Rescue 3/?
Title: Rescue
Author: iDreamofLovex
Paring: Eventual Jane/Maura
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These Characters belong to Tess Gerritsen and TNT.
Summary: But what did you do, when the person you loved was unattainable?
You sleep in their bed. You accept their comfort. You revel in what time you have together, and you remind yourself daily that one day... It could all disappear.
A/N: Wow, like an ass, I forgot to post this to the community. My Chapters immediately go up on FanFiction .. And for some reason, I just totally forgot to post it here for you lovely people. D:
Anyway, I have Three and Four, which I will split into two posts!
Feel free to yell at me over twitter: @iDreamofLovex
It has been awhile since I last posted here, so here are Chapters One and Two!:
Chapter One The Call
Chapter Two The Scene
Maura:/
There was a zero percent possibility that Jane knew what Maura had been through that night, and that was something the Forensic Pathologist was certain of.
When she'd heard the knock, Maura had been expecting Jane. There had been a lot of tossing and turning before she had gotten the knock at the door, the moon high in the sky and the stars twinkling in the dark of the early morning through her bed room window. No one came knocking at her door at that time. There was no one in Maura's life that was welcome in her home at that hour, no one except for Jane. A mutual understanding had fallen between the two, seemingly by the first time they'd slid onto a bar stool for after work drinks: "I understand you, better than I understand me, better than most understand me." It was from that, that spurred their ever-blossoming friendship of mutual trust, mutual comfort, mutual companionship.
And for Maura Isles, lay the foundation for unrequited love. The truth of the matter was, Jane could come knocking at any time, day or night, because there wasn't a minute in the day that Maura didn't want to see Jane. When she had drawn back that door, there was no fighting the giddy feeling that came with the thoughts, riddled with the expectancy of spending the rest of the evening with Jane.
She got what she wished for, just not the way she had expected, nor would ever hope for. The image was likely forever embedded in her memory, or what her mind had pieced together when given the visual stimuli- Jane, dead. Maura could spot death from a mile away - she could practically smell it. There was no question that, with one tiny glimpse from horrified eyes, the heart deep within the chest had stopped. The sound of her own screams still reverberated in her eardrums. One look down at her front step, and a feral, animalistic cry of pain ripped her throat, tore her lungs, pierced her auditory nerve. It should have hurt but for the longest time, Maura had a problem recognizing who was making that awful sound... Even went as far as to have the police check her neighbor's house, check her grounds for someone else..
Maura had been alone. And with the tenderness of her throat, Maura identified the culprit as herself. Slowly she was able to piece together what had taken place after that, but the images were blurry, as if she were attempting to dredge up a nightmare from a tender age in her childhood. Faintly, she remember fingers shaking across the number pad, dialing Rizzoli's unit. Her frightened words sputtering out: "Possible officer down.". But more clearly, it's sharpness evident against the backdrop of ghostly recollection, was the sound of Jane's voice on the line when she answered: "Maura, what's up?" Maura scarcely remembered dialing her.
Everything beyond that point was brought to focus. It was a brief moment of insanity that Maura Isles never thought would plague her in a lifetime. Maura was too bright, too together, too different- But maybe not as different as everyone seemed to think. Jane tore her out of the mounting hysteria almost instantaneously, and she carried on the rest of the night like she normally would have- Except for one detail, minuscule to others but grandiose to a woman that spent more time with dead than the living- She didn't touch the body. She studied the grooves of the woman's cheek bones, her eyes sliding down the planes of her body and over ruffled work pants that were two sizes too large. She mentally tagged every difference between the dead woman and Jane, but Maura found that it didn't make a difference. The woman was meant to be Jane, and somewhere deep inside of Maura, couldn't handle that.
"Cause of death: Y-Incision. Autopsy confirmed that the cause of death was, in simple terms, an Autopsy."
"... after slicing through the stitches, we recovered photographs of you at previous crime scenes within various internal organs, housed in Ziploc bags."
"...A single rose, plucked out of her hair by Rizzoli herself... Dr. Isles...? We recovered a picture of Jane within her heart. The Boston P.D says their suspicions were confirmed, and they're doing what they can to find this guy."
How was one supposed to act, when faced with this sort of information? Maura felt violation crawl across her skin like maggots, she felt imposed on. But most of all.. Sick. Sick that someone was murdering victims, sick that it was done for her. It was normal to be afraid, but Maura couldn't find much fear. The only thing about the whole incident that had frightened her, was the body. And now that it wasn't Jane, everything else- The stalker, the investigation.. Everything paled in comparison. Of course, she relayed all of the information to Jane. Jane wouldn't stop until the story had been told, re-told, and told again- Straight from the beginning, up until the time she arrived. Sitting atop the stool in Jane's kitchen, they picked apart the details, reconnected them one by one. Their musings bonded a silent, unmentioned pact- To continue working this case, together, despite what Korsak or their superiors said. Of course, she excluded the dirty details from the relay. The memory of her scream was all hers.
These thoughts, Maura didn't dare bring to Jane's bed. Late noon sunlight streamed in through an uncurtained window, and Maura found herself admiring the way it reflected off her friend's soft calve muscle too much to allow the twisted events of the night before to shed even an ounce of darkness in on an image she adored. Instead, Maura thought back to the first time she realized her love for Jane Rizzoli...
The discovery in itself wasn't much of a shock. There had been several clues along the way, glaringly obvious but none in which Maura chose to see until the facts were laid out and the hypothesis was tested. There friendship had grown quickly, so quickly that Maura was able to brush aside her feelings as something strictly platonic- at first. That was until she realized how much easier it was to sleep with Jane around, and how Maura thrived off of their time together, looked forward to the moments when she would hear the boots click down the hallway after a long day of autopsies. Once aware, Maura could never delete the knowledge from her brain. She yearned to be close with Jane and never hid it, but never came out with it either- That was how they operated. There were times in which Maura, wearing a low cut top, would catch Jane's wandering eyes.. Or times when their togetherness flirted dangerously between the boundaries of friends and something more.
Maura was certain that Jane was oblivious- at least consciously. So what did she do? She further confused her. She planted hints like landmines, and when Jane trampled ever-so-closely near, she would throw a blind date Jane's way, or discuss their mutual lack of love-lives- Each dating men, each of them finding something wrong with the men. Maura was guilty of this, more so than Jane. But what did you do, when the person you loved was unattainable?
You sleep in their bed. You accept their comfort. You revel in what time you have together, and you remind yourself daily that one day... It could all disappear. After the night before, after realizing just how close this all came to actually disappearing.. It wasn't clear to Maura how much longer she could hold out with her knowledge. She wanted Jane to know, but Jane knowing anything.. It laid the potential for Maura to lose her. And that.. That she couldn't bare.
The mattress tilted, as Jane kicked another toned leg out from underneath the sheets, Maura unabashedly savoring the last bit of peace on her face, as the serenity of sleep began to melt away. Through out all of her stirrings, Maura was thankful of one simple little gesture that hadn't changed among Jane's shifting. It was better than the sight of the woman next to her.. The feel of her arm, draped loosely across the small of her back. Maura watched as Jane's face scrunched, warning her that she had only seconds to gather up the thoughts and secure them away tightly. Nanoseconds before they would have to take their positions, and zero the scoreboard. The buzzer sounded, as long eyelashes fluttered apart, chocolate eyes blinking to life. Like honey, slow and thick, the rosy lips Maura longed for smiled in an emotion and manner Maura could never pin-point, but often saw in the mornings after Jane hid out in her home. Somehow, Maura knew it was a smile only she would see. And somehow, Maura knew that if she didn't want to lose this- All of this, they would have to begin their daily games. It was the only game Maura would ever be familiar with playing.
"Is this your way of saying you're attracted to me?"
