Fic: I Just Want You to Know Who I Am 4/? - Kradam
Title: I Just Want You to Know Who I Am
Pairing: Kradam, obv. lol
Author: Haley (iwtfcp)
Rating: This chapter NC-17
Word Count: 1,584
Summary: Adam is in an accident and wakes up in the hospital, with no recollection of the past year of his life.
Notes: Some flashback smut in this chapter! ;D hope i did okay.
Chapter 1: http://iwtfcp.livejournal.com/671.html
Chapter 2: http://iwtfcp.livejournal.com/893.html
Chapter 3: http://iwtfcp.livejournal.com/1080.html
Chapter 4
I'm sitting in the waiting room of this damn hospital, wondering what
the hell I'm going to do if they let me into his room. I want to see
him, so bad it physically hurts, but right now I don't think I can
face the fact that he doesn't remember me, us. I don't even know how
to explain what we have to myself, let alone speak it aloud to him. I
know he deserves to know everything, but I just can't fathom
describing to him what happened a few hours before his accident...
Adam's dragging me through an empty corridor in the back of our
rehearsal arena. His hand grips my wrist hard, not enough to hurt, but
enough to tell me that whatever's going on here is serious. I don't
ask Adam what he's doing, because I think I already know. He pulls me
in front of him and pushes me lightly into an empty dressing room to
our right. He enters behind me, closing the door.
"Kris." Adam pauses, waiting for a response that doesn't come. I can't
bear to meet his eyes. Instead, I fixate my vision on a glittery black
cape-looking thing draped on a red velvet chair. I wonder feebly if I
can distract him with it. No such luck, I bet, with the determination
in his face.
"I need you to tell me what's going on here,” he continues.
"What are you talking about?" I protest softly, unconvincingly. "Oh
come on," Adam says, obviously irritated, and not without reason.
"Don't try that with me, Kris. I have one thing to say to you. No
one, especially me, likes a fucking tease."
I flinch at the swear. Not because of what it is, but what I can hear
inside it. Pain, lust, frustration, others I can't put names to. I
know he's beating himself up, too, for putting me on the spot. He
cares about me, and now I realize I've been taking advantage of that.
Those sideways glances and secret, intimate smiles just for him. Not
to mention the flirty comments in interviews, the ones I blanket in a
facade of humor so I don't have to admit to myself or anyone else that
I really mean what I'm saying.
There's a pause that seems like forever to me, to him as well, because
after a while he gets sick of waiting for me to have the balls to say
something, and turns to exit the room with a heavy, drained sigh.
"Wait," I hear a voice say, and realize it came from my own mouth. He
releases his hand on the doorknob hesitantly and slowly turns to look
at me.
The face before me makes my breath catch in my chest.
There are tears in his defeated eyes, one beginning to slide down his
cheek, which he wipes away vigorously with his sleeve. Now, finally,
it fully sinks in that I've caused all this. My stupid ignorance has
caused this beautiful creature's pain. Because that's what he is,
isn't it? So beautiful. And I love him.
So there it is, the only thing running through my mind as I cross the
room in two long strides, and wrap my arms tightly around his neck, my
own tears blurring my vision.
"Oh my god..." I whisper over and over into his chest. "I'm so sorry,
Adam..." At first he doesn't move, arms limp at his sides, but after a
while I feel them rise to wrap around my waist. "I didn't know..." I
mumble through my tears. "You're seriously telling me you didn't know
I was pretty much completely in love?" he answers. I'm so glad he
finally said something that I chuckle despite myself. "No," I reply.
"I just didn't know I was."
Adam's arms release me slowly, reluctantly, and his strong hands move
to rest on my hips. I take a small step backwards, hands still around
his neck. He looks down at me, eyes guarded. "Are you serious?" he
says softly down to me. "Would I have said it if I weren't?" I reply
confidently. Suddenly his shield breaks wholly and Adam dips down and
crashes his lips to mine.
If I had any reservations at all before, there's definitely none now.
