Treading (1/?)- Queer as Folk- R
TITLE: Treading (1/?)
AUTHOR: trickster_
FANDOM: Queer as Folk US
DISCLAIMER: They are all owned by Cowlip and Showtime and not me.
SUMMARY: You can go home again, but that doesn't mean it's easy.
RATING: Overall, R. This part: PG-13 (language)
CATEGORY: Drama
SPOILERS: Post 513
Things always looked different when you came home after time away. A busy new store had replaced a once-empty building decorated with signs advertising the realtor selling the space. Billboards on the way in advertised clubs and products and local news shows that weren't familiar. The people seemed to walk differently than memory recalled. They talked differently. Dressed differently. It's easy to think that they were always like this and it'd been easy to miss while living here, but Justin knew better. Things had changed without him.
The only times it seemed that Justin rode as a passenger in his mom's car anymore was when they were coming back from the airport or bus station, or headed back there. It had been standard routine, but for some reason this time it made him feel about ten years old. Maybe it was because there wouldn't be a return trip.
Finally breaking the silence that had followed them from the bus station, Jennifer asked, "Do you want to stop anywhere?"
He wasn't about to let his mommy drop him off somewhere, so Justin shook his head. "Not now," he said. "I'm tired and I couldn't finish my work on the trip."
"Okay. Just... Debbie's been asking about you lately. It might be a good idea to go see her when you get a chance."
"I will. And I'm completely expecting to get torn a new one when I see her," Justin said with a little smile. He knew Debbie wouldn't actually yell at him. He might get a little lecture about not calling as much as he was required to, and then she'd proceed to hug the life out of him.
"Just as long as you're prepared," Jennifer said with a quick little smile. "Listen, Justin... I am really sorry it didn't work out."
He shrugged, turning his face again towards the window. "It's okay. Somehow I'll survive."
Justin's bedroom for the time being was going to have to be the living room, which wasn't a big deal. In his more desperate attempts at finding somewhere decent to live, he'd had to make the common area his home before. He wasn't used to doing that in his mother's apartment, but Molly had her own room and he wasn't about to kick anyone out. It meant having to live out of the bags dumped beside the sofa and spreading his work out on the coffee table and having to deal with interruptions like the phone, which seemed to ring every hour on the hour and was always for Molly.
It was past eleven before Justin actually got time alone to work, and then he didn't have the inspiration. Not that the living room of his mother's little apartment would provide him with much. He crashed on the sofa after a couple meaningless hours of staring blankly at boring, half-finished sketches, only to wake up to the sounds of Jennifer getting ready for work.
"Do you need to go anywhere?" she offered again before leaving.
Biting back his first response, a response Jennifer hadn't earned, Justin shook his head. "I'm fine. Thanks."
He watched her leave, and stretched out on the sofa. He knew this was ridiculous. He'd been out of the house since he was a teenager. He hadn't felt the need to answer to anyone. He could go where he wanted to go and do what he wanted to do. And while he probably could get away with that now, he felt stifled just being here again.
Molly was out early, which left Justin alone. He might have appreciated it, except that years in New York had made stunning amount of noise commonplace. He was used to sirens and traffic and voices in the halls of his apartment buildings. He wasn't sure if he knew how to work in silence anymore. This was too quiet. Lonely.
Justin decided that he was determined to be pissed off and crabby, and he didn't actually want that.
*****
He walked slowly down Liberty Avenue, which didn't seem as flashy as he remembered, though New York may have tainted his view a bit. Most of the places were still there, though the day spa between the porn shop and the tattoo parlor was a new sight.
The diner, however, was completely unchanged. It looked the same, it felt the same, and the clientele was even more or less the same. He recognized a couple people, and one kid whose name Justin couldn't remember actually said hi, though to be honest, the kid probably didn't know Justin's name, either.
And there was Debbie, handing plates of food to the customers at a table. Justin couldn't resist scaring her a little, standing directly behind her and saying, "Hi, Deb."
