Cut!
I've been thinking about brevity a lot lately. Brevity in writing, writing for impact. I've always been fairly sparse with my writing, something I've constantly struggled with ("more descriptions, please"), but lately I've been paying this a lot more attention. Partly because I'm working on a project with a friend who leans in the opposite direction and we've been having excellent conversations about the structure of our piece.
I thought I would post on here links to two versions of the same piece of writing. It's the start of a longer piece and the first version is just that, the first draft; the second version is a rewrite from a few days later. Please feel free to download, comment and ask questions. I'm especially interested in comments regarding something you liked in the first version that's been excised in the second - would be interesting to discuss why I cut it and why you felt I shouldn't have.
First draft here.
Rewrite here.
I thought I would post on here links to two versions of the same piece of writing. It's the start of a longer piece and the first version is just that, the first draft; the second version is a rewrite from a few days later. Please feel free to download, comment and ask questions. I'm especially interested in comments regarding something you liked in the first version that's been excised in the second - would be interesting to discuss why I cut it and why you felt I shouldn't have.
First draft here.
Rewrite here.