deathboy - This is definitely one for you:

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I HAS A DRIVING LICENSE!

I know this is the sort of thing people are supposed to announce excitedly at the age of 17 or so, but having moved to Europe's most congested city 10 years ago I never really felt the need.

Wahey, I'm a proper grownup!

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How do you tell someone "No, your band is completely shit and will never get a booking at my night." but do it nicely?

I mean, in most circumstances I'd just say it, but in some cases delicacy is required. I struggle with this!

Can we get a "Fuck The Pope"?

Up in this bitch.

I might just have been invited to become a regular contributor of articles to Time Out.

Maybe, perhaps.

Just saying.

Yes, I sold out. I sold the fuck out!

Remember my rant about Create bikes?*

Looks like they're doing some firefighting.

*You probably don't†, but couldn't you just humour me?
†You've probably all died and gone to Facebook