She jumped, turned her head to see who the asshole was, and just about squealed when she saw him. "Sunshine!" she cried, and shoved the tray into the hands of one of the customers in order to pull Justin into a rib-cracking hug. Then she pulled back and demanded, "Why the fuck haven't you called?"
"I've been busy," Justin said, though that was the exact opposite of the truth. In reality, he'd been so very not busy that his phone had been turned off three months ago.
"What are you doing here?" Debbie asked, grinning widely. She seemed more pleased by the second at seeing him. "How long are you in town for?"
"Um. Permanently, I think."
The smiled immediately vanished, replaced by a familiar expression of motherly concern that she had perfected long before Justin ever met her. "What happened to New York?"
"Didn't work out." He didn't want to get into the details right now. It was too long a story and they were around too many people and he was really not in search of pity.
"Oh. Well," Debbie said, and hugged him again, "I'm not gonna say I'm sorry to see you here." She took the tray back from the irritated-looking patron, then headed back behind the counter. Justin followed, taking a seat on one of the stools. "So what'll it be?" Debbie asked him.
"I really don't have time to eat," Justin said. "I left a ton of work to do. I just needed to get out for a little while."
"Then you have time for lunch," she insisted. "So. What'll it be?"
*****
"I told you to shove it up his ass and I meant to shove it up his ass."
Ted made a face, nearly tripping over the curb when he looked over at Brian. "I wasn't planning on going anywhere near his ass. It's so big I'd probably get lost."
Brian shook his head, trying to fight down the annoyance at the whole situation. The annoyance wasn't actually at Ted, but letting him know that would be something akin to giving away a Brian Kinney trade secret, and he couldn't have that. "Listen to me, Theodore," he said sharply, "we're there to serve the client. We do not allow them to fuck us. You let a client take advantage of you and you open the door for them to do it again."
"I get that. But I'm still not going anywhere near his ass."
"You're killing me."
Ted nodded. "Yeah. Am I fired again?"
"You're always fired. It's easier that way."
Brian grabbed onto the bar on the door to open it, except someone was pushing it open from the other side. Brian heard "Sorry," only he recognized the voice, and he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw who it was.
"Oh my God," Justin greeted him, looking happily surprised. "Hi."
Brian's brain, still mentally in distress due to a late night and a morning full of clients who could probably benefit from the fun involved in a late night, stalled at, "You're back."
"Yeah," Justin said. He looked good. He really did. The hair was a little longer, the face looked only the tiniest bit older because Justin would probably still get carded at forty, but he still looked like Justin. There was something slightly different about him, the way he carried himself, maybe, but Brian couldn't put his finger on what it was.
Justin let his eyes flick to Ted once before actually tearing his gaze away from Brian. "Hi, Ted."
"Justin! It's good to see you," Ted said, giving him a hug hello. He looked between the two of them, smiled uncomfortably and said, "Oh, look. Busy lunch hour. I'll grab us a seat." He touched Justin's shoulder, then headed inside quickly.
"I, um..." Justin paused, looking at a total loss. He was just as shocked by this as Brian was, though he had to have expected that they'd see each other eventually. Brian hadn't had that luxury. "How've you been?"
"Good. No one told me you were in town," Brian managed, and it was fucking idiotic that he had to manage to say anything. And if someone had known Justin was in town, Brian was going to have to kick their ass for putting him in the position to be so thrown.
"No one really knew. It was a spur of the moment thing."
"Everything okay?"
Justin nodded. "Yeah. Everything's fine. No one died or anything. I'm just home."
There was something about the way he said it that prodded Brian to ask, "Permanently?"
Slowly, Justin nodded again. "Yeah."
Brian wasn't sure how to classify that feeling deep in his stomach other than stupid. He was past this sort of thing. Too old for it. Whatever. Yet the first appropriate question that came to mind was, "Where are you staying?"