Jane:/
"Of course." Jane smirked into her pillow, eyes alight with mischief. For a moment, the night before was obsolete. Of course, it had also taken Jane a little while to figure out what Maura had even been talking about. After a night full of nightmares, Jane awoke to just about the only face she would ever want to see after the fitful rest. So, it sounded a bit gay of her, especially after Maura's comment, but it was the truth- Waking up to Maura was ten times better than waking up to a guy after a so-so date. Jane woke up on her side facing Maura, who lay neutrally on her stomach, her head nestled on the pillow but turned in her direction. Jane had to blink a few times to work up the sight to see that her arm was still draped across her friend's back. Jane had only assumed that it would have fallen away some time during the night, but apparently, the fit had been too perfect. "Actually, it seemed to be the only thing that kept you still. You okay?"
Joe Friday could really kick in his sleep, but couldn't hold a candle to Maura. She thrashed, whatever pain her friend had been haunted with, the source of the shadows in her eyes that Jane had attempted to chase away in vain, all came out in her sleep. Hissing 'Maura... Maura!' Only temporarily calmed the quell until Jane, exasperated and concerned, threw an arm around the trembling frame. It was enough to calm her for the night, but as Jane peered into the open eyes, she couldn't tell what it did for her now. Jane's head arched with the question, her nimble fingers automatically smoothing the silk of Maura's pajama top against her back, before letting her arm droop and fill the narrow space of bed between them.
"Oddly refreshed," There was no mistaking the humor that lit Maura's eyes, the devilish smirk that laced her lips. Overnight it seemed, Maura had re-discovered her sense of humor, to Jane's surprise- and gratitude. Watching her friend carry herself through the turmoil of the night before had struck Jane somewhere more deeply than she had ever anticipated.
Jane shifted, laying her stomach flat upon the mattress and raising herself up on her elbows. "Was that sarcasm, Dr. Isles?"
With the change in pace, Maura rolled on to her side, a subtle smirk painting her features. "Maybe a little," she managed, before the sweetest sound, a throaty laugh escaped her lips. Jane found her own smile to be oddly involuntary as her eyes grazed over her friend. Her actions around Maura in general seemed to be oddly involuntary.. As of lately. The source of the reasons Jane couldn't pinpoint, yet didn't think too widely about. She wasn't sure, but she could ask Maura if this was a normal response to trauma. Not that their trauma had even been remotely normal.
What was normal, anyway? Jane's eyes flickered down to Maura's hands, where she watched the woman trace patterns into her bed sheets. It was the simplest things, gestures like that, that made the breath catch in Jane's throat for reasons unknown to the homicide detective. Was this normal? Maybe.. Maybe it was almost losing it all that-
"Jane.. Thank you. Thank you for coming when I called.. Thank you for taking me in.. This whole situation, I just don't think it's going to get any easier-" The words, words had caught Jane off-guard, watching Maura's fingers delve across white sheets sending her into a state of trance.
"Hey, how many times have you been there for me when I needed you? A lot. Besides.. I don't trust anyone else to stay with you." That, and the fact that she would never openly admit that she hadn't wanted Maura out of her sight. And, with the playfulness in the air gone, she also didn't trust herself to not stay in bed all day if she didn't get up now. Jane kicked the sheets off of her legs in resolution, peeling her toned abdominal muscles away from the bed, peeling herself away from Maura. The slightest distance was already clearing her head, as Jane padded across the floor toward the bedroom door. It had to be the lack of decent sleep, and the large lack of decent caffeine.. Because what else could befuddle her thoughts, when they had a psychotic stalker on their hands? Jane turned the cool metal knob and drew back the door expectantly and sure enough-
A tornado of fur and hair yipped happily, pouncing on her legs for a quick head rub. It was the distraction she needed. Jane bent to extend her hand out to Joe Friday, but was no match for the speed of the dog, who excitedly ran in circles before launching head-first into the sea of sheets and pillows, showering an unsuspecting but laughing Maura with kisses. "You know," Maura began, holding Joe Friday steady to ward off the attacks, "Dogs have cleaner mouths than human beings?" Maura laughed, scooping the ball of fur up and setting him on her lap.
"Right. I've seen where his mouth has been and let me tell you-" Jane began, de-rooting herself from merely viewing in the doorway as she crossed the space to her wardrobe where she would pretend to put a little thought into her outfit, when she was cut off by two, terrified words, gasped from the bed behind her "Oh! Bass!" The horrified look that Jane watched constrict Maura's face almost sent Jane into a fit of giggles herself.
"Already taken care of. Frankie is going over a few times a day to feed him those... Brazilian strawberries he likes so much.. Not exactly the detail job he was looking for, but he's not complaining." Jane informed, fingers trailing through an array of average shirts.
"Who- Bass, or Frankie? Bass can be quite.. picky. Also, they're British, Jane. And yes, there is a difference." Jane stuck her tongue out, back to her childhood roots, receiving a look from Maura that said exactly that.
Fine, then. Jane turned her back on Maura again, to survey her wardrobe. Drab in comparison to the array she had seen in Maura's closet the night before, a patchwork of fine silk and expensive cashmere. They were different, that was certain; While Maura worried about the stitching and quality of the fabric.. Jane made sure not to wear the same thing more than once. It was even more of a plus if it actually matched.
Not that Jane spent a lot of time considering wardrobe matters, but she had the excuse to idly choose whatever, a shrill noise cutting over Joe Friday's happy pants due to Maura's belly rubs. Specific ring tone identified. Caller: Ma. Jane groaned. Slowly she turned, her cell phone in a conniption fit of lights, vibrations, and show tunes on her bedside table. Maybe if she waited.. She could let the call go to voice mail..
Maura looked up to Jane, and grinned evilly. Maura knew what that song meant. Likewise, Jane knew what that look meant. For someone who wasn't used to being in the presence in the living, she seemed to know more about Jane than was comfortable, despite her claims that Jane was too 'complex'. Often, Jane suspected she took a scalpel to her head at night, and examined the spheres of her brain one by one.
Maura's eyes didn't leave her, nor did the wicked smile diminish when a perfectly sculpted arm slithered out of her lap, extending over to the table. Jane glared, daring her with a searing look- 'Don't you dare, Maura.. Don't you..'
Flip. Click. The dark plastic sailed from the bed in an arc straight to Jane's hands. The athlete in her had no choice but to grab it out of the air, shooting daggers Maura's way. Angela Rizzoli always had an odd way of knowing everything about her daughter's life.. And Jane was not about to get into these questions. She could already hear her mother- "See Jane? Even MAURA has a stalker. Maura! Who spends less time on the field than you.." The seconds ticked before Jane pushed the plastic to her ear- There was no avoiding Angela Rizzoli. Like a band-aid, you had to rip it off fast.
"Hey Ma- No, I don't think I can come over- He told you what? Remind me to kill Frankie- I know it's gnocchi night but-" Mid-sentence, Maura leaped to her knees on the bed, and situated herself to perch on them in front of Jane. Jane only spared her a single look, translating bits of her mother's ranting speech, Maura occupying her other ear. Really, she just wanted to get out of Family Dinner Night to focus on the case, or spare Maura from her mother's limelight, now that Frankie had apparently let the cat out of the bag.
"Jane, I love gnocchi."
Jane covered the mouth piece with her palm. No gnocchi was worth this. Not even her family's recipe. "It's not about the gnocchi, it's about the people serving-" she tried explaining.
Rapid fire whining in her left ear, "Yeah, Ma, I'm still here!" Jane assured her, only to be chided on phone etiquette, berated for the hundredth time on her line of work.
In her right ear, Maura piped up, though Jane's eyes remained neutrally transfixed at her own feet. "I love the people serving the gnocchi in question."
She.. What? Jane's palm smashed down on the mouth piece once more, her head perked to the side in questioning gesture. "You really want to go over there?" Maura knew how her family could be. Why the Forensic Pathologist would subject herself to such intrusion was beyond her.
"..Yes, I do." Maura said, solidifying her response with a nod.
Jane groaned, again. Maura smiled innocently from the bed, as if she wasn't the cause behind today's misfortunes. It was a face Jane could not deny. Given what Maura had been through, was going through.. She probably needed the distraction. Her lips pursed quickly, decision made.
"Alright Ma, Maura and I will be over later for gnocchi."
Not even the Rizzoli Family Gnocchi was worth this.
