound confessions of love? Who was she kidding? "Oh, uh.. okay." Idiot Idiot Idiot. Jane scooted down to the farthest cushion on the couch, where the crime scene photos rested patiently on the smooth surface of the table. This entire time, she'd been playing way too much into Maura's words, and what an idiot she had been. Get a grip, Rizzoli. Jane knitted her eyebrows, pissed at herself for assuming otherwise, pissed at herself for coming to the other idiot conclusions.
Neither of them appeared to be tired, and neither of them made a motion to get ready to go to sleep. It had only been a few short hours since they had been at Jane's for dinner, which seemed out of place considering how different things were from just a few hours ago. Jane swept the photos into her hand hurriedly, careful to keep the faces tilted at an angle away from the other side of the couch. The last thing she needed was Maura going catatonic again.
The glossy prints registered a slight familiarity in the back of her mind, but as her eyes scoured the high resolution images, she couldn't place it. Indicated at the top of the pictures in slanted scrawl was the location of images, or where they had been retrieved. The first was a picture of Jane and Maura, taken from afar at one of the team's games. They were standing over something, Maura's ridiculous red and black sporting suit hugging the curves of her body. Jane may have smiled at the memory of Maura hitting a home run, but scrawled at the top: Victim One, Heart. Jane blinked her eyes closed, hard. The picture she was staring at was taken straight from her look-alike's heart. Jane tried to remain cool as she flipped through the various pictures. Victim One, Stomach. Victim Two, Chest Cavity. The only images she didn't have were from victim three, and it was likely Maura's coworkers were retrieving them as she sat there, cutting them straight out of their lifeless bodies. They would likely be similar to the ones Jane flipped through, pictures of Maura at crime scenes overlooking bodies, leaving crime scenes in the medical examiner's van... The gnocchi from dinner began revolting.
Slicing through the silence, a sharp scalpel to Jane's mind. "Why aren't you out working this case?"
Jane's head snapped up from her work, hurling her straight back into reality. Roused from the darkest corners of the killer's mind, Jane did herself a favor by tossing the prints back onto the table, resting her elbows on her knees and running her hands through her hair. Her fingers stroked the images of the dead and the film of grime that had settled over her thoughts, and only then was Jane able to safely look at the object of his obsession. It seemed tonight, Maura had taken a liking to channeling Bass Isles through her complete lack of movement. Maura's head remained against her fist, her position clearly unchanged since their last conversation. "I.. I'm not allowed, you know that." Well, she technically was now, technically being the word. She hated to admit it, but Korsak was likely letting her on as much as he was just to appease her, as there wasn't much she could do from a hotel room that she refused to leave Maura in without her.
"Past experiences indicate a specific stubborn pattern. Simply being 'off the case' has never stopped you before." Jane searched for scientist behind her words, at least that would 'indicate' that Maura was slowly reverting back to the Maura she was used to. Instead, the edge to her voice she found didn't seem forgiving, and neither did the blank look, a look free from all emotion.
The sudden interrogation left Jane uneasy. She sat up, a position she took on the defense. "I am working this case. Kind of- I'm here with you.. And I have the crime scene photos!" Jane gestured to the wide array of, up to this point, fairly useless photos, the white backs mocking her.
Did Maura resent her for not finding this guy, was that what she was trying to say? The agitation embedded itself underneath her skin. What Jane was doing by staying with Maura was pretty damn important, at least it felt that way to her, even if it was inadequate when it came to solving the case. "The most important part of this case for me, is making sure that this.. This murderer, doesn't get within twenty feet of you. Okay? That's my job." Jane failed at hiding her agitation, of course, snapping at a woman who didn't need it.
Maura hardened, her eyes narrowing. "You accepted the grunt work quite easily," Maura accused.
"This isn't grunt work, Maura!" Jane grew frustrated, running a hand through her dark locks again just to ebb it off before she sent the photos flying through the air. How could she say this in a way that would make Maura understand, in a way that would make Jane understand herself? "In this room, right now. This is where I need to be." Because if I'm out there, I'm not near you, and that is not acceptable.
Maura blinked in regard, the first Maura-like thing she'd done since arriving to the hotel. She considered Jane for a moment, before Jane felt the wall between the beginning to crumble. Maura lifted her head, shifting her shoulder's to angle herself in a way of openly facing Jane. "I'm sorry Jane. I just.. I know how you love being out there, and getting involved.. I was afraid I was being a burden. I didn't want you to feel as if you had to choose."
It was Jane's turn to blink, this time, in surprise. Choose. It was the root of all evil to her past relationships. The reason as to why she didn't get involved. Not with the FBI Agent, not with Grant. Jane hadn't wanted to break their hearts, she hadn't wanted to choose her job, over the man in her life.
Yet, how easily she had made the choice, here. The choice wasn't work- It was Maura.
No.
In one swift motion, Jane kicked her legs out from underneath of her and sprang from the couch. She had to do something, anything that didn't involve thinking on that couch. But as her long taut legs carried her into the kitchen, it was all she could do. In such a small space, you couldn't run from your thoughts. She only hoped that Maura wouldn't follow her into them.
It was time for her to accept that case after case, they put more effort into keeping each other safe than catching a killer. That the safety of one another was a large motivator in past cases when it came to catching a killer. Hoyt... the case involving Doyle.. All of it. Jane wasn't sure when the cases had begun growing more personal and more personal, only that when it came time to track the killer down, her chest inflamed not with the anger caused by a man who had the balls to take something that didn't belong to him, but anger driven by desperation to catch a man who had the balls to tread so closely to what mattered to her. Now, it was time to accept the fact that she was powerless to intervene in this case. No matter what, the killer was treading closer and closer, and she couldn't stop it. She could only be here when he arrived, gun raised, bullets flying. 'I won't accept that.'
"Jane, I said I was sorry." The words were tired and upon her more quickly than the sound of Maura's bare feet padding across the tile of the kitchen. 'I have no choice but to accept that.' She would, because there was still no way she would leave Maura to just get picked off. Jane gritted her teeth in frustration, her arms supporting her weight on the counter top. She leaned in, finding nothing of particular interest in the sink, other than the fact that it kept her from turning around. I chose. Jane's back involuntarily twitched at the feel of Maura growing closer behind her, until the whisper of feet stopped. As quickly as they had come they retracted across the tile, and Jane exhaled in a 'whoosh' of air she hadn't realized she'd been holding.
I chose Maura. No one had ever been that important.
It was almost too much to bare alone. When Jane exited the kitchen in favor of the living room, the statue of Maura had settled on the couch. Jane leaned herself against the support of the doorway, staring in at her sandy-haired friend. The sandy-haired friend that she had placed on a pedestal, higher up than anyone else in her life. Her family, her friends, everyone. The still form had reverted back to it's previous state, eyes fixed blankly on Boston. Jane had shut her out, and in doing so, wiped what progress they had made clear from the slate. Fuck, Jane could be such an ass sometimes.
The quiet was, perhaps, louder to Jane than any words Maura could have spoken. It settled between them, an unfamiliar barricade Jane was adamant to overcome. There had been times when she had seen Maura behave this way, but it was always from a distance. In large social gatherings when she idly sipped a glass of wine, staring off out a bay window, or her general avoidance of large social gatherings in general. It was part of Maura, but not a part that she often brought around Jane, if ever. It was the one part of Maura, while essential to the woman she had become now, it was the one part that frightened Jane the most.
Jane gingerly stepped a path to the seat on the couch that she'd been occupying earlier, knowing this was now her fault, and knowing she had to fix it. "Maura?"
Ever so slightly, the sandy head arched. As if to address that she heard her, meanwhile as if to pretend Jane wasn't in the room, sitting next to her on the couch. Jane hadn't seen this before, but recognized the reclusive hermit wishing to crawl into her shell and block off the world. Maura's parents must have seen this a lot, but Jane wasn't about to become them. Jane wouldn't let go as easily as they had.