"My mom's."
He smirked, because it was in his nature to tease. "Cute."
"Shut up," Justin replied with a smile.
Brian hadn't realized how much he'd missed that smile.
"Um. I have to get back," said Justin. "I didn't mean to stay so long, but Debbie kept feeding me. I'll... see you around?"
"Yeah," answered Brian, amazed that they'd come to this. He hoped the next encounter wouldn't make him feel like he was in junior high. He didn't think he'd been this awkward when he was in junior high.
Justin gave him another smile before starting off.
For old times' sake- or so he told himself- Brian had to check out his ass as he walked away, and Justin caught him when he turned back one more time to look. Brian refused to annoy himself by looking away. He wasn't going to be that way. He'd never been that way. He wouldn't start now.
"Hey, Justin!" he called.
Justin stopped immediately. He'd been walking slowly, and hadn't gotten far. "Where are you going to be tonight?" Brian asked, taking a few steps towards him.
"Trying to meet a deadline," Justin said. "I have to be dedicated and hardworking until Friday at five." He paused. "Is your number the same?"
"Yeah."
"I'll work fast. Call you when I'm done?" With that, Justin started walking backwards away from him. "Stop checking out my ass!"
God damn kid.
Really, it wasn't fair, Brian thought as he walked into the diner. Justin shouldn't be able to do this sort of thing to him. This was unacceptable.
Then again, what was the best reaction to your ex-fiance moving back home after five years? Especially when you were glad he was home? And Brian was glad he was home.
Debbie was practically glowing. "Did you see him?" she asked as Brian slid into the booth next to Michael.
"I saw him," Brian said. He looked at Michael and asked quietly, "Did you know about this?"
Michael shook his head. "I just walked in and he was sitting at the counter. I had no idea, I swear."
"Our Sunshine's back!" Debbie chirped.
"Yes," Brian said. "I saw."
"She's a little excited," Ted explained.
Brian raised his eyebrows in a nonverbal "You think?"
"So I'm happy to see him here," Debbie said defensively. "Is that a crime? I can't believe he didn't say anything beforehand. I haven't heard from him for months and then here he is."
"Can I get some coffee?" Brian asked, because that was quicker than anything that had to be cooked.
"And I'll just have the usual," Ted said.
Debbie didn't even bother writing down the order. "Sure. Coming right up."
"Did everything go okay?" Michael asked as soon as his mother was safely out of earshot.
It wasn't a stupid question, but Brian was annoyed and felt off-balance, so he had to treat it like a stupid question. "What, you didn't see us fucking outside the diner?"
"Must've missed that part. Seriously. Everything okay?"
"We said hi. It's not a big deal," Brian lied. It was a big deal. It was a big deal because it left him feeling bothered, and a little bit hopeful, and it shouldn't have.
"It isn't like things between you and him ended on bad terms," Ted reminded him.
It would be wonderful if everyone else could just stay out of it, so Brian chose not to remind anyone that technically, he and Justin had never ended. "Hey, Deb," Brian called. "Can I get that to go?"
"We're going?" Ted asked.
"I'm going. You can come with me if you drop the fucking subject," Brian told him.
"Consider it dropped."
"Or he's fired?" Michael asked with a little smile, because he knew the drill.
Ted smiled. "It's not easy to fire the guy who does your payroll."
"So I've learned," Brian said dryly, but amazingly, they complied by not mentioning Justin again. At least for the time being. Maybe they could go an hour without bringing it up again. Or maybe an hour would be pushing it.
*****
Maybe, maybe, maybe Justin might have managed to get some actual work done today, except running into Brian had knocked that plan right on its ass. He knew he was reading too much into it, getting lost in that initial rush that came with seeing him again, and knowing that besides the hair and a couple little lines that he would never ever admit he noticed, Brian was still Brian. He could tell.
By the time Jennifer got home that evening, Justin had gotten plenty of drawing done. It just wasn't the work he was getting paid to do.