"Maura, we're glad to have you. And maybe you can talk some sense into Jane. Isn't it time she starts bringing some potential husbands around? I want grand kids, you know." There was a certain whine to her mother's voice that Jane could not stand, especially when the particular whine was navigated towards pointing out her lack of a husband and children. This was, of course, after getting an earful about the dangers of her job, and an interrogation to Maura on why she didn't choose to do something safer with her medical degree, like pediatrics. Maura handling children was possibly more laughable than Maura handling live patients, but Jane decided to keep that one to herself.
"You don't have to answer that." Who was she kidding? She was certain Maura was fully enjoying this, now that the topic was off the case and on to one of Maura's favorite subjects. How many times had the Medical Examiner set her up on bad dates?
The large ceramic bowl filled with baked gnocchi finally made it's way to her open hands across the square table. With word on Maura attending the dinner, Jane's mother had really went all out, and it was clear that against Maura's posh lifestyle, her mother was trying to impress. Soft candle light flickered from centerpiece candles, the hot red wax already dripping down the glass holders with the start of dinner. Steam rolled off the abundant slices of garlic bread, situated evenly between her family and Maura. It would be a shame to ruin such a sight, the chandeliers hovering on dim above their heads, accenting the red cloth napkins in their laps to match the red wine in their glasses.. Unfortunately, Jane had some brother-killing to do, and fine china wouldn't stand in her way.
With the Rizzoli china, Jane spooned a large helping of gnocchi on to her plate, and set the bowl in the middle. "Oh, well.. Jane is still very young, Mrs. Rizzoli. She still has a few prime years to produce grandchildren before her chances of risk increase." Jane spied a playful glint in Maura's eyes, grinding her teeth in response to it.
"But don't you think it would be good for her to date more. I mean, you date, don't you? Wouldn't you agree that it's normal for women your age?" Her mother dotted the end of her words in the air with her fork, on the same sad mission that she never tired of. Jane regarded the exchange quietly. Perhaps if she avoided it, it would blow over.
Maura was clearly into it. "I suppose for single women it is normal to date at this age... I've had a few dates this month myself. Jane is particularly difficult to find dates for." Could she sense.. Manipulation? Maura's eyes shifted innocently to meet her's. Oh yes, Manipulation. She was finding humor in this.
Her mother ate it up between fork fulls of gnocchi. "See Jane- Even Dr. Isles finds time to date! And I'm sure things are getting serious now." Her eyes left Jane and zeroed in on Maura expectantly, her fork still above her plate. Still expecting to pride Maura as an example, but the victories shifted. Maura dumped every guy she ever tried to date for one reason or another. Jane forked a gnocchi for the first time, her eyes shifting between her mother and Maura. She could not miss this.
"Oh- No," Maura laughed, Jane watching as her thoughts reflected back on the date briefly, "He had Androgenic alopecia." The humor was lost on the Rizzoli family, as Maura shook her head and chuckled to herself. Jane swallowed a laugh at her mother, who stared blankly at Maura. Frank, who cut his pasta in half with his fork, as if he understood the ailment or the inner workings of Maura's mind.. And her father, who clearly stopped paying attention at 'Angrogenic'. Jane had a leg up on the knowledge, having heard the story long before they. Sensing the silence that had befallen the table, Maura raised her eyes from the pasta, to meet the incredulous look from across the table.
"... Male patterned baldness." It was Jane's turn to chuckle into her gnocchi. How could Maura know that her mother didn't pride the picky?
A charged silence fell across the table, Angela's eyes locked on Maura. Jane could see from across the table, Frankie was swallowing the same laugh. Maura was in trouble. When one was invited to Rizzoli Family Dinner, one was welcomed into the family. Unfortunately for Maura, it meant that she would be treated not as an Isles, but as a Rizzoli. Maura's in trouble, Maura's in trouble. Na-na-na-na-boo-boo. Why did family dinners bring forth her five-year-old attitude?
Slowly, Maura's face rose from her plate, sensing the sensitivity of the situation. Jane pressed her lips tightly together simultaneously with the locking of her mother's jaw, her eyes flipping back from the stony glance of a mother let down, to the deer-in-the-headlights Maura. "Besides, Jane doesn't really like my attempts to fix her up." Foiled again, just when the conversation was deviating from her. But not so fast, Isles. Unbeknownst to Maura, the damage had already been done.
The laugh Jane had been biting back sprang from her mouth full force, her mother's eyes narrowed in preparation. "Jane!" Maura hissed, but Jane swayed back and forth in her seat, Frankie quipping from across the table, but not daring.
"Eat! Both of you!" Angela forked at the pasta menacingly. Laughter halted. The simple command sent the forks sailing down onto the unsuspecting pasta, each woman sharing looks of total and sudden concentration on their dinners. "Jeeze. Carrying on as if there aren't any good men left in Boston.. Male-patterned baldness, my god.." Angela grumbled, clearly distraught.
Seconds ticked by slowly, only the sounds of fork to plate to be heard, no one brave enough to look up from their plate until one courageous soul stepped forward. "So... uh.. Anyone up for some baseball?" Frankie provided the escape, so Frankie was also off of her shit list from revealing what had taken place the night before.. Maybe. Instantly, a trio of chairs pushed back from the square table Jane muttering, "Oh, me." Maura aiding with a, "I could use some practice on my form," each eager to evade the tension in a scramble towards the dining room door.
Jane bee-lined after Frankie, Maura hot on their heels as they ignored protests of 'Hey!' chasing out from the dining room and through the home she'd done a lot of growing up in. Foot falls quickened at the appearance of the back door, and faintly Jane could hear the scraping of chairs in the dining room. They had seconds. Frankie slammed open the door and they shot out the back door in a line, emerging on to the green and brown speckled grass of their backyard. The scene was reminiscent of Jane's childhood. Shrill, tight dinner, then she and Frankie would run off and get into some trouble in the backyard. Only now, it was better with Maura, and with the absence of little Joseph down the block teasing them from the street.
Home free. Chocolate orbs roamed the grass before honing in on the long metal of the abandoned bat. Jogging over, her mind filled with thoughts of optimism. It was fully possible with a Rizzoli lesson, that Maura could be good enough to play in the big leagues- Or, rather, the department baseball games-
Home free? Home not.
"Jane, you better get in here and help me with these dishes. They don't do themselves you know!'
"Aw, Ma!'
Jane was elbow-deep in soap suds when she first heard it, indicator to a scene she did not want to see. "Jane, don't you think they look good together?"
Jane regarded the sight out of the kitchen window, but could not agree. The sun set across the back drop of the wooden fence, painting the sky with bright yellows and orange. Her mother, stars in her eyes as she gripped the drying cloth was not referring to nature's beauty, but something of a different kind.
Jane had idly viewed Frankie and Maura switching bats while soaping up the dishes, watching throw after throw while she slaved away. Eventually she grew bored, and shifted her attention on her task. In doing so, she let the competition creep in.
Competition. It was the first word that popped into her head when her dark eyes flickered up to the window, to see Frankie and Maura intertwined into what would look like a back to front embrace, if the metal of the bat wasn't lofted in the air. Maura nestled in the inside, Frankie's hand bracing her lower stomach and holding her hips into place in the 'proper' batting stance. His arms laced out over her's, guiding her arms into a batting stance.
Jane's face grew hot, a flint of jealousy sparking an ember within her. "No!" The sharpness in Jane's voice shocked her but she couldn't bring herself to correct herself. They didn't look good together. Jane didn't dare entertain the thoughts of Maura and Frankie because it could never happen- She would never let it happen. All the while, she should be out there helping Maura, not her brother. The jealousy, rolling fierce in the pit of her stomach.. Jane didn't care about the baseball. It was the proximity that bothered her. The closeness of her brother to her friend- Her Maura. Her Maura.
Jane hadn't realized that her actions had frozen until a plate slipped between her fingers and splashed into the sink, spraying her black top with soap suds. Her eyes not straying from the scene, she wiped her arm across the front of her top, only further dampening it. She paid her shirt no mind, and shook the remaining droplets from her hands.
Without warning, Jane spun around in her tracks, stampeding out of the back door. She couldn't be sure if her mother had attempted to put a stop to her, only aware of what she had to put a stop to herself. Why was not the question, it was how.