She thought of what Maura wasn't able to do with them, the one thing, and vocalized it. "Ask me."
Hazel eyes remained glued to the floor, but her head swiveled toward Jane suddenly, stopping just as abruptly so that her face wasn't turned toward her completely. Jane saw her words twirling around in her head as she regarded them, features stony and distant. "Ask you what?" Maura's voice was cracked, broken, defeated, lifeless. Had Jane's eyes not been glued to the woman she wouldn't have... She didn't recognize it. It broke her heart on the spot, forced Jane to scoot herself and take root in the place on the couch that had previously been the gap between them.
Chocolate eyes honed in imploringly, broadcasting emotions in the dark orbs that she didn't otherwise know how to express. She pretended not to notice the fact that the lack of distance between them caused Maura's spine to erect, her body rigid as if one touch would break her. Jane pretended not to notice, and grabbed Maura's hands, otherwise clenched in her lap. "You didn't know how to ask them, but you know how to ask me. Ask me. Ask me to fix it.. To- Uh- To ask me to make it all better." Jane squeezed the hands in her grasp, the cool of Maura's a stark contrast to the heat of her own.
A chink in the armor. One snag and the tightly woven sweater unraveled. Without warning, the weight of Maura's body crumpled against her, her spine no longer supporting her as it had. That was okay, Jane was strong enough to support them both, some would even argue that she had enough backbone to lend an army of people. Maura's head settled against her shoulder, hot tears already beginning to rain down upon Jane's shirt as Jane looped her arm around Maura's back, her other protectively encasing her friend within her arms.
Sobs shook in the form of tremors and it was all Jane could do to keep her own bottom lip from trembling at the rawness of it all, coupled with her recent self-discovery. Everything Maura had been going through in the past days flowed out. Every insecurity, every fear, every ounce of guilt seeped out in the form of tears and throat-wrenching cries of pain and hurt. Jane alternated rocking the heaving mass in her arms between stroking her fingers through the light locks of hair, muttering words that didn't really help other than to assure Maura that she was still there with her. There was redemption in her cries, while Jane internalized everything or expelled it through anger, Maura needed this, and needed someone to tell her that it was going to be okay. And that is exactly what Jane did. It was minutes, maybe hours or possibly days before the tears ebbed, and Maura stilled, the only sound emitting from the brilliant woman in her arms being the occasional sniffle. Jane expected her to pull away immediately, but was surprised to feel her relax into Jane's embrace after the sobs ceased.
Jane allowed herself a moment to bask in the quiet feel of Maura's head secure against her chest, before realizing that some sort of assurance from herself needed to be vocalized. "Feel free to use my shirt as a tissue if you need it." Jane was surprised her funny bone was working after everything, her tone finding it's usual playful jibe with ease as the thumb stoking her hair moved down to wipe the tear stains off of the porcelain face.
A small chuckle, likely more out of surprise at the way in which Jane was able to make all of this sound semi-normal, rocked against her shoulder. "Don't be silly Jane, that would be very unsanitary." Aided by a semi-normal response, Jane approved.
Jane looked down to see the hazel eyes trained up on her, before they disappeared when Maura buried her head against her neck. Her Maura was back, she could tell simply by the lightness in her tone. Maura had cried the demons away, but they still chased Jane. She had to pretend the feel of Maura so close to her neck didn't send shockwaves through her body, but that all went to hell when the air from Maura's exhales danced teasingly across her neck. Jane.. Friend.. Upset.. Stop it stop it. Unfortunately, inner thoughts didn't stop a wave of goosebumps from pebbling her skin. Nice Jane, real nice.
"I need you to allow me to help you find this serial killer, Jane." Well, at least Maura seemed unaware of what Jane was going though, but it wasn't the question Jane was expecting, nor wanting.
Jane's head snapped down to initiate a standoff between stubborn gazes, but Maura's head was still turned into Jane's neck. "Maura, no. This.. this guy is clearly out for you. What if he decides you're next?" Jane reasoned hotly. There was very little Jane would risk, even if that meant never reviewing a single page of the case file, or following a single lead.
Maura spoke into her, words dancing across the base of her neck. "See it from my perspective, Jane. This 'guy', as you will, is hurting the people around me. You would do the same." Finally, Maura's head lifted from her neck, in a tug of war for control with Jane. Jane would, but it totally wasn't the point. She was armed. Very armed. And very dangerous.
But the logic was spinning inside of Maura's head. Slowly, Jane could feel Maura peel herself from her chest, her arms reluctant to conform but she forced them to drop to her side anyway. Maura straightened but didn't scoot away, giving Jane a better view of how puffy Maura's eyes remained after the tears had stopped. "Killing me would break his pattern, his goal... And.. Jane, you're more at risk than I. I would never forgive myself if I asked you to hunt him down, and it ended up the other way around. The only way in which I can assure that this won't happen, is if we work together. Even you must admit that we make a great team."
They did. They always had, and now Jane was past the point of remembering a case that she solved lately that didn't involve Maura's assistance. Jane wasn't crazy about the idea of Maura involving herself into a case that centered around her already, but if it got herself onto the field.. Maybe she would consider it. . Jane didn't like it, but she was finding it harder and harder to argue. "...We do make a great team, don't we?" And, Jane wouldn't have to hole herself up when there was a case to sink her teeth into, now aided by Maura. Jane's memories danced back to an earlier time, when things were a bit more simple and less confusing. When her life was clear cut, and everything remained within the boundaries. In doing so, Jane realized that if given the option, she wouldn't go back. The uncertainty of what choice she had really made was killing her slowly, but she would never go back.
"Yes. It's unfortunate that our jobs don't enable us to become work partners." Maura frowned, as if the Maura Isles, donned in spiked heels and the latest designer jacket, was considering a day in the life of a homicide detective.
"Maura. You.. On the field. Hunting down killers.. With a gun." Jane laughed, unable to stop despite the way Maura's shoulders slumped forward, coupled with the distraught look that formed on her face. No matter how great Maura looked when she had taught her how to shoot a gun, the thought of Maura actually chasing someone with one in her Jimmy Choo's was positively comical. So comical, in fact, that Jane snaked her hand around her back and grabbed the accent pillow stuffed there, pressing it firmly against her mouth to stop herself from laughing at Maura.
A horrified look struck Maura's features, leading Jane to firmly believe that she imagined the heel of her designer shoes snapping. "Well of course not, Jane. I would just use my expertise to help track the killer. You would be the one with the gun. You did say how you would prefer to 'be the man' in a partnership.." Oh, well, made sense- Wait, the man?
Now they were joking about it? Again, Jane found the boundaries that separated their friendship from something more, blur. The boundaries had always been something played with, something constantly blurred, even when Jane considered them as just friends. What was new, was that Jane was actually recognizing when the edges became fuzzy, when before, she had been oblivious."Oh shut up! That was so five cases ago." Jane exclaimed, smacking the accent pillow into Maura's side. For now, it was a joke, but it treaded dangerously close to hope.
"Says the woman who was more submissive with a female bartender than she was with a male nurse." Maura braced for the second inevitable smack of the pillow, and was awarded with one, snorting with laughter.
Even Jane laughed, defensive with disbelief, but happily surprised at what a good cry had done for Maura. "Hey! I was working a case. That was evidence collection, my friend." Jane dotted her words with her finger, pointing to the spot on her neck where Maura had swabbed.
Maura paused, a look of consideration passing over mischievously playful eyes. "I'd like to work the case."
Jane felt a flutter in her chest as her heart skipped a beat, long eyelashes blinking in surprise. Maura's face remained flawless, deceptively cool with her lips contorted into something that fell between a smirk and a smile, and Jane had to wonder- Was she flirting with her?