2 /
AUTHOR: trickster_
FANDOM: Queer as Folk US
DISCLAIMER: They are all owned by Cowlip and Showtime and not me.
SUMMARY: You can go home again, but that doesn't mean it's easy.
RATING: Overall, R. This part: PG-13 (language)
CATEGORY: Drama
SPOILERS: Post 513
Things always looked different when you came home after time away. A busy new store had replaced a once-empty building decorated with signs advertising the realtor selling the space. Billboards on the way in advertised clubs and products and local news shows that weren't familiar. The people seemed to walk differently than memory recalled. They talked differently. Dressed differently. It's easy to think that they were always like this and it'd been easy to miss while living here, but Justin knew better. Things had changed without him.
The only times it seemed that Justin rode as a passenger in his mom's car anymore was when they were coming back from the airport or bus station, or headed back there. It had been standard routine, but for some reason this time it made him feel about ten years old. Maybe it was because there wouldn't be a return trip.
Finally breaking the silence that had followed them from the bus station, Jennifer asked, "Do you want to stop anywhere?"
He wasn't about to let his mommy drop him off somewhere, so Justin shook his head. "Not now," he said. "I'm tired and I couldn't finish my work on the trip."
"Okay. Just... Debbie's been asking about you lately. It might be a good idea to go see her when you get a chance."
"I will. And I'm completely expecting to get torn a new one when I see her," Justin said with a little smile. He knew Debbie wouldn't actually yell at him. He might get a little lecture about not calling as much as he was required to, and then she'd proceed to hug the life out of him.
"Just as long as you're prepared," Jennifer said with a quick little smile. "Listen, Justin... I am really sorry it didn't work out."
He shrugged, turning his face again towards the window. "It's okay. Somehow I'll survive."
Justin's bedroom for the time being was going to have to be the living room, which wasn't a big deal. In his more desperate attempts at finding somewhere decent to live, he'd had to make the common area his home before. He wasn't used to doing that in his mother's apartment, but Molly had her own room and he wasn't about to kick anyone out. It meant having to live out of the bags dumped beside the sofa and spreading his work out on the coffee table and having to deal with interruptions like the phone, which seemed to ring every hour on the hour and was always for Molly.
It was past eleven before Justin actually got time alone to work, and then he didn't have the inspiration. Not that the living room of his mother's little apartment would provide him with much. He crashed on the sofa after a couple meaningless hours of staring blankly at boring, half-finished sketches, only to wake up to the sounds of Jennifer getting ready for work.
"Do you need to go anywhere?" she offered again before leaving.
Biting back his first response, a response Jennifer hadn't earned, Justin shook his head. "I'm fine. Thanks."
He watched her leave, and stretched out on the sofa. He knew this was ridiculous. He'd been out of the house since he was a teenager. He hadn't felt the need to answer to anyone. He could go where he wanted to go and do what he wanted to do. And while he probably could get away with that now, he felt stifled just being here again.
Molly was out early, which left Justin alone. He might have appreciated it, except that years in New York had made stunning amount of noise commonplace. He was used to sirens and traffic and voices in the halls of his apartment buildings. He wasn't sure if he knew how to work in silence anymore. This was too quiet. Lonely.
Justin decided that he was determined to be pissed off and crabby, and he didn't actually want that.
*****
He walked slowly down Liberty Avenue, which didn't seem as flashy as he remembered, though New York may have tainted his view a bit. Most of the places were still there, though the day spa between the porn shop and the tattoo parlor was a new sight.
The diner, however, was completely unchanged. It looked the same, it felt the same, and the clientele was even more or less the same. He recognized a couple people, and one kid whose name Justin couldn't remember actually said hi, though to be honest, the kid probably didn't know Justin's name, either.
And there was Debbie, handing plates of food to the customers at a table. Justin couldn't resist scaring her a little, standing directly behind her and saying, "Hi, Deb."