Fire flared and blood boiled, catching remnants of giggles in the air. Baring similarities to a hot-headed child, Jane stomped across the grass, water boiling an spilling over.
"What is that? How do you expect her to hit anything when you have her positioned like that?" Satisfaction set in when they jumped apart, seemingly unaware of Jane until she came up behind them, surprise in their eyes and laced in their expressions.
The rage was ever-present in her voice, anger was not something Jane was ever able to mask eloquently. A baffled Frankie kicked the bat against his foot, his face revealing that he was unaware of where all of this was coming from. Playing innocent, huh? "Come on Jane, it's the same stance you girls always do."
Jane would pick at anything for an excuse to cover up. Hide behind half-truths, erase jealousy and fill in a feminist approach. "You girls!? You show her the wrong way because she's a girl. What is this, the fifties?" Hotly, Jane crossed her arms, realizing how she sounded but unable to halt her mouth. Halt the stabbing feeling in her chest at the thought of Maura with Frankie.
She felt a gentle touch at the side of her elbow, but shook it off. Just by the sound of her voice, Jane could see a mental image of Maura's face, eyes rounded in surprise. She didn't dare look over. "Jane, don't you think you're-"
Frankie balked, stepping back as if to visually show he was backing down. He could even sense Jane was acting irrationally. Jane knew she was acting irrationally, but she couldn't stop it. This, she would never compromise. "She needed help, I gave it to her. That's it." Frankie's tone was final, treading near a 'girl issue' he didn't quite understand, but not wishing to become part of it- or fall victim to it.
Her sudden whirlwind, it caught up to her. She really had stormed the grounds because her brother was.. What? Showing Maura how to play baseball? Jane felt a new kind of heat simmer across her forehead, and that, was a little thing called embarrassment. "Yeah, well, it's not needed anymore." Looking anyone in the eye was not an option at this point, so Jane took a particular interest in kicking a blade of grass that was slightly longer than the rest with the toe of her sneaker.
The crickets sounded. The bat fell to the ground with a metallic 'clank', the only sound following as Frankie retreated back across the grass, confusion evident.
Jane's form remained still. Why did she get herself into this? What was she trying to prove? Why did it bother her so much? The back door slammed shut, breaking the silence.
"Jane," Maura began, but for the second time that day, Jane's cell phone cut through the night.
"I've gotta get this." Really, she had to avoid Maura's X-Ray eyes. Her dissection fingers.
Willingly this time around, Jane drew the phone out of her pocket, flipping it on. The ringtone indicated Frost. Indicated the fact that she would now be allowed to emerge herself in the case, instead of questioning her own motivations. At least she understood the case, even when she didn't. "Rizzoli. No, it's fine- What!... Oh god, okay. We're headed there now."
"Maura? We've gotta go."
The air seemed to be charged with danger. Two bodies discovered, all baring similarities with the first- Death by autopsy. The frustration Jane felt was deep-pitted; the killer was growing more bold.
"Two bodies discovered. One outside of the Medical Examiner's building, the other outside of your apartment building, Jane."
They swirled up the walk of the Boston Police Department, permanently banned from Jane's apartment for the time being, their presence demanded in lieu of the recent events. Frost promised presents in the form of the photographs extracted from the bodies, right after she forced him to admit that he needed her.
"What was that back there?" Maura demanded, stopping in her tracks as some sort of indication that Jane should stop, too. Crazy wouldn't stop while they were having this conversation, one that Jane wished to avoid, but nonetheless, the man haunting Maura was still out there... Still fighting for her. Why Maura couldn't see that, Jane couldn't understand. This matter was trivial, this matter didn't throw a man behind bars, so why did it hold so much importance to her?
Jane halted reluctantly to appease her, her foot planted on the first of the stone steps that would lead to a quick escape inside if she needed one. Rigid was also Jane's posture, as she turned her head back to Maura, who hadn't moved behind her. She wouldn't let this go.
"Nothing.. He was just.. Showing you the wrong way." Well, that was true, but even on her own ears, it didn't sound the least bit convincing. Jane chewed on her bottom lip, wishing this would all just go away. Okay, so she overreacted. That wasn't something that was different or shocking.
"I'm known to be a terrible liar Jane, but you're not always convincing.." Maura's no-nonsense look told Jane this was not going to be easy.
"Fine. I... I-uh, I don't want you dating my brother." There. She said it. Or had she? Jane watched as the bomb was dropped. She expected confusion, and that was just what Jane got. Maura moved out from behind her to stand next to her, as if the proximity would allow her entry to Jane's mind.
"I don't quite understand. Frankie is nice man, he's my best friend's brother.. Forgive me if I don't see the problem here."
"It's just... Weird, is all." Jane crossed her arms, uncertainty creeping over her skin. Maura could sense it, smell it on her, Jane was certain.
Her eyes bore into Jane's, unrelenting. A flicker of uncertainty masked within the hard stare. "Is that all? Is that the only reason you don't want me dating your brother?" Maura's arms crossed solidly, her eyes searching.
Was it? "Yes!" Jane nodded her head, so sure. So.. Not sure? Why didn't she want to see Maura with Frankie? Because Frankie could never be good enough. Garret could never be good enough. The Yoga Instructor could never be good enough. Jane could never-
"No.." Unease filled her as a response to the way her stomach had sank. Jane could never be good enough. How easily she had placed herself in the running. So easily it had slipped into her mind, the weight of the statement heavy on her mind, her lungs, her everything.
"I don't know.. Maura!" Jane resisted the urge to stamp her foot, her eyes pleading. Everything pleaded within her just to drop it. Jane had once thought she knew herself, inside and out. Her motivations, why she loved her job so much, why she chose to be single.. She couldn't face the possibility that she was wrong, that she was hiding something from herself. If she didn't know herself, how could she suspect to get into the mind of a killer? She couldn't. She couldn't do her job. "Why aren't you more worried about the two murders that are clearly committed for you. You're at risk, and we're discussing why I don't want you to date Frankie?"
"Because Jane, I'm here with you. Why should I worry?" Blond tresses shook as if to indicate that she really didn't grasp the fact that a mad serial killer had a thing for her.
Jane's eyebrows flickered upward, her eyes rolling. "Gee, Maura, maybe because he found my apartment?"
Maura sighed. "It's not all about logic sadly, as I have come to discover. You'll keep me safe, in the same way that I kept you safe when Hoyt escaped. You didn't go to Frost, to Korsak, your mother. You came to me because you knew I'd never let anything happen to you, just like I know you'll never let anything happen to me. Just like I knew when Detective Leahy held me at gun point. Just like I will always know. You love me, Jane. Just as I love you."
And just like that, Jane knew. The breath caught in Jane's throat, her mind frozen but whirling at a speed Joe Friday couldn't muster. She could feel her jaw go lax, but couldn't seem to locate the muscles that would close the gap between her lower and upper teeth. Jane expected a retort at her own flippant response, but this punched the air out of her gut without a single touch. Everything Maura said, was true. It had to be, because Maura was unable to lie. Jane's shock was frozen on her face, her shining brown eyes examining Maura. The peachy features weren't shocked, her serene look was one of content as she looked up at her expectantly, as if something was finally off of her chest and she needed some sort of reassurance. It wasn't a proclamation of love love- Maura could have said this weeks ago without a second thought from Jane. But even Jane, oblivious to all things involving the heart, could feel the crackle of electrons between them. There was no denying anymore, that something between them in the last forty-eight hours had changed or emerged. There was no denying the fact that their little game wasn't enough anymore. It was why she couldn't allow Frankie to have her, allow anyone to have her.
"Maura," It was all Jane could croak, but it was enough. Maura blinked in satisfaction, as if she knew something she said resonated deeper than it once may have. It clicked, and it was enough for now. It broke the moment, shone a bright flashing light on a perspective neither women were willing to tackle out in front of a place where they both worked.
Jane watched pink lips purse themselves in satisfaction as Maura's heels, a strappy number Jane couldn't identify if her life depended on it, clicked up the steps of the building. Jane was left alone in the wake of the knowledge, her head spinning, dodging the debris as what she had once known cracked around her.