Maura's comment went far beyond where either of them had dared to go before. Jane shifted her body, leaning her side against the back of the couch, as she weighed her options. Common sense told her to put a stop to this, now, before they set events into motion that they couldn't take back. But Jane was suddenly feeling.. Adventurous, curious to see if she was the only one that thought they were beginning to outgrow their own games. "You wanna work the case?" Her voice came out more lowly than she intended, an octave only just above a husk. What was she doing? Jane desperately needed a reaction, something to gauge. She needed to know that she wasn't crazy, but most importantly, she needed to know that she wasn't alone.
A tell-tale hitch of breath, the sudden stillness claiming Maura's body as her eyes seemed to implore Jane; Testing the waters, checking to see if they were on the same level. It was the reaction Jane needed. As not to shatter the moment with sound, Maura nodded her head once in confirmation, truly ready to test Jane's next move, testing the whatever hypothesis she had arrived on. Jane was aware that the ball was in her court now, but whether or not this was just another one of their games would no longer be a matter of opinion if she decided to shoot. Good or bad, she would get the answer to the question that had haunted her all night- What was Maura to her, really?
A fraction of a centimeter. The olive skin tilted a fraction of a centimeter, dark flowing locks veiled a fraction of a centimeter more of her skin, her neck arching a fraction of a centimeter closer to the truth. Nerves burned her stomach, threatening to turn Jane into a quivering mess, leaving her face brushed with a flush of red. What was she doing? Maura was her best friend, and yet, she was a fraction of an inch closer to changing that forever... Jane had the potential to mess everything up, everything that meant the most to her- Was she ready, willing, to take that kind of leap?
Maura remained impassively cool, but Jane noticed her chin raise. If Jane brought her face closer, the move now gave her the perfect angle to make her move. Their eyes were locked on each other, aware that if they look away, the moment would come crashing down around them. It was now, or never..
A shrieking tone shattered the perfect silence where the only sound had been the sound of their nervously short breaths. Jane jerked back, flushing a hue of crimson, blinking herself out of the hazel hypnosis.
"It's your Mother." Maura's gazed fixed on Jane's pocket in a mixture of surprise and disbelief. Her eyes returned from their saucer-like appearance at the initial sound, but the pink flush that beautifully captured her normally peachy complexion remained.
A string of curses sprang to Jane's mind, all of which too dirty to place next to what almost had happened. A deeper blush of red heated her face, as Jane raked her fingers into her pocket, only mustering a mumble of apologies as she dug out the oppressive object.
"Rizzoli!" Jane answered automatically, momentarily forgetting among the embarrassment that her mother was on the other end.
"Janie, what happened? Do you not tell your mother anything anymore? Why do I have to hear from Frankie that your apartment has been roped off..." The string of a million questions continued, and the rest Jane tuned out. Jane worked the back of her neck with the hand that wasn't holding the phone, disbelief of what her mother just interrupted causing Jane's eyes to flicker back and forth from the floor over to Maura. Maura's lips pressed together, shooting a look of understanding at Jane before she stood up from the couch. Jane should have been listening to her mother, but her attention stuck with Maura as she watched her stretch, and watched her retreating figure as it ventured through the doorway of the kitchen.
"Did you hear me! I want answers. You ran off so quickly today after ruining Frankie's adorable attempts to.."
"-Sorry Ma, but right now is not a good time."
"It never is a good time with you Jane, you're always working, you're always.."
"-Alright, Ma, I'm sorry! I'm fine, Maura is fine. We have a hotel room. No need to worry. We're working on the case, I'm sorry about dinner, but I'll call you back sometime later." Jane figured that covered all of the questions she had or had not been listening to over the course of the phone call.
"Janie, just promise your mother that you'll be careful, and that you'll keep our Maura safe."
Our Maura. This, Jane could promise.
Maura came back as soon as Jane ended the phone call, navigating into the room with two mugs in her hand. She balanced the mugs as she folded herself into the couch, curling her legs as she extended one of them out to her. It didn't appear to be beer, and Maura would never drink wine out of a mug. "What's this?" Jane questioned as she took it, the heat through the porcelain a welcomed comfort though the discolored liquid offered no clue.
"Chamomile." Jane wasn't a big tea drinker and it wasn't beer, but she was glad to have it regardless. "Thanks." The heat from the tea tickled her face as she took a sip, the warmth trailing down her tongue and throat. The awkwardness hadn't had a chance to settle like Jane thought it would. Maybe it was the chamomile that steamed out the expected tension, but the two women sat at their respective sides of the couch, content as they regarded each other, and regarded what almost had happened. The moment was over, and Jane couldn't possibly finish her actions now, but neither of them could pretend that it almost didn't happen. Yet, the moment couldn't be would just have to wait, wait for the opportunity to explore their options when it could be.
Though highly unwelcome as she sipped her tea and enjoyed the silence, Jane was more prepared when her second call came. This time, from Frost. The comfort of the evening was threatened, but this was also something Jane had grown used to during the course of her work life.
"Rizzoli." Jane mechanically answered the phone as she untucked her feet and placed them on the ground, propping herself up with her elbow on her knee.
"I don't know if you've had a chance to look at the crime scene photos, but the Medical Examiner retrieved the pics of Isles from our third vic. Want me to send the copies over?"
"Uh, It'd be great if you could." Jane shuffled the photos on the table, idly flipping over their faces in mock productiveness. "Anything new?"
"Nah, pretty much the same old thing. Maura at crime scenes, Maura getting into her car. Man, this guy turns up at just as many crime scenes as we do."
Man, this guy turns up at just as many crime scenes as we do. Her partner's words echoed on loop through Jane's head as she froze, her jaw dropped to form a perfect 'O'. When she blinked, she was snapped out of it, her fingers furiously shuffling the pictures in front of her.
"Frost, I'll call you back in a second." Jane said hurriedly, clicking the phone off. The pictures had pinged with her before.. And just maybe..
She flipped through the one glossy face to the next, Maura at the van, Maura at a crime scene, until she landed on the photograph taken during the mock Boston strangler case. This wasn't the first time Jane saw the prints, a memory of a previous case, but it was more than just something from a memory. Jane had seen this particular picture once before.
"Jane, what is it? What's wrong." Jane hadn't realized Maura had moved until she felt a hand gingerly touch the side of her arm. Jane looked up into the concerned expression, flipping the image so Maura could see it.
"Oh my God, I think I know where I remember this from. Maura... I think I know who our killer is."
Author: iDreamofLovex
Paring: Eventual Jane/Maura
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These Characters belong to Tess Gerritsen and TNT.
Summary:I chose Maura. No one had ever been that important.
A/N: Wow, like an ass, I forgot to post this to the community. My Chapters immediately go up on FanFiction .. And for some reason, I just totally forgot to post it here for you lovely people. D:
Anyway, I have Three and Four, which I will split into two posts!
Feel free to yell at me over twitter: @iDreamofLovex
It has been awhile since I last posted here, so here are Chapters One and Two!:
Chapter One The Call
Chapter Two The Scene
Chapter Three: The Truth
"You love me, Jane. Just as I love you."
The look of understanding, the confident stride straight through the doors of the police department. It all left Jane feeling more uncertain than ever. Jane was used to unfamiliarity. She owned unfamiliar territory when she crashed in, gun drawn and in hot pursuit of her latest perp. But Maura's comment unlocked a door to a room within her that she hadn't known existed, and now she was being forced inside without a map. Love. Friends all around her claimed to love each other. It was normal, it wasn't exactly Jane's style, but it was normal. Jane loved Maura whether or not she said it out loud, because Maura was her best friend. It just came with the territory. But, had Maura even been referring to a different kind of love, a love other than friendship? Jane didn't know if she was reading into the situation too much, and that's what bothered her the most- It was the fact that her mind and her heart automatically went to the other kind of love, the love you certainly didn't share with your friends (unless, of course, you were into that kind of thing). Fuck. Jane swept her hand across her forehead in agitation, her fingers raking a path across her scalp.