She jumped, turned her head to see who the asshole was, and just about squealed when she saw him. "Sunshine!" she cried, and shoved the tray into the hands of one of the customers in order to pull Justin into a rib-cracking hug. Then she pulled back and demanded, "Why the fuck haven't you called?"
"I've been busy," Justin said, though that was the exact opposite of the truth. In reality, he'd been so very not busy that his phone had been turned off three months ago.
"What are you doing here?" Debbie asked, grinning widely. She seemed more pleased by the second at seeing him. "How long are you in town for?"
"Um. Permanently, I think."
The smiled immediately vanished, replaced by a familiar expression of motherly concern that she had perfected long before Justin ever met her. "What happened to New York?"
"Didn't work out." He didn't want to get into the details right now. It was too long a story and they were around too many people and he was really not in search of pity.
"Oh. Well," Debbie said, and hugged him again, "I'm not gonna say I'm sorry to see you here." She took the tray back from the irritated-looking patron, then headed back behind the counter. Justin followed, taking a seat on one of the stools. "So what'll it be?" Debbie asked him.
"I really don't have time to eat," Justin said. "I left a ton of work to do. I just needed to get out for a little while."
"Then you have time for lunch," she insisted. "So. What'll it be?"
*****
"I told you to shove it up his ass and I meant to shove it up his ass."
Ted made a face, nearly tripping over the curb when he looked over at Brian. "I wasn't planning on going anywhere near his ass. It's so big I'd probably get lost."
Brian shook his head, trying to fight down the annoyance at the whole situation. The annoyance wasn't actually at Ted, but letting him know that would be something akin to giving away a Brian Kinney trade secret, and he couldn't have that. "Listen to me, Theodore," he said sharply, "we're there to serve the client. We do not allow them to fuck us. You let a client take advantage of you and you open the door for them to do it again."
"I get that. But I'm still not going anywhere near his ass."
"You're killing me."
Ted nodded. "Yeah. Am I fired again?"
"You're always fired. It's easier that way."
Brian grabbed onto the bar on the door to open it, except someone was pushing it open from the other side. Brian heard "Sorry," only he recognized the voice, and he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw who it was.
"Oh my God," Justin greeted him, looking happily surprised. "Hi."
Brian's brain, still mentally in distress due to a late night and a morning full of clients who could probably benefit from the fun involved in a late night, stalled at, "You're back."
"Yeah," Justin said. He looked good. He really did. The hair was a little longer, the face looked only the tiniest bit older because Justin would probably still get carded at forty, but he still looked like Justin. There was something slightly different about him, the way he carried himself, maybe, but Brian couldn't put his finger on what it was.
Justin let his eyes flick to Ted once before actually tearing his gaze away from Brian. "Hi, Ted."
"Justin! It's good to see you," Ted said, giving him a hug hello. He looked between the two of them, smiled uncomfortably and said, "Oh, look. Busy lunch hour. I'll grab us a seat." He touched Justin's shoulder, then headed inside quickly.
"I, um..." Justin paused, looking at a total loss. He was just as shocked by this as Brian was, though he had to have expected that they'd see each other eventually. Brian hadn't had that luxury. "How've you been?"
"Good. No one told me you were in town," Brian managed, and it was fucking idiotic that he had to manage to say anything. And if someone had known Justin was in town, Brian was going to have to kick their ass for putting him in the position to be so thrown.
"No one really knew. It was a spur of the moment thing."
"Everything okay?"
Justin nodded. "Yeah. Everything's fine. No one died or anything. I'm just home."
There was something about the way he said it that prodded Brian to ask, "Permanently?"
Slowly, Justin nodded again. "Yeah."
Brian wasn't sure how to classify that feeling deep in his stomach other than stupid. He was past this sort of thing. Too old for it. Whatever. Yet the first appropriate question that came to mind was, "Where are you staying?"
"My mom's."
