Cut!

[jan_event]

I've been thinking about brevity a lot lately. Brevity in writing, writing for impact. I've always been fairly sparse with my writing, something I've constantly struggled with ("more descriptions, please"), but lately I've been paying this a lot more attention. Partly because I'm working on a project with a friend who leans in the opposite

Comments

[pdeathfaerie]

Arggghhh...my stupid puter only has an old version of word...and it can't read them! : /

So I can't read them either! :(

Damn microsoft to hell.

[emmamushroom]

i thought both were really good. personally i prefer the first version, it's an inner monologue right so the descriptive parts can be quite brief, like the half-cold half-warm thing, that's how you think when you're not thinking about thinking. both are evocative and emotive, don't think you have to lose the brevity, it's a bit like slam slam slam, the other one's more ponderous. i REALLY like how he barks at a family and runs on all fours. awesome.

[emmamushroom]

is the character a werewolf of some kind? (that would be cool) or is the barking just simile? (equally cool) but if the character is a werewolf, or has some characteristics of one or something, then the half-warm half-cold is kind of a thought provoking metaphor

[emmamushroom]

or even if he feels half warm half cold towards his girlfriend. it reminds me of the idea about understanding/accepting irony as the human capacity of having contradictory beliefs thoughts or ideas without going mad