Or.. had she always known? That, was the question.
Author: iDreamofLovex
Paring: Eventual Jane/Maura
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These Characters belong to Tess Gerritsen and TNT.
Summary: But what did you do, when the person you loved was unattainable?
You sleep in their bed. You accept their comfort. You revel in what time you have together, and you remind yourself daily that one day... It could all disappear.
A/N: Wow, like an ass, I forgot to post this to the community. My Chapters immediately go up on FanFiction .. And for some reason, I just totally forgot to post it here for you lovely people. D:
Anyway, I have Three and Four, which I will split into two posts!
Feel free to yell at me over twitter: @iDreamofLovex
It has been awhile since I last posted here, so here are Chapters One and Two!:
Chapter One The Call
Chapter Two The Scene
Maura:/
There was a zero percent possibility that Jane knew what Maura had been through that night, and that was something the Forensic Pathologist was certain of.
When she'd heard the knock, Maura had been expecting Jane. There had been a lot of tossing and turning before she had gotten the knock at the door, the moon high in the sky and the stars twinkling in the dark of the early morning through her bed room window. No one came knocking at her door at that time. There was no one in Maura's life that was welcome in her home at that hour, no one except for Jane. A mutual understanding had fallen between the two, seemingly by the first time they'd slid onto a bar stool for after work drinks: "I understand you, better than I understand me, better than most understand me." It was from that, that spurred their ever-blossoming friendship of mutual trust, mutual comfort, mutual companionship.
And for Maura Isles, lay the foundation for unrequited love. The truth of the matter was, Jane could come knocking at any time, day or night, because there wasn't a minute in the day that Maura didn't want to see Jane. When she had drawn back that door, there was no fighting the giddy feeling that came with the thoughts, riddled with the expectancy of spending the rest of the evening with Jane.
She got what she wished for, just not the way she had expected, nor would ever hope for. The image was likely forever embedded in her memory, or what her mind had pieced together when given the visual stimuli- Jane, dead. Maura could spot death from a mile away - she could practically smell it. There was no question that, with one tiny glimpse from horrified eyes, the heart deep within the chest had stopped. The sound of her own screams still reverberated in her eardrums. One look down at her front step, and a feral, animalistic cry of pain ripped her throat, tore her lungs, pierced her auditory nerve. It should have hurt but for the longest time, Maura had a problem recognizing who was making that awful sound... Even went as far as to have the police check her neighbor's house, check her grounds for someone else..
Maura had been alone. And with the tenderness of her throat, Maura identified the culprit as herself. Slowly she was able to piece together what had taken place after that, but the images were blurry, as if she were attempting to dredge up a nightmare from a tender age in her childhood. Faintly, she remember fingers shaking across the number pad, dialing Rizzoli's unit. Her frightened words sputtering out: "Possible officer down.". But more clearly, it's sharpness evident against the backdrop of ghostly recollection, was the sound of Jane's voice on the line when she answered: "Maura, what's up?" Maura scarcely remembered dialing her.
Everything beyond that point was brought to focus. It was a brief moment of insanity that Maura Isles never thought would plague her in a lifetime. Maura was too bright, too together, too different- But maybe not as different as everyone seemed to think. Jane tore her out of the mounting hysteria almost instantaneously, and she carried on the rest of the night like she normally would have- Except for one detail, minuscule to others but grandiose to a woman that spent more time with dead than the living- She didn't touch the body. She studied the grooves of the woman's cheek bones, her eyes sliding down the planes of her body and over ruffled work pants that were two sizes too large. She mentally tagged every difference between the dead woman and Jane, but Maura found that it didn't make a difference. The woman was meant to be Jane, and somewhere deep inside of Maura, couldn't handle that.
"Cause of death: Y-Incision. Autopsy confirmed that the cause of death was, in simple terms, an Autopsy."
"... after slicing through the stitches, we recovered photographs of you at previous crime scenes within various internal organs, housed in Ziploc bags."
"...A single rose, plucked out of her hair by Rizzoli herself... Dr. Isles...? We recovered a picture of Jane within her heart. The Boston P.D says their suspicions were confirmed, and they're doing what they can to find this guy."
How was one supposed to act, when faced with this sort of information? Maura felt violation crawl across her skin like maggots, she felt imposed on. But most of all.. Sick. Sick that someone was murdering victims, sick that it was done for her. It was normal to be afraid, but Maura couldn't find much fear. The only thing about the whole incident that had frightened her, was the body. And now that it wasn't Jane, everything else- The stalker, the investigation.. Everything paled in comparison. Of course, she relayed all of the information to Jane. Jane wouldn't stop until the story had been told, re-told, and told again- Straight from the beginning, up until the time she arrived. Sitting atop the stool in Jane's kitchen, they picked apart the details, reconnected them one by one. Their musings bonded a silent, unmentioned pact- To continue working this case, together, despite what Korsak or their superiors said. Of course, she excluded the dirty details from the relay. The memory of her scream was all hers.
These thoughts, Maura didn't dare bring to Jane's bed. Late noon sunlight streamed in through an uncurtained window, and Maura found herself admiring the way it reflected off her friend's soft calve muscle too much to allow the twisted events of the night before to shed even an ounce of darkness in on an image she adored. Instead, Maura thought back to the first time she realized her love for Jane Rizzoli...
The discovery in itself wasn't much of a shock. There had been several clues along the way, glaringly obvious but none in which Maura chose to see until the facts were laid out and the hypothesis was tested. There friendship had grown quickly, so quickly that Maura was able to brush aside her feelings as something strictly platonic- at first. That was until she realized how much easier it was to sleep with Jane around, and how Maura thrived off of their time together, looked forward to the moments when she would hear the boots click down the hallway after a long day of autopsies. Once aware, Maura could never delete the knowledge from her brain. She yearned to be close with Jane and never hid it, but never came out with it either- That was how they operated. There were times in which Maura, wearing a low cut top, would catch Jane's wandering eyes.. Or times when their togetherness flirted dangerously between the boundaries of friends and something more.
Maura was certain that Jane was oblivious- at least consciously. So what did she do? She further confused her. She planted hints like landmines, and when Jane trampled ever-so-closely near, she would throw a blind date Jane's way, or discuss their mutual lack of love-lives- Each dating men, each of them finding something wrong with the men. Maura was guilty of this, more so than Jane. But what did you do, when the person you loved was unattainable?
You sleep in their bed. You accept their comfort. You revel in what time you have together, and you remind yourself daily that one day... It could all disappear. After the night before, after realizing just how close this all came to actually disappearing.. It wasn't clear to Maura how much longer she could hold out with her knowledge. She wanted Jane to know, but Jane knowing anything.. It laid the potential for Maura to lose her. And that.. That she couldn't bare.
The mattress tilted, as Jane kicked another toned leg out from underneath the sheets, Maura unabashedly savoring the last bit of peace on her face, as the serenity of sleep began to melt away. Through out all of her stirrings, Maura was thankful of one simple little gesture that hadn't changed among Jane's shifting. It was better than the sight of the woman next to her.. The feel of her arm, draped loosely across the small of her back. Maura watched as Jane's face scrunched, warning her that she had only seconds to gather up the thoughts and secure them away tightly. Nanoseconds before they would have to take their positions, and zero the scoreboard. The buzzer sounded, as long eyelashes fluttered apart, chocolate eyes blinking to life. Like honey, slow and thick, the rosy lips Maura longed for smiled in an emotion and manner Maura could never pin-point, but often saw in the mornings after Jane hid out in her home. Somehow, Maura knew it was a smile only she would see. And somehow, Maura knew that if she didn't want to lose this- All of this, they would have to begin their daily games. It was the only game Maura would ever be familiar with playing.
"Is this your way of saying you're attracted to me?"
Jane:/
"Of course." Jane smirked into her pillow, eyes alight with mischief. For a moment, the night before was obsolete. Of course, it had also taken Jane a little while to figure out what Maura had even been talking about. After a night full of nightmares, Jane awoke to just about the only face she would ever want to see after the fitful rest. So, it sounded a bit gay of her, especially after Maura's comment, but it was the truth- Waking up to Maura was ten times better than waking up to a guy after a so-so date. Jane woke up on her side facing Maura, who lay neutrally on her stomach, her head nestled on the pillow but turned in her direction. Jane had to blink a few times to work up the sight to see that her arm was still draped across her friend's back. Jane had only assumed that it would have fallen away some time during the night, but apparently, the fit had been too perfect. "Actually, it seemed to be the only thing that kept you still. You okay?"