He smirked, because it was in his nature to tease. "Cute."
"Shut up," Justin replied with a smile.
Brian hadn't realized how much he'd missed that smile.
"Um. I have to get back," said Justin. "I didn't mean to stay so long, but Debbie kept feeding me. I'll... see you around?"
"Yeah," answered Brian, amazed that they'd come to this. He hoped the next encounter wouldn't make him feel like he was in junior high. He didn't think he'd been this awkward when he was in junior high.
Justin gave him another smile before starting off.
For old times' sake- or so he told himself- Brian had to check out his ass as he walked away, and Justin caught him when he turned back one more time to look. Brian refused to annoy himself by looking away. He wasn't going to be that way. He'd never been that way. He wouldn't start now.
"Hey, Justin!" he called.
Justin stopped immediately. He'd been walking slowly, and hadn't gotten far. "Where are you going to be tonight?" Brian asked, taking a few steps towards him.
"Trying to meet a deadline," Justin said. "I have to be dedicated and hardworking until Friday at five." He paused. "Is your number the same?"
"Yeah."
"I'll work fast. Call you when I'm done?" With that, Justin started walking backwards away from him. "Stop checking out my ass!"
God damn kid.
Really, it wasn't fair, Brian thought as he walked into the diner. Justin shouldn't be able to do this sort of thing to him. This was unacceptable.
Then again, what was the best reaction to your ex-fiance moving back home after five years? Especially when you were glad he was home? And Brian was glad he was home.
Debbie was practically glowing. "Did you see him?" she asked as Brian slid into the booth next to Michael.
"I saw him," Brian said. He looked at Michael and asked quietly, "Did you know about this?"
Michael shook his head. "I just walked in and he was sitting at the counter. I had no idea, I swear."
"Our Sunshine's back!" Debbie chirped.
"Yes," Brian said. "I saw."
"She's a little excited," Ted explained.
Brian raised his eyebrows in a nonverbal "You think?"
"So I'm happy to see him here," Debbie said defensively. "Is that a crime? I can't believe he didn't say anything beforehand. I haven't heard from him for months and then here he is."
"Can I get some coffee?" Brian asked, because that was quicker than anything that had to be cooked.
"And I'll just have the usual," Ted said.
Debbie didn't even bother writing down the order. "Sure. Coming right up."
"Did everything go okay?" Michael asked as soon as his mother was safely out of earshot.
It wasn't a stupid question, but Brian was annoyed and felt off-balance, so he had to treat it like a stupid question. "What, you didn't see us fucking outside the diner?"
"Must've missed that part. Seriously. Everything okay?"
"We said hi. It's not a big deal," Brian lied. It was a big deal. It was a big deal because it left him feeling bothered, and a little bit hopeful, and it shouldn't have.
"It isn't like things between you and him ended on bad terms," Ted reminded him.
It would be wonderful if everyone else could just stay out of it, so Brian chose not to remind anyone that technically, he and Justin had never ended. "Hey, Deb," Brian called. "Can I get that to go?"
"We're going?" Ted asked.
"I'm going. You can come with me if you drop the fucking subject," Brian told him.
"Consider it dropped."
"Or he's fired?" Michael asked with a little smile, because he knew the drill.
Ted smiled. "It's not easy to fire the guy who does your payroll."
"So I've learned," Brian said dryly, but amazingly, they complied by not mentioning Justin again. At least for the time being. Maybe they could go an hour without bringing it up again. Or maybe an hour would be pushing it.
*****
Maybe, maybe, maybe Justin might have managed to get some actual work done today, except running into Brian had knocked that plan right on its ass. He knew he was reading too much into it, getting lost in that initial rush that came with seeing him again, and knowing that besides the hair and a couple little lines that he would never ever admit he noticed, Brian was still Brian. He could tell.
By the time Jennifer got home that evening, Justin had gotten plenty of drawing done. It just wasn't the work he was getting paid to do.
2 /