The breeze picked up her hair, a flowing subtle reminder of the fact that Jane was going to have to stride through the doors eventually. It was highly doubtful that the answer to her questions would materialize in the cement of the sidewalk next to her apparently illegally parked car, and the answers wouldn't have to materialize ever if she just slammed the open door closed and locked it tightly. Done. Yet the shards of the old Jane still remained, slicing at her. When Jane was finally able to gather the shattered pieces of what she had known about her personal life, when she had switched that focus with a tunnel-vision view of her work life, Jane was finally able to ascend the steps of the precinct. Gliding through the door, her jaw square and her head held high, she experienced the first fissures in her perfect facade cracking. Maura had stopped in the threshold, the woman who had been so sure about everything moments before on the steps when she had knocked Jane's world on a tilt, revealing now how unable she was to move on without Jane; move on to witness the aftermath of a crime committed for her, to her, about her. Maura was vulnerable in the worst way, and despite the fact that Jane wanted to run from what Maura had released within her, the need to protect the woman overpowered all aspects of what was work, and what was personal. So she had clasped her hand around Maura's elbow, and gently lead her into the beginning of a different kind of revelation.
"Jane, Dr. Isles." Korsak's smile was kind but hesitant when they joined the uniformed masses. Jane never saw smiles, but she did see the red rimmed eyes and the dark shadows beneath them- Leading Jane to believe that she and Maura had gotten more rest since the case began than he had. Jane, had other things to worry about, like leaving her emotions at the door. Ever since the night of the call, Jane had been clouded. It was no wonder why homicide didn't want her working this particular case. While a fiery passion to capture this man and make him pay shoveled adrenaline into her system, Jane realized that this entire time she had felt thankful. Thankful that it hadn't been Maura lying on the front step when she arrived to the house painted with red and blue lights. How could she expect to get anything accomplished when she was thinking like such... Like such a girl, and not as a homicide detective?
The Boston Police Department made this easier on her. They walked straight into a flurry of motion, the entire squad of homicide detectives littering the room as they shuffled papers and balanced mugs of coffee. Most nodded to her, others grumbled past her as if the case was somehow her fault. To hell with them. Jane glanced over to a wall of computers, Frost's focus clearly and irrevocably intent on the screen, likely hacking some system or another. It was so normal, that Jane regained the 'homicide hop' to her step, feeling the part of her missing since the night of her, return. "Korsak, tell me. What the hell is going on now?" Like a satellite, Maura stayed glued to her side as Jane approached Korsak's desk, where he stood hunched over files and papers and photographs.
Korsak's hesitation was even more evident now. He avoided both of their gazes and shuffled his weight between his legs, inwardly considering the best plan of attack. . "Maura... Err.. You may want to sit down," Jane had never seen her former partner's eyes so soft, not even when the man was looking up cute fuzzy animals on youtube. Shit, this is obviously worse than what was anticipated.. Jane watched as he swept glossy prints from the desk top in front of his chair neatly into his hands, her eyes remaining fixed precisely on the blank backs. Crime scene photos. Jane's eyes itched for them.
There was a shift to Jane's side as Maura's head nodded, but she made no attempt to move. "What ever you wish to tell me, I am prepared to hear." Jane detached herself from the interest of the unrevealed photographs, looking from Korsak's concerned expression, to Maura's feigned look of confidence, dappled by glints of uncertainty hidden within hazel eyes. Her tone was strong, but her mannerisms revealed a different story. There was little keeping Jane from throwing her arms around the woman, and even less keeping her from shutting her out completely after whatever was said outside of the department. Jane settled for the middle ground, again guiding Maura around the desk by the elbow. To her surprise there was no objection when Jane drew back the chair in a loud screech that lost itself among the phone rings and the activity of the department. "Maur please, lets just take a seat, and try to work through this information." Maura sank easily into the chair when Jane gently pressed a hand upon her shoulder, noticing how tense the muscles were beneath the expensive fabric of her shirt.
"Dr. Isles, I really don't know how to approach this one. The guy we're looking for is a sneaky bastard," Korsak shuffled the images in his hands, Jane's hungry eyes watching as he chose one from the stack, and gingerly placed it on the desk before Maura. From behind Maura's seat, Jane leaned over her shoulder as he pushed the image underneath Maura's eyes with his fingertips. Before Jane could even see who it was, likely before Maura could even finish processing it, Korsak was pushing another image of death underneath Maura's nose.
The images were similar. A Y-Incision patterned the chest of the victims, gruesome stitches seeming to hold together what was left. Again, both scenes were clearly dump scenes, absent of blood. Bushy dark locks seemed to be positioned outside what looked like her doorway, the other, in the place Maura saw every day of her working life. Bushy hair.. She had seen it before.. Where had she seen it before? "Wait.. That's the yoga instructor!" Jane exclaimed, her voice trailing off as she connected the pieces. They had gone on a double date with him, arguably the worst double date in the existence of dates due to the aftermath of excessive phone calls and emails.. The other she didn't recognize, but the pieces were there, and it was likely Maura's date of the month. He's targeting Maura's past lovers. At Jane's first instinct, her hands gripped Maura's shoulder, squeezing the form that hadn't shifted in the slightest since the images were laid down. Like a statue, she remained still beneath your hands, her friend's silence weighing heavily on Jane's ears. "Oh, oh honey this is not your fault. Okay?"
Even though Jane was standing right beside her, hand running the length of her shoulders down to Maura's arm in a comforting gesture, Maura didn't seem to hear her. "Brock. This.. This one is Robert Burns, a man I dated around the time of last month. We- " Maura paused, her voice faltering before she swallowed, and picked up as if the lull hadn't happened, "We hadn't been dating long before I broke it off."
Jane grimaced. The body count seemed to be ticking heavy on Maura's shoulders, so heavily that Jane couldn't rub it away. She stilled her hands but the touch remained, just incase the Maura could feel through the layer of ice Jane sensed. "What an animal. I'm on this-" Jane spat out in vengeance, only to be cut off as if she hadn't opened her mouth.
"He's demonstrating through the manner in which he kills that he understands my relation with the dead. Not only do I examine them and learn every detail through their body structure and cause of death, but I learn to understand them. These are offerings, to me, for me, because I've been named 'The Queen of the Dead'." Maura spoke as if there wasn't an audience to hear her, Jane would have missed the statement over the excitement of the office if she hadn't been honed in on Maura.
Oh God. Jane reached over Maura's shoulder to swipe the two crime scene photos off of the surface, hastily attempting to salvage every part of Maura that was still left. Her head remained shifted toward the desk as if the images were burned there, but Jane pushed the photos into Korsak's chest without even a glance his direction. "That's enough for right now!" the words tumbled accusingly out of her mouth, though the blame was far from her former partner's. Jane would work on not completely torching all bridges that were attempting to connect her back to the case, later, having more pressing manners to attend to.
Jane squatted on her heels to gain decent eye level, but when she forcibly swiveled the desk chair around so that Maura was facing her, Jane was looking up at her. It was a tactic she used when dealing with children and teenagers when trying to establish that they had some sort of control or power, but found use of it now after control had been ripped so greedily from the forensic pathologist's fingertips. All perk seemed to have deflated from the once upbeat Maura, and while Jane certainly couldn't expect her to be even half-way normal after seeing her former relationships sprawled heinously across dump sites connected in some way to her, the fact that Maura wasn't even able to mimic some form of compartmentalizing concerned her. The Maura Jane knew was strong and fearless, but this Maura.. This Maura was beaten down. She sat frozen, glassily staring at her skirt, but the proximity to Jane's eyes left her no choice, as a hesitant gaze flickered and met chocolate brown eyes. Scrunched in Maura's lap were her hands, which Jane couldn't help but clutch possessively. Clearly, all thoughts of what happened outside of the department were gone, Jane's insecurities momentarily banished.
"You don't have to do this. I'll gather up these snapshots, we'll go-" Go where? Her apartment was off-limits. Maura's was out of the question. Shit. Jane hesitated, her head whipping up to look around the department, as if the answer would materialize there. No? Fine. "-somewhere.. And, uh, I'll take care of these myself," the recovery wasn't exactly a success, but she worked with what she had.