Joe Friday could really kick in his sleep, but couldn't hold a candle to Maura. She thrashed, whatever pain her friend had been haunted with, the source of the shadows in her eyes that Jane had attempted to chase away in vain, all came out in her sleep. Hissing 'Maura... Maura!' Only temporarily calmed the quell until Jane, exasperated and concerned, threw an arm around the trembling frame. It was enough to calm her for the night, but as Jane peered into the open eyes, she couldn't tell what it did for her now. Jane's head arched with the question, her nimble fingers automatically smoothing the silk of Maura's pajama top against her back, before letting her arm droop and fill the narrow space of bed between them.
"Oddly refreshed," There was no mistaking the humor that lit Maura's eyes, the devilish smirk that laced her lips. Overnight it seemed, Maura had re-discovered her sense of humor, to Jane's surprise- and gratitude. Watching her friend carry herself through the turmoil of the night before had struck Jane somewhere more deeply than she had ever anticipated.
Jane shifted, laying her stomach flat upon the mattress and raising herself up on her elbows. "Was that sarcasm, Dr. Isles?"
With the change in pace, Maura rolled on to her side, a subtle smirk painting her features. "Maybe a little," she managed, before the sweetest sound, a throaty laugh escaped her lips. Jane found her own smile to be oddly involuntary as her eyes grazed over her friend. Her actions around Maura in general seemed to be oddly involuntary.. As of lately. The source of the reasons Jane couldn't pinpoint, yet didn't think too widely about. She wasn't sure, but she could ask Maura if this was a normal response to trauma. Not that their trauma had even been remotely normal.
What was normal, anyway? Jane's eyes flickered down to Maura's hands, where she watched the woman trace patterns into her bed sheets. It was the simplest things, gestures like that, that made the breath catch in Jane's throat for reasons unknown to the homicide detective. Was this normal? Maybe.. Maybe it was almost losing it all that-
"Jane.. Thank you. Thank you for coming when I called.. Thank you for taking me in.. This whole situation, I just don't think it's going to get any easier-" The words, words had caught Jane off-guard, watching Maura's fingers delve across white sheets sending her into a state of trance.
"Hey, how many times have you been there for me when I needed you? A lot. Besides.. I don't trust anyone else to stay with you." That, and the fact that she would never openly admit that she hadn't wanted Maura out of her sight. And, with the playfulness in the air gone, she also didn't trust herself to not stay in bed all day if she didn't get up now. Jane kicked the sheets off of her legs in resolution, peeling her toned abdominal muscles away from the bed, peeling herself away from Maura. The slightest distance was already clearing her head, as Jane padded across the floor toward the bedroom door. It had to be the lack of decent sleep, and the large lack of decent caffeine.. Because what else could befuddle her thoughts, when they had a psychotic stalker on their hands? Jane turned the cool metal knob and drew back the door expectantly and sure enough-
A tornado of fur and hair yipped happily, pouncing on her legs for a quick head rub. It was the distraction she needed. Jane bent to extend her hand out to Joe Friday, but was no match for the speed of the dog, who excitedly ran in circles before launching head-first into the sea of sheets and pillows, showering an unsuspecting but laughing Maura with kisses. "You know," Maura began, holding Joe Friday steady to ward off the attacks, "Dogs have cleaner mouths than human beings?" Maura laughed, scooping the ball of fur up and setting him on her lap.
"Right. I've seen where his mouth has been and let me tell you-" Jane began, de-rooting herself from merely viewing in the doorway as she crossed the space to her wardrobe where she would pretend to put a little thought into her outfit, when she was cut off by two, terrified words, gasped from the bed behind her "Oh! Bass!" The horrified look that Jane watched constrict Maura's face almost sent Jane into a fit of giggles herself.
"Already taken care of. Frankie is going over a few times a day to feed him those... Brazilian strawberries he likes so much.. Not exactly the detail job he was looking for, but he's not complaining." Jane informed, fingers trailing through an array of average shirts.
"Who- Bass, or Frankie? Bass can be quite.. picky. Also, they're British, Jane. And yes, there is a difference." Jane stuck her tongue out, back to her childhood roots, receiving a look from Maura that said exactly that.
Fine, then. Jane turned her back on Maura again, to survey her wardrobe. Drab in comparison to the array she had seen in Maura's closet the night before, a patchwork of fine silk and expensive cashmere. They were different, that was certain; While Maura worried about the stitching and quality of the fabric.. Jane made sure not to wear the same thing more than once. It was even more of a plus if it actually matched.
Not that Jane spent a lot of time considering wardrobe matters, but she had the excuse to idly choose whatever, a shrill noise cutting over Joe Friday's happy pants due to Maura's belly rubs. Specific ring tone identified. Caller: Ma. Jane groaned. Slowly she turned, her cell phone in a conniption fit of lights, vibrations, and show tunes on her bedside table. Maybe if she waited.. She could let the call go to voice mail..
Maura looked up to Jane, and grinned evilly. Maura knew what that song meant. Likewise, Jane knew what that look meant. For someone who wasn't used to being in the presence in the living, she seemed to know more about Jane than was comfortable, despite her claims that Jane was too 'complex'. Often, Jane suspected she took a scalpel to her head at night, and examined the spheres of her brain one by one.
Maura's eyes didn't leave her, nor did the wicked smile diminish when a perfectly sculpted arm slithered out of her lap, extending over to the table. Jane glared, daring her with a searing look- 'Don't you dare, Maura.. Don't you..'
Flip. Click. The dark plastic sailed from the bed in an arc straight to Jane's hands. The athlete in her had no choice but to grab it out of the air, shooting daggers Maura's way. Angela Rizzoli always had an odd way of knowing everything about her daughter's life.. And Jane was not about to get into these questions. She could already hear her mother- "See Jane? Even MAURA has a stalker. Maura! Who spends less time on the field than you.." The seconds ticked before Jane pushed the plastic to her ear- There was no avoiding Angela Rizzoli. Like a band-aid, you had to rip it off fast.
"Hey Ma- No, I don't think I can come over- He told you what? Remind me to kill Frankie- I know it's gnocchi night but-" Mid-sentence, Maura leaped to her knees on the bed, and situated herself to perch on them in front of Jane. Jane only spared her a single look, translating bits of her mother's ranting speech, Maura occupying her other ear. Really, she just wanted to get out of Family Dinner Night to focus on the case, or spare Maura from her mother's limelight, now that Frankie had apparently let the cat out of the bag.
"Jane, I love gnocchi."
Jane covered the mouth piece with her palm. No gnocchi was worth this. Not even her family's recipe. "It's not about the gnocchi, it's about the people serving-" she tried explaining.
Rapid fire whining in her left ear, "Yeah, Ma, I'm still here!" Jane assured her, only to be chided on phone etiquette, berated for the hundredth time on her line of work.
In her right ear, Maura piped up, though Jane's eyes remained neutrally transfixed at her own feet. "I love the people serving the gnocchi in question."
She.. What? Jane's palm smashed down on the mouth piece once more, her head perked to the side in questioning gesture. "You really want to go over there?" Maura knew how her family could be. Why the Forensic Pathologist would subject herself to such intrusion was beyond her.
"..Yes, I do." Maura said, solidifying her response with a nod.
Jane groaned, again. Maura smiled innocently from the bed, as if she wasn't the cause behind today's misfortunes. It was a face Jane could not deny. Given what Maura had been through, was going through.. She probably needed the distraction. Her lips pursed quickly, decision made.
"Alright Ma, Maura and I will be over later for gnocchi."
Not even the Rizzoli Family Gnocchi was worth this.