My own self-control shatters, and now my while body is crushed against
Adam's, my tongue slipping trough his lips, and he's backing us up so
my back hits the edge of the counter lining the wall. He breaks the
kiss to whisper "Sit," into my ear. I obey, releasing my arms from him
and hoisting myself up onto it. Adam backs up and says louder, "Stay."
He turns and walks to the door, locking it hastily.
My erection is straining uncomfortably against my jeans, and becomes
even more insistent when I see Adam strutting back towards me with
lust-filled eyes and a noticeably bigger bulge at the front of his
impossibly tight jeans. He reaches me, nudging my knees apart with his
thighs and stepping between them. The pressure on my cock through my
pants causes me to groan automatically. Adam ducks to catch my mouth
again, and his hands move to unbutton my shirt, all while rolling his
hips against me in a constant rhythm, making my head spin.
He runs his tongue along my bottom lip and I open for him, but instead
he drops his mouth to my now-bare chest and licks there, gradually
bending lower, leaving a wet trail, marking me. Adam reaches my navel
and I gasp loudly, realizing his plan.
His hand moves to my crotch, cupping my aching erection, while his
other hand pops open the button on my jeans and lowers the zipper. I
moan unabashedly. "Help me out with these, baby," Adam whispers.
Lifting myself up with my hands on the counter, I rise just enough for
him to pull the jeans and my briefs down off my ass. My cock, rock-
hard and throbbing, springs out from its confines and I throw my head
back in relief. Adam goes down, pulls off my shoes and let's them fall
to the floor, my pants and briefs soon following. Finally, he lowers
his face to my crotch, inches away, closing his eyes and breathing me
in. His fingers close around the base of my cock and I let out a small
whimper, knowing what's next.
When Adam's hot mouth engulfs the head, I lose all coherent thought
and my eyes roll back. He's doing this swirling thing with his tongue
that's driving me crazy. His lips pull back and he kisses the tip
tenderly, and I just have to have that hot tongue again, so I thrust
forward and he takes all of me in.
It doesn't take long for me to come, with my cock hitting the back of
Adam's throat over and over, and his hand stroking the base, not to
mention that wicked, frantic tongue of his. I try and warn him,
"Adam...I'm gonna--" but he just keeps sucking, moving faster, even. I
come with almost a scream, as high-pitched as my voice will go,
shooting hot saltiness down his throat, and he laps it all up like
it's some kind of gourmet dessert. It's definitely one of the sexiest
things I've ever seen.
My lips are parted, and I'm breathing heavily toward the ceiling. Adam
stands up and takes the opportunity to promptly stick his tongue in my
mouth. I can taste myself on his tongue as he steps closer and grinds
his own hardness up against my softened cock, and I remember that he
still needs to be tended to. Without breaking the kiss, I grasp his
belt buckle and undo it with shaking hands, and frantically open the
button on his jeans. Adam groans deep in his throat as I lower his
zipper. I shove my thumbs under the waistbands of both his jeans and
boxers, working them down.
His thick, lean length is exposed now, and I break our kiss to admire
it. I find myself unable to resist touching him, and I wrap both of my
hands around his pulsing cock. He moans loud in encouragement, and I
begin to stroke him. The angle is awkward, but I want him to come so
badly, and I increase the speed of my hands until I'm frantically
pumping and I hear his breathing become erratic and he's rocking into
me faster, and then he's coming all over my hands.
Adam then puts his hands on my shoulders, holding on for dear life,
and I feel his body shake with a silent chuckle. He lifts his head to
look at me, with a huge, genuine smile on his beautiful face. I smile
back, happier than I can ever remember being in my life. He places his
hands on either sides of my face, leans in and kisses me softly.
"I can't believe we didn't do this sooner," he says. I laugh and
reply, "I know, I know."
"Is there a Mr. Kris Allen here?" A woman's voice snaps me out of my
trance. I stand up quickly "Yeah, yes, I'm him," I say. "Alright,
well, Mr. Lambert in room 205 has asked for you. Do you want me to
escort you to--" "No, no," I interrupt. "I know where it is. Thank
you." And then I find myself almost running towards Adam's room, even
though I still don't know exactly what I'm going to say to him.