Sandy locks shook back and forth, not in disagreement, but just.. Shaking. "It is all of my fault. All of these... people." Maura rattled this off as if stating a fact, the latest statistic pulled from her genius head.
The fuse lit. Jane exploded before she could stop herself, "Hell no it's not! Maura, this is the fault of some lunatic psychotic serial killer who has some sort of a sick fixation on you and what appears to be your job. I don't recall you ever killing any of the victims on your table, so don't even start making comparisons, either." Maura would know that her anger wasn't directed at her, but even Jane thought when the words sprang from her lips, that they sounded too harsh, maybe stung a bit too hard for a woman so fragile. It was insane to think that someone so bright would have anything to feel self-conscious about, but cases in the past made Jane believe that the woman before her was trying to correlate herself in some way with the killer. She saw it happen with Hoyt when Maura wasn't even remotely like the monster, and Jane wouldn't risk her getting the same idea.
She thanked her lucky stars when Maura nodded, blinking yet seeming to register what Jane was trying to say. Just like Maura understood where Jane was coming from, Jane understood that they weren't going to get anything else out of Maura, at least for now. Jane squeezed her cool hands reassuringly before standing up, the control over the situation redirected onto the homicide detective.
The olive skin of her face scrunched into a sheepish look, saying 'look, I'm sorry for snapping, but cut me some slack here', all without saying a word. It was lucky for her that Korsak was forgiving, and that they had a history of saying things without really saying anything. He passed the stack of prints into her hands and she grimly smiled in some sort of resemblance of thanks. "The department is footing the bill on a hotel room for tonight. When I say department, I mean Dr. Isles' friends down in the medical department chipped in for it when they heard. Suite too, really nice," Korsak's eyes glittered, Jane could only guess that he was picturing staying in it himself. "Err.. Anyway, we've got detail inside and outside of the hotel. It's possible he might turn it into another dump site, but if not, at least you've got some back up in case anything else goes down."
Jane blinked. A suite, for the two of them? Either Maura's friends were really nice, they were kissing her ass for whatever reason, or it was possible they'd be there awhile. Jane didn't care which one it was, as long as it wasn't Hotel de la Rizzoli. In that case, she wouldn't have to swallow her pride and apologize for storming out, only to succumb to begging for a place to stay for the night- Now that would be embarrassing.
All thoughts of working, all hopes that Jane would resume her position as Detective Rizzoli, Jane kissed goodbye. To actually feel resentful about it would mean that she was resentful about having more time to spend making sure Maura was safe both mentally and physically, so Jane let the fact that she was being less productive than normal slide right off of her shoulders... as much as she could. "Send my thanks to Maur's coworkers." Maura took that as a signal to stand, quickly pushing the chair into the desk.
It was only then, that it hit her. Jane was about to spend the night with Maura. In a hotel, for the most part, alone. After Maura purposely or inadvertently made Jane question her.. Feelings. Her doubts bubbled to the surface, the homicide department no longer keeping it at bay. Not only was this a bad combination, but for once, Jane couldn't run from it. She would have to counter it head-first, because if she didn't, she ran the risk of the Queen of the Dead freezing over completely.
Jane Rizzoli was not gay. Some would maybe argue that the way she preferred playing with the boys, cold beers, and her general behavior was a little.. Butch.. Err- 'Sporty' . But Jane Rizzoli? Not gay.
If she was gay, which she totally wasn't, it at least make for an interesting coming out story. Either Jane would kill herself after listening to the incessant crying of her mother about never getting any grand kids, or her mother would do that for her after realizing how much time and hope she wasted over the years of setting Jane up on dates. Her father probably wouldn't look her in the eye again, ever, and Frankie Jr. would chuckle as if he predicted it or something.
Aside from that, Jane liked men.. Some men, rather. Tough men that enjoyed beer and baseball, not wimpy men who submitted to her every whim. So for her, that settled things- Jane was irrevocably straight. Not gay. Not gay. Not lesbian? Not gay. The mantra repeated throughout the entirety of the drive over to the hotel, a nice high rise that sat on the outskirts of Boston looming into view, overlooking the skyline as it glittered in the night. Rizzoli drove the car in silence. She should have been pressing Maura to speak, who hadn't since the reveal of the victims, but her own thoughts kept her occupied to the point where even the inner dialogue was a little too loud. But she had to keep reaffirming how not gay she was, in case she ran the risk of forgetting later on. Jane had forgotten once, and in its wake she was left wordlessly repeating the stupid mantra. It would not happen again. Maura was her friend, and whatever feelings that were trying to conflict with that were the result of the stress brought on by thinking she had almost lost her. For the one time Jane actually used logic to come to a conclusion instead of her inherent passion, and she couldn't even share the accomplishment with Maura.
Only when the car rolled to a stop did Jane detect movement in her peripheral vision, when Maura finally tore herself from staring mute out of the passenger side window. Jane stole a precautionary glance over to the passenger seat before fixing her sight on the windshield in quick succession. Her heart somersaulted in her chest simply by looking at the skin, paler than usual, and the bloodshot eyes that fought back tears. Visibly, Jane winced. Not just at how hard piecing Maura back together was going to be, but at how hard it was going to be for Jane to get so close to the woman that had recently been leaving her mind swimming in doubt.
The case was screwed from the start. She couldn't help but feel if her body double hadn't shown up dead on Maura's front step, that Maura wouldn't be taking this as hard as she was. Wordlessly, Jane threw the car into park, and scoured the trunk for what little things they were able to bring. Back at her apartment, Jane had dumped a drawer full of whatever it contained into a bag along with a few toiletries, and Maura's bag had been packed from her expected stay at Jane's. Both of the straps Jane slung over her shoulder, before collecting a dull Maura and retreating into their hotel hideaway. Add Joe Friday to a list of animals Frankie was going to have to check on for awhile, and she was set.. If she could find the gall call him.
Maura's friends had really pulled through, and the department had checked them in before their arrival. The hotel staff slipped them the card keys and waved them over to an elevator, Jane's only focus placed into getting them up to the room in one piece. Silence surrounded them through their ascent up the elevator shaft, and followed them into the hotel room after Jane slid the card key into the slot.
She opened the door into what would be the best hotel room Jane had ever stayed in. The Rizzoli bank account could never afford the sweeping views of Boston, a glittering diamond through the wall to wall windows. Jane, normally oblivious to trivial things such as etiquette, almost thought to kick off her shoes before stepping through the threshold and onto the cream colored carpeting.. Almost. It looked more like a fancy apartment, stepping into the living area. A deep red couch faced the views, adorned with matching pillows beaded with fine detail. Jane's eyes swept the room in disbelief, noting double doors that likely led to the bedroom on one side, and on the opposite wall, a doorway that led into an actual, legitimate kitchen decked out in swirling gray marble counter tops and gleaming stainless steel.
"Wow. Wow. You have some really nice friends." Everything was white and pristine, save for the red accents, and Jane hadn't seen anything like it before.
Jane heard the door click closed behind her. "They just feel sorry for me." Maura's indifference was almost lost on Jane, until she remembered that she was used to luxury. Maura passed where Jane rooted herself in awe, traveling in an arc around the back of the couch before lightly perching on a cushion.
"I wish people would feel sorry for me more often.." Jane snorted, speaking to Maura's back. Jane stepped forward, the bags bumping against her thigh, the straps painfully beginning to bite at her neck. She found her legs in working order again, so she made a beeline toward the double doors, and drew them open into an equally spectacular room, yet it's elegance wasn't what had surprised her. The single king size bed did that all on its own.
Jane hesitated before dropping the bags near a chest of drawers, staring at the bed, sizing it up in her head. It would appear that she and Maura were meant to share, which would normally be fine. They had a hundred times before, even had last heart pumped guilty beats in her chest, and before she could question anything again, Jane delved into her bag to retrieve the copies of the crime scene photographs. Swallowing deeply, when Jane backed out of the room, she made sure the doors were shut tightly behind her.