"Maura, we're glad to have you. And maybe you can talk some sense into Jane. Isn't it time she starts bringing some potential husbands around? I want grand kids, you know." There was a certain whine to her mother's voice that Jane could not stand, especially when the particular whine was navigated towards pointing out her lack of a husband and children. This was, of course, after getting an earful about the dangers of her job, and an interrogation to Maura on why she didn't choose to do something safer with her medical degree, like pediatrics. Maura handling children was possibly more laughable than Maura handling live patients, but Jane decided to keep that one to herself.
"You don't have to answer that." Who was she kidding? She was certain Maura was fully enjoying this, now that the topic was off the case and on to one of Maura's favorite subjects. How many times had the Medical Examiner set her up on bad dates?
The large ceramic bowl filled with baked gnocchi finally made it's way to her open hands across the square table. With word on Maura attending the dinner, Jane's mother had really went all out, and it was clear that against Maura's posh lifestyle, her mother was trying to impress. Soft candle light flickered from centerpiece candles, the hot red wax already dripping down the glass holders with the start of dinner. Steam rolled off the abundant slices of garlic bread, situated evenly between her family and Maura. It would be a shame to ruin such a sight, the chandeliers hovering on dim above their heads, accenting the red cloth napkins in their laps to match the red wine in their glasses.. Unfortunately, Jane had some brother-killing to do, and fine china wouldn't stand in her way.
With the Rizzoli china, Jane spooned a large helping of gnocchi on to her plate, and set the bowl in the middle. "Oh, well.. Jane is still very young, Mrs. Rizzoli. She still has a few prime years to produce grandchildren before her chances of risk increase." Jane spied a playful glint in Maura's eyes, grinding her teeth in response to it.
"But don't you think it would be good for her to date more. I mean, you date, don't you? Wouldn't you agree that it's normal for women your age?" Her mother dotted the end of her words in the air with her fork, on the same sad mission that she never tired of. Jane regarded the exchange quietly. Perhaps if she avoided it, it would blow over.
Maura was clearly into it. "I suppose for single women it is normal to date at this age... I've had a few dates this month myself. Jane is particularly difficult to find dates for." Could she sense.. Manipulation? Maura's eyes shifted innocently to meet her's. Oh yes, Manipulation. She was finding humor in this.
Her mother ate it up between fork fulls of gnocchi. "See Jane- Even Dr. Isles finds time to date! And I'm sure things are getting serious now." Her eyes left Jane and zeroed in on Maura expectantly, her fork still above her plate. Still expecting to pride Maura as an example, but the victories shifted. Maura dumped every guy she ever tried to date for one reason or another. Jane forked a gnocchi for the first time, her eyes shifting between her mother and Maura. She could not miss this.
"Oh- No," Maura laughed, Jane watching as her thoughts reflected back on the date briefly, "He had Androgenic alopecia." The humor was lost on the Rizzoli family, as Maura shook her head and chuckled to herself. Jane swallowed a laugh at her mother, who stared blankly at Maura. Frank, who cut his pasta in half with his fork, as if he understood the ailment or the inner workings of Maura's mind.. And her father, who clearly stopped paying attention at 'Angrogenic'. Jane had a leg up on the knowledge, having heard the story long before they. Sensing the silence that had befallen the table, Maura raised her eyes from the pasta, to meet the incredulous look from across the table.
"... Male patterned baldness." It was Jane's turn to chuckle into her gnocchi. How could Maura know that her mother didn't pride the picky?
A charged silence fell across the table, Angela's eyes locked on Maura. Jane could see from across the table, Frankie was swallowing the same laugh. Maura was in trouble. When one was invited to Rizzoli Family Dinner, one was welcomed into the family. Unfortunately for Maura, it meant that she would be treated not as an Isles, but as a Rizzoli. Maura's in trouble, Maura's in trouble. Na-na-na-na-boo-boo. Why did family dinners bring forth her five-year-old attitude?
Slowly, Maura's face rose from her plate, sensing the sensitivity of the situation. Jane pressed her lips tightly together simultaneously with the locking of her mother's jaw, her eyes flipping back from the stony glance of a mother let down, to the deer-in-the-headlights Maura. "Besides, Jane doesn't really like my attempts to fix her up." Foiled again, just when the conversation was deviating from her. But not so fast, Isles. Unbeknownst to Maura, the damage had already been done.
The laugh Jane had been biting back sprang from her mouth full force, her mother's eyes narrowed in preparation. "Jane!" Maura hissed, but Jane swayed back and forth in her seat, Frankie quipping from across the table, but not daring.
"Eat! Both of you!" Angela forked at the pasta menacingly. Laughter halted. The simple command sent the forks sailing down onto the unsuspecting pasta, each woman sharing looks of total and sudden concentration on their dinners. "Jeeze. Carrying on as if there aren't any good men left in Boston.. Male-patterned baldness, my god.." Angela grumbled, clearly distraught.
Seconds ticked by slowly, only the sounds of fork to plate to be heard, no one brave enough to look up from their plate until one courageous soul stepped forward. "So... uh.. Anyone up for some baseball?" Frankie provided the escape, so Frankie was also off of her shit list from revealing what had taken place the night before.. Maybe. Instantly, a trio of chairs pushed back from the square table Jane muttering, "Oh, me." Maura aiding with a, "I could use some practice on my form," each eager to evade the tension in a scramble towards the dining room door.
Jane bee-lined after Frankie, Maura hot on their heels as they ignored protests of 'Hey!' chasing out from the dining room and through the home she'd done a lot of growing up in. Foot falls quickened at the appearance of the back door, and faintly Jane could hear the scraping of chairs in the dining room. They had seconds. Frankie slammed open the door and they shot out the back door in a line, emerging on to the green and brown speckled grass of their backyard. The scene was reminiscent of Jane's childhood. Shrill, tight dinner, then she and Frankie would run off and get into some trouble in the backyard. Only now, it was better with Maura, and with the absence of little Joseph down the block teasing them from the street.
Home free. Chocolate orbs roamed the grass before honing in on the long metal of the abandoned bat. Jogging over, her mind filled with thoughts of optimism. It was fully possible with a Rizzoli lesson, that Maura could be good enough to play in the big leagues- Or, rather, the department baseball games-
Home free? Home not.
"Jane, you better get in here and help me with these dishes. They don't do themselves you know!'
"Aw, Ma!'
Jane was elbow-deep in soap suds when she first heard it, indicator to a scene she did not want to see. "Jane, don't you think they look good together?"
Jane regarded the sight out of the kitchen window, but could not agree. The sun set across the back drop of the wooden fence, painting the sky with bright yellows and orange. Her mother, stars in her eyes as she gripped the drying cloth was not referring to nature's beauty, but something of a different kind.
Jane had idly viewed Frankie and Maura switching bats while soaping up the dishes, watching throw after throw while she slaved away. Eventually she grew bored, and shifted her attention on her task. In doing so, she let the competition creep in.
Competition. It was the first word that popped into her head when her dark eyes flickered up to the window, to see Frankie and Maura intertwined into what would look like a back to front embrace, if the metal of the bat wasn't lofted in the air. Maura nestled in the inside, Frankie's hand bracing her lower stomach and holding her hips into place in the 'proper' batting stance. His arms laced out over her's, guiding her arms into a batting stance.
Jane's face grew hot, a flint of jealousy sparking an ember within her. "No!" The sharpness in Jane's voice shocked her but she couldn't bring herself to correct herself. They didn't look good together. Jane didn't dare entertain the thoughts of Maura and Frankie because it could never happen- She would never let it happen. All the while, she should be out there helping Maura, not her brother. The jealousy, rolling fierce in the pit of her stomach.. Jane didn't care about the baseball. It was the proximity that bothered her. The closeness of her brother to her friend- Her Maura. Her Maura.
Jane hadn't realized that her actions had frozen until a plate slipped between her fingers and splashed into the sink, spraying her black top with soap suds. Her eyes not straying from the scene, she wiped her arm across the front of her top, only further dampening it. She paid her shirt no mind, and shook the remaining droplets from her hands.
Without warning, Jane spun around in her tracks, stampeding out of the back door. She couldn't be sure if her mother had attempted to put a stop to her, only aware of what she had to put a stop to herself. Why was not the question, it was how.
