Today's Check-In (Monday): I'll Take Shallow, Thank You

[jadxia]

Went out drinking last night and ran into Trouble, who was just getting back (drunk) from KT's memorial. That was fun. *ahem

Comments

[anonymous]

I have been reading your posts and I see strengths and things in you that you dont see.......you say you dont feel.......no empathy but I think quite the opposite.........you feel so much you cant handle it.........so it shuts down........I dont know what happened to you..........I do know who we are goes back to what happens to us as children.....and how we react as adults to anything in life is connected to those events. Under the anger.......is hurt..........and under the hurt.........is what what happened..the truth. No negative thoughts.....only positive girl.....karma rocks. Past is gone....cant change it......accept it for what it was.......lay it down......and walk on. Sounds easy........great advice.....not. Hard as hell........up this hill and down. We all walk our hills and valleys........we all have our burdens.........but I think you are walking tall.......perfect scores? nawww........but who of us is perfect. The thing about suicide is it dont just affect the person making the choice. My husband committed

[jadxia]

Darn, I knew I wasn't clear enough when I wrote that, because we are kind of saying the same things from two different angles. It's not that I don't have pain, I have MASSIVE trauma, it's just that I don't feel empathy for NEW kinds of pain, because all that space is taken up by the old pain I already had. New traumas just don't affect me like they should, and that is PTSD. Does that make sense to you? Some things are just harder to express in words and this is one of them

[jadxia]

And thank you, for your kind words. :D