She treaded lightly back into the living space, where Maura hadn't budged an inch on the couch. She placed the images face down on the coffee table on the opposite side in front of where she would sit, and sighed, knowing there was something else she had to do before she could even think enough to focus on them. If Jane didn't just ask, she ran the risk of the whole thing with Maura ruining her focus on what really mattered, catching the killer. Jane wrung out her fingers, pacing in front of the couch before stopping off to the side of where Maura sat. "Maura, outside of the department.. What did you mean?" Damn it, Rizzoli. She had so much else to worry about, they both did.
Maura looked up at her, her face revealing nothing but indifference as the slender shoulders hefted. "What are you saying, Jane, that you didn't understand?" Maura slumped against the back of the couch, as if the thought of explaining anything could actually tire her out.
Maybe it had been a bad idea to ask. The least of Maura's concerns should be about what Jane thought, and she knew that. But since it was all out there, out in the open, Jane pressed on, ignoring the fact that Maura's comment rubbed her the wrong way. "Well, yeah. Kind of." Jane stepped within the narrow spot between the coffee table and the couch, and plopped down on the closest middle cushion. Maura propped her head up by her fist on the arm of the couch to accommodate for the transition, and Jane felt naked as the hazel eyes flickered over her face, considering her, judging her. The seconds ticked on so slowly, that Jane thought Maura may have forgotten what they were talking about. "You're my friend, Jane, of course I love you." Her tone was mechanical. Maura sounded bored, as if she had to explain this to a three year old for the hundredth time, but at the very least, Jane was just content with the fact that she hadn't played dumb.
What had Jane been expecting? Deep, profound confessions of love? Who was she kidding? "Oh, uh.. okay." Idiot Idiot Idiot. Jane scooted down to the farthest cushion on the couch, where the crime scene photos rested patiently on the smooth surface of the table. This entire time, she'd been playing way too much into Maura's words, and what an idiot she had been. Get a grip, Rizzoli. Jane knitted her eyebrows, pissed at herself for assuming otherwise, pissed at herself for coming to the other idiot conclusions.
Neither of them appeared to be tired, and neither of them made a motion to get ready to go to sleep. It had only been a few short hours since they had been at Jane's for dinner, which seemed out of place considering how different things were from just a few hours ago. Jane swept the photos into her hand hurriedly, careful to keep the faces tilted at an angle away from the other side of the couch. The last thing she needed was Maura going catatonic again.
The glossy prints registered a slight familiarity in the back of her mind, but as her eyes scoured the high resolution images, she couldn't place it. Indicated at the top of the pictures in slanted scrawl was the location of images, or where they had been retrieved. The first was a picture of Jane and Maura, taken from afar at one of the team's games. They were standing over something, Maura's ridiculous red and black sporting suit hugging the curves of her body. Jane may have smiled at the memory of Maura hitting a home run, but scrawled at the top: Victim One, Heart. Jane blinked her eyes closed, hard. The picture she was staring at was taken straight from her look-alike's heart. Jane tried to remain cool as she flipped through the various pictures. Victim One, Stomach. Victim Two, Chest Cavity. The only images she didn't have were from victim three, and it was likely Maura's coworkers were retrieving them as she sat there, cutting them straight out of their lifeless bodies. They would likely be similar to the ones Jane flipped through, pictures of Maura at crime scenes overlooking bodies, leaving crime scenes in the medical examiner's van... The gnocchi from dinner began revolting.
Slicing through the silence, a sharp scalpel to Jane's mind. "Why aren't you out working this case?"
Jane's head snapped up from her work, hurling her straight back into reality. Roused from the darkest corners of the killer's mind, Jane did herself a favor by tossing the prints back onto the table, resting her elbows on her knees and running her hands through her hair. Her fingers stroked the images of the dead and the film of grime that had settled over her thoughts, and only then was Jane able to safely look at the object of his obsession. It seemed tonight, Maura had taken a liking to channeling Bass Isles through her complete lack of movement. Maura's head remained against her fist, her position clearly unchanged since their last conversation. "I.. I'm not allowed, you know that." Well, she technically was now, technically being the word. She hated to admit it, but Korsak was likely letting her on as much as he was just to appease her, as there wasn't much she could do from a hotel room that she refused to leave Maura in without her.
"Past experiences indicate a specific stubborn pattern. Simply being 'off the case' has never stopped you before." Jane searched for scientist behind her words, at least that would 'indicate' that Maura was slowly reverting back to the Maura she was used to. Instead, the edge to her voice she found didn't seem forgiving, and neither did the blank look, a look free from all emotion.
The sudden interrogation left Jane uneasy. She sat up, a position she took on the defense. "I am working this case. Kind of- I'm here with you.. And I have the crime scene photos!" Jane gestured to the wide array of, up to this point, fairly useless photos, the white backs mocking her.
Did Maura resent her for not finding this guy, was that what she was trying to say? The agitation embedded itself underneath her skin. What Jane was doing by staying with Maura was pretty damn important, at least it felt that way to her, even if it was inadequate when it came to solving the case. "The most important part of this case for me, is making sure that this.. This murderer, doesn't get within twenty feet of you. Okay? That's my job." Jane failed at hiding her agitation, of course, snapping at a woman who didn't need it.
Maura hardened, her eyes narrowing. "You accepted the grunt work quite easily," Maura accused.
"This isn't grunt work, Maura!" Jane grew frustrated, running a hand through her dark locks again just to ebb it off before she sent the photos flying through the air. How could she say this in a way that would make Maura understand, in a way that would make Jane understand herself? "In this room, right now. This is where I need to be." Because if I'm out there, I'm not near you, and that is not acceptable.
Maura blinked in regard, the first Maura-like thing she'd done since arriving to the hotel. She considered Jane for a moment, before Jane felt the wall between the beginning to crumble. Maura lifted her head, shifting her shoulder's to angle herself in a way of openly facing Jane. "I'm sorry Jane. I just.. I know how you love being out there, and getting involved.. I was afraid I was being a burden. I didn't want you to feel as if you had to choose."
It was Jane's turn to blink, this time, in surprise. Choose. It was the root of all evil to her past relationships. The reason as to why she didn't get involved. Not with the FBI Agent, not with Grant. Jane hadn't wanted to break their hearts, she hadn't wanted to choose her job, over the man in her life.
Yet, how easily she had made the choice, here. The choice wasn't work- It was Maura.
No.
In one swift motion, Jane kicked her legs out from underneath of her and sprang from the couch. She had to do something, anything that didn't involve thinking on that couch. But as her long taut legs carried her into the kitchen, it was all she could do. In such a small space, you couldn't run from your thoughts. She only hoped that Maura wouldn't follow her into them.
It was time for her to accept that case after case, they put more effort into keeping each other safe than catching a killer. That the safety of one another was a large motivator in past cases when it came to catching a killer. Hoyt... the case involving Doyle.. All of it. Jane wasn't sure when the cases had begun growing more personal and more personal, only that when it came time to track the killer down, her chest inflamed not with the anger caused by a man who had the balls to take something that didn't belong to him, but anger driven by desperation to catch a man who had the balls to tread so closely to what mattered to her. Now, it was time to accept the fact that she was powerless to intervene in this case. No matter what, the killer was treading closer and closer, and she couldn't stop it. She could only be here when he arrived, gun raised, bullets flying. 'I won't accept that.'
"Jane, I said I was sorry." The words were tired and upon her more quickly than the sound of Maura's bare feet padding across the tile of the kitchen. 'I have no choice but to accept that.' She would, because there was still no way she would leave Maura to just get picked off. Jane gritted her teeth in frustration, her arms supporting her weight on the counter top. She leaned in, finding nothing of particular interest in the sink, other than the fact that it kept her from turning around. I chose. Jane's back involuntarily twitched at the feel of Maura growing closer behind her, until the whisper of feet stopped. As quickly as they had come they retracted across the tile, and Jane exhaled in a 'whoosh' of air she hadn't realized she'd been holding.