Fire flared and blood boiled, catching remnants of giggles in the air. Baring similarities to a hot-headed child, Jane stomped across the grass, water boiling an spilling over.
"What is that? How do you expect her to hit anything when you have her positioned like that?" Satisfaction set in when they jumped apart, seemingly unaware of Jane until she came up behind them, surprise in their eyes and laced in their expressions.
The rage was ever-present in her voice, anger was not something Jane was ever able to mask eloquently. A baffled Frankie kicked the bat against his foot, his face revealing that he was unaware of where all of this was coming from. Playing innocent, huh? "Come on Jane, it's the same stance you girls always do."
Jane would pick at anything for an excuse to cover up. Hide behind half-truths, erase jealousy and fill in a feminist approach. "You girls!? You show her the wrong way because she's a girl. What is this, the fifties?" Hotly, Jane crossed her arms, realizing how she sounded but unable to halt her mouth. Halt the stabbing feeling in her chest at the thought of Maura with Frankie.
She felt a gentle touch at the side of her elbow, but shook it off. Just by the sound of her voice, Jane could see a mental image of Maura's face, eyes rounded in surprise. She didn't dare look over. "Jane, don't you think you're-"
Frankie balked, stepping back as if to visually show he was backing down. He could even sense Jane was acting irrationally. Jane knew she was acting irrationally, but she couldn't stop it. This, she would never compromise. "She needed help, I gave it to her. That's it." Frankie's tone was final, treading near a 'girl issue' he didn't quite understand, but not wishing to become part of it- or fall victim to it.
Her sudden whirlwind, it caught up to her. She really had stormed the grounds because her brother was.. What? Showing Maura how to play baseball? Jane felt a new kind of heat simmer across her forehead, and that, was a little thing called embarrassment. "Yeah, well, it's not needed anymore." Looking anyone in the eye was not an option at this point, so Jane took a particular interest in kicking a blade of grass that was slightly longer than the rest with the toe of her sneaker.
The crickets sounded. The bat fell to the ground with a metallic 'clank', the only sound following as Frankie retreated back across the grass, confusion evident.
Jane's form remained still. Why did she get herself into this? What was she trying to prove? Why did it bother her so much? The back door slammed shut, breaking the silence.
"Jane," Maura began, but for the second time that day, Jane's cell phone cut through the night.
"I've gotta get this." Really, she had to avoid Maura's X-Ray eyes. Her dissection fingers.
Willingly this time around, Jane drew the phone out of her pocket, flipping it on. The ringtone indicated Frost. Indicated the fact that she would now be allowed to emerge herself in the case, instead of questioning her own motivations. At least she understood the case, even when she didn't. "Rizzoli. No, it's fine- What!... Oh god, okay. We're headed there now."
"Maura? We've gotta go."
The air seemed to be charged with danger. Two bodies discovered, all baring similarities with the first- Death by autopsy. The frustration Jane felt was deep-pitted; the killer was growing more bold.
"Two bodies discovered. One outside of the Medical Examiner's building, the other outside of your apartment building, Jane."
They swirled up the walk of the Boston Police Department, permanently banned from Jane's apartment for the time being, their presence demanded in lieu of the recent events. Frost promised presents in the form of the photographs extracted from the bodies, right after she forced him to admit that he needed her.
"What was that back there?" Maura demanded, stopping in her tracks as some sort of indication that Jane should stop, too. Crazy wouldn't stop while they were having this conversation, one that Jane wished to avoid, but nonetheless, the man haunting Maura was still out there... Still fighting for her. Why Maura couldn't see that, Jane couldn't understand. This matter was trivial, this matter didn't throw a man behind bars, so why did it hold so much importance to her?
Jane halted reluctantly to appease her, her foot planted on the first of the stone steps that would lead to a quick escape inside if she needed one. Rigid was also Jane's posture, as she turned her head back to Maura, who hadn't moved behind her. She wouldn't let this go.
"Nothing.. He was just.. Showing you the wrong way." Well, that was true, but even on her own ears, it didn't sound the least bit convincing. Jane chewed on her bottom lip, wishing this would all just go away. Okay, so she overreacted. That wasn't something that was different or shocking.
"I'm known to be a terrible liar Jane, but you're not always convincing.." Maura's no-nonsense look told Jane this was not going to be easy.
"Fine. I... I-uh, I don't want you dating my brother." There. She said it. Or had she? Jane watched as the bomb was dropped. She expected confusion, and that was just what Jane got. Maura moved out from behind her to stand next to her, as if the proximity would allow her entry to Jane's mind.
"I don't quite understand. Frankie is nice man, he's my best friend's brother.. Forgive me if I don't see the problem here."
"It's just... Weird, is all." Jane crossed her arms, uncertainty creeping over her skin. Maura could sense it, smell it on her, Jane was certain.
Her eyes bore into Jane's, unrelenting. A flicker of uncertainty masked within the hard stare. "Is that all? Is that the only reason you don't want me dating your brother?" Maura's arms crossed solidly, her eyes searching.
Was it? "Yes!" Jane nodded her head, so sure. So.. Not sure? Why didn't she want to see Maura with Frankie? Because Frankie could never be good enough. Garret could never be good enough. The Yoga Instructor could never be good enough. Jane could never-
"No.." Unease filled her as a response to the way her stomach had sank. Jane could never be good enough. How easily she had placed herself in the running. So easily it had slipped into her mind, the weight of the statement heavy on her mind, her lungs, her everything.
"I don't know.. Maura!" Jane resisted the urge to stamp her foot, her eyes pleading. Everything pleaded within her just to drop it. Jane had once thought she knew herself, inside and out. Her motivations, why she loved her job so much, why she chose to be single.. She couldn't face the possibility that she was wrong, that she was hiding something from herself. If she didn't know herself, how could she suspect to get into the mind of a killer? She couldn't. She couldn't do her job. "Why aren't you more worried about the two murders that are clearly committed for you. You're at risk, and we're discussing why I don't want you to date Frankie?"
"Because Jane, I'm here with you. Why should I worry?" Blond tresses shook as if to indicate that she really didn't grasp the fact that a mad serial killer had a thing for her.
Jane's eyebrows flickered upward, her eyes rolling. "Gee, Maura, maybe because he found my apartment?"
Maura sighed. "It's not all about logic sadly, as I have come to discover. You'll keep me safe, in the same way that I kept you safe when Hoyt escaped. You didn't go to Frost, to Korsak, your mother. You came to me because you knew I'd never let anything happen to you, just like I know you'll never let anything happen to me. Just like I knew when Detective Leahy held me at gun point. Just like I will always know. You love me, Jane. Just as I love you."
And just like that, Jane knew. The breath caught in Jane's throat, her mind frozen but whirling at a speed Joe Friday couldn't muster. She could feel her jaw go lax, but couldn't seem to locate the muscles that would close the gap between her lower and upper teeth. Jane expected a retort at her own flippant response, but this punched the air out of her gut without a single touch. Everything Maura said, was true. It had to be, because Maura was unable to lie. Jane's shock was frozen on her face, her shining brown eyes examining Maura. The peachy features weren't shocked, her serene look was one of content as she looked up at her expectantly, as if something was finally off of her chest and she needed some sort of reassurance. It wasn't a proclamation of love love- Maura could have said this weeks ago without a second thought from Jane. But even Jane, oblivious to all things involving the heart, could feel the crackle of electrons between them. There was no denying anymore, that something between them in the last forty-eight hours had changed or emerged. There was no denying the fact that their little game wasn't enough anymore. It was why she couldn't allow Frankie to have her, allow anyone to have her.
"Maura," It was all Jane could croak, but it was enough. Maura blinked in satisfaction, as if she knew something she said resonated deeper than it once may have. It clicked, and it was enough for now. It broke the moment, shone a bright flashing light on a perspective neither women were willing to tackle out in front of a place where they both worked.
Jane watched pink lips purse themselves in satisfaction as Maura's heels, a strappy number Jane couldn't identify if her life depended on it, clicked up the steps of the building. Jane was left alone in the wake of the knowledge, her head spinning, dodging the debris as what she had once known cracked around her.
Or.. had she always known? That, was the question.