When I woke up, my first thought was Am I late? I don't have any clocks in my room; the buzz and flash keeps me up at night. I keep a watch on my bedside table, but my sleepy hands couldn't be bothered to find it. I clicked on my lamp. The light flickered once and then died with a crackle. I searched for my watch in the dark; found it; and then ( Read more... )

You know those times when you're waiting in line to buy something from someone who honestly has to be the most incompetent worker in the country? You're running late, and she can't seem to count change or work the cash register or figure out how to turn off the security tags. She fucks it up so bad that she has to call over two managers, and you ( Read more... )

I went for a drive today. I'm not overly fond of cars. I'd prefer running or biking or swimming or skiing or flying. But I write characters who drive in cars, so it's a good idea for me to get behind the wheel once in a while and remember what it feels like to shift, what it's like to race the light and speed through just before the yellow switches ( Read more... )

Children think that if they close their eyes, they magically become invisible. They can't see anything, so they reason that no one can see them either. Ostriches do this, too. Ostrich meat is a delicacy. Children's meat is only acceptable in the satirical context of Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal."

That wasn't quite my point.

Toddler Twins Go on Rampage, Shed ClothesPARIS (Reuters) - Two three-year-old twin boys who disappeared from home then reappeared hours later without their clothes had been off wreaking havoc in a neighbor's empty house, French newspapers reported on Thursday ( Read more... )

There's something about being in Canada that makes the world look a little different. Words have unexpected u's, softening the look of the letters, hidden to the ear but amusing to the eye. People smile like they mean it. They fly their flags, not because they think it's expected of them, but because they damn well want to. We could learn a lot ( Read more... )