I chose Maura. No one had ever been that important.
It was almost too much to bare alone. When Jane exited the kitchen in favor of the living room, the statue of Maura had settled on the couch. Jane leaned herself against the support of the doorway, staring in at her sandy-haired friend. The sandy-haired friend that she had placed on a pedestal, higher up than anyone else in her life. Her family, her friends, everyone. The still form had reverted back to it's previous state, eyes fixed blankly on Boston. Jane had shut her out, and in doing so, wiped what progress they had made clear from the slate. Fuck, Jane could be such an ass sometimes.
The quiet was, perhaps, louder to Jane than any words Maura could have spoken. It settled between them, an unfamiliar barricade Jane was adamant to overcome. There had been times when she had seen Maura behave this way, but it was always from a distance. In large social gatherings when she idly sipped a glass of wine, staring off out a bay window, or her general avoidance of large social gatherings in general. It was part of Maura, but not a part that she often brought around Jane, if ever. It was the one part of Maura, while essential to the woman she had become now, it was the one part that frightened Jane the most.
Jane gingerly stepped a path to the seat on the couch that she'd been occupying earlier, knowing this was now her fault, and knowing she had to fix it. "Maura?"
Ever so slightly, the sandy head arched. As if to address that she heard her, meanwhile as if to pretend Jane wasn't in the room, sitting next to her on the couch. Jane hadn't seen this before, but recognized the reclusive hermit wishing to crawl into her shell and block off the world. Maura's parents must have seen this a lot, but Jane wasn't about to become them. Jane wouldn't let go as easily as they had.
She thought of what Maura wasn't able to do with them, the one thing, and vocalized it. "Ask me."
Hazel eyes remained glued to the floor, but her head swiveled toward Jane suddenly, stopping just as abruptly so that her face wasn't turned toward her completely. Jane saw her words twirling around in her head as she regarded them, features stony and distant. "Ask you what?" Maura's voice was cracked, broken, defeated, lifeless. Had Jane's eyes not been glued to the woman she wouldn't have... She didn't recognize it. It broke her heart on the spot, forced Jane to scoot herself and take root in the place on the couch that had previously been the gap between them.
Chocolate eyes honed in imploringly, broadcasting emotions in the dark orbs that she didn't otherwise know how to express. She pretended not to notice the fact that the lack of distance between them caused Maura's spine to erect, her body rigid as if one touch would break her. Jane pretended not to notice, and grabbed Maura's hands, otherwise clenched in her lap. "You didn't know how to ask them, but you know how to ask me. Ask me. Ask me to fix it.. To- Uh- To ask me to make it all better." Jane squeezed the hands in her grasp, the cool of Maura's a stark contrast to the heat of her own.
A chink in the armor. One snag and the tightly woven sweater unraveled. Without warning, the weight of Maura's body crumpled against her, her spine no longer supporting her as it had. That was okay, Jane was strong enough to support them both, some would even argue that she had enough backbone to lend an army of people. Maura's head settled against her shoulder, hot tears already beginning to rain down upon Jane's shirt as Jane looped her arm around Maura's back, her other protectively encasing her friend within her arms.
Sobs shook in the form of tremors and it was all Jane could do to keep her own bottom lip from trembling at the rawness of it all, coupled with her recent self-discovery. Everything Maura had been going through in the past days flowed out. Every insecurity, every fear, every ounce of guilt seeped out in the form of tears and throat-wrenching cries of pain and hurt. Jane alternated rocking the heaving mass in her arms between stroking her fingers through the light locks of hair, muttering words that didn't really help other than to assure Maura that she was still there with her. There was redemption in her cries, while Jane internalized everything or expelled it through anger, Maura needed this, and needed someone to tell her that it was going to be okay. And that is exactly what Jane did. It was minutes, maybe hours or possibly days before the tears ebbed, and Maura stilled, the only sound emitting from the brilliant woman in her arms being the occasional sniffle. Jane expected her to pull away immediately, but was surprised to feel her relax into Jane's embrace after the sobs ceased.
Jane allowed herself a moment to bask in the quiet feel of Maura's head secure against her chest, before realizing that some sort of assurance from herself needed to be vocalized. "Feel free to use my shirt as a tissue if you need it." Jane was surprised her funny bone was working after everything, her tone finding it's usual playful jibe with ease as the thumb stoking her hair moved down to wipe the tear stains off of the porcelain face.
A small chuckle, likely more out of surprise at the way in which Jane was able to make all of this sound semi-normal, rocked against her shoulder. "Don't be silly Jane, that would be very unsanitary." Aided by a semi-normal response, Jane approved.
Jane looked down to see the hazel eyes trained up on her, before they disappeared when Maura buried her head against her neck. Her Maura was back, she could tell simply by the lightness in her tone. Maura had cried the demons away, but they still chased Jane. She had to pretend the feel of Maura so close to her neck didn't send shockwaves through her body, but that all went to hell when the air from Maura's exhales danced teasingly across her neck. Jane.. Friend.. Upset.. Stop it stop it. Unfortunately, inner thoughts didn't stop a wave of goosebumps from pebbling her skin. Nice Jane, real nice.
"I need you to allow me to help you find this serial killer, Jane." Well, at least Maura seemed unaware of what Jane was going though, but it wasn't the question Jane was expecting, nor wanting.
Jane's head snapped down to initiate a standoff between stubborn gazes, but Maura's head was still turned into Jane's neck. "Maura, no. This.. this guy is clearly out for you. What if he decides you're next?" Jane reasoned hotly. There was very little Jane would risk, even if that meant never reviewing a single page of the case file, or following a single lead.
Maura spoke into her, words dancing across the base of her neck. "See it from my perspective, Jane. This 'guy', as you will, is hurting the people around me. You would do the same." Finally, Maura's head lifted from her neck, in a tug of war for control with Jane. Jane would, but it totally wasn't the point. She was armed. Very armed. And very dangerous.
But the logic was spinning inside of Maura's head. Slowly, Jane could feel Maura peel herself from her chest, her arms reluctant to conform but she forced them to drop to her side anyway. Maura straightened but didn't scoot away, giving Jane a better view of how puffy Maura's eyes remained after the tears had stopped. "Killing me would break his pattern, his goal... And.. Jane, you're more at risk than I. I would never forgive myself if I asked you to hunt him down, and it ended up the other way around. The only way in which I can assure that this won't happen, is if we work together. Even you must admit that we make a great team."
They did. They always had, and now Jane was past the point of remembering a case that she solved lately that didn't involve Maura's assistance. Jane wasn't crazy about the idea of Maura involving herself into a case that centered around her already, but if it got herself onto the field.. Maybe she would consider it. . Jane didn't like it, but she was finding it harder and harder to argue. "...We do make a great team, don't we?" And, Jane wouldn't have to hole herself up when there was a case to sink her teeth into, now aided by Maura. Jane's memories danced back to an earlier time, when things were a bit more simple and less confusing. When her life was clear cut, and everything remained within the boundaries. In doing so, Jane realized that if given the option, she wouldn't go back. The uncertainty of what choice she had really made was killing her slowly, but she would never go back.
"Yes. It's unfortunate that our jobs don't enable us to become work partners." Maura frowned, as if the Maura Isles, donned in spiked heels and the latest designer jacket, was considering a day in the life of a homicide detective.
"Maura. You.. On the field. Hunting down killers.. With a gun." Jane laughed, unable to stop despite the way Maura's shoulders slumped forward, coupled with the distraught look that formed on her face. No matter how great Maura looked when she had taught her how to shoot a gun, the thought of Maura actually chasing someone with one in her Jimmy Choo's was positively comical. So comical, in fact, that Jane snaked her hand around her back and grabbed the accent pillow stuffed there, pressing it firmly against her mouth to stop herself from laughing at Maura.
A horrified look struck Maura's features, leading Jane to firmly believe that she imagined the heel of her designer shoes snapping. "Well of course not, Jane. I would just use my expertise to help track the killer. You would be the one with the gun. You did say how you would prefer to 'be the man' in a partnership.." Oh, well, made sense- Wait, the man?
Now they were joking about it? Again, Jane found the boundaries that separated their friendship from something more, blur. The boundaries had always been something played with, something constantly blurred, even when Jane considered them as just friends. What was new, was that Jane was actually recognizing when the edges became fuzzy, when before, she had been oblivious."Oh shut up! That was so five cases ago." Jane exclaimed, smacking the accent pillow into Maura's side. For now, it was a joke, but it treaded dangerously close to hope.
"Says the woman who was more submissive with a female bartender than she was with a male nurse." Maura braced for the second inevitable smack of the pillow, and was awarded with one, snorting with laughter.
Even Jane laughed, defensive with disbelief, but happily surprised at what a good cry had done for Maura. "Hey! I was working a case. That was evidence collection, my friend." Jane dotted her words with her finger, pointing to the spot on her neck where Maura had swabbed.
Maura paused, a look of consideration passing over mischievously playful eyes. "I'd like to work the case."
Jane felt a flutter in her chest as her heart skipped a beat, long eyelashes blinking in surprise. Maura's face remained flawless, deceptively cool with her lips contorted into something that fell between a smirk and a smile, and Jane had to wonder- Was she flirting with her?
Maura's comment went far beyond where either of them had dared to go before. Jane shifted her body, leaning her side against the back of the couch, as she weighed her options. Common sense told her to put a stop to this, now, before they set events into motion that they couldn't take back. But Jane was suddenly feeling.. Adventurous, curious to see if she was the only one that thought they were beginning to outgrow their own games. "You wanna work the case?" Her voice came out more lowly than she intended, an octave only just above a husk. What was she doing? Jane desperately needed a reaction, something to gauge. She needed to know that she wasn't crazy, but most importantly, she needed to know that she wasn't alone.
A tell-tale hitch of breath, the sudden stillness claiming Maura's body as her eyes seemed to implore Jane; Testing the waters, checking to see if they were on the same level. It was the reaction Jane needed. As not to shatter the moment with sound, Maura nodded her head once in confirmation, truly ready to test Jane's next move, testing the whatever hypothesis she had arrived on. Jane was aware that the ball was in her court now, but whether or not this was just another one of their games would no longer be a matter of opinion if she decided to shoot. Good or bad, she would get the answer to the question that had haunted her all night- What was Maura to her, really?
A fraction of a centimeter. The olive skin tilted a fraction of a centimeter, dark flowing locks veiled a fraction of a centimeter more of her skin, her neck arching a fraction of a centimeter closer to the truth. Nerves burned her stomach, threatening to turn Jane into a quivering mess, leaving her face brushed with a flush of red. What was she doing? Maura was her best friend, and yet, she was a fraction of an inch closer to changing that forever... Jane had the potential to mess everything up, everything that meant the most to her- Was she ready, willing, to take that kind of leap?
Maura remained impassively cool, but Jane noticed her chin raise. If Jane brought her face closer, the move now gave her the perfect angle to make her move. Their eyes were locked on each other, aware that if they look away, the moment would come crashing down around them. It was now, or never..
A shrieking tone shattered the perfect silence where the only sound had been the sound of their nervously short breaths. Jane jerked back, flushing a hue of crimson, blinking herself out of the hazel hypnosis.
"It's your Mother." Maura's gazed fixed on Jane's pocket in a mixture of surprise and disbelief. Her eyes returned from their saucer-like appearance at the initial sound, but the pink flush that beautifully captured her normally peachy complexion remained.
A string of curses sprang to Jane's mind, all of which too dirty to place next to what almost had happened. A deeper blush of red heated her face, as Jane raked her fingers into her pocket, only mustering a mumble of apologies as she dug out the oppressive object.
"Rizzoli!" Jane answered automatically, momentarily forgetting among the embarrassment that her mother was on the other end.
"Janie, what happened? Do you not tell your mother anything anymore? Why do I have to hear from Frankie that your apartment has been roped off..." The string of a million questions continued, and the rest Jane tuned out. Jane worked the back of her neck with the hand that wasn't holding the phone, disbelief of what her mother just interrupted causing Jane's eyes to flicker back and forth from the floor over to Maura. Maura's lips pressed together, shooting a look of understanding at Jane before she stood up from the couch. Jane should have been listening to her mother, but her attention stuck with Maura as she watched her stretch, and watched her retreating figure as it ventured through the doorway of the kitchen.
"Did you hear me! I want answers. You ran off so quickly today after ruining Frankie's adorable attempts to.."
"-Sorry Ma, but right now is not a good time."
"It never is a good time with you Jane, you're always working, you're always.."
"-Alright, Ma, I'm sorry! I'm fine, Maura is fine. We have a hotel room. No need to worry. We're working on the case, I'm sorry about dinner, but I'll call you back sometime later." Jane figured that covered all of the questions she had or had not been listening to over the course of the phone call.
"Janie, just promise your mother that you'll be careful, and that you'll keep our Maura safe."
Our Maura. This, Jane could promise.
Maura came back as soon as Jane ended the phone call, navigating into the room with two mugs in her hand. She balanced the mugs as she folded herself into the couch, curling her legs as she extended one of them out to her. It didn't appear to be beer, and Maura would never drink wine out of a mug. "What's this?" Jane questioned as she took it, the heat through the porcelain a welcomed comfort though the discolored liquid offered no clue.
"Chamomile." Jane wasn't a big tea drinker and it wasn't beer, but she was glad to have it regardless. "Thanks." The heat from the tea tickled her face as she took a sip, the warmth trailing down her tongue and throat. The awkwardness hadn't had a chance to settle like Jane thought it would. Maybe it was the chamomile that steamed out the expected tension, but the two women sat at their respective sides of the couch, content as they regarded each other, and regarded what almost had happened. The moment was over, and Jane couldn't possibly finish her actions now, but neither of them could pretend that it almost didn't happen. Yet, the moment couldn't be would just have to wait, wait for the opportunity to explore their options when it could be.
Though highly unwelcome as she sipped her tea and enjoyed the silence, Jane was more prepared when her second call came. This time, from Frost. The comfort of the evening was threatened, but this was also something Jane had grown used to during the course of her work life.
"Rizzoli." Jane mechanically answered the phone as she untucked her feet and placed them on the ground, propping herself up with her elbow on her knee.
"I don't know if you've had a chance to look at the crime scene photos, but the Medical Examiner retrieved the pics of Isles from our third vic. Want me to send the copies over?"
"Uh, It'd be great if you could." Jane shuffled the photos on the table, idly flipping over their faces in mock productiveness. "Anything new?"
"Nah, pretty much the same old thing. Maura at crime scenes, Maura getting into her car. Man, this guy turns up at just as many crime scenes as we do."
Man, this guy turns up at just as many crime scenes as we do. Her partner's words echoed on loop through Jane's head as she froze, her jaw dropped to form a perfect 'O'. When she blinked, she was snapped out of it, her fingers furiously shuffling the pictures in front of her.
"Frost, I'll call you back in a second." Jane said hurriedly, clicking the phone off. The pictures had pinged with her before.. And just maybe..
She flipped through the one glossy face to the next, Maura at the van, Maura at a crime scene, until she landed on the photograph taken during the mock Boston strangler case. This wasn't the first time Jane saw the prints, a memory of a previous case, but it was more than just something from a memory. Jane had seen this particular picture once before.
"Jane, what is it? What's wrong." Jane hadn't realized Maura had moved until she felt a hand gingerly touch the side of her arm. Jane looked up into the concerned expression, flipping the image so Maura could see it.
"Oh my God, I think I know where I remember this from. Maura... I think I know who our killer is."